#1973 My Thoughts On 'High-Performance' - Harps

it's kind of a coaching session of it. It's a one on one in that you are the one, I am the other one, unless you're listening with a group of friends, and if you are, that's weird. It's a one on one you and me. It's all around you

optimizing you, and specifically me helping you optimize you. So one of the things that I often talk about in my corporate stuff, in my work with teams and schools and athletes and you know, people with addictions and the cross section of humans that I work with, is this idea of high performance. Now, typically when we think about we okay, typically when many people think I guess I

can't speak globally. But when many people think about high performance, we talk about people who do great in the performing arts or sport, or business or politics, or they have some kind of standout skill or quality or attribute and they're producing amazing outcomes. And they could be, you know, a high level academic, or they could be flying the space shuttle, or they could be winning gold medals or curing cancer or singing at the Grammars or whatever. That

is not my That is ae kind of description. I guess my description, or my definition of a high performer is anyone you me, anyone who's getting the most out of themselves. Anyone who can find a way to use most of or perhaps a lot more than the typical person or the average or the in terms of using

what they have got to work with. So it's not about being rarely gifted or innately amazing or talented, or you just came out of the womb and you could run one hundred miles an hour and you could speak nineteen languages and you had a four hundred IQ and you could sing like a goddesk. No, it's none of that. It's about how well can you operationalize or use or optimize whatever it is that you have to work with. So for me, that is the definition of a high performer.

One of my favorite, if not my favorite high performers in the world, is Mary Margaret Harper, my beautiful mother, who's five foot thing in the morning, four foot eleven at night, and who weighs forty odd kilos and who's just a weapon, who at almost eighty six and having battled multiple battles or multiple rounds of cancer I should say, lung cancer, bowel cancer, had a heart attack, currently looking after a husband who's you know, has his peaks and

troughs and days and works with the old people, voluntarily helping the old people, which is fucking hilarious because she's older than Moses. But anyway, don't tell her I said that. Love her. But she just finds a way to do good stuff for herself and for others. Not that she's flawless or perfect, or not that she never has a moment, she has plenty of those. But in the middle of you know what is not the easiest life or the easiest situation, my mum ten to find a way. My

mum tends to every time I talk to her. She makes me laugh every time, she's cheeky, every time she has a dig at me about something in a fun, motherly, loving way at eighty five point nine years old. And I just so for me, that is, can you get the most out of or are you getting the most out of what you've got to work with? If not

the most, like more than perhaps you have previously. So my version of that for me is, am I optimizing what I've got, like my genetics and my brain and my resources and my time and my physical and mental and emotional energy? And do I do good things? And do I produce some good outcomes? And am I of value to the world and people? Am I of service? And am I doing something constructive, productive, practical and helpful

for others? Am I doing that? And I don't always do that, but I think I do that most of the time. I also fuck up often, But so that is me trying to be the best version of me. So, oh, I didn't intend talk of that long. So one of the things that I often run through in a presentation, not so much in a keynote presentation because we're pressed for time, but more a workshop two or three, our workshop perhaps all day I'm heading to thriving metropolis of

is it mill Jury. Yes, I'm heading to Meal during next week and I'm doing nearly a whole day with a group up there, and it's a day like that where we might dig in to what I'm about to dig into. So one of the questions that I ask is and I have about nearly a hundred of these things I'm about to talk about on my list. I may open the door wider at another stage, but I talk about what are the skills, qualities, attributes, habits, and behaviors.

I'll say it again, what are the skills, qualities, attributes, habits and behaviors of high performers. Now I've spoken about everything I'm about to talk about. I have spoken about at times over the last seven years and the almost two thousand episodes. So if you've listened to everything and you know me well, and you know my content well, and you maybe can't get any more out of me, this might not be for you. It might be a revision, it might be a reminder, it might be a prompt

that might be a kick in the btom. I think that's French for us, the tom. You're very welcome. I'm super fucking cultured you can all tell, or for some of you who are you are, this might be a revelation a revelation, It might be a pulling back of the curtain. It might be new stuff for you to think about. So I'm going to talk to you about ten variables or ingredients or things that influence our ability to be able to live in that high performance space.

Ready you ready? All right? So you may or may not want to write this down. I like to. And obviously if you're in the car driving, look, I mean I'm no expert, but probably don't write. Probably don't do that. But for those of you who go, you know, I want to learn something, I want to jot it down, I want to unpack it a little bit later, I want to lean into it. And even for you people who are coaches and mentors and teachers and speakers in your own rights, and I know a lot of you

listen to me, why would you do that? But anyway, thanks, These are ten rock solid things that I talk to people about that really can move the needle on whether or not you can optimize you, whether or not you can live a version your own version of high performance. Now number one is now number one is our ability to keep doing the work, to roll up our sleeves, to be courageous and to be proactive and productive, and to do what we need to do even when we

can't be bothered. So it's to be able to outlast our motivation for my choices and my behaviors and my actions and my plan and my commitment and my ongoing vision and process. To be able to outlast that initial burst of motivation. For many people, it's not a revelation. But let's just remind ourselves. From many people, motivation is a sometimes thing. It comes and goes. I would say for most people, it's motivation is a sometimes thing. For me.

And to be clear, I'm defining here in this chat motivation as an emotional state, a psychological state where we have a heightened sense of focus and attention and energy. And in that place of heightened emotional and psychological focus and energy, we make a decision, we take action, and we're pumped. We're in the zone, we're excited, we're doing shit because we're motivated, and it's all fucking laughs and giggles,

and then three days later we're not motivated anymore. That initial phase, that emotional and psychological state that we were in that we call motivation for whatever reason, probably because we're human, not because we're bad or broken or terrible, probably because we're human. Somewhere between a day later and ten days later, for many people, the motivation either wanes, it subsides somewhat, or it completely vanishes, never to be seen again, or never to be seen for quite a while.

So what is the skill, what is the capacity? What is the attribute that we want? In this space? We want to be the person who can keep fucking doing the work when it's not fun. We want to be the person who can keep applying ourselves, rolling up our sleeves, refocusing, recommitting, redoing, so to keep climbing the mountain when we don't feel like climbing the mountain, when that motivation, that emotional and

psychological state that we got in, has passed. And in fact, I would say for many people, the ability to be able to keep doing the work when most people would have stopped, to be able to step up when most people would have given up by now, to be able to override that feeling or that idea or that compulsion to give up, I think it's almost at the top of the list, because we seem to be I say we, and seem as a collective observation of mine, we seem

to be somewhat dependent on feeling like it. And so if I have to feel like it or I have to be excited about it constantly, if I need to be perpetually motivated to do the thing that creates the result, then the chances of me creating the result, creating the change, becoming the person that I want to be, or achieving the thing I want to achieve pretty much slip to zero zero chance, because I'm only going to do the thing when I'm in the zone or motivated or inspired,

and I'm never going to be perpetually that. So when we're motivated, when we're.

that workout with old mate. I'm still going to stay true to the commitment I made because it's a commitment that's not dependent on a particular emotional state. Number one is motivation. Number two is I'll try and be briefer because I can fucking whiffle. Number two you've all heard me talk about, and that is just our willingness to get uncomfortable. Now that this doesn't mean we've got to be a massachist. This doesn't mean we've got to you know,

constantly run into the fire. This doesn't mean that we've got to be the ongoing alpha male or alpha female. It just means that we are going to have to do some shit that isn't fun, that isn't quick, that isn't painless, that isn't convenient. It will be physically and mentally, and perhaps socially, and perhaps emotionally and perhaps financially uncomfortable at times, but we recognize that this is the price

that I need to pay to get the outcome. I want to do the thing, I want to change the thing. I want to become the person I want to become. We all know that a lot of people don't when it comes to our body. A lot of people just don't do the work. They don't do the runs, they don't lift the weights, they don't change the eating habits

or the dietary habits. They don't do the things that they know that they should do, not because they don't have the capacity or the ability, but because it's fucking hard. It's fucking Have you seen that little kid and it's fucking hard? Or what does he say? It's a fucking dark or anyway, I'm distracting myself. But this is our challenge is to say, all right, well I'm not motivated. Also, this thing kind of sucks. Nonetheless, that's okay. And also we don't need to love it. We don't need to

love the process. When people go to me, oh, look, I really don't enjoy going to the gym, I'm going I go good, you don't need to and they look at me like I'm fucking weirdo. Because that Why would you go if you don't enjoy it? Well, you go because it fucking works. You go because it produces the result. You go because it creates the change you wants. Not everything has to be fucking enjoyable. And this is one of the mindsets that is so self limiting, so self destructive,

Such an emotional and psychological prison is this. I won't fucking do it if it's not fun, Well, good luck doing life, because life's a cunt. Sometimes life is so fucking hard. Good luck doing life. If you are constantly choosing easy. If easy and comfortable and familiar and certain is your I'm getting on my high horse, I realize as I'm doing this, But anyway, fuck, let's keep going.

If this is your default setting, then then when the pain comes, when the uncertainty comes, when the rejection comes, when the separation comes, when the problem comes, when the illness comes, when the hardship comes, you will fucking disintegrate because you haven't done things that make you resilient. What makes you resilient is leaning into the comfort, not in a reckless way, in a strategic way. Steps down off soapbox. Lowes's voice change his tone. Number three metacognition. What is that?

You know? What that is? I am a big fan of you understanding how you think and why you think the way that you think. I'm a big fan of you being able to discern between the thing that's just gone on around you or to you, or because of you, or despite you, in front of you, and your story about that thing. Your capacity to be able to separate

the stimulus the external thing with internal correlating story. That's the story that you create based on your programming and genetics and the window through which you view the world and beliefs and values and experiences. Right, you are constantly creating a subjective experience with your mind. A thing happens, you interpret the thing, and then that thing becomes your version of reality. This is not good or bad or broken.

This as humans, So it is. I think it's really important that we are going to chuck another one on top of metacognition. So metacognition, as you all know by now, is thinking about thinking. But I still think we don't do it. I still think most of us don't. Why am I reacting this way? Why am I feeling this? Where is this story coming from? And this is not

about self loathing. This is about self awareness, so that when I understand me better, when I understand my mind better, when I understand my stories better, when I understand my choices and behaviors and outcomes better, then I can manage me better. I can optimize me better. I can become the high performer because I'm starting to understand myself. I believe,

brothers and sisters. I believe that a lot of people travel through life not even fucking knowing who they are, not understanding themselves, not even thinking about their beliefs, which is number four. What are your beliefs and where did they come from? Do your beliefs empower you or do they disempowering you? Do that disempower you? Do they propel you forward? Do they hold you back? Are they a strength?

Are they a limitation? Did you choose them? Did you consciously choose your beliefs or did you unconsciously adopt your beliefs from someone or something else? Most of us, me included, we kind of wake up metaphorically one day in our life, and now we're twenty thirty, and now we're forty, and we've got all of these beliefs that we didn't choose, and some of those beliefs are massively limiting, massively self limiting.

So this is not to say we need to let go of all our current beliefs and go on a treasure hunt for a bunch of new ones. It means perhaps we need to think about thinking meta cognition number three, and we need to reflect on our beliefs and think to ourselves, is there any chance that this belief that I didn't actually choose is not true? Is there any

chance this is flawed or partly flawed? Is there any chance that I am holding on to this belief that I didn't choose, not because it's true or right, but because it's familiar, But because if I question this belief, especially among my friends and family who all share this belief, I'm going to be seen as bad or a defector or a problem, and I'm going to feel guilty. I'm going to feel guilty because I'm questioning what I've been

taught and told and trained and programmed and coerced to believe. Well, that is not you being you, That is you being a version of them, And that is that is not believing something because you had a personal revelation or light bulb or understanding or moment in time, and then moved forward with this personal revelation. This is you aligning to certain ideologies and thoughts and behaviors and beliefs because you feel compelled to and you want to stay part of

the group. All I'm going to say to you is think about that. I'm going to say, think about whether or not your beliefs are yours one. Think about two whether or not they're prepar telling you forward or holding you back. And think about whether or not your whole identity is tied in with certain beliefs. And because your identity is tied in with certain beliefs, you are absolutely unteachable unless the thing that I'm trying to teach you

aligns with your current belief and that's number five. Number five is being I'm going to say, it's two things. It's being teachable and it's being courageous enough to unlearn. There have been so many things over my life that I've had to unlearn. There have been so many things that I thought were true that aren't. And there have been times when I really pushed back because I thought, I it's not I believe I believe, but I absolutely I mean I really fucking believed, like I thought, there

was absolutely no chance that I will. That's wrong. Well, that's a pretty precarious psychological position to take because when you think, you know, even if we go with religion, I'm sorry to bring the old chest Nutter nut up, but it's not about religion. Remember, it's about thinking. So when you realize that they are in the ballpark of four thousand religions in the world ballpark depending on what research you look at, but let's go three to four thousand,

and there's about twelve major religions in the world. And then in the middle of all of that diversity of theology and psychology and sociology and beliefs and history and texts. And you think, now again, this about thinking, and this is about beliefs, and this is about mindset. You think that you are connected to the one true book or you have got the hotline to whoever or whatever it

is that's running the show, not everyone else. And so therefore when we think, as I did for many years, I absolutely thought that the group, let's just go with the group that I was in. I one hundred percent thought that that we are we are the one true We've got the truth. We've got the capital T. We've got the truth, not a warded down version of the truth.

And even the other people who kind of inhabit our overall religion, you know, they have different doctrines, they're different denominations, they're different groups, and they're kind of in the ballpark, but they're not us, And to be honest, they're kind of wrong. Wow. Fuck, imagine going through life without actual evidence or data being that arrogant. And I was that arrogant. I was unteachable. So for us to question our beliefs now, by the way, I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying

you could be wrong. By the way, you could have a certain idea or faith or belief and it could be completely I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying, when we think we're infallible, when we believe we can't be wrong, there should be fucking alarm bells going off on planet you these days. I assume every day, I assume I will say probably at least one thing, but many things that are either completely or untrue or flawed. And I don't say it because I'm making shit up or I'm

trying to mislead anyone. I say it because that's what I believe to be true at the time, and then later on I find out I was wrong. So often when I will say something, I will preface it with listen, this is in research or science. I don't absolutely, unequivocally know this, but this is what I think, based on my journey, based on my experiences, based on my interaction, based on the research I've done, based on what I

have been through. These are my thoughts, these are my ideas, These are my works in progress around this particular thing. Number six. Number six is courage. People are scared of being scared. I think. In fact, I heard Tom Cruise say this, so I'm definitely not taking credit for it. He said, he said, I'm scared all the time, I'm fearful, and that for me was a bit of a you know, is he a weirdo? I don't know. You make your

own judgment. Is he weird? I don't care. But he said something that really resonated with me is that I get scared all the time, but I'm not scared of being scared. I'm not scared of being scared. And the only place, the only place that courage can exist is in the presence of being scared, in the presence of fear. Now, think about think about a life where we have no courage. Then every time something scares us, it's in control. We're not in control. It will determine what we do, not us.

It will it will run the show, It will make the decisions, it will choose the behaviors, the actions and reactions. Because in the middle of the fear, I am dominated, or I am paralyzed, or I am controlled by that fear. I am not suggesting at all that you be fearless. You won't be fearless. I won't be fearless. By the way, Am I ever a big fucking baby? Am I ever a coward?

as much fear as the typical person. But I know that a big part of my growth, my learning, my development, my resilience comes from being courageous and doing things that if it was only about what I'm feeling, if it was only about you know, whether or not I'm fearful or not fearful, I wouldn't do these things. So being able to recognize that scares the fuck out of me. Also, that's okay. Also, I'm going to be brave. I'm going to be courageous. Could I get hurt? Yep? Could I

get devastated? Yep. Now I'm not talking about this kind of courage. I'm not talking about doing reckless things. I'm talking about being courageous in an intelligent, strategic, practical way to create a positive outcome. Number seven is controlling our controllables. I feel like your honor. Notice I'm saying I feel like or it's my experience. It's my observation that many, many, many people waste a lot of time and energy and

effort and focus and potential talent on things they can't control. Winging, sooking, bitching, complaining, attention seeking, sympathy seeking through things that are out of their control, or even having things that are in their control that they won't do anything about because it's hard. But I guess my main asterisk point here is focusing our physical, mental, and emotional energy on things that we can't control, and wasting our physical, mental and emotional energy

on the things that are within our control. So there are things that happen around me, things that affect me. Things in the media, the social media, the weather, the government, are the human beings, certain outcomes, shit with the bank, shit with bah bah bah with the real estate, with the market, with this, things that affect my life that I know I can at very best have a tiny, if any influence over. Usually it's none because it's the

macro and I'm in the micro. So what I can do is I can go, all right, well, that's gonna happen. I can't change that. But what can I change in reaction or response to that? What is in my control. What's in my control is not what happened this morning. It's done, it's dusted, it's out of the way. It's history, it's a past event. But what I can control is what I do now off the back of that thing that I didn't want to happen. I can control my words.

I can control my responses, my interactions, what I post on social media, what I don't. There are many times over the years. There have been many times over the years where I have really wanted to vent about something, and maybe a few times I have, but generally ninety nine times out of one hundred, I will think about that thing. I will think about how I'm going to verbalize it. I might even write all of it or

part of it down. And then I get to the point where my emotions subside somewhat and I say, essentially, what is the point of what I'm doing? Will it change anything? Am I looking for sympathy? Am I looking for attention? And often the answer is yes. And I will make a decision, a higher level consciousness decision to not waste any more time on that. I'm going to focus on what's in my control. I'm going to invest energy and what's in my control, and I'm going to

try and have that bigger thinking. Number eight is we're on the home straight. Number eight is that we tend to ask a lot of us ask redundant, pointless, unhelpful questions. Oh why does this always happen to me? Depends how it's asked, I guess, but how come he can eat whatever he wants and I look at food and I gain weight and blah blah blah. Right, they're not really

questions that want actual practical solutions. They're questions that want attention or sympathy or a little bit of emotional support. All understandable. But what I was going to say, what we know is but I'm going to say what I

know is based on my experience. Let's do that. I'm going to say what I know based on my experience is when I genuinely ask, and the people that I've worked with genuinely ask better questions, we put ourselves in a more solution focused, practical headspace when I make When I ask better questions, I get more clarity, I get more perspective, I get more objectivity, hard thing to get, as we all live a subjective life with subjective experiences.

But I get more awareness and clarity and context. And then after I've asked questions which are meaningful and intelligent, I tend to make better decisions. And when I make better decisions off the back of those better questions, then I tend to do better things. When I ask better questions, I make better decisions, I do better things, and I

create better outcomes, So there's there. Well, there can be a direct correlation between the quality of the question that you ask and the outcome that you produce, And of course, the outcomes that we produce in our world, to a large extent, determine the quality of our personal experience. When I am producing better outcomes based on the genesis, that was a better question, I'm producing better outcomes in my world now I am inhabiting a better psychological, emotional, and

experiential reality. So it starts with questions, is this a great question? This ties in with number nine, which I maybe should have gone with something bit different, But these do tie in very closely, and that is that is

the capacity to be solution focused. I feel like a lot of people are so concerned with the problem, so all about the problem, so invested in the problem, that they're never really truly trying to find a solution because talking about the problem gives them attention, it gives them sympathy, it gives them some kind of emotional and or psychological reward that works for them, So they'll just keep bang

on about the problem. They'll just keep that shit up because it feeds some kind of a need in them. And while I understand that that is not something that we want to be all about, we do not want to be about that. So here's what we want. We want to acknowledge the problem. Of course, we're not pretending there aren't problems. Okay, what's the problem. Well, the problem is that every time I talk in a meeting, old mate talks over the top of me, and it's disrespectful.

And so then when old mate talks over the top of me in our staff meetings and I'm up the front, now he's given me the shits. Now I want to talk to you about him and what a dickhead is and how he doesn't pay attention and I'm the bus and it's disrespectful and blah blah, blah blah. And then an hour later I come up for fucking air because

I'm so consumed with this problem. Whereas if in the first place I've said I had a gone, you know what, in this environment, in this situation, this thing keeps to the keeps happening. I don't like it. It's not great. It's not good for me, it's not good for him, it's not good for the group. So here's what I think. Here's what I think. I think I might catch up with him for a coffee. I just want to have a chat to him. I don't want to throw him under the bus. I'm just going to catch up and

talk to him. Or I know that he trains, maybe we'll do a workout together, or or or or. Now I'm coming up with one, two, three, four, five, ten potential solutions. I've recognized the problem, I've articulated it, I've spoken about it for one or two minutes, and now I'm all about resolving the problem. I'm all about being solution focused. You are going to in your life the course of your life. Over the course of your life, you are going to be the number one problem solver

on planet you. I think, to an extent, how well we can do life, to an extent, is about how well we can solve problems like big and small. Every day we're solving problems. Every day, we're figuring shit out. Every day, things happened that wasn't what we wanted or planned or needed, big and small, like tiny and drastic and life changing. But nonetheless, you know, in the middle of that that problem, in the middle of that event or that thing that we didn't want to happen.

with that, you know. And he's in constant pain. And I saw him today for an hour and I trained him and I trained with him, and I help him around the gym and I set him up and I help him move and sit and stand, and you know, it's a very very hands on experience. And like, firstly working with him, obviously, I don't charge him when I say working with him, being with him, helping him, training him, serving him, gives me just so much joy. And I'm not saying that because, oh it makes harp sound good.

It gives me so much fucking joy, right, I'd rather train him than you know, a super talented olympian. I would rather train John to not say I don't like training Olympians. I've trying to bunch their good. But probably the most rewarding work that I've ever done with anybody or any human is that dude. And so for me, one of the things that I love about my life, which sounds weird what I'm about to say, is that I'm constantly, if not very regularly around people who have

it shit physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. They're on struggle street. They are really challenged. And every time I come away one I hope that I've been of value. I hope that I've done something good. I hope that I've helped in a way. But every time I come away, I just I'm grateful, like I just have even though I know my life is good, you know, And I've spoken many times about how amazing is it that I can sit in a chair and then stand up. I can walk,

I can talk, I can see, I can hear. I can turn on a tap and get cold water. I can press a button and the room gets warm or cold. You know, I can walk upstairs. I can just I can walk down the street. Know that I'm not going to get bombed. I can, you know. I mean, fuck, my life is amazing. I don't deserve my life. I don't deserve my life. I just happened to be born in the right place at the right time. I didn't earn it. I was gifted this life. And so for me, that is why this is a gift. This is not

something that I deserve. I don't fucking deserve my life. I didn't do anything. I just I had great parents, so I grew up with great friends. I grew up in a great area. I live in a great place. And is there bad shit going on in the world? Of course? Has there always been bad shit going on in the world? Of course? And I'm not, like I said before, my head is not in the sand. I'm not pretending there are no bad things, no problems. But I know this when I look at the world through

a lens of gratitude. Also, yes, reason and logic and practicality. But when I look at my life, when I look at the world through that, and the opportunities I have, like right now, I'm talking to you. This is part of my job. You can probably discern that I enjoy doing this. This is not a hardship. This is not me just wheeling out some bullshit because I have an obligation to put up a podcast. This is me speaking from the heart, going to you who most of you

I've never met. Thank you, Thank you for supporting this. Thank you. I feel lucky that people listen. I feel blessed that I have sponsors. I feel so much gratitude for all of the stuff that I didn't and don't deserve. Now that I'm not saying I don't do any work and I don't create any results. Of course I do, but there's so much of my life that is just a gift. It's not a result of something that I've done or deserved. So gratitude. Gratitude definitely makes my top

ten high performance ingredients. Ah wow, I think I need food. Love your guts, See you next time.