#1805 Rate Of Perceived Exertion (RPE) - Dr. Jodi Richardson

So we'll see how we go. But once a month, but twelve months, doctor Jody has agreed to come and bless us with her presence.

that I don't think you're brilliant. I think you're brilliant at what you do. And I mean that sincerely. I mean, you've got a PhD, you've written best selling books, you've got an amazing podcast, you've been navigating life with anxiety forever and coming out the other side of that and raising kids and being a good human and a good wife and all that. So you're not doing that unless

you've got some talent, skill and intellect. But we were talking about how some people in it's almost it depends what room you're in, Right, Sometimes I go into a room I'm a fucking idiot, like in that room, and people think, oh, you're so whatever. No, I'm not kidding. I'm literally in some rooms I'm the dumbest depending on what we're talking about or doing, and then other rooms I feel like I'm okay, I'm not the dumbest in the room. Do you feel like that?

but not an academic but nonetheless brilliant. Right, And I was standing with a few people and I've been running this seven day kickstart thing which you might have seen, for everybody to jump on board, and there's a whole lot of there's a to do list every day in five different areas, fifteen different options, three different options under each of the areas. Have you seen any of that?

to do a video. I'm going to talk to you about shit, a little bit of information, inspiration, education, and every day, I'm going to write a program with fifteen different options. So doesn't some of them are cognitive, some of them personal development, some of them are resilient, some of them a cardios, some of them are strength. Right, So there's three different options. So even if you spend

life in a wheelchair, you can get involved. There's stuff you can do, you can fully participate, right, or if you're super duper fit but you want to do more cognitive training, you can get involved as well. So anyway, one of the one of the cognitive puzzles or problems to solve yesterday was two fathers and two sons go fishing. Right, two fathers and two sons go fishing. They caught three fish. We'll look at Jody's right, Two fathers and two sons go fishing, They catch three fish, and at the end

of the day, everyone takes home a fish. How is that possible? And then the crab said it within two seconds, and then the rest two are standing around considerably more academic or scratching their head, gone, that's not possible. How does that? I don't know. And it's so funny. It's like that kind of he has that instant problem solving ability where he hasn't. I mean, he's obviously learned things. But a lot of people know how to do stuff

because someone told them how to do the stuff. Yes, and then there are other people who have never been taught that thing, but they just they have a problem solving or a solution focused mind. Now, have you got any idea of the answer. So two fathers and two sons go fishing. Between them, they catch three fish, and at the end of the day everyone takes home a fish each.

long time ago we all learned that. Well, it's not like you've got it or you haven't. You're smarter, you're not. It's like we all have the capacity to learn. We all have the capacity to develop more skills, learn more and to grow And doesn't mean you're smarter. Well, it doesn't really matter. It's not one or the other. So I've kind of tried to raise the kids feeling like they've always got the potential to do whatever it is that they're hoping to do. But I grew up with

my brother. I don't know what his IQ is, but my older brother, who I adore, he's like a genius, Like he just things seemed to come more easily to him. I felt like I did really well, but I had to work really hard for it. And he since told me why things seemed easier for him, And I'm like, that just doubles down on the point that you're a genius.

of stuff. He reads widely and he's really good at translating it.

just like I can modify my body. But my genetics and my genetics and the way that I manage those genetics and what I do to them and how they express as a result of lifestyle and sleep and food and exercise, and like that's in my control. But I also think it's kind of a waste of time and energy.

Albeit we've all done it and I've done it, but you know, waxing lyrical about what you're not and what you don't have, and if only I was and if only I was born there, I was two inches taller, I had this, Well, you fucking don't, right, So you know you got what you got. That's the body, that's the brain, that's the genetics, this is where you were born. That's your situation. And so like my question to myself all the time is all right, well that's sixty one.

With the genetics, you've got, the endomorphic body type, you've got in the brain you've got, and the resources you've got, and the things that you want to do, and the current shape you're in, what can you do? Like, what's the best use of me today in terms of what I want to do be, create and change today on as we're recording this February twenty what's the best use of me and my energy and my ability today? And

then let's fucking lean into that. Because I can silk and winge about what I'm not and what I don't have. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and I'm still not going to have it and not going to be it, so, which is pointless self serving, self kind of what's the word self pitying? Bullshit? So why don't I just go all right? Well, clearly I'm not a genetic freak or an athletic freak or an intellectual freak. But nonetheless I've got potential. What am I doing with it?

comparisons or look for the big wins. Whereas you know, if each day you ask yourself that question, you know, how can I make the most use of everything that I've got within my control today? Sometimes I just I just sort of say to myself, look if I if I just do one percent better every few days, like

just just you know, the big things. Yes, there's a whole lot of big leaders we can pull, and you mentioned so many of them, but sometimes it's just you know, just setting your limits on your social media and just spending fifteen minutes on your Instagram, if you know, and moving on and then doing that. I don't know, like there's so many examples of what we can what we can do, and everybody that's listening it's it's going to

be so different. But I just think that there are opportunities every day for us to do the things that will help move us forward in the ways that we want that will ultimately bring us more joy and contentment and connection and all of those things. But it's very easy just to get on autopilot. It's very easy just to go through the motions.

so easy, could do them all day. Give us a number out of ten to kind of help us understand how hard was that for you? And so that RP or rate of perceived exertion is how do you feel doing this at this moment? Out of ten? And so yeah, obviously you know that was manageable for Dad, but I don't know that he could have done much more. He was really puffing. His back felt sore. He's got a chronic back injury. But you know, in a month's time,

as he trains builds strength, builds stamina, builds capacity. Doing that, the RPE for him, he's rating should be lower because he's he's trained for it. And so how's how's that for a brief?

once ten, how hard are you work? And ten is humanly the hardest you could, Like, if there was a million dollars in the line, you couldn't go harder than ten? What are you working at? And they'd go, oh, eight, And I'm like, no, you're not, No, you're fucking not. Yeah, and I'd say all right, And so many times like this.

I don't think I ever did this once and it failed, and obviously the results vary, but I've had people who have done, say, ten reps on a certain weight, and they tell me they're working at eight or nine out of ten. And I'm not doing this because I'm trying to make some physiological gain. I'm trying to get them to understand their potential and what they think. So there's what is hard actually hard, and then there's your story

about hard, right, they are very different things. And so many times I've said someone who got ten reps, I said, all right, we're going to have a minute or two, and then I said, I know this seems dumb. I want you to do a set and we're not going to put you at risk, but I just want you to do the same weight. I don't want you to even think about the reps. I don't want you to

even count. I'm going to count, and I just want you to keep going until I tell you to stop, or until you And so so many times the person who was working at eight or nine out of ten when they did ten reps, do thirty. I want you to do it like your fucking life depends on it. Now, obviously we're not going to train like that every day because that's not wise. But then this person goes, oh, oh, I go so this is what I'm trying to get you to. It's not about the reps. It's not about

this way. It's not even about the fucking Jim. It's about you understanding the space between your actual potential and your story, because your fucking story about what you can do is in no way aligned with what you can actually do. And this is the awareness that even with this show I want people to understand. It's like, people look at you and go, all right, you've got your own podcasts, you've written books, you've got a pH data da. You're special. Now. I mean this with all the love.

You're not special. You're just someone who's worked hard. I'm not special all and not that I'm the high watermark for anything, but you know, I'm the bloke that people tune into and listen to, and I'm like, thank you, I'm so grateful for that. But at the same time, I'm genuinely no smarter or better than virtually everyone that listens, right, And so I feel my responsibility as a coach and mentor and teacher and podcaster all shut up because I realize I'm talking too much, Jody, But is not to

elevate me, but to elevate the audience. Yeah, and to go, hey, just just don't get in your own way. That's the main thing.

are and how much potential we reach. Our brains just want to keep us safe, and so anything that stretches us our brain it's so natural. And so this awareness of kind of like what's happening, like noticing what's happening, what's the story around this, what's my mind telling me here? It takes that little bit of mindful awareness and stepping back to kind of listen and go right, what's happening right now? You know, because I know when you know I wanted to start, there was so much I wanted

to do and I'm doing it now. And anxiety obviously, you know I live with anxiety and it's up and down, But it was actually Adam, I remember I can I tell you a quick story, hearts.

that was one of the stepping stones. And my professor at Monash, professor Yui Prosky, he'd been interviewed a lot over the years, and he said, look, I've got the number and name of a science writer. Handed it to me. He said, I'm going to write to him and tell

him I've passed it on to you. Give him a call. Well, I had that number for months and I remember I distinctly remember being on the phone with Adam, my brother, and just saying, you know, sharing this sort of dream, this hope, and him saying, what's stopping you from picking up the phone, And I'm like, I'm scared. He's like, what are you scared? I'm like, I don't even know what I'm scared of, Like I can't even articulate it.

And you know, I know that it probably sounds cliche, but at the time when he said it to me, it landed and I don't know that I ever heard anyone say it before. He's like, Okay, this is going to take a bit of courage, and he said courriage is not waiting until you're not scared. It's like literally going, I'm really scared and I'm actually going to do it anyway.

Now listeners are not probably going to be thinking we'll have heard all that before, of course, but you know, sometimes you get the right message at the right time. And I picked up the phone and I met this guy. His name's Julian Crib. I met him actually drove on the way back from a Sydney holiday to meet him in Canberra with my family. My family went off for a lunch and I actually I don't even think I

had kids. Then I didn't. Peter went off for a lunch and I started doing writing, and then I started writing restrained magazines around mental health. And just that one step that felt so hard had this ripple effect and this kind of knock on effect was kind of like hard to get the momentum, get that big rock up and over the hill. But once I did it, just one thing led to another and it's always stayed with me.

I could still be waiting, Craig. I could have still been waiting and just doing what I'd always done and not feeling too good about it. And I'm always grateful to Adam for that moment, that conversation. But I know there are people listening who are thinking, yes, I've got that one thing I need to do, and I and maybe this is an impetus to kind of go right, what's the story? What am I actually scared of? What's

the worst that could happen? The worst it can happen, like is really not the end of the world under most circumstances.

that stuff, which is brilliant. But it's also about who you become when you do the thing, like because when you do the scary thing, whatever the scary thing is for you, and obviously it's just relative and relevant for the individual because what scares me might not scare you, so it's not scary per se. It's just scary for the individual. But yeah, it's like that whole And I know I say this too much, but it's not about it's not about being at the top of the mountain.

It's about the climb. It's about and it's not even about oh, look at what you know. That's cool, but it's about who you become on the climb. Who do I become when I'm doing the hard things, because what I'm doing is I'm building strength and resilience and adapt ability and cognitive flexibility and capacity to be the calm in the chaos, because life is chaos at times. The world is chaos. And if you are if you're fucking sat navs set on comfort and convenience and certainty and

predictability and that's your operating system, you're fucked. When the shit hits the fan because you have no capacity to deal with the mess. So doing the skin and like the scary stuff. Could be I'm going to start a company, or it could be I'm going to talk to this person and say hello. Like it doesn't it's relative to the ind of you know, it could be. I know one of the ladies that follows me shem me a DM and she went basically, you know, I'm out of shape.

I want to Is that what you call a DM or a peer?

than we've got bloody hot dinners. Right. Second, if you shop around and haggle a bit, you're going to get a gym membership for about fifteen bucks a week, which is give or take two dollars a day. Now for two dollars a day, you're going to have about a million dollars worth of equipment at your disposal. Now, next thing, you're scared to go the gym. Good, That doesn't mean you shouldn't go. Next thing, you think everyone's looking at you.

No one gives a fuck about you. Right, They're not looking at you in the gym, And if they are, big deal. But they aren't. I've spent my life in gym's right. When I go to another gym and no one knows who I am because I'm in state and I'm doing something, nobody gives a fuck about the sixty year old with a stubble at all. They're so preoccupied with themselves. Right, Yeah, anyway, So she did it. She

joined the gym, she saw, she had a consult. She's now three or four weeks in, and she sent me a message yesterday other day before said you and I don't always get it, right, of course, but she goes, you were one thousand percent right. I wish I'd have done this fifteen years ago. I fucking not, I fucking but I love it. I'm like, good, Now, you wouldn't have this experience unless you did the thing that scared you. So now she's training, she's met another lady that trains

at the gym. They're going to kind of do a bit of stuff together. They like each other. She did a class the other night, which you know, she was the worst, but she right all of a sudden that her world has opened up because she did something. You know, these people who go, I'm not a gym person, am I aren't you? You know, it's beautiful.

Get the Goldilock zone. The fitty you get, the more you can do, and what was hard once doesn't feel hard anymore. And it's it's I was reading something about, you know, the effort it takes to do things like oh, I mean, I literally was saying to my daughter because I'm trying to get the kids to cook a meal one night a week each harps because oh, I'm so overcooking.

And our son will spend hours soaking chicken in buttermilk and then he'll create this amazing crust and da da da, And our daughter is like, I want to cook the pasta and find the rose and spaghetti sauce, you know, path of least resistance. And I'm like, things that are

worthwhile require effort, require effort and can take time. And I was, yeah that we reminded me of something the other day that I read where it was like, you might not love the process, but perhaps it might help to focus on what you like about having done the process. It's like, I like to feel fit and have kind

of like a clearer mind and a better mood. So the process that's involved in that is getting up and going to the gym each day or every second day, or going for my walk or whatever it is for you. But it's not all easy. We don't always have to like it. We actually don't have to love every minute of every day. But it comes back to what you said earlier. What can I do today that is the best thing for my body, my brain, my business, if you've got one, or my potential.

do it because it's good, Like, just do it. Because you're fifty five, Your muscle's falling off you, your bone density is going through the floor, your function as downgrading, your brain's probably downgrading because you're not consciously doing anything to improve cognitive function. How about you do it not because you fucking enjoy it or enjoy it or don't, but because it's a thing that your body needs. And

he's like, oh, well, yeah, I guess yeah. Like this whole idea that we're not doing, I'm not doing that unless it's fun. Oh fucking good luck, good luck as you get you know, it's like that's ridiculous, Like there are so many things that you won't enjoy. I mean, of course we want to do things. We enjoy things that are fun. Me too, me too, But some of the shit I need to do, you know, and you

need to do. And like you, people want to be exceptional or they want to produce exceptional outcomes, but they don't want to do exceptional things. You know, what's an exceptional thing? We'll get up when most people would stay in bed. That's exceptional, you know, do the thing like when you're tired, you know, and you don't feel like it, maybe do it or a bit of it. Anyway, I'm not talking about never listening to your body. I'm just like, sometimes we've just got to push through that mental and

or emotional or physiological resistance. You know, that whole predisposition that we have, or we seem to have as a society where everything's got to be comfortable and convenient and we've got to enjoy everything. It's just a very impractical, unrealistic strategy for life.

He can't fish, he can't I mean, he's obviously in a lot of pain, and that's like a you know, another layer of it. But I just think that we want to we all imagine, I mean I expect most of us imagine to live pretty long, healthy lives. We want to still be able to do the things that we love, you know, especially if we're not working anymore, or we're working less. We've got more time on our hands, maybe more money, less responsibility, if we've got families and things.

But I tell you what, like if you can make a choice now to do something that challenges you within what works for you, like as you said, like we're not we're not lifting weights, as if our life depends on it every single day. You'll get sick, you'll get injured, you'll be too sore, you won't ever want to go back. But find your place to start, or you will be in a world of pain or a lot of regret down the track if you don't have the muscle mass,

or you trip and you break a bone. And you know, we know that the morbidity associated with a broken hip. I think it's like a twelve month Within twelve months of breaking hip, a lot of people die. It's frightening and I just think I'm not going to be there. I'm going to keep rocking up to CrossFit. I mean, I had felt a little pop dead lifting. What day

is it? It's Thursday, Monday, and I'm like, oh crap, wow, And you know I've had to adjust what anyway, it's just irritated disc I'll be fine, But like I keep just rocking up. I keep just showing up. And that's what a lot of the women when we chat chat chat during the day, we're like, we didn't feel like it. We were too tired, you know, perimenopause, menopause, late nights, whatever. Just keep showing up, do what you can. Keep the

consistency and then you reap the benefits of it. But man, oh man, it frightens me to think of the people that are very comfortable now you know what life, you know, the kind of the two parts life would go down, you know, over the over the years and decades to come. It's we've got control, now we've got to use it.

not doing that anymore. Fuck it. Like there are certain things that are not pleasant, that are not fun that we just do because in our brain or in our mindset, there is no get out of jail card with that, Like, this is just what I do. I feed my kids, I clean my kids, I protect them, I look after them, I do everything that and whether or not it's easy or hard is irrelevant because it's not optional. It's not optional.

Now imagine if we could take that mindset. It's not optional to do things that for us were empowering and transformative and would make us fucking awesome. But when it comes to ourselves, we have this capacity and I'm generalizing everybody, so this may not be you, but we have this you know, tendency or propensity to go. I'll start Monday, which becomes fucking a three year internal dialogue. Then Monday

never comes. Yeah, because it's what we're really saying is I'm not doing it now, and its perpetual soon Like when mate, when soon? When sorry? Soon? It doesn't matter When I see some of my mates. It's never now, it's always soon, and then I've had more, you know. I had a friend of mine died last year. I don't want to mention his name, but he died four days after I saw him. He was very smart. We

had dinner. We used to have dinner once a month, and I, yeah, I always worried about him because he was one of those geniuses or genie that you and I spoke about at the top of the show. And he just never really looked after himself. And every time I'd seen him, he looked unhealthier and unhealthier. I'm like, mate, I love you, Please please do something. And yeah, we

had dinner. We used to catch up once a month and I, yeah, I got a message three days later or four days later, and yeah, And it's just like And I've had many friends over the years who have you know, some of them that's been unavoidable, of course, But obviously when you're sixty one, there's been a lot of people in your life who have died along the way. Yeah,

I would more than half of them. It's been somewhat self induced, you know, And because of just twenty thirty forty years of fucking terrible choices and behaviors and lifestyle and and I just I don't want to say I don't want to see that happen to anyone, like, let alone, you know, the people I love, but just anyone like because it's you know, and of course there's no guarantee of anything, but you know, there's so much that we can do to manage ourselves optimally if we can get

over our resistance to resistance.

The time flies when we are not able to bring our attention to the present moment regularly. And something that's hard to do and it is uncomfortable to do, is to stop and reflect because we can busy ourselves all day every day, we can do things for others. We can you know, keep ourselves occupied and not have to

think about hard things. But in it, you know, five ten, fifteen minutes set aside just to kind of reflect on, well, what do I want and what decisions am I making that I don't feel good about that I'd like to

make change with. You know, I know a lot of people are giving up the booze, a lot of people are making changes, you know, around their drinking habits, and I don't know, I just look, I mean, gosh, I mean, I'm you know, there are things that like I'm actually seeing a nutritionist towards the end of this month because I know I'm a vegetary, I'm a pescatarian, but I don't eat the way I know I really need to to really nourish myself because of what I don't eat.

And so I'm like, you know what, I'm fifty, I really need to get on top of this, Like I can't. It's you know, if not now when kind of thing. And so I know what to do, and I know I could, you know, I know what to do. I just I think I just want to have accountability, be responsible to someone, have someone to keep coming back to. I also want to talk about supplementation and all of

those sorts of things. But yeah, I really like that we've been able to talk about this today because I hope that this might just be the episode where there's a listener going right, that's me. I'll put my hand up. We can all put a hand up and say, look, you know, there's something I'd like to do differently, but we can't keep putting it off. We just have to

add it in. Start small. But we have to know where we want to start first, and once you've kind of got a good understanding of why that's important to you, not for other people, not because you want to put it on social media, not because it sounds impressive. What do you want to do for you that will help fulfill something that's missing in your life. I hope that

this is the episode that really makes a difference. And I hope too that when it does make a difference, that your DM harps and let him know.

practical way. What is interesting is we had I'm not exactly sure, but it's around three hundred people go, right, I'm in seven days, I'm in, I'm doing it. And I would say in the seven days, one hundred and fifty people dropped off. Now think about think about that. Maybe a little less, but yeah, I find and by the way, there's no criticism. This is just not this is what fascinates me. Like, I am curious. I'm like, here's a guy that you follow because the only way

that you got involved is because you follow me. You choose to listen to me and read me and follow me. And then and you listen to me. I guess because you want to think do be better on some level, because I'm a personal development, human behavior, self helpy psychology guy. Right, So I'm guessing you listen not because I'm fucking hilarious. Although that's a good reason because I'm fucking out there just kidding, but because people want to change in some way.

So then you go, all right, well, here's the thing you can get involved in. It's not hard. It's not hard. There's fifteen different options. Some of them are physical, some of them are not. You don't need to leave home, you don't need to be a bloody astrophysicist to figure it out. And some of them you can do as little as three minutes a day. There's fourteen hundred and forty minutes in a day. You can do as little as three minutes a day. Some of them are up

to an hour or more. It's up to you. But it's all optional. And three hundred or so people when I'm in I'm doing it, and then you're like, oh, less than half, Like we're probably about one fifty give or take. We'll sign in today. Today's the last day of the is it today? Yeah? Thursday is the last day, day seven of the seven, right, So the deal is

every day. People who've done it, Jody, they go to the page, so you project Facebook page, and they underneath the post where I've got a basically a white board drawing that says day one, day, two day, whatever, So up today as day seven. Check in underneath that they just put at the very least they write completed. That's their accountability. And then if they want they can write what they learned or what they did or ask someone else a question. And we've literally gone from three hundred

to one fifty in a week. And so this is I mean, this is the thing. And like I said, no judgment there everybody. That's just data. That's not an opinion, that's data. So for me, it is wow, what has to happen. The program's free, The program's easy. Every day there's a video from me that's also free, where there's information, inspiration,

education every day. There's a program that honestly takes me about an hour to design the day before because I need to really think it through because such a broad cross section of humans involved. Yeah, I mean this is the thing that I don't think the challenge for you or I mean your job and my job in a way is educate, in form inspire. Maybe and this is going to sound really like I'm throwing you and me under the bus, But it's not the key. Like it's

not the key, because if it was the key. People would only need to listen or read once and they'd be fucking doing it. What fascinates me is not can I talk well? Can I share good ideas and stories? Because I can do that. I don't think I'm the best, but I can do it. What fascinates me is how the fuck do I help people to genuinely help themselves and to stop being the person who's perpetually saying either

literally or metaphorically, not now but soon. That's the you know, It's like, have a look think about in the last twenty years. I'll shut up after this and let you talk.

How much has obesity and overweight and poor health and and all you know, diabetes and blood pressure and insulin resistance and all of those things has gone through the roof at the same time as has research and information and education and weight loss books and fat loss books and nutrition and ex like, we've got more information and education and research than ever and more people like you and me like voices crying in the wilderness. Yet things

aren't going backwards. And if I was really throwing myself under the bus, I would put up my hand and I will and go, hey, everyone, I'm not the fucking answer. And I'm going to say at the same time, you are the answer. On planet you, you are the problem and you are the solution because only you can get in your way. Yes, there'll be other variables, I get that, but beyond that, like nobody's making you stay in bed, nobody's making you eat cake, nobody's making you have a

good or a bad attitude. Nobody's making you avoid that decision or make that decision. Nobody's making you go to the gym or avoid the gym. Right, Like, ultimately, how do you I mean, I know you don't have an answer because I don't know. Maybe you do. Like what happens next after all the information and inspiration?

information lands for people they're inspired. Yes, I want that, absolutely but at the end of the day, there's no one coming to check the scoresheet, there's no one coming to check your homework. There's there's it comes. It comes down to an intrinsic motivation. But I think we all need to have a reason. We all need to look for and find and name the reason for making change. But you know, we also know, Craig, that some people will have a terminal diagnosis and can be told you

drink another drop of alcohol, your liver is gone. You don't give up smoking, you don't change your diet. If you don't do these things. These are the things you can do, and this will prolong your life. You'll be healthier, you'll be happy, you might even you know, live an indefinite amount of time. People still won't make change. It is perplexing. But we can only look at this through

the lens that we each have. And that's a product of our upbringing, the way we've been raised, the way we've been taught to look at the world, and the way we've been to ought to think, and our experiences. And I think just some some people just feel hopeless. And I think because it takes time, you know, I think I think of the person who is really struggling with their weight. And I did work on a when I was an exercise physiologist, I worked on the Phoenix program.

I was the lead x FIZZ for a group of twelve people who were obese and was supported with x FIZZ with psychology with the doctor dietitian all all of the pieces of kind of like the weight loss puzzle that was fully supported and well connected with us, and we spent a lot of time together. And I remember one of the participants telling me how and she'd she'd

been a victim of sexual abuse. She she had a self loathing, a really you know, a really really difficult life, and you know, she said she'd sometimes go and she'd buy all of these things at the market that would you add to the weight problem. But she'd thrown a nice berg lettuce to kind of as if to kind of say to the person at the register, Hey, I still do eat some healthy food, because it was just

so embarrassing to have to purchase it. And she shared a lot of the challenges that she was facing around even just wiping herself when she would go to the toilet, tying her shoelaces, having sex, all sorts, of things that were really challenging in a really big body, and the thing about going from there to a healthier place, it takes a lot of work and it takes a lot of time, and it's hard to kind of see the progress and get that reward for the effort. And you know,

I think that that's one of the things. And when I used to work as a pet, I'd say, look, you know, I'd get it. They wouldn't think I would get it because I was always in a very you know, ectomorphic kind of body. But it takes a long time for it to come on. It's going to take a long time for it to come off. And want it to be sustainable, but sometimes I think it it's just this idea that you can't compete yourself yesterday to today, when you've gone for a walk or you've changed. It's

got to be about the long game. And we're in a life in an environment where we just want those quick rewards. Everything's at our fingertips and we want that quick kind of feel good reinforcement. And you know, there's so many factors that do kind of roll into these challenges, but you know in my mind that there's some of them.

it's complicated. It's complicated. Like when I go one hundred and fifty people jumped out, I'm not saying they're bad

or weak. I'm saying I'm interested in that. I'm curious, you know, and that Yeah, look, I think sometimes for whatever reason, like and even I mean, at the risk of me banging on about me, but everyone knows, like I was in there out of shape until I was about thirty five, and I already owned three gyms, four gym by the time I was and I was still eating shits and lying about and you know, like like a little bloody squirrel just heading off with my I

was going to say, my nuts, that sounds bad, heading off with my whatever at my little snacks that I wouldn't let people see because I didn't want people to know what was really going on. And what was really going on was I was eating shit that I would tell other people not to eat because I didn't have I didn't have it together, you know. So it is indeed complicated and multi dimensional. It's emotional, it's psychological, it's

it's physiological. I feel this was I don't know if we helped anyone, but I feel I was really interested in this chat.

the first awareness is the first step to change. Just even just reflect what, Okay, you've pulled out of the challenge, no judgment, just reflect on why why did you start? What? What what were you hoping to get out of it? Why did you stop? You know, I recently made a change Craig. My boys play cricket. My husband and my son play cricket, and every Saturday I was kind of like, and at daughter is off and off socializing and things.

And because I'm running the house, doing all the uber driving for the kids and sort of juggling a lot of balls. There's a lot of women listening, will understand, plus running my own business and all of that, I was using Saturday to catch up on work, right, And I thought, then it just occurred to me. I didn't realize a couple of weeks ago he was in a final and I was like, really felt so much regret that I wasn't there, And I thought, what am I doing?

Like the work can wait. He's sixteen, he's an adult, He's eighteen next May. I don't have that much, you know, I've got one more main summer with him, probably before he's driving. And like my motivation, even though like it helps me catch up, I get more of my ducks in the same pond, never in a row, but I kind of it does help me. But I'm like, what's

more important here? And I think sometimes if we can face the reality of the situation and the decisions, like I thought, I don't feel good about this at all. I feel pretty shit about this actually, because my parents are always at my sport. Peter is at his own game, but our son is at a different field because they play separately. So I'm thinking, oh, the boys are at

cricket together, but they're not. And so I mean I sat in my I took the dog for a huge walk and then sat in my car watching a game a couple of weeks ago for three hours and he didn't even get a bat. So I sat there for three hours and didn't get to see. But I'm like, you know what, I Sometimes we have to make sacrifices. We have to think, right, what can I let go of to make room for something else? Because what if I was to put it in a hierarchy, what is

more important? And so perhaps I do think. I do think it's been such a good conversation and it's got you and I thinking, and I think other people will be reflecting in their own way as well.

a reason or an excuse? Because I can't speak on behalf of you or anyone else, but at least fifty percent of the time in my life when I'm calling something a reason, it's not a reason. It's not it's just me trying to because if something's a reason, then it's legit and I don't have to change it's legit. This is real. There's no way I could have done this.

It's not the you know. But then when I kind of go, okay, am I kind of just bullshitting myself to make myself feel better about what I'm not doing. I don't know if anyone else wants to use that, but for me, it's a good litmus test to kind of lean into that is and there's been times when I couldn't. You know. It's like I spoke the other day about there's a book that I really want to write that's just sitting on my you know, the top shelf in my brain or right up the back. But

I just genuinely don't have time at the moment. I want to write it, but I've got so many things going on. So that's a reason. Like, hey, Craig, whilere you're doing a PhD and seven podcasts a week and two or three corporate gigs a week, and you know, looking after your parents who are in their mid eighties and doing all these other things and training every day for an hour and a half, it's probably writing a book. Is this is not the time? But there'll be a time.

I just don't want to do it. And I'm trying to explain to myself and anyone else who will listen, why this is not an excuse.

can still walk. But yeah, there are so many other things where you know, you got me thinking too about Netflix. Like I love Netflix. I like, as an anxious person who's very busy, it is just my time to just switch off. It's very relaxing for me. I look forward to watching certain shows. But you know, when we think about the things that we also want to do, you know, sometimes there are places in our day where we can fit that one little extra thing in just by letting

go of a little bit of something else. And I think that this all or nothing mentality can often get in the way as well, this idea that I can't go to the gym and do a class three times a week, I can't train ninety minutes a day lifting

weights like Carps does. But when we kind of realize that, you know, it's we can start to alter the way we think about ourselves and how we see ourselves, our identity, just by doing something small consistently, and the idea of you know, when I was fasting a couple of days a week, Craig and I'd go to CrossFit and I'd be just exhausted, and I wouldn't be able to perform well, and I was just not fueling myself properly, I don't think,

and really struggling. And again, you know, I read online somewhere it might have even been Adam Grant said, the process of just showing up, even though you just don't feel like you've got much, just reinforces this identity. I'm a person who looks after myself. I'm a person who moves my body every day. And so I guess my invitation to anyone listening is think of that big thing.

Nothing big is achieved in a day, but like you and your PhD and man, I'm looking forward to our celebration when you hand that thing in such a good feeling, hand over those thess, over that counter, leather bound. It's going to be a really big moment. Craig. It's like it is. The time will pass anyway. We've both said that before. You're going to be sixty one, doctor Craig Harper, and you would have been sixty one anyway. I mean

you are sixty one anyway, So think about it. Set aside some time to reflect, think what is it I'm putting off? Why am I doing it? Isn't an excuse? Is it a reason? And how small can I start? Break it down? If the first step feels too big, break it down? Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited for listeners, Craig, because I think this is really it's really a conversation worth having. Wasn't what we planned on talking about today, But I'm so glad we landed here.

go in. And also, like yesterday, I got up at three thirty, right, I started work at three thirty, so, and I finished last night at maybe eight thirty, right, But I do you know, But then there'll be times where I go, oh, it's one o'clock. I'm going to lie in my bed for an hour and watch something stupid. But I can because I've already worked six seven, eight hours. Right. But I did a podcast a few weeks ago which I think is a night that you will like to

lean into. And the title of the podcast was an Unambitious Life. I feel like we're all just pushed with ambition and drive and crushing and grinding and killing, and like does that equal better? Does that equal happy? Which is what we're going to talk about. Does that equal fulfillment and my speculation, my theory, your honor is that no, often not sometimes, But like, I think it's good to have goals and a dream and all of those things. But I also think sometimes you go, you know, what

what if this year? What if this month I'm just in autopilot? What if this month I'm just like, I'm not fucking striving and grinding and hustling, and I'm not ambitious and I'm not killing it. And what if I'm just fucking grateful. What if I'm just in the middle of my really good life and my really good relations chips. What if I'm just like just bobbing up and down like a little fucking thing on the water and I'm good, Like, what if I don't have to swim like a motherfucker

for the next wave. What if I just fucking bob up and down here? So let's talk about the unambitious life or that next time.