I really really need to tell people to tune this noise out and live lives for themselves, because that's finally where a place of peace that I've come to and I've worked really hard for, and people are trying to take that piece away from me.
There are no girls on the Internet.
As a production of iHeartRadio and Unbossed Creative, I'm brigitad and this is there are no girls on the Internet. If you don't get married and have kids, you're going to wind up old, sad and alone, surrounded by nothing
but cats. It sounds like an attitude right out of the nineteen fifties, right, But lately I've noticed an uptick in social media content pretty much telling young women that if you're not on your way to marriage and parenthood in your twenties, you're doing life wrong and you're going to regret it.
Now.
Not only is this attitude completely heteronormative, but it's incredibly limiting in so many other ways too.
The truth is, people live.
All kinds of dynamic, full, interesting lives, with partners without partners, between partners with multiple partners, with kids without kids, and when the host of the Pretty Much Done podcast, Julia Maser took to TikTok to share a wholesome recap of her weekend as a single woman without kids. Right wing extremists viciously attacked her online for it, But Julia is not living her life for the Matt Walshes of the world. She's living her life for her.
So.
My name is Julia Maser. I am the host of pretty Much Done podcast.
So first of all, I really have to start with just you. You know, you went through something that I thought was pretty intense.
How are you doing?
How have you been taking care of yourself in this time of intensity online?
Yeah, definitely a unique experience. Never experienced anything like it. I think the one thing that I would say that it lash for me is being bullied in like elementary and middle school for my weight. So it definitely brought up feelings of that bullying. I didn't know that we still do that at thirty, but apparently we do. I'm doing well all things considered. I feel really lucky that the past three years for me have been like years of you know, working on my self worth in therapy
and figuring out who I am. And I feel like this happened at a place where I was able to handle it as best as I could ever handle it, so doing well all things considered.
I am so thrilled to hear that.
And that's such a good point that whenever I think about people who are you know, being harassed or facing like, you know, a torrent of negativity online, I you know, I'm I don't wish it on anybody. However, if it happened to somebody who hadn't done that self work, hadn't been a therapy, didn't feel so solid, didn't have a community of folks around them, didn't have all of those things, it might the story might be very different.
Yeah, no, totally.
I almost felt like I'm like spiritual, So I almost felt like this happened to me for us single girls, like it had to be Julia who could tackle this, because yeah, I was able to and I like had this amazing support system around me, and then a support system rallied around me as a result. But yeah, it like I almost think like it had to be me who had done the work for so long.
I'm so happy that you that you were in a place to do that work so that this didn't happen at a time and you didn't feel so solid, you know, I know that you're someone who really shares a lot of yourself digitally with the world through your amazing podcast pretty much done through social media. What drives you to do that? Like, like, why is that something that's part of how you show up to the world.
Yeah, I think some context into me and how I grew up would be helpful here. So I grew up in a Russian Jewish household, and growing up, a lot of the emphasis placed on me was get married, have kids, and you know, that's kind of the goal to try and achieve. And so for so long of my life, I found myself trying to achieve that goal, trying to date people in order to feel valued by not only
like my cultural society, but like society in general. And I thought that that only existed in the Russian Jewish society, and I knew that there are other cultures who experience those same things. But now realizing the rhetoric that was kind of echoed through the online bullying that happens in society in general, like the emphasis was placed on women getting married and having kids, and so I found myself in kind of these like, you know, not so great relationships.
They were kind of lackluster and feeling like unfulfilled and realizing that I was settling in order to appease other people and prove my value. And so I've really felt passionate about starting my podcast because I realized that the only way that we're going to feel fulfilled and find the right partner for ourselves is to feel fulfilled within ourselves and feel whole within ourselves. And so that's kind of what took me on my self love journey, my
spirituality journey, my journey with therapy and self love. And I was like, I need to tell people about this because so many people around me are settling for these whatever relationships, because society is telling us that we need to get married and have kids before thirty. And if you're still single, you're a spinster at thirty and you love cats, and you know you're going to live with
a bunch of cats. So I just really wanted people to feel like they were less alone with me sharing those same vulnerabilities.
That's what really drives me.
But that's why I love your podcast is that you know when I was single, I my story is very similar to yours. I really got caught up in relationships that looked good on paper or that like checked a box. And eventually I had just step back and realized that I was sort of terrified of being alone and that it didn't matter who I was with. If I wasn't kind of with myself right with myself, that nothing would
ever really feel right. And so I had to go through a process of getting to know myself and being alone and being okay with that and really getting to know myself. And I just don't think that we are taught to do that. You know, nobody gets a big party or like a bunch of gifts for not marrying the wrong person or for like kicking ass at therapy or whatever.
We get. We get big gifts for like getting engaged.
Right, And so I just don't think we live in a culture that tells people that you're enough, and you know, the the milestones on that journey to getting to know who you are though, should be celebrated too, because those are really important.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I always remember like, if I had a plus one at a wedding, I felt like, oh, thank god, this like sigh of relief because I was you know, I wouldn't have to face the chorus of people being like you're next, or when are you gonna find someone? Or something like that, and so so I totally agree with you. And something that's been top of mind for me is that I'm getting called a spinster through these online trolls and these bullies, but a man at thirty is getting
called a bachelor, Like why is that happening? So that's just something that's been crossing my mind.
Oh, there are all kinds of like I would argue deeply gendered double standards about being single as a young person, Like there's nobody who sees a guy at his thirties making a If a guy at his thirties made a TikTok about his life as a single guy like going, I don't know whatever single guys do, you know, going to the big game, whatever, whatever, no one will be like, oh that's so depressing.
He doesn't realize how empty his life is.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. It's terrible.
I said.
Some of the people that came to my defense were making that point of they would be telling a guy at thirty, who is you know, going to play golf first, having a lazy saturday, like you rock, you go, And for me, it's like your eggs are sand and You're gonna live alone for.
The rest of your life.
Last month, Julia posted a video to TikTok just describing her weekend. This is how I spent my Saturday as a twenty nine year old single woman who doesn't have kids running around. She said she had gone out for a fun night seeing Beyonce the night before, and was describing spending a quiet, pleasant day catching up on sleep, watching her favorite shows, and trying out a new recipe. Sometimes I feel like I'm behind in life, but days
like this make me appreciate my situation, she muses. So, when you posted that TikTok about your weekend, that sounded awesome. By the way, you had gone to Beyonce, you were sleeping in, you were making shakhshuka when you posted it. What did you think the reaction was going to be?
Yeah, so I like the intent behind posting it. Sometimes I'll wake up in the mornings and you know, like, as a single girl, my sister, like sometimes I can't FaceTime her because at ten, she's at like soccer practice. She has two kids, so she's at like soccer practice and doing all these things. And sometimes I guilt myself by like Juliet, You're like, you're still in bed at
nine thirty. You haven't gone out of bed yet. And I do this self inflicted guilt, and so what I wanted to tell people is like, listen, when you guilt yourself for not being where society wants you to be, this is what I'm doing with my day. I went to Beyonce last night, I dance, I was with friends. I'm going to make a new recipe schactuka, Like how lucky and privileged am I that I get to do that instead of the you know, self loathing talk of like why aren't you at soccer practice and why haven't
you found your partner? So that was my intent and I just wanted to make people feel less alone in that. And at first I was getting a lot of positive feedback and people saying like, yes, thank you, I feel seen this. This is my weekend too. I am thirty and single and I feel seen by this.
Let's take a quick break ed her back.
Julia's TikTok was getting lots of love for just being a wholesome appreciation of her life as a single woman. That is until Matt Walsh reposted it to his over two million Twitter followers, saying that Julia was quote too stupid to realize how depressing this is. Chaia Reischik, creator of the LGBTQ hate and harassment account Libs of TikTok, joined in saying this video reeks of desperate cope. Enemy of the show Candice Owen said this is what future depression,
Xanax and wine Combo Nights alone look like. But hey, the shak shuka. When Mark Cuban defended Julia, former Trump White House advisor Stephen Miller hit back, saying, people, listen to your advice. What would you say is a more fulfilling path for adults starting a family or sleeping late and watching TV?
What advice would you give.
To someone who suggests they wish to be childless they can stream more shows. Now, keep in mind, Julia never said any of this. How any of these people who don't even know her and have never spoken to her would have any idea what kind of life she has or wants for herself is beyond me. But Wash clearly unleashed something ugly, and the hate kept rolling in. People were even telling Julia that the only way that she would ever have kids is if she were sexually assaulted.
In our current social media landscape, it could be anything that gets someone, especially someone from a traditionally marginalized background or identity, piled on online with hates, threats, and harassment. This is something I hear a lot from people who have gone through this kind of harassment that it's easy to think the targets must have done something to deserve it.
But you really don't have to do anything wrong for somebody like Matt Walsh to decide to send two million people your way to pile on with hate.
And that's exactly what happened to Julian.
I can't like speak for these people on their mentality because I don't know what it was really that irked them, But I all I know is like I don't want to wallow and self pity because I have been that girl dating from that kind of like desperation of police come save me. And so if that if if they want me to be miserable, let me tell you, like that was a really miserable existence. So like, I don't know what they wanted from me and what riled them up so much. I almost think that they got riled
up by Matt Walsh. Like I think that they were like he says that this is you know, she's stupid and depressed, so we're gonna go along with that. I almost think that that's what it took for them to be so angry.
I feel like I saw the comments and the reaction to the video in real time go from like supportive, like thank you for making me feel so seen, thank you for reminding me to be gentle with myself and reminding me to be appreciative with my with like what I have to Matt Walsh and folks on Twitter posting about it, and then they're this being this like very
clear shift. Did you see the same thing where like it was like it made it to the wrong side of the internet, and then the reaction completely changed.
Yeah, yeah for sure. So Saturday I posted it and then all of Saturday positivity great and it was a wonderful day. And then Sunday I woke up and people started to attack and it almost felt like this wave. I kind of tell people like it feels like a like five hundred people came into your house and started punching you.
Like it was very scary.
And someone commented saying, you know, like Matt Walsh posted this on his Twitter and I had seven thousand TikTok followers at the time. This man has two point four million followers on Twitter. So the playing field was vastly different and it was really really scary, And when it happened, I got scared and I deleted TikTok, like not my profile but just the app from my phone because I had never experienced anything like it. Feeling like a bunch of people are just like punching you over and over
again and attacking you is really scary. And I kind of just went like dark, and I had plans with my cousin and a friend to go to the beach. We went to the beach. You know, I've done my like I know my rituals of now, like I meditate a journal, I like go places that make me happy. I was like trying to really hone in on those things.
But it was really scary, and I was having friends texts who have Twitter I didn't have Twitter at the time, who have Twitter followings and are on Twitter and said like, don't stay off, don't look at the comments.
Are you okay? And checking in?
I am glad that you're somebody who has like a good support system and that people like billionaire Mark Cuban were sticking up for you. I'm glad that you are seem to be pretty in touch with having a practice of how to get back centered when you're going through something so tough and so.
Scary, even though to be clear, you should.
Not have to have like a toolkit to deal with that kind of completely unacceptable behavior from strangers online who attack you because they have been sent there by somebody like Matt Walsh with this huge, massive online platform that he is using to harass somebody who didn't do anything at all.
I agree, I totally agree, And thank god I'm someone who had done the work, because there aren't a lot of people who even have access to doing the same works that I was able to do, and that you know, I handled it as best as I could with grace. I had this community, but I was still on my couch crying, like there are some really awful things that
people had said there. There were talks about how like the only way I'd have a kid is if I was sexually assaulted by someone you know calling me that I said that I look forty.
Now I'm like, do I need like filler?
In under my eyes, Like I am kind of spiraling in certain ways, and it's really scary to see how hateful people can be on the internet. I don't know about you, but I've ever been someone who stops to say something mean to someone.
I just I think.
That that social media allows people the ability to act like these, that people aren't humans who put themselves out there and say like people are talking about me as if I'm not reading it, They're like, she looks like this or she's this, and I'm like, this is my profile that you're commenting on. I see this, and it's it's awful. It's it's really awful.
I don't know if this is weird to say, Like the thing about people being like, oh, like she's this, she's that you have a like dope life, Like you seem like somebody who has a life that is very full of a lot of good things. You have the kind of life that people wish for, the kind of
life that people like are manifesting for themselves. And it is truly watching people try to make you think that your life is worthless and has no value because you don't have a husband and don't have kids is truly the gymnastics involved, because it's like, yeah, you actually are out here living a pretty full, lovely life, and then people trying to like gaslight you into like questioning whether or not that's the case.
But you know that your life feels good for you. You know.
It's like it's like, how has Matt washed somebody who's never even met you going to try to convince you that your life is less than when you this is a life that you've manifested for yourself.
Yeah, And it almost makes me feel so much more certain of the message that I'm trying to have come across with my social media and on my podcast, because I'm like I spent you know, my twenties kind of telling people around me, like my parents, my grandparents, like I don't want to settle in relationships, and like I really want to figure myself out before I find that
person and have that family. And then two point fourmally and people start attacking me, and I'm like, God, this so exists that I really really need to tell people to tune this noise out and live lives for themselves, because that's finally where a place of peace that I've come to and I've worked really hard for and people are.
Trying to take that piece away from me.
I have to say, like, just this idea that if you are in your twenties and you're not married and you don't have kids, that like you're so behind, that is so fucking crazy, Like I can't even like there's
no other way to even really put it. Like when you're in your twenties, you're so young, you have so much of your life ahead of you, You have so much getting to know yourself and getting to know what you want, what you don't want, like do you want to be in a relationship, what kind of relationship do you want?
Like had I.
Gotten married when I was in my twenties, for sure, I would be divorced, no question about it, because I just.
Didn't know who I was.
I wasn't, I wasn't like I didn't know myself enough. And so I almost feel like we're pushing young people into this box. This is like, oh, well, you need to be married with kids because society says so, or Matt w Wash sayso, or whoever says so. Not because it's something that's going to be good for you or something that you want, or even gonna be something that
endures because I don't know. I just think that coming to think, like, what's the rush to force people into this life that might not even be right for them yet. Candace Owen did an entire segment about Julia on the podcast Whatever. We actually talked about that specific podcast and our episode breaking down the network of Manosphere podcasts. Candace said that nobody should ever marry Julia because she's so
selfish and doesn't do anything for her community. Never mind the fact that how would Candace Owen know what Julia does with and for her community from one ninety second TikTok about how she spent one weekend. But something about that word that Candace used, selfish really struck me. Why is Julia selfish because she happens to not have children and spent a weekend cooking and resting. Who do we deem selfish just for living their lives?
Candace Owen started to speak about it, and she's posted about me a lot. She's started to call me selfish. She called me a selfish bitch. She's called me selfish for not having kids and not giving back to my community. She doesn't know what I do for my community. But she started to selfish. And what I think is selfish is like not knowing yourself and potentially having children at that point, so you can tell Matt Walsh that you're more valuable in society. I think that would be selfish.
That's such a good point, and that like also selfish. I don't know.
I really have a when you said that word, I really like, I almost a bristle, because I just think that we tell women that if you're living for yourself, if you are any kind of exploration is self exploration is like narcissistic or navel gazing. If you are living for yourself, centering yourself automatically, you are selfish.
You're not like what you like. I don't know.
I guess I feel like the existence of being a woman sometimes is this expectation that we will always be living for someone that is not ourselves, and if we live for ourselves, then we're automatically doing something wrong that is selfish.
Do you ever feel that.
Way all the time?
I mean, yeah, Cannice Owns is calling me selfish, and all of our followers are every day for sure. I definitely think so. And I mean, listen, when you make the choice to have kids, I think that that you can no longer be as selfish. I'm not speaking from experience. I'm not a mom, but I would imagine logically you just can't be as selfish. But in this period of time where you don't have that, you don't have those same responsibilities of having kids or having a partner, what
else would you do but focus on yourself? If you're I want tone in on the relationship with myself, love myself to a point where nobody can kind of take that away from me. What I don't know what else I should be doing. There are things that I enjoy doing, and I do give back to my community, I do spend time with my family, but I don't I want to prioritize myself as well.
Well, that's the like, like most long term relationship you're gonna have in life is the one like you can't like.
Like, who else would you be prioritizing?
And I think that, Like, yeah, we just tell women that most your validation needs to come from someone externally, right,
Like it can't come from within. And I think you're someone for whom I think that your validation is self validation, like it comes from within, And like Matt wash or candae Owen can't take that away, and I think that's part of what freaks them out, is that your when you have validation that is motivated from within, nobody can disturb that because it's something that you that you bring to yourself.
Yeah, and I'm so like my therapist would be so proud because I've worked three years to get to that point. You know, I was someone who struggled with my weight growing up. At my heaviest weight, I was over two hundred pounds, and I needed so much constant validation from other people. I found myself dating to validate myself. So finally, I've worked so freaking hard to get to this point, and it was a hard journey, but like, loving yourself
is so much easier than hating yourself. And you can't control how other people are going to react to you, and I learned in this process, says, but you can control how you react to yourself. That's the only person's you know, actions that you can control.
Loving yourself is so much easier than hating yourself. There are so many times I have needed to hear that reminder, and I just really want to change the narrative around what we tell people especially young women, because it is a good thing to be gentle with yourself and love yourself and be curious about yourself. The relationship that you have with yourself should be one that is loving and complex, not one where you have your own bully as a running monologue in your head.
I'm just really.
Sick of this idea that we tell folks that hating yourself and putting yourself down by default is a normal part of being a woman, because it's not, and we should be getting our validation from within, you know, certainly not from strangers on the internet.
No, I'm tired of it. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of it. And I hope that all of us take our power back from having external influences influence the way that we see ourselves.
Hell, yes, I'm so tired of it.
More after a quick break, let's get right back into it completely. Anecdotally, I've seen a lot of social media content that seems geared towards scaring young people, especially women, into marriage and even beyond social media. Tim Scott, Republican senator from South Carolina who is currently running for president, just told a church full of people during a campaign stop that the best way to escape poverty was to get married and have kids.
He's single with no kids.
By the way, Julia hasn't seen that same wave of content aimed at scaring people into marriage that I've seen, but she says, you don't even really need to see it on social media specifically to see the ways that we're all immersed in that attitude. Have you noticed this uptick and content like that on social media.
It's so interesting because I got this same question when I was doing the Rolling Stone interview, and I I haven't. Maybe my algorithm knows like she's she's endured enough in her life that we're gonna spare her from this content. However, I did just get berated in my comments, so I didn't see the content, but I did see the content via comment. I haven't personally, but you know, I grew
up with it, so I have seen that. And like listen, we all grew up on Disney movies that said that if you find your prince charming.
You will live happily.
Ever after that content was ingrained in me, you know, early on. I haven't seen that content, but I'm sure it exists.
And if it's how if it's like if you you don't need to see the content, if you like grew up immersed in it, you know, like it's everywhere, it's in all the media.
Yeah.
I also had kind of a traditional upbringing and the same kind of vibe of yeah, like this is this is the old this is the end of your chapter.
Is getting married?
Like how many of those Disney movies end with there's a wedding and happily ever after, and like that's the end of her story.
Her story ends there when she gets the prince. Yeah.
I talked about this with someone on my podcast. I was like, we need like a sequel of like what happened to her after?
Like is she divorced?
Is she an alcoholic? Like what's going on with the princess?
Yeah, like she got divorced and then like started a business and now she's Yeah. It's like like that's not the end. But I grew up thinking that like, once you got married, that was it. And again, if you're telling young women who were in their twenties that they need to be getting married and that's the end of their story, there is so much left to be written
in their story. And I don't want people to to think that like the end all be all is a marriage, because there's just so much more to life, you know, even if you don't get married, Like I don't know if I don't know if you want to be married or want to have kids, but like, even if you decide that's not for you, that doesn't mean that you don't get to have a life that is full of joy and experiences and like, yeah, there's just so many
different ways to live life. I hate that we're selling this very narrow understanding of what makes a life to a generation of young women.
Yeah.
I think like a message a through line of my podcast, and like a lot of my content is like you know what's right for you, It's in your gut. Like if you've ever been in a relationship that's not right for you, you know your gut like comes knocking and you're feeling anxious, or like you read your journal entries and you're like, oh, that wasn't right for me, Or like if you're thinking about a move and you feel really passionate about that place you want to move to,
your gut knows. So I think that we see so many of these archetypes of lives that we should be living but if you think about it, like fifteen years ago, we wouldn't have assumed that we could be podcasters, right, but we realized that that's something that we're passionate about and we both have podcasts. Like, you really know what's right for you, and my through line is like, just drown out the noise and figure that out, and that's your journey to figure out.
Yeah, I oh, that's whatever younger people ask me for advice.
That's it's some vers of that that I say.
It's like, really try to hone in on is that you got to live your life for you, and your life's work is figuring out what that is. It's going to make you happy, not your parents, not society, not Matt fucking Walsh, of all people, like for you, because you're the one who has to live it right. Like I cannot tell you the laundry list of things I tried to make work for me because I wanted to
impress my parents or make them proud. And it's like, I know they're going to be disappointed if I drop out of grad school, but like they're not the ones who have to be in the classes miserable day in and day out.
That's me, so I'm like, what am I doing? You know, Like, I guess.
Do you have any advice for people who are want to like figure out what they want their life to be like and how they get to a life.
That is a little bit more aligned with what they actually want?
Yeah, this one is like a little bit more granular. But I this is my first advice that I tell people that is so accessible, and it's to start journaling because your subconscious knows all the truths and when you put it out pen to paper, it's telling you where you want to go and what you want to be. And like I think it's you know, whenever my friends tell me, like they want a career change, I'm like, you know, like what do you want to change it to?
They're like, I don't know, And I'm like, write down what your perfect day looks like, like when you wake up in the morning, what are you doing? And if you spit it out pen to paper, usually you're gonna get there. And it almost the dreams like almost scare you so much, but let them scare you.
Go do it. This is my favorite advice. You have no idea.
People who listen to the show might not know how much into like woo woo manifesting spirituality.
I am.
But I start every day with journaling, and you really you'll look back and be like, like what you want becomes clear, like it's in you, and then you see it on the page and you're like, oh, it's really clear to me that I don't like this or that I do want this.
You know.
It's also helped me just be more like navigate the world with more confidence. Like if I if somebody, if I'm like, oh, what's that really so bad what that person said to me?
I go back and read it, and I'm like, no, I was correct.
In my and the way that I felt like it almost is like it really allows you to just show up to your life with a lot more insight into what's going on with you. That is it's so powerful. So journaling, I think is a really really good tip. It doesn't cost any money. You can start it today, start it where you are, could just start you will you will definitely see a change.
Like that's such a good good tip.
Yeah, And don't you love looking back at your old journal entries and like you're like, oh, I'm so confused about this and then you're like, oh, my God, what
was I confused about? Or like, look how much I've improved, Like I love looking at it as a timeline of like you were worried about that, Wait until you see the new problems, Like I'm sure that you know two years ago me who was worried about like breaking up with her boyfriend would be like, wait, now you're worried about like Matt Walsh and Mark Cuban came to your defense.
Why I know.
I Julia a few years ago probably could not even imagine what Julia today in twenty twenty three is going through when dealing with like.
Life is just so interesting. So for sure, something that I.
Love about your work is how you really do a good job of celebrating kind of like where you are and what your life is like.
And I think that is so important.
I think it is important for especially single women to make content that really takes away that stigma that's like you're meant to be surrounded by cats, even though I'm surrounded by cats by choice, but like really just like appreciating your life. And so one of my favorite things when I was single was having a ton of time to myself to pour into my creative work, like I was never more you know, creative, and never more accomplished, and like all of that, I just had so much
time to focus toward my own projects. So that was something I loved being about single. What is your favorite part of your life as a single girl.
Yeah, I love that you can do with your time what you want to do. And I think it's like similar to what you're saying, you know, usually when you're in a relationship. I was just in a long distance relationship not too long ago. I kind of had to consider our schedules and figure that out. Now it's like, my schedule is mine and so if I want to, I don't know, go to like pick up and I'm
moving to Austin next month. If I want to pick up and move to Austin, I can do that because really, like this is the time where I'm able to take risks and I don't have those same attachments and I can grow as a person. I love single dumb for that reason, Like you grow the most in a as
a single person then in a relationship. I've found, and so I really enjoy getting to do what I want with my time and make time for the things that are important to me and spend time with the people who are important to me and really like hone in on those relationships.
I feel like you can appreciate your relationships differently. I have my brother just had his first child, So I'm.
An auntie, thank you.
But I feel like if I had children, I would be a less good aunt to my niece. Right, Like, because I don't have kids, I can like drop everything and go see her. Right because I don't have kids. When I see her, it is not just like I'm exhausted from raising my own kids. Like I almost feel like it allows for me to be appreciate what the other people who are in my life in a different way. And so that's something else that's like I find kind of nice about, you know, not having children.
I agree. I know I'm an aunt as well, and it's the best. I mean, I my sister won't enjoy this, but I say, like, is it best because like I can just like give the hard parts. It's like my sister takes it on, but I get to do all the fun stuff.
So I read an interesting piece in The National Review, which is a pretty conservative outlet, about how what happened to you really made conservatives and like extremist folks look bad because it was just gang up on somebody who didn't do anything wrong. They do sort of imply in the piece that like it sounds like Julia knows that being single with no kids is not ideal, which obviously
I do not agree with. But do you think the tide is sort of turning on this kind of you know, harassment and like ganging up on people that people are going to realize that like this is not a way to one just change hearts and minds, if that's what you're trying to do, but to just not a good way to relate to the world. That if somebody isn't bothering you, they're just living their life. Ganging up on them, especially when you have lots and lots of followers, is not a good way.
To live, I hope.
So, but I saw this video that someone made. He was like a right wing political guy, and he said, listen, like, if you if the right is trying to get people to come to our side and we're trying to get younger voters to come to our side, this is not.
The way to do it.
And I was like, yeah, totally, Like he was like berating her and calling her stupid and depressed is like not the way we're going to get voters to turn to turn to the right. And so I realized, like throughout this whole ordeal, how divided both sides are. And I think that just like what I learned is listen, I know I'm putting myself on the Internet. I understand
what comes with it. You get, you get mean comments, but the hate and like vitriol that was like happening saying I should be sexually assaulted, like you know, threatening me like that, I can't. I can't understand. I I just will never understand it.
Yeah, I mean I I I am with you one hundred percent about that. Like, like even if you were someone who was like making like trollish videos, hateful videos, which obviously you weren't, I would still say, like, well, you don't need to like threatening someone and bringing up, you know, sexual assault. That's there's never there's like, that's never okay, there's never. There's never a reason for that.
But yeah, like if if truly somebody thought that you were really making a like grave mistake with your life or something like that, the way to get you to reconsider would not be to call you stupid would not be to gang up and you would not be to be so horrible, and so yeah, all of that is to say, like, I think your situation really shows how intense and how like insidiary conversations online have gotten that someone can just wake up and be like, oh, enjoying
my lovely day, and that the reaction can be so intensely hateful. Thanks to the way social media platforms like Twitter are currently run, Matt Walsh potentially made a lot of money from calling Julia stupid and depressed. And it's far from the first time that Matt and people like him have done this.
They do it to trans and queer.
Youth, a lot people who might not have the same kind of support system that Julia has. Do we really want a social media landscape where people are incentivized to engage in this kind of pointless cruelty because it makes them money.
I think something that's interesting that I don't know that Matt Walsh's followers are fully aware of, but like my tweek got thirty million impressions, Matt's getting a payout on X So, like, I understand that this has become the way that he, you know, makes his income. I can't relate to tearing people down as making your income, but like you guys are only filling his pockets. And like at the end of the day, when you're threatening me with sexual assault.
Like what are you doing it for?
Yeah?
What is what is your you know, kind of impetus for doing this.
That's such a good point.
And I think with Matt Walsh, I worry that the way that social media algorithms work is that it's going to incentivize other people to be like, well, who else can I find who's just like mining their business and living their lives? Who I can you know, target to make money? Like I firmly believe that like these people are grifters who are lining their pockets through spreading harm to others. I see why they do it. I don't really get why other people like help them and pilon,
I don't know what they're getting out of it. But yeah's that's such a good point.
Yeah.
I think it was like two days later that Emily Radikowski was his new victim, who is like beautiful and wonderful and like well spoken. I'm like he knows he placed his audience.
I mean it almost sounds like he just really hates women. I'm like, that's really what it comes down to, Like who's gonna be my.
Next like pretty woman to take down a peg for no reason?
Yeah?
Yeah, he also hates trans people. He really like he's it's it's crazy.
Yeah, it makes me sad that we have amplified people who their whole thing is hate, Like just who do you hate?
Who's you know?
And I guess it's so funny because you said, like I can't relate to somebody who makes money this way because.
You have a real job.
You are someone who has like a good career and like good creative projects. It's like, that's what I'm saying, is like you're you're You're you're fine, You're like living your best life. And the kind of person who behaves in this way, obviously this person is not happy. If I if I had to choose whose life, I'd rather have somebody who went to Beyonce and then made shock shuka and had a great day or somebody who spent their day brated a stranger.
I think it's clear which one I'd rather choose.
Well, thank you if you're ever in La or if you're in Austin, will make shak chuku together.
How was the shak shuka?
It was delicious, it was amazing. I fully enjoyed it. But honestly, it's been hard to eat shak schuka since I can't lie.
Oh, I it's funny, I was. This is such an aside. I don't know.
If you're watching the new Real Housewives. One of the women, Aaron, she made shak shuka and I was like, oh, shak shuka kind of had it on the brain.
That's why it was on my brain too.
Yes, And I said in the video that I was gonna watch Real Housewives of New York And that's what Matt said that I was stupid that my life revolves around celebrities and pop stars.
Also, it could be argued that his life revolves around pop stars and celebrities because he brings them up every goddamn day. You're just like watching the show. He's creating entire campaigns around celebrities and pop stars. So whose life really revolves around it?
Yeah? I don't know where can.
Folks hear the podcast? It's one of my favorite podcasts. If you're not listening to it, you should be. But for folks who are not listening, where can they find it tell us about it?
Oh?
Well, thank you so much, Bridget. I'm so glad you listened. So my podcast pretty Much Done is everywhere. Podcasts can be found Spotify, Apple, Stitcher, on social, I'm pmd pod on TikTok and Instagram. My personal account is jayama Z you are, and I'm post content there as well, So check it out.
Got a story about an interesting thing in tech, or just want to say hi? You can reach us at Hello at tangodi dot com. You can also find transcripts for today's episode at tengodi dot com. There Are No Girls on the Internet was created by me bridget Toad. It's a production of iHeartRadio and Unbossed creative Jonathan Strickland as our executive producer. Tari Harrison is our producer and sound engineer. Michael Almato is our contributing producer. I'm your host,
bridget Toad. If you want to help us grow, rate and review.
Us on Apple Podcasts.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, check out the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.