Good a team. Welcome back to part two of the Conversation with the Lovely Leila and I. If you haven't listened to part one, you might want to go back and do that, or you could just jump in. Of course they're different, they're different subjects, but probably this to part one and then this hope you enjoy it? Ready, set go, all right, let's let's open another door. Tell us about farmer once a while? Do you get sick of?
Do you get sick of? Like when I read all the shit that you've done, I'm like, how do I make this not the same?
How?
Like? Oh, so you know, tell us about your experience on like whatever you want to tell us or not tell us. I guess we can't talk to you. We can't have a chat with at least mentioning that because my audience is going to want to know a little bit. Did you love it? Did you hate it? Was it a fucking nightmare? How do you reflect upon it now?
Yeah?
It was? It was a really freaking weird experience. Like and I was a baby when I was on it.
I was twenty one, like I've had you know, my emotional intelligence was shitz.
How old are you now?
I'm thirty six.
Okay, wow, that was a while ago.
Yeah, yes, it was a while ago. And I went on it.
My dad said he disowned me if I went on it, which is hilarious. And I really thought, oh shit, I shouldn't do it. But my nan was the one that actually convinced me to do it, and she's been, you know, a huge role model in my life. But she said, what's the best lesson you're ever going to get in life?
Experience?
So why not go and do it and experience and you'll you'll learn from it. So I was like, oh, okay, Radio, I'll go do it.
And it was Yeah.
I think it was probably one of the most emotional traumatizing experiences of my life.
Really, ah good. I'm glad I opened the door.
How so well because I was just so impressionable, like and I just remember the first time because I didn't my best.
Friend nominated me for it, put me in for it.
So my same best friend that I grew up through school and she's on the Australian story with me, like we've been best friend since.
I one that facilitated your cheating. Let's be honest.
No, it wasn't cheating. She just put my name down.
No, No, I mean the one at school who used to the answer.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Sorry, oh that kind of cheating.
Ah h yeah, that kind of cheating. Yeah, she Yeah. So I thought I'll go on it.
And I remember seeing the person who i'd been matched with, the farmer, walking down the stairs. That's the first time I'd ever seen him, and like, I just thought to myself instantly, my inter like your intuition just said to me, you don't like him, like he's.
Not for you.
But somehow the whole experience, they convinced me that I did because they'd already pre constructed a story for the show, because we were going to be like a kind of happily ever after couple.
Hang on, how on? How on? So are you telling me that they choreographed that and that's got to be the outcome?
Basically yeah, yeah.
Oh my god.
And you know, I don't know if that's how they still do it now or whatever, but it's Saint God, it wasn't before, like it was all before social media for me, because like we would have been eaten alive really because he picks me at the end. But we were never we were never a couple, Like I went and hung out with him for a week or so between to see, you know what, you know, if we were compatible, and we.
Just clearly weren't. We were never going to be anything.
Like he was a really party, party kind of guy, and and I just, yeah, am not like I don't get me wrong, I love a good time, but I wasn't. I couldn't keep up with his level.
Of partying, right, and.
Yeah, and then I was just you know, he was he's not a farmer now, Like he grew up on a farm and we were. It was on his parents' farm, right, I mean his sisters and her partner actually are the you know, ones that run the farm. So a lot of these farmers that are on Farmer Wants a Wife, they're not actually farmers. They've they're probably using someone else's farm or Yeah, it's kind of a bit you so interesting.
Yeah, calling back to Curtains, so many disappointed people.
No, like on a few episodes ago or seasons ago, he was a builder and he wasn't he They just put him on a farm and made him look like a farmer. So like, I think they need to kind of change the title to country Boy Wants a wife, not farmer, just like getting country boys that aren't you know, they can and some.
Of them have even like that have ended up together.
They've actually stopped working in agriculture and they've moved to the city to be with the person that they've ended up with. So yeah, and they took all of our phones off as while we were filming, so I couldn't really contact anyone to sort of run what was going through my head with someone else, to sort.
Of clarify what I was feeling was relevant or a different thing. So yeah, it was a very very interesting experience.
But then had I not gone on it, I wouldn't have then gone home the day after we wrapped and had our you know, rap party and everything and met my now husband.
So from all things, something good comes.
And I made some really good friends out of it, Like I ended up living with one of the other like a contestant on the film after in Geelong and different things. So yeah, some great things have come out of it.
It seems like it's sure and your husband, isn't it. Yeah, you and him are really different, really different, and I think that's maybe that's part, not all, but part of the magic.
Right, Yeah, Yeah, like he's he's quite happy being here on the farm, and you know, he's sixth generation here and he doesn't mind me going and living and.
Traveling the world and doing things.
And he's just you know, he's played at the same footy club his whole life. And yeah, so we're very different. He doesn't say a lot, and I say too much.
I was surprised to hear. Now, we can cut any of this out, but let's just keep rolling. But I was surprised to hear. Was I surprised, not majorly, but a little bit surprised here because you're so happy, go lucky, so you know, cheerful. You're probably not a complete extrovert, but you seem like you are. That you suffered from anxiety and depression or you do periodically, and you were I don't know if you were or still are medicated.
And tell us as much or as little as you want to about that, Leila, because I think that's kind of broadly relevant, broadly relevant.
Yeah, and I guess I'm probably an introvert disguised as an extrovert, Like you really know me. I actually I probably like I shouldn't say it, but like I hate people, I like my own company. I like my horses. That's my meditation time. But I don't find it hard to match other people's energy, you know. And I don't drink, so I don't. I haven't drank for probably seven years now.
Wow, I reckon, you're I reckon. You're an ambivert. Have you ever heard of that? No?
What's that?
An ambivert is someone who can I reckon. That's me as well. It's like I can do both. I can do what we're doing. I can talk to you, I can or I can stay for three days in my house by myself and just write shit and study and go out and get a coffee, come home. I don't need to talk to anyone. It's like you can do both.
But you're probably leaning. You know. The funny thing about introversion extraversion, it's really a scale and it's not like most people are clearly an introvert or clearly an extrovert. But I think you, yeah, you're probably closer. Especially I was listening to the when you won that award. You were terrified to go up and accept like apparently you were terrified of public speaking. Well that's that's introversion.
Yeah, yeah, And I sort of a way that I pushed myself to get over that that terrified of being a being in public and people looking at me. And if he's like I was just sort of kid that would walk into a shop and if I couldn't find something, I'd rather walk out.
Thank some arks for where it was.
Wow.
So when I moved to Sydney for UNI, I knew how to get to UNI the shop, like the grocery store, work and home, and that was it. I didn't go off that path for like six months because it was that was my comfort zone. And then I thought, I'm not going to get anywhere doing this. How do I really throw it? And I'm one of those crazy people now because I just got such a thrill out of it.
Throwing myself in the deep end.
And I wouldn't suggest this be for everyone because it's kind of like a bit frowned upon now. But I got into modeling and particularly sports and bikini modeling.
Wow wow.
And if I could get up on stage in front of people and beauty pageants, if I could get up on stage in front of people and walk around and start to just forget about the fact that people were looking at me, I was like I can do anything. And that's how I broke down that barrier of just being so terrified of people seeing me and looking at me. It was just going, okay, well, if I can't get up on stage and talk about people, I'm going to go like to the.
Extreme and I'm going to be on stage in a bikini.
Wow. When did you now? I know? Correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm recalling I think two thy and seventeen y one Missus Australia. Firstly, what is missus Australia.
Oh, yeah, no, that's funny.
So I'd done a few pageants with friends before that when I was in Sydney, because it's just fun. Everyone loves to get dressed up and get in address and wear makeup and look pretty like we're all doing it. It was like, it's kind of thing at my girlfriend's and I do just because we could.
It was just too But that's just Saturdays. But we'll get to it later.
Yeah. But yeah.
Then when I started the my husband, I started our non for profit. We're trying to work out ways of getting it into the media and promoting mental health in farming communities, and I thought this is good of a platform as any I know how to speak now, like I've done it before, how can we do it? So I entered missus Australia and like I'd never won anything before because I'm not as poised and as professional as
all the other girls. And yeah, probably accidentally drop the F bomb in a speech somewhere.
Yeah, and you probably shouldn't wear those RM Williams on stage. I don't know if that's going to be a handicap.
Yeah.
Well yeah, but then it was very Australian and that's why they picked me because I was what they see the quin Central Australia.
My accent paid off for once.
Excuse my ignorance, But is it What I was going to say, is that a beauty pageant is what is it judged on? That's a much better question.
Yeah.
So it's more judged on your platform that you speak on behalf and how well you promote it and how well you advocate for it, because they want to help. It's a platform to try and get attention for your platform. And I think again it comes back to authenticity, Like I just didn't go and pick a charity because I wanted to do the competition. I had my cause and went and did the competition because I need I wanted to promote what we were doing.
So yell us about that. What is You're not for profit?
So it's called Live Rural And it kind of all just started when we wanted to run an event to bring people together in our little farming community. So we started an event called Mellow in the Yellow. Hence I love yellow. It's my favorite color since I.
Saw that great, big, that big square where everyone, yeah, in the middle of all of that what are those Excuse my ignorance, what are those yellow flowers called? Again? Well, that's fucking that image. When I was looking at them, I'm like, what is that? And II lean and I went, how gorgeous is that?
Yeah?
And like, so explain to people what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
So it's like we growkenola on the farm or in this district we have it, so it's on a different farm every year, and it's quite a lot of planning because whoever's going to host it, they've got to make a square in the middle of their canola crop where we're going to have a lawn. And when the canole in flower in October, we put a marquee in the middle of it. We get a band, we bust everyone
to and from the event. It's free drinks and food for the day, and we have a guest speaker come and speak about mental health and the importance of you know, looking after our mental health in farming communities because it's such a busy, you know, labor intensive, demanding lifestyle, and a not a lot of farmers have time to sort of take time and in that time, like we're in now, we're in drought, Like my husband's gone at five o'clock in the morning and doesn't come into like eleven twelve
at night. They're the times when we need they need help, but not necessarily help because they're suffering mentally. It's just the fatigue that then has a flow on effect to your mental health, or even just the financial pressure that then flows onto your mental health. So getting them all off farm in one place to enjoy themselves and celebrate the amazing work that farmers do while kind of also reminding them, you know, take a little bit of time to look after your mental health as well.
This is maybe a weird question, but what is the attraction like from the outside, Like I grew up in the country, not on a farm but near farm, so I kind of get it. And my mum literally grew up on a farm, so I'm a little bit more familiar with it. But what's the attraction because it just seems like being a farmer just seems like yeah, I know, like fuck, it's so hard and like what you just discribe. My husband leaves at five, gets home sometimes at midnight.
Well that's seventeen hours. Some people do that in a week.
Yeah, And I've like, you know, I've always thought, you know, it's an identity, You're born to be a farmer, all that sort of thing. And it's so now that I've got a son, and my son is just it is in his DNA, Like I can't I can't explain it the way he knows things that at nine year old shouldn't know like it should but it's just instinctively give me an ex so like just how to like when we're getting the sheep in, he just knows where to.
Move, how to move around them.
Or is just he's like even just with his toys, like he doesn't play with any other toys except farm toys, and he's setting up his own farm with toys, and he knows where he systematically knows where he's got to put everything so it economically works properly.
And it's just all he thinks, dreams does.
Like, it's just you're like, wow, okay, it's in his DNA to be a fan.
Well, isn't your husband a sixth generation farmer?
Yeah? Yeah, so my husbands I'm pretty.
Sure he's going to be generation seven.
Yeah yeah. And like if you were doing if you were a farmer, for the money, you you you just wouldn't do it. There's no money in it. You do it because they love it and it's their identity.
And I think that's what a lot of older farmers struggle with is when the son comes home takes on the farm, It's like, what is their identity now? Because they've always they'd rather a dead farmer than be a human being not farming.
Wow. Wow, that is a profound they'd rather be a dead farmer than not a farmer or what So when you've grown up, obviously you had your own. By the way, are you still good to keep going for a while? Are you ghausted? Are you sick of me?
I'm good? How long we've been here?
We've been here an hour?
Good?
Good, we're gone, all right, We're going all right. You got those good bloody country jeans. Energy. So when you're grown up as a kid, I mean there were peaks and troughs, there were good days and bad days, there were struggles.
And we were talking about yeah, my medication.
Well, no, I want to know in terms of now you're a mum, now you've got your own kids, do you do you have a particular parenting style or does the way that you experience life as a kid does that influence how much you lean in and how much you get out of the way with your kids development?
Yeah, I guess I want my kids to grow up being kids, Like I don't want to expose them to the world that you know, kids grow up in now too much. I just want them to be able to play and be innocent. And we're very lucky where we live that with like we'd called what you call a bush school. It's still a normal primary school, but it's a bush school. There's only like twenty eight in the whole primary school, and we're you know, they're out of town.
All the kids know each other, they all play together, They've got chucks and you know, all these other things they play in the sandpit like the year six kids are still kids. They you know, Santa Claus hasn't been ruined for my kids because the bigger kids know that. You know, we all we all believe in Santa like to be a nine year old and still fully believe those little elves are real. Like it's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Not only nine year olds still believe that those little
elves are real. I want them to just be like, you know, we we don't. My kids don't have an iPad each. We've got like their school tablet, but that when they get home from school, Like, that's not They're allowed an hour on the TV a day.
That's it.
Other than that, they've got to be outside playing or helping us, or in their room playing Like I just don't like this whole idea of devices. And you know, some people say, oh, you're putting your kids at a disadvantage because they're not, you know, learning how to use the devices. Trust me, when they want to use it, they'll they'll learn it pretty quick.
Really, people say that that you that is such a fucking weird perspective to say that you are disadvantaging your kid when you have a look at the evidence for what's going on with mental health and screen addiction and fuck and hell, there's so much there's so much tough stuff going on at the minute with kids, and.
And just knowing that mental health is in my family and my husband's side of the family genetically, that we need to be more aware of it with our kids. So that like, and that's where I was really lucky that my dad was really open about his mental health
when we were kids. Like I remember going to horse events in the truck, and you know, we'd be sitting in the truck with dad driving, and we'd just talk about the world and you know, all these the questions we'd fire at my dad, like you know, about the
universe and oh there are aliens. And we'd have deep philosophical conversations with my dad, and then he'd talk about, you know, his mental health and how you know, he'd like he ran away when he was twenty one because he just couldn't handle the pressure of life and he just one day just got on a bus and just went to wa to clear his head.
And how he just always.
Said, you've got to look after your head because in like his era, it was you were crazy if you had something, you know he had and he was just and I think he's just problem was that he was just so self aware and people around him weren't.
Now, am I right? And remembering your dad has bipolar and got diagnosed a while ago, Am I right?
Yeah?
Yeah, but he's a height like I guess he's been like that's what they've labeled him as. But he's a highly functioning, normal person. Like if you met him, it's like me, you think I'm like a happy, bubbly person, Like no one would ever know Dad's the same. No one would ever Like, I think no one really knew until the Australian story came out in our hometown why dad stopped drinking at age thirty five.
They just thought he just made his random decision to stop drinking.
But he seems really good now. See he's like on the Austrains, seemed great, like switched on, Like, yeah, you're right, you would not have a clue.
No.
What I loved about your dad is he goes, yeah, I reckon, I'm I'm about ninety eight percent right, I'm about about ninety eight percent good, And I'm like, yeah, yeah good. I wish I wish my number was that.
High God who knows. My dad just thought that was a piss because they're like, you're about fifty percent ching.
Like yeah, yeah, you're getting ahead of yourself chair absent. But you tell the world that if you want to.
But yeah, and.
What about what about you now? Because I mean, you have to be a mum, you have to be a business woman, you have to be a wife, you have to be a daughter, You've got to be this you know, business person. How do you like, what do you need to do for you to manage you to look after you mentally, emotionally, physically.
Yeah, and sometimes I probably don't manage it the best, like I sort of you know, Dad always said to us, you know, if you've got to play sport, because that's how your release a like that was my dad's answer. Just sport, play sport, physical, get it all out and keep your brain, keep your brain busy, because when your brain's not busy, that's when you start to go down a hole and think about things and not you know, logically start going what's my purpose?
Like what am I doing with my life? So to keep busy was his answer.
And sometimes I don't manage that very well because I do get myself too busy, and I can kind of get to a point of like I need a rest, I'm burning out. But I do need to be busy and have something happening all the time. It's just I've got to get better at managing how busy and asking for help from people to come in and help me.
So now I'm actually starting to build a team of people around me that I can be like, Okay, I can't do everything, can you do this job for me now, or you know, instead of just thinking I can do everything on my own. But yeah, keeping that busy, but I do need my time away from everything, and that's my horses. And as you know, cliches that might sound like they're my meditation, because when I'm riding a horse,
I can't have any other distractions. I can't be on my phone when I'm riding a horse, I can't be thinking about something else. I've just got to be with that horse present in that moment because it has its own brain as well, and I have to be ready for whatever it throws at me at the same time. So that's just my sort of switch off time, and I you know, in an ideal world, i'd love to ride every day, but at the moment, I'm just a bit too busy, So I try and get two or
three rides in a week, Right, I can go. And I guess that's what meditation is for some people, and that's where they get their time.
I've heard people say dancing. They go and dance.
Because that's a time when they've got to move their body. They can't be on the phone, they can't be doing anything. They're only thinking about what they're doing in that moment while they're dancing.
And I guess that's what sport is as well.
Yeah. Yeah, And it's funny because like different things work for different people. You know, some people get on a horse and it's like, oh my god, it's like therapy, it's like connection. It's like all of a sudden, your parasympathetic nervous system, you know, the calm. Other people would be terrified to get on a horse.
Yeah, and it's something got to do from you know, a young age to feel safe doing it too. It's not like you just go, oh, thirty.
Six and I'm going to go and ride a horse.
It's funny I talk about I talk about motorbikes because I grew up on motorbikes and I ride more than I drive, right, So I've got four motorbikes, and if I've got to go most of the time, if I'm commuting anywhere, it's on a bike, like eighty percent of the time bike, twenty per cent car. It's funny because when I'm on a bike, which it seems like stupid,
but I'm relaxed. Yeah, it's like, yeah, but you're on a motorbike and it's Melbourne and it's traffic, and I go, yeah, can't explain it, but like I feel, all is that one. I'm like, you know, I'm still aware and alert and I'm still careful, but I endure. Like when I get in a car, it's just a thing that takes me from A to B and it's it's good and I'm grateful, but I don't go, oh fuck, yeah, I'm in the car. Oh god, this is so good. In the car, I'm like, yeah,
it's just a car. But when I'm on a bike, even I've got like a shitty little bike, and I've got some great bikes, but even if I'm on the shitty crappy bike, have the best fucking time ever. Now I'm just realizing that we haven't even spoken about your film, which is probably the biggest thing, or one of the biggest thing that you've done, other than crank out a couple of kids and marry a good bloke and you know,
I mean there's that too. So you made a film called Just a Farmer, and you have no right to make a film. No, no, I don't think you understand how hard it is to make a film and to take that idea and turn it into a reality. I think one of the people on your doco or the Australian Story said one in seven trillion, which was the name of your show. The show was called, the movie was called Just a Farmer, tell us how the fuck that happened and tell us a little bit about that journey.
Yeah, and it is quite just one of those things where people say, like, how did it happen. I'm like sometimes I'm like, I don't even fucking know how it happened, but anyway, it happened.
And by the way, everyone, it's not a documentary, it's a move. It's a movie.
Yeah, yes, it's a drama.
And yeah, I guess for me growing up, you know, I it is it is my identity and I come back to it a lot, and I don't know if it annoys people, but yeah, but growing up and I still am dyslexic, movies were what I connected to the world through. Like, I loved movies. I love watching them. I love going on the emotional rollercoasters that they gave me. And some people have that with books, but I just
never got that opportunity. So, you know, that's how I learned about the world and how I got introduced to different cultures or ideas or things outside of my little community and group and comfort zone was through movies.
Like I'd walk down to.
The video store every every sad day, get my video and come home with my chocolate paddle pop and watch it.
Yeah, they were fifty cents back then too.
Well, videos pos pattle pops. You have to sell a kidney to get a paddle pop those days. Yeah, they're not giving that shit away.
And they're getting smaller.
But anyway, so that's where like I've always come on streets do better.
Yeah, Yeah, just been a massive movie lover.
And then we're during COVID, we were watching you know, everyone was watching series movies. That's where we were getting our human connection, Like it was a topic of conversation like some of the TV series that got traction during COVID You're like, what was wrong with us all? Like what were we thinking? Like Tiger King, like how we all had to watch it? Right?
But it was so ridiculous. It was stupid. If it came out now, no one could watch it.
That's very true. That was very fucking random, that thing. And that was not only did people watch it, it was the biggest thing on Netflix for a while, Like that was massive.
Yeah, you just kind of got addicted to the ridiculousness of it, Like it was, yeah, we gave this psychopath traction anyway.
So you went, if they can get exposure.
Yeah, well, and then we found that like the Jeremy Clarkson Clarkson's Farm and my son were watching that, and my son loved it because it was the first show he'd seen on TV where his job was being celebrated, like what he loves doing was also being celebrated. And I said, my husband, this is the only farming show I've ever watched that is kind of close to what farming is actually really like like he was just blunt, you know, was so honest about not having any idea
of what it was like to farm. He was, you know, honest with his profits, Like he's like, I made forty five dollars this year or forty five pounds this year. If I wasn't a millionaire backing it, I'd have nothing, you know, so fluntly honest.
And I said, that's it.
That's how we can penetrate a different audience and stop constantly preaching to the converted through a movie. And I said, like, being a school teacher, you say to kids, do you want to watch a documentary a movie? They're going to want to watch a movie, Like to me, like, there are some really good docos out there, but for me, they're personally a bit boring. They don't take me on an emotional journey. So I was like, we have to create a story and subconsciously have the message in it.
So that's where we're like. And then I was like, we're going to make a movie.
And my husband's like, oh, yeah, whatever, off you go. So yeah, it's sort of and my stupid idea of like learning how to make a movie was to go to acting school. Like that was yeah, that was a bit of a all.
Right, hang on, like I talk to people all the time about setting goals, create a plan, create a timeline. You know, what are your KPIs, what are your resources? I mean, it's a credit to you. It's fucking amazing. I don't know if you realize, but to sit at home, like when did you have this idea? Where did you have the idea? When did you have it? When was that? What year was at?
Like was it twenty twenty one?
We're in COVID, just sitting on the couch in there watching and I was like, that's it, that's how we do it.
This is twenty one. The woman who's never acted goes, I want to make a movie twenty twenty four, the movies out and released in cinemas, and you're acting in it?
Yeah? Bit nuts? Actually, I mean.
We don't have time, but give us a little bit of the between the conceptualization and the and now he's our movie.
Yeah.
Well, I guess like I thought, I was a bit like what's his name Tarantino, Like when he first wanted to get into movies, he just thought he had to be an actor because that's all he's seen on the TV screen. But then when he went and did acting, he worked out. He hated acting, and he wanted to make movies because he couldn't be what he couldn't see. So when he's seen that there was people behind the scenes making them, he was like, that's what I want to do it.
I don't want to be And he's pretty rubbish atted anyway, so.
Or acting in them acting him, he's pretty good at making them, but yeah, rubbish out.
Yeah, So that's what I thought. I was like, I'll go and learn how to be an actor.
So I like looked up all these you know, acting schools, and it had to suit my lifestyle and so you've got your nighters and all those but that's full time.
I couldn't do that where I was.
So I found this place that had a short course and everyone said that Damian Welsh Howling's the best acting coach in Melbourne. So I was like, well, I got to get into his class and he does advanced acting for advanced actors. And I was like, well, I don't have time to start at the bottom. I've got to go straight into that one.
How do I? She did? Of course she did, Yeah, did you go. Look, I've never acted. I don't know, Dick, but I'm here you're welcome. Yeah.
Basically, well, I rang up and said did they have a spot because it was starting in a few days, and they said, oh, yeah, we'll send through your resume. We'll need to check that you've got the experience and blah blah blah, and if we've got a spot, will put you in. And so I just made up a resume like as you do fraud. Isn't that what they call it?
Yeah, well I don't think you're a but I think we could just call it fibbing.
Again, that's it fibbing.
And then they're like, oh, you need to send in a show reel, and I was like, what the fuck's a show real? So I just I was having like technical issues and whatever, and then they just said, okay, we've got a spot.
We'll let you in.
So I was like, gosh, shit, that was a bit easy. And then you turned up and then I realized I was like, shit, I'm in over my head, Like these people are all real actors, you know, going around the circle and they're all doing the actor thing. They introduced themselves and what they've done, and.
I'm going they've done some really, like they've done stuff.
Did you go farmer, wance a wife, You're welcome.
Well, I just it got to me and I kind of panicked and I went, I've done nothing.
And are they like how did you get in here? Yeah?
Well Damien was like how did you get here?
And I was like, oh, I just just put in a like resume and they said that a spot.
So they let me in.
But now we got along really well because in his words, he just goes Leela's good at acting because she gives zero f about everything, and that's like the thing I didn't. He said, I had no bad habits for him to fix, so he was just like play and b and But then I worked out there's a whole lot more to films than just the actors. So I, you know, had the script and I had a few people that read over it for me and helped me work out how you format it.
Like the first time I wrote the script, it was just in a word doc.
Didn't even know that there was a way you had to put a script together and all these programs and stuff that you can use.
So now they made life a bit easier.
And you know, some people reading my script were really like, I don't even know how Sometimes like I got a really high profile going in Hollywood to read it, and he just tore my like script to pieces. It was soul destroying, and he did what they call a pass on it and he wrote his version of the story. And I remember the first time reading it back and
I just cried. I'm like, he's massacred my story. He's written it like he's lives in Malibu his whole life life and he's trying to write a story about an Australian farmer. I was like, it's got no idea, Like he had dying dogs at the end and all like it was just so melodramatic. And I just thought, nah, like he may be a Hollywood like in one oscars for writing and things, but I was like, he doesn't know my story.
I've got to stick to my guns. So that's what the other thing.
I had to believe in the story and our mission and what we were trying to do. And got some other people to read it, and you take the good and the bad. Like some of the feedback you get you're like, oh whatever, and then some feedback you're like, yeah, that's that really makes sense, Like that will make my script better. So you've got to be good at taking criticism and actually taking it on board and changing it for the better.
And that is a really good point, right, because I think like people, everyone says they want feedback until they get feedback that and want and they're like fuck you. So yeah, well okay, well you don't want feedback then you just want praise and accolades and endorsement.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I had a mentor who at the very start, and she's a.
Novel writer. She's not a scriptwriter, but she was.
She knew more than me about writing scripts anyway.
And she said to me, you're making a film.
It's the most collaborative creative project that you're ever gonna do. If you don't want to collaborate and take on people's ideas and opinions and their creative creative perspective of the film, she's like.
Write a book, right.
And every time I didn't agree with someone in their perspective, I came back to that and thought, no, this is a collaborative project.
They want what's best.
For the film as well, like we all want it to be really good. Yes, my opinion's not always the best opinion, So go away for a couple of hours, and think on it and see their side of their perspective and work out what's best for the film. Because at the end of the day, that's what every decision came back to. It was what was best for the film and the message that we were trying to portray. And I I think that's why we ended up with such a beautiful film because there was no egos involved.
It was all about the message and the film. Like even when we interviewed people to come and work on the film, we were just straight up we just said, this isn't a career climbing venture, like we don't even know if it's going to make anything. You need to be on board for the message and have some type of personal reason for wanting to be involved. And yeah, I think that's why we were able to create something because everyone wanted it to be something beautiful.
But I think I think with that ownership thing too, like either write a book or do a film, like it's collaboration and it's not yours. It's ours.
Yeah, yeah, our.
Film, not your film. Then the moment that you start to become possessive, you kind of push people out because you want people to buy into your vision. But yeah, you're telling everybody they can't have any input. Then it's not how can they buy into the vision if it's it's you know, it's all you. So that makes complete sense.
Yeah, and like and I was just so lucky, like Simon Lindon, who's the director of the film, because you know, at the start, I thought I was going to do everything. I was even going to direct it at one point as well. I was just going to do everything. But I needed to find a director that understood the film and the message and what the people were going through.
And I went through a few directors like it was, you know, they wanted it to be melodramatic, or they added all these scenes in there, or just you know, they just didn't get the people. And just randomly it was in col Rain helping because a friend of mine sat, oh, they're doing this little shoot down here, come down here and help out, and so you can see what it's like to be on a set.
And I went down and a randomly met Simon.
I had no idea who he was at the time, and like he probably wasn't in his best state of mind when I met him either, and I asked him to read the script and he just got it because he'd been through his own own journey with mental health and it's and you know, to this day, he's still still going through it.
He's a recovering addict.
And he's quite open about that. His knees quite Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, he's good for him. Yeah. So yeah, three years with a heroin addiction.
So he's and he's been cleaned for fifteen years now, but he struggles most days, he says, but there's a beautiful soul in there.
And that made me think so.
Differently of addiction as well as in getting to know Simon and what he goes through. Like I just you know, like he probably was a bit naive because I've never been addicted to anything, like saying, oh, you know, just stop, like how can But getting to know Simon and his journey, I'm like, wow, Like it's a it's a totally different experience for that person. And yeah, like I have a whole different perspective on it now. But yeah, meeting him
was sort of very random. Yes, I've been other directors and he was just helping me on the script and giving me ideas at the time, and then one day I just sort of thought like Simon didn't anything. He hadn't been anything for a long while, and I just thought, you know what, he's the only person that gets it in this industry that I've spoke to, as like on a creative level. I'm just going to ask him to direct it. And it was so beautiful. I asked him, and he just goes my heart says yes.
Yeah.
So he came and lived with us for a few months on the farm to sort of get an understanding and meet the locals. And then when he said he got here and he met everyone, he's like, I understand it even more now, Like I understand because he found the farmer to be quite a victim when he first read it, like, you know, oh, poor him, like he's
being he's been a bit of a silk. But when he met my husband, he's like, I get it now, Like you know, when he read the script and he says, oh, I'm tired, and you know I've been working and blah blah blah, he thaught it. He sounded like I felt like the farmer was winging. But when he met Sean and he's Shan talk, He's not winging. It's just a matter of fact. This is the fact I'm tired, I haven't had sleep, blah blah blah. Yeah, working, So it was great that he came and did that, and then.
We just put it down to synchronicity.
Like I can't even explain how we found all the other people that came on and everything, but it just sort of everyone just sort of came in out of the universe at us. We had no like, I can't even explain it. It's kind of sometimes a miracle, I think, because yeah.
It's bloody incredible. I'm not going to feb and say I've watched it because I only discovered yesterday. But it's my weekend viewing. Is your movie, So I'm going to send you a message after I watch it. But where can people watch it? It's on Apple, isn't it.
Yeah, it's on Apple.
So we've just recently had it up on Apple because that was a whole new side of filmmaking that I had no idea about. Once you actually making the films the easy part. It's the distribution that's the hard party.
It's like writing a book. I've written a books. It's like, oh I wrote a book, Great, how the fuck do I sell it? Now?
Yeah? Yeah, how do you get people to see it, read it, appreciate it all these You're like, oh, that's the hard part.
And in Australia there's so many people that think they hold the key to doing that, and I had to work out how to get around those people and then do it myself because they're like, no one wants to watch a film about farmers or mental health.
Okay, thank you for that.
Thanks for your feedback. That's super nice, yer.
Yeah, next, when you I mean, I'm sure you saw bits and pieces of the film as it was under construction for one of a better term.
Do you remember when you sat down the first time and just watched the finished products start to finish.
Yeah, So it was a bit like I was a very involved producer, so like I'd be in the edit probably once or twice a week watching everything. Simon would always double check and he was very respectful of the story and it was a big collaborative project making sure everything was really authentic and what we wanted it to look.
Like, which was amazing.
And yeah, I learned like the editor is probably the most important person in putting a film together because they understand timing. You know, when something's taking too long, And I think that's where a few Australian films go wrong, is they're too long, like they sit in one like you need to keep progressing the story.
Forward all the time. And I do worry sometimes that our film starts.
A bit too slow because I hate like I personally was like, I don't want my film to be one of those films where people are sitting there going shit, like what's going to happen next? But like you want it to keep moving forward, and that's the editor's job.
So if if movie moves and keeps going really well and you engage the whole way through, the editor has a really good understanding of people's attentions and then progressing forward, the director's kind of the artistic person to make sure everyone's performance is a good or everything looks good and different things and they've got to have a good team, be a good team. And then me being the producer coming in like I had to then you know, sign off on things and make sure it was all good.
So but I do remember sitting down for the first time, we all watched like we'd watched scenes everywhere, like scenes cut together in like a zoo in different ways, but watching the whole film in one go. I kind of actually had a little bit of a mental breakdown afterwards, which was really interesting, and I.
Couldn't work out what the hell was going on.
So I rang Damien and I was like, I can't stop crying, Like what's wrong? Like I don't know what's going on. I'm not sad, I just can't stop crying. And he literally said to me, did you watch the film for the first time today?
Start to finish? And I said yeah.
And he's like, you are now processing all the feelings of Alison that you didn't deal with while you were filming.
Wow.
And he's like, your subconscious doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's not and what you experienced as your character if you really live it.
And I did some.
Of those scenes I blacked out in and I don't remember filming them. He said, your subconscious is now dealing with those emotions.
And I was like, holy shit, Okay.
Now I'm walking about that, Damien.
Sorry, Damien Welsh howling. So he was my right, right, right right.
Sorry, yep, yep, yep, yep.
That's yeah, But did you know what what was dawning on me is like, here's the here's the year nine girl who couldn't read a fucking sentence, who wrote a fucking film?
I know?
I love that.
Like if any of girls I go to went to school with ever thought of me writing a full script like something over one page, they'd be.
Like, what the fuck exactly?
You wrote something?
Do you know what else? I'm proud of you? Or we've opened the swearing door and you've come running through it with all of your own fucks. I couldn't be prouder. I dare say you're never going to do anything ever again in media where you swear so much? I feel like I've empowered you. Are you going to do? Are you going to do another movie ever?
I would love to, but I can't fund it the way I funded this one?
Right?
Would you find other people to help me?
I mean the bits and pieces that I saw of the movie again, I would if I didn't think, if I didn't believe what I'm about to say, I just wouldn't mention it.
Okay, but you like.
A real deal actor, dude like you like it? When I saw it, I went, how's this going to be?
You know?
Because oh no, it's great?
Because everyone goes in with low expectations, like even my mentor, David Gregory, who is a beautiful man, and when he first watched it, he admitted to me, He's like, when you contacted me and asked me to watch this movie, I was like, this is going to be a bit shit, isn't it? Like ah, And then he goes but it wasn't shit. I'm like, that's great because everyone goes in with low expectations and then they're just they're sweetly surprised, which is quite nice.
You could write, you could use that in the reviews. It wasn't shit.
Yeah, it wasn't shit.
It wasn't shit. Hey, I could talk to you forever. I'm so pleased that I've met you and that my audience has met you. You're genuinely amazing. Thanks for taking an hour and a half out of your life before we go. What do you want to promote or share with people? I've got a fair few listeners, So is there anything that you where do people find you or connect with you? Or do you want to steer my audience towards you're not for profit? Or I'll give you the mic for a minute.
Oh okay, Well I guess I just love people to watch the film and experience it, like it isn't experience, it is going It's designed to take you on a journey, like so so prepared for that, and like if you don't feel something, then you're weird.
And if you don't have a cry.
I don't want to say it too much, but if you don't cry, then you're made of ice.
What is wrong? What is wrong?
What is wrong with you?
But that's the point, And to build empathy. I think we lack empathy in the world. So for people to cry and feel what that family is going through, it's creating.
A natural empathy in people. And then at the end, like there.
Is hope and you hopefully have a good laugh too, because Rob Taylor is hilarious. He plays oh and the old character in the film, and he's a bit of Half of his lines is made up and they're the funniest ones. But yeah, to go on watch it. It's on Apple. You can just type in just a farmer in Apple and it'll come up.
And after you've.
Watched it, oh, you get your friends to watch it, catch up with your friends a few days afterwards, and actually talk about the themes in the film and how it made you feel and white it made you feel that way, because I think that reflects is really important afterwards, because it's designed to open conversations with among families and friends and then share with us what you thought too.
I'm going to be doing that. Don't worry about that, Leila. Thank you so much for connecting with us, and thanks for coming on the You project. I really appreciate the chat. This is I've done eighteen hundred plus. This is one of my favorites. It's going in my top ten straight up, So thank you very much. We say goodbye off air, but for the moment, Thanks for your time, and thanks for being so open and vulnerable and super clever.
No, thank you for having me