#1853 Progress Over Perfection - Harps

I'm going to get a bit of vitamin D carefully on my body because I've had a million things cut off. It's I might say hello to a few people. I might pick some caffeine up on the journey. Then I might come home and sit in a bloody front yard like the King of the world. But before I do all of that, I want to talk to you about perfection. I want to talk to you about the idea of

progress over perfection. Now I don't think I've really ever been personally a perfectionist, but I've always been very interested in being a better version of me, a more high performing, a more educated, a fitter, or stronger blah blah blah, all that stuff. Like many of you, I've always been fascinated with performance and productivity and effectiveness and potential and

doing the work and creating outcomes. And as I said recently, you know, like I think that we don't want to be the person who's getting up every day, jumping out of bed and just all day every day is all about how do I be better? Think better, do better? Because we've got to we've got to live. We've got to have life. We've got to have We're going to have peaks and troughs. We need to laugh, we need

to have some downtime. We need to have some fuck all days, as I call them, where we do fuck all, we achieve fuck all, we're not particularly effective or productive or proactive. We're not killing it, we're not crushing it, we're not ticking boxes. We also need time where we're

just having fun and being human. But in the space that I work, where I've worked with lots of people who are what you would call high performers, with athletes, with entertainers, with people in politics, with people in business, with people in you know, the general community who really want to be the best version of themselves, there can

tend to be, I guess perfectionistic behavior and thinking. And while I think aiming for better or improvement or growth or learning or development or evolution is great, I think that aiming for perfection, which many people seem to and being even I reckon I've made a mistake in that I talk about okay, so I'm throwing me under the bus here. I think I talk too much sometimes about being the best version of me, or you being the best version of you. And I guess what I really

should say, what is a better strategy? Is better? Better? Let's be a better version and maybe one day I'll end up somewhere close to the best version of me. I don't know, And I mean, how do we know? How do I know what the absolute best version of me is? Psychologically, emotionally, mentally, physiologically, creatively, professionally, personally, How do I know? How do I know? And I guess I don't know. But I think we need to get our head around the idea that chasing perfection and absolute

optimal is sometimes a problem, not a solution. In fact, I think chasing perfect is a shit strategy, and not because the idea of excellence is bad, but because perfection is really real It's not sustainable day to day in any practical, real world, human kind of doing life. I've never met anyone who's perfect. I've never met anyone who's really perfected anything. Maybe I've met people who have been close to perfecting certain things, or maybe I have met them.

But you know, I think, if if we can be really really practical about where we are with whatever component of our life it is that you know, whether or not we're talking about our work or our finances, or our physical, mental, or emotional health, or our productivity or efficiency, or our career, and we can figure out where we are and where we want to be, and we can move the needle. We can move in that direction, and then we can see growth, we can see development, we

can see advancement. Then we're moving in the right direction, and we're not creating a mindset that makes it impossible to win. Because if perfection is the only outcome that will make you happy or feel fulfilled or like you've

been successful, it perfection's the only option. If that's the only goal, then we're going to spend our life being miserable, not because we're not learning or growing or getting better, but because we've created a psychological and or emotional prison that we live in, and we can only get out of that prison when we reach nirvana, when we reach perfection, when we're at our absolute human optimal level, whatever the

fuck that is. So I think we've been conditioned to romanticized perfection, you know, optimal performance, the best version of you, as I said before, maybe the better version of you, or the way better version of you, or even the fucking slightly not so shit version of you that you have been. Hey, guess what, I'm slightly less shit. Well done, ro That's amazing, And now I'm even less shit as long as we're getting better, you know, like one hundred

percent be all you can be. It sounds sexy, it sounds inspirational, and on a poster, I guess it kind of looks amazing. But in practice, this mindset of perfection is the only goal. It sets people up for failure and disappointment and burnout and frustration and feeling like they're never good enough even when they are improving, even when they are making progress, even when good things are happening. And have you noticed the old moving goalpost syndrome two?

Is that like even when we say I want to achieve X. How many people have you known? Or maybe you're the person when they achieve X. Whatever X represents they achieve X. It could be an income, It could be a kind of result in business or life or relationship. Or it could be a number that could be a time they run. It could be a body composition, percentage that they reach. It could be any kind of anything, doesn't matter. But they get there, they achieve it, and

the amount of people go, Wow, I've done that. I'm good. Now, I'm good, I'm content, I'm happy. And for a range of reasons that we won't go into, we know that virtually every person who got where they wanted to go with a goal then within a short period of time is not content anymore. Now they tell themselves a story that one X isn't enough. What I need is one and a half X, what I need is two x three X, And of course when they get to three X,

the same thing happens. And so we have this weird relationship. We have this you know, moving goalpost kind of mentality that whatever I have, it isn't enough. Whatever I did, it's not enough. Wherever I am, it's not where I want to be, whatever I earn it's not enough. However, good I look now for me who's worked with thousands of people, I'm going to be honest, Like a lot of people, Yeah, we want to be healthy and fit and functional, of course, but of course a lot of

people want to look a certain way. Now, I'm not saying that's good, bad, or and different, but I'm telling you what I've experienced, and many, many, many many people are, for a period of time anyway, more concerned with how they look than they are their health. I'm not saying it should be this way. I'm saying it is this way.

I've also never met anyone who has changed the way they look and got to go from what they didn't want to look like and eventually ended up looking the way that they wanted to or weighing the weight or having the body composition or having the muscle or having the shape or the size or the whatever the fuck they wanted and went wow, boom, I'm here. That's it. I'm just going to cruise now. I'm going to maintain

this is me. I am happy, I'm fulfilled, I'm content, my body looks great, and emotionally and psychologically i'm set, set, and up, it doesn't happen, right, And that's again that's another podcast. But you know, I think part of that. I'll digress for a moment because I think this might resonate with some of you. Part of that is because

I think anyway, and I did this. So I'm speaking as an exis scientist and a research and I'm also speaking as a person who had body maybe still has body dysmorphea, who was never happy with how they looked or their way to their fucking muscles or whatever, right, And I was always trying to get some kind of internal shift through my body, like I was always trying to, I guess, resolve some kind of psychological, emotional, or sociological or spiritual internal issue with bigger arms and what a

great plan that was, or bigger shoulders or less body fat or a smaller waist or and all of that. For me, I'll only talk for me because then no one else can get offended. But for me, all of that came out of fear and anxiety and self loathing and self doubt and insecurity and the need for approval.

And I just wanted people to notice and like and love and if I looked a certain way, then I would get all of this shit that would make me happy, and then I ended up looking the way that I wanted, And of course the other stuff wasn't there because the problem was never really my body in the first place, and my internal issues were never going to be resolved or solved or changed or fixed with fucking big deltoids, Right, So I just think that understanding I'm digressing a little

bit in this perfection conversation, but also understanding that the internal stuff that we have, the internal drivers, aren't always resolved, or the internal needs or emotional and or psychological chasms holes are not always resolved by doing something in the real three dimensional world, by getting more, doing more, having more. It doesn't necessarily fix anything. It doesn't necessarily fix anything.

And you know, even when you think about perfection, not only is that a dumb goal, but it's also it's a mindset, it's a way of thinking. And some people have said to me, but don't you think it's better to aim for perfection because you know you're setting the bar really high, and because you're setting it so high, you'll it'll even if you don't get there, you'll be way ahead of where you are currently and it might make you achieve a better outcome than if you just

set the bar for say, improvement. And I understand that, but here's what I'll say to that. Now, While let's say perfection is a ten and you're aiming for a ten, your goal is a ten. You want a ten. That's the focus, that's the intention, that's the plan. The problem with that is anything less than a ten will result

in disappointment and frustration. Whereas if I'm a five and I'm aiming for a six or a seven or an eight, and I get a six or a seven or an eight, I don't experience the same self induced disappointment and frustration because I'm not all about perfection. I'm all about learning, growing, evolving and getting better. And the idea of perfection it

doesn't really motivate people. It paralyzes them because when the goal is flawlessness, the second you slip, the second you have a shitty day or you don't nail the outcome, you feel like a failure. You feel like all the effort, the growth, the steps forward, they don't really matter. In fact, you don't notice them. You don't notice the growth or the progress or the steps forward. Or the moving of the metaphoric needle. You don't notice it because you're only

concerned with being the ten, with getting the ten. And not only is that not a helpful mindset, it's a fucking self destructive, toxic recipe for disaster, for internal chaos.

But if we take that mindset of perfectionism and ten out of tenness, and we compare that to a mindset built on growth, on improvement, on better, not best, better, not flawless, just improved, better habits, better conversations, better self talk, better choice is better thinking not every day, not all day, not all the time, but most of the time over time. Like better, we can do better. Better is achievable. Perfection is not achievable. Better is empowering, Better builds momentum. Better

works practically, but perfect doesn't. And when you focus on better, not perfect, you actually enjoy the process more. You notice the winds, you track your progress. You're not constantly comparing yourself to some fantasy version of you or who you think you should be. You're just doing the work like I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm evolving, I've made progress today. The other day I cleaned. This sounds cliche, but I

literally cleaned the old spare room. And it's funny, I made all of this in one very tiny, diminutive component of my existence, my practical reality. And I looked at that room at the end of the day. I wasn't in there all day, but I was in and out all day, in between other things. At the end of

the day, I just felt fucking great. You know when you I don't know about you, but like when it's like when I go into my kitchen and there's dirty dishes, which is really not very often, but versus there's no dishes, the kitchen is clean. I feel great. Now this is just me, but you know what's going to work for you. I know for me, if I start the day with a bit of a to do list, some intentions of what I'm going to do, and at the end of the day I've done that, I feel like a fucking winner.

I don't need to have changed the world or cured cancer or you know, flowing the fucking space shuttle. I just need to go. I set out to do these things. I've done these things. That's good. I'm going all right. I'm not perfect, but I'm going all right. I'm improving, I'm getting better. You know, we're just doing the work.

We're just learning, we're just adjusting and growing. And it's in the middle of all of that, just doing the stuff each day is where the actual, sustainable, measurable progress happens. Perfection tells you you're not there yet. Keep suffering. Improvement tells you you're already on the way. You're doing great learning, you're ticking boxes, you're doing all rights. You've got a reason to smile, keep growing and evolving and keep going.

I've literally worked with thousands of people in this space, from high performers to you know, like I said before, educators, athletes, everyday battlers trying to create change. And I can tell you that the ones who make lasting progress are never the ones who obsessed, who are obsessed with perfection. They might be obsessed with being better or working towards a

version of optimal while keeping their feet on the ground. Moreover, Comma your honor, it's the ones who are consistent, who are curious, who fuck up and get up, who are honest, who are accountable, who can do good shit and dumb shit, and regroup peaks and troughs and keep moving forward. And here's another thing. If you're always aiming for optimal, you might never appreciate what's already working and what's going great.

You could be growing, healing, changing, getting better, but because you're still not perfect, you have this sense of failure, You have this frustration because that perfection mindset steals your joy. It also steals your perspective and your peace and your ability to feel proud of what you're doing and where you are, even if you're not where you want to

be yet. You know, when you look up and you know, I always talk about doing a treasure hunt on your life, and one of my mentors taught me this concept years ago, doing a treasure hunt on my life and to you know, look past the two problems that I have at the one hundred and two blessings that I have, the great things about my life, and when I have that attitude of gratitude, when I really and I know I'm getting a bit deep and philosophical, but fuck it, it's me

and I go, well, you know, I'm sitting in my office right now talking to thousands of people who listen to my stuff. That's pretty cool. I can stand up from the chair that I'm currently sitting and I can walk. A lot of people can't walk. A lot of people don't have the things that I have. I can walk downstairs and turn on a cold tap and fresh, clean, cold water comes out. I can go and have a hot shower. I can press a button right where I'm sitting now and air conditioning will come out into the

room to cool me down. I can walk six hundred meters. I'm at the beach. How fucking amazing is my life? I have nothing to bitch about. Right. All of this is about the window through which we view the world. And when we build a window that is all about everything has to be perfect. If I'm not doing or being or creating or achieving or seeing perfect, then it's not good enough. Well, the problem is not the outcomes. The problem is not what you're doing, being, creating or

not creating. The problem as you're fucking thinking. This perfectionistic mindset literally is a recipe for misery, not for success. So what if we changed the goal or we changed the thinking. What if it wasn't about reaching some imaginary, perfection driven endpoint. What if it was just about building a lifestyle and an operating system. As I always say, in a way of being and doing and thinking and choosing That leans into growth. Forget flawlessness, forget optimal, forget

the best, just beta, less, flawed, more optimal. Perfection is a moving target. It's not a destination. It's a mirage. I want you to think about just a couple of practical things. Right, So all of that's true, But how do we now operationalize that? So how do we now it's my little mini three minute workshop for you. How do we move the needle in the right direction. That's cool, Craig,

I get it. I understand that. But now what so here's maybe for some of you you're now what so if you were to do a quick stock take on the factors and variables that influence and impact and shape your life. So your life situation, your lifestyle, your life outcomes, your results that you're producing, and your life experience. That is how you experience what you so how physiologically, mentally, emotionally, and sociologically you experience that thing life that you're in

the middle of. When you do a stock take on all of those variables and factors that influence, impact, and shape those four things life situation, lifestyle, life outcomes, and life experience, where are you?

For Craig? The best that he could humanly do is attend where am I? Now, we'll go, Well, in terms of general health, I'm a four. Cool, Well let's not. Let's aim for a five. Let's and then let's once we get maybe, let's aim for it. Because I can do a five. I can get a five pretty. I could probably tweak a few things and maybe in a month my health has gone from a four to a five. But I tell you what, it's not going from a

four to a ten. And the problem is when I'm aiming for a ten and in a year I'm still out only a seven. I've been disappointed for a fucking year, and I lose focus and motivation and drive because I'm still nowhere near the perfection that I'm chasing. So if I look at all of the things like sleep and exercise and food and recovery and energy levels and cognitive function and mental health and career and all the things,

all the relationships, money, dough, all of it. You look at all of the things that comprise your practical life. Right Like, for example, if you had let's say you were making heaps of do and you had a great job, but your health was a two out of ten, guess what. Your life is not great. But let's say you had amazing health, amazing diet, you were very fit, but you are going backwards at two hundred dollars a week, you're under huge financial pressure, you've got a shit job that

you hate, blah blah blah, then life's not good. So it's not about one or the other. It's about everything.

It's about trying to create an overall plan based on our physical, mental, emotional, social, financial, practical needs and then getting an idea of where I'm at without overthinking it, without self loathing, without self judgment, just awareness, Like I might say, all right, well, where am I at with my finances, and I might go, well, my finances are a four, and then you go cool, Okay, well what would make that situation a five? What would make it

a six? How do we move forward? I shift the needle? How do I get out of my fullness and into my fiveness? And who knows? Maybe one day you'll be an eight, nine, or god forbid, even a ten. Who knows. But what's a good goal now? Is four to five? That's a good goal. That's a smart goal, that's an achievable goal, that's practical. What's a good goal now? As well? I'm currently my sleep is a two out of ten for these reasons?

need to be a researcher or a scientist. You don't need to be groundbreaking lee brilliant either. I know you are all brilliant, by the way, but you don't need to be to do this shit. You go, Oh, the thing that I'm doing is not working. Oh cool, Well what are you currently doing? I'm doing this all right? Well how about we don't do that, or how about we do more of this other thing or less of that thing that's not working anyway. So the goal for you, guys, the goal for us, I believe is that we try

and get better. Is that we day by day, moment by moment, decision by decision, opportunity by opportunity, whether or not it falls on our app or we create it, we do something, We do something to create momentum, to get the wheels turning to point ourselves in the right direction. So we're getting better, we're progressing, we're learning, we're evolving.

We're not perfect. We're far from perfect. We'll all probably be far from perfect, and in the middle of our imperfection will all be one hundred percent human