I'll get a bloody champions. It's Craig Anthony harprov been told not to lean too close to the mic. Tiff yells at me, Melissa yells at me. Someone else who yelled. Patrick yelled at me the other day. Am I too loud, Kate? Or am I okay?
You're good?
Oh? Thank you? Also I'm an only child and any kind of approval is fantastic, So thank you, Kate. Save of course our resident dietitian, exose physiologist, business owner, genius. Other than that, she does fuck all. Also a wife, also a mum, also been on. Telly also works in the media here and there. She's a woman about town and she's a part of our team. Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay. But I am saying a lot of people at the moment really having meltdowns because they thought that this new year, the Chinese New Year. Have you heard people talking about this being the end of the snake and they shed and now it's the start of the horse and you're stronger and whatever else, And it hasn't started yet. But I feel like the turn of the year people were thinking just because it turned to twenty six instead of twenty five, the whole, everything would change,
it would all be different, and everyone feels disappointed. You know, it's hard right now for everyone.
It is spoken authorized by Kate's Save.
It is hard.
You heard it here first. Well hard.
You might need more fiber and you might be dehydrated the bruttin.
Next section, next section, you fuck around, you find out all that more with Kate Save. Like, I think I agree with you. I don't disagree with you, But I also think people there are a percentage of people, probably a big percentage, who also realize it's not going to magically happen. But I think you know, there is a group of people who go new year, new mindset, new start, new behaviors, new habits. Well, you know, here's the thing.
If you're not not bad or weak, just normal, whatever normal is, you're probably going to run out of motivation sometime in the first two weeks of the new year, or you're quite likely to. Or excitement or time or enthusiasm or whatever it was that created the momentum. I think with changing our body health, fitness, wellness, nutrition, optimizing us, whatever the fuck it is, the challenge is not to
get and stay motivated. The challenge and I'm sorry listeners, you've heard this too many times, but it's new for Kate. The challenge is to figure out how can I keep doing the work what I need to do to become the person I want to become when I don't feel like it, because that very human state of I don't feel like it. I'm not excited, My back hurt's a little bit, I'm a little bit flat, I'm a bit sad. My boss is a prick, and the motivation I had is gone for now. Anyway, The challenge is not to
get all of that back. The challenge is to keep going with the behaviors in its absence. It's like, as you say to all my athletes and clients, I don't care what you do when you're in the zone. I care what you do when you can't be fucked because that capacity to step up when most would give up. That's a superpower.
Absolutely. And the first thing that goes through my head when you say that is people are looking for a magic pill for whatever, and that is why they go so hard at something, and they go the hard way is not going to work. Give me the magic pill, and hence the weight loss medications that was the first thing when you said that, that popped into my head as if this will solve all my problems this year.
And it's not one thing for anything. There's you and I talked off air about building your dream house and picking the handles and the furnishings. And you think in two years, after you've built that house and put every little piece of your heart and soul in time, energy into picking everything, that the moment you walk in that door and you move in, you will have a wonderful life. But actually your health is still the same, your job's the same, your bank account's probably a lot less.
I don't know. Well, I mean I like that analogy because so we live in two places, this kind of we live in our body, we live in our home. But if we asked anyone what's more important, your house or your body, everyone's going to say, well, of course I can get another house. I can't get another body.
And again this is not to be a smart us, but it's just to say, well, how come you spend basically a year thinking about and planning and organizing and structuring and timetabling and allocating resources and having conversations and doing all of these things to build your best house, but you don't spend the day doing all that stuff to build your best body, you know. And it's so, why not the same way that you get proactive and productive and strategic and you know, creative about how you
build your home. What if you took that thinking and what if you know, like your home is a project that you're working on. What if you, in fact, what if we started a podcast called the You Project. What if you were the project? You know? What if your body? What if your mind? What if your habits, what if your behaviors, what if your exercise routine, what if your outcomes and results? What if the plan was built around all of those things or the project was focused on
those things. Like when it comes to our bodies, and this is me generalizing everyone, don't get pissed off. It's not everyone, but most of us are just emotional when it comes to our body because it's where we live, and emotions and physiology and psychology you're intertwined. But with a house, it's just a thing we're going to build, you know. So and yes we do get into emotionally intertwined with the place that we live as well, but yeah,
it's trying to how do I deconstruct this. So I'm just a lot more realistic and practical about how I build my optimal body, knowing that probably in a week or two I won't be motivated like I am now, which is not bad a week it's normal, it's human. How do I navigate that?
Oh? The first thing I think about there is new car feeling or new phone feeling as well, Like you think, you get the thing, and that little bit of joy, that dopamine, that pleasure, that reward that you have, it goes away. And that's how I feel about motivation. You have this pumped up energy to do something and then it slowly fades. I think the most important thing is habit.
And I was sitting at a dinner Thursday night, and someone next to me said, I'm so interested to see what you order for dinner because I'm a dietitian.
So welcome to it my life and yours. That's the one constant, if you're Kate or me, whenever you're in a public place eating, somebody wants to if not, somebodies want to look at your dinner.
Yeah, And so I try to pretend like I'm normal. I'm picking a normal choice. But Actually my brain is thinking about do I need more iron? Then I'll have red meat? How long since I go since I last had fishure, I haven't had fish a week? Oh no, you had tuny yesterday. Oh do I need more a mega threet. So my brain does think these things, right, it does it very quickly. But I'm never thinking about like, I'm not thinking about the calories in the food because
I actually don't believe calories matter. Calories are not a thing. They are a made up thing. Humans put food into a bomb calorimeter and you know, burnt it and then gave them an equivalent number of calories. I don't believe that that has a lot. It's certainly not the number one thing when it comes to how food affects our body. So I've talked a little bit about this in the past, but calories is not a thing that enters my mind. I am always thinking nutrients because I know that's what
my body needs to fuel, and I think macros. I do think protein because I know that's what's going to attain my muscle, and a bit of collagen in meat and you know, animal structures that's going to help my face stay up as I grow old.
Yeah, yeah, I down, that's right.
And anyway, so this guy said to me, are you going to have chips with your steak? And I said, well, if I feel like chips, I will have ten chips. He goes, why ten? And I said, look, that's my rule. And he goes, what do you mean there's rules? And I said, well, that's just a habit that I have. I can have chips whenever I want chips. I would never not have chips, but I have ten. And he goes, oh, what other rules do you have? I've said, well, if I have a vanilla slice, I'll have two giant bytes.
I have a very big mouth, two big big bites, and then I'll put the rest in the bin. So I had cheesecake for dessert, So what.
Do I have?
Two big spoonfuls of the cheesecake and then I don't go without anything. But I'd never sit there and fall into the trap of the dopamine drift, where just buy it after buy it after buy it, like you know the food is tricking, you don't fall for it. It's yeah, be smarter than the food.
Yeah, yeah, you don't have it.
You're going to be driven to have it if you say I can't have it. I can't have it the moment it's put in front of you, you inhaling and you don't even remember you ate it.
Yeah, yeah, I think I think one of the So when I say all this stuff I say everyone, I feel like I've got to rationalize, you know, just to give people context who don't know me. So I did over fifty thou pt sessions. I don't say that as a brag. It's not a brag. It's just my story. It's just where I've been and my staff did over twenty five years. Well, I actually don't know, but I
would think it would be significantly above two million sessions. Right, So I've been around hundreds of thousands of people who want to look different, feel different, function differently, and I put myself. I'm about to throw a group of people
under the bus, including myself in the group. I think the problem that I made, or that the mistake I made and many others made and make, is that when it comes to exercise and diet and all of these things which are relevant to everyone, we are more concerned with esthetics and appearance than we are with health and function. And so what happens is, and by the way, it's
an unclimbable hill. So I've worked with many I need to be careful, but I've worked with many people, men and women who are models, who work in the media, who've got high profiles, who are understandably are very aware of how they look, and also very aware that the better that you look, depending on what scale we use, the better that you do sometimes and the you know, the more desirability and appeal and marketability. And let's be honest,
dollars right, So you get taught by our culture. When people say looks don't matter, well, I agree with you. On a philosophical and a real world and a spiritual level, they don't. But in the marketplace they fucking do.
Oh you look at how they destroy actors that put on weight they love putting on the front of magazine. Look this is what she look like. Look at her now, Like, yes, we do as a society pull.
People down and yeah, and even down to you know people how they look now. Twenty years ago they look like this and now look they look like their grandmother. And so it's it's fucking horrible and it's nasty. But the problem remains, Like I nobody knows who this is
so I can say it. But I remember training a young lady who was a model, and I don't know how do we assess, but through my eyes it's like, okay, well, this human is about a nine and a half out of ten, and I would have put myself as a five, right, so this to give some context. And I wasn't terrible back in the day. Now I'm a rock solid. Now my one and a half, I'm alright with that. But when I first met her, I'm like, cheapest, this lady is attractive. And we chatted and like, why you're here?
She goes, oh and stands up and kind of just holds her arms out goes, why do you think. I'm like, I don't know what you're saying, but it's probably not what I'm saying. And she thought she was like, this is actually what she said. She goes, I'm fucking hidious,
And I'm like, oh my god. You know, obviously body dysmorphia and a whole lot of and so it took me a long time to help her get in a healthy place emotionally and mentally around how she looked, how she thought people saw her, evaluated her, rated her, appearance and beauty, and yeah, it's so hard. And when you grow up in a culture like Owls, which does despite what we say, away from the meaningless fucking words, in reality,
people get advantaged greatly. Sometimes the prettier or more handsome they are, right, Well, that teaches you a bad lesson because that means as soon as you start to be less desirable or attractive or pretty or handsome, you're not as valuable, or you're not as good or you're not as worthy. And that's that. So people, I know many people who have done things which are bad for their health, bad, not neutral, bad so that they would look better in
what you know. So I'm going to do a bad thing to my body which is bad for my health on a range of levels physical health, but it might make people think I'm more attractive, you know, And that is I'm not hating on those people. I'm just saying that's kind of the world we live in.
It is, and it is really sad too because even once we've done those things to our body, and you see all of the people that have done too much to their face and it's so disordered, but they think it looks better. And that's where you know, there's actually a dysregulation between what they're seeing and what everyone else is seeing. That strive for perfectionism, whether that is in the way you look or in health, is actually not good either, because there is no such thing as perfect health.
That's a scary thing too, because that leads to this thinking that there is this one super food, this one routine, this one something, and if you blow that out, it's disproportionate, when actually our body is so metabolically flexible if we are reasonably healthy, so if we try to be healthy, our body will compensate for everything else. So trying to be perfect is setting yourself up for failure. That'll lead to disappointment. I'll be perfect whatever, you know.
In all the thousands of PT sessions I've done over the years, almost nobody like a few, but very few people are happy with how they look, no matter how much they've changed. So the amount of times when for whatever reason, quite often I don't know if it's the
same because I don't weigh people anymore. But back in the day where everyone would get like a monthly or six weekly assessment, which would be you know, girth measurements, maybe on the scales, maybe but never more than once a month, and I'd explain to them what it meant and what it didn't mean, you know, so people would come in for better or worse. Back in the old days, anyway, nearly everyone said I want to lose this much. That's
why they were there at weight loss. And then they'd be like, if I could weigh sixty five kilos, that'd be awesome. I'll be so happy. I'd be like, I'd be good. If I got sixty five, I would be good. Life would be good. I would be happy, I myself steam and'd be better. All these things would happen they
get sixty five kilos. None of that's happened because it happened so slowly, and they see themselves every moment and they go, oh yeah, but look at this, look at that and that bits of their own body and squeeze it and show it to me. Right, I'm like, all right, so what are you thinking? And they'd be like sixty Like I go, I reckon, you're going to get sixty
and tell me fifty five? Oh no, no, no, of course that would happen, right, because and this is weird and deep and spiritual and philosophical, but I truly believe that we humans try and solve psychological and emotional and maybe spiritual issues with getting leaner or weighing less or looking to so we think that something physical will fix something emotional. So you know, it's like my story is, I was a big, fat kid, and I mean big,
and I mean fat, I mean morbally obese. And then I lost weight and I got in good shape, and then I was basically a runner and I was quite skinny. Then I went, yeah, well I'm not fat, which is good, but I'm skinny. Chicks don't dig skinny. And I would mind us a girlfriend time before I turned thirty, that'd be nice. And so then I started lifting weights. And then you know, I got to the point where I
was quite big, quite muscular, quite lean. I was as insecure as ever, like my insecurity did not disappear at all. And then so there was time where I couldn't be lean enough. Then there was a time where I couldn't be big enough, and where most people would panic if they didn't lose weight, I would panic if I didn't gain weight. When I was going through my body phase bodybuilding.
Phase, is there also a personality shift outwardly. And my example of that is I used to see a lot of people come through with the bariatric surgeon I was working with for weight or surgery, and one particular guy, he was a few hundred kilos and anything he tried, he was actually one one seventy got up to one eighty. We could never get him below really one seventy through any other meats, so he decided to have weight loss surgery. Not recommending him for anyone, no offense to anyone who's
had it, but it is life threatening. There's definitely a risk for it. And anyway, about two years later, he came to tap me on the shoulder and there's this tall, big lanky guy and I'm like hi, and he's like it's me. Do you remember me? And said he's name and I was like, my goodness, Like he was completely unrecognizable. So to me, he was a big, funny, happy guy. And now he was a really tall, skinny redhead like I don't even notice he had red hair, Like he
was just this completely different person. And I said, wow, how do you feel like all that pressure off your joints? And are you like how have you done this? You walk every day exercising. He goes, oh, I feel a bit insecure, and I go, what do you mean? And he goes, well, I'm not the funny fat guy. I'm just you know, I'm not used to being in this body.
And I was like, I've never heard anyone like people play roles, and you see people in movies where they think they're the funny fat person or they are right, that's a role in a movie, but then when they're skinny, they're like, well, I can't be that person. And that personality shift that happened with that and that insecurity. I'm like, you're still you, You're still funny. He goes, but I don't feel funny like. And I thought that was weird.
It wasn't just on the outside, it was who he thought he had to be and then couldn't be or didn't know how to be that anymore.
So do you want to hear my theory?
Yeah?
So my theory is that we our personality and our identity and our sense of self who we are is very intertwined with what we look like with our body. And so when the big fat guy who always get laughs gets last, he's the jolly guy. He's the life of the party. It's big bloody Brian again. He's just crushing it and he's funny and everyone goes, oh, mate, glad you're here and whatever, and then you don't have any kind of significant albeit probably not one he wanted,
but then yeah, you can. It's been interesting for me as I've gotten older, getting a much leaner version of me, which is good for me, but my ego doesn't like it. It's not like I'm skinny, oh no, oh no, my ego wants me towagh ninety five and be hard as a cat's head and have veins in my fucking eyelids. That's what my ego wants, right. But yeah, I'm getting older, like I'm still have a fair bit of muscle for my age. I'm very lean and all of that. But
I got on the scales yesterday. Absolute truth. I don't even want to say it, but I'm just going to say it because it's true. I hope none of my main male dude friends are listening. I weighed seventy eight point five. Now for me, that is lame.
Is that really low? Oh?
That's hysterically low for me.
Yeah, I was going to say that. I never guessed that by.
Look yeah most yeah, yeah, most of the last ten to fifteen years. Eighty five ish and quite lean. Yeah, I've been a bit cook lately, so I think that hasn't helped. But yeah, and you know, lots on a bit of stress and sleeplessness and all that shit. But yeah,
I my ego doesn't like it. But if you look at me in a pair of shorts and a singlet, yeah it's compared to some people anyway, I'm in quite good shape, right, But yeah, it's like it's funny because but I realized this isn't a problem, this is just a perception.
Yes, I had exactly the same conversation with a girlfriend who was feeling unsexy, and I'm like, you are, so I'm not hitting on her. I have a husband and a family. She's so sexy, And I'm like, this is You've got to realize this is in your head. You have not changed. You need to drop that thought that she's like I can't get a boyfriend because I'm not sexy. I'm like, oh my goodness, where did that thought come from. I'm like, you just need to watch more. I don't know.
I taught her to watch some rom coms and some funny Netflix things, and there's Younger on Netflix where the lady's like forty something, and you know these things that make you laugh at yourself. You laugh at the character and then you go, oh, I had that thought too. That thought's not real. I take yourself so seriously and like it's an idea we put in our head. But it's not real. Like you said, no one else would see that on you, only you.
And can I tell you a funny story. So when I was in my late twenties, had this friend, like I was never fucking Brad Pitt, let's be clear, but I was always good on the gob right. I could talk shit, I can make people laugh. I could build rapport, you know, guys and girl girls old and young, you know, not necessarily trying to you know, woo anyone, but just talking right. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't use the first term that came into my mouth. But anyway, I had
this friend who was stupidly good looking. Stupidly good looking. I mean, I love going out with him, but I fucking hated it because I was socially invisible, right, I was just like the fucking ugly dumb brother. But him just good looking, but when he would talk to girls like oh my god, shush shush, and he just was awkward and clunky and beautiful, like an amazing guy. But just one of my other friends said, he's so amazing till he talks.
Yep.
Yep. I've met those guys too. I'm like, oh, bro, and I had to. And then he got this. He met this girl. They became a thing. I knew her quite well and she's like, is he a good dude? I'm like, he's great. He's a great dude. He's a little bit clunky but clungster on the socializing and that She's like, what do you mean. I'm like, ah, she will find out. And he was just so keen to
please yep. And it's such a good dude that it's like, Bro, you mose will get a T shirt that says desperate all over the front front of it because I know that's not your intention, but that's that's the energy you're giving off. And ladies aren't attracted to desperate. Yeah. And so way, he came over to my joint one day. We were hanging out and he was asking me stuff right, and I said, okay, tell me how often you call her? So mobile phones were out, so it must have been
I guess late nineties. Tell me how often you phone her? And he's like, uh, give me a phone. And it was in the arvo. It already called her like ten or twelve times. I'm like, Okay, that's not going to work, bro, And I said, and if she texts, he would text thirteen seconds later back. I might give it a bit of a spell, you know, just just I'm not trying to be cunning, but I'm like, just try to understand. This is my PhD. Try to understand the you experience
for her. Try to understand what all this. I know that you're keen and you want to impress her. That's not a thing. That's a good thing, but you also need to try to understand that your intention is not her experience, and your very good intention might produce a very bad experience and outcome. Right, like she might go
fucking way too needy. I need whatever a manny man is that I need one of them, right, So it's that, Yeah, And I've had the we're digressing now, but I've had the same thing where not in looks and that, but when I would get feedback from students when I talk taught academically, and one of the bits feedback was, you know, like great, good, we like him, stuff's good, but he's kind of scary or is intimidating. And I'm like, ah, first, one second, one a third, one oh fourth one oh.
You know. And out of I don't know, one hundred and fifty students in my first year of teaching exercise science, like probably more than ten, it wasn't insignificant, like oh, what do I do that? Because that is obviously not my intention and not my awareness. So I was the problem, So they weren't the problem. Like when ten people say the same thing, it's definitely got something to do with you. But that's part of the whole who am I and how am I? For me? And who am I and
how am I for them? It's like, you know, which is why it's called metaperception, which is understanding you for them. So yeah, and that kind of insects with all kinds of things, even in the health and wellness space, you know, like the way that you teach people about nutrition and bah blah blah, the way that you teach not what you teach, but the way that you teach will be way more influential than the contents.
Makes perfect sense. And I see when you said that. I went to an example where I got some feedback about my personality that I'm aware of lots of different things. And I've said this before. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I say what I'm thinking all the time.
I talk a.
Lot, and I don't have any body image issues, so I need to be super sensitive around everyone else because I don't know what they're thinking at that time. So I can be really annoying to people that are having body image issues. And anyway, this particular male said to me, can I let you know you now for I don't know a year, and you just come across so cold to me. I think you know that you need to work on this. I was like cold, and he's like, you know, like so cold, And I'm like, is that
my defense mechanism around men? So I never feel like I'm putting myself out there because I'm married and have kids and whatever else, Like, I wouldn't think I was ever cold. And I was absolutely shocked that this guy thought I was so cold.
Okay, now let me stop you. The question is not am I cold? The question is do people perceive me as cold? And then the next question is why am I intimidating? Well, I guess to some I very much try not to be. Are you Do I think, as objectively as I can about you, that you're cold? No, I've never even never even entered my mind. Do I think that some people could see you as that? Well, clearly because it's happened. So it's you know, to sorry.
To take things that are personal about you, to not take them personally is very difficult, especially when you know, like you're you, You're in the media, your face is out and about. You've got a profile, You've got an ego, I've got an ego. We all think we're a bit better than we are. I think I'm you know, I'm I do think you're amazing. By the way, that wasn't
an insult, but I just think that. I just think that. Yeah, of course, of course, you know, like the idea around I'll shut up after this, I realize I'm over talking, But the idea around you know, needing to be right. Like I had a revelation a few years ago and it was like, well, of course, I'm wrong. Of course I get multiple things wrong. Like how many things have I gotten wrong in the past since I was, say, a young adult till now, well, probably hundreds of thousands,
definitely tens of thousands. So why would I think I'm right today? Or why would I assume I'm right? I might say, well, this is what I think, but I could be wrong. You know, if I'm saying two plus two is four, I'm sure I'm right. But if I'm saying the meaning of life is this, I'm not sure. So this is what I think about that particular topic or question. But could I be completely wrong, yes, Could I be a bit right, yes? Could I be totally right yes, not likely.
And I think that whole perception thing of other people and how they perceive you. You make me knowing what you study and the way that you think. I think, Okay, what made them think that? Because it's not necessarily about me if I haven't had that feedback from anyone else, But what is it about them that makes them think that about me? And the way that you talk always makes me go oh, it's their experiences that are shaping their experience with me, not necess necessarily what I'm.
Doing Okay, you're exactly right. So for our listeners, a really easy way to comprehend this is so all of us have been programmed from birth to or whenever. You could comprehend anything to listening to this podcast right now. You now, as you listen, you've got certain beliefs and ideas and values, and maybe theology, maybe philosophy, maybe spirituality.
You've got certain genetics, you've got a certain body, You've got certain friends and family, you went to a certain school, You pay attention to certain social media and mainstream media. You have ideas and beliefs and biases. All of us do, including man Kate. Now, all of that stuff metaphorically forms the window through which you observe the world. But the problem is there's eight billion windows and they're all different. So Kate's window is not mine. So Kate thinks that
she's looking at something objectively when she is not. She is looking through a lifetime of programming and conditioning and labeling and storytelling. So Kate sees not the thing, but rather her version of the thing, as does Craig. So if you want to go, well, how the fuck do we Well? Can we be objective? No, we can't. There's a little bit of an exception. But no, we can't be objective because everything we look at we're looking through our lens, so we see our version of what is right.
But then the next question is, or the next perhaps part this is how do I be more evolved in this space? How do I open the door to real awareness and real consciousness? Like taking a step up the consciousness ladder is realizing that I am a miss a world inside a macro world. So my world is my thoughts, my ideas, my beliefs, my values, my biology, physiology, you know, my genetics. Like that's the world that I live in.
I live on planet, Craig, and everything else is another you know, planet or star kind of circulating around me or weigh from me. And so it's understanding that now, Craig, you don't see the world objectively because you're not objective. Everything that you look at is a subjective interpretation or a subjective experience. So the closest that we can get to objectivity is not real, but it's closer is when Kate tells me something about something I've never heard of,
I don't understand. I don't have a preconceived idea, I don't have any opinion, and she starts to tell me about this area that she has a lot of knowledge in and I have none, you know, but I might have a pre conceived idea that Kate's full of shit. So I'm like, this is all bullshit, you know. So, but it's an interesting area of the human experience to open the door.
On it is very much so, very much so.
And also also just for you, I know, I talk too much. Apologize everyone like you understanding how other people think. Like you've got business partners if not, yeah, you have, and employees and friends, and you've got to you've got to make deals. You've got to sell products. You've got to navigate conversations and meetings and problem solving and conflict resolution. You've got to build connection, rapport, trust, respect with people. Now,
the superpower in there is knowing how they think. Because if you know how they think, then you know how to talk. You know their language, you know their reference points, you understand their cognitive landscape. You understand what they think and maybe what they're seeing. And in science, that's or in psychology that's theory of mind, and that yeah, that's just when you start to think more about how they think than what you think. Then you can really go to another level.
And I love that too because I think it throws all of the business jargon that's in business books on its head a little bit too. Because every single person you employ, supplier relationship, or anyone in business that you deal with you there is no specific way to deal with it. There is no textbook way of exactly what you need to do and say and the dot points that you will learn about in business, because it actually comes down to the relationship you can build with the individual.
Nothing else matters. If you can't build the relationship with the individual, it probably doesn't matter how good your product is, because at some point in time, someone else is going to come along that builds a stronger a life relationship, and that human at the end of the day has
emotions that will be pulled in another direction. So I always focus on building the relationships because even if that you don't do the deal in the organization this person is in today, wherever they go next, they will think of you and you will be top of mind. I think even with employees, no matter what happens, if it doesn't work out, I always try my very best to keep the relationship, and if there is a ugly exit, then try and repair the relationship because something is about
an objective thing at work. Maybe it's a mistake, a seventy thousand dollars double spreadsheet mistake, and I'm very forgiving. I've had lots of these things over the years. However, when you repeat those mistakes several times, I don't dislike you as a person. I think you have many incredible qualities, but this role no longer suits you, and we don't
have other roles. So I am so careful with every relationship for everyone I meet, because I find that the world goes around and you come across them again, or you work with their husband or their wife, or their brother or sister, or whoever it might be. And that is the number one thing that I think I've learned in business over the last twenty something years, is to work on your relationships more so than anything else. Yeah, before you sell, before you whatever you're doing.
Well, Unlike you. There are people that I don't like. I'm like now, but I don't tell them that, and I don't think they're necessarily bad people. I just don't want them in my life. I wouldn't be mean to them. I wouldn't run them down. In fact, if I could help them get ahead inside, I would. But there are just people that I go, I don't want you in my life. I wish you all the best, but I don't want to spend time talking to you, or don't want to hang out with you. I don't respect the
way that you think. Or it's like, oh whatever, there's just shit chemistry or but that's okay. And I'm absolutely positive there are people who feel the same about me, and I'm I'm completely cool. I'm like, of course, like sometimes I don't like me, and I fucking am me. So I don't blame you. And I also know that my personality and my directness and my bluntness ain't for everyone, and I get it, you know. And that I had
a session the other day. I can't say much, but it was with a new coaching client, a corporate coaching client. And you know these sessions that companies pay for that it's not like a dollar fifty session, like they're not giving this well, let's be honest, I'm not giving it away, right, So So anyway, I met with this person and they're like it was on zoom and Firstly, they weren't keen to do it at all. They weren't keen and they said that, and I didn't blame them because it wasn't
about me. I could have been that never met me and anyway showed up and we're like, I'm like, let's just go with Champ. I might get a champ. What's going on? Had to chat and a lot of people like, oh, how does this work? Do you do a disc profile? Do you to do a personality? Do you send me shit? I fill out twenty pages of shit, I send you back, you analyze that. I send it back, You analyze the shit, then you come up with it. I go fuck all that. That is way too hard and I'm too lazy. And
the person's like, oh, what do we do? I go, will you talk to me? Then I talk to you, and then you talk back, then I talk back. We do that for an hour and then we kind of fuck off, you know, and you might go this is good. I like it and we'll do another one, or you might go not for me and we won't do another one. Has that and they're like that's great. I'm like, yeah, I'm not the arm twister. Well, firstly, if you don't
like me, I want to be coached by me. That's fine. Also, I don't want to coach you if you don't want to be coached. And I understand that. So we did an hour and that dude and by the way, hand on heart, just a good guy. It doesn't matter, no one knows who is. I like him, I actually really like him. And I'm like, this dude could be my friend.
You know, I know what the difference is. When I said build relationships, she went to or I don't like everyone. I didn't say I like them. It's connecting, That's what it is. It's right.
How do you.
Build a human connection? And there are many people that think they have nothing in common with me whatsoever. My challenge when I meet someone is to find a human connection. Whether it's we both have cat, our mums both died, we both had kids, we both had a natural birth.
Who knows what it is, but there will be a human connection where you connect, and it doesn't mean you have to like the person, but once you've got that connection, So maybe relationship is not the same word, but yeah, my challenge, no matter who it is, is to build a connection. And sometimes you know you have that instant where people you feel like your hairs prick up and
they're not your person. That's the person that I really try and find a human connection with, because I think that's the challenge for me is we are all human and on some level we will have something in common. Don't know what that is, and when you find that, you actually unlock the key to communication for whatever it is you need to do or get from this person, you can communicate better. But if unlocking that.
Connection, I will also say, just quickly, like there's been lots of people I've worked with over the years that I didn't really like them, and eventually I actually liked them. So was I the problem? Yeah? Like sometimes of course, like I can't go, we don't get on. Here's the problem. I'm not the problem. Ah, that's just your ego champ,
you know. And sometimes there wasn't really a problem, just like I don't you know, like there are people that I need to spend time around because of my job, because of my work, because of a situation, because of a circumstance, because of a some kind of commitment I've got. That's cool. They would not know I didn't like them, and I would never express that, but then where you go, well, this is kind of not work, this is no, this is just my life over here. This is me and
do I no, don't you know? But when I see that person, I would tend to be a good version of me if I could. I've got a jam. We still didn't talk about what we're going to talk about, but we'll come back. Kate and I are going to come back. I'll say this now so you know. And we did a good I think we did a good job last time talking about strength training and being in the gym and all of that, but we didn't really remember both of us qualified in the exo science slash
physiology space. But we didn't talk about cardio much. So we're going to We're going to regroup and not get distracted as I always caused us to get distracted, and we'll unpack our thoughts around the how's, whis, why not, what to do? What not to do? Benefits and not just physical but of cardio so hard stuff. Is that all right with you? Miss?
Sounds great looking forward to it.
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Sure is, You're the best kite save. Thank you so much, Friends and family, Thank you so much. We will be back sometime in the future. Over and out from the You Project.