Good a Groovers. I'm going to talk about this idea of delaying gratification. What does that mean? Thanks for asking. That means when I'm in that moment of I just want to do that thing, to scratch that itch, to boost that little dopamine kind of spike in my brain, to make me feel instantly and momentarily better. When I have that feeling, I don't do it. I turn my back. Metaphorically,
I say no, I still feel the same. I still feel compelled to have that bit of food, to drink that thing, to smoke that thing, to use that drug, to gamble on that horse, to do that thing that compels me, or that I feel compelled to do. But I don't do it, And you go, well, why does it matter?
Well?
It matters because if we are always acting on our impulses, if we are always submitting to giving into that instant gratification compulsion, Honestly, life doesn't generally end up well. Life doesn't go great for us if we are always being held hostage by our impulses and urges. Now, that doesn't mean we're never going to give into an impulse or urge. There's never going to be a bit of instant gratification or a bit of bloody cheesecake or a bit of bloody glass of coke, or I don't know, I know
what you think is but it's hard. It's hard. But I believe that experientially. I believe this through my own kind of journey and also working with others, observing others. I believe that our ability to be able to delay gratification, in other words, say no to that thing that's not going to do us any good over the long term, but it's going to make us feel bloody amazing in
the moment. Being able to say no to that, and really say no to that, and keep saying no to that is where we start to overcome those destructive and compulsive and toxic habits, and where we start to build self awareness, and where we start to self regulate, where we start to create a new operating system where we're not constantly at the whim of our impulses. Years ago, I had a guy come to see me, and this is when I owned I owned Jim's. And we sat down and this guy had come from far and he
had lots of weight to lose. He was very out of shape. We spent an hour and a half together, and in the hour and a half we sat and we talked, and we spoke about his background and his motives and his reasons and what he wanted to do be create, change all that stuff. Spoke about how he ate typically, spoke about his relationship with food, which was his biggest challenge. Spoke about, you know, his current status of health and weight and size and all of those things.
Did a basic assessment, put him through a workout, set a program for him, and an hour and a half later, after some pretty what I thought was some pretty deep connection and honesty and a few tears and a bit of a man hug at the end, and a bit of a come on, tiger, you can do it, I sent him on his way. And I won't say where he lived in case someone figures out who it is. He won't, but he lived in the country. He'd come a long way to see me, and he was going to see me once a month and come down. And
I was going to do the same thing. I was going to you know, basic assessment, chat, new program, a bit of a kick in the bum, bit of man love, you know, all that stuff, and we would see how he went. But I was kind of his coach, I guess, and if he needed to talk to me, he could ring me. Blah blah blah. This was the plan. This was the plan. So anyway, I sent him on his way, and about I don't know, ten minutes fifteen minutes later, I decided I was going to head up the road.
Just right right, one hundred meters from where my gym was was another road that kind of led to a whole bunch of shops and restaurants and cafes and stuff. Anyway, I headed up that road on my motorbike, So on a motorbike, not in a car, got a helmet on, so no one knows who it is. So I'm riding and I pull up at a set of traffic lights, actually a pedestrian crossing, and just in front of me, to the right, just in front of the pedestrian crossing, kind of thirty meters away from me, is a bakery.
And you know what I'm going to say, sitting out in the front of the bakery, as old mate who had just swore twenty minutes earlier, this was the beginning of the rest of his life, and he was going to turn everything round. And we had a food plan and the biggest challenge was food and self control. And he was like, I'm in the zone. I've never gone back. It's bloody amazing, and I'm so excited. Thank you, And like I said, tears and a bit of snart and
a hug. And I was literally sitting there and I looked over and here's this is this bloke sitting at a I remember, a round table, like one of those round cheap tables outside the bakery. I think he had a chocolate big m As I looked at him, he was eating either a pie or a pasty, and he had a bunch of other things there. He had a
bit of a banquet. Now this is twenty minutes, fifteen minutes after he left me, and it just amazed me that within twenty minutes that need for instant gratification, that despite you know, I was reasonably good at my job those days, I was you know, I don't know if I was the best, but I was pretty good. I was pretty good, pretty good train, a pretty good coach, pretty good at helping people like tap into that stuff. Anyway, it just it kind of underlined for me how bloody
powerful those urges and those compulsions. It's all about dopamine, by the way, like that's that's the thing we want. That's it's the pleasure neuro transmitter that bloody lights our brain up and makes us feel fucking amazing. And whether or not that dopamine responses from booze or from cocaine, or from chocolate or from sitting at a round table
outside a cafe stuffing pies and things in your face. Now, I'm not being nasty to him, it's just literally what happened, I mean, and so much so powerful is this that like advertisers and marketing people they they do. You know,
here's an interesting thing I just thought of this. Did you know that quite a few big advertising and marketing firms now have neuroscientists working with them, not just marketing and branding people, but neuroscientists on the team who understand brain chemistry and the way that people's brain chemistry works around advertising, especially things like advertising food and booze and
anything that can be somewhat addictive. And the reason that they have these people, and you can't blame them because their job is not to take care of the nation's health. Their job is to sell shit. The reason that they have these people is because they know how to manipulate an audience or a reader, or a viewer or a listener. Because they know how people respond. They know how addiction, be it a kind of addiction to chocolate or just some kind of weakness that people have, they know how
to use that. They know how to manipulate that, they know how to they know how to tap in, tap into that that dopamine drive, that drive for dopamine. Yeah.
So your challenge, my challenge, this has been big for me over the years, is in that moment, in that moment when you fit, when you know you don't need By the way, you never need a bag of chips.
I'm not saying never eat one, but you don't need the bag of chips. You don't need the glass of coke, you don't need the cake. If you want to have some now and then consciously and you just do it, that's cool. But if you are one of those people, I would say half the people that listen to me still wants to be fiddle or leaner or lighter, or healthier or better performing, or you know, put simply in
a better place with their body. And if you're one of those people, and if you're also one of the people who really struggles at times with food and self control and self regulation. Here's a really simple question to ask yourself before you shove something in your god, and that is do I want this or do I need it? The chances are you don't need it, you simply want it. Now, some people are maybe going, you're so fucking boring. How boring is life with that?
Well?
Is it? I think we tell ourselves stories about eating junk so that we can rationalize the eating of junk. I'm not saying never have a better junk food, never
have pizza, knock yourselves out, do what you want. But what I am saying is, if you have had a history, or you have a history with a body dysmorphia or not loving how you look or feel or function, or struggling a around food, or having a like me, a complicated relationship with food, then being able to delay that gratification, put it off for a while, maybe a long while,
or it could be something else. It could be spending, it could be but it's the challenge is to be in the grip of that impulse and to not do it. And if you can ride that wave, and you can come out the other side. You're a chance. All right, let's go to break because it's what we do, and I'll be back in a minute. Alrighty grievers. So when it comes to delaying gratification, your question desure is what is your achilles heel? What's the thing that you struggle
most with? And see if you can apply some of this thinking to that. Just catch yourself, just be aware, just be conscious. Do I need to do this this, have this whatever it is, spend this or do I just want to That's like a self awareness question. That's like a consciousness question. That's like a opening up your mind in the moment question and stepping out of that kind of that that groundhog danis that unconscious kind of behavior. See you next time.