Get ATIV. Welcome Mar to the You Project, Tiffany and Cook and everyone else. Before you say anything, why I'm in a different virtual room because I'm out of fancy.
We've leveled up with fancy. We're on riverside. Look at this. Look how fancy he is? Even get a countdown when I press record. Isn't it fancy?
It's too fancy for me. I don't you know. I don't like change. I don't play well with others, and I don't like change.
That's what That's why I thought I'd throw this one to you, just to keep you on your toes, just to keep you growing and evolving and learning and doing all the Craig harperisms that you teach all of us to.
I don't know how to deal. So everyone, what I'm normally looking at is I'm normally looking at a virtual studio that I'm in and it's all razzle dazzle, and it's on zoom and it's beautiful. I know exactly what's going on. And TIF and I are recording, and she sent me a link to something different, and I'm looking at I'm just looking at me, sitting in my messy office with shit written on the whiteboard behind me. I don't have a filter on my face, so I look
every one of my fucking sixty two years. I look like someone's granddad lost in a fucking podcast studio. I like the one where I look prettier and younger. Can we make that happen?
I think you look fabulous. Are you a bit thrown by my long acrylic nails as well? That's thrown me for what is to.
Go with that? Can you post a photo of those? Because I mean, I'm not being offensive or inappropriate when I say you are thirty percent male, I think it's probably more you claim a mere thirty percent. I'm I think you're a hybrid man woman, and I mean that in the nicest way, because you've got traps coming out of your ears and it dealt for fucking days. Am I allowed to keep going because there's.
More hilarious fabulous? It makes me happy? No?
I think I know you would laugh, but I know there won't be people that will laugh. But I'll tell you off air because the next one was going to be a fucking zinger, a complete fucking zinger. You would have loved it. But three people write and tell me how offensive and inappropriate and politically and correct, I am, and to those three people, fuck you so no I mean that. No, I'm only kidding, but it is, it is. It has thrown me a little bit because I'm not
used to looking at this. But anyway, Ah, tell everyone, So you've been in Queensland, you had this thing. I know all your people know, but my people don't know. So you've got this opportunity to speak at this event, which did a good give us the snapshot before we dive into our which we may not even get to our fucking topic, because that is generally the way. I guess. My long winded point is you and long girly nails, and God bless her, it's kind of like me in
a fucking tutu. It just messes with my head.
Me too. And I asked three times for short, straight nails, and she just looked at me and went, they're feminine. Your deal, your deal. She would not listen and she laughed at me. I was like, bro, I can't ride my motorcycle with nails like this. She said, you deal.
Are you inferring that the lady who did your nails? Was it a lady or a man or? It was a lady right, just checking? Are you inferring one that she was Asian?
Because if anyone, if anyone has seen the real most people will know this when I say it, and someone will be like, what are you talking about? If everyone knows the real the comedy reel, I can't remember the chick's name, but she does a thing about the nail so on and she's like, do you like grittel joll? Everyone knows that this was a version of that cheek. She was so funny, but she would not give me what I wanted, and she upsold me and she did the opposite of what I asked for. And now I'm
stuck with these long roll with the punched colors. Roll with the punch is colored? Get your words right.
Fingernails, well, they are very glamorous. But when I think of glamorous, with all due respect, you don't fucking spring to mind. When I think of you, I think more like, like those nails are like, uh, you know, Porsche nine to eleven. You're more like Ford F one fifty pickup truck like that. You know that.
I don't mind that. I don't mind that. That help me stand out on the week.
On the week to me, what's tiff Like I say, robust robust? Yeah, so if glamorous is one end of the scale and robust is the other, you're up that end.
I'm exactly where I want to be. Then thank you.
No, you're welcome, You're welcome. I reckon, I'm closer to the glamor and than you.
Some of these nails on and you're going to own it.
Now. That lady that you were talking about, the Asian lady who was impersonating, and so she's an Asian comedian who was impersonating.
And she's not Asian. I think she might be.
No, I think she is. Is she the one that said you so pretty? Why you not have boyfriend? Yeah? Yeah, now I'm going to get in. I'm just saying what she said, so don't yell at me. Yeah, it's yeah, funny, very funny. How do people find that? If they want to find that, could they They could go to YouTube like Lady Nail Lady comedian.
Jail Crystal Jel Nail comedy. All right, that'll bring it up and I will find it and put it in the typ Facebook group.
So how did you go? So you were because you were having at various stages, a little fucking tanty and emotional kind of periodic meltdown because you, well, you who is like a dog with a metaphoric dog with three dicks, and you just like to wander and go wherever you want to go. But you you have been working in part of this program to be trained in a certain
particular way of presenting in a certain model. And let's just say that initially you and it weren't a great fit, or you didn't think you were, because you're like, fuck rules, I don't like rule, stick your rules up your ass, and they're like, well, you actually enrolled in this program. That's like me going to do a PhD gume. By the way, I'll do it however I want fuck your system. I don't care about I don't care about the PhD rules. Fuck it. Yeah, So how did you go with that?
Because I when you started that and I figured out that it was so Tiff was doing correct me if I get anything wrong. So you're doing a like a speaking speaker's development kind of process program with other people. What's the lady's name who led it? We may as well give her a fucking shout at what's.
Her name Jacqueline Jacqueline Brooker, she deserves it. She's She's put up with me for a long time now, so she deserves a shout out.
Is it fair that to say that you crack the shits at her a little bit?
I look yet, internally, yeah, I was.
I was.
I think I used the word petulant with you the other day. I was. I tried to keep it all internal, but you know, I'm not good at that. So when there's internal angst, everybody involved feels it.
What did you so, what did you learn about stepping out of the tiff model, which is like essentially no model, It's just like free range chicken, and being kind of channeled into a particular way of doing something, not forever but for a peweriod of time. What did you What were the what were the positives? What were the lessons out of it?
Well, what was interesting, ironic and beneficial and valuable was that almost every component of the keynote I put together that I was teaching about lessons that I have learned or value had to be applied. I had to apply. I was applying them, managing my emotions, dealing within a critic, looking at my programming, and my ability to control what was what I could control and get uncomfortable and be honest about what challenges me, and be honest about my
perception versus reality. Like all of this stuff is are things that I talk about inside the keynote, and in the middle of it, I'm challenged by them because that's the nature of the work we do, right, and we do the work that we need to do, like we end up I think we end up teaching what we need to learn or what we've needed to learn.
And I think, like I've said to you a few times, when a few things in your life are going not great, I'm like, this is when all of the stuff that we talk about actually matters right now, when things are shit, when things are uncomfortable and unfamiliar and uncertain and unpleasant, and it's like, now is when you need to be
able to walk the talk that you've been talking. Otherwise it's just fucking window dressing for a life that's really kind of not representative of the person that we are publicly. And that is that is, you know, for me, that is why it's personal development. It's not a product or a brand or a book or a podcast or a presentation like personal development is literally a messy, uncomfortable motherfucker of a process that we go through, or don't you know?
Self help is literally for me helping yourself, you know. And yes there are going to be kind of resources and videos and books and all of those things in your proximity perhaps, but that kind of when you turn it from a noun into a verb, like a doing word, She's like, oh, this is what personal growth, personal developments, self help, human behavior, this is what it is about.
And it was like what I liked was I thought, for a minute there you weren't going to because you went to Queensland to do this and it was a big event and there were lots of people, big crowd, lots of other speakers. But there was a moment there where I thought, Ah, she's not going to go. She's going to fucking throw the dummy out of the cot. She's not going. But what, Shane, what's got you back on track?
I was closer than you would probably realize to that. The only I'd say, the main reason I didn't is that I had three people that had bought tickets to be there too, from Queensland, one from Melbourne, and I was like, you kind of can't your mate's are doing anything. Yeah. One of the big reasons I was justifying to myself that it's better off for me to pull out was
the quality of the people in the room. I was like, well, if I'm going to go and deliver this keynote and I feel that it's going to be suboptimal compared to what I feel like I would be able to bring if I could just do my own thing, then do I want to be doing that in front of the potential contacts that I'll be speaking in front of, because that is that a good opportunity or a bad opportunity. So and then I got about maybe three or four weeks out and I went, Okay, well, you've got a
choice here. You can either keep complaining or you can choose to do this and just put every bit of your attention and energy into trying to nail it as very best you can inside the process, whether you like think you like it or not. That's what you said when you started this course, that maybe it'll be the shittest one you've ever done, and that you'll learn something. But then when it came to facing that, it's still very hard, right, because you go, I'm going to be shit.
Everyone's going to think I'm shit. I'm going to be embarrassed, it's going to be awkward. Important people are going to see me fail, and I don't want to feel like that.
What was the I mean, you just managed a couple of things, But what were the things that for you were the hardest to overcome or deal with or navigate in terms of getting there and doing it?
It was the things that I value in speaking, that I think that I bring are me just being very grounded and relatable and real and in the moment and present and connected to my audience, like we are having a one on one conversation at a coffee shop. That's what I think. I really love that style of a speaker,
someone that just isn't putting on a performance. Especially A big part of my keynote is talking about the masks we wear and to drop the mask because you know, we don't get real results, we don't know ourselves, we don't overcome our bullshit when we're wearing a mask. So it's a value of mine. And so then I'm creating this keynote that is quite tightly Like initially we script every we script the entire thing, which I found a challenge because how I write and how I talk a different.
So how do you get your thoughts down into written words that are the words that you would say when you're speaking. So that process was tricky, and I just thought, my head's going to be so full of this new information and that the things I value the most can't possibly happen, and I will forget because of my brain isn't always my best mate when it comes to details.
I'll get up there, I'll make eye contact and crack a joke with someone, and then I'll think, I've no idea where I'm at or where I'm what I'm supposed to, you know, I just I will blame. I thought, that's what's going to happen, and that's going to be really embarrassing. So that was my challenge.
So for you also because you are probably a bit like me in that like I've never which is not say this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I've never in my life rehearsed or practiced or anything ever. Like I've never had a script. I've always had, you know, dot point notes, and you were a little
bit like that. But this this was very much where they wanted it to be, at least initially somewhat scripted, so that you could kind of have pretty much a set presentation, which is really not your natural habitat or your normal operating system. Right, sure not, So were you able to, within the confines of that process still be.
You, interestingly more than I ever believed I could have. So when it came to the day, I felt completely like I almost felt like I wasn't scripted at all. I just knew it. I knew what I was going to say, and obviously there were things I was saying. I mean, within that process itself, it is not to be word perfect scripted. It's just to tightly know your content. It's pretty much how it rolled out, which I was saying the whole time, old kid, it's just memorizing words.
But it actually did unfold that way, and it gave me a lead up of the weeks. In leading up, you know what, I'm normally like, I can't do anything because I'm like, oh, oh, I got to do this thing,
and I'm all anxious. I've never been so relaxed, and I've never been so relaxed as I was on the day, and I had the best fun because I just trusted that I was going to say what I needed to say, and then I just got to improvise and crack jokes and know that you know, I guess the most pressure that was there was that I had it really tight forty minutes with two minutes leeway, and I knew because I'd practiced it over and over, I knew that I
was hitting forty two minutes every time. So I didn't have time to dilly dally or get or go on a tangent or muck around. So yeah, it gave me mental space to think about those little things that I don't normally get to think about because I'm thinking about the content that's coming out.
It's interesting sometimes, I think when we go through a process or we commit to do something that might not be fun or easy, but we want to at the end of the thing that we commit to, whether or not it's a new way of eating, or whether or not it's a speaking program, or whether or not it's you know, doing an undergrad degree, or whether or not it's like anything where it's a process and you've got to go and work at it and you've got to
keep showing up. I think quite often it's actually ironically in the middle of the thing that you're doing, like you're creating the outcome, and the outcome for you was you rocked up. You did it, you did a good job, people liked it, you did a good presentation, tickety boot, as Paul Taylor says. But in the middle of that you kind of you really develop and you really learn, and you're actually, as you said, you're dealing with all of the shit it's personally that you're then going to
talk to people about. And so you're still a fucking dysfunctional work in progress, you know, just like me. The amount of times in my in the last six years, by the way, three days ago it was six years my PhD and you know it's about two months away maybe, but the amount of times where I've I've thought, not how could I give up? Right, because it's not really, but like, how do I get out of this? How do I get out of it? Because this is like is it worth it?
Is it?
Why am I doing it? Do I need to do it? I already have a decent following. A few people think I know what I'm talking about. I've written a few books, I've done a few things. I've got a profile. It's not shit like there's a bit of respect for me. I don't know, you know, a few people think I'm a.
Fuck with That's all right, but it's gonna make a difference and that, and it's it's just because it's fucking hard, and I'm like, oh god, and it takes so long.
And and you're you're, you know, like you were in this kind of this paradigm, this model, this program that wasn't your natural habitat. And I've been in a version of that for six years where I'm not a natural academic, but I'm in that world and you learn how to do it right. And even when I'm finished, I'm not going to come out and go, yeah, I'm an academic, because I'm I've done an academic process. But I don't
see myself as an academic. But somebody who's you know, can do certain things, just like I can play guitar, but I don't call myself a musician, right. It's you know, I can run, but I don't call myself a runner.
Right.
It's so, yeah, well you did this thing, Craigan, you created this result, and Tip you did the same and well done. But the interesting thing for me is it's maybe one of the hardest things I've done in my life because it isn't where I excel. It isn't the thing that I'm great at. It's like people go, oh, you know, like, oh, you like when I built my businesses and stuff, like I built gyms, Well, that's my
fucking natural habitat. And yeah there was business stuff and commercial stuff that I needed to learn and adapt to.
But like for me, doing a PhD is twenty six times harder than building a business, you know, and being you know, having to write a certain way which is not the way that I write, having to talk a certain way, which is not the way that I talk, having to go and present to four people in front of an academic board to rationalize, and which is of course I need to do this and I'm happy to
do it. But again, like I'm talking of four people and I'm terrified the day before I'm talking to with a thousand people and I'm i can telling dick jokes and having the best time ever, right, and it's just oh, yeah, this is And so it's that, what's the room that I'm going to grow in? Where do I need to go to grow, because what is very easy to do is to default to the thing that you're good at, or the thing that you're most comfortable with, or the
thing where you'll get the most praise. Right, I know, I can go into some rooms and get all the backslaps in the world and all the accolades and your ace. Right, my ego fucking loves that, my self esteem loves that, my fear and insecurity loves that. Or I can go to another room, which is the room I actually need to go to if I'm talking about yes, I want to learn, grow, evolve, be better. Well, Craig, this is the room. It's not the room you want, but it's
the room you need. And I think that you know, you just went for six months or whateverver it was, into a room that you needed. I mean, in there six years and then I'm sure when I come out of this room, I'll go into another room at some stage. But it's like that, I think actually choosing that, you know, in a strategic intelligence not reckless way, but choosing that this comfort, as long as it aligns with the kind of gross that you want, I think it's I think
it's a superpower. But we we spend so much time and I'm talking about we generally trying to avoid that room, but it's to our own detriment, and when.
You choose it, you learn so much about yourself. Like I always talk about how much I learned stepping into the boxing ring and seeing that version of Tiff that's in the middle of a fight, that's in vit or flight, that can't spin, spin a story or bullshit because the reaction is there. You react, and then you go, oh, I'm the person that cowers or ducks or this, I'm the person that didn't fight, and then I've got to
do the work to change it. I learned that it's getting on this like I would was pacing around beforehand, going I'd rather be punched in the face right now, right because I'd rather get in the ring and fight, because at least people you do a brave thing, Like at least if I fail, it's not because I'm shit, It's because someone was better on the day. But I'm getting on the stage by myself. If I fail, no one beat me. I let myself down, or that's the
story we tell. I haven't let myself down, you know. But it was like, oh, I just learned something about you know, the story I might cling to about how courageous I am or how I do hard things. Half my keynote is on our relationship with hard things. I'm putting that under the microscope and I just think that's interesting.
Yeah, well, you're talking about hard things in the middle of doing a hard thing.
It was a sorry, there was a there was a speaker who she's a neurosign and she's amazing, and she was speaking for the very first time ever on how stress affects the brain, and her keynote is exceptional. And in the middle of that, I've got goosebumps now every time I talk about it, goosebumps. She was the biggest inspiration.
She was freezing and forgetting, and for the whole forty minutes of her keynote, she just kept coming up to these huge silences where she just stood and needed to go inside and find what the f she was supposed to say next, and she I can't tell you. I was like, that's the She is the biggest inspiration to me in that room, and she's braver than me, because I think I would have gone, hey, guys, you know what I'm talking about it's happening to me right now.
Soone'm on of f off out the back like that, to just stand there, to not apologize, to not get flustered, to not get nerves like obviously she had nerves, but she held the space and the whole room just held her and loved her for it. Like that is courage.
Yeah, that's that's that is amazing. That is and for people to you know, what was going on and to be there and to be okay with that and for her. But what I love about that is that is a good story. What I love about that is that if she keeps going, which I hope she does, she's just going to build on that and that'll be that that will become part of her story. And that the you know, it's the six hundred episodes of the U Project losing money.
It's that It's like, you know, all the gigs that I did before I was any good, you know, before I got paid any money, before I got actual money. You know, like, yeah, how do you how do you how do you become masterful? How do you become highly skilled? How do you become how do you become elite? How do you optimize your potential? How do you how do
you get the most out of you? Will you get up and you freeze maybe, and and you lose your place, and you don't give up, and you stand there and you just figure it out and you sold your on And then next time you probably won't do that, or you might do it less. And then eventually you're going to tell this story about the first time you got up and what a train wreckord kind of was, but also what a massive learning experience it was and how
it shaped you. You know, this is like pretty much everything in life is about how we.
Respond, and the appreciation for the result comes only because of the hard you of it. I am only as elated. I was elate. I felt like I'd just had my first fight again. I had first fight adrenaline. I had first fighted adrenaline. Before speaking on stage, I definitely had it for two days afterwards. I felt like I was coming down from hard drugs. But that is only that is not because of the moment on stage. That is because of what I chose not to crumble under in
the lean up. That is because I know and I loved that I came so close to not doing it.
MM so good. Yeah, it's yeah, well here's my quick story. So you know what's going on with my dad, and my listeners kind of know. So he's just gone through some really difficult stuff. So I had to do I had to talk Tuesday morning, and I got off the plane Monday evening and found out what was going on with dad. So then and then I had which I
spoke about. I did a podcast about this, which went up Monday, I think, but which it just is what it is, you know, And but then not sleeping, worrying about my dad, who's and then worrying about my mum who really you know, my dad's eighty six, my mum's eighty six in a few weeks. And it's just really complicated and it's honestly, it's pretty difficult, but it is what it is, right, and then trying to trying to not put it out of your mind but not let
that destroy you. And then I had to get up less than twenty four hours, you know, so like I would have slept, I don't know how much I slept, but not more than an hour. And then I got up and I had to go and talk to a room full of lawyers, God bless them, and be funny and tell great stories and be inspirational and share great ideas. And you can't walk in and go listen, I know you're paying me five X, but I'm just going to
give you one x value because I've had a hard night. Yeah, and can I tell you about what's going on in my purse? You can't do that, understandably, and neither should you. So you know this is and then well what is that? Well, that's life. It's like, yeah, if I and by the way, you know it, if me staying up there or flying home straight away wouldn't have made any difference to what was going on with my dad for anyone who's thinking that otherwise I would have flown home. But yeah, it's
in that. Oh, well this is. It doesn't get much worse than this in terms of like when somebody that you love is is, you know, in a really challenging situation, and my energy and my emotions and my mind and to a great extent my body were almost not present. But then you've got to then you've got to rock up, and you've got to go and breathe and just be
totally here, totally nowhere else. And you know that's that's the thing, is like that is life Sometimes like life is just a fuck fest, and in the middle of that we need to try to find a way to be whatever it is you need to be in that
moment to get through it. And then then go to the Quantus Club and have a little cry in the bathroom crate you can do it there, have a little tandy in the corner, eat your own body weight in Quantus Club food, do whatever you want, but for this hour you need to be amazing.
How do you compartmentalize or give yourself a space or a moment to be in the middle of what's going on, and then in order to park it to function? How do you navigate those two?
So what I do, and again this is not a recommendation nor advice, is I totally feel what I'm feeling. And then I don't try to not feel any of it. I don't try to I don't put my head in the sand, I don't pretend it's not going on. But about literally only about five ten minutes before I then just try to clear my mind, get really kind of still and calm, and I go into it with that awareness but without being focused on it. And what I did was which I wasn't. I kind of waxed and waned.
And in the last kind of five to eight minutes of my presentation, I told the audience, because we're talking about performing under pressure, we're talking about dealing with adversity, we're talking about being able to be, you know, the best version of us that we could be despite you know, the stuff that goes on, right, And I said, so, I said to them, I've been back, going back and forth mentally as to whether or not I would share this with you, but I think it kind of, you know,
without being self indulgent, without looking for any kind of anything from you, let me just tell you about my last eighteen hours. And I told them, and it's like half of them almost cried all of a sudden, just being very you know, i'd been very real and raw, but being very real and raw in the last ten minutes, It's like, Oh, it created a level of connection that I hadn't until it. There was connection and there was
rapport and it was good. But all of a sudden, we opened a door, maybe three doors, and we went like three levels deeper. And yeah, and I feel like that was almost the deal maker, you know, in terms of them going, oh, that was fucking great. And by the way, you know, and half the people in the room would have come up. A few people came up, got me a hug. A few people just quite a few people just said, you know, thanks for sharing that. That kind of put things into perspective. I hope your
dad's right and all of that stuff. You know, But and whether or not you're a corporate speaker or you're a plumber, you know, you go to work and you do you know, plumbers have bad days, Plumbers have dads that get sick. You know, it's school teachers have you know, everyone's got to deal with someone in their world getting sick or dying or you know, we've all got to
deal with injustice. Sadly, we've all got to deal with unfairness and pain and loss, and you know, while we're still going to be human and like, I don't pretend it's not hard. I just go, all right, well, in the middle of this, how do I navigate this? How do I walk my own talk while not being a sociopath? You know, like I've still got to feel what I've got to feel, and you know, there are times where I think, all right, well, for now, this is just how I need to be in this moment, and I
can do that. Doesn't mean I'm denying anything that's going on or denying my emotions. But yeah, so that that was an interesting and it's been an interesting week since, you know. And that's like here's the here's the thing, right, there are just and it's going to happen to you one day, right, a version of that, And like the thing is that there's just always going to be things that affect us that are real tough, that are actually
out of our control. And so our challenge is not to control it or try to control it, but rather to do what we can for those people, love them, serve them, look up whatever we can, but then really to manage ourselves around the stuff that we can't manage, you know. And and two, yeah, it's it's an interesting
it's an interesting time. And what I find, as somebody who's done eight years of conversations like this, it's like almost a moment and even bigger moment of self awareness for me because I go, all right, mister fucking self help, mister the U project, mister ah be all you can be, mister can you perform under pressure, mister, What do you like when the shit is yeah? Like? What are you like? Like? What do you like like? What do you like when
you know when no one's looking? What do you like when you know you're not getting a fucking any kind of social emotional trophy for this? You know? That's that's the thing. And I think that's why so much of our evolution, our becoming better, whatever that means for us, building, resilience, building, skill building, competence, doing, thinking, being better, so much of it is about what happens when no one's looking or
giving a fuck or cheering. And I think that that's you know, that's part of the key.
And the choice to share that when you did is such a gift, Like, I don't think you understand how much that would solidify everything you spoke about, Like, because when people think now and something hard happens and they think of all the theory you'd left them with, they'll go, yeah, and you know what he was going through this when he told us that, and he still showed up, you know, and didn't show it by suppressing it and hiding it and pretending it wasn't happening, just showed up.
I'm going to tell you another story. This is probably not a good idea, but fuck it. So one of my best friends in the world passed away, Rob Dixon, Dicko. Gee, I don't even know how many He must have been the best part of fifteen or thirteen years ago. And I had a corporate gig and my corporate gig was two o'clock and Dicko's funeral was midday and where the church was. Where the church was was about eight minute motorbike ride from where my gieg was. So this is
my plan, in hindsight, not the best. So I went to one of my best friend's funeral. I was a fucking mess, as all of us were. And he yeah, this is the saddest story ever. Anyway, he passed away, and so did his two sons who were little boys, and his wife, Dusty, beautiful lady she was. It was the saddest funeral you could imagine anyway, and way sadder for the family than me. But you know, like him and I were great friends, as he was with many people. Right.
But so I thought, it's going to be about now. Then I'll have about now to regroup and go and do this thing. I'll get through it. It had been booked forever. There was quite a lot of people at this gig. It was just me, not like there was eight other speakers. I could pull out.
And and so I the funeral went forever and a quarter to two.
So I've got a gig in fifteen minutes. I had to leave. And so I rode to this place. I don't even know why I'm telling this story, this is just but I rode to this place crying, so on my motorbike, in my helmet, crying. And I get there and I've got to try and and I'm a fucking wreck. I'm in no state to do this right. And anyway, I go into the bathroom. I get there like four minutes before I go into the bathroom, I wash my face, I get my shit together, and I start and I
do my thing, and I can't remember anyway. Towards the end, I mentioned what my what had happened not and I lost my shit. I lost my shit, and I didn't like thought, but I just and I was in front of this whole group, and I just I started crying, and then I started to apologize for crying. And then like one of the ladies actually came up and hugged me, which was beautiful, but then it made it worse, Like now I'm really fucked. Oh my god, I'd forgotten about
that till we started talking about my dad's thing. But yeah, it's like, I've had some really interesting moments on stage, and I like, I look at that, and I think they could have been really angry with me, because nobody wants that dude up on the stage, Like, oh, we get in this inspirational guy who starts crying and I'm like, fuck and hell, if you guys want your money back and more, let me know. But they were very gracious and very kind.
What did you learn? Did you learn something out of that about you personally or professional?
I it's like, yeah, what did I learn? Well, practically, I would, I realized later I shouldn't. I didn't know that it was going to be. I thought there would be an hour's gap and I would be able to get myself together, but there wasn't. So in hindsheight, maybe I shouldn't have done it. But as it turns out, they I got more positive. I didn't really get any negative. Maybe they just felt sorry for me. But I just think that you know, without being without being an attention seeker.
Or it's like when I did the podcast the other day about and the podcast was called I've had a pretty shit week or whatever. Right now, I've never had a negative title in all of my podcasts, and I've never got on and ever try to seek sympathy or pity or and I definitely wasn't doing it with that. But my motivation was, or my reasoning was, I really had had had a ship week with other people as well, and I thought, I don't want to and I was doing a solo one. It was just me, I don't
want to get on here and pretend I'm happy. I don't want to get on here, and I thought, why don't I just get on and without making it, without trying to make it depressing or sad, just go. So this is, you know, this is the guy that's always trying to inspire and inform and educate and all that stuff. Tell you a story makes you laugh. Here's that guy
who's honestly had a hunt of a week. Let's be honest, right, and just to talk about that, because I think, you know, and then to talk about how i'd kind of navigated that that I did a stellar job. But I could have done worse. I guess. I think that's part of you know, the biggest compliment for me is that about this show is that people relate to it, really relate to it, and relate to the conversations and hopefully us today and and rather than getting on going, Hey everybody,
here's how you deal with sadness. Here's how you deal with depression and tough situations. Get out your pen and paper step one. Step one, think positive things. Step two, get in nature, get your toes in the sands. Step three, just self, feel what you feel. Step four, what's your rom Come, We'll be back tomorrow. You know, it's like it's sometimes I think, fuck, is this even good to
listen to? Like when I finished that solo the other day with me just banging on about the week I sent it to Melissa or Melissa had a listen and I went, was that dog shit? And she goes, no. I'm like, because I feel like I don't want to put something up that is just going to make people sad or depressed or but I think that's the beauty of even You know, in life, there are peaks and troughs, and in eight years of broadcasting, a show there are
peaks and troughs. And I think that people when I look up to someone or have learned from someone and it seems like they never have a problem, well I can't relate really, But when I see that, oh, they're navigating hard things as well, I'm more likely to lean in and pay attention and I can still learn, you know, and I can go, oh, well, this happened to Craig and this is what he did. Which is not say anyone else should do what I did or react how I did, but just knowing that, yeah, no, of course
things are shit times. Of Course they get angry, of course they get frustrated. Of course I want to fucking punch someone in the face. I wouldn't. I wouldn't though, but that you know, that feeling, it's like, you know, sometimes, especially when you've got an eighty six year old dad, sometimes without saying anything specifically, fuck, sometimes I feel like for some people, oh, he's just a problem. It's like
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, we're here, I'm sorry. My dad's eighty six, and that you have to you know, you're like fucking hell, you know, it's like ah, But then me being that way, outwardly fixes nothing, in fact creates more problems. So me needing to and also understanding the
greater context. And you know, in hospitals like we were in, where everyone's trying and it's busy and they're under resourced and over demanded and if that's a word, and yeah, me, me trying to manage me in the middle of all of that, so that I'm the best for Dad and the best for Mum and also a decent human for other people to be around. Yeah, it's an exercise in self control and self management. And you know, I.
Think it's also really nice that episode. Like one thing that you're probably not the very, very very best at is letting people hold space for you and care about you. And I think letting that that's soft. Fuck that letting the t one that I.
Didn't need any of that. Fuck that, I'm an island. I'm an island humanity, I'm an island. Don't throw your boat over here. Fuck off with your boat.
But just not like not just being showing up for typ community to be a lesson, but let them hold the space and go, hey, we're fucking here for you. Like I don't think you understand how beneficial that is for you, Like we want to do that. Everyone that follows you in that group wants to wants to say something to let you know that they're all here and that they love that you're human, and like that's a gift.
Sorry, you broke up. I didn't hear any of that.
Sorry, and you're also a bit of a fuck.
With Yeah, well, thank you, and thank you to everybody for all the nice things I've got, like lots and lots of lots of love and lots of yeah, lots of support and also you know, via a messenger and all kinds of shit. It's been I don't have a chicken casserole, so if somebody wants to reach out with food, that's probably my love language. It's probably my love language, chicken casserole. No pressure the OH box, all right, before you make me cry, I'm going to wind it up.
If it's been bued. Congrats on your speaking kind of it's not your debut, but on a big stage. That was your speaking debut to the world. That's fucking you opening the door to the big time. So well done. Congrats and thanks for hanging out with me for an hour or so.
Thank you