I'll get atif cook. Welcome to my show, which we call the You Project. How are you?
I've a what a pleasure to just be here on the You Project.
Ah, look at us both being here in the middle of the fucking engine room of the project that is you, eighteen one hundred and something episodes down the track, just sharing the love and the information, inspiration, education and frivolity with the masses. I just got off a big phone call before with Nova, the people that partner with us on this fine little bloody endeavor, at a five to ten minute in the calendar, five to ten minute meeting
with Kerry from Nova. Kerry, if you're listening, Kerry could talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles. She fucking goes. She's a verbal fucking older sack. Once you go in, once you drive into that verbal culder sack, you just go around that. You cannot get out conversational stands. But God bless she's good. She looks after us, and she's great at her job. But there are no five minute meetings with Kerry, none, not one.
Or there's no five minute meetings with you either, Harp. So I'm just saying, chatty, chatty, you know.
You know, sometimes I'm not chatty. Sometimes I'm like do this, do that? Shut up, get over there, But I am somewhat well. That was a repeating theme in my school reports starting in grade three with Craig has a tendency to be somewhat loquacious in class and distracting for other children. And I'm like, Mum, what's loquacious? She's like, I don't know. So there was no Google or fucking chat GPT back then, just the Webster's Dictionary that we didn't have access. I
think you talk too much, is what she's saying. And turns out Mary's guest was on the money excessively and unnecessarily verbose was another one.
Thank god you didn't listen though, thank god.
And another teacher who remain sorry, a teacher who remained nameless because people thought I was throwing her under the bus, but I actually loved this teacher said to me, with the most thoughtful of intentions, you need to stop talking in class because no one is ever going to pay to hear you talk, so you need to start learning. And I went, that's a good point, and in most instances that is very sound advice, as it turns out she was wrong, but I love her. She was a
very good teacher and just again. But you know, here I am now, and I have not learned my lesson, still not shushing. I've turned it into a fucking business, a career, I think.
Great. The amount of things you can turn into just about anything you can turn into a business these days.
That is true. That is true. If you can I mean, I think, and I'm not saying I'm a brilliant communicator at all, but if you can communicate, whether or not that's on a podcast or as a school teacher, as a negotiator, or as a salesperson or as you know, a parent, whatever, whatever the role, if you can communicate, build connection, rapport, understanding with other people, Like, that's a running start to a lot of careers and situations and
problems that you're going to need to solve. You know, if you can communicate, understand others talk a little bit less than me. Ideally, listen, listen a little more ideally. I'm getting there, though.
You've come a long way. I dare say, be proud. The unnamed teacher should be proud.
Now that's the unnamed teacher. The funny thing is like today, it's one point thirty six is we're recording. I've spent the whole from six am this morning till now, I've spent it by myself. Other than that a cough at the cafe where I'm still sitting by myself, and hello to a few people. But yeah, and so then then I get with another human, I get a bit excited. My first, my first face to face significant chat. I'm
looking at a face on a screen. I wanted to chat to you about something that I find very interesting. I said to you, I opened this door last night with my group. So we're recording this Tuesday. Last night was week six of my mentoring group that I'm currently running. If you're thinking, fuck, I wouldn't mind doing a mentoring group with Harps. It's ten weeks of you and me just opening all kinds of doors and pushing all kinds of buttons. Then we're going to announce a new group
very soon. You can jump in on that. Yes, that was a blatant fucking sales pitch. There you go, You're welcome. But anyway, last night we did week six of ten. And every week is obviously a different area or a different topic. And last night was happiness, fulfillment and in a piece. And as I said to you, and clearly I'm not the guru on this, I mean, but it's really it's a conversation and interaction, questions and answers, like
doing deep rabbit hole dives on different things. And of course, you know, what is happiness and or fulfillment and or in a piece for one person would be different from someone else. So in other words, you know, you and I get on a motorbike, happiness, fun, joy, someone else gets on a motorbike, terror, you know, horror, fucking you know, anxiety, all of those things, right, So it's not so it's largely about what is the stimulus, what is the thing happening,
and what is the response. But a big part of what we ended up talking about is what I call the two world theory. There's actually a theory in science called the many world's theory, but I just call this very colloquially, and somebody else might use it in another capacity, but I call it the two worlds theory, which is essentially the fact that we're talking about the fact that all of us inhabit on a level, we live in a lot of worlds, and I could get really deep.
But on the most fundamental level, we kind of inhabit a physical, three dimensional world, you know, a world where I can see TIF go into the gym, or I can see a ride a motorbike, or people can interact with her on the street, and she does life out in the world where she pays bills and does her job and intersects with other humans and goes overseas to India and travels and gets on planes and drives cars and pays bills and has a career, all of these
practical things that happen in the real world, or the physical world, I should say, And that's where kind of life happens, and that's where we kind of do a
lot of life. But the place where living happens is really more of that internal space of thoughts and feelings and ideas and passions and desires and goals and intentions and self love and self loathing and self worth and self esteem and aspirations and values and beliefs and ideas and creativity and terror and joy and pain and discomfort, and you know, all of those things that happen or
are variables in our internal world. And so I wanted to open this door with you today a little bit, because, as we've said before, we are in terms of like internal world. Where I do my living is in my thoughts and feelings and ideas, et cetera. But where I do life is in this big physical place out here with all the other humans. And it's not better or worse, or right or wrong. It's just part of the human experience.
And this idea that you know, success in our culture is, as you've heard me say too many times, but we generally define success in our culture as about all things external. What you've got, what you own, what you look like, what you drive, where you live, what people think you, how many followers you have, how much do you make your brand, your academic prowess, your motorbike, your car, your dogs,
or whatever. It is like all of these things that people can see and assess and evaluate and assign a certain value, be that financial or social status value or whatever. And I guess the interesting thing is that so many people seem to be ticking a lot of boxes. They've got a good job, they're pretty fit, they've got a nice car, they've got a nice place to live, they've got from the outside looking in it's pretty good, but the inside out experience is not always that, and we
seem to have a lot of effort and focus. I'm generalizing, and so listener, this might not be you specifically, but in general terms, we seem to have a lot of energy and focus and attention on all that external stuff while not really having a plan per se for the
internal stuff. And I guess my first I'll shut up after this tiff, but I guess my first real revelation in this space was even though I kind of instinctively knew it as when my career kind of took off and things did really well and I owned a bunch of gyms and I was making lots to do and in the middle of all of that, I mean, I wasn't miserable, but I certainly wasn't. I actually was not
as happy as when I was younger. And that's not to say one caused the other, but this started me on this kind of inquiry, this path of inquiry about, oh, what is if I've got all this stuff and I don't feel successful, like I look successful and I seem successful to others, but if that perceived success doesn't equate to happiness or joy or fulfillment or contentment. Then maybe I'm not successful at all. Steps down off soapbox.
I went for run this morning and I was thinking, and I went for a walk with someone last night, and I feel like this topic is really closely tied to some of the thoughts I was having, And this morning it was that idea that I've started doing a little bit of running instead of the way that I used to train. I've changed a lot of things. I've got new hobbies now they're very different. I've signed up for a new course, so I've restructured how I how
I manage my time and my days. And whilst I was running, I was thinking about how hard and uncomfortable but necessary change is, Like how hard it is even when you choose it and you start it and you know it's the right direction. The idea of habit and
familiarity gets inside your head, you know. And I could still feel that happening in the middle of all the stuff I'm doing, but also thinking about all of these changes and being really aware of how this will change me, how new hobbies will make my mind focus and think about new things, and that will change the life that happens inside my head and also outside and what will be important and it's interesting.
Yeah, well I think see what I think about with that, and this is not this is just me thinking out loud. Okay, so you're learning piano. These are all things that are happening in your external world, right yeah, yeah, not good
or not bad by the way. I think those things are great, by the way, But I still think we still then talk about stimulus and response, and in a way we have this idea if I do this or if I get that, talk about external world, if I do this, achieve that change that own that, then I will feel this or this will make my internal This will make me less stressed, This will make me more calm,
this will make me. I wonder if we can address the internal stuff without making that internal change a byproduct of something that we are doing in our physical world, Like ah, if I meditate, I do this thing, then
that will take away this. And I'm not saying that they shouldn't be coral, but it's always like I'm gonna you know, when I get you know me, part of my story is when I get my PhD, I'm going to be happier, like I know I'm not and that's not to say that a PhD is good or bad, but there's something just in the back of your head where you go. Like somebody said to me today, when do you finish? I go on, I'm kind of middle of you. How happy will you be? I go, I'm
so fucking happy. It's all about lunchtime right right, because this is we go. When I do this, that life will be good. Yeah, maybe maybe.
But also you can't. You can't escape how everything influences you. So I think about what are the people or the conversations or where does what will my mind grab hold of? Like you can't do nothing. You have to do things to change you have to do things to change your internal but it's it's not about the doing of the thing that Maybe it's about the process of the environment it puts you in, or the choices you make, or how you adapt and evolve because of the thing. Does that make sense even?
Yeah? Kind of kind of. I think also by the way I think I do without trying to contradict myself, I think in general terms. Quite often it's the like, for example, you want to learn to think differently, hang out with different people, have different conversations, expose yourself to new ideas, new new environments, new culture, and new whatever. You know, you're gonna just by osmosis, you're going to start to think differently because you're onboarding new ideas and information.
You want to become a better tennis player. Don't play with people that are worse, play with people that are better. Get dragged up. You know, same with a lot of principles. But I still think that like being able to be still and take us do a stuff like, ah, what's this feeling? What's that about? Where's that coming? What is this? Okay? What am I feeling right now? Like that awareness exercise? Where what is it that I'm feeling? I'm feeling insecure? Okay,
where does that come from? What is that about? What triggered that? What's a better way for me? How could I reframe this? You know, all that kind of that looking inward rather than looking outward to create some internal fix?
And like, how many people do you know? And I know that like I've literally worked with thousands, You've worked with I'm sure hundreds, literally work with thousands of people who their overwhelming goal was to change their body significantly, and then they did, and again they were happier till lunchtime, and then the next day it's almost like their reset back to their previous emotional and psychological state, and they would come in and go, I just want to lose
three more caves, or I just want to lift this much more, or I just want to run this much quicker, or I want my body composition to be this not that, And I go, that's what we've been working forwards towards for a year. And you're there, You're at the top of the mountain. Yeah. Yeah, it's like this destination disappointment thing. You get there, you got into the destination, you reach the goal, you hit the number, you reach, the wage, you reach, the look, the feel, the shape, the PhD,
the whatever it is. And then you're like, ah, because we have this story, whether it's conscious or subconscious, that arriving at this literal or metaphoric, or financial or physiological or professional point is going to create some internal experience somewhere in the wheelhouse of joy and contentment and permanent happiness.
Do you often sit down and workshop your own life?
I think probably too much. Like you know, you've met Vin, Yeah, I love Vin. Shout out to Vin, best mate for hundred years. Bin's like, you fucking think too much? Kay, you know, because but I do. I try not to. I don't really have any anxiety around it. I have more curiosity, and I think because for me, I really want to be I want to be authentic about like I don't want to talk about stuff that I don't do,
you know. I don't want to talk about creating an optimal operating system while not actually trying to do that myself. So yeah, there's no bigger critic of me than me. Doesn't mean I hate myself, but I don't often do work and I go, yeah, that's fuck, I killed it. That's amazing. Like I'm a very hard marker of my
own work. Doesn't mean there's self loathing in there. But you know, if I do a corporate gig and I speak to a bunch of people and I talk for an hour and a half or whatever, I do you know a day, an hour, half an hour, and Melissa will always ask me on the way back from that gig, how did you go? And I'll give her a number. The numbers always between one and ten, and it's not
often I give myself an eight or a nine. It's generally somewhere in a six, seven, seven and a half, But if you ask the people in the audience, I would think quite often it would be closer to a nine. Yeah, but I just yeah, I think even when I do something great, it doesn't me seem great. I feel like there's room for improvement.
Do you also workshop your non working part of your life? Like do you sit down and look at what's my what's my what are my relationships look like? What does my free time look like? What do my hobbies look like? And if do I want them to be different? And if I do, what does that? What does that mean? What does that look like?
Uh No, I don't but I tell you what I do do like, I don't do it that way, but I do a version of that. I don't really see like as I have a conversation with you, now this is a genuine, in the moment for me thinking about stuff, honestly, conversation. This is not me role playing to record something for an episode that we can put up. So I'm simultaneously connecting with you. We're having a good chat. I'm enjoying it.
But also we're doing work, we're produce sing something. So I don't really have that delineation or that separation so much between where I go now I'm working and now I'm not working, and even when I do. You know, the funny thing is, even when I work, where you go, oh he's working, is getting dressed up and he's going into the city and he's talking to a bunch of people in a bloody auditorium. Even that for me is fun.
Like if you said to me, you can sit at home by yourself and watch Netflix, or you can go and talk to a thousand people. We won't pay you. I'd probably rather go talk to a thousand people because I love that. Like that is fun for me. So there's no I think it depends on your relationship with work. Like if work for you is something you survive, something that you just put up with, something that is a necessary evil, then yeah, I think that would be a
hard way to live. But you know, because that isn't the case with me. I don't feel like I've got to get away from anything.
You know, I didn't think that either, But I think I'm starting to evaluate the idea of just how much my mind always has to work, always has to think, always has to plan. And I know, even with the hobby of a piano. I'm still doing that, but I'm doing it in a way that it doesn't relate to any form of success or well apart from my own accolades of bragging all over socials. But you know, it's not related to a profession, you know, an endpoint that
has anything to do with business. And I think I noticed when I try and take time to just sit, my mind just wants to think and it wants to plan, and it doesn't switch off very well.
So yeah, and that's.
Always been natural for me. Yeah, it's just I guess it's just under the microscope at the moment, is it. You don't want to continue to be that way all the time.
It's it's you know, it's hard to change, isn't it, when especially when like part of just how you operate is just your personality. Then another part of it is how your brain works based on your genetics, you know, And then another part of it is how more broadly out from your brain, your body works, like just biologically, physiologically. And so it's one thing to say I'm going to be different this year. No you're not. You're the fucker.
You're the same. You're the same. You might do different things and behave differently, and that doesn't mean you can't change, grow, or evolve. I'm talking about all of the c and me included, but the amount of stuff that I know that is stupid that I still do periodically. Like even when you know something, it doesn't mean you don't do it.
Like if you know that that thing is destructive or toxic or stupid, there's a fair chance you're going to do it at some stage, because you know, for a range of reasons, but one of the main reasons is we're emotional. Like I look at people on which I don't participate in, but on social media, just going nuts at strangers about you know whatever, and it's just such a fucking to me anyway, Like maybe it meets some need in them, I'm sure it does, but I just go, fuck,
what a waste of energy and time. And you know, and by the way, half the people fully agree with you, and half of the people think you're more on and those numbers are not going to change. So you're not changing anyone's mind, and you're just getting thumbs up from your own little echo chamber, and you're not creating anything any change on any kind of significant level, like what's
the point. And it's like if that made your life better or you're a better person, or that made you joyful or then cool or healthier or but there's nothing good to come out of that shit, but people are so invested in it.
People can't help but do it. These days, I started I unfollow, I unfollow people that are negative and put stuff up that I don't want it. But even I've started unfollowing stuff that even if it's not bad or negative, if it just makes me if I just don't want that energy in my life. If for no reason there might need to be shit people with shit sharing shit stuff, but if they share stuff that makes me go on my own tangent, I just have started snoozing people on
socials and going on it. I don't want to. If I'm going to open my phone and look at shit, I want it to be stuff that makes my life better.
Yeah, well, I think that's wise. And that doesn't mean, you know, like snoozing people or deleting people or unfriending or whatever the fuck it is. I don't know, I'm old, but I don't know how it works with you kids. But to me, it's like well, my energy and my time and my attention is not infinite. It's finite. So based on who I want to be and how I want to be, what's the best investment, Like if I'm going to be on my phone, I'm going to look at stuff, I'm going to watch a video. Let's not
say everything's got to be life changing and uplifting. Sure, I watched the odd motorbike video or the odd fucking I seem to be inundated with dog videos. I blame you and a couple of friends for that. Ah, But you know, it's like, for the most part, you know, it's that question that I've said a few times, like in the morning. Generally I think something like, in terms of what I want to do today and be today and create and change and fix and address or whatever,
what's the best use of my energy and time? What should have my attention, what needs what's the best use of my mental and emotional energy? Because it's not finite, you know, And I think if you you've got to catch yourself though, because it's easy to go down distracting rabbit holes where you look up and you're like, well that was an hour.
And that's the thing it's like this, you've got to accept that that we're wired for that they've they've made this shit so that we will do that. So we're fighting up, you know, we're swimming against the current. But back to the two world theory, what do you have principles or how do you manage or how do you coach people to manage that?
I kind of think like, and this is a bit cheesy, but I go, let's start with the internal stuff. What matters to you, like, what's your what's your if you have a life philosophy or ideology, what are your values, what do you care about? And then based on that stuff like what's important to you, what are your values, what are your goals, what are your standards? Based on that, are you living a life, a practical life that's reflective
of those things? You know, it's all well and good for me to talk about the stuff that I talk about, but then I need to go and be that and do that and live that. You know. It's imagine if somebody who's listened to me for hundreds of episodes, who kind of knows who I am and how I am, and then they see me out one night and I'm
eating fucking three. Chico rolls on my seventeenth beer and I'm spewing in the garter and I'm screaming at someone and people would go, you know, not that that would ever happen, but people would be like, oh, he's a complete fraud, you know, or if I treated someone belligerently, or if I was you know, I was just out of alignment with how I present myself to the world. And you know, we spoke last night. We've spoken here
again about this, but not for all while. You know, the public version of you, the personal version of you, the private version of you, and the secret version of you. You know, and the public version of you is the one that you let everyone see, and then the personal one is you know, close friends, and then private you is maybe one or two people, and then secret you is the you that only you get to know and meet. Right.
And I was talking about last night with my group, my mentor and group about without being inappropriate, I try
to bring so remember it's public, personal private. As we get closer to the core, I try to bring private me out into the public domain a little bit so that I can be really authentic and I can be of value to others and talk about stuff that maybe is hard to talk about, but also talk about stuff that doesn't make me look good, stuff that actually makes me look a bit fucked up and a bit flawed and a bit limited and a bit you know, inadequate.
Which is that is who I am, you know. And if I'm always trying to present to my audience or the world a better version of me than I actually am, then I'm role playing. Now. It's catch twenty two. Because when you have a public facing kind of thing, of course, you want people to think highly of you. You know, your brand, your business. You want to look good, you want to sound good. You want people to rave about you, whatever it is. You want to have raving fans, as
they say. But yeah, like I had just before I told you I was talking to Kerry from Nova, remember yeah, shout out to Kez again and we're talking about a sponsorship thing. Now i'll tell you what it is, afair. I can't tell you now. But it's a bit tricky because it's one of those products that I'm like, it depends, you know. It's like I there are some things I'm happy to have. Let's say, for example, let me pick
someone or something that like Subway, you know, the sandwich bar. Yeah, Like, if Subway came to me and when can we sponsor your show, I'd go yep, And I might go, hey, today's episode is brought to you by Subway. Thanks Subway. Boom, right, But I'm not going to go, Hey, everyone, I eat Subway three days a week or seven days a week, and the food is the best food you can eat, and you should all eat Subway. I'm not going to do that now. I'm not saying it's bad at all.
I'm not saying it's a bad product. I'm not saying anything either way. But there are just certain things that like do you want me can we say that today's episode is brought to you by the people from Subway and blah blah blah this month you can buy a foot long for that. Yep, we can do that. But can I personally tell a lie about my relationship with No? I can't, And I'm not going to go. I think something's fucking amazing, even if you're offering me lots of do if I don't think it's amazing.
Yeah, Well, because you lose credibility. People don't want to listen.
That's the ever present challenge. On the one hand, bills you know, you go and then even Kerry goes, are you sure? I go, yeah, I'm sure. That's okay. But I think we've figured something out which is going to be win wins. So so we'll see. But I mean, like, when are you at your what are you at your most This is not the right word, but you're most settled, like the least anxious, the least overthinking. Is there a rhyme or reason to that? Can you control it? Can
you manage it? Or is a little bit hit and miss.
I guess when I'm when I'm engaged in something that like boxing, was always that for me, which is why without doing it competitively anymore, I am I'm seeking something that gets me that engaged because it need to block out everything else. I always got a just a busy, excitable minds. That's thinking, and that's my challenge at the moment. And I guess what I was thinking about before is that letting go of trying to get somewhere and just be where I am. And that's all the little changes
I'm making. The internal changes exist. There is internally just be where you are. So these are the choices you're making and you're going to do new things, but not to get somewhere, just to be where you are for now. And one day you might get somewhere, but that'll just be a byproduct, and then when you get there, you'll just be where you are.
Yeah, which is.
Very unme for a long time. I rush, I rush everything, rush. I mean such a rush. What for fucked if?
I know?
But I'm busy rushing. I've got to get there.
And you know what's interesting too, I think we kind of have a story, especially when it comes to things like our calmness and stillness and equanimity. And it's like we think, oh, he's sitting by a river counting butterflies and patting his Golden retriever and eating tofu and the breeze is just brushing up against his chin and he's looking at the mountain in the you know, it's like, yeah, maybe maybe that would drive me fucking nuts and make
me anxious because I can't get phone signal. Right, maybe, but I think the real challenge, which is not necessarily that's maybe part of it. Because I love having said that, I love sitting out in my garden. That does change my biology and physiology somewhat. But I think the real challenge is can I get into that metaphoric space or that place of calm and contentment and stillness and equanimity
and peace and all of that. Can I do that without having to be in a particular environment or location or by a river like Can I be the Can I be the calm in the chaos? Can I be that kind of little metaphoric monk in the middle of the madness. Can I be that? You know? I think that's the because if we can control our internal environment without needing some kind of external situation to create it for us, then we just take the calm with us.
In one of my last coaching groups, I I'm going to do it again. My participants do an hour and I got this off someone else. This was a brilliant guy I listened to on another podcast, and he talked about doing this sitting in silent, not not meditating, but just being still and silent for an hour in somewhere unfamiliar, like be out of your environment and just be still for an hour, not meditating, not trying to meditate, just be there. And I remember one of those people were
brought to tears by the experience. It's hard, Like, how do you just sit still without making the art the act of sitting still the thing that you are doing. Yes, that's very fucking hard.
Oh well we are. I mean, apart from when we're sleeping, we're pretty dynamic creatures. Like we're not static too often.
I was thinking about this morning. I was thinking, not necessarily in reference to me, but maybe, but I was like, I wonder how many people choose and respond to, but choose tough love because they don't feel like they deserve real love, right, because tough because real love is too whatever. It is, like, maybe that's me. I love I love training with tough love. I love being I love rising to that. But it's like, well maybe because there's something underneath that.
So are you talking about a coach that's kind of you know, I loves you and cares about you, but they kind of beat you into performance.
Yeah I guess, yeah, I guess so yeah.
Yeah, I mean I respond to that too. I like that. I'm not and this is not to say that how you and I respond to that is the way everyone should. Yeah, the whole arm. Yeah, I get that kind of soft gentle. You're amazing, Like I appreciate it, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable. Like I'm like, ah, I'm glad, I'm glad you think that, but yeah, that doesn't Yeah, I don't know. Look, I do appreciate it, but I think I feel unworthy. I don't know. I feel I'm always
felt unworthy. And I know this. I'm not looking for anything from anyone. Yeah, and I'm aware of it, you know, and the impostor and the self doubt and all that shit. And I know I've done all right, and I know I'm not a dickhead. I get all of that, but yeah, there's still this, ever, even though it doesn't make sense, Like I can just objectively look at what I've done in the last forty years and go, well, clearly you're not a genius, but you're not an idiot. Right, You've
done some Okay, you've been somewhat successful. Right, But nonetheless, despite that evidence, I can still feel the opposite because that's emotion, right, Yeah. Yeah, Like we were talking last night about this is interesting. So you know how if you take you've got a headache, you take a panadole. For example, I take about one pana dolar year and a good year, you take a panadolle your headache goes away.
Two days later you get a headache, or the next day take pandola, and then you know, eventually, within a few days you've got to take two. And then eventually you've got to take ten to get the same response because your receptors have down regulated, and now you need five thousand milligrams of whatever it was, not five hundred milligrams to get the same response because your physiology has
changed around that in response to that. And there's a thing in psychology and human beha you called the headonic called headonic adaptation. So have you heard of the term hedonism?
Yes, yep.
So hedonism is all about where if I'm a hedonist, my whole life is about pleasure. It's about me doing shit that gives me joy and happiness and pleasure, and that's my focus, right. But this interesting thing happens is when you do something that gives you, let's say, a ten out of ten response, and then the next day you do it or that day you do it again.
You know you'll still get a great response. But eventually, if you only have that same level of stimulus, like that awesome, amazing thing happen eventually that hedonic adaptation down regulates your response. So now instead of I was going to say, I'm going to say it, I fuck it, I'm going to say it. It also happens in sex, like so some people start off and they have regular sex and it's amazing. Then after a while, regularly X doesn't give them the same arousal or excitement or joy
or pleasure. Then they've got to buy a fucking chandelier, right, and then the chandelier gets tired and old. Then they've got to bring you know, now I can't say it, but now I can't fuck That was going to be
fucking hilarious too, but I'll get in trouble. But the bottom line is, and this happens not just in sex, but with lots of things where yeah, and in that case, there's actually research on that where the sex has got to escalate, it's got to become whatever, more intense, more diverse, more weird, more whatever for that individual or those individuals to get the same level of pleasure or the same
physiological response. What's my point? My point is, I think to really experience happiness, you have to experience sadness reasonably regularly and enjoy. You've got to experience pain and to embrace the troughs. You've got to just fucking work through the peaks, you know. I think it's like the shit storm, you know, gives us perspective when the sun shines, you know.
And all of that exists no matter how good or not good your life is, successfully or materiallybsent.
Yeah, I'm next week speaking of my group. Like I said to you last night, we did Happiness Fulfillment inner piece.
Next week we're doing our career, money and Retirement. Right, we're talking about which is very specific again and like it's such like the psychology of money and wealth, the experience and money and wealth, and the relationship that we have with money and wealth, and the way we socialize and our culture around money and the drive for money and the status that comes with money and the bullshit. Money's fascinating. Fuck, it's a fascinating especially the psychology of money.
So anyway, you've got to go and train someone very soon. And I've got to go and water my bamboo because it's hot. It's not going to go get my little feet in the dirt and order the fuck out of those bad boys. That are about fifteen feet outside my window. Thanks helps, Thanks tip, Thanks everyone,