#1753 How Much Do You Want It? - Harps

little conversation how much do you want it? And the reason that I find this to be a particularly crucial question to ask is because there have been times in my life where I just didn't want the thing enough and I didn't get it, and I didn't do it. I kind of wanted it. I kind of wanted to do that or change that, or earn that, or own that or address that, or I kind of did but three out of ten kind of wanting to do it is never going to get me any kind of quality result.

And over the years, I've worked with lots of people, individuals and teams, and invariably at some point it comes to do the do you really this is going to be hard, probably, this is going to be inconveniently uncomfortable, and all of those things. So how much do you want to do? You kind of want to do this? Do you want to do it? A bit? Do you kind of six out of ten want to do it,

or do you really really want to do this? Because if we have everything else, but we don't have the drive, we don't have the focus, we don't have the intention of doing the work despite the pain, despite all of those things that come with building success, Like there needs to be a high level commitment despite all of those things that could get in our way. And so, you know, there's been many times where I've said to people to think about it, because I sense that they have the ability.

I sense that they have good potential. Sometimes I sense that they do want to change that thing or overcome that thing, or create that thing, or succeed at a certain thing. But I also get a really strong sense that they don't want it enough. And those big things, those life changing those transformational things, those change the direction

of your life things. Generally, these are not things that come quickly, easily or painlessly, and there is an level of effort and focus and commitment and courage that is required that truthfully, a lot of people just don't have or they don't have often. And there been times when

that's been me. There's been times where I kind of wanted something, but I didn't really, really, really fucking desperately want that, and I wasn't really genuinely prepared to do what was required to create it that you know in the back of my mind. And so you know, there's a few variables around this. I can only speak while I can speak more broadly, but I'll speak for me right now. So there came a time in my life where and there have come a few times where something

happened in my life. The first one, obviously they were spoken about too many times, was when I was a fat kid and I had a little bit of momentary trauma around being the fat kid, the fatest kid at school. And that, as painful as that was, that was a catalyst.

That was an emotional tipping point for me to really genuinely want to and not only want to, but be ready to do whatever was required to change my body, to change my thinking, to change my appearance, to change my weight, to change my habits, to change my relationship with food, to change the way that I looked and feeled and functioned and socialized and existed, to create a new operating system, to create new habits, to be different, do different for me. That all came from an experience

of pain and for better or worse. Sometimes for many of us, often we don't have the level of commitment or focus or passion required until the shit hits the fan. And so I'm always suggesting to people, please do not wait for the catastrophe someone says to me. So when someone says to me, I want to build a brand or a business, or I want to open a this or open to that, or I want to achieve that or change that, or write a book, or you get a six pack or whatever the thing is, whatever means

something to you. Before I go too far down the conversational pipeline or the goal setting and the structure and all those things, I ask them how much they want it, And I'm more interested in their physiology and their energy than their words when they respond. Because people can say to me, oh, no, I really want it. I know they don't. Really, that's that you don't. No, you don't like this needs to be something because we're not. Often

we're not talking about a small thing. Like I said before, it's not painless, not quick, not fast, not easy, not sexy. Sometimes the shit that we need to do to literally reinvent ourselves, to create a new operating system and habits and outcomes. It ultimately comes down to how fucking driven we are, how passionate, how hard we were work, and for how long how often we will roll up our sleeves, fall down, get back up, fall down, get back up,

fuck up, step up, fuck up, step up. I think you know this sounds funny, but I feel like, in some ways, mediocrity is a gift. I've said this a couple of times on air. But for me, not being super intelligent, not being super gifted, not having great genetics, not being a natural at most things, for me, that meant I had to work. So that built in me a work ethic, that built in me a mindset of

being okay with doing hard things and persevering. Because if I didn't do hard things and persevere in the middle of those hard things, you know, I would not succeed. I would not create the things I've created. I wouldn't have done you know, I wouldn't have written seven books. I wouldn't have traveled all over the world and spoken. I wouldn't have worked on Telly and radio, and I wouldn't do the things that I've done had I not been genuinely ready to do the work and had I

not wanted it enough. And I don't say any of those achievements proudly. I say them because they are just consequences of me getting in pain. They are consequences of me working really fucking hard and starting as a white belt. They are consequences of me stuffing up, fucking up repeatedly, repeatedly, repeat, and then eventually developing some awareness and skill and understanding and competence and getting better over time. But if it was only about success and comfort, I never would have

got here. And so you know, it comes down to what we're prepared to do to get what we want. You know, we all have an idea in our head of who we want to be and how we want to be and what we want to do be, create, change, build what we want our life to look like, and our relationships and our body and our health and our bank balance and all of these components of the human experience that we wax lyrical about. We all have an

idea of what we want. The question is not so much what do you want, but what are you prepared to do to get what you want? How much do you want it? And how hard will you work for it. We'll be back in a minute. All right, we're back. Thanks for listening. I hope you got something out of that. And of course the obvious question for today is what's the thing that you want? What do you really want?

In the words of the Spice girls, tell me what you want, what you really really want, and then, more importantly, in the words of me, how much do you want it? And what are you prepared to do to get it? See you next time.