Cancel Culture Anxiety and Crap Jokes with Sophie Boudreau

Theme Song  0:05  

Therapy Roulette

: Consent to Vent /

 Trauma disguised as comedy

/ Therapy Roulette:

 Consent to Vent

 / If you don’t have problems,

 then you’re likely repressing shit

 / And you should find

 a therapist

 / (Who’s not me)

Michele Baci  0:21  

Hello and welcome to another episode of Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent. My name is Michele Baci, you can follow me on social media on Instagram, Michelle with one L. B- A-C-I comedy. And then at Twitter, I am Michele with one L. B-A-C-I. I did tweet about taking a bath with no water on election night because that's where I was at mentally. So follow me on Twitter, and Instagram to find more gems such as that. I have been really not having a good week because the news has been taking 10 years per minute to get out. The election is so dragged out. And I was really doing okay, up until Tuesday night, like I I recorded this interview, you're about to hear, the interview with Sophie, on Monday night. And it was nice to talk to a friend- someone funny- and share a little bit of election, election anxieties with her. We get into that in the episode. But Tuesday, I woke up early to volunteer and phone bank in Pennsylvania. And just talking to a couple people, I probably talked to 10 people. And most of those interactions were positive, people were voting, they're voting for Biden, and I was just like, great. I want to make sure you vote, you have a plan, you know your location. I'm here for your questions. I have the internet in front of me and some sources. And people were just really giving me back the positivity I needed. So I felt good all day Tuesday about it. And then I told myself not to watch the news. Until the polls closed. I told myself, don't go on Twitter for more than 10 minutes at a time because than I get into a Twitter hole. Limiting my social media like that helps immensely. I can't recommend it enough to tell yourself, hey, you get five or 10 minutes to go on social media and scroll. Because after that, for me, it really turns to doom scrolling. Unless I'm engaging with someone and it's an engagement I want to be in because social media can be such a waste of time. And then on our episode today, we do talk more about social media. And Sophie tells us how she likes to stalk her own Twitter past and comb through what she has said decades, more than a decade ago.

It got me thinking that I really use social media for the main purpose of reaching out to people, like I really use it as a social tool. And a way to stay in touch with friends or see what they're up to even if I'm more so lurking or stalking them, and not really commenting on everything. I do feel like more connected to people by checking out their social media every day. And if I can limit it to a short amount of time, and not get hours lost away from me, I really feel better about using it as a tool in my life. On election, Election Day, post day, the day after the election, Wednesday, I posted a lot on social media, a lot more than I normally would, meaning like a couple Instagram posts, more than one tweet, a lot of comments on the site. I needed to reach out to people. I felt so sad and alone and depressed because I didn't think the election would be this close. And I just don't know where to put this anxiety and this feeling of dread that I have even though Biden is doing really well. It's still so fucking close that I can't believe as a country...  the numbers, four years after Trump has been inaugurated, four years later, we're still we're split down the middle like we're so divided with people who want a pro science candidate who's working on a green new, green new deal and things I really am passionate about, you know, equality for all people, the sexes, gay and trans rights, these basic human rights that you would think every presidential candidate should be upholding in, in this election, only one of them is and it's Biden. So yeah, it baffles me that people are voting for the racist Cheeto and hopefully we have a winner by tomorrow, Friday, maybe today. Here's hoping. In the interview is Sophie we also talked about cancel culture as comedians and whether we are fearful of getting canceled. I am not personally fearful of getting canceled. I don't think I really. Uh, first of all, I don't have the audience to get canceled at this point in my career. I'm not a huge comic, I am a basement comic, I guess. Um, but I've never really been afraid of it. Because if you are self aware, and you think about what you're saying, and reflect on what you're saying, you should know, hey, am I being a piece of shit with the shit I'm putting out into the world? Or am I trying to do something better with the art I create to the world. And I think a lot more comics should think about that, or you know, their, it's a lot of their personal habits, I guess they get them cancelled, like, Louie CK, or

Chris D'elia, who are just behind closed doors, doing creepy ass things. So, be a good person, don't be a piece of shit. And maybe you won't get cancelled. Sophie and I discuss the bombardment of our friends and peers getting more political on social media, I know on Instagram, and ever since Black Lives Matter, started really taking this huge momentum. I think in like May or June, I've seen so many political posts from friends and screenshots of like, activists, and this really, really motivating posts to like, get off your ass and do something for the country. Go make the world better stop complaining about things and go do something. And I, at first was a little critical. It's like who are these people in my social circle telling me to go be political, when I've never heard them say a peep about anything like about anything political. I'm just wondering where it was coming from. But I think in lockdown, we've had so much time to just be at home and take in the news. And that lends itself to becoming more aware, hopefully becoming more active. And I'm proud of people I know who are are broadcasting that they want to be involved. And I only hope that it goes beyond Instagram. And they're really taking action in real life, talking to people doing the hard conversations and donating time, money, efforts to the candidates they believe in. Because if we don't dedicate time to creating political and social change, then you can't just screenshot something and and pretend like your, your work is done. Oh, I was you know, I'm basically MLK Jr. because I posted an Instagram story that lasted one minute today. You have to, you have to go do the hard stuff that gets you sweaty and dirty and tired and you're out talking to strangers, or calling strangers on the phone. You're basically doing a lot of trial and error like I phone banked three shifts for the presidential election and two shifts, I think no one answered. So I dedicated like 90 minutes of my time calling no one. Because the few people who did answer were like, wrong number! And that was frustrating. But then the the early shift I had, it was targeted as a key time- 6am Eastern Standard Time, or sorry, 6am my time in California. 6am New York time, Eastern time. And so I volunteered for that because they're like, oh, this is a really big time because people are waking up and going to work, 9am and we're targeting voters in Pennsylvania. So please vote, voting. Please donate your time to call if you can. So I did it. And I talked to like 10 people. So, one out of my three volunteer shifts was productive. Two were fruitless. But I still showed up and did the work. And that's what this is. You have to show up and do the work. So think about how you can make the world better. How you can make our country the country you want to live in and take steps to make that happen. Don't just sit and watch TV all day and don't be a, an old man throwing shit at the kids in the neighborhood. Go, go be a productive human. Today I talk to Sophie Boudreau, who is my friend, a fellow comedy writer. She was also a recent finalist for the NBC Late Night Writers Workshop, which is a huge accomplishment. I'd like to welcome to the podcast, Sophie! 

Theme Song  9:24  

Therapy Roulette

: Consent to Vent /

 Trauma disguised as comedy

Michele Baci  9:29  

I'm here with Sophie Boudreau, my good friend and former coworker. Sophie, how are you doing? Truthfully?

Sophie Boudreau  9:38  

Um, well. I have developed shingles at the age of 28. So I feel like that is the best indication of how I am doing right now. 

Michele Baci  9:48  

You're not the only one!

Sophie Boudreau  9:49  

Yeah, I know you and I were talking about our uh shared skin problems during this pandemic. So, um, I don't know like

Michele Baci  9:59  

Do you know the cause of it. Is it from stress?

Sophie Boudreau  10:00  

It's definitely from stress. Because I think the average onset for like someone to get shingles is 55 plus, like the doctor told me, he can't even give me the shingles vaccine for another 20 years. You have to be, you have to be 50. Yeah, it's absolutely stress-induced. Like,

Michele Baci  10:17  

That's. That's not fair, there's an age limit on the shingles vaccine?

Sophie Boudreau  10:21  

There is, yeah, it? I don't know. I honestly like I'm glad to know what it is because for two weeks beforehand, I was, I was like, it's a spider bite. It's some kind of STD that, like, somehow I got from someone that I did not have gotten active with. Like, I don't know. Um, yeah, but I feel like my recent shingles diagnosis really sums up my body's reaction to 2020 is just like pure stress. 

And today....

Michele Baci  10:53  

Wasn't like a, hey, at least you didn't get something worse. It just, a, a skin irritant

Sophie Boudreau  10:56  

well. Yeah, it's a virus technically. So I was saying to people, like if I'm going to get a virus during this time, I'd rather have it be shingles than COVID. But I'd also like to not have shingles in my 20s. But.

Michele Baci  11:09  

because from what I can gather from your social media presence, you haven't been seeing anybody? Have you seen any people in person?

Sophie Boudreau  11:16  

We have seen, I mean, other than Wilson, my boyfriend who I live with, um, I've seen one friend in like a park with a mask on. And that was like a big step for me. Because yeah, I'm being I'm being like, I'm that person who is taking COVID to the extreme when it comes to precautions, which, there are worse things,

I guess, that you could be doing during pandemic. But yeah, 

Michele Baci  11:40  

that's what all the medical professionals are doing. That's what all the doctors are doing. They're not leaving their houses unless they have to. 

Sophie Boudreau  11:46  

Yeah, I think it'd be a lot harder if I lived in Michigan, like where my family is, and where most of my close friends are. because it'd be very tempting to do like, more outdoor kind of meetups and stuff. And I'm sure if I lived there, I would have seen my family. But yeah, other than that one hang out with a friend. And then like, I had a friend come over and drop off something to me. So we chatted for like, five minutes. Yeah, I really haven't seen anyone other than people at the grocery store, who I like, yell at, internally. And doctors.

Michele Baci  12:19  

Is your mental health, suffering because of that? Or are you? How is your mental health affected by not seeing many people?

Sophie Boudreau  12:26  

I think, I think it's changed like since the beginning of the pandemic, like at first Honestly, I kind of appreciated the chance to be able to say no to things without having to come up with an excuse. Because like, I don't know, I mean, I love my friends. I like doing stuff, but I also definitely can be a homebody. And so it was nice to have that, like, built in reason to not see people. But now

Michele Baci  12:54  

You don't have to cancel anything because everything's canceled.

Sophie Boudreau  12:56  

Yeah, exactly. And now it's been eight months, and I'm starting to be like, oh, perhaps I do need social interaction to survive as a human being so yeah, like we've been, my friends and I and my family have done a lot of stuff virtually and a lot of zoom stuff, but it's definitely not the same at all. 

Michele Baci  13:15  

It's, it's a small bandaid for what you can't have right now.

Sophie Boudreau  13:18  

Yeah, like I went to the doctor to get, I actually, okay, got the shingles checked out, which is on my inner thigh. And I also I'm going somewhere with this. And then also, I had to get my lady exam, my annual pap smear a couple of weeks before that, and just feeling like the warm touch of someone who's not Wilson- It was titillating, I'm not gonna lie. It was a little titillating. 

Michele Baci  13:47  

It's very personal. 

Sophie Boudreau  13:48  

Okay, all right. Like it was nice to feel physically close to another person, even though they were scraping my cervix.

Michele Baci  13:58  

They're trying to help you.

Sophie Boudreau  13:59  

Yeah, she was nice. It was fine. But ya know, I really haven't seen, seen anyone 

Michele Baci  14:04  

Good for you for going to the doctor,  not avoiding it out of COVID fear.

Sophie Boudreau  14:09  

I feel like safest at the doctor, weirdly enough, I guess just because they're, at least here in LA like the doctors offices I've been to have been very stringent with their temperature checks. And their like, waiting rooms and my doctor's office is all, this is my dream come true. It's like all contactless so you can check it on your phone. And then you scan a QR code and then they text you where to go. And you don't even

Michele Baci  14:33  

I do love that about the COVID. The adaption we live in now with the kiosk everywhere, like you don't have to talk to a server for too long. You can just order off a kiosk

Sophie Boudreau  14:43  

Seriously. like not having to interact with people, as a person with social anxiety that centers around like making phone calls. Or like talking to people in service situations. Yeah, this is like my dream in some ways. in some small ways. In most ways, not my dream.

Michele Baci  15:03  

It's been mostly beneficial, socially,

Sophie Boudreau  15:05  

right. I'll take what I can get out of this year. So it's fine.

Michele Baci  15:09  

I feel you. Well, let's talk about your therapy experience. Are you in therapy right now?

Sophie Boudreau  15:14  

I am. Um, I...

Michele Baci  15:18  

Doing virtual? 

Sophie Boudreau  15:19  

I'm doing all Etherapy, which was a huge... I don't know, it's going better than expected for sure. But I was definitely really nervous about switching from my normal in-person therapy to seeing her over FaceTime. And now I think we're on I guess we're doing it on zoom now. But yeah, it's surprising to me like how effective therapy can still be when you're not seeing someone face to face. I think prior to COVID, I would have definitely never chosen to do it virtually. But I've been pleasantly surprised. And it's kind of nice to like, have my cat with me while I'm talking to my therapist, like 

Michele Baci  15:57  

a little comfort

Sophie Boudreau  15:57  

Yeah, I literally sit on the floor. So I'll take it. But I do miss kind of like the in-person element, though, like having a reason to get up really early on Tuesday. And like go in and do my thing and get my day started on that note, but, you know, I think, I think I'm lucky to still be able to have access to that during this time. 

Michele Baci  16:18  

Mm hmm. And do you still do it weekly like a regular routine?

Sophie Boudreau  16:22  

Yeah, I still do it every week. Pretty much same time as I've been doing it for the past, almost a year, I guess that I've been seeing her. So that's, that's like my one day of normalcy usually during the week, like it's the only day that I put on a bra. Like I put on makeup because I like my job doesn't really require me to be on zoom calls very often or anything. So seeing my therapist is like my one day a week that I clean myself

Michele Baci  16:52  

Why do you present yourself well for your therapist? So she like thinks you're doing good? Or...

Sophie Boudreau  16:57  

No, no. Like she, no, no, she knows that I am in deep agony most times that I talked to her but like, I don't know, I think it's just a good excuse to like force myself to do that. But no, she definitely. She, no, she does not. She has no like misconceptions about what to do.

Michele Baci  17:19  

After being in quarantine for eight months, I realized I only put on makeup or like try to look good when I see a new person like a friend for dinner. Or if I'm like going maybe if I'm going to the doctor or something I try to look more presentable. But then for Joseph, I'm like, you know, this is who I am

Sophie Boudreau  17:33  

oh my god, the lack of effort. Like my effort level, especially with Wilson was so low but my lack of effort has somehow gone even lower than it was pre pandemic like I'm the same way I do not wear pretty much any makeup because I always have a mask on which is great for people with adult acne because it's just

Michele Baci  17:53  

I don't see any adult acne

Sophie Boudreau  17:54  

most of my, no I'm wearing makeup, Michele!

I'm wearing this Maybelline super- not sponsored! Maybelline superstay full coverage- not sponsored, but should be. Um

Michele Baci  18:07  

Blemish free

Sophie Boudreau  18:08  

I, it's actually like, the cruel irony is that my adult acne has gotten better during COVID. And I'm not seeing anyone. So it's probably because I stopped wearing makeup. Like maybe the makeup was causing the breakouts, but whatever. But yeah, anyway,

Michele Baci  18:25  

Now you just have a little bit of shingles

Sophie Boudreau  18:27  

just it's on my thigh, it's on my thigh. My aunt, somebody, it's not my aunt, somebody I know got it on their face. And I was, that's worse. So I'll take the inner thigh shingles.

Michele Baci  18:37  

I know someone our age who had recently so it's not just you

Sophie Boudreau  18:40  

No, I know, I know actually, it was weird. Like when I first realized what it was. It was. It was like omnipresent. Everyone I knew was suddenly telling me stories of like they had shingles or my aunt and uncle both happened to have shingles, my friend had on her scalp at age 26. So I don't know, I feel like, how do we not all have shingles?

Michele Baci  19:03  

You opened the dialogue?

Sophie Boudreau  19:04  

I think like I might have been responsible for like a resurgence in like shingles awareness. Like I single-handedly. Um, but yeah

Michele Baci  19:15  

If there's not already a ribbon designated, you should design one.

Sophie Boudreau  19:18  

It's just like, like a bumpy. Like pus like, have some oil, some like bodily fluids coming out and it's red, and then it has some crusty bumps on it. And that's shingles awareness. 

Michele Baci  19:31  

Is this the ribbon you want to design? 

Sophie Boudreau  19:34  

Yeah, it's like a ribbon, but it's, it's like a ribbon made out of doll skin. Like those really realistic dolls that like perverts get, and you cut that into a ribbon shape and then dot it with shingles and then you wear that for shingles awareness. So

Michele Baci  19:49  

like if a sex doll is not doing it for you.

Sophie Boudreau  19:52  

Yeah. It's a shingles doll. It's a sex doll, but it's more realistic because it reflects the stressed out state of this world. Just saying

Michele Baci  20:00  

I would, I would, you know, definitely share that link on my social media.

Sophie Boudreau  20:05  

Thank you. I think I might do a Kickstarter. I'll keep you posted. 

Michele Baci  20:09  

Please do. And I don't want to, I don't want to go too deep into my own skin problems, but I have some undiagnosed eczema or whatever. So I think we're all too stressed. And, you know, I blame it on doing the dishes all the time. But who knows what it is?

Sophie Boudreau  20:23  

Is your eczema like on your hands or it's in a specific place?

Michele Baci  20:27  

Yeah, it's like, on the crevices in between my hands, like the web of my hand. 

Sophie Boudreau  20:32  

Oh, God. 

Michele Baci  20:32  

And I got cortisone? like that 

Sophie Boudreau  20:35  

hydro, hydrocortisone. I put that on my shingles too.

Michele Baci  20:38  

It's been helping.

Sophie Boudreau  20:38  

It does help. It's steroid cream! but apparently,

Michele Baci  20:42  

I feel like an old woman, but it's helping

Sophie Boudreau  20:43  

No, if you use it for too long, though. Apparently, it's not good for you. So don't go overboard with the steroid cream. I learned that in my deep, deep skin rash research that I did pre diagnosis,

Michele Baci  20:57  

I'll have to not get addicted to it. 

Sophie Boudreau  20:59  

Mm mm. Don't do it

Michele Baci  21:01  

so you have been with your therapist for a while. Have you ever had like a negative therapist, or someone who wasn't professional, who wasn't a good fit?

Sophie Boudreau  21:09  

Um, I was thinking about this question cause you mentioned that we might talk about it. And I've never had like a therapist who's inherently bad. But I've had good therapists who have done strange things on occasion, the one that comes to mind for me, I guess I've been in therapy for 10 years. I think I started when I was 18 or so. And my very first therapist. First of all, I felt bad for her because she was the first one. So she had to deal with like, just the initial, like, let's break through that wall of what's wrong with you. But there's one time I remember that I was just telling her about my week. And she started crying. I wasn't even crying. 

Michele Baci  21:48  

About your week? 

Sophie Boudreau  21:49  

Yeah, I'm like, is my life story that depressing to you, that you as a mental health professional are in tears just hearing about one week in my life. Like, what does that say about me?

Michele Baci  22:02  

Maybe you're just a really gifted storyteller?

Sophie Boudreau  22:04  

No, no. That is not what happened. Like I don't, I was talking, I was going through a really bad breakup at that time. I guess. I thought this must have been in like early college.

Michele Baci  22:16  

 And you were 18, probably everything's very, 

Sophie Boudreau  22:18  

Yeah. 

Michele Baci  22:19  

uh, heightened, very emotional. 

Sophie Boudreau  22:21  

But this was like a 45 year old woman. Why was she crying? Yeah, so that was probably like, the most uncomfortable moment because then I was like, comforting her about

Michele Baci  22:31  

Did she explain?

Sophie Boudreau  22:31  

my sadness. No, I, she was just like, oh, that's just really sad to think about. I'm like, lady.

I appreciate like, she's empathetic.

Michele Baci  22:42  

Maybe she hadn't done yoga recently, or she hadn't dealt with her own pain.

Sophie Boudreau  22:45  

Clearly not, but like I appreciated the empathy. I really genuinely did. But that was weird. And then I had a lady in, my college therapist who was actually wonderful and helped me a lot in college, but she, her office perpetually smelled like weed. And she claimed it wasn't for her. But her office was like in this apartment building and she just rented an apartment for her office. And every single session like the vent would turn on and just this like weed odor would rise in. And I found that unsettling. 

Michele Baci  23:18  

Was it in Michigan? 

Sophie Boudreau  23:19  

Yeah, this was Ann Arbor, in college.

Michele Baci  23:22  

Yeah, so it probably wasn't her cuz that's not legal in Michigan.

Sophie Boudreau  23:25  

It is legal. Well, the weird thing is, like my college. My college town was, prior to like, legalization was one of the most lax places in the state. So it could have totally been her, but she claims it wasn't. And then going off the smell thing...

Michele Baci  23:43  

The smell of marijuana is pervasive. So it could have been like her next door neighbor. 

Sophie Boudreau  23:46  

Yeah. It just, it wasn't, it was like, I didn't want to go and I didn't need that in my life. At that time. I was living in a dorm. I had enough like lingering pot odor around me at all times from living in a dorm. 

Michele Baci  24:01  

And you were straight edge 

Sophie Boudreau  24:02  

Did I need it? Yeah, I was very straight edge. And I did not need the smell of weed during therapy. And then I tried to get a new therapist over the summer. And that lady's office was over a popcorn shop. So her office smelled like popcorn.

Michele Baci  24:17  

This is very distracting for therapy.

Sophie Boudreau  24:19  

I'm, I'm, yeah, but to answer your question, I haven't ever had like an inherently bad therapist. It's just been like, Why are these things happening during an otherwise good therapy experience? But I've actually been pretty lucky with with the people that I've found. So I've only had to I think break up with one therapist and that was just because like it wasn't a good stylistic fit, I guess. But yeah, no one that's been like awful.

Michele Baci  24:46  

That's good. Have you stuck with therapy consistently for 10 years or have you taken some like long breaks?

Sophie Boudreau  24:54  

I took a break when I was in Malaysia for about a year just because like the logistics of doing therapy from abroad just seemed like too much

Michele Baci  25:03  

 on different time zones too. 

Sophie Boudreau  25:04  

Yeah, I. But other than that one year, I've pretty consistently done it there have been like, couple month periods here and there. But I kind of found that like when I would stop going, just because I felt like I was happier, then I would really miss it. And I would be like, Oh!

Michele Baci  25:23  

You do the quotes. happier in quotes 

Sophie Boudreau  25:25  

No, but it's like if something really positive happened in my life. And I felt like the immediate need for therapy wasn't there, I think I would stop going and then pretty quickly realized that having that consistency and like having that third party person to talk to even about the positive stuff was really helpful for me. I think that's like a pretty big misconception that you go to therapy, like when you're dealing with an immediate trauma, or you're working through one thing, and then like, I figured it out, and I don't have to go anymore. For me, it's definitely been in good times and in bad, like a very beneficial thing. So yeah, I've almost consistent- almost consecutively for 10 years. Gone other than that one year long break. So yeah.

Michele Baci  26:13  

And are you always able to share like what you want to share with your therapist? Are you more of like, open about everything, because I feel like I quit therapy because I feel like, oh, I've hit everything I want to share with this person. I don't want to go any deeper. I want to you know, Google stuff. 

Sophie Boudreau  26:27  

Yeah. 

Michele Baci  26:28  

And then maybe I'll start therapy again.

Sophie Boudreau  26:29  

Yeah, I mean,

definitely, like, I think with my current therapist, I tend to talk a lot more about like the day to day stuff. And that's partially because, like with COVID, there's just and 2020 there's like something new every single day, whereas like previously...

Michele Baci  26:47  

More like daily anxiety or things come up

Sophie Boudreau  26:48  

right, like I dealt with a lot of the really big things early on, like the first few years of therapy, and I don't feel like there's any. Okay, that's not true. I don't feel like there is many, like huge, significant problems that I haven't delved into with my therapist, but it's not that I don't feel comfortable doing so it's just the immediate pressing, like, annoyances and like, things I become outraged about on a daily basis feel so much more. Like imminent, and I need to talk to about them

Michele Baci  27:25  

Other things take priority, especially with COVID, I found it really helpful to have a therapist during COVID to be like, this is what I'm thinking. This is my current Doomsday talk. And she would quickly like, I mean, I was texting her on talkspace. So I would get like a message from her and she would always like talk me down immediately. Like, listen, the world feels like this. Everything is like this. It is not just you and I'm like, Oh, Okay, good.

Sophie Boudreau  27:48  

Have you found out like, 

Michele Baci  27:49  

Oh, I feel like so much better. 

Sophie Boudreau  27:50  

With like, COVID therapy. I feel like during this time, one of the things that's super troubling to me is that my therapist does not have like the reassuring words, because everyone has no idea when and if we're ever going to get out of this. And like, when I talk to her sometimes she's just like, yeah, I also feel deeply afraid. I'm like, okay, you're supposed to be helping me not feel...

Michele Baci  28:14  

Maybe she just is so comfortable with you. She's just being real with you.

Sophie Boudreau  28:18  

Oh, she, it's true to an extent because she and I definitely have like a client therapist relationship where she offers a lot of her own experiences, which I think is really valuable. But sometimes you just want to have like a professional person who can reassure you and no one, like it's not her fault. No one's capable of doing that, because so much of this is like unprecedented. But it's, it's sometimes like a couple of weeks ago, she was like, Hey, I just I didn't know if I should share this with you or not. But both of my parents got COVID this past week. 

Michele Baci  28:50  

What! 

Sophie Boudreau  28:51  

I was like, Alright, so I'm here for you to reassure me that 

Michele Baci  28:58  

Was that the start of your session? 

Sophie Boudreau  29:00  

Yeah, like that was how she opened the session. That was like this session. I was going to talk about how, as I do every week, how I'm scared that my like late 60s, mid to late 60s, parents are going to get COVID and she's like my 65 year old, immunocompromised parents both contracted COVID this week, but they're fine, which is good. I mean, that was helpful. But yeah

Michele Baci  29:23  

Like it's more like you guys are more comfortable, maybe a little bit more like you're on the way to being friends. Even though it's a professional relationship. Maybe she's just so comfortable with you. She's like, Hey, this is what's going on with my life. Maybe it would help you

Sophie Boudreau  29:37  

she, yeah, I feel like she does a good job of picking and choosing the like personal anecdotes to tell me. She's not out there telling me her own deep personal problems. But sometimes she does have things that are actually helpful and it's helpful to remember that like mental health professionals are human beings and have experienced these things. It makes it a lot less clinical for me. Which I guess is kind of a personal preference, but yeah, finding out about about the COVID situation, though did not help that particular week.

Michele Baci  30:09  

I can imagine it spun your session to something else.

Sophie Boudreau  30:12  

Yeah, it um. I then like then the rest of the week I worried about my therapist, parents, so not really what you want coming off of a therapy appointment,

Michele Baci  30:22  

kind of a reversal of like, what you're paying for.

Sophie Boudreau  30:25  

Exactly.

Michele Baci  30:27  

I feel like sometimes the reassurance and the calming words from my therapist, I would be like, oh, okay, but like, did she just pick this out of a book quotes?

Sophie Boudreau  30:35  

right.

Michele Baci  30:35  

Like I don't really know where she's getting this from. So it didn't always feel authentic. But it did help calm me down. So you get, you get a little bit of each, like the realness and the comfort.

Sophie Boudreau  30:44  

right. was yours like 100 percent text-based? Or did you...

Michele Baci  30:48  

this therapist, this therapist was, on talkspace, you can do video sessions, but I never did them with this therapist. We just texted. 

Sophie Boudreau  30:56  

okay

Michele Baci  30:56  

But she would, she would like really convey herself well over 

Sophie Boudreau  30:59  

right

Michele Baci  31:00  

messages. So I have a good sense of who she was.

Sophie Boudreau  31:02  

I think like, there's something reassuring about that, too, that you can go back and look at your conversation. Whereas in like talk therapy, a lot of times, you'll kind of move past something that was really helpful and forget by the end of the session. So I feel like for me, that would have been really helpful to be able to, like screenshot things that my therapist said and stuff, but I've never, I've never tried the texting thing. But it sounds like it actually was decent.

Michele Baci  31:26  

It's been really good for my writer's minds to be like, let me get it out on paper. And then let me get a message back, and then to be able to look over it and it never goes away. It's always there. So

Sophie Boudreau  31:36  

that's awesome. Yeah, I know a few friends who have done it that way. And I was never sure, like, if it felt like real, real therapy. But I think it's really cool that at this point in time, we have so many different options for how you can talk to someone. So

Michele Baci  31:51  

yeah, I feel like it's just, you know, if your comfort level is there, go for the messaging. And then it's what you make of it really like how much you're telling them. 

Sophie Boudreau  31:57  

right.

Michele Baci  32:00  

So I would just complain about my boyfriend and COVID and then after, like, so many months it's like, okay, I've run out of things to say about these subjects.

Sophie Boudreau  32:08  

I know. 

Michele Baci  32:09  

I'll pause it. 

Sophie Boudreau  32:09  

Yeah, I think, I think like, with my therapist, I'm just lucky to have like a really good rapport with her. Because I'm sure with someone who I didn't click with as much, it would just start to be like, she would be annoyed from hearing me talk about the same stresses every week. And then she would like gently imply that I need to stop coming to her or something I don't know. But. No, I haven't. Like, I'm surprised that I haven't reached that point yet where I feel like I'm... In the past, when I have stopped therapy temporarily, it's always been like, I can feel that I'm reaching for something to talk about during the session. And I think that's the indicator that like, I should stop. But I haven't gotten there with her yet. So I don't know, maybe it's just, there's just an abundance of things to be deeply depressed and anxious about in 2020. So it's a good time to be a therapist, maybe. 

Michele Baci  33:03  

For sure. I think I just, I just plainly, like have run out of time to do therapy, like I just I'm not sleeping enough. So I like had to cut shit out of my life

Sophie Boudreau  33:11  

So you chose, you chose the one thing that's supposed to be helping you create more balance and mental wellness. That's the thing you chose to cut out of your life.

Michele Baci  33:21  

My twisted analysis is, Oh, I have a therapy podcast and I have my talkspace messages saved. So if need be, I could always restart my membership. But for now I'm just going rogue,

Sophie Boudreau  33:33  

you know, you got to do what you got to do. You got to do it. So I support you in that choice, Michele.

Michele Baci  33:39  

And then if I have deep depression and anxiety, I can maybe just you know, messege your therapist

Sophie Boudreau  33:44  

You can always just like text me and I'll tell you what she said that week, or sometimes, you know, I tweet a lot about my feeling. So maybe you can just read through my Twitter feed and take something from that somehow. Mostly, probably disgust is the key emotion that people get when reading my Twitter, but you know,

Michele Baci  34:05  

you're a toilet humorist

Sophie Boudreau  34:06  

You know what, Michele? I heard a little bit of judgment in your voice there. And I would really appreciate it if you took that back. Because I can hang up at any time.

Michele Baci  34:16  

It's not my go-to humor that I write about. It's your kind of humor. 

Sophie Boudreau  34:21  

Okay, 

Michele Baci  34:21  

So I appreciate that you can do it so well.

Sophie Boudreau  34:23  

The thing that's weird though, is you will go...

Michele Baci  34:25  

No judgement, no judgement

Sophie Boudreau  34:26  

No, you will go, I have witnessed you! You will go onstage at an open mic and talk about masturbation. I would never, like 

Michele Baci  34:34  

I would never. 

Sophie Boudreau  34:35  

I would never do that.

Michele Baci  34:37  

I only talk about shits in Old Navy.

Sophie Boudreau  34:39  

that's true. I draw the line. At... 

Michele Baci  34:42  

Diarrehea

Sophie Boudreau  34:43  

personal pleasure! I draw the line at personal pleasure. I do not draw the line at personal... excretions, that's a different thing.

Michele Baci  34:52  

I think I'm more sex positive than I am fecal positive

Sophie Boudreau  34:56  

Poop positive. Yeah. 

I'm sex positive. I just like, the idea of my loved ones. And like family, the idea of my parents hearing me talk about that, which now they probably will if they listen to this podcast, but, that deeply. Like, I'm so uncomfortable with it. I'll talk about poop all day, but that's no. I draw the line at vibrators.

Michele Baci  35:16  

Right, is it? Are you from a religious background? Is that why?

Sophie Boudreau  35:19  

No, not at all. I mean, technically my family was Catholic growing up, but my hometown...

Michele Baci  35:26  

A technicality?

Sophie Boudreau  35:27  

Yeah. I mean, like, my parents are not actively ultra religious or anything. No, I mean, they're very progressive, liberal people. And it's just, I don't know, it's just like, I don't want to talk. I thought, my mom and I, like have talked about sex before, but like, it's my dad. I don't, no. I don't want. I just don't need that to be up there.

Michele Baci  35:48  

That's how I am with my parents, too. Like, we've never talked about sex. My mom wrote me a letter as my like, birds and bees talk. 

Sophie Boudreau  35:55  

Oh, God. 

Michele Baci  35:56  

Um, but yeah, we're, I was raised Catholic, we're very much like, "keep it inside." Don't talk about this stuff.

Sophie Boudreau  36:04  

Keep it inside.

Michele Baci  36:05  

All I can do is write a masturbation joke, and you know, hope it never makes it to Netflix.

Sophie Boudreau  36:10  

You know, I thought that was a very good joke. Like, it's not a joke that I would ever tell. But that's the joy of having friends who do comedy is like, you can admire them for their bravery in ways that you would never have. So

Michele Baci  36:22  

yeah, in their early career when no one but their friends are listening 

Sophie Boudreau  36:25  

and then some day, 

Michele Baci  36:26  

and you can do whatever

Sophie Boudreau  36:26  

it gets dug up, and you get put on blast, and it ruins you. 

Michele Baci  36:32  

Or it makes you a hero. 

Sophie Boudreau  36:33  

it you know, we'll just have to see what happens. Give it, give it 20 years. No, I think you'll be way, way successful way before 20 years, like 20 years was a major overstatement. But that's the point at which people would start like trying to break you down and dig into your past. So I do have to go through my my Twitter feed sometimes, and I'll look up like a key word that could even remotely be misconstrued as, like something offensive, like because I've had Twitter for 10 years. So I'll go back to like, 2000, I don't know 2010. I guess I've had it for more than that. Because I had it in 2009.

Michele Baci  37:07  

You're just combing through your own Twitter feed?

Sophie Boudreau  37:08  

Yeah, I'll look at it. And I'll be like, I know this isn't like an inherently offensive thing that I said, but it could be misconstrued, like I'm just thinking about the future cancellations

Michele Baci  37:21  

Who do you think's gonna cancel you?

Sophie Boudreau  37:23  

I don't know. I know I'm not relevant. Like I know no one is looking at it, I'm just saying

Michele Baci  37:27  

the only people getting canceled are like uh, A-grade comedians or like

Sophie Boudreau  37:33  

Okay, I know.

Michele Baci  37:36  

And SNL cast members. not to insult you. I'm just saying no one we know...

Sophie Boudreau  37:38  

No, I agree with you. I just have this like deep fear. I don't know. I care a lot about people thinking that I'm a nice and good person. Like that's like a huge thing for me like people perceiving me as like an unkind or like hurt, mean person is like my number one thing that bothers me and I know like, in being a person who does comedic endeavors, I don't like to say comedian, because I don't think I qualifify as that. But like, there are definitely things that can be misconstrued as like unkind or mean or judgy. And there's like a fine line between it being very clear that I'm joking. And me actually coming across as mean so I just like, don't want anyone to ever think that I'm like an actual hateful person. So I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's for myself. So I have the peace of mind that those things don't exist in the world. But thankfully, I've never tweeted, I've never posted anything racist. So, that I know of.

Michele Baci  38:39  

I mean, even if you do, people make mistakes, like we're all learning, our society is thankfully evolving kind of rapidly, somewhat, depending on where you're, you know, getting your information from, but I think people are learning at a much faster rate, especially in lockdown. So even if you say something that could be construed as racist, you're like, oh, you could apologize for it. 

Sophie Boudreau  39:01  

Right.

Michele Baci  39:01  

As long as you apologize and own up to it. There's no reason to cancel someone.

Sophie Boudreau  39:04  

Yeah, I guess there are like things probably that all of us look back at even in 2008, 2009 that we would just absolutely never say and even watching some of my favorite TV shows from that era. Like, I love the office. But there are some things on there that I watch it now and I'm like, Oh my God, if that were on a show today, I would be, I wouldn't. I would not condone it, so it's, it's very interesting. 

Michele Baci  39:30  

It could be a little sexist. I feel like I haven't watched it recently enough to know but I did watch Always Sunny recently, and I couldn't even sit through it. I was like, This is terrible

Sophie Boudreau  39:40  

It's so hard with 

Always Sunny because like, there is that self awareness and you like they're obviously going for like a satirical vibe. But sometimes even that is hard to watch.

Michele Baci  39:51  

Like the character of Dee, the only woman on the show.

Sophie Boudreau  39:54  

Oh my god, I know

Michele Baci  39:55  

I can't sit here and watch Dee like be a piece of human trash. 

Sophie Boudreau  39:58  

Yeah, yeah. It's tough. For sure, and the Office, like it's all very subtle stuff that you kind of watch now and you're like, Oh, it's just, it's just casual misogyny, like casual racism, that was acceptable. I mean, it was never acceptable. But it was deemed acceptable by, I guess, TV writers at that point in time. It's so recent

Michele Baci  40:19  

by the comedy world. Yes, with, with comedy, you're always trying to push the envelope. And you're always trying to, like, say these edgy things that no one else has said yet. So it's, when I first started, stand up. And when I first like, tried to write jokes in the beginning, I like would edge more racist or stereotypical or misogynist, because that's what people were laughing at. And then after, like, the first few times I tried it, I was like, This is not my personality. This is like the room's personality that I'm assuming they want to hear.

Sophie Boudreau  40:49  

And it's not funny. 

Michele Baci  40:50  

And I stopped

Sophie Boudreau  40:50  

Like, I just, if I am performing stand up for an audience that would think a racist or sexist joke was funny. Like, I don't want to be performing for that audience anyway. So

Michele Baci  41:03  

No. Like, if you're trying to get cheap laughs at some generic outdoor comedy show, or whatever, if you're trying to please everyone in the audience, maybe it'll work. But it's not gonna last more than a couple years, because society's gonna condemn you or cancel you. 

Sophie Boudreau  41:16  

Well, then also, you have to live with the fact that you sold outthat much that you were willing, if you're a person who considers yourself like progressive in any way that you went for the cheap laughs like that. And then, you know, that's the kind of stuff that comes back to haunt people. And I don't have a whole lot of sympathy, because you can choose at any time to not be a racist, sexist, transphobic piece of trash. But we'll see. 

Michele Baci  41:41  

I guess you have to speak your truth. And if you're racist and transphobic, the truth will come to light. 

Sophie Boudreau  41:46  

That's fair. Yeah. I mean, at least people tell us about themselves. Before we have to find out like down the road, just like tell me who you are right now. Like, okay, I know that you are those things, and I will stop following you.

Michele Baci  42:03  

So when you go through your Twitter feed, kind of, you're almost like censoring yourself, you're almost trying to find something that could be construed as negative. Do you delete stuff? Or do you like, just beat yourself up about it?

Sophie Boudreau  42:19  

I mean, it's rare that I like find something. First of all, this makes it sound like I spend all my days just like scrolling through my own Twitter feed. Like a couple of times, I have decided to look back at old tweets and like, like, look up certain keywords to see what I was talking about in 2011, or whatever

Michele Baci  42:39  

We're all terrible people in high school. We're all just, like, trying to find our identities and try to feel like we belong.

Sophie Boudreau  42:44  

It's terrible to be a person who's been on social media since like, a time in their life when they were very ignorant. And like, I don't know, I hate that there is record of some of the things that I did in 2008, like publicly available to people. And so I guess when I'm looking back at that, I'm like, trying to understand what it was that I thought then and how I've changed and, but I just like I don't ever want something that I posted even so long ago to come up and hurt someone. Currently, I guess so. I don't know. I don't know. I have only done this a few times where I've really delved into my old posts, but like today, I'll look at my memories on Facebook. And it's like, 12 years ago, I post some cryptic thing that I would totally make fun of someone for posting today. And like, Who is that person? Like, what? Why?

Michele Baci  43:40  

It was 12 years ago? Like 12 years have gone by.

Sophie Boudreau  43:43  

I know, but it doesn't seem that long, like 2008, I feel like it was just 2008

Michele Baci  43:49  

No, it wasn't!

2008, I graduated high school.

Sophie Boudreau  43:52  

I know, I know. 

Michele Baci  43:53  

That was forever ago.

Sophie Boudreau  43:54  

Oh, it's when you look at it in terms of like what you were doing in your developmental stages at that time? Like, Yes, it seems like forever ago but then thinking about years. It's the year two, like the number 2008 feels very recent to me, but I know I was, I was a junior in high school. 

Michele Baci  44:12  

I think you're being much too critical of yourself, I would say 

Sophie Boudreau  44:15  

why do you think I'm in therapy, Michele?

Michele Baci  44:17  

You should let a little bit of it go. I mean, when you think of like the people who are getting canceled they're mostly being canceled for being like pervert, perverts or doing terrible like sex acts like Louie CK in front of unwilling participants, you know, like people who kind of made other people get into really traumatic situations.

Sophie Boudreau  44:38  

Right.

Michele Baci  44:39  

 I don't think you're doing anything.

Sophie Boudreau  44:40  

Oh, I know. I know. 

Michele Baci  44:41  

Worthy of being canceled.

Sophie Boudreau  44:43  

I don't believe that I'm worthy of being cancelled. First of all... 

Michele Baci  44:45  

You're probably like, posting some emo song, song lyric and you're like, Oh, I was too emo in 2008.

Sophie Boudreau  44:50  

Right. I, that's, that is incredibly accurate. The worst thing to look back at is Tumblr, which was like 

Michele Baci  44:58  

I never got into Tumblr. 

Sophie Boudreau  44:59  

Oh my god.

Michele Baci  45:00  

 I actually have a friend who met her boyfriend on Tumblr, so I know it got personal.

Sophie Boudreau  45:04  

It. Um, it was like, I don't know what it was about Tumblr, but it called me to just like, write sad, horrible, like sad poetry and I'm out there at like age 19 sharing 

Michele Baci  45:16  

You wrote poetry?

Sophie Boudreau  45:17  

Michele, I don't want to talk about, we're not here to talk about my poetry. Okay? 

Michele Baci  45:21  

I wrote poetry. We won't talk about it. 

Sophie Boudreau  45:23  

Wait, yeah, I mean

Michele Baci  45:25  

Bury that shit

Sophie Boudreau  45:26  

my Tumblr was much, it was like, I used it basically to cope with this, like horrible, very intense, drawn out breakup that I went through of like a long term relationship. But I just overshared 

Michele Baci  45:38  

That the world had to know about it?

Sophie Boudreau  45:40  

Everyone, like my, my heartbreak was the worst heartbreak that had ever existed. And every like, depressing thing that came across my Tumblr, like, it was like a girl sitting in the rain, like crying. And then it would say, at what age did you lose your humanity? And I'm like, oh, that resonates with me. that resonates. that resonates. I'm 19. I have seen the world. I've lost my humanity because of this one breakup. So Tumbler's a dark 

Michele Baci  46:07  

I'll ask you, I'll ask you one question about it. Did you have people in your actual social circle reading these poems and reaching out?

Sophie Boudreau  46:15  

Yes, yes. That is what is so humiliating about it? No, not they weren't reaching out. That was what was worse is that I knew people that I knew in real life, were seeing this stuff. And then just like pretending they didn't see it. And then, like, we would interact in person, and I knew full well they read my like, sad poem. But just like didn't say anything, I don't know. Like it'd be better if they had reached out. Because I was begging for people to reach out basically, I wanted them to be like, Oh, you've been so wronged. You have been so wronged.

Michele Baci  46:45  

You were like begging for connection.

Sophie Boudreau  46:46  

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, to be fair, like one of my 

Michele Baci  46:50  

There's nothing wrong with that. 

Sophie Boudreau  46:51  

No, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's just like so cringy to look back at as like an almost 30 year old person. And it's just, but.

Michele Baci  47:02  

That's fair

Sophie Boudreau  47:02  

Tumblr wasn't all bad.

Michele Baci  47:04  

I have poetry on my comedy Instagram, cuz I started it for poetry way back when

Sophie Boudreau  47:08  

oh my god, I saw that. I stalked that. I did.

Michele Baci  47:11  

I'm not ashamed. 

Sophie Boudreau  47:12  

It was good! 

Michele Baci  47:12  

I don't think it was anything too bad.

Sophie Boudreau  47:14  

Yeah, you just gotta check. Like, I feel like mostly what I'm checking for isn't even like offensive things, but cringy things. Maybe that's a more appropriate explanation of me like looking back at my own stuff.

Michele Baci  47:27  

It is crazy. When I think about like, who I wrote the poems about though. I'm like, that person had no impact on my long term life. 

Sophie Boudreau  47:33  

I know. 

Michele Baci  47:33  

Definitely not. Short term, dating app flings or whatever. And, you know, a great poem came out of it, but then it was just me being very emotional. 

Sophie Boudreau  47:42  

Yeah. 

Michele Baci  47:42  

About this person who meant very little to me.

Sophie Boudreau  47:45  

Rick from Tinder. 

Michele Baci  47:47  

Yeah

Sophie Boudreau  47:47  

Denise from, from. What's that one? 

Michele Baci  47:51  

The Office?

Sophie Boudreau  47:51  

What's that one that I met that? Oh, OK Cupid. Ooof.

Michele Baci  47:55  

Mm hm.

Sophie Boudreau  47:56  

Yeah, no, I definitely have been there. Definitely. There were some like, subtweets and some Tumblr posts about guys that I like, dated for a week and then once again, I have been wronged. Oh, I can't, it's so cringy

Michele Baci  48:12  

I used to love using Twitter and Facebook to that extent as like brief one sentence journal entries like oh, here's a...

Sophie Boudreau  48:20  

*Gasp* Is someone at your door?

Oh my god. 

Michele Baci  48:23  

No, I think something fell in the sink.

Sophie Boudreau  48:25  

Oh my god.

Michele Baci  48:25  

Those are my almonds. Those are my almonds in the pantry.

Sophie Boudreau  48:28  

I'm sorry, what, your almonds came to life? 

Michele Baci  48:30  

They're rattling around. Our pantry is disorganized.

Sophie Boudreau  48:32  

Do you have rats? Be honest with me.

Michele Baci  48:35  

No, it's just, my, everything's, it's set up like an earthquake, but no earthquake has taken place.

Sophie Boudreau  48:41  

Well, you know, it. It is a couple days after Halloween, could be a ghoul. How do we know? 

Michele Baci  48:48  

Could be. I'll have to check the almonds later.

Sophie Boudreau  48:50  

There's always the chance of a ghoul. That's what my mom, my mom always said that growing up, just always be on the lookout for a ghoul.

Michele Baci  48:55  

Just scaring you from the beginning.

Sophie Boudreau  48:59  

Mm hmm. Exactly.

Michele Baci  49:02  

So I think we delved into social media a little bit. What's your, what's your like, go to social media app?

Sophie Boudreau  49:12  

Ah, it used to be Twitter. But it's definitely got, its become Instagram more recently. But I was very late to the Instagram game. I was like, morally opposed to Instagram in college. I just thought it was. I don't know. It didn't make sense to me. Like, okay, why would I go on this app just for photos. When I could just go on Facebook and people could post their pictures on there. But I joined it like my senior year of college and then they've added so much to it now that it is like a multimedia. There's videos, there's memes. There's everything on there. So definitely Instagram. 

Michele Baci  49:49  

It's too much.

Sophie Boudreau  49:49  

Yeah, Instagram is like the one that I will go on, scroll through, close and then immediately reopen like thinking that it was all this new content. It's just gonna be there, but. No, it used to be Twitter, like Twitter would be the one that I would really waste time on. But actually, with the help of my therapist, I have limited my Twitter time for my own sanity. Because I

Michele Baci  50:12  

I am so proud of you, so jealous.

Sophie Boudreau  50:15  

It's hard. It's so hard. I was talking to my brother about this. And he said the same thing. Like, I have never gone on Twitter and then felt better after closing the app. And at least in the last couple years, I don't think I've ever gone on there. And it's had a positive impact on me. So, once I kind of made that connection, I, I kind of had to force myself to limit it and just like, I'll go on to post a tweet if I have an idea for a tweet, but I try not to just like mindlessly scroll as much.

Michele Baci  50:46  

That's healthy. Because I think in the Trump administration, Twitter has been severely depressing. But if I can stay on it for like, 10 minutes, like a very short span of time, maybe I find a link to something educational, like an article. Yeah, that's, that's the perfect amount of time on Twitter, but it's really hard to cut myself off.

Sophie Boudreau  51:03  

Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, I think with any form of social media, there is a lot of positivity, but it's just the self control element of being like, at what point does this not make me feel good anymore, and being able to like, pinpoint that and then successfully cut yourself off. I think that's what most of us struggle with. Because you can find positivity on almost any, any of these apps, but and I'm not even like a person, I do not think that everything needs to be positive. But there's an extent to which you can expose yourself to like the reality of the world without losing your mind. And then there's a point at which you're just torturing yourself. So I've been working on trying to find that point for myself, like three COVID vaccine update articles a day. I get the science, I get the update. 

Michele Baci  51:52  

What? Three?

Sophie Boudreau  51:53  

I yeah, I mean, it depends on the day. 

Michele Baci  51:56  

About the vaccine? They're all about the vaccine?

Sophie Boudreau  51:58  

Okay, here's the thing, I go on this subreddit, I go on this, this COVID subreddit, and you can filter it by good news only. 

Michele Baci  52:05  

What?!

Sophie Boudreau  52:06  

And it's actually helpful because I would never do that with any other topic. But with COVID. Like, I know how bad it is, I am so, so deep, keenly and deeply aware of like the badness of it. But being able to filter it by anything like positive, related to covid just helps me like, stay, stay somewhat sane. But I do like to check the vaccine updates, because for me having like that logical science-based information, even if they're telling me it's going to be months, at least I have some kind of like light at the end of the tunnel. So

Michele Baci  52:43  

now I have a visual of you going on to Reddit and look, being like "my three vaccine articles a day!" 

Sophie Boudreau  52:48  

I've reached my limit!

Michele Baci  52:50  

your first thing you do in the morning with your tea

Sophie Boudreau  52:53  

I actually do it, the problem is, I do before bed, and then I get really

Michele Baci  52:57  

Before bed?

Sophie Boudreau  52:57  

Yeah, it's not good. I, my therapist told me last week that I need to actively work on not associating my bed with anxiety. Because I do, like that's my time that I, it's like my downtime. And that's my Doom scrolling time. And I go on a Doom scroll. And then I try to sleep and I'm like, why am I having nightmares about COVID? But

Michele Baci  53:20  

yeah, and it's also a good way just to kill time. So if you're not ready to go to sleep yet, you're like, oh, let me just check 

Sophie Boudreau  53:26  

right

Michele Baci  53:26  

 social media for way too long. 

Sophie Boudreau  53:28  

And then I know, it's it's so hard 

Michele Baci  53:30  

you toss and turn

Sophie Boudreau  53:31  

I have tried during, like the last few months to actually switch back to reading before bed. But, man, it's hard. It's really hard not to go on 

Michele Baci  53:41  

It's so much better for you to read before bed

It makes you tired. 

Sophie Boudreau  53:45  

I know!

Michele Baci  53:46  

you get ingrained some knowledge or some like good story in your head. 

Sophie Boudreau  53:50  

And I always feel better the next morning, like I sleep better,

I feel good about like, like you said, expanding my brain in some sort of meaningful way. But when you have the phone right there, and there's just so much happening in the world, it feels like you have to immerse yourself in that for some period of time when really that's like a self-imposed. thing. So I don't know,

Michele Baci  54:12  

Like, it's good to stay informed somewhat. But if you don't check, if you don't check the internet for a day, nothing that bad's gonna happen.

Sophie Boudreau  54:19  

Like you are not going to die if you don't 

Michele Baci  54:21  

someone's gonna text you

Sophie Boudreau  54:22  

right. That's what I was, I was thinking, somebody posted something today about like, election anxiety and how tomorrow. Think about like when you're about to pick up your phone and look at the polls, do you really need to do that in that moment, trying to be mindful about it? And I thought about it for a second. I'm like, yeah, if, if there's any major development, someone's going to text me about it. Like I could very well not go on my phone all day tomorrow, and I would still find out the information I needed about the election, but God knows, I will not. I won't do that. Like, I don't have that.

Michele Baci  54:55  

We're recording this on Monday, the second. 

Sophie Boudreau  54:57  

Oh, yeah,

Michele Baci  54:57  

So the election is tomorrow. 

Sophie Boudreau  54:58  

This could be the last time that Michele and I are ever seen alive, so. 

Michele Baci  55:04  

I know, who knows what the future holds? 

Sophie Boudreau  55:06  

Who knows? I think it's like if I don't even like to say this, but if you know who wins, we will immediately just be swept to a place where we'll be given our handmaid costumes and we will be taken away on some sort of... truck

Michele Baci  55:21  

Hey. I have watched enough. Enough of The Handmaid's Tale to know survival skills. 

Sophie Boudreau  55:25  

That's true. Me too.

Michele Baci  55:26  

I've got it in me. I'm ready for it. Bring it on.

Sophie Boudreau  55:29  

But how many, how many of your friend's hands are you willing to see cut off in the pursuit of justice, Michele?

Michele Baci  55:35  

Um, not that many.

Sophie Boudreau  55:37  

I like, I can sacrifice a few. But yeah, the list of people whose hands I would sacrifice. Very small, though. We'll see.

Michele Baci  55:47  

And I'm not wagering any bets. I'm not looking at the polls. I thought about going on 538 today,

Sophie Boudreau  55:53  

don't do it. I did it. I did it earlier today. And the top article was like, Oh, just a reminder from Nate Silver that Trump could still win. Well, I don't need that kind of negativity today. I am already like mentally preparing myself to be very depressed tomorrow. So I just, why, why make it worse?

Michele Baci  56:15  

I recommend self-medicating the perfect amount and not watching the news at all. 

Sophie Boudreau  56:20  

Yeah

Michele Baci  56:20  

unless you have to, like maybe watching the actual election as it's going down. I'll watch a little bit. But I don't want to watch the pre, the preamble. I don't want to check any polls,

Sophie Boudreau  56:29  

right. The thing is, like, after you've already voted, you have done everything in your power to help if you donated, made calls, whatever. But like on the day of the election, your influence is dead, and you just have to wait, like you've done what you can do.

Michele Baci  56:46  

I'm just having flashbacks to 2016. 

Sophie Boudreau  56:48  

I know

Michele Baci  56:49  

I was like shit faced at a bar. Like I, you know, it didn't help anyone to do that. So 

Sophie Boudreau  56:56  

yeah

Michele Baci  56:56  

This year, I'm like, have a glass of wine, turn off the election if it's getting to be too much. And just, you know, limit it?

Sophie Boudreau  57:01  

Yeah, I mean, I think for a lot of people and my therapist was actually, we were talking about this last week, it is very much like PTSD-esque, because of just how bad that night was. So it's really important, I think, to acknowledge that, like, yes, it's just politics, but it also has genuinely affected so much of our mental health. And for a lot of us, like, thinking back to that night, it's not, not something we've done by choice over the last four years and not something that's pleasant, and it's certainly a day to take care of yourself. And like I, you know, you hear it all the time. But self-care is so important. I think, like with this election, in particular,

Michele Baci  57:46  

and also staying present and realizing, no matter what happens, like, you know, you're not gonna die, it's gonna be fine

Sophie Boudreau  57:54  

well, that's what, white people can say that. But I mean, that's what kills me too, is like, I also know at the same time, I know, there are a lot of people, that will not be okay, if the election goes a certain way. And 

Michele Baci  58:07  

yeah

Sophie Boudreau  58:08  

just the magnitude of that is very hard to process. And, oh, it's okay. Maybe by the time this episode comes out, we'll all be like, feeling some sense of hope. It's possible

Michele Baci  58:22  

But even like, you have to take the small victories because we're, by voting, we're doing something, by electing people in local elections, we're doing something. So regardless of the presidential outcome, nothing is hopeless. That's what I'm trying to say.

Sophie Boudreau  58:38  

Is it though? is anything, is there hope? 

Michele Baci  58:41  

I have to believe that

Sophie Boudreau  58:42  

I know, I know, I'm trying, I'm trying. Yeah

Michele Baci  58:45  

like when when Trump did get elected in 2016, I was working as a nanny, and the next day, I had to babysit like a one or two year old, and that child knew nothing about the world or what was going on and just watching her walk around. I was like, okay, at least at least there's a child out there. 

Sophie Boudreau  59:01  

Right. 

Michele Baci  59:01  

Like, she's not being affected by this.

Sophie Boudreau  59:04  

She doesn't know that she's being affected by it. That's what the difference was.

Michele Baci  59:08  

She won't know for many, many years.

Sophie Boudreau  59:10  

Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's, it's like the ultimate test in accepting that you've done what you can, so. Except for those who haven't done what they can

Michele Baci  59:24  

I signed up to phone bank tomorrow, I made sure people close to me have voted. I feel like I've really done what I could. 

Sophie Boudreau  59:32  

Right

Michele Baci  59:33  

I don't have any regrets.

Sophie Boudreau  59:34  

You don't have to look back and be like, should I have made that one phone call? One more phone call? So we'll see. I don't know. I'm really hoping that. You know, it would just like I said, I'm not under any illusion that Joe Biden being elected is going to magically fix this country, but like, at least there would be some semblance of normalcy and some feeling that like an adult human being was going to soon be in charge.

Michele Baci  1:00:03  

It would be nice.

Sophie Boudreau  1:00:03  

That's all I ask

Michele Baci  1:00:05  

working to fight climate change and you know, giving a shit about people and the country. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:00:10  

Yeah, I 

Michele Baci  1:00:11  

We'll see. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:00:12  

I don't know

Michele Baci  1:00:12  

let me ask you how, how do you feel about the political spin on social media, especially since like Black Lives Matter blew up? And everyone's been much more political in their Instagram stories or in general, versus people I never knew had opinions about this, like,

Sophie Boudreau  1:00:30  

yeah

Michele Baci  1:00:31  

pre, pre COVID.

Sophie Boudreau  1:00:32  

Um, I mean, first of all, I definitely, I am one of those people who has, I feel like I've always been relatively political on social media. But yeah, definitely, personally and among most people, I know, it's been a huge uptick.

Michele Baci  1:00:47  

I feel intimidated looking at your posts,

Sophie Boudreau  1:00:49  

oh, my God, me?!

Michele Baci  1:00:50  

I'm always like, am I doing the wrong thing? 

Sophie Boudreau  1:00:52  

No, no, no, no, no 

Michele Baci  1:00:53  

by going outside?

Sophie Boudreau  1:00:54  

That. See, I feel, that, I feel bad about because, oh, it's, it's so hard. Because though like my, like, COVID my very

Michele Baci  1:01:03  

You make me think about things, which is good. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:01:05  

I don't want people thinking because of my posts. That's not the intent. Um, now I feel so bad about about that sometimes. Because like, most of my very, like militant COVID posts are coming from a place of like, personal fear and anxiety. And it's like, the only thing I can do is to like express that somewhere. But that I know that people will look at that and feel like directly judged. But I also am a person who understands that things are not black and white. And I, I've had conversations with friends about this recently, like, if my friends are meeting up in a backyard, and I know that they're all being safe. And I know that they're all making the choice that feels right for them. Like, that's their, that's their choice. And like, maybe I personally wouldn't partake, and if I were invited, but like, I don't want people to feel like such harsh judgment for my post that they feel guilty like, I bet not. 

Michele Baci  1:02:00  

I mean, from reading your Instagram stories. I know you're mostly going after like, conservatives in Michigan

Sophie Boudreau  1:02:05  

Oh my god. Yeah. 

Michele Baci  1:02:06  

You're taking the virus seriously

Sophie Boudreau  1:02:08  

The people, like there's such a huge difference between having like a tiny backyard gathering with masks on. And then people I see who are just hosting weddings with, like, 300 people, totally normal. Those are the people that like my rage is directed toward for sure. Just because it's horrible. 

Michele Baci  1:02:25  

It's good. You have that rage. And you're

I think it's good to, you know, post some of it because I almost went to a Halloween party with Joseph, he set up the lighting for this, like, Burning Man themed party where he programmed a light up dragon and I wanted to go see it. And I was like, Okay, that sounds cool. I like assume it's maybe 20 people, relatively outdoors. And then I get the details. And it's like, 50 to 70 people indoors

Sophie Boudreau  1:02:48  

Oh, that's scary. 

Michele Baci  1:02:50  

And I didn't want to bail on it or insult him. So I like thought about it. I was like, I'm talking to Sophie soon. She'd judge me if I went to this party, and I texted my friend group about it. And they're like, no, it's probably not gonna kill you. But it's not a good look. And it's like, yeah, it's not a good look.

Sophie Boudreau  1:03:06  

Yeah, I mean, it probably wasn't gonna kill you. But also, I guess you have to think about like, worst case scenario, my brain. My thing is just like, I always go right to the worst case scenario. So my thought is like, if somehow I give this virus to like, my mom or something, and something happens to her, and then I'm like, where did I get it? And it was at a Halloween party. Am I going to feel like that Halloween party was worth that? But then there's also things where, like, I understand that people's mental health is suffering so much,like my friends who live alone and stuff. How could I ever expect them to just see no one? So it's not black and white? And I do

Michele Baci  1:03:46  

Yeah, well, once I learned how many people were there and it's indoors. I was like, I really don't want to do this because it's not worth going to a Halloween party to contract Coronavirus or get someone else sick

Sophie Boudreau  1:03:55  

right? It's not like, it's not like it was Oh, your first chance to see your best friends or something. You know, it was people you didn't really know very well.

Michele Baci  1:04:05  

Me and my boyfriend meeting up with strangers who he kind of knows. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:04:08  

Yeah

Michele Baci  1:04:09  

Then I'm not gonna make new connections with my mask on at a party

Sophie Boudreau  1:04:13  

right?

Michele Baci  1:04:14  

Probably not

Sophie Boudreau  1:04:14  

Yes, seriously? Where, did they wear masks at the party? At least? 

Michele Baci  1:04:18  

I don't know. We didn't go. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:04:19  

You didn't see pictures or anything?

Michele Baci  1:04:21  

Like I would assume they're drinking the whole time

Sophie Boudreau  1:04:23  

that's the thing. It's like, as soon as you get drunk, you're not going to keep your, you're not going to social distance. So

Michele Baci  1:04:28  

No

Sophie Boudreau  1:04:29  

that's what troubles me, I guess. But I don't know. I think about people like one of my really good friends whose mom has, has been on chemo this entire time. And I don't know, I think like it depends on the people in your life that you have that you have to think how might this action somehow affect them like that? A lot of people just seem to completely lack the ability to have empathy for people unless it's like their own mom or themselves. And yeah 

Michele Baci  1:04:59  

or they're, you know, listening to Donald Trump who doesn't believe in the virus.

Sophie Boudreau  1:05:01  

Yeah, who's giving them this? Yeah. And it's I think, for me a lot of the anger that probably comes across and some of the stuff I post about it comes from being from a very conservative town in West Michigan, where it's just constant like Christian rhetoric in my face. And then when it comes to something like this, where they actually have a chance to act in a way that I think, my understanding of Jesus, how I think he would act, which is to try and sacrifice for the greater good and keep people healthy, then these are the people who I'm seeing, denying everything Dr. Fauci says, not wearing masks. And just like the hypocrisy of conservative Christians is where a lot of my anger comes from.

Michele Baci  1:05:48  

I don't understand why we have to remove science. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:05:51  

And so, yeah

Michele Baci  1:05:52  

From the Bible, like why can't we just assume that Jesus would be down with science? I'm sure he was a smart guy.

Sophie Boudreau  1:05:57  

Yeah. I mean, how can you ever argue that, oh, if Jesus were alive during these times, he would be out at his local bar, without a mask on, trying to infect as many people as possible. Like, there's just, there's like, the cognitive dissonance that I see with people from my hometown, like, lights of fire inside me that probably to people who aren't from West Michigan just looks like I'm just very deeply troubled, which I am, but like, it's hard to understand if you're not 

Michele Baci  1:06:31  

No, I don't think that about you at all. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:06:33  

Thank you. But I don't know. Um, but I guess

Michele Baci  1:06:38  

it's hard. It's hard. When you see people you kind of know, being misinformed online. And not basing, any science based on this global pandemic, where you're like, can you please just read a factual article and spread that instead of this? 

Sophie Boudreau  1:06:55  

Yeah

Michele Baci  1:06:55  

This rhetoric that does nothing

Sophie Boudreau  1:06:56  

And I think, also, the fact that my dad is a journalist makes me extra sensitive to like, fact checking, and just the barrage of false information that's posted and like, this year, man, is just, it's been a doozy. But I think like to answer your original question about like people using social media for political stuff, I guess. I am more troubled by people who have said absolutely nothing than people who have said, maybe what's perceived as too much. And I don't think that social media should be the primary tool for like activism by any means. But also, it's what we have, during a time when we can't go outside. Like, we can't gather. We can, but we shouldn't be gathering the ways that we might have gathered, not during a pandemic. So, especially this year, like I say, more power to you, if you are posting about politics on social media, like if the worst thing that happens if somebody scrolls by it, and is annoyed at you or unfollows you, but best case scenario is someone actually stops and, and thinks, so I think if you're backing up, you're like, ultra woke post with actual, measurable actions. That's what's really important. And I would far prefer to see people like, overposting about Black Lives Matter than pretending it's not happening and staying out of politics, because they somehow think that's like, more respectable. I don't know, it's not about, it's not a political issue. So especially with like, the racial stuff that's been going on. I feel like I've learned a lot about people in my life that I didn't want to learn. And I think a lot of us have had that experience, like, seeing people share their opinions about what to me is just like a basic human rights issue is very, very depressing. When those opinions are, I care more about property and keeping the peace within my own family than standing up for people's right to exist? So I don't know.

Michele Baci  1:09:13  

Yeah, it seems like a vast lack of empathy or understanding. But then it's also you know, if you're viewing people's social media posts, how much do you know about what they're really thinking or doing?

Sophie Boudreau  1:09:23  

Yeah, that's the other thing too. 

Michele Baci  1:09:25  

It can be vapid.

Sophie Boudreau  1:09:26  

That's true. It's, I don't think we should ever take social media as an indication of someone's, I mean, deepest 

Michele Baci  1:09:33  

moral ethics

Sophie Boudreau  1:09:34  

yeah, morals or ethics or whatever. But I also think if you're a person who is frequently using your social media platform to talk about other things, then how do you then you're making the choice to not acknowledge this massively important thing on your social platform that you have. That's what confuses me. I'm like, so you're going to come on here and post about your garden every day, but then just pretend that the Black Lives Matter movement is not happening. Like it's one thing like Wilson doesn't go on social media at all, or at least he doesn't post. So I don't expect him to be on there sharing political content, cuz he shares nothing. But then I know people who it's like, they're on social media all day, every day. And they are posting tons of crap, but just not acknowledging this. Like I saw like a Reductress headline that was, I think it was like Woman Living Through Greatest Civil Rights Movement of Her Lifetime Continues to Only Post Photos of Basil That She's Growing. And it's like, yes, that is, that, oh, I don't know

Michele Baci  1:10:38  

I do consider myself lucky. I feel like my friends who would normally just post about the garden, or whatever, you know, some small thing that's happening, they've become more political. And I'm proud of them. And I'm glad you know, even if it took the current situation we're in for them to be like, let me be politically active, or at least be more vocal about it. I'm glad people are taking that turn for it.

Sophie Boudreau  1:10:59  

Yeah, yeah. And I think that a lot of people have historically been very cynical about like social media as a platform for activism. But I think particularly like now that we're seeing what seems to be such a huge, like turnout of young voters and stuff. You can't deny that social media and like that positive peer pressure from seeing all their favorite celebrities and stuff. Yeah, you can make fun of, of it and make fun of people get so mad at like celebrities for daring to have political opinions. But if it does make a positive impact in this election, then I can't say anything bad about it. Like

Michele Baci  1:11:40  

yeah, I never understand why people get mad like, oh, stick to comedy or stick to acting 

Sophie Boudreau  1:11:44  

Oh, yeah, you're not allowed to have an opinion because of your career choice.

Michele Baci  1:11:49  

They want to see you as an actor on a show. I don't want to know who you really are.

Sophie Boudreau  1:11:52  

Yeah, no, it's true. 

Michele Baci  1:11:53  

That's what it sounds like

Sophie Boudreau  1:11:54  

And then it gets depressing, though. Because then people that you admire, then they're vocal about something, you know, what you perceive as a negative way. And then you have to, like, hate them. You don't have to hate them. But like, like, Kirstie Alley posted that all that crazy Trump stuff this past week, and I used to love Kirstie Alley, she was in that 

Michele Baci  1:12:16  

I think I knew that about her

Sophie Boudreau  1:12:17  

I didn't know she was like a huge Trump supporter. And you know, everybody has totally has the right to express their political opinions online. But then you have to deal with the consequences of knowing your heroes and what they believe, not that, Kirstie Alley is not my hero, just so you know. She, I just liked her in that movie with... What's that one?

It Takes Two with Mary-Kate and Ashley. 

Michele Baci  1:12:38  

Oh, my God, that's a classic. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:12:40  

Yeah. And then they fling the like, she has a food fight, and she flings the butter at the guy.

Beautiful, beautiful moment.

Michele Baci  1:12:47  

I've actually I think my most surprising political effect in quarantine are in like, recent past, I become much more understanding of Trump supporters just convinced that, you know, they're under this brainwashing type of news stream. That's, you know, if they're only watching Fox News, I can't really blame them. If that's, you know, it's what they're hearing every day

Sophie Boudreau  1:13:08  

Yeah, yeah. 

Michele Baci  1:13:09  

And a lot of them are just misled, or they're confused, or they're like, I always vote Republican. So they are really people too. And I try not to

Sophie Boudreau  1:13:17  

they are?

Michele Baci  1:13:18  

Bash them all the time

Sophie Boudreau  1:13:19  

Yeah.

Michele Baci  1:13:20  

Some of them are. So maybe Kirstie Alley can make a comeback.

Sophie Boudreau  1:13:23  

Maybe? Yeah, no,

I, I agree with you. I mean, the really hard thing is that there are people who I genuinely love and who I genuinely think are good people. But then how do I, and they're supporting Trump? And I'm just like, I just yeah, it's so, it's so hard to make that connection? And I don't know, it's, it's very deeply troubling when you realize that like people you love can also possibly have bigoted beliefs, and you can still like other parts of them, and people are multifaceted, for sure. Yeah,

Michele Baci  1:13:59  

I think it was a, I don't know if it was a New Yorker cartoon or someone on who I follow on Instagram who does cartoons, but it was like a grandfather clock as a picture. And then the person was like, Oh, this grandfather clock is, it works great. And just occasionally, it's racist.

Sophie Boudreau  1:14:14  

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh, but it's, it's just hard to accept that.

Michele Baci  1:14:21  

You have to remember they're people? I don't know. It is hard to reconcile.

Sophie Boudreau  1:14:22  

Yeah, but also like, there are a lot of them are actively trying to deny other people their basic humanity. So it's very hard for me to have sympathy for that type of Trump voter but then, and also at the same time, like I feel, how are how can you at this point claim that you just like didn't know any better, like in 2016. At least I could kind of be like maybe they really genuinely think this guy is going to do what he claims he's going to do. But how can you now vote...

Michele Baci  1:14:25  

The vocal, the most outspoken Trump supporters are currently blocking bridges and highways. Yeah, they know better. They're just being children about it. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:03  

Yeah, that's true. That's true. I don't know.

We'll just, I'm just ready for this entire election season to be over, then we can move to whatever the next battle is. Yeah, because the battle is... 

Michele Baci  1:15:16  

Yeah, the next societal issue

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:16  

The battle is certainly I mean, the election is the beginning. It's not the end. So, we'll see. 

Michele Baci  1:15:22  

Yes, I think we'll get through it somehow. We're getting close to the end. So let's do a, at least one roulette wheel question. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:29  

Oh, okay.

So exciting.

Michele Baci  1:15:32  

I'm debuting this wheel.

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:33  

Ooh, did

you make that yourself? 

Michele Baci  1:15:36  

No, I bought it off the internet. 

But I did write on it, 

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:39  

It's cute

Michele Baci  1:15:39  

it's not too visible

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:41  

It reminds me of those things in like the 90s, where you would put paint into it, and it would spin really fast and make like splatter art. So it looks like 

Michele Baci  1:15:48  

Spin art?

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:48  

Yeah that stuff was the best. 

Michele Baci  1:15:50  

That was cool.

Now I'm scared.

Good 90s reference.

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:53  

Thank you.

Michele Baci  1:15:53  

I'm gonna give you a spin. Sophie

Sophie Boudreau  1:15:55  

I'm scared. Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my

God.

Michele Baci  1:15:58  

You landed on gratitude 

Sophie Boudreau  1:16:00  

gratitude!

Michele Baci  1:16:01  

What's something you're grateful for?

Sophie Boudreau  1:16:03  

Oh, my gosh, I am very grateful that during COVID, I've kind of had a chance to not reconnect, but re... kind of like reestablish certain friendships, and re just like, take a look at what friendships I want to maintain, and what friendships are worth putting my energy into. And I think we've all been forced to do that, because we can't really see people as easily. But in particular, there's like a small group of my friends. One friend who I've had for a really long time, who's dating a guy friend of mine, and then two of my other guy friends, just in the past couple years have started dating these two wonderful women. And the four of us have just like, really clicked over the past few months. And it's very rare, I think, as like an adult, especially an adult woman to find genuine, new friendships. And I think just like going through the experience of COVID together, even though it's been all through like zoom and group chats. And just like finding kindred spirits, amid this wild time, I'm really grateful for that kind of blossoming friend group. And I certainly would have, would not have expected this to be the time when I would make new relationships just because it's been so like such a solitary time otherwise, but yeah, I feel really grateful to have so many fantastic friends who I've been able to maintain friendships with despite the ridiculousness of everything working against me, and working against all of us as we try to maintain our sanity. Like, despite all of these forces, I've been able to not only maintain friendships, but like build new ones. So

I've been feeling grateful. 

Michele Baci  1:18:06  

So you, Wilson, and like three other couples, you just hang out on zoom?

Sophie Boudreau  1:18:10  

Yeah, so basically, there's like me and like four or five other people, I went to high school with, and it's all guys that I went to high school with. And then so I'm the only like, girl in the original high school circle that we have. But then one of them has been dating his girlfriend since early college so she was kind of, she and I are like, we were the only

Michele Baci  1:18:39  

 I thought you were gonna say early COVID

Sophie Boudreau  1:18:40  

No, God, no, no, no, like eight years. But she and I are like the, we were the only like, long term women in the group for a long time. So then bringing in like 

Michele Baci  1:18:50  

the founding members. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:18:53  

Bringing in like two new really wonderful girls that we really connect with is just so refreshing. And like I love having guy friends. But also it is really nice to have that like little circle of women that I can just like complain about stuff too. And it's just been nice. Like we just played among us with the whole group for the first time. And it did, I, it was not my, I was not good at it. I don't know if you if you can have skill in among us. But yeah, I think it's nice to have like

Michele Baci  1:19:27  

To get together to do something. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:19:28  

Yeah, I think it's nice to have like, friends, longtime friends. And I think that if your friendships can survive a pandemic, they can survive most things. So yeah, I guess, I guess that's gratitude. right?

Michele Baci  1:19:42  

It's a good time. It's a good time to find out what is worth keeping and strengthening and what's not worth your time

Sophie Boudreau  1:19:47  

Yeah. Yeah, you're forced to do that anyway. And there definitely have been relationships in my life like during COVID that have kind of taken a backseat or I've allowed to take a backseat. And I've definitely had time to like reflect on all of that. So we can't see these people in person. So who's actually making the effort to be there virtually? tells you a lot, I guess. So.

Michele Baci  1:20:11  

I think that's

Sophie Boudreau  1:20:12  

for example, you

have only texted me a few times since COVID started. I'm just kidding. I'm just

Michele Baci  1:20:18  

We've talked a couple times, Sophie, it's been a long 8 months.

Sophie Boudreau  1:20:21  

No, I feel like you and I have one of those friendships, even though we like haven't known each other. We've known each other like, not even two years. But I definitely feel like we have one of those friendships where a lot of time can pass. And we can just kind of jump right back into it, which is a sign of a good foundation and a solid friendship. And you're definitely one of the remnants of the CBS page program that I'm very grateful for. So

Michele Baci  1:20:49  

likewise, it's been, it's been such a shitty political time. And then sometimes I just texted you like, terrible things. Like when RBG died

Sophie Boudreau  1:20:57  

Oh my god, you're like, "how are you doing? RBG died, haven't talked to you in a couple months." 

Michele Baci  1:21:00  

And you're like, "I'm not doing good." I'm like, "okay."

Sophie Boudreau  1:21:02  

Michele!

Yeah, I'm doing great. Everything is wonderful.

No.

Michele Baci  1:21:06  

So we haven't had a lot of blossoming conversations lately, but I think we'll get back on it.

Sophie Boudreau  1:21:12  

It is just so nice to have another struggling comedian friend. But honestly, like you doing this podcast is so great. And I am very proud of you. Because so many people have said they're gonna start a podcast and you actually did it. So

Michele Baci  1:21:29  

It is fucking hard to do this thing. I mean, I understand why people don't do it.

Sophie Boudreau  1:21:33  

Yeah, but you, you did it. I remember when you had the idea. And I was like, we'll see if she actually does it and look at you. I'm very, I'm very proud and honored that you thought I was worth. 

Michele Baci  1:21:44  

Of course, Sophie

Sophie Boudreau  1:21:44  

no, nobody's like this is going to get the lowest view count. Listen count of any episode because I listened to Shadia's 

Michele Baci  1:21:51  

If it goes into negative numbers, I'll be proud. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:21:54  

I listened to Shadia's and it was engaging. And I listened to part of Trevor's, also engaging.

Michele Baci  1:21:59  

Mm hm. I've had some smart, funny people on. 

Sophie Boudreau  1:22:02  

Yeah. So what are you gonna do when you run out of guests? What are you gonna do?

Michele Baci  1:22:06  

I'll just do solo podcasts. Or I'll interview people on the street because there's plenty of people on the street in Long Beach.

Sophie Boudreau  1:22:12  

There you go. Just go find some randos and ask them about their experiences in therapy.

Michele Baci  1:22:17  

We have a booming homeless population in Long Beach.

Sophie Boudreau  1:22:20  

Hey, homeless people have probably better stories than a lot of people. 

Michele Baci  1:22:26  

For sure.

No, but I don't think I'll run out of guests living in Los Angeles. Everyone wants to talk.

Sophie Boudreau  1:22:31  

That's true. That's true. 

Michele Baci  1:22:32  

But we've come to the end. So is there anything you'd like to promote, share with the audience?

Sophie Boudreau  1:22:37  

Um, I would like to tell people to wear their masks and wash their hands and stop going to and holding weddings. And also 

Michele Baci  1:22:46  

Get married later, just put it off 

Sophie Boudreau  1:22:47  

Just wait! It'll be so much better when you can actually like hug people and not feel, not potentially have people die because of your love. I don't really have anything to promote other than my Twitter, which is at sophrubo, S-O-P-H-R-U-B-O and my Instagram handle is the same so if you want to follow me on there, you can do that. It's, there's a lot of poop content.

Michele Baci  1:23:11  

Yes, Sophie is a little obsessed with poop.

Sophie Boudreau  1:23:13  

I'm not obsessed with poop. I just embrace it

as part of life. 

Michele Baci  1:23:18  

Poop positive.

Sophie Boudreau  1:23:19  

Yeah, poop positive

Michele Baci  1:23:20  

We'll link that for the listeners in the episode description. But thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me. I had a great time

Sophie Boudreau  1:23:26  

Yes, thank you. This

was very refreshing the night before the election and temporarily took my mind off of my like deep gnawing sense of dread. So 

Michele Baci  1:23:36  

yeah, I'll text you about that dread. Tomorrow

Sophie Boudreau  1:23:37  

Oh, God. All right. Well, thank you. This was, this was lovely. We'll do it again.

Michele Baci  1:23:43  

Yes, definitely. 

This has been Therapy Roulette: Consent to Vent. If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe. Leave a review if you can and tell your friends! I'll be back with a new episode next Thursday.

Theme Song  1:23:59  

Therapy Roulette

 : Consent to Vent /

  Trauma disguised as comedy

 / Therapy Roulette:

  Consent to Vent

  / If you don’t have problems,

  then you’re likely repressing shit

  / And you should find

  a therapist

  / (Who’s not me)