Good team. I hope you will. I hope your day is going just swimmingly, if it's just starting, if you're way through, if you're just sliding towards home plate, I hope things are going well for you. I've got a question for you. What are your non negotiables for your life?
What are your non negotiables the things that you will, absolutely no matter what, day in day out, commit to in terms of who you want to be and how you want to be, in terms of your values, in terms of your goals, in terms of your dreams, in terms of what you want to do on planet you, what you want to be, who you want to be, how you want to create, the things that you need to change and overcome in terms of all of that, what are your non negotiables? Now? I wouldn't normally say this,
but I'm going to say this for this episode. I think that it's a good idea, if not now, maybe later for you to hit the pause button even and just brainstorm, like, what is it that I want to do? Be? Create? Who do I want to be? How do I what do I want my life to look like? In terms of what I want what needs to be non negotiable. Do you really want to get in shape? Do you really want to be fit? Lean, healthy? Is that what you want? Cool? Tell me you're non negotiables. Not yet,
I'll give it a go and see how it works out. No, what are you not? What are the things that you will absolutely no matter what, irrespective of whether or not you're in the zone, out of the zone, excited, not excited, happy, sad,
cold day, warm day, sunshine, rain. What are the things that you will truly commit to that will become a non negotiable part of your operating system, your daily operating system, the things that you typically do to live in alignment with the person you want to be in the middle of the life that you want to create. Because it's very, very easy to say, these are my non negotiables, Well, non negotiable for me, I'm going to exercise every day
of thirty minutes. I'm only going to drink booze two days a week, or I'm going to drink no booze, or it's easy to talk about this stuff. And we've heard, you've heard the term non negotiables. And one of the dangers of listening to me every day is that we can hear this stuff and go yeah, harps, that's yeah, that makes sense or that resonates, or but we don't fucking do anything like we just get eight, ten, twelve minutes of theory with me, and then we go back
to status quo. We just slip back into groundhog day. And I want you to enjoy what I talk about, and I want to inspire and motivate you, and I want to challenge you and provoke you, and I want you to slip into that metacognitive kind of experience of thinking about how you think and thinking also about how and why you behave the way you do. But also I would love for these moments that you have with me to actually lead to something practical, because it's in
the practical that the process happens. It's in the practical that you become different. It's in the practical that you start to succeed and move into the place that you want to be. Experientially, when we identify our non negotiables, when we get really clear about that, it helps us navigate life. It helps us It gives us much more
clarity and certainty around decision making, around action taking. And when I've identified and I am living my non negotiables, I don't need to rely on inspiration and motivation they prevail my non negotiables, my rules, my standards, they prevail when motivation doesn't. People say to me, I've had something
like this many times. How do you go out and everyone's eating a certain way and drinking and drinking booze or whatever, and you don't now I might sound like a kill joy or a party pooper or a social dud. And honestly, I'm probably all of that in many people's eyes. And I get it, and I understand, and I definitely don't think anybody needs to be like me. The beauty of me being me is I get to choose how
I am. The beauty of you being you is you get to choose your operating system and your non negotiables. But the truth is that how I can be in a situation where the majority, if not all, of the people are behaving a certain way and I'm not is because my operating system, my non negotiables, doesn't change depending on who I'm with or where I'm at. And so because for example, one of my non negotiables is I don't drink alcohol. And again, this is not a recommendation
or a suggestion. But this is one of my non negotiables. This is one of my rules. This is one of my standards, and it's not something that I do when I'm being disciplined or I'm self regulating well, or I'm in the zone, or I'm particularly motivated or inspired. And look how fucking good I'm being. I'm with all of these drinkers that I'm not drinking. No, I just don't drink.
And the reason I don't drink, and the reason that after years of eating crap and being self destructive with food, the reason that I'm in a different place now is because I identify the things that for me, based on how I want to be and who I want to be, need to be non negotiable. I know that personally, I know that how I work emotionally, mentally and socially around for example, food, I know that I need to be
clear about what's okay for me and what's not. And because I have absolute clarity and certainty about what's okay for me, so booze not okay, drugs not okay, junk food not okay. And the reason is not because I want to be a teetope or I'm a party pooper. It's because this is the way that I think, Oh, I've only got one body, and I don't have awesome genetics, So what I better do with this one body that I have that I can't replace? What I better do
is take fucking care of it. Now, if I said do you want to look after your body optimally, most of you would go, well, yeah, I'm going cool. So my next question is regarding you taking care of your body optimally, what are your non negotiables? And this is where we start to squirm in our seats and say things like oh yeah, harps, but you've got to have a life. And then I go, all right, Brian, I
don't know why it's Brian, what does that mean? Are you saying that, for example, living the way that I live with certain rules and parameters around food and around the way that I socialize, by the way, I love socializing, love humans, love hanging out with people, love talking. I just don't need booze or excess food to have a good time. But that's sometimes what we rationalize bad behavior with irrational thinking. The truth is none of us need
booze or junk food. That's the truth. That's the uncomfortable truth. I'm not saying don't drink booze and don't ever eat junk food. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying for you, not for your mom, not for your dad, not for your partner, not for your kids, not for your friends, not for your peers. For you, what for you, based on your health, based on how you want to feel and function and perform, what needs to be non negotiable?
What about money? What needs to be non negotiable in terms of the way that you manage money and the way that you live around money, your relationship with money? What about your career? What needs to be non negotiable? What about the way that you raise your kids? What are your non negotiables? What are your rules? See, here's the thing. When we clearly identify fire our non negotiables, life becomes much easier in terms of decision making. Maybe
easier is not the right word. Maybe clearer. Decisions and behaviors become much clearer, and initially maybe hard because we're giving up some stuff that might be hard to give up, or we're making some changes that might be hard, But eventually it becomes easier. What are your non negotiables. What are the things that you need to identify that aren't working, Like, what am I doing that's working? What am I doing that's not working? The stuff that's working great, the stuff
that's not working. Maybe you need to create a few rules. We'll take quick break. We'll be back in a minute. It's how I roll. Okay, we're back. So my question dejure, my departing question for you is this, what is a sometimes behavior? So, in other words, what's a thing that you do sometimes because you know that you should, but then you eventually don't do it because whatever happens right
doesn't matter why? But what's a sometimes in inverted Comma's behavior that needs to become an all the time behavior or in other words, a non negotiable on planet you? All right, now, go do some work. See tomorrow.