Caller Tyler: is 21 years old, single, christian, and has been able to find sobriety for 2 years. He has been struggling with intrusive thoughts that he wants to get a better handle on. Tyler realized about 2 years ago that his pornography use was ruining the life that he wanted and joined a recovery group online that helped him to stop looking at pornography. The brothers dive into Tyler's past and the origins of his addiction. They discuss the role of sexuality in our lives, especially in a ch...
May 31, 2023•41 min•Season 3Ep. 239
Caller Adam: has been on the podcast before, and has attended the rising son retreat. Adam has learned how important his connection to God is and how God shows his love through others. He and his wife have been separated a couple times and is heading towards a divorce. On top of that, his father had recently passed away. He is wrestling with re-discovering himself and dealing with shame. The brothers point out the "messy middle" that Adam is in where he now has a solid foundation of recovery but...
May 29, 2023•52 min•Season 3Ep. 238
Caller Jeneal: met her husband in college and got married. She recently discovered her husbands pornography addiction as he came home from a trip form California. A few years after this, Jeneal started noticing odd behavior from her husband. This led to some suspicions of an affair, which eventually came out when their daughter found the conversations between her dad and a coworker. Jeneal and their oldest daughter are struggling with feelings of betrayal. Since moving, there have been many chan...
May 24, 2023•56 min•Season 3Ep. 237
The Brothers Discuss: the role the betrayed partner plays in the relationship. They talk about how a natural response of the betrayed partner is to get very involved in their partners recovery. Something that may be hard to hear is that it could be helpful to take a step back and not play such an involved role that may be to an unhealthy level. This principle can be difficult because of feelings of fear and wanting to support. An important point is to enable the partner to work their recovery fo...
May 22, 2023•38 min•Season 3Ep. 236
Caller Daniel: is 30 years old and has been married for about 7 years with 2 small children. He is a currently practicing marriage and family therapist. His addiction story starts with his family of origin. He had a blessed upbringing that gave him a lot of tools and knowledge that has helped him immensely. Daniel speaks about his family situation, specifically where he fell amongst his siblings and recognizes he did not have as much connection and did not feel significant. Daniel then explains ...
May 17, 2023•55 min•Season 3Ep. 235
Caller Ariel: has been married for 15 years and had her husband come to her 3 years ago and opened up to having a pornography addiction. Ariel tried, from the very beginning, to be gracious and compassionate towards her husband. About 6 months after his disclosure, the betrayal trauma started to settle in for Ariel. Having her own sexual trauma, her husbands pornography addiction tied itself to her past trauma. Ariel speaks of their struggle to get into recovery and stay when they could only aff...
May 15, 2023•57 min•Season 3Ep. 234
Brannon Discusses: topics people have a difficult time with, and topics Brannon gets feedback on that they do not agree with. Brannon dives into the principles behind the things that he says. He talks about why a therapist should sometimes "fire" their client. Brannon explains the most important thing is how much he wants to help his clients. He tries to help clients see their reality by being honest with them. Additionally, he dives into why two people can be in the same place experiencing the ...
May 10, 2023•37 min•Season 3Ep. 233
The Brothers Discuss: ways to manage triggers and relapse. The brothers focus on giving you tangible tools to manage those triggers and relapses. There is a space between stimulus and response where you have power to choose. The skill of urge surfing is about learning to trust ourselves to manage difficult or painful emotions or a trigger. One must lean into the emotion or trigger with curiosity and seek understanding rather than trying to avoid or get rid of it. Emotions are like a wave and are...
May 08, 2023•47 min•Season 3Ep. 232
The Brothers Discuss: a question sent in by someone wondering what to do when they feel spiritual guilt while holding boundaries and moving towards divorce? The brothers dive into how to have a balance between your values and your commitments. Oftentimes, one of the most righteous things a person can do is to divorce in some circumstances. There is a dynamic among people with an addiction and their partners that has the addicted saying to their partner if you get healthy, then that threatens our...
May 03, 2023•38 min•Season 3Ep. 231
Caller Shaun and Emily: have been together for about 5 years. One year into the marriage Emily felt something was a little off in their relationship. Emily did extensive research to learn all she could about sex addiction and betrayal trauma. Emily went through a phase of trying to control the addiction and realized that that was not working for either of them. Shaun is committed to growth and to their relationship, and he is contemplating if porn is the problem as to why he does not feel sexual...
May 01, 2023•50 min•Season 3Ep. 230
Caller Clark: has been in sobriety/recovery for about 19 months. Clark experiences many struggles including ADHD, and has been diagnosed to be on the autism spectrum. Clark feels the weight of what he goes through on top of his recovery work. While moving through several recovery groups, he has felt rejected and out of place despite trying to connect. The brothers talk about why it is so difficult to connect and make meaningful relationships. They dive into a change of perspective to a view of g...
Apr 26, 2023•55 min•Season 3Ep. 229
Caller William: has a long history with sex addiction, all starting with emotional and sexual abuse. He has been married for almost 29 years, in recovery for 16. A little over a year ago he finally did full therapeutic disclosure with his wife, and a lot of work since then. The brothers talk about the fears of honesty and the why behind lies. They dive into the fact that the issue isn't about honesty for William, but about who William is and that he is acceptable and lovable. The glaring questio...
Apr 24, 2023•45 min•Season 3Ep. 228
The Brothers Discuss: In a recent episode of Real Talk Recovery, we discussed the transformative power of a change of heart in the recovery journey. We shared our personal experiences and emphasized the importance of letting go of control and embracing faith to find freedom and peace. We learned that surrendering to a higher power and trusting in the process can lead to profound growth and self-discovery. This realization has significantly impacted not only our recovery but also the way we appro...
Apr 19, 2023•36 min•Season 3Ep. 227
Caller Chase: a determined individual, has been working diligently on his recovery journey for the past two years. With a mission to overcome scrupulosity and anxiety in addiction recovery, he has been striving to reintegrate into life and form healthy connections with others. Chase's genuine desire to connect with people and help them heal has been both a strength and a challenge as he navigates his recovery process. His openness to share his experiences and insights on the Real Talk Recovery P...
Apr 17, 2023•53 min•Season 3Ep. 226
Caller Rachelle's Question: Rachelle's marriage of 32 years was suddenly upended when she discovered her husband's infidelity and financial mistakes. The revelation left her grappling with betrayal and devastation, while trying to make sense of her husband's actions. As she confronted him, Rachelle faced the heartbreak of knowing her spouse had fallen out of love with her, choosing a sex worker over their marriage. The pain she felt was indescribable, and she struggled to understand how he could...
Apr 12, 2023•45 min•Season 3Ep. 225
Caller Duane: is a talented licensed marriage and family therapist who has dedicated his career to helping individuals and couples navigate the complex emotions and challenges surrounding grief and loss. He is also a fellow podcaster, sharing his knowledge and expertise on his popular shows "Helping Couples Heal" and "The Addicted Mind Podcast." Duane brings his own personal experience of grief to his work, providing a unique perspective and deep understanding of the emotions his clients face. H...
Apr 10, 2023•44 min•Season 3Ep. 224
Caller Crystal: has been married for about 15 years with 4 kids and recently had multiple full disclosure with her husband about his addiction and relationship with a friend. Crystal feels overwhelmed because her husband is putting the decision to divorce or not on her. Crystal is trying to pick up the pieces of her life after her world got scattered after finding out what her husband has been doing. Crystal is a woman of faith and wants to live the principles of her faith and wants to reconnect...
Apr 05, 2023•50 min•Season 3Ep. 223
Caller Chris: a thoughtful individual who has been navigating the complexities of addiction recovery within his marriage for some time. Having been married for 18 years and committed to his partner, Chris brings a unique perspective on the importance of honesty, accountability, and transparency in healing processes. Throughout his journey, Chris has been open to seeking professional help and participating in support groups, demonstrating his dedication to personal growth and rebuilding trust wit...
Apr 03, 2023•51 min•Season 3Ep. 222
Caller Bob: is 82 and hid his addiction from his wife for about 40 years. They have both been trying to work recovery from the addiction and betrayal. Bob realizes that he has struggled with inadequacy and is trying to get to the root of his addiction. After years of being in an unhealthy cycle of pornography and rage, Bob had the courage to seek help and is now on his journey to recovery. He has been in therapy and couples counseling and is actively working towards rebuilding trust with his wif...
Mar 29, 2023•47 min•Season 3Ep. 221
Caller Nikki: Nikki had been married to a man for eight years, living a life of oppressive control, psychological and emotional manipulation and physical abuse. Through her story, Nikki learned that she and her mother had been trauma bonded, and she was replaying the same patterns of behavior in her marriage. After realizing this, Nikki was determined to fight for her physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health, and eventually plans to leave her marriage in search of closure. Nikki is deter...
Mar 27, 2023•52 min•Season 3Ep. 220
Caller Donna: Meet Donna, a 62-year-old woman who has been through a lot in her life. Donna joined the Navy at the age of 18, became an RN as a single mom, and then got married to her now-husband when her daughter was five. Donna's husband has been struggling with a compulsive use of pornography since 2010, and while Donna has worked with multiple counselors and therapists, she is still questioning if her husband is really taking steps to change or if he is trying to please her. Donna is current...
Mar 22, 2023•31 min•Season 3Ep. 219
Caller Brian: has been in a form of recovery for the past 12 years, but has got into real recovery and trauma work for the past 2 years. After experiencing some trauma in his church through a church leader and father, Brian has struggled with his relationship with God. Because of his relationship with God and working his recovery, he feels like he is going through the process alone. Brian realizes he does not trust God and is seeking to know how to build that trust. The brothers dive into Brian'...
Mar 20, 2023•51 min•Season 3Ep. 218
The Brothers Discuss: an interesting question about narcissism and how ADHD or ADD is always diagnosed, especially in school. A common theme is a diagnosis, even from loved ones, that one with an addiction is narcissistic. Great clarity can come to someone who is hurting when you can get answers to why your loved one is acting in a certain way. There is a power that comes to us when we can name something. On the other hand, an addiction can look like narcissism and can make the person feel more ...
Mar 15, 2023•38 min•Season 3Ep. 217
Callers Devin and Jen: are a couple who have experienced both sides of addiction and recovery. After Devin spent two years in jail for his addiction, they have worked to rebuild their marriage and their lives through recovery and education. Forgiveness and understanding are a powerful commodity when it comes to those in recovery. But what happens when someone we love has legal charges? Is it possible to stay in a relationship and work through it together? Devin and Jen have been living through t...
Mar 13, 2023•48 min•Season 3Ep. 216
Caller Joe: explores identity and worthiness in a journey of deep self-reflection and inner healing. For Joe, a 43-year-old former West Point cadet, Bronze Star recipient, and recovering addict, this journey has been a long and difficult one. From childhood sexual abuse, to a porn addiction, to serial infidelity, Joe has experienced a lifetime of trauma, pain, and abandonment. But he is trying to take control of his life and face his inner demons. In this episode, Joe shares his story, his strug...
Mar 08, 2023•48 min•Season 3Ep. 215
The Brothers Discuss: how women experience shame through a web of mixed messages. Men experience shame through the pressure to be a strong provider and women experience it through messages about their value based on their physical appearance. To escape shame, we must learn to be congruent with who we already are and who God has made us to be, instead of trying to live up to expectations from the culture. We must teach our kids the importance of taking care of themselves and their bodies, instead...
Mar 06, 2023•41 min•Season 3Ep. 214
Caller Chris: was a good baseball player with a big heart, but was struggling with a long-term addiction to porn. Although he was in recovery, his addiction had hurt his wife in many ways and created a deep shame in him. He had a strong relationship with his wife and her three children, but felt disconnected from his heavenly father. Through his recovery journey and a lot of reflection, Chris realized he just needed to let go and allow himself to be loved by his heavenly father. By doing this, h...
Mar 01, 2023•47 min•Season 2Ep. 213
Our Guest, Dr. Wyatt Fisher is a licensed psychologist and Ph.D. in Boulder, Colorado. Dr. Wyatt shared his six steps for couples to consider when experiencing betrayal in their relationship. He encouraged ceasing all contact with the affair person, opening up all accounts, showing remorse, and discussing the details with the betrayed partner in control. He suggested exposing the affair if the wayward partner refused to cooperate, and getting a separation if they still refused to take action. Dr...
Feb 27, 2023•42 min•Season 3Ep. 212
Caller Brie: Has been married for 16 years and after her first year of being married, she discovered her husbands behaviors. She struggled with being in the dark and not having as much trust in her marriage. Brie wonders if her husband struggles with a gender issue along with an addiction. While being separated from her husband, Brie is dedicated to keeping the good that she has in her marriage and family, and desires to work the path of recovery and do what she can for her husband. The therapy ...
Feb 22, 2023•45 min•Season 3Ep. 211
Caller David: Struggling with some perfectionism, David races to build a life of recovery, integrity, and family - only to discover the true key to success is embracing his own worth and value despite his mistakes. David was trying to be perfect, strive for success, and make sure his family was happy. He knew he was on a path to recovery, to becoming an honest man and saving what he had, but he was struggling with the pressure he put on himself to be perfect. With the help of Brannon and Tyler, ...
Feb 20, 2023•46 min•Season 3Ep. 210
