I'll get eighteen. How are you oh good? Really? Oh good? Anyway, I hope you will. I want to talk to you about something today that I talk about pretty frequently, something that I have had to deal with and acknowledge and navigate myself. And that, of course, you know, is self sabotage. That is the old the process of getting in one's own way, of shooting oneself in one's foot, of being the fucking problem in one's own situation. So anyway, we do that, we do that a lot. We get in
our own way. We don't intend to get in our own way. We don't want it, we don't want to get in our own way, we don't plan it, but we do it. And we can't fix what we can't understand, and we can't fix what we don't acknowledge. We're not going to fix in inverted commas this in ten seconds, because we're always probably going to do a version of it to some extent. But I guess, like many other things,
slow down, harps. I guess, like many other things, it's it's addressing it, and it's turning down the volume on it and doing less of it. We're not aiming for perfection. We're aiming for growth and development and improvement. So I want to run through with you the ways that I have or pretty much all of these I've done. I don't know about you, but I think you might. If you put on your big boy slash big girl pants and be super brave, you might hear some of you.
You might recognize some of you, hear some of your story in what I'm about to share. So I want to go through. I just want to think out loud about all of this stuff. I don't know that there are going to be any standalone, universally appropriate solutions, per se. But we can't get better at the thing that we, like I said, understand or won acknowledge. So it starts with talking about it, starts with acknowledging, it starts with trying to understand it. When we understand it, we can
start to do something about it. So let's just recover what I term. I don't know what the dictionary says. I didn't look it up. I don't know what the interwebs or chat GPT or bloody claude or any of those, hey I say. But for me self, sabotage is that thing that I see all of the time, and I mean fucking daily, where somebody has a story or a habit or a behavior or a way of doing or being or thinking or operating which is essentially stopping them
from getting where they want to go. It is stopping them or inhibiting them from being their best self, whatever that means physically, mentally, emotionally, professionally, personally, sociologically, intellectually, academically, whatever it is. But it's when we are doing something or perhaps not doing something. So we're doing a thing or we're not doing a thing, and the doing of that thing, or the avoidance of that thing that we should be doing is get out your pens and papers.
Fucking us up. It's that process of fucking oneself up or getting in one's own way that we don't want to. So at the top of my list, not because it's the most important, but the top of my list, on my little page in front of me, is overthinking. We all overthink. It is not a terrible thing, It is not a sign of weakness or being flawed or hopeless or useless. Is very much part of the human experience.
But I think the thing about overthinking is to try to recognize it and then lean into it, like, what is the thing that I am overthinking? Why am I overthinking that thing? How can I understand that? What is the underlying driver or cause? And can I address that? Because while the overthinking is in and of itself a problem, it is also a symptom or a byproduct of something else.
So generally, when we talk about overthinking, we're talking about obsessing about something, or focusing on something, or replaying something, agonizing over something that has happened, or something that we are fearful of happening. So there's often with overthinking, there's often an underlying cause that links to fear, that links to something that we are afraid of happening. And so that is again, no, I can't say to you, hey,
you're an overthinker. Stop overthinking, right because, like I said, the overthinking, the rumination, the obsession, the mental chaos, the groundhog danus of repetition of that story replaying in your mind. I can't say stop that, just like I can't say to you, you know, be taller, of course, but well, I guess as opposed to height, we can actually manipulate the contents of our mind and the operating system of our mind over time, and so it starts with recognizing
the things. So for example, for example, I used to overthink the fact that I wasn't good enough. I had extreme self doubt about many things. And so when I started personal training, even though I had already worked in the fitness industry for five or six years before I did my first personal training client, the fact that I was only twenty three or two twenty four years old,
I felt insecure. I was fearful of being embarrassed. I was overthinking the fact that they might figure out that I wasn't good enough or smart enough, or qualified enough, or knowledgeable enough or competent enough to be well one to get them where they wanted to go, to help them achieve their outcomes and goals. Because fuck, I'm a twenty three year old kid from La Trivalley. What the fuck do I know? I didn't even have a degree at that stage. I was essentially did I have some
knowledge and experience? Well, yeah, I had five years of knowledge and experience in that space, but I essentially thought I knew fuck all. Upon reflection, your honor, I probably knew a bit, but then not that much. But I constantly got in my own way with this overthinking and this kind of fear of rejection or embarrassment or being
found out, how did I overcome that. I started to think about the fact that I started to realize that although I was only twenty three or twenty four, the people that I was working with, although they were forty forty five, fifty, some of them thirty five, which to me, when you're twenty three, thirty five is a fucking dinosaur. And they were smart, and they were successful, and they owned companies, and some of them had a little bit
of profile and all of that. But what I realized was, in the context of the gym, I was actually smarter than them. In the context of the gym, I was more competent than them. I knew more. I had more
skill and knowledge and understanding and awareness. So as I started to lean into the thing that I was scared of and I tried to understand it, I realized that it was a fear that was probably reasonable, definitely not necessary, and one that had really been created by something in me, rather than any kind of external need or any external experience or situation. Because the truth was, despite the fact that I was overthinking the shit out of it, I
didn't demonstrate that to my clients. Of course, I was like the little fucking duck that was all calm on the surface above the water, but you know, crazy underneath it. But over time I tried to separate the anxiety and the emotion around that to actually see the data, and the data was I was producing pretty good results and
most of my clients were pretty happy. All right, So let's go to self doubt and self loathing, the experience of not feeling good enough or feeling like crap arm a piece of crap, I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough. That's also pervasive. That's most of us at some stage. I don't think it's most of us most of the time, but I think it's nearly all of us some of the time where we have that experience. And this ties into what I was just talking about
with overthinking. They'd probably intersect. But you know, this self doubtness, self kind of loathing, it can come out of an experience, or it can just be a projection that we have.
It might be a result of the way that we've been programmed or spoken to, or the environment that we grew up in, or a situation or a circumstance or a social group or a school or peers where we were made to feel not enough or not smart, or not something enough, and then that imprints on our version of how we see the world and how we see
us in the world. And while well that is understandable, that becomes a big problem, That becomes a big form of self sabotage when we believe that story, when we believe that story, and this requires courage that we challenge those stories. And so if I feel I'm not good enough, for example, self doubt or self loathing, that's okay, But I also need to be brave enough to go maybe that's not true. Or have I tried? Have I done everything possible? Have I really explored my talent and my
potential and my possibilities? Have I really made hard decisions, done hard things? Have I really really tried to exploit what I have to? And generally the answer is no, I haven't. And that's because of that fear based self doubt and self loathing, that irrational kind of internal dialogue of I'm not enough, which keeps me trapped on the wrong side of the door, so I never open the door and step into my power and possibilities because my
story that I believe. Remember, we talk all the times about all the time about what is your story, Where did the story come from? What's the underlying kind of mechanism for that story? Usually fear, self doubt, self loathing, all of that stuff, of course, And then is that
story actually true or do I just think it's true? Now, if you actually have a lot of ability, or you have more ability than you know, or more potential than you know, and more possibilities than you know, but you never even entertain the thought that that could be possible, then that becomes your ceiling. Your ceiling in this instance
is not what's possible for you. That's not your ceiling what is actually possible for you, but rather your understanding of or belief about what is possible for you, Which is why we see people go through their whole life living in a self created psychological and emotional and behavioral
prison where they never get out of that prison. Not because they don't have the potential for freedom or for growth, or for improvement, or for success or for joy, but because for a range of usually fear based let's talk about fear in a moment, but fear based reasons they stay in there. You have to remember, right, with all of this stuff, there's what's going on in the world, and then there's our version of what's going on in the world. So there's the thing, and then there's my
story of the thing. You and I are around a situation or event, you and me, and the thing happens, and then there's you over there and you're watching it, and I'm watching it, and you're telling yourself a story about what's going on, and I'm telling myself a story about what's going on. So you're in your self created reality about that external event or situation or stimulus, and I'm over here in my story, which is my reality.
So there's your reality, my reality, then the objective data or the objective reality of what the fuck is actually going on outside of your story and my story. And being able to understand ourselves and understand the way that the world works. One what is objectively happening, and then two to understand how we subjectively and often unconsciously and
unknowingly navigate this objective reality through our subjective lens. That is our brain, that is our mind, that is our filter, that is our beliefs, that is our ideas, that is our biases while not actually in the moment realizing that we're even fucking looking through that lens. That's why we think our reality is the reality. And so this is crucial for us, is to is to even to begin to recognize that we are running a program. You know, your brain is the hardware, Your brain is the hard drive.
I should say, I'm not a computer guy, so if I fuck up this analogy a little bit. But the program is the software that's been punched into your brain and your mind and your physiology. And sometimes we grow up running a program that we didn't choose. We're running someone else's program. That person who said to you your shit a thousand times, and now you believe that your shit. Well, the truth is you are not shit. But also the truth is you think you are, or you believe you are.
So guess what you live in. You live in this self created and influenced by others, of course, But this self created story, or this self created belief that is in itself a form of self sabotage. Now that's no criticism from me to you. We can't overcome the things that we don't see. And so if we don't know, like if I don't know, if Craig Harper doesn't know that he is looking at the world through a lens, I'm not looking at the world. I'm looking at a
version of the world that I create. I am looking through the lens, or through the window, or through the filter, or whatever fucking metaphor you want to use. I'm looking through something. And what is that something that lends that window,
that filter? What is that built of? That is built of all of the shit that's in my mind, my ideas and beliefs and fears and phobias and bullshit and biases and likes and dislikes and faith and religious programming and experiences and relationships and self doubt and all of that fucking in turn, and all kind of stuff that that shapes and influences and to a degree controls what I'm seeing and how I am making meaning of and interpreting what goes on outside my head. And you're doing
the same. You're doing the same. You've been programmed. I've been programmed. Some of the programming has been good for some of us. Some of us had really good programming. We got programmed with great shit. Some of it was somewhat neutral or innocuous, and some of it was really fucking limiting and debilitating and horrible. I didn't have any of the horrible. I had some that wasn't so good, But I know some of you had the horrible. And if we could wave a wand and that would be
all undone and gone, we would do that. But we can't. And so what we do is we acknowledge what is was it isn't now now. That doesn't fix it or change it, but just being able to start to see you. My question to you is where does your programming finish? And where do you start? Where are you the critical, beautiful, amazing conscious, critical thinking, amazing, beautiful human right Where are you? And where is that programming? Where's the space between you
and it? Because you don't have to be it, You don't have to become it. You don't need to continue to be a version of your programming. You can change your mind, you can learn new things, you can unlearn old things, you can detox your brain and your mind. It is an easy, quick, fun or painless, but you can fucking do it, and a lot of you want to do it, which is why you listen to this. I am not the answer to anything or for anybody. Of course, I am just a guy who talks about
these things. The answer is not Craig Harper or any individual. The answer, well, there is an individual and you are the answer. The individual is you. The individual is you, and you think about this. How many people listen to, for example, me talk. Let's say one hundred people come and hear me talk. And let's say I kill it. Let's say I'm on this particular day, I'm fucking flying, I crush it, I'm wise, I'm funny. The story is a great, the information it's great. Most of what gets
said is kind of broadly relevant to the group. It's a bit inspiring, it's a bit fucking interesting. There's some awesome science. And let's say that a hundred people out of one hundred people can take away significant stuff on that day. Let's also say that one hundred people that showed up actually want to do, be and think different.
They came because they wanted to change. Now, with all of those things that I just said, how many lives and how many people will actually change off the back of that day, like I mean changed, not like a bit of a momentary change of direction, and back on the status quo or back into that operational or psychological or neural groove, like that brain groove that we just
that habitual groove that we live in. But how many people will actually really fucking change even though everyone said I want to change, I want to think different, I want to be different, I want to do different. I don't have a number for you, but I do I do know that the number would be somewhere between zero and fucking three or four. Despite the fact right now, let's say three people change their life after this three hour encounter with Craig Harper. Did I do that? I
sure didn't. And am I responsible for the ninety seven that didn't change their life? I'm sure not. I didn't do it. I didn't do it either way. I was just a guy who showed up and said a lot of stuff. And then you the listener, you the attendee, you the viewer, whatever the thing is, or the one hundred people or the person watching the video or the person on YouTube, or the person doing the PhD or the person reading the book or the person on the end of the podcast. Always it comes down to what
we do. What we do. Yes, we've got to know stuff, Yes we need the odd support system and you know, the odd pad on the back. But it still comes down to what we do. And you know, the hard truth is that it's like stuff happens to us that kind of sucks and isn't fair and isn't nice. And we're not pretending that it's easy. It fucking isn't easy. And that's the truth. It's not easy to change your life.
And this is not a very smart thing for me to say, because a lot of people really want us to say, oh, you can fucking do anything and be anything and anything. Well, that's not true either. That's bullshit. That's just self help, fucking fairy floss that people think will sell programs and books and whatever. It isn't true. Can most people do more than they're currently doing and achieve better than they're currently achieving? I believe so yes?
Are you probably in that majority? Probably? Yes? Can you do fucking anything? No? Can I do anything? No? Can I do a lot more? Yeah? Can you do a lot more? Can you be braver? Can you make harder decisions? Can you get out of your own way? Can you stop procrastinating? Can you stop chasing pleasure? Can you stop wasting your potential? Can you stop being a perfectionist and inventing problems? Can you be a lifelong learner? Can you
be the person who stops avoiding things? Can you be the person who doesn't start and stop thirteen times the same process? Yes, you can. You can be that, You can do that, you can change that, you can become. That is that easy? No Ah, I'm out? Then, see this is the problem. Everyone's all fucking you know, rah rah, Let's walk on fucking hot coals and let's pump the smoke screen and get the rock music going, and let's high five each other, and let's be all fucking positive
until until the bullshit fades and we go okay. So the next six months for me is going to be uncomfortable at times, or the next three months, or this thing that I need to do to live my values, remember my values, those things I identified, Well, the things that I need to do are not the things I want to do. And the things that I need to do won't be fun or quick or easy or painless. I have this real obsession with instant gratification and pleasure
in the moment and hedonism. I love self indulgence, I love dopamine. Fucking cascading through my brain. I love that. I just want to feel good, and I'm going to just do whatever the fuck feels good. And then I'm fifty and I'm fucked because what I've been doing for twenty years is just whatever feels good in the moment. Because I can't delay gratification. I can't wait, I can't get out of my own way. So I am self sabotaging with hedonism. I am self sabotaging with this drive
for instant gratification and pleasure. I can't I can't fucking wait. I can't wait. And this is what we the collective. We not all all of us and not all of the time, but a lot of us do. We need to stop avoiding things that we should start. We need to practically acknowledge what is well? What is is? I am at least part of the problem. I need to take my head out of the sand. I need to be brave. Yes, I'm scared. Guess what. Welcome to the world's biggest club. Put up your hand. If you're in
the I Get Scared club. That's fucking every human because we all get scared. Guess what. Courage can only operate in the presence of fear? Is that a lame fucking cliche things say don't care? Is it true? Absolutely true? Do you want to be If you were in front of me and I said to you, do you want to be courageous? I'm almost positive that every one of you would say, Yeah, I want to be courageous, Which is not to say I want to be fearless, which is not say I feel brave, which is not to
say I don't get scared every day. It's not to say that. It's to say I want to be courageous. Well, I'm telling you you being courageous is part of the solution. You allowing fear and overthinking and self loathing and self doubt to run your life. That is you self sabotaging, That is you letting something other than your potential contry things, manage things. We need to you need to. I need to stop waiting for the mystical, mythical, magical right time.
We need to stop avoiding and procrastinating and waiting and telling ourselves stories about the thing that we're going to do for fucking ten years, and then we look up and it's years later and we're still not doing the thing that we've been talking about doing, but a lightbulb never comes on where we go, Oh, hang on the problem as me, because the problems always for some people,
the problems always anything except them. If there's any way I can blame someone or something for what I'm not doing, for what I'm not addressing, for what I'm not owning up to, then I will blame something or someone else because that takes the spotlight off me, and I don't want the spotlight off me. And by the way, Craig, fuck you, you don't understand my situation. Giddy up and now it's another five years. We don't need to beat ourselves up. We don't need to be self loathing. We
just need to be self aware. We need to be brave, we need to be courageous. We need to own up to our own bullshit. Things don't work themselves out. I fell off the wagon. No, you didn't fall and there is no wagon. You made a decision to do something, and then you did the something. That is a critically thought through and a conscious process where you made a decision, you did a thing, and there was a consequence to that. I'm not insulting you or criticizing you. I am acknowledging
what is real. What is real is that there is no metaphoric or literal fucking wagon that you fell off. What is real is that and I've done it? Have I eaten food? Have I made decisions? Have I spoken to people in a way that or have I been inconsistent with my goals and my intentions? Yes? I have. Did somebody make me do it? No? Was it was anything or anyone the problem other than me? No? Are their challenges? Yes? Are their speed, humps and bumps? Yes?
Are there? Are there things that complications that went? Yes? Fuck? Yes? Is it easy? Fuck? No? Of course? Of course it's hard. Of course, people get sick. Of course, people will bully you. Of Course, shit is unfair. Of course, it's going to rain when you want it to be sunny. Of Course, it's going to be fuck fucking dark when you want it to be light. Of course, this is the messiness
of life. But if you wait, and I wait till everything's fucking great, till it's sunny, till the birds are chirping, the bees are buzzing, there there is no problem. There is no mess, there is no mayhem, there are no obstacles. You'll be dead, and I'll be dead and you will have done fuck all. And you know that, you know that, you know some of you maybe you're the exception to this. And if you are the exception, then genuinely, fucking I'm
jealous and I'm proud of you. But if you like me, and you like most people, you're wasting something right now. You're wasting your potential, or you're wasting your genetics, or you're wasting your time or some of your time. You're not developing and exploring what you have to work with. You're not optimizing your genetics or your courage, or your intelligence or your creativity. You're not You're not even close. You're wasting that. And there's some story somewhere that's stopping
you from doing that. I guess I'm not going to bang on too much longer, but I mean one it's going to apologize. Do I need to apologize? Okay, well, maybe I don't need to apologize, but I just want to say my intention with these episodes, with these solo ones is and I know I bang on and there may be a bit of repetition I apologize, but is that I want to help you to understand yourself I want to encourage you and support you that you are
the answer I want. I want you know if you listen to me, and if you connect with me and you follow me because you want to be a better version of you, then then it is my intention to be real with you, to be practical with you. To you know, as I've said many times, if you never buy a book, if you never come to a workshop, if you never spend one cent in the world of Craig Harper, you have just as much of my my
commitment and energy and integrity as anyone. As anyone I don't give a flying fuck if you never buy anything. But if you listen to me and you follow me and you respect me, one, thank you. You don't need to that's a choice. But two, I genuinely I feel my calling is to do what I'm doing right now. My calling is not to make money. I need to make money because that's how the world works, and go pays the bills and motorbikes aren't free, of course, we
know that. But you know, maybe maybe this podcast is an opportunity for you to to do a little bit of a stock take and to maybe think about a few things that I've said, and to maybe bravely try to identify some of the ways specifically that you are getting in your own way, that you are self sabotaging,
that you are you know. Another one just popped into my mind, which I still do sometimes but far less, but the way that you people please the way that I people please, Please love me, please like me, please accept me, please let me belong. And then it's in all of that neediness and that anxiety and that drive to be part of something that's bigger than me and to be recognized and loved and accepted, that I compromise my own fucking self. I become a patch of a
group rather than just me. It's like, how about this. I'm just going to live my values. I'm still going to be a thoughtful person and a kind person. I'm not going to be a fucking island in the middle of humanity. I'm not going to be that. But I'm not going to pretend to be something to fit into your group. And I'm not going to agree with you just for the sake of agreeing with you. If I don't agree with you, that doesn't mean I'm right and you're wrong, or I'm good and you're bad. That just
means we don't think the same on that. And guess what, that's fucking okay. Feeling compelled to please everyone and agree with everyone, Oh my god self, sabotage one oh one that'll probably do. Love your collective guts to see you next time.