I'll get our team. Welcome to another installment of the You Project. Jim Murphy, Welcome to the land down Under, if not literally virtually.
How are you? I'm great? Thanks Cregil.
Ha ha. I knew I shouldn't have told you that. I was telling everyone before we went live. I was telling Jim everyone that about how Australians tend to mutilate names and chuck a Y on the end or an O on the end, or abbreviate your surnames. So I'm going to be calling you Jim Bow throughout the whole podcast, just to get back at you. Tell my listeners where you are and what time is it over there? It's in the PM right, yeah, Sarah Creigil, I am in New York City. Just I say New York City right now.
I've done here yesterday from Chicago.
Okay? Perfect?
And how's the how's the meteoric rise to fame and recognition and attention.
It since I mean early this year?
I think we'll talk about it because most of Australians won't know the story and with respect.
Won't know you, but a lot of them will.
Now, how's it been having a big kind of shift in your reality?
From a public perspective, it's been amazing, you know, right off the bat, the first week January twelfth is when everything started with aj Brown and being reading the book on the sidelines and being filmed, and that week it was it was It's been an incredible change in my life since then, with the message of inter excellence going around the world. It's going to be in twenty five
languages this coming year. But the main message of interactionence is what's important, not Jim Murphy and the messages, is that cling to your life and lose it and give up your life for others and gain it selfless is fearless. And this is the most important thing, not not what happens to this guy here.
It isn't I mean, one hundred percent, and I love that. But also it's been great that this attention and recognition and as the kids would say, brand awareness. You know, you're a brand, Jim, brand awareness. I mean, it gives you a platform to share these ideas and your ideology and philosophy, you know. So it is really about the message, not the messenger. But it must be great to have the capacity to intersect and interact with millions of people, not thousands.
Yeah, incredible gifts from God that I can hopefully be a part of someone's lives, someone's lives and help them have a transformed heart.
So could you just tell I mean, I know the story, but my listeners who don't know the story. So you wrote a book. Jim's book is called Inner Excellence Achieve Extraordinary Business Success through Mental Toughness.
Did I get all of that? Correct? Yeah, that's exactly what it was from two thousand and nine, the book that was first published by McGraw hill, and then I got to write in twenty eighteen and I self published in twenty twenty. So the book that Aj Brown read on National TV and during the Super Bowl was any Excellence train your mind for extraordinary performance in the best possible life. Correct.
Sorry, I've got that underneath my other night. I should have read that, not to self. So just give my audience a quick insight into January twelve this year. So what for those who don't know the story, let us know what happened.
Yeah. Sure. There's an NFL football player named AJ Brown and he plays for the Philadelphia Eagles. He's, if not the best wide receiver in the NFL, one of the best in the NFL. And he was filmed during a playoff game, the Wildcard game, which is the first round of the playoffs, reading the book during the game. And so they asked him afterwards, you know, you know, the announcers zoomed in on it and said, wow, what's going
on here? This is very unique. They interviewed him after the game and they said, you know, why were you reading? Were you frustrated or what's going on? And he said, oh, I bring that book in Excellence with me to every single game. I use it to get prepared and centered before the game. I read it after every drive during the game. It gets me centered and that's why I read it. And he said to you know, my teammates
call it the recipe. And so that was the start in January twelfth, and then then they filmed them reading it every game in the playoffs and including during the Super Bowl. And have you subsequently met with him? Yeah, amazing guy, very humble, gentle guy. And so it was it was wonderful to get to speak with AJ. So what's his royalty cat? Thirty percent? Has that work? Well? Yeah, I mean I'm so grateful that AJ. See what AJ did,
was he he stayed true to himself. You know, you know, if you're going to be reading a book, look on the sidelines during the game, people are going to question you. And what he did is he said, Hey, what I want to do and show the world. You know, whether the world likes it or not, I know they may judge me, but that's up to them. I just want to be true to myself and this book helps me stay centered and focused. And so I'm going to do
that regardless of what the world says. It's going to make me a better teammate, a better person, and a better player. And so I'm going to do it even though it may look awkward. And I think that's one thing he showed us that that to be great, you need to take risks, and you know, risk what people think about you. And he also showed us that we all have time to read. Yeah, yeah, did you when you met with him? How does he like?
Does he does he have certain paragraphs or certain messages that are highlighted that he just goes back and rereads like a bit of a mantra, or like, clearly he's not just browsing through the book on the sideline.
How did it work? Yeah, there's big sections that he has highlighted almost every sentence early on in the book in the first chapter that was really important to him. And so inter Excellence is really about understanding that self
centered This is the biggest challenge that we face. It leads to fear and when you're a wide receiver in the NFL, you can't be focusing on your what you want but can't control, and you've got to have this sort of fearlessness and got to be willing to take risks and to fail and put yourself out there if you want to be a great receiver, which he is. And so the book helps him stay centered and do that.
What's your understanding of all, Like if you had to try to explain, like my page day is literally in the mind, right, and if even for meta and not that I'm a journius, but even for me to try to explain self awareness and the self regulation and understanding the mind and metacognition and metaperception and all this stuff, right, try to understand the self that's in the middle of me. You know, how do you explain the mind to people? Because part of the toddle of your book is trying
your mind. So if we don't understand our mind, we can't try and it rot. How do we understand ourselves knowing that our perspective of everything is a subjective one.
The first thing that understand is that you are not your mind. Your mind is a part of you that you need to train. And if you don't understand this, and this is not something that we're taught in school, that I am not my mind, then you're going to fuse with your thoughts. The problem with fusing with your thoughts is you're going to get a lot of thoughts that come from the environment that are really negative and
maybe even horrible thoughts that come into your mind. And if you don't understand that I am not my mind, then you're going to think, oh, I just thought a terrible thought. I am a terrible person. And this is absolutely not true. The most compassionate, loving people in the world have terrible thoughts that come into their head from the environment and so sore and understand that you are not your mind, but it's part of you that needs to needs training.
Yeah, and it's I mean that awareness that in the moment awareness that you're talking about, which is spot on. It's like realizing that this isn't me. And this doesn't mean I'm a bad person or even a good person necessarily. It just means that I'm having this thought in this moment and to be able to lean into that like I'm always interested what's the origin story of this? Like why is this here now?
This thought? Where did this come from?
And you know, for me, over the years, it's usually been about insecurity or self doubt or imposter syndrome or a myriad of other negative emotional kind of triggers, and being able to perhaps have a thought like I'm not good enough while actually knowing at the same time I am good enough.
Do you know what I mean? It's almost this juxtaposition. So I do a lot of.
I'm sure you stand in front of a lot of groups, but I do a lot of speaking, and I can simultaneously, you know, I did a speaking gig yesterday in Queensland, which is up the top of Australia. We're down the bottom, and as I was being introduced, I often have this feeling, you know, this is the day that you're going to crash and burn. They won't like you know, all this stuff right, It's not overwhelming, but it's just there. This
could be the last time, you know. But I've got all this knowledge, I've got all this data that says, well, Craig, you're not terrible at this. You're not terrible. So there's these two things that can coexist. One is this fear that I'm useless. The other is the knowledge that I'm not useless.
Right, yeah, And so what inter Excellence says is, let's get out of that whole game altogether, that whole idea altogether. As I am useless, i am not useless. I'm good enough. I'm not good enough. I can do this, I can do this. Let's get out of that altogether and be completelyelfless.
Because when you're selfless, you're fearless. And so if I was thinking that I'm the one that's doing this, that I wrote this book, that people are loving all around the world, and that I'm making a difference in people's lives, then it would be very stressful for me. But I don't think I'm doing it. I'm not. I'm just well, First of all, the book is just this compilation of ideas that I didn't create. I just put them together
and God helped me put them together. And every good thing I've ever done was God gave me this gift that I've been sharing and being able to be a part of. And so I don't want any self confidence whatsoever. I don't even want to think about Jim at all. I want to be completely selfless and therefore fearless. I want to be trusting God, not Jim, the creator of the universe, not me, and so I don't want to be in the picture of whatsoever.
I love that kind of like I'm not the solution. I'm just pointing to the solution. And I love that you said that none of these ideas or none of the wisdom comes from you, it comes through you, kind of thing, right, which I think is so true.
And it's funny.
I talk about often the like the wisdom that comes out of in your case, that comes out of the Bible specifically, probably more relevant a New Testament for most of us, but the Old Testament as well, but even you know the Stoics and all of these insights and all of this wisdom. It's it's like Socrates said two and a half thousand years ago, the beginning of wisdom is to know thyself, right, And I'm like, well, that's
literally part of my research. There's nothing new here, Like we've been trying to figure ourselves out for millennia for probably you know, millions of years, I guess, but or millennia let's go six and a half thousand years biblically. But you know, trying to understand why I am the way I am and where do I finish and where does the other stuff start? You know's the what's me? What's not me?
And yeah, that's kind of It's a really interesting thought, is to.
Not take pride in what you're doing or not to be proud in that negative sense.
Yeah, I can share a little bit more about that, Craig if you like. So as a performance coach, professional athletes and Olympic athletes come to me to perform better, and one thing that they often want is more confidence. It was surprised to me when I first started working with elite athletes that are some of the best in the world. For a top ten player in the world on the PGA Tour or whoever, saying they want more confidence seems strange because they're, you know, already one of
the best. And what I found in my experience is that there's something that's that's much more powerful than confidence. And like I said, I don't even want to be self confident. What's more powerful than confidence is presence. And if you fully engaged heart, mind and body and attached to what you're trying to do, then I'll take that person. If we have two people of equal talent, I'll take that person every time over someone who's confident, because because
when you're confident, you can be careless. But when you're fully engaged, fully present in the moment, then you're going to see way more opportunities and there's no fear in the present moment. Fear is in general a self focused future thing of what's going to happen to me. And so that's how I think about confidence and presence.
How do we I know this nine to three step plan neither is there with pretty much anything.
But how do we how do we be more present?
How do we I agree with you, but just telling somebody don't be nervous, don't be fearful, is not a solution. It's like somebody is fearful, somebody who is overthinking, Like telling them to not overthink in a solution.
So how do we move towards interaxcellence? Really the whole system of inner excellence. You know, the book is like three hundred pages or something. It's really about that, answering that question, how do I become fully present in a world with so much out of my control, like my careers on the line. How can I be fully present?
In fact, that was the question that I asked sports psychologists when I first started off on this quest with You know, I spent five years full time writing and researching, fifty to sixty hours a week for five years in a row, two and a half years in the desert give away. Over half my possessions went to go live
a life of solitude, got rid of my TV. And that question was how can an Olympic athlete train for four years from an event that may last less than a minute and have peace and confidence in that situation. And that's what inter excellence is in one sense, largely about, is how do we do that? And there's many aspects to that, but it's really getting down to understand human behavior and human optimization and human behavior is understanding that
the heart is the key to your life. And this is the first thing, the first major breakthrough that I learned in the five years of writing and research is that if you want to make a difference in your life or in anyone's life, you have to get far more than your mind. We have to get to the heart. And when I say heart, I mean your spirit and your will and you doing your PhD in neuropsychology correct.
I think this is the number one thing that as you continue to study, is to really add to your research is the heart and your will and your spirit and heart. I use some swords interchangeably, and it's how do we train the heart? Because when you squeeze, what's in your heart comes out, just like when you squeeze an orange, what comes out is orange juice. Your heart is the source of everything you think, say and do
in concert with your subconscious mind. And so we want to get that heart to love most what's most empowering. And this is what inter excellence is. And then when you as you continue to do that every day, the number one goal with inter excellence is to learn and grow every day. A big part of self awareness and the number one thing of that self awareness are One of the number one things is to understand that my greatest need as a human is for love and acceptance.
And similarly, the greatest fear is to not get that love and acceptance, to get rejection, rejected, And so that's why there's so much anxiety. A big reason why there's so much anxiety in the world today is because if I fail, if I look foolish, I'm going to get judged in a huge way because everyone can see it on social media, is going to get replayed over and over, and then I'm going to get rejected, which is the biggest fear. Do you think sometimes I love that? Thank you?
Do you think sometimes in our quest for love and acceptance and belonging and connection, we perhaps insert ourselves into the wrong relationship or the wrong group because some connections better than none.
Oh? Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. We're constantly like this is our greatest motivator is to get that love and acceptance. And so we're looking at our world of circumstances and results. What's going to get me the most love and acceptance from everybody? And so in the book, I talked about the acronym palms, possessions, achievements, looks, money, and status. And so if I can increase any, hopefully all or any of those five things, then I can get more of
that love and acceptance. But the problem is so much of this oide of my control. And so then we start really grasping and reaching and hoping people will will love and accept them. So we're going to try and come off in a way that you think better of me when I talk. And so hopefully when we're talking, I might slide in some things that make me look good in a certain way so that you will say some things that I'll feel better about myself, because that's
ultimately what I'm hoping for as a human. And so if you don't have that sense of deep love, the ideal is to be fully known and fully loved by someone of great importance. If you go out into the world without that, then you're going to do whatever you can to get that from whoever you're interacting with throughout the day.
Can you tell me about you're quite unique? I love that, I love how how this is not the right word, but it's all that comes to mind, how love focused you are, and how much how much your beliefs, your faith drives what you do, and that kind of I know it's not an idea. I know it's a lived experience of selflessness and kindness. Tell me about the intersection of your faith and the science and the research and the practical kind of outworking of doing what you do.
Yeah, so when I was in the desert, that's a great question. I learned that the heart is the key to your life. And so then the big question is, well, what do I do with that information? How do I train the heart? Like I've never heard anyone say this before. And so what I learned, like I shared, is that that we want to teach train the heart to love most what's most empowering. And you know this is this is this is a challenge. It's a big challenge because
as humans, we're constantly wanting instant gratification. I just want to feel better right now. And the reason we don't. Most people get stuck is that they come to these uncomfortable places in their life. They get these feelings that they don't like, and they try to get rid of the feeling. And this is where addiction happens. Addiction is
anything that stops your growth. And so if we look at the cell phone, for example, the cell phone is this it can be this addiction that stops your growth because we get these uncomfortable feelings and we've all done it where I'm really uncomfortable. Right now, I'm going to grab my phone and so I'm going to look at things that will take my mind away from it and I can get some relief, just you know, just like watching TV. And so. But in excellence is the number
one goal every day is to learn and grow. And that's learning grow and self awareness and learn and grow and love with some encourage. So because who you're becoming is the most important thing about you, not what you're achieving. Because what you're achieving you may think is the greatest thing in the world. But what I thought was the greatest thing in the world when I was nineteen is very different than what I think it is now. And so, yeah, do you think that.
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Like in our culture in Australia, I'm sure in the States, I'm sure most places, like success is in the world, it's framed as stuff. What you have, what you earn, what you are and what you drive, where you live, what you look like, what people think, you brand, bank balance, it's
all that external. I can see that stuff, right, And you and I both know, I'm sure we both know lots of people who are richly rich, rich, successful, and from the outside looking in, it's all Hollywood and glamour and razzle dazzle, But the inside out is sometimes psychological, emotional, and spiritual bankruptcy. Right, So from the outside looking in
ace from the inside out a terrible experience. Talk to me a little bit about success and navigating what the world calls success, but then that lived experience in the middle of that.
Yeah, this is this is the big illusion, this pursuit of success, because Western culture says success is having those five things possessions, achievements, looks, money, and status, and it's really this cheeks your tail empty pursuit of these temporary transactions, and well, we really want something meaningful and empowering if you really think about it, what you want for yourself and maybe your kids is from most of us, we want I want to live a meaningful life with amazing
experiences and deep and enriching relationships where we're learning and growing and making a difference in the world and with an excelance. We have four daily goals that help us help us do that. The number one goal is learn and grow. And then within that our four daily goals is number one is to give the best of what you have today. Some days it's not going to be very much, but understand that even if I maybe a thirty or forty percent day, I'm going to give one
hundred percent of that thirty or forty percent. And then two is to be present. Three is to be grateful. Four is to focus on my routines and only what I can control present, because there's no fear in the present moment of greatest obstacle fear and there's no fear in the present moments. We want to be able to constantly practice doesn't mean to be present. And when I say present at the highest level, I mean to have a sense of freedom and joy and that the feeling
that anything's possible. And then gratitude is so important because it's directly linked to inner piece, which is directly linked to interstree strength, mental toughness, and they're all linked to beauty, and so gratitude is crucial. And one thing that might be helpful to think about is that we're either grateful or entitled. There's only two options in your life and your day to day life. You're either grateful or entitled, and you can think of which one you were saying
yesterday by like, was I grateful yesterday? Didn't someone follow me around and say, yeah, that's a grateful person, or he was grateful or weren't you. You know, it's your own you can answer it yourself. But and then if you weren't, and then you were entitled. And so I'm not saying this to say you should be a good person. I'm just saying that when we're grateful, we're going to have more inner peace in your strength. When we're entitled, we're going to have less inner peace. And industryth wow.
And then the fourth one is to focus on your routines and only what you can control. I love it.
So from when we were born till now, you and may sitting on this chat you're chatting with a weird guy on the other side of the world. You know, you and I and everyone listening has been to an extent programed. You know, we've been programmed by culture, media, social media, situation, circumstance, environment, people, school, and then we kind of, you know, we end up how we end up.
Part of its genetic part.
Of this programming, this unconscious conditioning of how we see the world and beliefs and values and ideas and some of that programming works in inverted commas, and some of it doesn't, some of its self sabotages, some of it's empowering. How do we how do we think more critically and build more awareness self awareness and more space between the programming, our involuntary programming, and who we can be? Is that a stupid question?
Like? Does that make sense to you? Like?
I feel most people are a bipe, Like we don't think the way we think the way we think.
Because we've been trying to think that way.
I believe I believe this is the best team because Dad said it was the best team on this religion.
Because my family is this religion.
I'm a vegan because mom's a vegan, right, Rather than saying, okay, apart from all that programming and conditioning, what do I think?
What's my truth? What are my beliefs? You know? Yeah?
I think I think if you just go with the flow, you know, this is my life and this is what's kind of been laid out for me, and you know, up until you graduate from high school, that's definitely the best thing to do, is to follow that path, or it's a great thing to do, But once you graduate from high school, now you're making choices on your own, and if you don't really be true to yourself, then you're going to become like everyone else and you're going
to live a life of mediocrity, let's say. But the big question is what does it mean to be true to myself? And so I talk about this in the book that I wrote called The Best Possible Life, How to Live with deep content and joy and confidence. And I mentioned earlier about training in your heart. See, the human heart needs training because we'll at least mind us,
because you can think about yours credit. So maybe when you're you've been stressed and under pressure, you've always gone to the thing that's most empowering to yourself into the world, the most loving thing. But it's not what's happened to me every time. And so we need to train our hearts so that that it does not get caught up in self protection and uh self importance, because then it becomes overinflated or underinflated, and then we don't have an
accurate view of the world. And so in order to have an accurate view of the world, which is what I call humility, then we need to train it and uh so that that's a daily process. Yeah, yeah, was there.
Was there something that preempted your journey to the desert? You might not want to share. But did something happen because obviously not. Most people don't go to the desert for five years, sell most of their stuff and write a book fifty hours a week or thereabouts.
Like that's quite an ietypical thing. How did that come about? Why did that happen? What was going on with you? Yeah? My dream, my whole life since I was eight years old, was to be a professional athlete, and so I got dropped by the Chicago Cubs and that was a dream come true. But I played professional baseball for five years and I got injured and had to retire, and I was devastated. I was in my early twenties and my whole identity was as Jim Murphy pro based off player.
When I lost it, I felt like I lost everything. I was driving a truck for a FedEx downtown Seattle, Washington. I get a call from a college teammate and he says, can you take over this coaching this high school baseball team Innercy, Seattle at saw Boys School, which I'd never considered coaching. It just worked with my schedule. I decided to do it, and so I have the best time.
We go undefeated. And so I was like, oh, how do I realized my destiny was not to be a superstar professional baseball player, but to be a superstar professional baseball coach. But how do I go from coaching fifteen year olds to coaching the Yankees and winning the World Series.
So I came up with this plan. I'm going to get a master's in coaching science or physical education, and so I can get a job teaching pe to pay the bills and a coach of the high school baseball team, win a championship, get a job in UNI, coach the baseball team, win a championship, and work my way into the pros. And so that was my plan. I enrolled at the University of British Columbia and Canada. I started
a baseball team there. I get my master's in coaching science and for my master's paper, I interview thirty nine major League baseball managers and gms and other coaches on how to build a championship team. Get a job of the Texas Rangers two weeks after graduation. Dream come true. But then I quit six months later in tears. It was just was not a good fit. And I thought I was a failure because I thought, this is the best job that I could possibly do. It's going to
be this extraordinary life. I'm meant to be a superstar. And I always had this kind of sense that every girl is going to want to be with me, and every guy is going to want to be me, you know, this incredible egotisticol thing. And then so then Jim Murphy pro baseball player becomes Jim Murphy nobody in my mind. And then it happens again as a coach, and then I get asked my Major League Baseball if I want to be the hitting coach for South Africa for the
two thousand O Big Trials. I don't know if you remember what city that was in, but it was somewhere down south. I yeah, yeah, it was. It was about city to Melbourne. Yeah, I look, it's good.
I mean, I try Sydney, they try, you know, they have a go and it's good. It's just uh, they like a pole cousin to Melbourne.
Everybody does the best of what they have in their heart. Oh my Sydney listeners a just turning off now. So I was fortunate enough to work with South African national team. We win Olympic trials, go to Sydney and have one of the biggest subset victories in Olympic baseball in history. You get to meet Nelson Mandela. It was an amazing experience. I'm still close friends with all those people in the two thousand Olympic team. And after that, I fell in
love with Australia. By the way, still one of my favorite countries. But after the Olympics, what am I going to do with my life? I go back to being a personal training which I did in grad school. And then I was just getting restless and I wanted to make a bigger difference in people's lives. I get a call from my teammate in pro baseball, Ricky Shruggs, starting a baseball academy in Tucson, Arizona, in the desert. Can you come for the weekend and help me launch this thing?
I decide. At the time, I just didn't. I was getting really restless, and I knew I just really felt like I was created to do something important, something special for the world, and I just didn't know what that was. And so I was like kind of getting to your question. I'm going to move to the desert. I'm going to
go live a life of solitude. I'm going to give away most of my possessions, including my TV, live a simple life, and I'm going to figure out what I'm My destiny is, what am I put on this earth to do? And I'm going to find something that I'm willing to give my life for that I'm willing to live and die for and dedicate my life to. And so I left for the desert and that's where I ended up deciding to become a personal coach to professional
baseball players. My first two clients too amazing. So I'm going to put together a little manual how to have peace and confidence under pressure for future pro baseball players. Call up a sports psychologist, ask them how long? How can Olympic athlete train for four years and for an event that may take less than a minute and have peace and confidence in that situation? That brings more questions
and answer. So I call another psychologists and another and I spent five years full time writing and researching that question, and through that that becomes the book inter of Excellence. Wow, that is that is an interesting story.
And in the middle of all of that, I mean, we'll jump out. I want to talk to you about pressure or perceived pressure in a moment, but I want to talk to you about I don't know. I'm scared to open the god door. But did you grow up in a religious household? Did you always have faith? Has that waxed and wind? Have you?
You know?
The purpose bigger than me? Has that always been a Has that been a constant?
Definitely not in my heart. If you ask people that know me or know me most of my life, they'll say, if you can believe it, Jim was even more self centered back then than he is now. Extremely uh. And so my life was really about Jim for most of my life. And I think it's it's actually the default is self centeredness. And so that's why it's a big challenge, because self centeredness leads to fear, at least the comparison
and anxiety and fear. My mom is full Japanese and she grew up in Japan and her lineage is Samurai, and so I talk about that in the beginning of the book. And so her impact on my life was great, and my dad was also had a huge impact on my life. But my life really changed in twenty ten. I had a near mental breakdown. And this is right after the book came out. It comes out in bookstores
around the world, and I spend my life savings. I'm ninety thousand dollars in debt now and I'm in downtown Denver, and my mind is kind of spiraling out of control. I'm thinking, Okay, yeah, the books and bookstores around the world, and Barnes and Noble, the biggest chain in the US. But you have no money to hire someone to market the book. You don't know how to do marketing, and you don't like promoting yourself. This is not a good marketing plan. And if no one hears about the book,
no one's going to buy the book. If no one buys the book, mark Barnes and Noble will pull it off their shelves. And this could happen in a few weeks, and then five years of your life, ninety thousand dollars, all of that, that's all gone, and you're going to be also labeled a failure, a total failure, because everyone knows you're obsessed about this project for five years and ned failed. And if that happens, that I couldn't see
how this wouldn't happen, And this is what happens. This is why we're created for a relationship, and this is why it's so important to have to love others so you can have people that you can share your fears with. And because fear grows in the dark, and I didn't have anyone that I could go to, and I pretty much isolated myself for five years. And so this is what happens when you isolate yourself, that you can have these near breakdowns, which is what was happening to me.
And I thought, you know, if I'm a total failure, you know, the book gets pulled off the shelves, then I'm gonna have to get a regular job because no pro athletes is going to hire a failure to coach them, which is why I wrote the book to coach pro athletes. And then if no one hires me, then I'm going to have to get a regular job. But it's two thousand and nine. The economy we're in a recession, so no one's going to hire a failure, So I'm going
to die alone in the street. So that was what the near mental breakdown happened, and my life and so I think of my life as in terms of before that moment, because that moment was a huge moment in my life. I started my life to God. I meet this homeless harpist who ends up possibly being an angel, and my life completely changes. And I meet these people that total strangers that tell me what's going to happen in my life. They come true, and yeah, it was
pretty amazing what God's done. And when was that twenty ten? That yeah, twenty ten. I wrote about this my life story in the book The Best Possible Life.
Identity is an interesting thing, isn't it, Because when your story is I'm going to be well.
I am right, I am this, or I am.
That, I'm going to be a finmous author, I'm going to be this whatever, or I am I'm an athlete, and then it took out you don't end up being the athlete.
You want to be, or.
You know, I'm a vegan and then somebody disco or then I get some information that doesn't sit with my information, or you know, like when when that thing that we identify with either turns out to be not correct or flawed or it doesn't work out, then we don't know who we are, you know, like I for a really silly example, but for a long time to my Also, I come from a personal training background like you, and I actually set up the first personal training center in
Australia in nine ninety, right, So I have a big background working with clients, and I used to teach and even in the eighties, I'm that old you know about the food pyramid. And then and then one day we all kind of figure out, oh, maybe that's not exactly the best science in the world. And then but I'm really intertwined with that science or that message or that version of the truth because I've been teaching it and telling it and it and then i find out, well, Craig,
you're totally wrong. And then all of a sudden, I've got to go I've either got to double down or I've got to just say, oh that thing that I thought, that's that's not true. And so that's a It's identity is an interesting thing because you don't want to become I don't know, I feel like you don't want to become too entwined with well, a lot of ideologies or philosophies, you know, because it can be fraught with danger.
Well, One of the biggest problems that we have as humans is we have a single story for our lives. What I mean by that is that we have a picture of how my life should go and how it shouldn't go, and pretty much along a certain track, and oftentimes it doesn't go that way. And when it doesn't go that way, then we get really thrown off and have this real fear, anxiety and stress. But the cute understanding is that you don't know it's best for you. You know, you have your goals and your dreams, but
is it best for you. There could be if you could take your top ten goals right now, and they could maybe none of them are good for you, or maybe there's twenty others that are way better for you than the top ten you have right now. And that's why I want to you know, the first principle of inter excellence is to remember that all things are here
to teach me and help me. It's all working for my good and hold things, hold your results and circumstances lately, because far more important than what you achieve is who you're becoming.
I want to chat a little bit about pressure and typically, like you know, when we talk about athletes. We talk about performing under pressure, and we know that we can get guys or girls who are amazing in practice and skilled and amazing you know, spatial awareness and timing and execution, and theoretically they're brilliant and even practically they're brilliant in a training setting where there's less or there's little to know pressure at times, sometimes there is, but then under
extreme pressure. I worked over here with an AFL club, which is the equivalent of an NFL club, which is the Australian Rules Football League. So I worked with a team over here for four years and I would often see guys who on the training track were nine and a half out of ten, but mentally and emotionally just would capitulate at times not always. So when mentally and emotionally they would struggle, then you know their skill goes down, their timing goes down, their ability to read the game
drops off, their confidence drops off everything. What's your theory on dealing with pressure? I feel like we have it wrong.
Oh yeah, so here's kind of how essentially, give you a little analogy. Prout's come to me or Olympic anthiort's come to me because the want to perform better, so they want to be world number one. And when a win a national championship or something like that, a world championship, and they're looking for some transaction, they want to get some achievement. That's I mean. I'm a performance coach. I help people achieve great things when become world number one.
And it's like they're coming to me for happiness, which I define as a positive temporary feeling based on what's happening. They want to get transaction, and what I teach them is how to have joy, which is a deep sense of well being, freedom, and gratitude independent of circumstances. And so can you remember your question?
I was just talking about dealing with pressure, and I feel like our paradigm is, Okay, you got to try and on the pressure. You got to you got to put yourself under immen's pressure. So when the real pressure comes, you're acclimatized, you know, mm hmm.
So uh. Interrextllence is really about a way of life and understanding that there's there's way too much out of your control to be attached to what you want. There's too much out of your control and you don't even know it's good for you, let it alone the best
thing for you. And so that's why we have these principles about developing yourself and training your heart and your mind and becoming a certain type of person, because the more you develop yourself, the better you're going to be in every aspect of your life on and off the field and have more joy. And so it's really understanding why do I want to become world number one, for example, or why do I want to have a million dollars
or a million followers. So if we say I wanted a million million dollars, well you don't want the money. You want what you think it's going to give you, right, I mean, we're not going to take the paper bills and put them in a bathtub and roll around in it unless you're a little bit crazy. What you're going to do is you're going to take that money. You're going to buy something with it. Maybe it's a house or a car, and you don't even want the house
or car. What you want is what you think it will give you some experience, which is going to create some feeling. And so what you really want is these feelings. And so what I help people understand is what do you really want? Why do you want to achieve this thing?
And let's go for that directly, Because if you want to live a life of deep contentment, joy and confidence independent of circumstance, for example, a life with the easy experiences and deep and enriching relationships where you're learning and growing and making a difference, if that's what you really want, then you can have that. Can you become world number one? I don't know, but it's so important to understand, is well, why do you want what you want? Let's go for
it directly. I asked this question, in the best possible life, what would you rather have a ten million dollar house on the water, paid off or would you rather live in an apartment paycheck to paycheck, no savings of your life, but be guaranteed and amazing experiences with deep and enriching relationships where you're filled with love, peace and joy every single day the rest of your life. Which would you
rather have? And it's a I think it's a really interesting question because the human mind in Western culture does not connect the two. It's those are opposites. If you're living paycheck to paycheck, there's no joy, there's no peace. But the reason why It's also such a good question is well, why do you want the ten million this beautiful house on the water, And like most of my life, I would have chosen the house. But what if no one could ever see it? Would you still choose the house?
What if no one could ever know you have it? Would you still choose it? Because for me, most of my life would have chosen the house. Because now I'm picturing, Oh, I'm going to have these get togethers and people are going to go, oh man, this is so amazing, and they're going to have these great experiences, and of course I'm going to be loved and they're going to say,
what a beautiful house. And I'm going to feel so important and loved and I'm going to feel like amazing because of what's going to happen, the attention and the experiences I'm going to have in that. But if we take that away and well with the inner excellence says, hey, let's go for that directly. Let's go for those experiences and that feeling that life directly. And that's what any excellent says. Yeah, I love that.
I mean that's we grow up in stories of well if I get that or own that or earn that or look like that or have that, then I will be content, or I'll be happier, I'll be fulfilled, or i won't be anxious anymore, I'll be calm. So we have this external kind of internal perceived correlation. Is that when that thing in my external physical, three dimensional visible world, the world that everyone can see, when I do that thing or have that thing, then the byproduct is my
internal world, the place where living happens, not life. Life happens out there, living happens in here. Then I'm going to be all of these things. It's that kind of
what do you want and why do you want it? Well, what I want is this, this and this, and then tell me your why, because that's actually what you want, like the reason under the you know, the goal, that's what you really are after you know it's it's it's so true, but it's so hard, especially you know when we do live in a world that values those things so much. And I'm not trying to sound too weird or philosophical or.
Deep everyone, but it's just true. You know.
It's I've I would say, and I could be wrong, but I would say. The people that I worked with over the years who are really, really wealthy were probably slightly more likely to be anxious and depressed and medicated for sleeplessness than the people that I work with who didn't have so much money. I'm not saying it's necessarily causal.
I'm not saying one equals the other. Of course, there are lots of wealthy people that I know that are pretty happy and pretty functional also, But when you believe that that external achievement will equal this internal outcome or experience, it's a slippery slope.
So yeah, I don't know.
I don't know that it's that it's hard in our It's not impossible, but it's hard in our culture to tell people you don't need all that, and they're like, well, it's all.
Right for you. You know, what about what about the.
You spoke before about instant gratification And we've got about six or seven minutes to go, so I appreciate your time. I feel we are so predisposed to comfort and convenience and certainty and predictability and instant gratification when real growth and development and adaptation and resilience kind of lives outside that stuff. So the question is we love convenience, We love certainty. We love predictability, we love comfort, we love familiarity.
But my question is how do we put that.
Stuff to one side so that we can step into the stuff that's really going to build resilience and competence and skill and understanding, which is usually the opposite. So where we grow is in uncertainty, is in discomfort, is in unfamiliarity, is in the not knowing.
Yees. So interaxcellence has three main areas that everything I do with clients has helped them in three main areas. It's belief, freedom and focused BFF like best Friends Forever. And belief is really what's the key there. Beliefs I define as a subconscious comfort level with what you feel is possible in your life, and of course with that what you feel is not possible. And so inter excellence is about expanding what you believe is possible. This is a major part of it, if not the main part
of interaxcellence. So how do we expand what we believe is possible? Well, what happens is beliefs are feelings, and we get when we come to the edge of our feelings. In other words, we get to a point where we're really uncomfortable most people back away and they're like, no, too uncomfortable, I can do this. Stop stop getting out of here. This is the average person, and you know
we've all done it. The people that have achieved extraordinary things and have become selfless and therefore fearless, they get to this, the uncomfortable feelings, and they're willing to sit in that discomfort to grow, because that's where the growth happens.
And when you recognize that if I want to live an extraordinary life with amazing experiences and all those great things, then I need to expand what I believe is possible, and I need to when I come to those moments when I'm really uncomfortable, I need to be able to embrace it and not leave that feeling. It's like Tom Cruise said so well, is that everyone's afraid, including myself. The difference is that I'm not afraid to be afraid.
And that's what I find. The biggest separator between the best and the rest is courage and people that are willing. And the great thing is that we can all be courageous and if you're willing to face your fears, if you're willing to be embarrassed and willing to fail in a big way. Then if you're willing to face any feeling, now you've got power. But we lose our power because we come to the edge of this comfort level and then most people will shrink away and like, no, I
can't deal with this. And so understanding the willingness to have those feelings and to face any feeling is a good question. Am I willing to face any feeling? Along with am I willing to face my fears? Am I willing to fail? And am I willing to be really uncomfortable? And even if that feeling doesn't go away? Am I willing to stay with it? These are really empowering things that can expand what you believe is possible and change
your life. We can't be courageous and less we're scared, right, Yeah, that's that's brilliant, cragl. In order to gain wisdom, we need to go through problems, and in order to be to gain physical strength, we need to break down the muscles. We need to suffer. And in order to have courage, we have to have things that create the need for it. And so most people and most of my life has been backing away from those things. But I don't want
to live that way anymore. I want to live a meaningful, fulfilling life, and in order to do that, I have to have courage. Yeah, I love it.
So appreciate your story and your humility and your self awareness and your transparency.
So two questions. Then we're going to talk tell people how to access your books. So my last two questions, what's one question?
Two part is something that you're great at, something that you are comfortable to say that you're really good at, and something that you definitely need to be better at.
It's really interesting, Craig, because I don't think about myself as as I try not to think about myself, and I don't think of myself as great at anything, right, I try. I try to keep myself out of the picture because then I can be fearless when I start thinking about myself. And when fear comes in, oh, I
might make a mistake. I might this might happen, or that might happen, and I might look foolish, and and you know these things that lead to fears, this self, uh self and this center thoughts, and so you know, I don't I don't really know if I'm great at anything, but I know that I've I've had a lot to learn and that, uh, you know, self centeredness is likely the biggest challenge that I face every day.
All Right, I'll answer the question fully. You're a brilliant communitka, You're a brilliant storyteller. You're brilliant at making complicated stuff understandable.
For the rest of us.
That's a gift, dude, Like you're great at that. And being able to explain what can be really confronting, challenging, uncomfortable kind of issues and concepts and constructs in a way that's.
Very user friendly is great. Is great. That's why you know.
I mean, I'm sure there's a bunch of reasons, but for me, that's part of the reason that you're.
Doing so great and thank you so much.
Not that it matters from me, but I'm super happy for you. Such a good human and you're doing good things. So the book, I'm going to get it right this time. Everyone in an excellence train your mind for extraordinary performance and the best life possible.
Jim Murphy is the author.
I know you don't use the word mate over there, but if I call you mate, that's friendship thing.
Mate.
Tell us about the more recent book that you've re and what's that called?
Yeah? Thanks mate. My book and most recent book is called The Best Possible Life, how to Live with Deep Contentment and joined confidence. No matter what. That came out in November, self published. We're putting out a new edition. I signed a three book deal back in January with his Shed Books, and so the revised edition will come out in for very third Yeah. Great.
Hey, how can people connect with you? Do you want people to follow on social media or check out your website or what's the details for that?
Yeah, sign up for my newsletter inter Excellence dot com. I share with you principles and ideas that I share with my clients and any news workshops. We've got to retreat coming up when we build houses in Mexico and do inter Excellence retreats together with a great group called Youth with a Mission. And I'm on social media as well. Facebook, We've got a Facebook group and we'll be on Substack soon. Instagram is inter Excellence Jim Murphy. So yeah, thanks so much, Craig.
I really appreciate you having me. We appreciate you. Breath of fresh air.
I will say goodbye affair, but for the moment, thanks so much for being on the new project.
Yeah, thank you, Craig