Jonah Hill, Keke Palmer, and social media’s role in controlling relationships [PATREON TEASER]

Both of these situations illustrate what happens when social media overlaps with controlling behavior in romantic relationships, something that frankly, I just don't think we talk enough about, and something that I think that many of us have dealt with or unfortunately are currently dealing with. So I did a whole episode on Patreon and breaking all of this down.

We get into all of it, the weaponization of therapy speak, and whether or not it's ever we're okay for a romantic partner to police what we post on social media. And I thought it was such an important conversation that I wanted to share a little bit of it here in that there are No Girls on the Internet. Feed now If you want to hear the entire conversation, join us over at Patreon at patreon dot com slash Tengoti.

I should preface this by saying, I obviously don't know any of these people, and this is just my perspective from an outside person who knows a lot about the Internet and discourse online. I think that we have really gotten into a weird place when it comes to gender.

I think that this is just my opinion. I think that we've had the last ten years where like men's rights activists and in cells, and like pick up artists, guys like Fresh and Fit their podcast which is very popular, Guys like Andrew Tate, who is you know, currently being investigated for sex trafficking, right, like men who I think are dangerous because of their actions, but also because of the attitudes about gender and sex and sexuality and romantic

relationships and the expectations that men should have regular men should have around those things. I think that is also very dangerous. And I do believe that a lot of those attitudes are sort of maybe they start in these you know, kind of fringe or extreme pockets of discourse or the internet. Right, So, like, I don't I'm not gonna. I don't think that like Jonah Hill is listening to the Fit and Fresh podcast or Andrew Tate's podcast tape speech.

But I think that these attitudes start in places that are kind of fringe. They then get really quickly mainstreamed by social media platforms and you see these clips from the podcasts on Twitter things like that, so you don't have to be like a follow up or a listener of these influencers or personalities to get their messages. And I just think those messages have been filtered down to the general public, particularly to young people, particularly to men,

and we are no longer treating them as fringe. When they are really extreme, I would argue, really dangerous and really regressive. And I think what's worse is that I think that they keep everybody men women, everybody talking about like women who are dating men. I know this sounds very heteronormative, but that's the two examples that I'm talking about reflect that. But I think that they keep all parties from truly experiencing connection because regressive, rigid attitudes about

gender and dating. They obviously harm women who are in the relationships with men like this, but I think they harm the men as well, because they prevent those men from truly being able to see women as people, as humans that they can have respectful connections with. I think that it's this attitude that women are something to be controlled, women are something to be shut, like knocked down, and

to make submit. And I think that all of these podcasts and you know, influencers and all of that, I think that they all rely on this like underlying dynamic that you're as a man, your job on earth is to break women, have women submit to you so that you can fulfill your like you know, societally recognized place in relationships, which is you at the top and women at the bottom. And I have a really big problem

with this. I know this sounds like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but I spend so much time researching and studying the kinds of attitudes that are coming out of these, you know, men's right spaces. And it doesn't matter if you dress it up in therapy speak and bleach blonde hair and sleeve tattoos like Jonah Hill, or if you dress it up in the guise of life just being concerned for your family unit, like Kiki

Palmer's partner was doing. It's still really really seems like the same kind of dangerous, gendered rhetoric that comes from these pockets of the internet and our online discourse that are so dangerous. So that was just a little preview of our whole conversation. And I know this is not really a topic that I wade into often on the podcast and listen, I am no relationship expert by any means. I actually don't even talk about my own romantic life

or personal life on the podcast or even really publicly. However, I did just feel compelled to talk about this situation because I think it's an important one, and I just think it's one that we're not really talking about openly enough or honestly enough, and I honestly really do want to know your thoughts do so, if you want to hear the entire episode, just go to patreon dot com slash tangoty t A n G O t I and listen.