#1830 The Shadow Side Of Self-Help - Harps

check and a weather update. All we need to do is go to Brian and the helicopter for a traffic report, and we're fucking radio again. Nonetheless, it's not radio, it's podcast. I have been thinking about this thing I want to talk about for a while, and I wrote something over the last few days. I often, this is my process. I often to have an idea, I'll write. The idea could be a few words, it could be a sentence. And I think there's something in this my creative process

and my cognitive process for anyone who's interested. And it might be like I've been working on this thing. Notice

how my mind goes in seven directions. Once I've been working on this thing, for about a week, and it's I want to do whether or not it's going to be an article, whether or not it's going to be a podcast, or whether or not it's going to be a me and someone else podcast or a solo But I want to talk about the myriad of variables around being overweight, obesity and all of the physiological, psychological, emotional,

sociological stuff around that. Now, of course that this is fraught with danger in twenty twenty five to talk about

such things. So my process is I write down a sentence or two, I write an idea, and then I think about how do I be honest and truthful but also sensitive and aware, and how do I talk as the exercise science guy who's trained thousands of people and got vast, vast experience, but also as the once upon a time fat child, fat teenager, and fat adult and integrate all of that in a way where I can share some thoughts and ideas around a topic. Then that

can be polarizing, but that's my process. And then it might take me a week of jotting down things and revisiting that page or that document on the computer, or writing shit on the whiteboard or taking notes in my phone, I'm off and out for a walk. I'll have an idea.

I put it in my phone or I either write it or record it audio, and it might take a month of fucking around back and forth until that initial idea becomes a living, breathing for one of a better term podcasts, post or conversely, sometimes I'll end up with something that's kind of wordy, and I think this is all as best I can tell, insightful and interesting and as far as I know true, But it's way too

fucking long. People are not going to read all this, or people are not going to listen to all this. So sometimes I go the other way. I start with something big and then I distill it into a twenty or thirty word whiteboard message, which becomes a post on Instagram. By the way, Instagram's going off like a frog and a sock on Planet Jumbo. But anyway, so that is my creative and cognitive kind of writing, thinking, recording process.

It's not very systematic, it's not very slick. It's not something I would recommend, But as I always say, we're trying to figure out what works for you, what works for you optimally, what's your best way and so for me, it seems to be that like if I sometimes if I think, for example, I'm going to write an article or I'm going to write something about it doesn't even matter,

pick a topic. But then I go, I'm going to write that, and I'm going to city for sixty minutes, and I'm going to write it till it's done and it's going to be good, and then I'm going to read it or share it or talk about it. And the truth is that sometimes seven minutes into that process, I'm thinking about breakfast, or I'm distracted with something else, or the phone rings, or and so it doesn't always work out the way that you want. Where I'm going to sit at my computer right now and for I'm

just going to turn on this creativity switch. I'm going to turn it on. The tap is going to flow for two hours. It's going to be brilliant, and then at midday I'll we done and bibbity bobby boo, the world will be graced with my journeus. It doesn't work like that, right, it doesn't work like that. So anyway I've been thinking about up the value or lack thereof, that was a long precursor wasn't it the value or lack of value, the benefit or lack thereof the signs

or the bullshit, the truth or the untruth. Get to it harps of self help, of what we call self help. When I say self help, I'm talking about all the stuff that gets shared, books, posters, memes, social media, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat, whatever that is. No, that's not it is. What's the other one? Bloody TikTok? You know, all of those various mediums and platforms, stuff that comes from a stage, stuff on television, stuff on radio, stuff on YouTube, stuff of course,

on podcasts. And some of that is some of that is potentially transformational, Some of it is pseudoscience. Some of it is based in ideas and thoughts and philosophies that are thousands of years old, like stoicism, and some of

it's kind of almost just pop culture garbage. But anyway, I want to talk about that because I think sometimes something gets said or shared or written, and then people who maybe don't understand the complexity of a certain topic or challenge or idea and the totality of what it takes to address that thing, or change that thing or create that thing, buy into an over simplification of something, and then don't get the results or the outcome that

they thought they would following this simplistic, overly simplistic, often misleading pseudoscience, and then they're devastated. All right, So this is what I've written over the last few days. I want to share it with you. I'll kind of commentate as I go. I've called this the shadow side of self help. Sounds sinister, doesn't it. The self help industry promises transformation, happiness, and success through simple formulas or more accurately,

formulae and positive thinking yep, yep. Beneath the shimmering surface lies a troubling reality. Much of what passes for self help is actually a hodgepodge of feel good platitude, pseudoscience, and oversimplified solutions that can often do more harm than good. Many popular self help teachings rely on the seductive but scientifically dubious law of attraction good oh law of attraction, the idea that positive thoughts magically and mysteriously attract positive outcomes.

This concept ignores the complex reality of systematic barriers, privilege, the randomness of inherent life, and a myriad of other intersecting and complicating and impacting variables, and when someone fails to manifest their desires despite thinking positively, they're often left blaming themselves, feeling shitty self loathing, rather than recognizing the flawed premise on which they're operating. So, in other words, they blame themselves. It's not the principle or the idea

or the magical concept that's the problem. It's me. I'm the problem. I'm not doing it. So this is why I say, sometimes self help, or what masquerades its self help, is actually not only is it not helpful, it's damaging. It's potentially harmful. It's potentially creating problems where there weren't any. The self help industry thrives on creating problems, or some of it does, on creating problems where none exists, and

then selling solutions to those fictitious problems. Normal human emotions like occasional sadness or anxiety are pathologized as defects requiring intervention. This commercialization of discontent creates an endless cycle of seeking and purchasing cures for being human. A lot of self help content promotes a dangerous indo digitalism by suggesting that

all problems and all solutions lie within the self. This perspective conveniently ignores social, economic, and political factors that profoundly impact and shape our lives. Social support, community connection, and systemic change are frequently sidelined in favor of individual mindset shifts. And while managing our mind, I think is the ultimate challenge for us humans as we navigate life on the big, big blue revolving ball. Put your teeth back in harps.

There are a bunch of, as I always talk about, external out of our control variables that are going to impact us as well. So we need need to navigate both that internal world of us and that external world that we inhabit. Perhaps most concerning is how self help can function as a form of gas lighting. And when people facing genuine hardship are told their circumstances result from negative thinking or insufficient gratitude, it trivializes their struggles and

deflects attention from addressing real injustice. True personal growth often involves embracing complexity, sitting with discomfort, and acknowledging that there are no universal solutions. It requires critical thinking and discernment, precisely the qualities that many self help gurus discourage In favor of unquestioning belief and that whole kind of three steps two five steps two. You know, here's my solution paradigm. Join the thought cult, believe me by the idea, by

the program. You know. And while there are great programs, there are great you know, presenters, there are great books, there are great teachers. Just like in any field, there's also the opposite. And as you know, I suggest here all the time that Craig Harper is not the solution to anything. In fact, I'm of myself, I'm no value

to you. I'm not the solution, but rather the guy that is trying to steer you towards a solution, like the conduit to ideas and strategies and information and resources and perhaps knowledge and awareness and insight, none of which is me. I'm just pointing towards that stuff. And if I get, if I get to the point where I'm trying to convince you that I'm the answer for you, which I'll never get there. But if somehow I did,

you should definitely unfollow, unsubscribe, and not listen anymore. While there are evidence based approaches to improving well being, they really come packing in the simple marketable formulas that dominate best seller lists. Real help might be less glamorous than its self help counterpart, but it offers something far more valuable. A significant portion of self help content is designed to

be emotionally uplifting rather than practically useful. And while it's good to have a little bit of a emotional or motivational or inspirational inputs, we still need to be strategic. We still need to be able to solve real world problems with real world practical strategies and solutions and phrases like just believe in yourself or think positive, or I can be all you can be, or you can do anything you achieve. It sounds great, but it's just it's

just not helpful. It's inspiring, but it doesn't. It doesn't add any real value or substance. And while mindset NOTTIM is a matter, they're not on their own. They're not magic bullets. The oversimplification of complex psychological, emotional, sociological, interpersonal, and behavioral changes leads people to believe that motivation alone is enough, when in reality, meaningful change requires effort, discipline,

self control, strategy, and sometimes professional guidance. Many self help gurus make bold claims without scientific backings, pseudo scientific ideas psychobabble such as rewhyre your brain instantly, really or raise your vibrational frequency to attract success, misleading audiences to thinking that there are shortcuts to personal growth reward without work, getting to the top of the hill without doing any climbing.

And while neuroscience and psychology provide evidence based strategies for change, these also take time and effort and consistency. It's not some instant rewiring of the brain or mystical magical energetic shift. Even widely accepted self help principles, like the idea that it takes twenty one days to form a habit, that it's not true. That's based in myth. There's no research around that. There's no rigorous studies or science around that.

The reality is that behavioral change varies significantly among individuals and depends on multiple factors, including reinforcement, environment, and psychological conditioning. And think about the idea that you know, we go twenty one days to form a habit. And also, I think they say some people say break a habit, Well, what if the habit I'm trying to break is a heroine, a heroin addiction or whatever. It's that I should swear less or whatef. It's that I should cut back on

my coffee from five to two a day. I mean the idea that there is an arbitrary number of days to form a habit or break a habit. I mean, even just thinking logically, when we think of the myriad of variables around the different types of addiction that exist or habits that we want to make or break, and then you think about the other variable of the individual,

like we are all psychologically, emotionally, energetically, biologically, physiologically, neurologically different. Now, of course you know, of course you and I will not change the same habit or create the same habit, or eat the same food, or do the same thing and produce the same outcome in the same amount of time,

because we ain't the same. And so this this idea that pervades in you know, this pop psychology, self help personal development space of you know, the three five seven step plan to anything creates more problems and disappointment and frustration for people than it does happiness, joy and long term success. I guess another dangerous aspect of the self help world is toxic positivity. So that's the idea that you should always be happy and grateful and optimistic no

matter what. And while fostering a positive outlook and you know, being the solution focused person is beneficial, but suppressing or ignoring negative emotions can lead to emotional repression, increased stress, and even a decline in mental health. So we're we're of the problems. Like real self help acknowledges struggles and successes and doesn't pretend that life should be all fucking sunshine, affirmations, Disney movies and puppies. So where yep, life sometimes is

a motherfucker. It's messy, it's uncomfortable, it's unfair. Bad things happen to good people, you know, people that we love die, people that we love get sick, you know, all of that stuff that you know. But in the middle of all of that, the variable that we're trying to control as much as possible is our thinking and choices and behaviors and actions and reactions. But at the same time, we're human. We're going to have good days and bad days.

We're going to get grumpy, we're going to get happy, We're going to get sad, We're going to get pissed off, We're going to get joyful, where we're going to find solutions, we're going to obsess about problems that don't yet exist. And then, as I always say, it's lunchtime. So this is the part out of the human experience that you know, I think we need to acknowledge we're not chasing perfection. Hopefully, we're chasing improvement and growth and development in an intelligent,

maintainable way. I think also, you know, the self help industry, if that's the right word, it can subtly suggest that if you're not happy or you're not successful, then that's

your fault. Well, again, so many different factors that influence that, and this kind of thinking can lead to unnecessary guilt and self blame, and then the process ignore systemic environmental, financial, practical, and psychological factors that influence all of us and our well being and our mindset and our happiness and our day to day, moment to moment experience. And not only there is some self help advice misleading and doesn't lead

to a good outcomes or positive change. But sometimes it's damaging, sometimes it's harmful. So advice like quit your job and follow your passion, well, I think people should try and find something that feels less like work and more like a passion. I do think that, But at the same time, I don't think we need to make that decision on Monday and leave the job on Tuesday. If we're not in a financial or practical situation to make that work.

And while it sounds appealing, it can be financially reckless. But what we can do is we can take that idea I would like to do something else. I would like to get out of this job, or this industry or this situation, and over time strategize and create a pathway towards something that's much better than what we're going to what we're currently doing. But stepping out of it having an idea at twelve o'clock and throwing in the

toile at one pm probably not a great plan. Having said all of that, I'm not saying that all self help is bad. I literally live in the self help, personal development, human behavior space. I like to think, you know, as somebody who's falling towards the finished line of a doctorate in psychology, I'd like to think that the stuff that I share is hopefully use a friendly and it makes sense, but it's also pretty sound in terms of

its scientific rigor. But as always, you know, I don't believe something that I say because it seems to make sense. Don't automatically believe it because of that or you like me, But maybe consider it and take it for a test drive. As I always say, if I say something that to you seems like a good idea, then perhaps put it into practice for a minute or a moment or an hour, and then see what happens and do your own research. So there's a valuable guidance out there, grounded in psychology,

behavioral science, real world kind of application. But I think it's it's crucial that we all approach self help with a critical mindset. So I've got a few questions that I think are pertinent that we should ask ourselves as we consider taking on a piece of advice that we get from wherever it is, whether it's from a podcast or a whiteboard post or someone else's ig or whatever it is Facebook doesn't matter. The question one is is

this evidence based or just anecdotal? Now, just because something, just because there isn't research on something, doesn't mean that that anecdote might not be valuable or insightful. But it's

good to distinguish. It's good to know that just because old mate Craig doesn't eat lunch, and just because Craig gets good results on two meals a day, and just because Craig does X, Y and Z, right, Well, that's all anecdotal, that's all lived experience, that's all my experience, right, And while that's evidence based in the one of one sense, it's not broadly representative of everybody. So back to that. You know, this is what I do, and this is this is my protocol, this is how I did it.

These were the outcomes based on these outcomes, this started these results, this is my interpretation, this is what I did, this is why I did it, and this is what I got. Right Now, we can also do a deep dive into the science and we can look at broader research and we can see what's happened on mass or we can see what the science tells us about certain protocols or certain treatments or certain programs or whatever it is.

But it's always good to you know, even if somebody that you like and respect gives you a bit of advice that seems to make sense, it's always good to do a little bit more research. Inform yourself, or maybe even if you want to be really boring, go and

read a few papers and a few studies. If you don't know how to do that, it's probably not a terrible thing to do to go into somewhere like Google scholar, which is a really good starting point Google scholar to be able to start to get an insight into reading some kind of first hand research. And what's really good about now is twenty twenty five. Now is you might read something that and so much, especially that kind of

high level academic research paper stuff is mumbo jumbo. Well it's true, most of it's true, but it's in language that's very hard to decipher and understand sometimes. But you can literally download those articles in the chap GP or Claude or whatever AI you use, if you use AI and say, can you explain this ten page report or this ten page journal article in one page of user friendly language, and it'll do it for you. So there's that.

The next question that we might want to ask in terms of thinking critically about self help is does this piece of advice offer real solutions to real problems, to real complicated, real world problems and or challenges, or is

it a drastic over simplification that just sounds good. The next question is does this piece of advice encourage self awareness, self reflection, critical thinking and action, or just passive agreement and conformity, like I think anything that doesn't make you think, Like hopefully this little extravaganza right now makes you think and it gets you to do a deeper dive, because ultimately, you know, the world's your classroom. Every day is a

lesson you're the student. But also you know you need to choose who your teachers are, who you're going to listen to, and that you know that's a myriad of people and a myriad of resources. But you need to be discerning in terms of who you pay attention to because there's you know, so much stuff available and perhaps even more discerning I should say about who you trust. Next question is is this information backed by you know, experts, science, legit information or is it just is it a sales pitch?

Is that marketing? Is it clever marketing thinly disguised as some kind of science, And there's so much of that, so much of that. My next question is what is my data telling me? What are my results, my outcomes telling me? Because you and I are always producing results, and if we're smart, we'll pay attention to those results.

We'll correlate the results back to our behavior, and will correlate our behavior back to our intention and our goal setting out, and then the data will tell us what is working, what is not working, what is efficient, what is inefficient. And so I think sometimes some of the best lessons and the best insights and the best moments of awareness and awakening is not to listen to Craig Harper, but to listen to yourself, to listen to your body,

to listen to your own data. And I think, you know, just while all of this stuff is, you know, not all of this Some of this stuff is informative and interesting and potentially helpful and supportive and inspirational. Your life is the project, like your life is an ongoing research process. If you make that. That is why, of course I call this show that you project is because, and I've said it many times, but on Planet You, you are the project. The project. On Planet You is the person

in the mirror. You're trying to manage your mind and your emotions. You're trying to manage your choices, You're trying to manage your actions and reactions. You're trying to manage your energy and your emotions and your feelings and your doubts and your insecurity. You know, you're trying to manage relationships. You're trying to manage your talent and resources. Like that is you every day showing up to the cold face. That is you trying to manage you. You know, you

are the project. You are the study. You are the researcher, and you are the participant. You are the n equals one on planet you. Yeah, real personal growth. It's not about shortcuts or magical thinking or relentless positivity. It's about It's about you, understanding you. It's about self awareness. It's about effort. It's about work. It's about being the calm and the chaos. It's about being the solution person. It's about being able to deal with the unfairness, the bullshit,

the mayhem, the good days the bad days. Yeah, it's all that. It's all that. It's all that real world, practical stuff that is not necessarily holding out a hand for money. It's not necessarily someone trying to manipulate or coerce you into another program or product or something. And it's really it's just ultimately, it's universal wisdom and insight that we can all tap into if it's the right stuff. I feel like I rambled there. You know. You know when you get to the end of your thing, this

is what I do. I'm just going to ramble now, fucking you know when you get to the end of your thing and you go, fucking now, I was going good. I'm just going to give you my honest self assessment. Now. I felt like I was going good then for a while. Then I got a bit waylaid and distracted. This is the problem with me. This is the problem. This is a learning moment for me and maybe few This is the problem. When I freestyle, things are clearer and I

don't get tripped up. Like right now, I'm freestyling. There's nothing written down. I didn't plan to do this. But when I go, oh, I'm going to write something, and I'm going to share that shit that I've written. And then as I'm reading to you, as I'm going through my dot points or my paragraphs, I realize as I say it out loud, eh, this fucking reads better than it sounds, you know. Um, But anyway, I will solder on,

I will keep doing I like you. I will keep doing my very best to be better for me and also for you. I will do my very best to be a better teacher and coach and mentor and podcaster and you, for better or worse. While I was going to say you will, you will be part of my fuck up. So you may not. You may go not last episode. I'm out. Don't blame you anyway. Let's see how much of this stuff we can get through together. Love your collective guts is. Have a good day. It's

now nine thirty eight. I'm a little peckish. See you tomorrow.