I'll get a team.
Welcome to another installment of the show, well, in fact the shows. It is, of course The Self Help Antidote with Robert Capuccio, and it is The You Project with Fatty Harps, Jumbo Me.
It's us, Hi, buddy.
What's going on? Hops? If you're Fatty Hops? I feel really bad about myself. We're off to a horrible start.
Fatty Harps is literally gone. But well no, yeah, but just that version of me lives on. I still feel strongly connected to Jumbo. I should probably let it go, but I kind of like him. I have fun memories of him.
There was a lot of yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It wasn't all. It was more bittersweet than bitter. So anyway, how are you.
You're in New York. Are you seeing your mum or something? What's going on?
Ah? Yeah, she needs she needs a little bit of help. So the missus are also known as Amy and the Cat is out here. So I'm actually out here visiting them. They're going to be out here on a little bit of more of a long term basis than me. So I'm back in Brooklyn, back in colle Island.
What is it like for you being back there?
Because you kind of grew up there, right and speaking a bittersweet which we were one minute ago, would is it bittersweet for you to go back to the place where there were lots of peaks and troughs to put it mildly, I.
Just recently discussed this with my therapist. Actually, So yeah, the the apartment is kind of weird because a lot of really bad shit, just to put it, simply, went down in this place, like in this room I'm sitting in. It was not filled with good memories, and a lot of the memories were absolutely terrifying. But now it's kind of mixed in with this dysfunctional family unit that we have that kind of feels all right. You know, I've got my wife, the cat, you know, mom, and it's
a very different dynamic. And I think it's you know, she has been seeking redemption, which I personally believe. By me saying I believe it doesn't mean I believe this is right for everybody. I believe people who sincerely seek redemption should have a chance of getting it.
Without without people, sorry, without opening that door to wide and going into specifics. So has your mom acknowledged stuff to you and said, you know, or is it just don't talk about it, but let's just do better.
Now she acknowledged it, and this is kind of a it's got a weird answer. She's acknowledged it as much as she is mentally capable of acknowledging it, as you well know. And I don't know how many listeners know, but now they know she has a lot of or a few developmental problems, which also comes with, on my end, a bit of grace, you know, like we sometimes do the best we can with the resources we have, and
she didn't have a lot of external internal resources. So as much as she can acknowledge what happened, she has, and that's all I'm really prepared to ask from her, you know, because there was a time where that that kind of didn't sit well with me, and it's like, what does that? What does that do for anybody in their lives? Emotionally? What am I going to do, like punish her repeatedly? That's not That's not the person I want to be, And I don't think that's very healthy
for me as an individual either. It's much better to hit the reset button and move forward with whatever type of family we have right now, Whilst there's still time to do that.
In my mind.
Now coming back to the neighborhood is different because this neighborhood could be a bit scary growing up in Coney Island back in the nineteen in these eighties, like if you've ever seen the movie The Warriors, Now, it wasn't exactly like that. Gangs in New York didn't have their own special uniforms, but it was a really rough place to be. And now it's kind of cool. I kind
of like the vibe in Cornee Island. It's like, yeah, it's like it's not a bad place to be from Like they've opened up the Freak Bar, which is kind of a bar where they opened up like the Freak Show. I don't know what's up there. When they said we have a freak show here, I thought they were referring
to me as one of their patrons. But they used to have kind of like in the early nineteen hundred it's Coney Island was the pre eminent like resort and attraction place on the East Coast in the US, and they would have all these like weird shows and everything. So all these attractions, I think they're they're opening up that element which is kind of eccentric. It's kind of different,
but it is. It is kind of cool, you know, the other day, just hanging out and you know, they had a local local cat belongs to the pub, came sat down next to me, hung out with me the whole time. So me and my two my wife and my ex girlfriend actually, so it was kind of an interesting afternoon.
You make a good point. That is very interesting.
I think you had a fascinating, albeit painful childhood. But but like when you deal with or when you're now, you're an adult, and you're an educated, smart, you know, somewhat fully operational, functional adult. I say somewhat for both of us. And the trauma is real, and the experiences that you went through were real, and some people would go, oh, you have a reason to be angry or resentful or and probably so, but there's no I think it's not like there's a set three step protocol that's going to
work for everyone. And you know, so, like you say, for me, personally, I'm doing this, and I think I would, I would try to be. I mean, I was very privileged. I had a recentably great childhood compared to yours. But I think if I'd been through the trauma that you'd been through, and I would hope that I would be like you in that I'd say, well, I can't change any of that or undo any of that, so you know, let's not keep putting kerosene on that flame. Let's like move ahead mentally and emotionally.
One of the things I really wish I had done, and it's one of those one of those things that you hear, but I never had an interest in doing it. I wish I kept a personal journal throughout my life, because one I I was never at this point, you know, ten years ago, especially twenty years ago, which seems like yesterday, so it took me a long time to get here.
And what I suspect would happen if I would look through my journal, or anybody who kept a journal over the span of multiple decades would see it would almost be as if that journal was written by different people.
Yeah, and kind.
Of like a bibliography of all these people's experiences, because you're not the same person. And how I looked at the world and used or tried to use my experiences both good and bad, mostly bad, to shape my reality and shape my sense of identity. It shifted over the years. So in my twenties, what I would say in this conversation was markedly different than what I would say in my thirties and forties, and now my fifties. I kind of, in some ways of come full circle. The ways have
a very unique perspective. But I was like three or four different people through the span of my adult life. So when you're talking about, you know, your childhood or or any base in your life, what I'm curious about, great, is there something that you used to believe, like fevoritely believe that served you that you no longer believe to be true.
Mm hmm, there's I used to think that I used to truly believe that I wasn't good enough.
Obviously I didn't.
I didn't choose that as a belief to empower me or to you know, but I didn't. I I always felt somewhat unworthy, inadequate, and I, you know, I feel like this is a version of everyone. So this is no groundbreaking kind of revelation.
So I think the.
Self limiting and flawed belief that I had was that if I could only do enough stuff, achieve enough stuff, get enough stuff, look a certain way then I would be lovable and people would love me, and I'd be accepted and I'd belong. And this is weird because it's not like I had your childhood right, but this was truly people were pretty good to me. I just had this overwhelming you know, there was times when you know, being the fattest kid and all of that, didn't have great social moments.
But I think the belief that I had was that if.
I can do enough stuff in my external world, if I can own this or drive that, or look like that or have this girlfriend who's that gorgeous, And I know this is all very superficial and shallow, but I'm just being vulnerable and honest, that I would be the insecurity would go, the self doubt would go, I'd be confident, and obviously all of those things you know, not true, and so essentially trying to fix internal stuff with external stuff, you know, if I can, if I can, and very
worried about or not worried, but maybe very aware about. Ironic that I'm doing a PhD in metaperception, which is understanding how others understand you, but I was quite worried about what people thought of me, how I was perceived and whether or not I was this enough or that enough.
And I always thought that or I guess I just had a subconscious belief that I could work my way into that status, you know where if I did enough stuff and got enough stuff and you know, then that would that would be the outcome is in a peace
and fulfillment and joy and all of that. And obviously that's you know, they're separate things and they may or may not live in the same person, but yeah, it's and just being able to, like I think, as you get older, you know, question the stories that you have about you know, like, well that's an interesting story Craig that if you do that then people will like him more. Great story, bullshit, but great story. You know, Like where
do these stories come from? And I have a little funny anecdote and that is the other day I put up a picture of my godson, Mitchell, and he's just become a lawyer, and there was a photo of him outside the Supreme Court in Melbourne, which is a big deal. And I put up this photo and I said, essentially this is on Instagram. I don't have any kids, but I do have a godson, so I don't have kids to boast about, but I want to boast about my godson.
Here he is, This is Mitchell, you know, blah blah blah, and it's just this and he's tall and he's young, and he's good looking and he's a really good human and.
I think you've got a panther in front of your camera.
And anyway, what was funny was so I essentially put up a photo of a kid or a young man that most people don't know, and it got nearly two hundred thousand views that photo, and I'm thinking, what is amazing is like what still gets attention is young, gorgeous people like and we say things like, which is true?
That's so rid?
Yeah, it's like that.
I think it's I don't know, it's something like one hundred and eighty five or ninety thousand views at the moment. But all I did was put up a picture of a young man that nobody knows, and it went nuts. And I was thinking about that, and like a bunch of people save that photo, like hundreds of people save the photo.
And I'm thinking, we still live in a.
World, for better or worse, where if you're attractive, you're going to get lots of attention, and I think that that teaches young people potentially a message that's not great for a range of reasons, but nonetheless it is still true. You know, I put up a photo of me, it's like there's no it's like three people look at it, you know. So, yeah, it's interesting all that external stuff, internal stuff.
Well, it makes sense because when you're sharing all of this. There's three things that stood out in my mind, and one you talked about hiding grow up, you know, with the same experiences you grew up with. And you know, I don't necessarily think somebody needs extreme trauma in order to leverage that and do something with it. I think we all have the same basic human needs. Where you talk about I felt this feeling to a degree of inadequacy.
I think we all have those same insecurities, those same needs, and a lot of the things that we desire have a lot of interconnection. But it's important and it's relevant to share those stories regardless of the background, because what the differentiator is and what we learned from is how do you interpret that? Like what does that mean? Right?
So in your case, it's like, Okay, if I go out and I achieve stuff and by achieving stuff, I can surround myself with external embulance that maybe I interpret is what separates me from other people, which I can relate to. Because you talked about physical attractiveness, I was not physically attractive. That my face was contorted, you know, my teeth, my gums, I was physically deformed growing up.
So for me, beauty and external things is what I perceived as the things that made other people valuable to one another. So I completely get that. So you might think I need to get to work and go build something. Somebody else might interpret that as I'll never be good enough. So what's the use of even trying to do anything. I'll just get by same same feeling, different interpretation, completely
different outcome, and how it shapes your reality. And the third thing that is interesting is you were talking about your godson and how it made you feel forget like how everybody else interprets it, or Wow, this person's really attractive. It catches my attention. There's meaning for you there. So I think when you look at the best times in your life, either in the past or you create this future vision of what would what would good look like in the future, what would engage you look like. What
would success look like. I would like to propose that for the vast majority of people, not everybody, but for the vast majority of us, it involves others. Something that you build, who you building it with? Who are you building it for? So I think in your background, whether it was really difficult circumstances or it was circumstances that kind of gave framework for the things that we all
struggle with in the human experience. Good question is how can I use this to deepen my connection with those around me? Because I think that's what really matters at the end of the day. I think that's you know, like Matthew Lieberman, I just wrote something about this. He would propose that our brains are neurobiologically wired for one another. And he's far from alone in that. Me growing up, I was talking about this with my wife the other day. Nobody liked me as a kid, even as a very
young kid, like five years old. We used to do this thing. We were walking. How the conversation started. We were walking by a park. It's like, oh, okay, Seabury's Park, you know, like when we were all like five six They used to put this in like the dance festival, you know, like when you do those things and the parents come out in the middle of the summer, they're clapping and they're like, oh fucking hell, it's so hot
in humid when's this thing going to be over? And none of the kids wanted to dance near me or hold my hand because I looked different than everybody else.
Nobody looked like me growing up. And I think how that shaped me and connected me to people, amongst many other painful but formative experiences, was you know, I had a disdain for people who are ostracized, the mission treated because they don't look like somebody else or how somebody thinks that person should look, because I know how much that hurts and how many presuppositions and how much cruelty
is built into something like that. Because I didn't fit in with anyone, because it was absolutely no when I looked like I was like, Am I glad that I was going through my childhood, my teenage years physically deformed? No? If I can go back in time, but I do it again, Probably not. Am I grateful in retrospect that it happened? Yeah, because it opened me up to seeing people in a way that I might not have been able to say, so, you know, it's that feeling that
we experience. But then there's that's interpretation and who does that make you? What identity emerges out of that story, out of that interpretation.
Yeah, I love that.
Just backpeddling a little bit, that idea of the importance of social connection and you know, like that, like we want to belong, right, we want to be part of something that's not just us, something bigger than us, where we feel.
Valued and needed and seen and validated.
And it's funny because I think I think, I don't know, I was going to say for you, and I definitely for me. I think maybe for you, But I think part of that is my work where even now where although not in real time or in real time, we're connecting, but you and I are connecting with thousands of people
who are going to listen to this. And for me, apart from the responsibility of hopefully sharing some information and ideas that might be of value to people and potentially create some kind of positive outcome for them, just the idea of being in the middle a big conversation. You know, I enjoy that.
I enjoy.
Like I sat down with a guy this morning, called Scotty Douglas, who's a paramedic who's been on the show recently, who's just right now one of my favorite people. Is just a beautiful human being. And he's like he said, he said to me, I really want to thank you for, you know, letting me spend time with you.
And I'm like, shut the fuck up.
It's like, I'm not letting you spend time like we're hanging out. I like you, I said, I'm I'm not sitting with you to do you a favor. I like you.
I want to spend time with you. I get I don't know what you get, but I get plenty, you know. And it's just being with people where there.
Is that that love and that connection and that lack of agenda or strategy, like we're not here for a strategic reason, you know, we're just connected.
And I think that's you know, I think no matter.
What you do or what you grow, or what you what you earn or own or have like an existence without that deep connection with other humans.
Life's tough. Life's tough.
And I mean, you know, we've spoken, You and I have spoken about the impact of socialization or lack thereof, on physical health, longevity, health span. You know, it's like humans actually to be healthy, and not just emotionally and mentally healthy, but physically healthy, we need we need love, we need connection, we need belonging. You know, it's it's such a huge component of who we're meant to be.
It's one of the things that concerns me where disagreement turns into disdain. And I mean you could you could maybe say that tribalism, people feel disconnected, feel marginalized, and then they find consensus within a group that adds to a sense of belonging. Maybe not in a constructive way, but as a society, I feel like we're getting a
bit too fragmented in quite scary ways. Because you're right, I couldn't agree with you more of this, and there's not a lack of research to show it's not just our mental health, it's it's our sense of physical well being that's at stake when we live in in in fragmented relationships. I mean, if you do a root cause analysis of anything anybody wants, well, you know I want to really start a business. Well why is that important
to you? Oh? So you know one day, you know, when I operationalize it you know, and scalable, I can have freedom. Okay, well why is that important to you? Al go different places? But why why? Why why? When you get to the end of that, again, not for everybody,
but for the vast majority of us, it's relationships. It's so there's an intersection between you and me, and I love that relational convergence point where means in the ends meet and they're inseparable and indiscernible from one another, because that's where I believe happiness lies. And longest running A longitudinal study in history out of Harvard started in nineteen thirty eight, shows that as well, regardless of the socioeconomic background.
Now again these were like white men. It was nineteen thirty eight, so this study does have its flaws, but across the board, it was not even the number, but the quality of relationships that contributed most to happiness, and happiness is a major contributor to well being. I mean, can you say you're living in a state of well being and being miserable? Probably not.
So.
I think about the most memorable and meaningful things that I've done in my life was always with other people. Like I've individually achieved some good things, but I look back at like, right, you've written books.
I've written books.
I go, yeah, that's not even in the top fifty. It's like good or this podcast. I love the fact that we've got this, But it's not so much just having the podcast.
For me, which is good, but it's more about that.
The podcast is a conduit to what we're doing now, which is connecting and understanding and loving and serving and like the.
Or when I like, the most meaningful moment.
In my life in the last year, and the last year's been, there's been some nice milestones and boxes ticked and some things that you could go, wow, that was the most meaningful, memorable, powerful and simultaneously painful and beautiful was me sitting with a lady that I call my second mum when she was in her last hours of life, you know, and being with her for just her and eye in a room for an hour. And I would not swap that time or that memory or that moment or that connection.
Like it's.
It's like, I'm the bloody wordsmith. I can't adequately describe what happened. I can't adequately describe what it means to me right, and I'm being clumsy right now, But it's like, oh yeah, and I couldn't. I still can't really explain it. But I'm like in that moment, I was I was sitting there thinking.
This is it? Like this is for me what it's about?
So sorry about that.
That's all right. We had a little moment there everyone.
Bobby had a cat astrophe that he needed to attend to.
Make. Cat's highest priority is people as well, and he was cut off from the rest of the people in the house.
So anyway, anyway, that was that moment in time. But it's like, yeah, it's like you look back at what is significant, and you and I both had some good I would say achievements, but none of that really when I when I lie in bed and I think about what matters and what's meaningful, you know, it's it ain't that. It ain't you know, doing a gig talking of four thousand people at an event, which was very cool, but it's not It's nothing compared to like I would I wouldn't trade that hour.
With my second mum for anything, you know, and.
A thing for most of us, that story is in one way share perform the same Like imagine yourself sitting in a rocket chair looking at the window. You're well into your eighties, you're reflecting on your life. What's been most precious to you, what do you value most like, what is really present as you're in the final stages of your life and you're reflecting on what did this all mean to me? It's going to involve other people.
I think it's going to be just the simple pleasures and it's going to be that connection, those relationships, things that you shared with others, and I think you know that takes things that we struggle with. I don't want to minimize it because, like we said in the last episode, there are so many variables that go into things like burnout.
But when all things being absolutely equal, when it comes to resilience, when it comes to stress management, when it comes to joy, when it comes to the frustration of the fact that there are so many variables that impact outcomes and you could do all the work and do everything right, and you know this, and you know, maybe many of our listeners know this. When you have your own business, it's like there are things that you can't even predict, and yeah, it's it's all going to go
wrong at the worst possible time. Murphy's well, Murphy is an asshole, by the way, But moving on to Murphy, when it's becomes about people, there's a lot of pleasure in what am I contributing, what's the effort I'm putting in. How does that connect me to others? How do I share things with others? And I think that kind of inoculates you, because it's worth doing for its own sake, independent of the outcome.
Like I think, you know, like I've always been like a car dude and a motorbike dude, and not in a way where I want to show off force. I don't care if people know what I have or don't have, and I don't have a fence you can these days at all. But but I you know, from when I was eighteen to when I was I don't know, fifty, I had so many cars, so many bikes, and I loved all of that. And they were all fancy or expensive by any means. But I was always turning over cars and I got a lot of you know.
Temporary joy and dada. Anyway, when I was I don't know.
Probably fifteen years ago now, I bought my mama car and oh my god, I'm like, oh, this is this is where actual joy lives and she had no idea she was getting a new car. And I drove it up to her place.
So it had like.
Two hundred kilomb or one hundred and fifty kilometers on it, and that's only because I had to drive it up to the country and I had this I stopped three hundred meters from her house and cleaned it like it was already, you know, but just so it was perfect. And I had this big sticky bow which was the size of you know, your upper body, like this great big bow which.
I put on the bonnet or the hood of.
The car, and I you know, and just seeing like the impact that that had on my mum, the joy and the happiness and my dad, and I'm like, oh, who knew like all this other stuff where there's a little bit of temporary me joy, but actually getting a car for someone else, and it was a cheap, little it was a new car, but it was like a little Suzuki Swift.
It wasn't a Lamborghini.
But just I'm like, oh, this is buying stuff for me actually doesn't do it. It does it for like a day and a half, but buying stuff for someone else giving having that foot, Yeah, like I went, I learned a little. I think, you know, you theoretically know things, but then you experientially are in the middle of it and you're like, oh, yeah, that's right, that's right.
This is it. It's interesting because so much of our philosophy and society is and you know, there's there's a lot of necessity around this is to build. You focus on, you focus inward. But then when you take points like this like reflection, yeah, no, it's it's been when it's when I've done the opposite. It's why I focused on things that I valued, in people that I valued, and everything outside of me. That one made me really happy.
And I don't know if people listening to this can relate, but the irony is is when I focused on everything outside of me, I learned the most about who I am and what's really important to me. It's almost like I was created in that interaction with other people.
Yes, yes, And it's like when you focus on giving, not getting, so you you it's in the giving that you get anyway, like you don't even need to think about the because the getting comes through the giving and serving.
It's like, oh, even when and not that you know, I'm not suggesting you do that strategically, but I know that me trying to make or me potentially making someone happy or feel good or giving them a moment of joy or whatever gives them both pleasure and me a level of pleasure that I couldn't achieve on my own anyway, because whatever I do, you know, whatever I get or you know, it's like, you know, even if I look at something completely fucking superficial, like my Instagram numbers, and
I go oh, oh oh, and then for about seven minutes, I feel good, and then I'm like, yeah, but I want.
More, you know what I mean. I want more people. I want higher numbers. I don't want X, I want three X. And I get three X.
I'm like, oh, thank goodness, now I'm here, but five X would be good. You know, it's like fairy flaws, emotional fairy flaws.
It just melts.
Something happened to my wife and I the other day, and it's one of those things that it's seemingly inconsequential where you might not even notice it, but for me, it was a major deal. So it really Doctor Martin Seligman's book Flourish, he talks about one of the simplest things you can do to dramatically change your sense of well being in a very short period of time is random senseless acts of kindness. Is be kind to other people because of the psychological and the biochemical impact it
has on you. And it's just the effects of it, like you pointed out, are immediate. So we went to this place, what's it called Brighton Beach right over here. It's called like, I don't know, Joe's postal or anything. It's just a post place to ship packages. And there this guy who was working behind the counter, and it was one of these things that I think they only took cash for for some weird reason, if I'm remembering
this right. But that's not the point of this. So we didn't have any cash, and the guy looks a us. He's like, you know what, don't even worry about it now, he's never seen us before. It's not like we're consistent customers. First time we ever rocked up. He said, just I'm going to do this for you, and you know, if you ever get a chance to come back in here, you'll pay me then, and thought, wow, that's unusually nice.
So we went back today to make sure one we use this person for packages now, like why wouldn't we? And we paid him the money back. The guy strikes up a conversation with us and he's just so lovely and he's sharing these experiences and we walked out of there and our day was better. And I was thinking and discussing this from my wife. A lot of times you talk about kindness, and you talk about people who are living a purpose and making a difference in the world.
You think about, Okay, you know, I've got a soup kitchen and I'm feeding the homeless and things like that are amazing or it's these big gestures, but you know what, it's people like this within your community. Imagine you have a community built with people who are kind, they're invested, and they act on that in very tangible ways. And he created not only trust, not only a new customer, but we came back, we paid him the money, and
that started to create a relationship. If you're surrounded by interactions like this, you would be healthier, you would be happier, and you yourself would probably be kinder. So the things that make a really big difference in the world, I think are these small acts that are reciprocated and compounded over time, that could shave people's reality profoundly beautiful ways.
Because I think that's why a lot of people don't step out and and do more, because they think that's what's required of them is so big they don't know where to start. It's just those little opportunities to be human.
I love that story, dude. I love that, and I love the fact that he did that for you, so that literally would have cost him financially. There was no way of knowing that he'd ever.
See you again.
And you know that's real, Like, that's not a marketing strategy. You know that's not because you know a lot of people would never show up again and go, Wow, how dumb is that guy?
Fantastic? You know, hopefully not most of our listeners, hopefully not me. I'm pretty sure i'd go back as well.
But I hope his boss is not listening to this and it isn't getting any trouble.
I think he must would know him right, And I think, like you, that is that is it is. So I's going to say it's difficult the right word, but it feels like I could be wrong. Uncommon that people do stuff for people truly with no agenda and no expectation at all of anything back. It's like, I am just doing this to make your day better or make you better, or to help you see you later.
And you will get cheated. But I think I think the positive outcome of that, even if it's not your intention, is going to be far greater. One more story from like decades ago, because I think it's we hear stories
like this and it's beautiful. So I use one of the gyms that I used to manage the fitness department in was out in Jersey, North Jersey, and when I was going back home to New York a couple of times a week, when I would pop out to that particular location, we had if as you're getting on the motorway, there's a petrol station just there. Couldn't be more convenient. You just pop off and you hop back on and back. In Jersey, you know, I think they still do this.
It's the lorrd. You can't get out and pump your own petrol, so somebody has to do it for you, so you didn't even get out of a car and you're just in and out. I would sacrifice all of that convenience and I would go to a petrol station that was miles away. And here's the reason why I
would do that. Because I was passing through the neighborhood and I had to stop off there one day, and there was this guy, Michael, and McHale would as you're sitting there in the car and you're filling up, he would clean your windows, he would strike up a conversation with you. He would just I mean, he would check your fluids in the car. Now, none of that was part of his job, by the way, nobody was required to do that, but he would take it upon himself
that whole thing. So I would sacrifice all that time inconvenience just to be able to visit that petrol station and be able to give a tip to Michael. So one day like I can't, I can't take this anymore. Like I'm coming in. I know this guy. You know I've been here like over half a dozen times at least. I was like, Michael, I can I have a business card? Like I asked him, I said, you know, are you? Are you the owner? That was the first thing I popped into my head. I said, no, no, I'm not.
You know, I work here. My boss is not here. I said, can I can I get his phone number because I really want to talk to him. He's like, oh, this is everything, Okay, everything's great. I just really need to talk to this guy. So I went home and I called like twice. Second time I got him on the phone, I said, you know, I need to talk to you, like you've got this guy McHale there. He's like, stop stop right there, stop right there. I know what you're gonna say. I hear it nearly every day. He
knew that that was not a complaint. He was like, guy is amazing. I was like, where did you find him? I was like, if I was hiring for any position, I don't care what his skill sets are, I'd hire him. We'll figure that shit out later. And he's like he's like yeah, he's like I pay that guy like three times more than anybody else.
Wow.
And some people might be cynical around stories like this. I love them. And he's like he makes a pretty decent amount of money and tips. So next time I passed by and I asked Michael, like, you know, like what are your plans? Like where do you see yourself? And he's like, well, when I first came here, I just wanted to do the best job I could, you know, I wanted to give people the best experience. He's like, but now I'm saving some money. I'd like to own
my own place one day. So that act of kindness led his boss to notice him and other people, and somebody probably said something to him and sparked an idea where a dream emerged that probably into been cultivated otherwise. It's like, and I understand this, it's very easy to default to, well, they don't pay me enough to you know, fill in the blanks there. But how much easier was Mikhail's job than anybody else that worked in that petrol station? Much?
And imagine and imagine how many great interactions he had per day, And imagine how many people loved him and did a version of what you did just to you know, driving past three other gas stations just to get to him and going out of there.
Yeah, like it.
It makes sense on so many levels.
I love that hot job standing out there. You know, like with him, he probably went home energized, tired, but energized, rather than going home tired and emotionally defeated, because man, this job is brutal.
It's all about perspective. And context.
Dude.
Hey, always loved talking to you, mate. You and I have got stuff on, so we've we've got a jam. Tell my listeners where to connect with you if you would.
Yeah, self Helpantido dot com, Robert Capuccio dot com, LinkedIn. Just yeah, I'll see you there, all.
Right, buddy, You have a good night and enjoy New York City. Trying to try not to let that cat dominate your life. Say hello to the beautiful Amy, Give your mama, Give your mama caddle from the Widow in Melbourne and Melbourne and we'll talk next week.
Thanks Greg. Good eh,