#312: How Safe Is Safe Enough To Re-engage Fully In My Relationship

Caller Megan's Question: " My husband has been sober from a porn and masturbation addiction for 6 years. We both did a lot of therapy and attended support groups for a long time. We both feel like we have healed and changed in so many ways. However, I still really struggle with a fear of intimacy with him after all these years. If he hugs me in bed, I shut down and freeze up and feel super anxious and claustrophobic. He has told me I avoid him and avoid intimacy by staying busy with the kids and other things. I used to think this wasn't true, because I'm not doing it intentionally. But now I think he is probably right....it is uncomfortable for me to be close to him, so I find other things to do. I don't know how to overcome this. He wasn't safe emotionally for a long time. He is for the most part now. Am I waiting for him to be perfect? How safe is safe enough to re-engage fully, and how do I fight against the alarm system going off in my brain anytime we are close?....…" // SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN // We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠ // Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" // Free Consultation Call: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://lovestrong.com/consultation-call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love Strong | Experience Therapy: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://lovestrong.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ // Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" // Brannon's Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.brannonpatrick.com⁠⁠⁠ Therapy Utah: ⁠⁠⁠https://therapyutah.org/⁠⁠⁠ // COURSES // The Healing Journey: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/⁠ Brannon's Boundary Bootcamp: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.brannonpatrick.com/Boundarybootcamp⁠⁠⁠ Tyler's Pornography Addiction Recovery Kickstart: ⁠⁠⁠https://lovestrong.com/courses/overcome-pornography-addiction/⁠⁠⁠ // EVENTS // Radiant Dawn | Women's Retreat: ⁠https://radiantdawn.org⁠ Rising Son | Men's Retreat: ⁠⁠⁠https://risingson.org⁠⁠⁠ Vibrant Love | Couple's Retreat: ⁠⁠⁠https://vibrantlove.org⁠⁠ // Reclaim Your Heart // Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/ 0:00 - Introduction1:13 - Radiant Dawn Conference Announcement4:48 - Megan's Recovery Journey9:43 - Trust and Job Resentment13:10 - Exploring Hobbies16:15 - Embracing Mindfulness21:00 - Importance of Rest23:45 - Discussing Spirituality (God)25:20 - Integrating Exercise27:35 - Words of Encouragement