I'll get a team. It's a You Project. What else would it be. I probably don't need to say that. I probably just need to start talking. I guess by now two thousand and something episodes in, but fuck it. Maybe there's a few new people who go, what is this? Who is this? Who is that? Man? What am I listening to? That's for you, that's for you newbies, of course. In the You Project, is the name is show? Craig
is my name. I'm the host. We've been doing this for about eight years and DTR Sam Casey joins me on a regular basis from the thriving metropolis of Karatha, is it? That's right, Caratha up on the kind of northern confines of Western Australia, up there with all the big trucks and dirt and dust and industry and heat and mayhem. What is it that attracts you to that place? Why? Why are you there?
Good question?
You know, it's such a good mix of country and city life. I feel like Kartha is you know, you could look over and it looks like a city and it's got you know, you got your shopping centers in your cafes, and it's just it's so nice and parts and greenery, and then you could literally just turn the other side and you've got the mountains and the red dead and the hiking and it's so it's just such a good mix of country and city life, I think.
And how did you? I mean, did you grow up there? Did you move there for work? Did something? Did you move there for a relationship or you know, I don't want to open in your doors, I shouldn't, but how did you? How did you end up there? Yeah?
No, so my ex husband was in mining, so we originally moved up to another little town called Para Badoo, which is also in the Pilbra.
It's a small mining town. And then we had moved from Parado to Karasa.
So yeah, Crassa is definitely a bit more city life, but I've fallen in love with it and I absolutely loved the country, the country at all.
Like as we record, it's October thirty one. Yeah, so we're heading into summer. What is like what is the temperature range? Typically not not today, but in general terms, like what's the So in Melbourne this morning it was actually mild, but yesterday morning in Melbourne I think it was five right, And we're stumbling into it, like it was five degrees Well where I was, it was five in Hampton, Like, what's the kind of range there temperature wise?
Oh, we always hover around like the thirties and the forties. So it's yeah, it's really intense. And you get like a few months in the middle of the year where it's like super cold, but most of the time it's hot as like even now it's quite it's getting quite uncomfortable.
I mean, I'm used to it, but yeah, for.
A lot of people, they're like, I cannot survive a summer, and I'm like, we haven't actually reached the summer yet, Like it's only Altoba.
It's only going to get hotter now.
For my listeners, my listeners from Canada and from New York and from Melbourne and from Hobart, they want to know, when you say it's super cold, what are you talking about.
I would have my cardigan on when it's like the mid twenties. I can't deal.
Mid twenties. Now, mid twenties. Everyone who works to Celsius knows what that means. Everyone else in fahrenheit mid twenties. I think Ballpark is mid to high seventies. Fahrenheit. That is just nothing in the ballpark of cold. Sam. It's not even a bit cold. It's nothing like cold.
Oh I'd be shivering at that point, so you would be.
No good in Melbourne. No. Wow, So you've fully adapted.
I have.
It's crazy how quickly your body adapts. I know.
It's even when I just go down to bath, I'm like, it is freezing. Does anyone not see this?
And everyone's like, what is your problem?
Wow?
All right?
So doctor Sam joins us every month or two. Just psychologists working mainly in the space of kids and play and educating parents around play therapy and other things, and helping helping families and helping individuals. Correct me if I get any of this wrong. But we just get together and have a general stuff around life and performance and thinking and psychology and human behavior. It doesn't have to
be specific to kids. But you said to me earlier, Well, we didn't chat, we messaged, But you said to me on a message. I like a post that you put up the other day. If you don't follow me on Instagram, follow me if you would, Craig Anthony Harper. But I put up a thing on Insta and I'm going to read it, and you said you wanted to chat about it because it resonated.
Why.
I don't know if that's the word resonated.
What.
Anyway, let's read it because I probably don't want to make you. I don't want to throw you under the swearing bus and make you read it. So the title is a bit fucked a lot human. Of course you're a bit fucked in the head. Of Course you overthink. Of course you experience self doubt, imposter syndrome, insecurity, fear
of rejection. Yet none of this can take away your potential to do amazing thing things, create amazing outcomes, rise above your limitations, succeed despite your innate human bullshit, and build a life that's meaningful, fulfilling, and beautifully imperfect, just like you. Yeah, that's for me. That's kind of the intersection of encouragement and being head over the hit over
the head with like a stick or something. It's like, I'm trying to be positive and I'm trying to encourage and support people, and I'm trying to open the door on their understanding of their own potential and possibilities. Why did you like that? What did that? What resonated?
Yeah?
I see this.
It just come up so much, you know, as the therapist right with clients, and I gues see them belief for myself.
Right, this is just a humanity kind of issue here.
But when you said they're about trying to be positive, I think a lot of the times people kind of see it as you know, let's just get over all these limitations and let's get over these insecurities and let's get over these kind of battles and then we can go do the amazing thing. And I feel like with your it was way more real. It was like, Nope, these things exist because we're human, and they will probably
forever exist in some kind of capacity. But it does not need to stop us from going out and doing the thing right, doing the things that will help build us that meaningful life, doing the things that light us up. We can overcome all that, we can still reach potential. So I think quite often we think I'll just wait until i'll do this work and then I'll do that, or let me just get my stuff sorted first, let me organize my house, let me go to therapy first, and then I'll go do the thing, and we just
don't realize that that stuff's never done. It is just never completed. The inner work is never completed, the outside chaost is never completed. We are constantly going to have Once you kind of get to one, overcome one level, you're already hitting.
A next level, right, So we're always going to be chipping away at this.
But despite all that, if we can kind of get I guess in our heads right that we don't need to solve the issue, We just need to like really learn how to create a meaningful life alongside the chaos, it can just be so much more fulfilling.
Yeah, imagine if you and I waited until we had all of our shit together, no problems, no issues, his perfect Kragan, perfect Sam, and now they're going to start helping people, or now they're going to start their career. Now they're going to you know, it's like when you say it like that, people go, well, of course that's ridiculous. But you know, these things can, like dysfunction and genius can actually coexist.
I think it's actually even better with that combination. To be honest, Like, you think of someone like say, with you you're a PT, right, imagine a PT that has never like in their minds. You know, I'm teaching you from the theory, and they separate themselves from their clients, so they're like, you just need to do this perfect plan. I've never had an issue with it, Just go get it done. They've never made a struggled with weight, They've
never seen any of these kind of barriers. It's going to be very different to how you approach it because you're your own personal journey. So I think the more that we can embody you know, it's not You're not separate from me, like I'm hum and your mean, I've got these struggles to you do. I'm just here to like help guide you. But yeah, more normalizing, right that both can coexist, I think the better for everyone.
I know myself, I definitely bring more to.
The table as a therapist that has done her own in a work than when I wasn't and I was just trying to be the perfect therapist or I was just trying to be perfect.
Yeah, like essent.
Yeah, it's funny because first and foremost you're and I mean there's in complete love and respect. You're just a person who happen like you just you're just a mum and you're just that's not good. And I'm just a bloke who has a podcast. I'm just a bloke who used to be a fat kid, than a fat teenager, than a fat adult, and and other things of course, and a bloke who's written some books and done some
good things. And you've done lots of cools. But it's like this, It's this fucking fruit salad of variables, you know, good and bad, messy and sad, happy, and you know, and in the middle of all of that, there we are. There, we are trying to trying to figure out life and try to figure out us in the middle of life and that whole kind of you know, waiting until you've
got your shit together. It's like my friends who clean the house before the cleaner comes, because I'm like, what, I don't have a plan, by the way, but it's like, you know, they're cleaning up before the cleaner comes, or because you know, we can't see mess. It's like, well, life is mess. You are a mess sometimes. I am a mess sometimes. And I think the thing about you know,
because you've had your own challenges. I've had my own challenges, personal challenges and the fact that I didn't have and don't have great genetics, and I wasn't a brilliant this or a gift to that, or the fact that my default setting was kind of pretty mediocre. Means when I go to talk to somebody who's struggling, not only do I kind of from a training and an education, you know, and an inter electual perspective know how to talk to them,
but also experientially I empathize. I'm like, I'm just like you, Like I get it. All those feelings or most of those feelings you have, I either have them currently or I have had them. So when I talk to you about all the bullshit that you're navigating and the adversity and the peaks and troughs and the mayhem and the overthinking and the underdoing, I'm talking experientially. First, I'm talking from a place of a personal awareness and understanding and empathy.
And then I'm talking to you as a coach, mentor teacher, excise, physiologist, whatever the fuck.
So that's the first bit, right, And you would have been going through that, and if you didn't have a self awareness, you wouldn't been able to put words to it. And I think this is why it's so powerful when you're talking from experience. I mean me and myself too. Like you know, when you learn so much theory, you know, you think that that's it. I just need to learn these skills, right, I just need to learn more information,
But it's actually the process of these experiences. If I did not have the experience of going for something so out of my comfort zone, like a PhD, I wouldn't have known that resilience isn't this.
Perfect path, Like you said, it's such a mess. It is a complete mess.
The amount of I definitely, you know, felt like I could get through up most of the time, and yet somehow I did, right.
So, I think we often put people on pedestals or we.
Just think that to do the hard thing is just it's easy for some people, or you know that there are no challenges, or we see them as having some kind of you know, separate superpower. But if anything, no, they're just every day people like you said, that have that awareness, right, and that are kind of almost like.
Challenging themselves and going, you know what, I've got this, but I'm still just going to keep going. I'm going to find a way. And you share that I think people can tell.
I definitely can tell when I'm speaking to someone and they're really connected and they're aware to their own humanity. They come with the sense of humility but also confidence.
Yeah, and I think relatability like when I go, oh, he's seventy two ways that I fucked up, and here's four hundred things that I got wrong, and here's some embarrassing moments, and here's where I gave some people some bad advice, and here's where I thought something that actually
wasn't true, and here's what I had to unlearn. Then I think people trust you more rather than here's a bloke or here's a woman who went and did this degree and they got this bit of paper and they got that qualification, but they've never actually been through any of this, so it's all just a theoretical concept kind of plugged into their brain and then they wheel out this theory versus well, I have an academic and an intellectual understanding of whatever human behavior or sadness sort depression
or anxiety or whatever it is, getting in shape, whatever the thing is. But also I have all this personal experience and all this other experience with all these other humans. And by the way, I worked in this kind of paradigm where people came to me for decades saying Craig, this is how I am. I don't want to be like this. You know, nobody comes to a gym because they don't want to change. Nobody says, here's my body
and here's my money. I want to look exactly the same and feel exactly the same in twelve months and so and this is I think one of the things, just speaking specific to the fitness industry. Like I when I first started, right, I was eighteen years old. I'm working in gyms. You wouldn't have been born because you're annoyingly young. But anyway, but so you when you first start working, well when I did, when a lot of my friends did. So you go into the gym and
you go, okay, this is a squad. This is a deadlift. This is how you do a chin. This is flexion. This is extension, internal external rotation, dumb bells, bar bells, kettle bells, they'd bars, straight bars.
You know.
This is sets and reps. This is volume and workload. This is how bodies adapt to stress. This is all of these things, all of these physiological and practical things that we do to a body. And then and then a year or two or three and you're like, let's see, I know, you know, I still have lots to learn, but I know a bit now about training and progressive overload and nutrition and sleep and and genetics and help,
you know. But my clients they're not here anymore, or the gym members they don't come, or they won't do anything hard, or they start five times a year and give up five times a year, or you kind of realize, oh, I realized. Listen, how much I understand about body is not nearly Bodies is not nearly as important as how much I understand about people, like the person, like the
person in the body, and not only that. You go, oh, well, yeah, sure, I can write them a program and tell them what to do and why to do it and how to do it, when to do it, and I can give them a million bucks worth of gym EQUI and give them a gym membership and go, here you are. Here's everything from a training point of view that you need.
Off you go. But you don't understand you know, human behavior or the mind, or fear or anxiety or motivation or the lack thereof, or our lack of willingness to get uncomfortable consistently and all of these emotional and psychological and behavioral variables, and so you get shit results with your clients or your members, and you think, oh, fuck, I need to learn more about people, Like, yeah, I know a bit about bodies, but I need to learn more about people. So for me, that was the trying
to understand. Yeah, I can write a program, and I can teach you about anatomy and physiology and biomechanics, but I can't understand how come I give these two people the same information, inspiration, and resources and one gets great results and another one with maybe better potential, gets terrible. Is that that's the nuance to try to figure this shit out.
Yeah, And the nuance around that because even when you've just made such a good point, because I feel like even when in my industry where it's really all about human behavior, we can make for example, you know, I've seen kids have this perfect behavior plan, right, and you've got all the theories and all like the strategies, and then it just doesn't work right as soon as it leaves the boardroom, and no one knows how to utilize
that feedback and going okay, which part didn't work? Okay, we need to adapt this all right, let's try this out, let's stick with this that there is no kind of process for how do we actually anticipate that this is probably not going to work in the perfect way that we want it to. But then how do we start to make creative co creative plan that does work and it's going to be messy and it's not going to
look as perfect as we want. And we probably you know, said ten things and we'll probably just need to focus on one or whatever else. But what is that refinement process? I don't think we get good at that. And like you said, they take this theory from a fitness book, and a perfect plan is for all the reps and you've got all the sets and you're like all the temposa, you know, on point and then the mom just doesn't do it and there's something else going on deeper. So
you're right, I think so much of it is. I think it's that reiteration of going, this is never going to be your perfect plan. But we need to understand your barriers, what are the external internal barriers, and how do we keep working towards the planet?
Does work?
Yeah?
I mean I noticed, for example, for myself when I started on the fitness journey. You know, I fell in love with weightlifting, and you know I was all about tasing that perfect plan and you know, for my goals and everything.
But what I did anticipate.
Is, you know, being a mom and you you know, look in the mirror and you're ready to do a workout and you're like, that mirror is daddy, I need to clean that first. And I've got this too, and I've got that too, and I've got that and why why should I be prioritizing this exercise that can wait? It was so much just this internal process that actually had nothing to do with my access to the gym or how much you know, again, this workout plan was perfect.
It was his voices really in our heads that are telling us I'm not doing it in the way that i'man what's the point, Like, I've got other things to do. This is not a priority. And so I think if we're not working with clients that are willing to.
Reflect right on what is that story.
Inside their head about why they can't do the thing, how could you, ever, as a coach, really get a plan that's going to be workable for them.
And I think also having enough situational awareness emotional intelligence and perception to go, oh, this is going to work for Sam, but this is not going to work for Jane. Yeah, And even though Jane and Sam are telling them in the same things and they've got the same challenge, the same protocol won't work as effectively. It might be really good for Sam and really ineffective for Jane. You know, so, I think for all of us, and you don't need to be a coach or a PhD or an anything
for this. It's like, I think, very much like in the space of personal development, getting better, learning evolving for all of our listeners who are very much about selfish improvement I guess, or personal development whatever that means to them specifically, So much of it is really about trial and error, like try stuff, see what happens? Like, oh, what did you do? Cool? Oh well I tried two
meals a day, Okay, what happened? Or I tried intermittent and fasting, all right, Well, how long did you not eat for sixteen hours? Eight? So sixteen eight split? Cool? What happened? Oh this that? How'd you feel? I felt fucking terrible? Cool? Maybe that's not for you, or maybe that exact protocols not for you, you know, maybe try I don't know, try fourteen ten or whatever it is, or maybe just have three meals a day, or but maybe you know, maybe you don't have your night meal
huge or what I started running? Cool? How'd that go? On a neeza sort? Well, why don't you try stare mast or elliptical strider or whe an't you Maybe your runners are fucked? Or maybe you should run on grass, or maybe you should run on dirt or sand, or maybe you should do deep water running on like, there are so many fucking things that we can try. We go, Oh, guess what my body loves when I do this. Yeah, when I get eight hours sleep, I feel fucking amazing.
When I have six, I feel terrible. Guess what When I get up in the morning and I have half a liter of water and I don't look at my phone and I go for a walk and I just spend thirty minutes without any stimulants or stimulation, my day is so much better. But when I pick up the phone before I even get out of bed, and I'm like in fucking cognitive overload because now I'm anticipating problems that might happen later in the day. My central nervous
systems fried before I get out of bed. My brain's fucked and I have a bad Oh okay, so don't do that, Like you don't need like nobody needs a sam or a crag to go, hey, do this or don't do that. It's like our body is always telling us what's working.
It's all the feedback that we need and if anything, that's going to be way better, right, because what works in one says in the fluff isn't going to work in the other.
So I think that is the secret.
And it's just that process of really approaching your life with curiosity.
That's a researcher. Let's try this. That doesn't work, Like if it's working for.
You, great, If it doesn't change it, like I'm not you and you're not me. And I think that's you've hit the nail on the head when you say that there is no expert out there that will ever be able to work for you because they don't have the feedback that you've got on your bodies and how that feels and you know, how is that working with your life? So I think if we are able to approach it in that way of going okay, that's not working? What else can I try here? And how does that feel?
And how does that fit in? And then that, like you said, process of adjustment, refinement, revising it. I mean, that's what we should always be doing. Was never really arrived have we with that? We just keep tweaking things.
And you know what's interesting is sometimes you just you do you don't even do it because you're trying to be you know, the n equals one guy or girl. You know, you're not trying to be the experiment and the experiment. You're just like, ah, I'm going to do this. And you do something with no huge expectations and you get I'm leading to a story, but you get really amazing results, are really significant results that you didn't anticipate.
And so I would be fourteen months ago now I was sitting literally where I am now, and my phone beaped. I was in my office at my desk. My phone beat and basically it was the step counter thing on my phone going, you haven't walked very many steps lately, like you know, you lazy fuck. And so I looked at my phone and I've told this before, but I was like, for the last you know, two weeks averaging
four and a half thousand steps a day. I'm like, fucking hell, that is that is not many steps for a bloke who's allegedly some kind of fitness expert or you know, high performance coachy, Like fuck how And I just went and at the time I was feeling like, cognitively not great. I was just a bit that right, because the only walking I did was really incidental, Like I wasn't really going four walks, I wasn't doing hardly
any cardio. I was lifting weights every day. But on that day, from that day until right now, I just said, well, from tomorrow, I'm doing ten thousand steps a day, rock bottom. And it could be twenty, it could be fifteen, it could be but whatever, I'm not doing less than ten. And so, however many days that is three hundred and sixty five days plus a month or two, so maybe four hundred days in a row I've done, at the worst ten thousand steps or ten thousand, one hundred or
something up to over twenty thousand. But what's interesting for me is, and it's very hard to be totally objective about you, because you are you and all of that. But as objective as I can be, my energy ironically, the more I walk, the better my energy. You would think, oh, I'm out expending energy, so I'll have less energy. No, ironically, within reason. I mean, I'm not walking thirty or forty thousand steps a day, but I guess I average twelve
to fifteen thousand on average. And my energy is better, my brain works better. Not that I was fat, but I've dropped about five kilos of fat. Like I'm very lean now. I was eighty five kilos. I'm eighty kilos now I'm still got. I think pretty much the same muscle, same strength, same function, but I'm carrying five kilos that obviously I didn't need. My energy is fucking great, My cognitive function is good, my emotional state is better. And I actually it's like this sounds weird, but my body
misses it if I don't do it, you know. So I just made one tweak and that is just walk. And then you go, well, you can either walk and just chill out and just think about nothing and just give your brain a break and your mind a break. And just like, I live eight hundred meters from the beach, So walk to the beach, put your toes in the sand, walk along the edge of the water, do whatever you want, or just walk the other way back through suburbia, the
leafy streets. You know, do whatever you want, or listen to a book, or listen to a podcast, or make some phone calls. But the bottom line is, you know, for me that one, I mean, it's obviously it takes a little time, but it's such a simple change, and honestly it's had a profound impact on everything from how I feel, to my work, to my productivity, to my moods everything.
And see how powerful is that?
You knowing that is always going to be more powerful than reading a study saying that you know you should do ten thousand steps, like that feedback that you've got for yourself. And I love those kind of things to add into your lives where it's like the needle movers. You know, when people get so overwhelmed with all these different strategies, all these different tools that they can use, it was like, what, what's the things that we can
really focus on that are the needle movers? And I think walking is definitely one of those because of really how much mental and clarity it can give you, but also like the physical benefits. But yeah, when our body
notices that it is amazing. And I think that's why we should always be doing these little tweets experiments with ourselves to be able to track those in because how would we know if we don't give ourselves a chance to try different things, Especially when you've noticed something, right, Hey, I'm not really moving as much, you know, I need to change that, Like, let me do something about it, let me see how my body responds.
And also I think, you know, like listening to you know when people say to you, oh, Sam, you know what you should do, and then they proceed to tell you what they think you should do. Yeah, And while they might have good intentions, for the most part, people don't know what you should do. No, I don't even know what they should do. Half the time when people go to me, hey, Harps, you know what you should do? I go, yes, I do. I just shut them down.
I think that that's You're right.
It's kind of phosphating because like, no one knows your unique secondstenss but you and I think there's definitely a time and the place for that, especially when you're searching France. It's talk to me for about what's worked for them. But I think a lot of the time, we just don't give ourselves that time to really think for ourselves because what you're doing, let me go try something, Let's see how my body responds. How do I feel in
my body throughout the day. Like, we just don't give ourselves enough time to check in with ourselves and get that feedback, and then we get frustrated when the therapist doesn't give us ideas or the experts not being the expert that we expect them to be. And I think it's like we outsource our power. I mean, they're never going to know our lives like us anyway, so why do we think that they hold the answers?
You know, I was thinking about this and talking to somebody recently, like I've been doing I've been fitness, health, wellness, high performance for my whole life, with my holiday life forty four years right, adult life that is so adeen to sixty two. And you know, people often say to me something like, especially in a workshop or a seminar, like what are the three biggest factors you know? And you might go, ah, sleep or you know, diet or this or that and you know or strength training or
blah blah blah blah, blah. This is what I think now. Now, this is assuming that people in a relatively relatively comfortable space where they have access to food and safety, and you know, like we you know, we're not living in some threat threatening environment or I think the biggest detriment to our health, the biggest thing that's fucking up people's
health broadly mental, emotional, and physical health, is stress. And I think that, like, yeah, we talk about food, we talk about exercise, we talk about sleep, we talk about you know, mental health, and this is part of it, of course, and we talk about you know, boozs and drugs, you know, all of these things. And I know stress is not just a thing. It's a multitude of things. But our ability to get out of stress or that stress state to be to access calm like it like
we think we need. We think we need biceps and abs and lots of dough and a pretty face or a handsome face or fucking whatever, you know, like a brand and lots of followers. And we want those things. And I'm not saying we shouldn't, but we don't need those things. What we need is we fucking need calm. We need peace, We need that inner state.
Of bliss like presence.
Well I think about it, Yeah, the amount of people that you know and I know, and also maybe you and maybe me at times where like, fuck, it is just chaos in a bad way. And this is not you know, like I've had a couple of experiences this week which I won't boy you with, but just where I'm like, oh my god, the opposite of what we're
in right now is just bliss and calm. And of course there's going to be stress and mayhem in life, but yeah, I think that the better that you can manage that internal state, even if you are in something of a chaotic situation, to be able to be that, you know, that equanimity, that calm in the chaos. I think it's almost the biggest determinant of health.
I think stress, you're right, is like the number one killer mentally of off us all, especially when you think about it. You know, being poor is stressful, but being rich can be stressful too, like being at home can be stressful. Working is stressful, like our lives and not inherently ever going to be stress free. And so, like you said, our ability not just to manage it or even to remain calm, but to remain present, because I think.
Stress robs us off that.
You know, a lot of the time people think that being opposite to being stressed is calm, but then we miss out on being present with joy and present with where we're actually at. Like, I don't see presence, it's just meditation. It's like, even despite our lives being super stressful, are we able to carve out time for joy, for play, for pleasure, for our goals all of that kind of stuff. Yeah, So I think that ability to be present with all the different states can be really hard, and that's when
people really struggle with stress. And then that's when they're probably tend to substances or things to kind of numb it because they're like, I just don't know what to do with all this energy.
I used to say to my especially some of the do declients, my old dude grumpy business men clients, and we talk about you know, health and wellness and work and all of the things. And I'd say, you know, we talk about their business, talk about their business plan, their financial situation, their fucking property portfolio. They're this, they're that, and and they've got a plan for everything, got a strategy for everything, plan for everything, but I wouldn't see
any joy. Like with so many of them, there's fucking no joy, there's no like you look in their eyes, it's just darkness, there's no light. I'm like, oh, fuck, I know you're rich, I know you've got lots of stuff, but fuck, I'm glad I'm not you, because I just like looking into the face of misery. And I'd say to my guys, do you like having fun? And they'd look at me like, like, this is a fifty five year old guy. They look at me like, well, why
are you asking me that? Where are we Like what I'll go, it's just straight forward questions, you like fun? Do you like having fun? And like, well, of course, I go cool, what's your fun plan? Like what's your fund strategy? And the idea of doing things just for fun, just for the process, right, not to build a brand, not to get any strategic advantage, not to make more dough,
not to look good, not to none of that. Like, just just do something because it puts you in a state that's fucking amazing, you know, and it just it doesn't happen. I want to jump back to one thing you said, Like we're talking about stress, right, like, and I'm interested in your take on this. I have a theory, right, yea. My theory is even some psychologists I don't want to get in trouble with this. Fucking okay, Okay, here's what
I think people think. I think that all you know, like, oh, this happened like they were in this situation and that's very stressful. And I'm like, okay, maybe let's break that down. Well, what about the other person that's in the same situation but is not stressed, right, yeah, So there's the thing that happens, which we in our colloquial kind of observational language, we go, oh my god, that is that is so stressful. That's a describing word. That event, that situation, that outcome
is stressful. But we know that some people in the middle of that outcome or that event or that situation are not stressed. So then you might deduce doctor Sam that stress is an individual response created or facilitated by one's interpretation. I need their mind, right, I think. I think while events and situations and circumstances certainly can simulate a stress response, they don't always stimulate a stress response. Obviously, because we see that with the divergence of responses from
not stressed to very stressed among individuals. I think it's the way that we process it that dictates our level of anxiety or stress, you know, or that physiological state that we get into.
I think the way that we agree.
I think the way that we process it, the way that we interpret it, but also the stories that we attached to it about what that means for ourselves.
So it's it's.
Like, I don't know, like a breakup, right, A lot of the time, you know, people are grieving a breakup, but not only are they grieving separating lives or someone, they have these stories about what that means for them or what has happened to them, right, or you know, they treated me this way because I'm like this, or I'm never going to find love.
Like they've always got these stories attached and that's why it's really.
Stressful, because they've got a story about themselves around that about really this empowering story.
And I think that's.
What's stressful about a lot of the situations, when we doubt our ability to handle it, when we think we can't ask for help, when we think it should be a certain way we should be managing it better or I shouldn't be able to be so impacted by it. That's where the resistance lies within them stories versus like you said, it may be a stressful situation, but we can kind of process it and move forward with it because we don't have those yeah things holding us back.
Now, this opens another door. I know we've got to finish soon, but this opens another interesting door, which is the metacognitive door, which is starting to get aware of, or be aware of, how you think and leaning into curiosity around oh, why do I think this?
Like?
Why is my story? Ah, this is a problem. And Sam's in the same room with me, and her story is, oh, this is interesting, right, Where, Like I think, when you start to think about why do I respond this way? And we're not talking about self loathing, talking about self awareness, right, but why do I respond this way? Why do I believe this thing? Where did this belief come from? Did I choose this belief or this is this belief a
byproduct of sociological osmosis. I just inherited it from the people that I'm around, Right, Where does this fear come from? What is this story? Where does this story come from? Why am I telling my like all of this is like self cognitive curiosity and investigation, where you go, oh, what actually is creating this response in me? This elevated heart rate, breathing, adrenaline, cortisol, sympathetic nervous system. What is creating this stress reaction is not the thing, but rather
my story. Yes, And then once you start to lean into the story and understand the story, then I think, definitely not easy, but it opens the door on be able to self regulate better.
Oh, because then we can kind of really gain a bit more awareness. Okay, this is why I'm having this really struggle reaction. It's not just to that event that happened. It's because of how I'm seeing the event. It's a story I'm saying about myself. Well, you notice these patterns of like why is it why do I always blame myself for everything? Why does it always end up in me just being there's something inherently wrong with me? Like why do all my stories end up in that way?
And I think if we can then see that pattern, we can start to rewire that within our brains. We can start to write a new story, one that's way more empowering, one that doesn't you know, leave us feeling powerless, or leave us feeling like, yeah, it's just us and we can't change.
I think a lot of those stories are driven by emotion. It's like, you know, how you can feel not good enough while simultaneously knowing that you are.
Yeah, you know.
It's like I can get up on stage to talk something that I've done literally thousands of times and have a level of fear and ans, which is kind of inappropriate and kind of doesn't make sense for somebody who's done the same thing thousands of times. And there might be this fear driven, low level kind of idea in my consciousness that like, this is the day you're going to fuck up. They'll hate you. You're actually not very good at this, You've just been lucky, right, while also
intellectually going, well, here's the data, Craig. You've been doing this for forty years and you've done a lot of it, and you're not terrible at it because you've got evidence. You've got evidence to say that. You know. It's like, oh, you've run a marathon. You've got evidence, you know. But at the same time, there's a voice going you could never run a marathon when you've actually run ten of them exactly.
There's a proof in the evidence right there. But also it seems like you've just got a bigger purpose, so you've got a meaning for that. You're like, I want to contribute in this way. I've got something to share is the world. And I feel like when we're connected to a bigger purpose like that, we don't then get caught up and do someone like me or to someone not like me? Are they happy with this talk? And
they're not happy? You're like, I'm on a mission and I'm here to serve and I've got something to share, and so I feel like that if that's your why, right, that's what will keep us going despite the little ups and downs of the emotional side of things.
And I think also going, oh I'm scared and that's.
All right, or I'm I'll do it anyway.
Yeah, I'm gonna overthinker, that's all right, Which is where we started with a big bit fucked a lot of human We've done the full circle.
Right, we have, Yeah, feel the fair in it. Anyway.
It's always good to talk to you. How do people connect with you?
You can find me on Instagram at doctor sam Casey, or my website which is www dot Dotor, Samcasey dot com your ice.
I'll see you in a month or so.
Great Thanks, CAG