#1733 Fingers In The Batter - Dr. Jodi Richardson

what's to come. So yeah, generally very good at the moment.

of it. I'm like, no, You're going to the detention Like it's just a little thing. But I think we need to let them bear the consequences of their choices. You know. Another situation with her at the moment is that she has a class that she is not loving. She's chosen some electives, all of them are great, bar one not loving it and is kind of angling to get out of it. And I kind of said to her yesterday, look, it's only going to get better, not worse. I won't go into the details of what she's not

loving it. She wouldn't love that. But I just need my kids to face the challenges as they come and learn that, you know what, it's not the worst thing in the world. You can bear the consequences when they come, if they come, which are rare, and you can learn that you can get through it and get out to the other side. You know. Other things like letting them on the train, like we live on the Mornington Peninsula. As you know, it's about an hour from the city.

Big shopping center for us sort of the closest one would be Southland, And you know, I do worry a little bit, but I need to let my kids on the bus on the train to get out and do things and just let them experience the world, because, my goodness, they're going to experience it when they've got their licenses, and I want them to have had some challenges, some mishaps, some experiences that they've had to kind of navigate before they are doing it all on their own and I

don't have any kind of influence over it. So it's bloody hard. It is hard to let go and let go of the rains, but it's it's the only way that we can set them up to actually get good at solving problems and getting themselves out of a jam and learning that if they do get in a really difficult situation and things go south, that they can come out the other side with our support as well. So

it's not easy. There's no one line. But in general, so many parents are kind of doing too much, doing too much for them, doing too much with them, and holding on pretty tight to the rains and I've done that too. No judgment here, but we've got to let go. We've got to let go a lot more than we are.

chat to you. I love chatting with you, and I love this community you've created and it's so much easier. And yes, there's a bit of anxiety because I care.

But the only way we can learn that we can do the things that we want to do is by doing them, and when we're protected from doing them, Like you know, a friend of mine was telling me her daughter didn't want to go to school because it was the day to present the class project so to day to present the post to the class, and everyone was pulling out and parents were like giving the kids permission to not go so they didn't have to do this thing. And I tell you what, when you don't do it

the first time, it's so much harder a second. So yeah, not giving our kids freedom. And the other huge thing, one of the huge things is risk taking, Like we need our kids to fall off their bikes, to fall out of a tree, to make a poor decision about a public transport choice, to you know, get themselves in a bit of a pickle in the shopping center. I mean my daughter again, she was with her friend at Target.

They had stuff from Kmart, they hadn't kept their receipt they'd paid for bags, they had receipts for the bags they'd bought the fifteen cent bags from Camart. They got stopped at the door at Target because the woman thought that they'd been stealing and they absolutely hadn't and they couldn't prove that, and you know, like if we don't, if we don't give them I mean, not that that

was risk taking as such, because they're good kids. They know not to steal, but risk taking and choices in in situations where there's no adults is so good for our kids, Like they learn to kind of judge things, they learn to negotiate, they learn to communicate. You look at a game, you let kids go for it and play a game like you think of backyard cricket like adults. If we just stand back, the kids will sort it out. They have to cooperate because they want other kids to play.

They can't go smashing it out of the park all the time because everyone will walk away. It's no fun if you're just dominating, you know. If you want to kind of like develop the rules around a game, you've got to communicate. And this free play, these opportunities, they are gold, and they are so they're so missing from life for our young kids. They spend a lot of time inside, they spend a lot of time online, and

it's really hurting them. It's really hurting them. So yeah, direct correlation between being over protected outside and as Jonathan Hate would say, who wrote the an anxious gen underprotected online.

teachers or cares consciously help kids become resilient? Or is that? I mean, that's kind of what you're talking about. But do we need to be strategic about this? Like I'm just thinking, how do you get strong? Like without you know, like I'm not accidentally going to build muscle or build strength, or build power, or build muscular endurance, or build competence or skill unless I go to the in this analogy, unless I go to the gym and do the things

that create that outcome. What about is there a conscious way to do this in terms of mental and emotional strength and flex cognitive flexibility and capacity that is.

to you on a plate. You have to earn resilience. It's not built in a vacuum. But when it comes to kind of decisions around building resilience, and I think, I think as adults who are looking after or raising young people, gosh, I was just thinking, Peter and I haven't sat down had a good chat about just life

and general and things because we're just so busy. I think taking the time out with yourself or with your partner if you've got one, or with whoever else is kind of in the circle of you know, a colleague, if you're a teacher, to sort of think about, right, what are we doing and what could we do differently that would help these kids to have the experiences that they need, because that's really what it comes down to. You only learn what you can cope with by coping

with things. And when you know, I can speak from example like it is, it is gut wrenching it is sick to the stomach when your kids are going through stuff, like when your kid comes home and says someone's being and you know, watching them at school, like you know, somebody's giving them a really hard time on the daily at school, or they have worked their butts off to try to achieve something and they miss the mark, or they just keep get rejected by someone if they're you know,

reaching out, or they want to sort of connect with someone, or all of those things, all of those things that just break their hearts. And as a parent, you just feel sick. And so I have to tell myself and I am not the perfect parent in you know. You know, I'm not trying to say that I'm doing it all right.

I'm navigating it as I go. But I have a really, i guess a strong understanding in myself that as hard as it is to let them go through these challenges, I have to step back, not away, not stepping away. I'm not absent, but I am not trying to problem solve. I am not trying to pave the path or what was that thing there was snowplow parents. I think there for a while that were like zooming everything out of

the way. You know, anticipating what could go wrong. I'm trying to remind myself when things go really pear shaped that it is an opportunity. And you know, at fourteen and sixteen, I can see it in the kids now

that that resilience muscle is growing. That resilience muscle is growing, and they've had enough experiences, you know, on their COVID kids, like a lot of you know, teenagers their age, they went through the most difficult hard times, you know, and our son lacerated his liver at the end of COVID. He had a bike accident and lacerated his liver and it was on the verge of needing surgery. It was. It was terrifying, and you know, obviously you can't problem

solve your way out of that. You just get them thro the emergency center and all of that. But you just have to kind of go right with every check mark on the board of shitty things that happen. It's a learning experience and we don't like it, but we have to tell ourselves when they learn that I can go through a serious injury and come out the other side. I can go through a rejection and come out the other side. You know, he got a detention, and I was I high fived him that he got a detention

because he's pretty straight laced. And he made a decision one day to leave the school grounds because his mates were all going to the local shops and he didn't want to be the one wauser who was left behind. And I said, you know, I think that was actually a good decision because your social connections are everything when you're a teenager. And I'm like, just wear that detention. I think that you made the right decision under the circumstances.

It's very safe. You know. Obviously as a former teacher, you know, I sort of think, oh, what if this school heard me saying this, Well, I for my kid, that was the right choice. And I'm like, okay, go to the detention as a turnout of his having his wisdom teeth out on the day of the detention, and they never followed up with it. He got out of it in the end. But just this resilience piece is

really lacking. Kids are quite fragile. Many are struggling. And what I'm hearing from my friends who are fifty like me and are kind of managing generations that have kind of come through below us, behind us, that there's a

lot of things that they're not very resilient about. And I'm generalizing, but it's our job now to let our kids go through the stuff they have to go through so that they can build that they will thank us, and we will be able to relax a lot more when they're older, knowing that they've got what they need. They're well equipped to cope in this world that is really hard sometimes.

quite irrational about her food and her exercise. She was quite obsessed, and she'd you know, she'd over not over eat, but she'd eat a bit of whatever cake and then she wouldn't eat the whole next day. And then you know, a lot of irrational, unhealthy relationship with her body and food and originally a very very serious eating disorder then eventually just disordered eating and all the stuff right, And we spoke about it, but I'd never met a daughter.

And then I met her daughter, like after about a year, and I'm like, she's just handed down all her issues to her daughter. Her daughter was exactly. Her daughter was obsessed, she was insecure, she weighed herself fifteen times a day. She was just a younger version of the dysfunctionalma. And I remember thinking, Oh, she's unconsciously and unintentionally, I think built another her. And so I guess my question is

all of us, me included. Of course, we've all got issues, and we also know that our children to an extent are a byproduct of not only us genetically, of course, but also socially, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally. Do you ever think about handing down your issues to your kids? Do you? Like, I'm pretty sure that, Like, I don't know any parents that's got all their shit together. I don't know any human including me, do we? How do we not guarantee?

But how do we do our best that we don't pass on our own negative traits and issues and behaviors?

drinks a lot of beer after work. And then you know, the little kids, a little toddler and they're like, well, can I get your beer from the Not the toddler, but you know, little kid, can I get your beer dad? You know, And and it's just like classic kind of this what this child is seeing is this is the pattern. And you know, I think about how I've been kind of shaped by my own mom and dad, particularly my mum, and she has an anxiety disorder, and I am constantly

sort of thinking. And Peter will say to me, like, I'll give you an example from me. Right when I was brought up, I was not allowed to put my finger in the batter, you know, when we're baking cakes. I wasn't allowed to pinch food off, Like if there's roast potatoes on the baking tray, I was allowed to pinch food off the tray. I had to wait for things to be dished up. And I know it's nothing major, but now, like, I've got this thing about kids in the kit I mean, I bake with the kids, and

the kids are cooking and stuff. But if somebody goes to put a finger in the batter, oh my gosh, I have this visceral reaction because because for me, that was if that was something that I was really taught not to do. And so I react to that and and you know, and I have this I don't ever think about germs per se. I mean, I'm not like

o c D about that. I've had my struggles with OCD in the past, but I do think about the fact that, oh my gosh, have they washed their hands all the things that came up for me when I was a kid. And Pete's like, and I'm like, sorry, guy, sorry guys, because I'll react and Pete will say, we don't want this to we don't want to create in the kids what has happened for you kind of thing. And it's again, it's low stakes. It's not a big deal, but it's that easy. Like I get this, and there's

a name for it. I can't recall, you know, when metal on metal, how are you with, like, you know, if the the times on two forks get stuck together, like I'm literally having chills now even thinking about it, and I react and my daughter does too, And I

think that that's just a learned thing. Had I not reacted every time that happened in the kitchen, she probably wouldn't I that, But I guess all we can do is kind of think, right, what is it about the way I operate that I would like to be different for my kids and to be open about it, Like I've talked a lot about my mental health, and I guess, you know, when these things are happening that example of like fingers in the batter because we bake a bit

around here. I'm trying to make that change and almost invite it now so that I can get used to it. I can adapt, and you know other things, you know, like our lifestyle habits we can pass on which are absolutely fantastic, like exercise and alcohol. I've stopped drinking. I'm a non drinker now, and I think that that's been a lot of There's been a lot of conversations in our house about alcohol and food choices and protein and fruit and veggies and stuff. So it goes both ways.

Yes we pass stuff on. Yes we can't help it pass on habits and choices and behaviors in our kids. But we can be conscious about it for much of it, and where we are struggling with things, we can just talk about it and sort of say, hey, I don't want this for you. You know, I had to make my bed. I had to make my bed, and you're not allowed to sit on my bed. If Mum vacuumed the shag pile carpet, you're not allowed to walk on it. She'd say, unless you learned to hover, you're not going

in that room. And I would walk on the furniture. It was like everything had to be straight because she had to manage your own anxiety like that. And then the day Peter and I the first morning after making the bed and he sat on it. I was like, no, you can't sit on the bed. He's like, ah, I can, and watch me and I'm like no, but I've just made it and he's like and he's like, well, that's

not the way I was brought up. And feel free to straighten it up again when I get up sitting on it to put on my socks and then he'd have you want to invite people around to our new home, and I'll be like, but I haven't cleaned, but I haven't planned it. But he goes, it's okay, it's okay if you're not comfortable go out with your mates on Saturday night, don't don't stress about it. But he kind of helped me to learn to relax. So I've got a lot of issues, clearly, but.

What's the thinking I need to unlearn? What are my beliefs that I need to put under a spotlight and go do they serve me or sabotage me? Because you know, like when that is the lens through which you view the world, that you can't sit on the bed lens and get the fuck off, what are you doing? Right? That's a problematic lens because that makes you know one part of life hard and then you go, hang on, Okay, what's the worst that can happen? Well, the bed's a

bit messy, Okay is that acceptable? I guess, so, all right, well fuck that off. That doesn't serve me because not only is not sitting on the bed is not only is sitting on the bed not a problem, but it's also not a reason for internal chaos or anxiety, and it's also not a reason to potentially have a problem with your partner. And you're like, but I think the thing is, doctor Jodi, is that this stuff is so ingrained that we don't have that level of in the

moment awareness. And it's only when you step back now, like you and me, where you're not you're not doing that anymore. You're not in the bedroom, he's not sitting on the bed. But we're objectively analyzing a thing, or as objective as we can be looking through the Craig and Jody windows of course, but yeah, it's like this is I guess for me, the beauty of self awareness is just trying to not judge, not criticize, not loathe, not self loathe, but just go ah, why am I like,

why do I react that way? Why am I doing this? Why am I saying this? Where is this coming from? Does this way that I think does it actually help? Does it serve me? Is it a positive? And if it doesn't serve me? Good? So tick, let's recognize that. Now what can I do to maybe reverse that or undo that?

stuff done. And that was me yesterday. And I stop and think now that we're having this conversation about like how much I've learned through my relationship with Peter and how he's very you know, anxiety is not really kind of something that he It's not something he struggles with obviously, like every human, he has his moments. Multi story car parks is one of those trigger that for him. But that the awareness is huge, and I think this idea that we can we can do things differently, and it

is uncomfortable. It is so uncomfortable, And there was a period of time where I just decided I am just not going to make the bed at all. And there were months and I just got used to that. I just kind of taught myself. And it's saying it out loud sounds a bit pathetic because it's like, oh, like, but it was about control, and it was about order, and it was about and I think, and I don't just think. I know, And the science tells us when there is chaos around us, a mess, it does affect,

especially when we're anxious. It does affect the way how you know, how clearly we can think, how settled we are into the things that are you know, doing the work that we need to do. And so many of us need to kind of organize our space, to organize our minds. But I just unlearned those habits and that awareness to sort of say, how is this serving me? How is this serving me? And why? And I had a really interesting conversation on my podcast about Christmas stress

and family dynamics and my guess, Mariva Carcass. She said it was a really interesting and talking about perspective and the lens through which we're looking at things. She shared this example about Christmas, about you know, one person, let's just say that the husband has wants to spend a lot of money. Apparently hams can be very expensive one vegetarians, we don't need ham on Christmas Day, but you know, once the most beautiful ham, the really expensive ham, the

huge piece of ham. The table has to be set a certain way, certain foods need to be included, things need to be just so. And then the partner's saying, but the ham's too much. You know, things are a bit tight. Why can't we just get the supermarket one or go with a roast couple of roast chooks this year instead? And that they ends up being tension and maybe even really significant arguments over over the ham. She's like, it's not about the ham. It comes back to what

are our beliefs around Christmas Day? For example, what have we been raised with, what's important to us about the day. It's probably not about the ham. It might be about spoiling people. It might be about feeling like our Christmas will be less than in the eyes of other people that are coming if we don't kind of do things the way we've always done them. So it's not really

about the thing we often think it's about. It can be about the things that are kind of come with us through our childhood and through all of our experiences that kind of culminate in an argument about the one hundred dollar ham versus the fifteen dollar one. It's not about the ham, and it just like I think about, I'm trying to bring that thinking to other things in my life, like what is this really about? And the

question you ask, does it serve me? It's such a it's a question we can all ask, and hopefully with some time off over the coming weeks, we might all have some time to sort of think about what are we doing that's serving us and what are we doing

that's not. And I'm not talking about news resolutions. I'm talking about long term kind of reflection opportunities and trying to make change over time that's going to serve us well and better in terms of our lifestyle and our health and our mental health as well.

no one's no one's sinking, everyone's just stepping up. Everyone's just you know, it's like, sometimes we can turn a one out of ten minor problem into an fifteen out of ten catastrophe, and then other times, when we really are confronted with something incredibly difficult, there's something in us that goes, well, I can't have a breakdown because all this stuff needs to get done. I need to solve this problem. I need to be this person I don't have,

Like if I'm not resilient now shit won't happen. So I need to be. And so I have this awareness that while you know, faced with the one out of ten minor issue, that really isn't a problem, but we can create a problem, like we can fucking invent problems where none exist. Yet what is encouraging for me is, you know, not everyone. Of course, some people do fall apart understandably, no judgment, that's just what happens. But also at the same time, you know, average people with respect

in inverted commas, I'm an average person. I'm not special. Average or typical or normal people can do fucking incredibly atypical, heroic, incredible things when they just have to. So I find that, Yeah, that, and it's interesting. And it's like, then you're having a meltdown or you were at one stage over the fucking bed, right, yet get put in something which doesn't even compare something

horrible and terrible and potentially life threatening. I have no doubt that you would just step up and do what needed to be done, and you wouldn't say I'm too anxious to deal with this. You just fucking deal with it. Yea. And I think this, like this awareness of how much capacity we have, like how much like peoples not misrepresent misunderstand me, like so many people think, but you're so smart,

you're so you're so fuck so talented. You just I'm like, no, I'm not, No, I'm not like I'm I'm I struggled at school, I struggled socially, socially, I struggled with my body and my health. The fucking nothing was easy. Yeah, you know, my first degree I did at thirty six, and I was terrified for the first six months. I started my PhD at fifty six, also terrified, Still terrified. Right,

none of this is easy or painless. Like the only thing that I'm pretty good at and comfortable with is what we're doing right now, which is just chatting to humans.

and emotional prison. And then they wake up and they're fifty.

have so much regret. I was having a chat with my friend Sale a few days ago, and we were just talking about what if I was giveing a you to live, What would be really important for me to get done? What would I want to not die having not done? That's too many negatives? What do I want to do before I die? And I got thinking about this a lot, because I, like you said, about stepping up, we are going to try not to get upset. But I lost my dear aunt recently, twenty seventh of October.

She passed away and it was a shock. She had a stroke. She had that thunderclap headache. I hadn't heard of that before, but she had a massive stroke. And like you say about stepping up, like her family's all around the world for us, She's one of seven kids. Mum and I are the closest, and my other Arnie, and we just like we were just like right. I left an event, actually, Craig, I was leaving an event Relate a Relate event for eighty nine point nine. The

light and my phone rang at eleven o'clock. Driving home, I thought Mum's ringing to keep me company on the drive home. No Mum was ringing me to tell me the news, and so we basically in the middle of the night at the hospital at the Alfred, came home, I took the kids to school, back to the Alfred at the Alfred almost every day as you would be, and thankfully Annie Jenny regained consciousness. We had lots of chances to chat and everything, and unfortunately, you know, it

was just too severe a stroke. But it certainly speaks to your point of the stepping up that happens when the shit hits the fan is phenomenal and everybody did it. But also this idea that this mortality. We don't talk about death enough. We don't. We don't want to think about it. It's going to happen for all of us, don't We don't want to really kind of spend too much time in that space because it's it's worrying, it's frightening,

and I want to come back. I want you. I want to talk about a question you asked me last time that I didn't answer, and I come up with an answer about what do I need to do that takes courage and it's related to this. I want to talk about that before we finish. But sal and I were talking about what do we want to do, what kind of is really important for us? And I think we don't know how much toimey. If we keep putting

it off, it's never going to feel easier. Like you say, it's just about kind of making a start, and it's the consistency. It's the consistency of stepping forward each day. Like you like you. You're so inspiring because of the fact, I mean, I think you're an incredible human and that the things that you've achieved are phenomenal. Like you say, it hasn't come easy. It's just this is something that's important. I'm going to do it, and I'm going to put one foot in in front of the other and just

keep going. And it's amazing. We underestimate what we can do in twelve months of just putting one foot in front of the other. I think it's so important. And if you're listening and you're thinking of the things that you wanted to do over the last ten years, you haven't done it. Please don't wait for it to feel easier, or to be less anxious, or to you know, to have someone guide you. Just buddy start, because eventually like

for my gorgeous anti Jen. I've been on the phone with a on the Sunday booking tickets for an event that we're going to go to us. You know, we spent a lot of time together and Tuesday she had this stroke. She never left the hospital. You just don't know what's going to happen.

I'm fat and lazy like it. It gave me alert and I saw that, yeah, basically get off your ass, right, And I looked at it, and generally I used to walk like I guess somewhere between five and ten thousand seven six, but for quite a long time because I live at this fucking desk, you know, researching, studying, writing, recording, doing business doing, coaching, doing workshops at this desk because I do so much shit online, right, but it doesn't mean I can't Anyway, I looked at that and I

was averaging something like four and a half thousands. I'm like, am I a plant? Am I A yuck? Am I A fuck? Am I a rose bush? And I went, that's it, that's it. And I just I went, that's it. So from now I've got to do minimum of ten. Right, So in the last three weeks, I've averaged just under fifteen thousand. So and I'm not saying, am I an

I good? Because anyone can do that, right. It is just literally it's not like, oh yeah, but you're genetically equipped to no. And I'm sixty one, like me walking fifteen thousand steps a day and I'm pretty much a bodybuilder. I'm not a cardio king, right, So but here's my point. Something in my brain went, you need to change, and not one day and not soon, and not when you're motivated, and not when summer comes and not you need to

fucking change today. And so I just went, okay, and now like this morning, it's so we're recording this, it's ten twenty eight. I would say I've probably done seven thousand already and I'll do today at least fifteen. And it's not oh, You're terrific, it's just like, no, this matters, and I need to do this. And yes it's inconvenient because I've got lots of other shits, but I need to figure out a way. So I'm, as I said in the thing, I'm now coaching people while I'm walking.

Oh love it. So all of the zoom coaching that I do, I'm now doing on WhatsApp video and walking. So you know, obviously I'm not walking in high traffic areas and I'm not going to get run over. But here's my point, Like, it is not about you know, if you spend your life waiting for better genetics or more time, or the perfect situation or the perfect conditions or the perfect environment. For most people, it will not happen.

But as you know, as we said a minute ago, when the shit hits the fan and there is like it has to be now. There is no other time. There's only now. Because the shit's happening now, you can't wait for more talent or more courage or more time. Like you're just fucking doing it now, will you just do it? And you do it because there's part of your brain that goes, well, Craig, this isn't optional. Now, imagine if every listener, that's underwalking just as a thought experiment.

Like people when I need to double my steps too, Well, imagine if in your mind you truly believe that there was no option, and so from tomorrow you had to double your steps and you had to find a way, like there was no other choice. Well, we just don't find a way. We just all find a way. But the truth is we don't have to. We don't have to be courageous, we don't have to walk more, we don't have to make a decision, we don't have to change our diet today. We don't have to conf aren't

that thing? We don't have to And this is the problem because the thing that we need to do is not the thing we want to do, and the thing that creates change is generally, as everyone fucking knows, I beg But there's no other truth that it's hard, it's uncomfortable, it's inconvenient. And so while we consciously understand that, we subconsciously wait for the perfect conditions and then boom we're fifty, we do.

my mind because it was such a pivotal moment. And I when I started studying, I've done my PhD and everything, and I just started becoming really interested in psychology and behavioral change and positive psychology and happiness science and all that.

And I really wanted to contact the co owner of the Hot Springs Peninsula Hot Springs, Charles Davidson, because I've been to a breakfast networking event to hear him speak, and he said, if you've got something that you want to achieve, accomplished, to build, create, you've got to tell people. Because when you tell people, people might go, I know someone you should talk to, or or they might just support you. But best case scenarios, they might make a connection or And I said to Adam, I want to

I want to create this happiness retreat. I want to call it the Happiness Retreat. I want to deliver it at the Hot Springs. And I want to ask because because Charles said, if you want to do something to tell someone, I'm like, I want to tell him this is what I want to do, and I'm pretty much thinking, how could he say no? Because he's the one that gave that advice, you know. Anyway, Adam said to me when I was I said, I'm just I feel so

anxious about it. And he said, having courage does not mean you are not frightened about what you're about to do. He said, that is not what courage is. It is knowing how terrified you are of doing something and doing it anyway. I mean, it's not a new quote, it's not new advice. But it was in that moment that I realized that I'd been waiting. I had been waiting, and I picked up the darn phone and lo and behold, he said, I'd love to meet for a coffee. Long

story short. Ten years later, I did the Happiness Retreat, I did other public facing things. Somebody recommended me because of my work. Eventually I ended up writing a book with the person I did the next lot of work with. Now I've got two books and my own business, and I'm just had I not made that phone call, had I not made that step, all of these other steps which have been haven't been easy. You know, I might

be still sitting around. I might be outside today pecking out the washing, thinking, gee, I really like to make this phone call, you know, and all of a sudden, ten years later, here I am because of that phone call that I made, and so yeah, it's you know.

I'll have a good day one day. Like this is the journey. This is the journey is navigating bullshit, you know, navigating mayhem and mess and or most of the things on planet Craig that impact me or intersect with me, or influence me or in my orbit, most of them I can't control most yeah, yeah, So what I do is I control the things I can and I adapt around the things that I can't and I ask good questions and I try to be a good human. You know, but this is you know, you're not going to get

more talent. You can get more skill and more understanding and awareness. You're not going to get more hours in a day. You're not going to get better genetics. You're not going to wind back the clock. You're not going to be forty in five years. So we go, all right, well, these are nones, these are certainties. So with all of that in mind, what's possible? You know, what can you do?

like the answer? There will be a question that the answer is yes, and you go, fuck, well done, let's do that. Because it's not even about doing the course or or building the business. It's about who you become when you're doing the course. It's about who you become when you write the book, when you start the well Hello Anxiety podcast. It's about who you become on the journey. You know. For me, the new project has been an

absolute blessing and a gift. And I you know, I'm super fortunate that I'm partnered with Nova, your partner with Life FM. We're both, you know, super lucky, and we've both worked hard though. But for me, truly, the joy is the people I meet. The joy is this conversation. The joy is meeting people from all over that I

would never even get an appointment with. I wouldn't even get an appointment with half of the people that I talked to, if not, if not for this thing, that this vehicle that just opens doors, this conduit to fucking learning and growth. And you know, but even with this, it's like, well, nobody knocked on the door and said, Craig, here's a successful show.

I can, I can, I don't want to. Hey, we're going to wind up, but tell people so Jody's podcast is brilliant. She's brilliance called well, hello anxiety. What else do you want to?

me to share it. And I've thought about whether or not I'll tell you this, and of course I am. I I bow cancer runs in my family, and I'm quite happy. Helped saying I'm quite healthy. And while I don't have a diagnosis a bow cancer, that's not where I'm going, but it runs in my family. And so I've been having preventative checks colonoscopies. Joy oh, Joy. And the last one I had, Craig was six months ago, and I've just had another one and it was really good news. But the last one I had, I got

diagnosed with this syndrome that trooples my risk of bow cancer. Wow. And it was a long colonoscopy. Came out of it feeling terrible physically, very frightened emotionally getting the news that you've got this syndrome. It's genetic. There's nothing you can

do about it, like literally diet, exercise, you know. And one of the things that in my follow up appointment with my gastorinrologist, he said, I want to refer you to familial cancer genetic screening, And basically what that means is they do a blood test and determine what cancers you're at risk of.

I should know. Do I want to know? That's terrifying me. Anyway, I had the conversation the consult with the through Monash, through the Monash Hospital, and she said, it it's not all cancers, it's bow cancers, and we determine what you're at risk of to kind of help me know how frequently I need to have my colonoscopies for the rest of my life. And I said yes to that. I yes, I definitely want to know. It's you know, I don't know what the news is going to be, but I

can't change the outcome. I cannot control what my genetics are, but learning about them can help me control other things. And it's good for my kids to know, et cetera, et cetera. And so I wanted to share with you. I wanted to share that with you because because I want people listening to know that, you know, this idea that our coming back to mortality coming back to you know, like what happened with Annie Jenny, you know obviously, and

I know Ray's not well. You've got somebody very specially in your life, and I know you know your dad's had a heart attack, you know, sort of in the in the recent past. And you know our aging parents that you know, they're giving us lots lots of sleepless nights and things. And the reason I wanted to share this with you is because having these tests, having these screenings, you know, for our skin and I know I've spoken

about this before, but for our bowhouth. You know, the fifty year olds get you get it literally on your birthday note to say we're sending you a bower screening test. I know of someone who had that sitting around for eighteen months and now has stage four bow cancer and

could have done something about it. And I guess this is kind of another public service announcement for you know, get your boobs checked, ladies, get your bows checked, if you you know, get your colonoscopies, get your skin checks. It's frightening, it's anxiety provoking. Yes, they might find something. What if they find something. If they find something, you can do something about it. Bow cancer doesn't occur overnight.

It takes years for polyps to turn into bow cancer if you find if they find polyps, they can take them out. Not knowing is not going to change the situation. And you know, I'm in a good position. I've had my next one just a week ago, and the gastor in trologist said, don't need to see you for a year, and I'm like, yes, that is awesome. But I'm in a more empowered position. And so it wasn't that I thought of this last time and didn't have the courage

to say. And I'm not embarrassed at all about it. It's just a part of my lot and at least me going through this and sharing about it, which I like to be really authentic, can hopefully make a difference for other people. Because you know, something's going to catch up with this inevitably. Why don't we see what we can catch early and do something about so that we give ourselves more time, more and more health over the

years to come. So, yeah, I wanted to answer that question for you this time because I couldn't answer it in a really important way last time.

like not knowing won't make it go away. Yeah, So even though you don't want anything, and there's let's hope that all of you listening, there's there's nothing that comes up bad when you go to get whatever done, and it probably will be good for most, if not all, of you. But on the off chance I'm with you, I get. I mean, I think I've probably know I had about six things cut off my skin recently. I've had over thirty skin cancers, basil cell carcinomas, squamous sells,

a whole lot of different things. At fourteen stitches in my forehead or eleven or twelve like recently, you know, it's like, but if I don't go and get tested and I don't get that shit cutout, that's that's gonna kill me. And so better. It's like scars are cool and the moment if you're a sixty year old dude, maybe, but we're going to go tell people how to connect, tell people how to find you and connect.

lovely testimonials. So I created a testimonial's page, Craig, because I thought it'd be nice to share the lovely things people are saying. So but yeah, Instagram, follow me on Instagram if you want to sort of connect as well. And DM, if you go for a go for a scan because of this conversation, let me know, because yeah, it's I think, yeah, and talk to your family about that as well. Just encourage the people in your life to do the things that are uncomfortable but might make

a difference. So yeah, Craig, it's just such a joy to talk to you. I always look forward to and I always sorry when these episodes come to an end. The first episode, the first recording, I was delighted when it came to an end, but now I feel different.

Super gracious and kind and so you're going to hear a fair bit of her, and we're going to we're consciously going to every time next year pick a topic. None of them are going to be We're not going to do one topic the same. So however many we do, how many are we doing next year? Did I can't remember I haven't looked.

I've actually which is very unme. I've created a ten week syllabus for the course because I'm normally just show up, but there's actually a ten week program. So you can go to my website, just going to Craig hupa dot net go into education, you can read about the program. You can read about each week what it's about, and you may or may not want to book in, but there it is. Jode, you might want to book in. You've got a lot of issues. I could probably give you a discount.