#2111 When Does a Good Habit Become a Bad Obsession? - Harps & Kelly

day with a smile on your face. And you know, initially we thought, okay, they're probably putting it on because you know, she's brand new, and it has it hasn't changed. They are all so lovely. Nan is very happy and very safe, which is what we want for her obviously. But just the other day she said, where's your podcast? What's going on? Why are you talking to people anymore?

memory is amazing. That's part of the brain that kind of one of the bits that kind of declines first is the short term stuff Like how I don't it probably doesn't happen to you, but I meet people in a conversation four sentences in, I can't remember the name of the per that I just got introduced to, mainly because I wasn't really focusing, but also that's pretty bad.

So we're met jad for rock solid forty seconds and forty seconds ago someone told me your name was Donna or Dave or something, and I'm looking at you, going nah, I got nothing. So from then it becomes old.

things like that. But one of the things I'm noticing, and it's something that you have spoken about a bit recently, and I'm seeing it with friends. I'm seeing it, you know, every time you kind of plug something into like a calculator or whatever. And it's the fact that walking and getting your steps up is so much more important in terms of your fitness, weight loss, fat loss journey. And it was something for me that I always really enjoyed walking. It was more like a you know, let's go and

clear the headspace. But it's becoming more and more obvious that the more you walk, the easier or the more beneficial that is for fat loss, and why, like what is it around, like the actual physicality of that that makes that such a good form of exercise.

So I think there's a couple. It's not a single thing, but one of the main things is that you are carrying your weight, and the heavier you are, the more work you're doing. So if we get somebody, I'm just going to make some of the figures up. But if we get Kelly, who weighs I don't know what your a doesn't matter. But let's say you weigh sixty kilos.

It doesn't matter what you weigh. But let's say you've got a friend who wears a hundred kilos and you and that one hundred kilos versus sixty kilos Kelly, that person you go for the same walk at the same time, over the same distance, at the same speed, Well, there any energy expenditure ie calorie burning will be way bigger than yours because they're carrying forty kilos that you are

not carrying, So it's hiking that weight around. So in a weird way, sometimes being bigger or heavier or more overweight, there are surprising benefits because you're burning more calories per unit of time if you're doing the same thing at the same level. And I think you know, I think also when you start something like I am, like everyone who listens to this show regularly knows that a year and a half ago my phone time, I was fat and I didn't walk enough right pretty much, and then

I just started I went right, well, that's it. From tomorrow, I'm doing ten thousand rock bottom and hand on harder. I can say that every day that since then, I've done at the worst ten thousand steps a day, and I was doing something like four and a half without really realizing it. So my steps are somewhere between doubled and tripled every day of my life. But also what happens when you create a new good habit. We'll talk about the difference maybe between habit and obsession. That's an

interesting conversation in itself. But when you create a new habit, there's a shift emotionally and psychologically. So I'm not going to go and walk ten thousand steps or fifteen thousand steps and at the end of that eat a fucking

cheeseburger because I've done this really good. So when we create a new habit, one which aligns with who and how we want to be behaviorally, psychologically, emotionally, physiologically like I'm improving me or what I think is my version of improvemental success or growth, we're much more likely to make decisions which are consistent with health, wellness, optimization performance. There's that. Now, if you want to go physiology, then

more of the calories, so the greater. Let's say we burn x calories per hour walking and we burn one and a half x calories an hour running or two x calories an hour. Overall, will burn more fat running than walking, and this is where people get tripped up. But as a percentage of energy expenditure, it will be higher in the walking. Okay, So but let's say, hypothetically, let's say seventy percent of the five hundred calories that

I expend walking are fat are from fat. We go seventy percent, and five hundred is three point fifty, right, and we might go only fifty percent of the calories that I burn when I'm jogging is from fat, so walking is better. But then you go, hang on, Brian, you're burning eight hundred calories running. Fifty percent of eight hundred is four hundred, which is more than three fifty.

So if we're looking at overall expenditure side by side per unit of time, walking at five k's won't spend as many calories as jogging at ten k's, of course, and it won't even expend the same amount of fat. But what it will do is most of what you're using when you're walking is fat, which is what people want. What also it will do, which is something people don't either realize or understand or talk about much, is you will lose less muscle walking. Now I'll shut up after this,

but this is just interesting. Look at the runners, the people in the world of running who are muscly, how far do they run? Kel the big musclie.

But then you look at somebody who's running fifteen hundred meters, well, weighing one hundred kilos and being jacked and muscular and big is not consistent with running a fast mile or fifteen hundred. Then you look at the marathoners who might be the same height like some of the African Ethiopian you know, some of those runners who are just canyons who are just beautiful, like amazing physiology, but they're six foot tall and they weigh fifty five kilos, So they're

just light, powerful, hyper endurance running machines. Now, if you got the same girl or guy who was that good a runner, and you went now do that with thirty extra kilos, their best time would go from to ten minutes to three hours and twenty minutes. So that was a very long answer. I'll try and coep the future one shorter.

But then one other thing maybe to talk about with steps, right is people like gott to walk ten thousand steps, got to walk ten thousand steps, you know, keep it on your phone, keep it on your watch da da da da da. Well, not if you're a bloke or a girl working on a construction site, climbing ladders, carrying shit, building shit, moving constantly. You might not be out directly taking step after step, but your movement, your incidental and

occupational activity they call it, is through the roof. So old mate might walk a thousand steps at work, but is built, is spent more energy or used more calories than everyone else who's been walking the whole time, because you know, so, I think the most the most relevant that piece of advice becomes, or the more relevant it becomes, is when we're talking about people whose life otherwise incidental and occupational is a low energy expenditure is somewhat you know,

you know, not where they there's a lot of movement. But for somebody who is like an eighteen year old trade who's climbing up and down bloody scaffolding and ladders and carrying shit and building shit and moving shit and running to whatever all day, that dude probably needs to walk zero extra steps per day. Yeah.

that I think I probably googled. And so every day I'm like, well, I need to do this because I've got this watch telling me that I'm need to do it, and it was actually.

of control. Right, if we're talking about this type of stuff, of course there can be negative, addictive habits they're out, but we're talking about something that we're an operating system that we're creating. And it's like I'm trying to do or I'm doing ten thousands steps a day. But if this day on whatever, I'm flying around Australia and I get off a plane at eleven thirty at night and I happened to do eight I'm not going to have a mental breakdown because it wasn't that I was lazy

or I didn't try right. So I think in general terms, you know, in the positive way, having help, having habits that you built and created and designed and implemented incorporated, you know, that's a positive thing. That's an in control thing, that's a healthy thing, that's a logical thing. Whereas obsession is emotional, habit is logical in the sense that we're

talking about it. And so. But one of the problems with this or can be, is that we get like when we get to our steps, it's almost like a relief, and when we're not there, it's anxiety. And I see that all the time and even down to like this is digressing, but it's related. Like I've seen so many people, not so much in recent times because I don't do this anymore, but over the years they come into the gym and let's say we weigh them once a month.

I didn't weigh people very often, but twenty eight days, you know, and we do lots of testing other than that. But I'm like, hey, feeling good. How I feel? Yeah, I feel strong, healthy, My energy is good. I'm sleeping good. I'm definitely leaning at da da da da. And they get on the scales and in a month they've lost two hundred grams. Now, a minute ago they felt great, They literally felt great mentally, emotionally, physically. Now they look at the scales and they pretty much spiral. They don't

spiral because a bad thing happened. They don't spiral because they they actually got a bad result, or they didn't spiral because they feel sick or they're getting whit. No, all the signs are great, except they have placed so much value on this fucking but between their toes that that has hijacked their happiness rather than understanding what that

means or might mean or doesn't mean. And then I would say to people, well, depending on when I was at my stage of my journey, but I'd go so in the mornings, I weigh about ninety k's and at night I weigh about ninety four. And they're like, what, I go, yeah, because by the end of the day, I've got food in my stomach, I've got fluid on board of this, I've got that I'm at least two two and a half kilos heavier, maybe three or four, right,

And I go, this does not. There's a point where it matters depending on the person and their body composition and where they are at. But for the average punt who's just on the journey and doing the things properly and doesn't have extremes like gaining a kilo or losing two kilos, or up a few grams or down a few grams, is not nearly as important as they think.

It's just that we've been trained and programmed and sometimes by ourselves to be obsessed with a particular number, and that number between people's toes can literally ruin their day, whereas if they felt exactly the same and the number was a bit lower, they'd have a great day in the same body. You know, I'd say to people, well, you know, so there's a thing called body composition, and

that's what your body's actually made of. Also, by the way, you might have lost a kilo a kilo and a half of fat this month, but you've gained some muscle. You maybe haven't had a wi this morning like you did last or whatever. But you know, body weight matters to a level, but body composition is far more indicative of health. You know. Well, but you know, if you

look at not that on the thing. But if you look at me, the world doesn't need to see this, but just in pair of shorts and my top on Lena's fakers at the moment, but I'm still qualifiers overweight, yeah, based on the highlight thing. Right, So we've spoken about that too much.

is pretty much spot on? And that has alleviated a lot of my anxiety around it so looking more so, as you say, like if it's a day where you're busy and you get eight thousand versus ten thousand steps, Like, I'm looking at it more so from the point of view of what's the average over the week, and is my average still you know where it should be? And if so, then I'm quite happy with that. If not,

am I going to keep kicking myself about it? No, because I know that I'm doing the work and also to learning about like I thought I had a pretty good handle on calories macros right, but then having it explained in terms of how certain carbs are going to help a workout.

you know what I'm saying. So I've written thousands and thousands of exercise programs, and I know you pretty well, but I don't know a lot, right, like I don't know a lot of things about you. And so if you said, you know this, who I am, this sort of way, this is what I know, this, how I look, This is how my back works or my bloody legs don't work, or my body is great, but my lower body's got no flexible or whatever it is. You give me all this information, then you tell me what you

want to be your goals. And then based on all of the data that you give me, which is also a subjective interpretation of what you think is going on in your body, it's still not fucking science, right, it's still because your body and your interpretation is wrapped in emotion and logic and illogic, and it's still the Kelly story about her body. Right. So then on top of that, then I go, all right, well, based on that and based on the equipment you've got available here at SNAP

five one five fucking Bluff Road, Hampton East. You're welcome, blood, I mean you welcome SNAP. Then then I write your program and it could be the perfect program, very unlikely. It could be really fucking good, or it might not be so good. So all of the time we are trying to understand our body and our emotions and our psychology. And I think one of the problems that we one of the mistakes that we make. I'm globalizing here everyone, so this may not be you, but is that we

outsource decisions for our own fucking body. When your body's going hey, dumbass, listen to me, or your nervous systems going, Kelly, I am fucking telling you what creates anxiety because when you do this, I'm going nuts over here. And the information's there, right, we might not always understand it, but we have it. And so I think using people who are in inverted Comma's experts is something that should be done cautionarily, with caution. That's me too, including you know too.

Or I did a podcast yesterday with Bobby about like should we actually give advice at all?

the body, even around health, even around training. Is you trying to understand you, You're trying to learn how to operate you. And I'm going to sound like an old fuck here, but and this is a purely a personal preference, but I wish young people would try it. Fuck off your apps, fuck off your phone, fuck off all that in terms of this process, and just write stuff in a book, do it for six months, get a spiral bound like I've I've got one right here as you can kind of see. Nope, No, anyway.

At age fifteen, I had this for Brecky. I trained at this time. I did this workout at this intensity. I felt fucking amazing. I did this many steps that day. I went to bed at this time. I ate this for food. Of this food for dinner or for lunch, or I took these supplements. I drank this water. I had two coffees. Now I've got a hold, not just that's on stepping, not just and not only have I got all of this information, I've also got how I felt.

Because changing your body is a feeling process or an emotional process, and a psychological process and a physical process. But what we're doing when we're just plugging numbers into a phone is just fucking stats and data. And I like the idea of looking at my writing on a page. I can even tell by my writing how I was going. I'm like, am I writing? I was fucked? You know? So that's my and of course that's just my thoughts everybody. That's not what anyone should necessarily do. But I think

but the thing is with that too. Let's say you do a twenty eight day trial of that where you've got a spiral bound little pad or whatever. I would say a four size to be honest, just so you can get a whole day on there. Do it enthusiastically rather than gonn ah, fuck, this is a thing I've got to do for twenty eight days, because no, if

you do it that, then don't start. But I diorized all of my training, all of my sleep, all of my food, all of my fluid intake, my supplements, my vitamins, my injuries, my energy levels from when I was eighteen to when I was about thirty five, so whatever, seventeen years right, And people go, oh, you're obsessed. I go, no, I'm curious. I'm fucking If I said to you do you want to understand your body? Really well, everyone's going to no, one's going to go no, I don't now,

I don't. Well, you're a dumbass. Why the fuck don't you want to? You can't get a new one? Do you want to understand how your body responds to different stimuli and processes? Write that shit down and just go oh, when I do this, when I go to bed at that time, when I get up at that time, when I have a coffee after six, I'm fucked. I can't sleep, So don't do that. Also, I don't know why, but I seem to be stronger between eleven am and two pm than I am from fucking five to seven pm.

So maybe when I feel the strongest, if I can, as we're not, I'll try. So you're kind of doing a PhD in kelly yourself.

and this sounds like so low key. I would have been twenty five when we didn't have the internet and shit was hard to get a hold of. But I just studied the brain for a week, which just trying to go, ah, what are the bits of the brain called, what is the prefrontal cortext do? What does the amigdala do? You know? What does this do? What does that do? And just trying to go okay, and I've got one of those, and what happens when I'm tired? And what

happens when by the way, what is my brain run on? Oh? Glucose? Okay? And by the way, how much energy does my brain use over a day? Well, twenty percent of all your energy? Fuck? And the hell you know, like there's and then you can just go, oh, you can start to understand your own brain and your own cognitive kind of state because you now understand a little bit more about the brain.

Like and we're still learning. Do you remember that thing that hubanman He didn't discover it, but he started talking about a year or two ago, which is called the the am Yeah, AMCC. I've got to remember the words and then the acronym. Have you heard about the AMCC anterior mid singulate cortex.

want to do a fourth. I go, yeah, cool, I know you don't, but do a fourth and you're like, I really don't. Like I actually don't. I'm tired. I've had a big day and I'm like ah, and you go, fuck you and you do the fourth.

downstairs to the kitchen to do something. I'll get some and I realized that i'd a not a It's only me, so it's not like it's a thousand, But I had about five or six dishes, right, and I'm like, I will soak those and I will clean those in the morning, and then fucking I hate being these sometimes then amcc boy is like, no, you won't. You'll wash them. You'll you'll run some hot water, you'll get some lick, some soap, you'll fill up the fucking sink. You'll wash them properly,

you'll dry them properly. Then you'll put them away, and then you'll take the dish rack off and you'll wipe everything. Then you'll dry and everything, so it looks like a fucking showroom. And that's what I did, and I just didn't want to. I didn't want to. But it's in that, can I digress, I'll shut up after this, And it's in that doing of the the hard things I believe. I don't mean lifting a heavyweight, because some people lifting a heavyweight is fun, so you don't get this particular

bend effit that I'm talking about. Right, some people that hate doing squats, they'll do everything in the gym, but they won't put a weight on their back and do squats. I'm not saying everyone should do squats, but when you go, fuck, I'm going to squat once a week. I don't want to hate it. They suck. I don't think I'm very good at and blah blah, blah all that. Well, then that's where you start to get this type of benefit.

And I was listening to a podcast. Do you know who Alex Hanald is the climber corn So he is considered by most to be the best climber in the world, and he he has climbed the toughest. He's probably the one person who's done most of the you would call impossible, in impossible for the average human, climbs like El Capitan, which is in I think it's Insemite, which is I'm going to get the numbers wrong, but it's something like two thousand or two and a half thousand feet straight

fucking up. It's like climbing. It's like timbing the wall of your bedroom. It's like it's straight up right. And then he was talking to Stephen Bartlett, who does Diary of CEO. Shout out to him. He's, oh, gladly give him a shout out. Good podcast, a good podcast. And he was talking about, you know, like the sacrifice of all these things he did, like he lived in a van from when he was nineteen to thirty thirty years, eleven years and all he did was, you know, climb.

And he's like, oh, you did all these horrible things and hard things, and they started talking about the AMCC and he's like, yeah, but what you don't understand is for me, that's joy, you know. For me, that's what is hard for me is coming into the city and putting on a fucking suit and tie and going to talk to some corporates. Like that's for him a horror story,

you know. So it's like we get this cognitive benefit when we do something which for someone else might seem easy or convenient, but for you it's like, no, fuck, I hate doing this. Like I would say, for you, part of your cognitive growth doing these with me, starting from the girl lady who's never done one to be the lady who has now been on here unteen times. And I can tell in you the thing that used

to stress you doesn't stress you as much. I don't know what your individual response is, but it might have been somewhere in the ballpark of a ten, and right now, in this moment, you're probably sitting closer to a one than a ten.

insight and all of this stuff. Where the mountain is the same, the task is the same, the environment is the same, but you're different. And without anything about the mountain, be that a literal or metaphoric mountain, without anything about the mountain changing because you different. Now your relationship with, experience with and respond to the mountain is different, and you change nothing except you.

pause because something else in life is happening. And so in amongst all of the things that have been happening at the moment with my nan, like I'm her kind of key person, I'm her primary care basically, so there's been a lot of admin around that, and I thought, I've got to focus on what it is that I can control within MySpace while I'm not actively pushing up that hill. And so when you said what you did the other day, I'm like, Okay, that makes absolute sense.

Because if you're on say the swings all the roundabout its metaphor, it can be going up and down, and that's fine.

taking the focus off it for the moment. Yeah, So I thought that is you know, if we're talking quite literally about the U project, that for me was like it was such a light bulb moment of Yeah, things are always you're going to have those moments of it being up and down, but depending on the work that you've already put in, it's not going to change your progress and then eventually the swing will stop and you can start the bush again.

down to the word story. We all have a story about what happens when I get the goal, and it's always something good. Right, Yeah, I'm my self esteem will be great because now I'm in shape. My confidence will be greater because now I've got fifty thousand followers, not five my you know fill in the blank. And I think that is the expectation that we have, or the belief that we have tied into a theoretical does not

yet exist outcome. And then I would say, how many times have you achieved a goal or done a thing that you wanted to do and did not have the subsequent subsequent emotional or psychological or broadly speaking, internal shift, And most of us would go nearly every time. It might have been temporarily better. But then, you know, if we talk about satisfaction and contentment, very few people are actually content. And you go, oh, yeah, but if I do this, change that, own that earn that, get that

I will be I doubt it. I doubt it, Which is not to say getting earning, having owning, achieving is bad, of course not. But I've never got to the point where I think, oh yeah, I've got it, sort it out, and I'm I'm content. I will never want anything else. I am fulfilled. I am fucking hell, I have figured it out. Hey, world, eyes to me, listen the fuck up. You know it's no you're a human like you're going to get there and go, oh fuck here, I don't want to be here. I thought I wanted to be here,

you know. And then then what's interesting is interesting is to go, what is that about? What is the psychological or emotional or spiritual thing that I really want but don't know that I want it or really need while I think I want something else. Like this is when we start to get hold on kel. It's about to get fucking deep. This is when we start to get past goal setting and personal growth and you know, human performance and all of that stuff is good because that's

part of who we are. But also, do you and me and every one of our listeners know someone who you would go fuck and how They're a stud, they're a superstar, they're successful, and they're miserable as fuck, Yet none of them want to be miserable outside looking in all shiny and successy inside overthinking self doubt, paranoia, depression, anxiety, medication, darkness not light, and you go, dude, you're chasing the wrong things or you look for the right solutions in

the wrong places. And this is opening a door on real high level self understanding and awareness and consciousness where we start to question our own beliefs about what will fix me, what will make me happy. You know, when I was and I don't say this to you know, but when I was young thirty, I was way more successful financially commercially da da da da than I thought I would ever be in my entire life. And I was thirty, and I'm like, well, how did this happen?

And why do I still feel like dogshit? And why am I insecure when I have that and known that and earned that and got a profile and I've got all these things, I've got all these shits, And how come in the middle of all of my shit? And

again just my experience, but I know I was. I definitely remember thinking back when I was twenty and I was working in pubs four nights a week, I'm getting punched in the face for twelve dollars an hour, and I was working in gyms for someone else, and I was on a wage, and I had mates and we did dumb shit and my girlfriends and we just life was just fun. And I'm like, I definitely remember. And that's not to say one or the other. That was

just my story. It's like I was in a situation that no one would aspire to, perhaps like my practical reality of my world. I had a shit car, had a shit motorbike. I didn't own a house. Every week I'd make you know, four more dollars than I needed to survive and in the middle of that happiest shit and then you go and now I've a gieved all these fucking amazing things, and I yeah, so I think, and I don't have a single answer to that. I just think, fuck, that is an interesting phenomenon. You know,

let's what is that about for me? What is that about for you? And it's like, what do you want to be when you're forty well you know? And then you go, well, why do you want to be it? And do you really want to be it? And then if you do you get there? What then.

the scene. And it's like having you know, you've got something marked in your calendar of Hey, I've got this to look forward to, and there's all of this time in between that I'm going to be doing whatever it is I'm doing, but I've got this thing here to look forward to and at the moment for me, because I do feel I feel really good within myself physically. It's like, Okay, well, I know that I'm still doing this kind of challenge thing for another couple of weeks,

but I don't even care anymore. I don't care what the end result is because I know my thing thinking around it has changed and that is giving me this internal sense of achievement already and I haven't even got to where.

The guy that served us was a prick. It's hot as fuck or whatever. Like, sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not. There's the idea of what we're going to do, and then there's the thing that we're going to do, and sometimes you know that aligns and sometimes it doesn't. But another thing that came to mind was, so what if we just said to ourselves, like, oh, some days I'm going to have a shit day and that's fine. Some days I'm going to be sad. That's fine, because that's

what humans do. You know. Some days I'm going to be happy as fuck. I might not even know why I'm so happy today. And sometimes I'm going to get disappointed. And sometimes I'm going to win, sometimes I'm going to lose. And in the middle of all of those human experiences, I'll just try and navigate and I'll just try and have the best mindset that I can. I'll try and self regulate as well as I can. Like, you've been going through stuff with Nan, who you love, and it's

some of it sucks, some of it's fucking horrible. It's not where you want to be, how you want to be, it's not how you want her to be. It's it's all the things. But also there's a knowing you can't control it. It's just happening. So in that instance, we resign ourselves and we go all right, well, this is in some shape or form inevitable, So how do I be of service to Nan? How do I love her?

How do I mentally, emotionally practically love her? And you just all of a sudden, you're like, oh, wow, I might have six months with her that I didn't think I would have, or a year or whatever it is, and you're just grateful. You're just grateful for something that you were never truly grateful for because she was always just there, you know. So I think there's you know,

context and reframing. And I remember recently, I can't remember what day, but in the last three weeks I had a day where I was fucking sad, and I'm like, wow, I don't get sad. I'm Craig Harper, and I'm like, I don't get sad. What the fuck is wrong with me? I was flat? And Melissa rang me and I go, fuck, I'm flat. She's like really, I go and she was like you, I'm like me, I'm flat as fuck. I

feel sad. I don't talk to anyone. People are ringing me, I'm not answering, and I'm like, oh, okay, so this is new, this is new. I don't know what was going on. I still don't know. I think I suspect a bit of unling, underlying stuff with mum and dad and a few issues and PhD and getting shit done, taking a few bucks and you know, personally trying to fucking get healthy, and it's all the things, and it's Tuesday and you feel like shit. So there you go,

sham Tuesday, feeling shit. I'm like Roger that so and the next day quite a bit better. Next day, brand new, happy as fucked. I don't know why I didn't do anything in particular, but I think the goal of being happy may not be the best goal.

something that is still moving in the right way. And you know, it means that I'm in control of that, and it means that I know something, and it means that, yeah, I'm good. But then it's like, stop talking, stop trying to prove something. You're actually coming across as a bit of an asshole. So maybe just take a step back and let someone else talk.

and sometimes it's not. And I think we need to take responsibility for the impact that social media has on us, because you know, where like nobody's putting a gun to here to make oh yeah, but they've developed these things so that it hijacks your brain, and that has an hijacked mine hasn't hijacked a lot of you know, it's not like this mandatory I'm a fucking puppet at the mercy of It's like, there needs to be some level of accountability and responsibility on an on an individual level

as well as the social media company is having some responsibility.

that's not their life. That's a fucking real on a platform that they have probably shot thirty five different times in three different fucking light settings with four different mics, with some motherfucker holding the camera, and then they've edited the shit out of that to produce this little thing that you think just them casually strolling through their excellent existence, right, bro, come on, Like, for me, I find it interesting, but I know what it is, and I know what it

isn't you know? This is not life. This is a show. I mean, it's literally like a little movie that someone's created. Like we don't watch movies, going fuck, I love this documentary because we know it's a fucking movie. So don't think the movies, the mini movies you're watching on social media, are documentaries or any reflection of reality. There's some exceptions, but most not really. And so that's going. No, life is not a fucking Disney movie. Life is not fucking

you know, fluffy puppies and unicorns. It's not. It's life. Life's life. Sometimes beautiful, sometimes it's horrible. You know, I've got friends right now going through all kinds of horrible shit. Ask them how life's going. It ain't a reel on Instagram, you know, like like our friend that you know, Johnny comes to the gym last eight years, it's just gone eight years since he got blown up. Eight years with

a traumatic brain injury. Eight years with daily pain, I mean fucking nine out of ten pain, eight years with a spinal did I say spinal cord or traumatic brain injury, got both of them, and eight years of walking with great difficult not eight years because he was in a wheelchair at first, you know. And that's his day, like he never has Yes, he has moments of joy and fun, but if you look at the totality of twenty four

hour period, he never has a great day. Every day contains pain and discomfort, and considerable work, an organization to get out of bed in the morning to be somewhat operational for the day. So don't tell me how fucking amazing life is. Everyone. You know, maybe your life truly is amazing, maybe maybe you're the unicorn, but life is just life. For some people, it's beautiful. For some people

it's fucking horrible. We don't want to talk about the horrible because we're all about pumping our fist and walking on hot coals and being putting light into the world. Well, guess what, some people live in darkness. You don't want to acknowledge it, you don't like it, but that is some people's reality. So we need to be compassionate and if we can be a little bit of light. I try to be a little bit of light in Johnny's life. If I can do that, then I'm proud. But I'm

not pretending his life is good. You know, there's that we've got to, like, fucking get out of the fairy talent into this is what life.

it all together. And she put this really honest post out and I just said to her, I'm really glad that you changed your mind, and I'm really glad that you're still here. And I don't know you, but please send me a message anytime you feel shit.

here's the latest viral recipe. So yeah, I think, you know, not to sound wanky, but I think there's a real beauty that can come out of that darkness if you're willing to be vulnerable around it and.

You know. If you want to build a business, a micro business or an online business and you're doing great, well, then go you like go you. So it's this is the thing. It's like with with any single thing. Is cake bad? No? If you have three bits a day, well yeah, this booze bad. What depends, doesn't it. It's like my mum and dad drink booze. They're eighty six. Yeah, they're probably going all right. You know, it's like, do I drink booze? No? Does that make me better? No?

Or maybe I'd be a better person if I had a fucking wine or a beer each day, accounty, I don't know. But it's like these yeah, these things are not arbitrary so much. You know, maybe if you things like well, we know cigarettes are probably going to fuck you up. But you know, is our social media good or bad? Both? Both? But it's really not about is it inherently good or bad. It's really about how it

is used by people and how it impacts people. It's more than that, you know, And even over time we find out via a lot of our guests on even this show, it's like, oh, the thing that we used to think was really bad, eating lots of meat might actually not be bad, you know, Or maybe this kind of oil is you know, don't ever have fucking butter now? Some people are like, no, you should just have butter. Again.

I'm not endorsing or rejecting anything. I'm just you know, this is the thing, and it's like, I like, for me, I've never I've never been less busy in the sense that I don't have multiple business and I don't have lots of stuff, and I don't have sixteen meetings a day. But I feel the richest I've ever felt, and not because of money. Like I'm like, oh, how good is

my fucking life? How good is my life? And I go, I am you know, of course there's money, which we call wealth, And then I go, yeah, what about your emotional bank account or your spiritual bankccount, or your social bank account or your mental bank account or how's that going? But we're so preoccupied with the first one, not the last four, that we feel the first one sometimes again,

that's not a bad thing, that's an amazing thing. But then then around that, you know, is my identity intertwined with the ship that I own and the money that I have, or is that just a resource available to me to do the stuff that I'm actually passionate about.

And then you go, well for you one as best I can understand, not being you, I understand total empathy, total love, and I get that like making money practically, that's just got to be your priority now, absolutely, you know, And it's like it's situation dependent. I'm going to give you an eight and a half for this. You've done very well. I don't want to give you a ten, because I want to give you something to work towards and aspire to excellent.

job just talking. So what's your reason for wanting to do it?

something like can I ask you those questions? On the ones that were I think that's where we started, wasn't it.