Just put my new bloody phone charger thing going. I get a team. It's the project, that's you, It's it's me in the bloody studio. It's Tiff in the bloody studio, Kelly and the other studio, with an orange case over her right shoulder, just to remind us that she's a jet setterer, world traveler, just to prompt me so that I would ask her about her international jet setting. We'll get to that in a moment. Bragging bragster over there with a European tan, Tiff, how are you?
I'm good, Probably not as good as cal, but I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good.
Well, it's been a long time since you and I caught up about twenty seven minutes ago when we had gillespion and you were jowing into a carrot like fucking bugs Bunny in the background. There have you done anything to satisfy that insatiable stomach of yours?
Set? Thank goodness. I went and whoped myself up some dinner, so I'm much more tolerable now. I was pretty good though, running on a carrot.
What you like when you're starving, like you know, when you're like out of control starving is there anything particularly particular, like good or bad, healthier, not, doesn't matter where you're Like, fuck, I could just killer a whatever, a burger, lasagna, Like what is what is your go to? If it didn't have a negative impact, Like.
You could just cook me up the road from Hey, they're cookie. They're the best things you've ever eaten in your whole life.
So when you're hungry, you would rather something sweet than savory.
No, no, that's not true. That's not true. I just like I like like steak and stir fried veg or fish and stuff frovege I like to like. I like meat and beg. I like steak, I like salmon, I like fish. Basic. I don't like pasta, and I don't really I don't mind lazania, but I don't have it.
Yeah, I'm all about flavor, like whether it's chicken or beef or turkey, or it's got to be swimming in something that's an awesome flavor, Like eating a bit of steak that's doesn't just does not do it for me. No, No, I'm all about the flavor. And yeah, like and do you know what like my go to right now? Because I'm hungry right now. But I'm not hungry like you get.
But if I could just have you know, when you play cards sometimes, Kelly, and you can use a joker and that's like a wild card, and that can be anything, like I reckon my wild card with food where you could eat anything you want but the calories don't count. Would be at this point in time, a really good hamburger. I say that, egg, cheese, onion, barbecue sauce, big fat meat, paddy fucking white bun toasted with butter on it, caramelized onions.
Oh yeah, gidyap, that's like school. I feel horrendous, but yeah, kel, what's yours?
Mine would be lasagna, absolutely, Like I would eat the whole tray. Just give me a fork in the tray and leave me alone for like an hour and done.
Has it got that besher moll source on it?
It does?
Yeah, Yeah, that's that's the Shit's My mum makes that. But it's about unlike most you know, how you go some places you get beef lasagna, it's about ten percent beef and ninety percent everything else. I'm like, Mary makes like this one, and it's it's about fifty percent meat. It's the best thing ever. Yeah, you'd love it. You know what else we've spoken about before we get into
the actual show proper. Melissa and I have had this conversation and we think there's a word that's lacking in the English language, and the word I don't know what the word is. If anyone's got just an idea, just just send it in to the you Project Facebook page. But you know, when you're real hungry and then you get something and you finally get food, but it doesn't
hit the spot. It's like it doesn't you know, you wanted something fucking yummy and you're like, you eat it and it's like you've just come home and it's like heaven and like, oh my god, this is amazing, right, and that's what you want. But you're hungry and you get the meal and it's just it's a three out of ten. So you get the calories that you wanted, but not the satisfaction or the dopamine, not the joy,
not the mouth but the mouth gasm as I call it. Yeah, And so there's this disappointment that comes with eating a meal that's not satisfying, but you've fucked it up because now you're not hungry, right, so you can't go eat again. There's that disappointment around food. We need a name for that because it's like, you know, taste bud nirvana. What's the opposite of that when you get the calories but not the joy.
Yeah, the opposite of a food DoSM Yes?
Anyway, more on that later. We probably don't need to. I don't know why I opened that door. It's just I think about food too much. So what just before we actually talk about what? What did you have for dinners?
If I had fish? I had fish and some some stir fryed veggies and you know what I had that? I haven't had for ages? Corn on the cob.
Wow? How did you did you steam that?
What did you do with I sted it? I haven't had that feet I can't well, I couldn't tell you how long it reminded me of like being at NaN's or something. That's how long did you.
Ever used to use the word yonk when you were a kid. We haven't had it for yonks?
Oh yeah, I still use that.
What do you mean you how long is it yonk exactly? Is it yon months? Or is it yon years?
It's kind of open, isn't it.
It's not it's not. It's not that different to smidge or tad or morsel, you know all those like what's big a smidge, a tad, a frag Kelly, how was your international jet setting?
It was amazing, it was every day, it was incredible.
So how long were you away?
For?
Just under three weeks?
All right, we don't have that long light. We're not going to do the show on your trip, but give us two highlights to memories that will be forever etched in your little brain or your big brain. So any it could be any highlight, anything.
Any highlight.
So we banded together and we rented a boat one day with someone who knew how to drive the boat, and we went around the Malfy coast.
That was quite incredible.
So it was like the water was the color of blue I haven't never ever seen before in my life.
And can I say on behalf of the men, I'm sorry to interrupt because all the bloke's gone, yeah, the cool, cool story. What kind of boat though?
It was a boat that had a steering wheel, and it was a boat this, I mean this was down. It wasn't a yacht it was and it wasn't like a little tug boat.
It was kind of it was in between. It was a boat, it had a motor on it.
Fucking worst story ever on extendable Roots.
So we didn't get you know, burnt in that you know, hot Italian sun that we were having.
To was Was it okay? So forget the boat? But was it beautiful?
It was beautiful. It was absolutely beautiful.
And I'm not normally a beachy person, but even I swam in that water.
So wow, that was quite incredible.
Are you not beachy because you're a ranger?
Pretty much? Pretty much?
So imagine like sixty six percent of the people sixty six point six percent recurring people on this podcast. Of the people on this podcast, I rang us or as we used to say, fan of pants. But you can't say that anymore. So I'm not going to say that. I can't say that at all.
No, I don't say that. It's not either.
That could be the name of the show. Oh there's so many things that I could say. Now I won't. Well again, she just opened the door. Now, all right, So you're coming on the show, that's right to ask some questions to You're basically the host for the next half hour or so. Have you been had you thinking, cap on mile you're away.
I did.
So there was a lot of really interesting people that I met. One of them we did this bike ride just out of Rome and we got to go and see all of the ancient aqueducts, which was really cool. And the host of the or the tour guide of the bike ride, his name was Lorenzo. He was this really cool dude and we got to chatting and he said that he was currently studying his second university degree and was now moving into what he called sports science.
And I said to him, well, I'm going to have to introduce you to the Year Project, and you know, you'll have to, you know, listen to this and see what you get out of it. But he was he was really fascinating in the way that he was talking about I just believe that you need to keep moving your body every day otherwise, you know, you just you stop your diet, like there's no point in not moving
your body. And he was telling me how, you know, he was meeting people that were like in their twenties and they could barely pedal even though it was an e bike. And then he had some dudes that were like eighty five years old, and by the end of the bike ride he would check the batteries and the batteries hadn't been touched because the eighty five year olds were so fit, and so he said that, you know, he was spending like his life's purpose was to study
how bodies work. But then also combine that with the mental side of it in that you know, obviously it's all things that we talk about, but it was really fascinating to hear it from a different cultural perspective.
I love that.
Yeah, he was really really cool.
And then the other thing that I really noticed in meeting people over there is that a little bit of effort to say something in their native language or to just to be really culturally respectable.
It went a really long way.
And that to me was such a big learning in that you can put in a little bit of effort and show people that you're willing to step into their space, and what was reciprocated.
Was really it was almost overwhelming because people.
Just started then, you know, talking to us almost in full Italian because I thought we could understand and just the contrast in doing that when a lot of other people weren't. So just having that, I guess acceptance and that want to be in another culture and to be part of it.
I found quite fascinating.
Do you know what I love about? Sorry, just to just one thing on you, old mate, before we get too far ahead. Like he's fascinated with you know, movement and you know sports science, and he's doing his degree on all of that, which is great. What is really like when we pair it back and we talk about strength training, we talk about running, we talk about functional training, CrossFit and high rocks or whatever it's called, and pilates and the myriad of fitness and exercise and movement options
that we've got. The overwhelming difference between, like if you could just pick one attribute or one kind of factor that's different now from say, one hundred years ago, is just that overwhelmingly humans move less, like we move less, and so you know, and we we sit so much, we spend so and I know this is, you know, so much time at a death, so much time and a chair, so much time in a car, so much time, you know, and and I don't know what the actual number,
but I used to quote this, but I think it was dodgy science. But I reckon that's somewhere in the ballpark that fifty years ago, Like, compared to fifty years ago, the average Australian now moves or expends about one thousand calories less per day just because we don't move much, you know. So that I mean, irrespective of what kind
of movement it is. But you think about, like when we talk about energy expenditure, we talk about structured exercise, then we talk about a thing called incidental activity, and then a thing called occupational activity. Well, think about how incidental and occupational activity have plummeted now because so many jobs have been automated or at least somewhat automated, so
we don't have to move much, you know. So yeah, I would think that just that one factor alone, irrespective whether it's running or lifting weights or doing any specific exercise program, if all you did, whatever that looked like, was just moved your body twice as much every day as you did the day before, or twice as much now as you typically have in the last year, that will make a massive difference.
Yeah.
Absolutely, And that's what he was talking about as well. So the other people that were in our group, they were look, they were older than me, and they were quite fascinated by the fact that there was this guy who was you know, he was doing his second degree in this, but then coupling it with you know, there's the exercise and then there's like the mental fitness as well, and he had all of these wonderful stories of he said, you know, over the course of being a bike tour guide,
I've met probably about two thousand people. And he said, I just want to start sharing their stories. And yeah, one of the things that he really was surprised by was the fact that there was this incredible spectrum of fitness and it didn't matter what age somebody he was. As he was saying, you know, there was someone who was eighty five that had probably the fitness of the twenty five year old and vice versa.
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's like, that's good news because it shows us that fitness is not determined by age. It's influenced by age. But you know that we talk about that all the time. It's like, what what have you got to work with? How old are you, what are your genetics, what resources do you have? You know,
what's your current medical status? You know, what's your current fitness level or strength level or flexibility or mobility and all that is is information and that's just a starting point, you know. So yeah, that's that's the space between chronological age and biological age and functional age is you don't need to be determined by the calendar. Will be influenced by the calendar, but you don't need to be determined
by it. And for me, that just speaks to that, you know, that whole idea of potential and possibilities and like, what what could I forget what's normal, Forget what's typical, forget what most people do. Like even we had Nicole ladell on I think she's on today, Yeah, she's up today.
And you know she started her degree at her first degree at forty three or four, and she's now in her fifties doing her PhD. And this is now I'm not throwing her under the bus because she's spoken about this, but when she was in her mid to late thirties, she was a single mum with kids. She was struggling to put food on the table. She was using food stamps,
she literally couldn't pay bills. And when a lot of people are starting to wind down, she's in her fifties, she's traveling internationally to present her research now doing her doctorate, she's getting all of these like it's just and what she's doing is great. But what I love so much is just that it You're like, your brain doesn't really
understand age in that sense. Like your brain will keep learning, your skills will keep developing, you can keep acquiring knowledge and understanding and insight, you can keep getting better as long as you do the things that will make you get better. But we live in this fucking cultural story of oh, well, this is what you should do. I mean, just the fact that there's a term that says age appropriate, age appropriate behavior, age appropriate clothing, age appropriate, like workouts agent.
It's like fucking ridiculous. You know, there's a of course age needs to be factored a bit, but it's really part of it, not most of it steps down off soapbox.
But then how much do you.
Think is the correlation between because you've just said, you know, your brain doesn't stop learning, you can still keep moving forward.
But then how much of that is linked to the.
Societal kind of expectations of oh, but you know, on this age before, I really can't or you know, I'm in this situation so therefore I really can't as opposed to I've got the time, I've got the energy, I've got the drive, so therefore I can.
Yeah. So I think I always always go is this a story or is this information? Because I can't that's a story. Oh at this age, that's a story. Oh I don't have the genetics for that's a story. Depends on what we're talking about. I don't have the genetics to be able to run one hundred meters in ten seconds.
But you know, I put up a little video the other day which was maybe I didn't mean it to be bragging at bragster, but it was me a week after my sixty second birthday doing ten chinups, and and I don't put it up so people go, fuck, you're good at chinups? Or I put it up because I want people to know that when you're in your sixties, you can do shit in your sixties that most twenty year olds can't like if you and I don't mean that, oh, Craig Harp is great. No, no, no, I'm talking about
what is possible, not possible for me. What's what's possible if you go and get fifty twenty five year old blokes off the street. I doubt that five of them could do ten chin ups. Maybe maybe I'm not saying again,
it's not about me, it's about oh fuck. But when you get a sixty two year old body, or a fifty year old body or a and you get and you do these certain things and you create these outcomes, or when you put a broke, impoverished mid to late thirties mum in this environment where she's encouraged and she's learning,
then she opens her eyes. Fifteen years later, she's now, she's done her honor, she's done her undergrad program, she's doing her PhD, she's traveling the world, she's speaking at conferences. And it's just because she kept asking good questions and she kept doing the work. So when someone says something, I go, is this information and data? Is this true? Is this truth? Or is this just a story about something?
And if it's just a story, we can challenge the story. Obviously, I can't wake up tomorrow and be fifty years old, but I can wake up tomorrow at sixty two and go, I'm going to go and learn Italian, and then go learn Italian, and then in a year I'm sixty three and now I speak Italian. Why because I made a decision. I took action. I was diligent. I kept learning, I kept studying, I kept having conversations, I kept putting myself
in situations to talk Italian with people. I kept fucking up and failing and trialing, trying, and then a year later I could hold a conversation. Two years later I was fluent. Three years later I was fucking grat at at why. Because at sixty two I made a decision like, this is just life and whether or not it's learning Italian, getting lean, building a business, doing a PhD. We have to get the bullshit stories out of the way of our potential because what I just described in that little
learning Italian story, that's my potential, that's my possibilities. Right. We can learn, grow, evolve at any age, in any circumstances.
Yeah, I've seen that with my nn who I've mentioned multiple times, but forty seven years old, has a heart attack and is told, you know, call your.
Family, tonight's the night.
And she woke up the next morning and changed everything about her lifestyle. And now she's nearly ninety six, and that for her was restructuring that story.
Yeah, amazing. Yeah, And that's that and we hear that so many times where something happens, like my dad had a heart attack, quadruple bypass, he died, he was revived, died, he was revived, and you know then he lost a whole lot of weight and he turned his life around it like your Nan and my dad, they could have done that before. You know, It's like that potential was there, But what happened I don't know. With your nand maybe,
but definitely with my dad. What changed was his thinking, not his talent, not his potential, not his genetic disposition, not his resources, not the hours in a day, not his IQ. What changed was what did a one eighty? Was he thinking about what he needed to do because he was always gonna do it soon. And then when you die, for some people anyway, and then you survive that death like the crab and like Dad, then all of a sudden, it's not I'll get to it soon.
It's like, no, I don't have an option. I'm going to do this now. It doesn't matter about motivation or discipline or self control or fucking time availability. All that shit goes out the window because now this is completely fucking non negotiable. This is my new normal Now here's
the truth. Everybody has the potential to do that today, but they don't have the state of mind because people wait for the fucking heart attack, they wait for the diabetes, they wait for the catastrophe, and then sadly, I think this is one of the biggest things that limits us, is we actually wait for something horrendous or terrible before we try to really really tap into our power, potential possibilities. Like I think I've achieved a bit right, but I
could do much more. But I feel like I am constantly talking to people who've got way more potential than me, way more intellect than me, way more creativity than me, way more possibilities than me, people who are thirty years younger than me. But what holds them back is not what they're capable of, but how they fucking think. It's how they think. Like you're thinking gets in the way of what because you're thinking is oh, yeah, I'm this, I'm a piece of shit on that I couldn't do this.
It's all right for him. He's Craig Harper, or she's Tip Cook, or you know, she's Kelly Smith or whatever the story is. We're always finding a way remember stories and facts. We're always finding a way to justify what we're not doing. And then we're fifty and then we get grumpy at people like me because we're pushing buttons and it's like, well, what the fuck do you want? Like do you really want a better life? Well, for fuck's sake, stop talking and thinking and almost doing it.
Like what has to happen? Do you have to get sick? Do you have to almost die? Does there need to be a catastrophe? Because every fucking person listening to this can do better. Every person nobody listening to this has peaked nobody. Now that doesn't mean everybody listening to this needs to do something, but there are a lot of people who listen to or read or watch or whatever it is that they're putting into their consciousness so much stuff,
but we spin our wheels. I feel like I've gotten off track, girl, and I feel like I've gotten back on my high horse. And I apologize, but I feel like it was good there. I had a little coaching moment. I'll step down and be quiet and just dive into the typ bean bag.
That it's good though, because.
Retelling that story to yourself is exactly what I've been doing these past few months and really trying to keep the momentum going of having this opportunity with you guys. And for a long time, there's been things that I've been really wanting to do and I'm like, I can't do that because someone's going to say it's really shit and why would anyone want to look at my face or hear my voice or give a shit about anything
that I'm doing. And then slowly I've been reframing that into I give a shit about it, and I really enjoy this and I'm getting a lot out of this, and i really.
Want to do this.
So what's stopping me when I've got such a great opportunity and I've got all of the tools right.
In front of me to be able to do it.
So I've reframed that, and I've really been pushing myself to create something every day. And whether I share it or not is a different story. But I'm pushing myself to do that. And even when I was away, it was just taking little notes about well, what am I seeing and how is this different to my everyday life? And you know what's that like over there? And is you know, how's that person interacting with that person, and what am I actually getting out of this experience that's that's bigger.
Than me that I can take into.
And that was probably another really big question that I had about the time I was away, and it was like, I've got this wonderful feeling where I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and it's really lovely and I feel really empowered.
And I know it's.
Because I'm not seeing or dealing with anyone that I would normally see in my everyday life. But why can't I take this attitude and this feeling back home? And so that is again part of this reframing of the story.
I think part of the human experience, A big part of the human experience is because we're emotional. Right, It doesn't matter how logical and intellectual and strategic we are on this show and we talk about it, but at the end of the day, I get off here and I'm more emotional than I am logical. That doesn't mean I'm controlled by emotions, but we are all. I think human beings are more emotional and social creatures than we
are intellectual, Which is not say we're stupid. We're clearly not stupid, but this is why so many people, when they get out of the emotional state of motivation, just stop doing what they need to do to live their best life or actually their goals or get where they say they want to go right. And so we are so controlled by these fluctuating states that we call emotions.
We need to find a way to be able to in the middle of our emotion turn the volume down a little bit, feel what we feel, acknowledge what's going on. We're not pretending we're not emotional. We're not pretending we're not anxious when we are anxious. We're not pretending that things are great when they're shit. But we need to find a way in the middle of the peaks and
troughs of the emotional experience that is being human. We need to find a way to keep doing what works, and we need to find a way to move forward with the program or the protocol or the framework or the to do list or whatever it is, because so many of us are held to ransom by how we feel on a day, and how I feel today will
determine what I do now. If that happens four days a week, my emotions and my feelings are controlling my behavior, then your emotions and feelings are controlling your outcomes, which is controlling your reality. Now, we're not trying to turn everyone into cyborgs, because I just said I'm more emotional than logical. But I want to be able to acknowledge my emotions, my feelings, my fears, my anxiety, my self doubt, my internal bullshit, while still intellectually understanding that I'm okay,
I'm pretty good. I'm not a terrible human. I'm not terrible at podcasting. Sometimes I'm not great. Sometimes I'm fucking brilliant, let's be honest. Sometimes I'm funny. Sometimes I'm a dickhead, right, But it's being able to self regulate and ride these peaks and troughs of the human experience that usually shows up in the form of, you know, some kind of emotion, and it's the challenge is not to be perpetually focused and disciplined and in the zone and you know, just
full of fucking self control and resilience. And because that's a ridiculous unachieved aspiration, But what's a better aspiration is to go, well, look, I'm pretty fucking human, and there's a fair chance tomorrow I'm going to get up after I listened to Craig and Tiff and Kelly, and despite the fact that I'm in the zone and pumped and excited now, either tomorrow or the day after, I'm not going to be. So what I'm interested in is not what people do after they listen to this show because
they're pump focused in the zone or whatever. I'm interested in next Friday, when all this shit is just a distant memory. So it is. I believe that success is so much about our ability to keep doing the things that we want to stop doing, and to be the person who when everyone else gets to a particular stage, an emotional state, a stage of their journey, when they would step down, it's how challenge to step up? And that is just how long can you keep going? How
resilient can you be? What can you do when and you can't be bothered, like when you really feel like giving up, when no one's watching, when no one's cheering, when no one's telling you you're good, when there's no validation, even when you're not getting good results, What can you
do then? Because it's in all of those different emotional and psychological spaces where people would go, oh, it's totally reasonable that you gave up, or that you stopped because it wasn't working, or because this, or because your back was sore, or because fuck it's cold, or because and then we're fifty, and this is my That was my fear for me. I was terrified of waking up at forty or fifty and being a nobody doing nothing, And not because I thought I was destined for greatness, but
because I knew I had potential. I knew I had potential, and I know that when I was young, nobody else thought I had potential, and that scared me, you know. So it's just like this is all of these things that we all. You know, you feel it, tip feels that I feel it. You get up and you're like, I'm not feeling it today. Cool? Great, great? So today when you're not feeling it, how fucking awesome can you
be today? That's the great question. And we've got to keep going to the wall, like we've got to keep going to the fucking room of mirrors and have a look at ourselves. And it sounds all very gung ho, Craig Harprish, but tell me how else it works. Like if we're not doing the work, if we're not making the decisions. If we're not rolling up our sleeves, if we're not getting courageous, if we're not producing the outcomes, how the fuck else do we succeed? There is no
other way. Nobody can make success for you. Nobody can lose weight for you. Nobody can do a PhD for you, Nobody can build a business for you. Nobody can do the work like. This is the uncomfortable reality that people try and avoid by taking the fuck and easy path, or the instant gratification path, or the dopamine button. Good luck. After you've pressed the dopamine button for fucking ten years, then what now I'm addicted to seventeen different things? Tiff?
How do you walk the line between knowing really knowing when it's appropriate to push and change your circumstances and when it's appropriate to sit down and change your expectations?
Like?
How long can you let your expectations run the show and in a toxic way before you go? Fuck? It doesn't matter what. I'm never going to be happy and pushing through and soldiering on is not going to be the answer.
Well, I think quite often we head down a road me included, and we get halfway down the road and we realize, oh, this is not the road for me, or I'm climbing the wrong mountain, and that's okay too. That's not giving up. That's awareness. It's like I've started things and I've got somewhat into the thing, and I realized, no, this isn't for me. This isn't It's not that I'm scared, or it's not that I'm maybe you can't do it. It's just that this is not this is not for me.
And I think, you know, to be able to have that situational awareness and figure out that you know, for me in this, in this moment in time or on this part of my journey, this is not a good use of me. And I think also, you know, we need to pay attention to the data. We need to pay attention to the results there are. I mean, I've done many things that failed, and I've done other things that worked. But then you know, things have a used
by date. Like I used to love running gyms, I used to love being on the gym floor, I used to love coaching people. I used to love and then I got to the point where I didn't. And it wasn't that it was bad. It's just like, Okay, this is not I need to learn and grow and evolve in other ways and other environments and doing different things. And it's not that owning a gym is bad or training clients or athletes is bad. It's all fucking amazing. But it's for me. It's reached its use by date.
And I think that's just part of evolution, and that's part of you growing and learning but also being able to you know, I could listen to you way more things that I've done that didn't work than things that did. And you know, like even with this this podcast, it would have been very reasonable after five hundred episodes to go all right, I gave it a good go five hundred episodes, like we're making no money because it took us six hundred dollars before it was profit sorry, six
hundred episodes before it was profitable. So you know, I think there's that. I think there's just paying attention to the results and the data as well. And I think maybe like sometimes when you just go and go and go, and you realize, well, this is never going to work. It doesn't matter how hard I try, Well, that that's a different thing, you know, And that's just acknowledging that either this isn't possible and that's okay, or it's very very unlikely, or perhaps my strategy is wrong.
Perhaps I'm you and our psychology like some sometimes we have a story that we're spending our lives affirming. So everything I do not me specifically, but there can be people who everything they do is really unconsciously to prove to themselves that they will not make it, They.
Are not worthy.
It will not be easy, that shit all of the things. And yes, yeah, so getting and that you can't get a coach or a person that knows that about you, But sometimes you don't know that about you.
Yes, yes, And I think when your story is I'm shit, you find evidence to support your story. Correct, You look for evidence and whether or not that's within or without. Yeah, But I think also a big part of this journey of becoming and whatever that I hate all these cliches everyone, so I apologize. But whatever success is for you, right, it doesn't matter what it is. It only matters to you and whatever a better version of you or a
better life, whatever that means to you. But is being able to do stuff where you get embarrassed, you get scared, you get humiliated, you get all of the things that you don't want, and you go, that's okay, that's okay, I don't want this, but this is part of it, you know that. It's like, back to your story of boxing.
How did you get good at boxing? Well, you started by being shit, and you got beaten, and you got skilled, and you got schooled, and you had a whole lot of you know, I guess, mental emotional and physical pain. And through the middle of that and all the training and all the fights and all of that, you develop skill and ring craft and awareness and the right kind
of fitness and strength and confidence and competence. And eventually, after being shit, you become less shit, and then less shit, then eventually not terrible, then kind of okay, and then wow, not bad, then kind of good, and then for who you were and what you had to work with, really fucking good and winning titles. Right, But you had to go through all the shits. And it ain't about boxing. It's about growth. It's about being prepared to do what's required to get to where I want to go now.
And you started late. Imagine if you started when you're eighteen, you could have perhaps who knows has been a fucking world champion, who knows. Like I didn't write my first book till I was Nelly forty, and people used to say to me, and they weren't I mean, they weren't trying to reign on my parade. I think it's just how they thought it's very hard to get a book
published if you're not a published author. I'm like, that's the dumbest shit ever, because everybody had at some stage, every author wrote a first book.
You know.
And it's like everyone, you know, JK. Rowlings wrote a first book. Everyone wrote a first book, and everyone that is a published author I had a chance somehow or they created one or anyway. Sorry, Kelly, we've actually hijacked to your moment in the sun.
This is great. I'd like sitting here. I'm sitting here just absorbing at all.
What I do want to ask you both though, is yeah, absolutely, it's you know, stepping into that room and looking at yourself and asking yourself those questions about you know, what is it that I'm telling myself around whether I can or I can't, and just showing up every day, which goes back to the initial thing I said about a little bit of effort and how you can get so much back from it, But what do you both do on the days where you just really really don't want to.
To if you go first?
I feel like it's almost the opposite to me. I'm in that adjusting expectations phase where I've made changes to be okay with doing less and reprioritizing, and then still in recent times coming up with oh, you're like, you just you get trained. You train yourself in a behavior so strongly that I have just been on the go and chase and achieve and do and do every minute of the day, and it's put me in a space
of rushing all the time. I'm always rushing, excited, like I'm excited until I'm exhausted, and then I'm like, how did we get here? So it's, you know, everything's doing the hard things hard until not doing the hard thing is harder, and stopping doing the hard thing, Like that's what I'm The basis of my current kenot is how what's the hard thing that I pretend I'm doing that's really the hard thing would be to stop it?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
I just wonder for people that are listening who maybe are absolutely terrified about starting or stopping something that have those days of almost being you know, they just physically can't or they mentally can't. Because I think that the three of us are probably in spaces where we seek out to be learning more, doing more, pushing ourselves like I know, for instance, like I push myself to do
everything that I want to achieve. And again it's a story, right, but yeah, I just find it so fascinating around just being able to keep putting that one foot in front of the other, and whether it's like it's a relearning or it's just this is what I do now, or this is what I have to do because not doing
it is going to be harder. Yeah, it's a really fascinating thing for me to know what gives people that drive on the days that they potentially can't even get out of bed, like they're just frozen almost.
I think sometimes doing nothing is wisdom not weakness, right, And there are times when doing nothing is weakness not wisdom, right. So it's like there are times when you shouldn't train, there are times where you should have a day or a week off. There are times when hey don't make any hard decisions today. But I think when you do that consciously and intentionally and you've thought that through. This is not a response or a reaction, or this is
not coming out of laziness or fear. This is like, oh, yeah, well, of course I can't redline all the time. And while I talk about having the crack and da da dah, I'm also the big you know. I did a podcast a few I don't know, weeks months ago, and I think it was called there was something around the idea of having fuck all days where you do fuck all. It's like, what are you doing? Fuck all? But gladly do fuck all? You know. It's like, oh, today's a
fuck all day. I'm going to watch Netflix. I'm going to put my toes in the water, I'm going to fuck can eat food. I'm not going to the gym. I'm going to ring mum and talk shit to her and doesn't and cool, That's what I'm doing. But I'm not doing a month of that, do you know what I mean? So I think to be able to and this comes back to living consciously and intentionally, where I would never suggest anybody redlines or has their foot flat
to the metaphoric floor. You know, seven days a week, or six or even five days a week necessarily, it's like think about you know, and if you get up and your body is genuinely your body is going no, not today. Well that's just that's biological insight. That's not weakness. But that's not the same as I can't be fucked. That's different. Go on, Tiff, I feel like, yeah, I'm going to say.
To probably to more specifically answer your question for me, Kelly, is I'd always lean on and remind myself of what I learned through boxing. Like, every single time I got in a car to go to boxing training, I hated it. I was like, I'm tired, I don't want to go this, I couldn't want to go less and every time I left training was I couldn't wait to get back. So I remind myself, well, you know that thing you love the most, you know how every single time you had
to do it you hated it. That's what it takes. That's what it takes to get what you want when you know what that is.
Yeah, yeah, and you think about again the old if we had one hundred people in a room and you said, to the hundred people, who wants to be physically mentally and emotionally stronger and more resilient and more capable. And everyone puts up their hand because everyone likes the idea of that. And then you go, right now, who's going to fully commit to the work. It's like all the hands stayed down. This is a podcast. This is like, it's the theory of change, and that's that, you know.
And I just think for people, I think people get and I completely understand this. People get overwhelmed by the magnitude of the work ahead of them, especially when they're coming from a long way back. You know, it's like, oh, fuck, yeah, that's cool, Craig. But I can't even walk a kilometer without having a rest. Great, Like, that's called baseline data. So what can you do? Oh, well, I can walk about five hundred meters? I go, well, well done you. How often do you do that? I don't. Okay, So
why don't you three times a day walk five hundred meters? Great? Well, that's a kilometer and a half a day. That's ten and a half k's a week. You know, that's over forty kilometers a month. Fuck, that's amazing. Let's start like what it's not like, oh, let's run a marathon. Let's build a brand. It's let's become a fucking influencer. It's like, what can you do? What can you do well? I can do three push ups leaning against the wall. Well done, let's start there. I can stand on one foot and
balance for twelve seconds. Fuck go you, let's do that. What else can you do? Well? I guess I can read a bo I can read five pages. Fuck yeah, read five pages? Like what can you do? What? Like? What can you do? I trained a guy called Ben. I've told this story maybe twice. He came to me. He was over two hundred kilos, over two hundred kilos,
young man, early twenties, maybe late maybe nineteen. Anyway, he came to me, His mum came to me, and they're like, basically, is there any point like could you work with him? I'm like, of course I can work with him. Fuck yeah, I'm excited to work with him. And it's just like for me, that was so much fun and so enjoyable and so exciting because I'm like, hey, bro, what can you do? I'm like, here's ten stairs, can you get up them? He's like he got up the ten stairs.
I'm like, fucking high five dude, get the up, butter Cup, look at you like a fucking gang star, right, all of a sudden, Like for that dude to walk ten stairs is like Tiff running three k's right. So it's like, what can you do? What can you do? I can do ten? Great? Now can you come back down. Let's have a little drink of water, Let's have a chat. Now can you do that again? Cool? And so today we did four times ten. We did forty steps, which is forty more than you did yesterday. Now can you
lift this weight? Now? Can you let's go for a walk. Let's see how far we can. Let's do a four minute walk and see if you can walk four minutes NonStop. You did, well done. I'm writing and in the diary this is day one of you fuck better butter Cup. Did my microphone just change Tiff just briefly? Yeah? Sorry? But I mean that's the thing, like, get fucking excited. What can you do? It doesn't matter what other people do.
The only person you should compare yourself to, you compare yourself to is you, And then that way you're moving forward in a positive emotional and psychological and also space. But also it's just intelligent because the body that you've only got one body, and that's the body you're working with, or only one brain, or only one mind, or only one intellect, or only one creative capacity, whatever it is that you're working with, that's all you've got to work with.
So just compare current you with yesterday's you and tomorrow with yesterday's you, and then we get a real sense of progress and achievement. And that makes sense. And going from you know, whether or not it's walking for three minutes, or whether or not it's it's reading a book in a year, or whether or not it's having a hard conversation, it's only relative to the person in the middle of it.
And you know, that's the answer to what I was just asking. On the days that you really don't want to, it's just a question of what can you do?
Open ten dollars for that answer, No worries.
I think that's great.
I think that you can apply that to everything, and it's just a matter of the effort and the intent that Yeah, there we go, look at that.
Yeahreate you.
Thanks, Thanks guys.
I feel like we uh and by we I mean me hijacked. Have you got another question? And both of us, will shut up while you asked the question and actually let you have some mere time.
I'm enjoying you. Though it's great, I feel a bit.
I feel a bit rusty having come back from, you know, three weeks on the Carbonara tour and it was let me tell you, it was the Carbonara tour.
It was great. Did you put on.
Did you put on weight? Mary? Mary would say, did you put on any weight while you're away? Mary rang me just before canell? Do you know? Can I just no, I's going to hijack it again. Remind me to tell you the Mary story. Tip tell us about the Carbonara Bloody Tour. I did.
Let let Mary know that I indulged in a lot of Carbonara daily Carbonara feasts, and I have returned a little bit heavier, but you know, so what, it was enjoyable. It was so enjoyable. And I've come back and started back at the gym, which is also very enjoyable. And it's such a beautiful community of people there. They walked in and they're like, oh my god, you're back.
We missed you. How was it? And I was like, oh that's nice.
Yeah, that's good, isn't it.
Yeah?
I've never been to Italy. Been to Europe, but I haven't been to Italy. Is the pastor as good as they say? Like everyone's like, oh, it's different, it's not the same, Like you cannot understand is it that good?
It's better?
Really?
Yeah, different ingredients, different way of cooking. It's very simple food done really really well.
Yeah.
Wow, all right, I'll bet a prodominal list. All right, let's here's my Mary story before we go. So Mary rang me just before I was out traversing suburbia like a fucking weirdo that I am with my beanie on, my headphones on, looking like fucking the Hampton Terrorist. Anyway, Mary rings and she goes, oh, you off to Queensland tomorrow? And I go yep. She goes, all right, well I thought i'd ring before you go. I go, mum, you can. It doesn't matter where I am, you can ring, right,
It's like my phone works in Queensland. She thinks she has to call me before I go and after I get back that doesn't want to bother me. I go, mum, I'm actually got more free time when I'm away. So anyway, She's like, all right, all right, then I'll my Mum's way of saying I'm going to pray for you is
I'll send a few up for you. And she's like, and I don't know, but in Catholicism there are all these patron saints of different things, right, So she goes, I'll say a prayer to Sir Anthony, and she goes, all, not Sir Anthony. She goes, who's the patron saint of travel again, and then it's like, Saint Christopher. I'll pray to Saint Christopher for you. I'm like, you do that, Mary, I go, what about Jesus? She goes, yeah, him too. But you know, I'm like, all right, well, let's let's
just bang out a couples to Saint Christopher. He's the patron saint of travel and St Anthony, Tiff and kel and listeners. Apparently he's the saint when you lose something and you can't find it, you say prayer to Saint.
Anthony to befriend Saint Anthony, just to.
Keep everyone in the loop. According to Mary anyway, I don't quote me exactly, but I think that's that's how it goes. So, and can I say to you when she says I'm going to pray to Saint Anthony for you. She's not being hilarious and funny. She's like she's giving me her like spiritual covering so that when I'm away, I'm going to be protected. Oh. I love her so much.
That's beautiful.
Who's going to pray for me? When Mary buys the farm? When she goes to that big bloody you know cathedral in the sky.
She'll she'll be sending prayers down. That's right, Yeah, she'll be sending.
That'll make me more nervous because she'll know everything I'm fucking doing, because with her little beady eyes from her cloud up there, she'll just be watching me.
She might be sitting in the bamboom.
Oh, I don't know how we're talking about my mum's death now. I feel like that's taken a dark turn. But she's still here and we love her. Let's hope she's here for a long time. And Ronnie as well. Oh that got bad quick, didn't it. Oh, let's chop that out. No, Hey, everyone, thanks so much for joining us. Kel I'm glad you're back. We're glad you had a good trip.
Thank you.
I'm so glad you put on ten kilos via the pasta. No, you didn't, you don't. You don't look like you've gained anything, which is very annoying. But next time you travel, let Mary know and she'll send a few up for you.
I'll request it, absolutely all right.
Thanks everyone, Thanks TIV, thank you Sarah,