Cook, Good morning, Harper, All right morning, I'm very good. Thanks.
What have you been doing?
Just obsessing over my new toy if I'm honest?
Oh god, does the world need another conversation about your motorbike and your new muffler, your new loud motorbike.
I had to ring my uncle right before bed, just to tell him I was excited for tomorrow just to get up and find a minute to ride it again.
That's your uncle who's also a revheaders That correct?
That is correct? Because no one else, no one else in not very few in my world, get it. None of my girlfriends are going to give me the response I need, are they?
And your boyfriend who you say, isn't your boyfriend that owns the Indian? That isn't your boyfriend? And inverted commons? That guy has he's seen has he heard it yet?
Yeah? Of course, of course, yes, had to go straight round and give it a rev. Yeah.
And what about the motorbike right after?
Great, No, don't be silly.
Two birds, one stone boom, what do you what are you going to come out of the out of the darkness and into the light with that relationship? We're all I think you've evolved enough now we're all we're all grown up.
It's okay, there's no relationship.
There's no relationship. Does he know that?
Ship?
Does he know that?
Usually my relationships or imaginary harps, you know that, friends, imaginary husbands, that's where I do my best relationship work in my imagination.
In the theoretical world. But here in the physical world. Fucking nightmare.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, you know it's I think we can leave the the intimate and romantic relationships to the rest of the world.
They all seem to be.
They've got covered.
I'll tell you what I've done a little bit of. I've been doing some extra curricular coaching lately because of my mentoring group, and everyone in the mentor and group gets a one off sessh.
Yeah.
Need to be careful what I say next, because I'm not talking about any particular individual and no one knows. But let's just say that, by and large, not too many people are saying to me, oh, my relationship, that's terrific. It's not too many people that when we have a chat about the you know, the old partner, that's it's all glowing. In fact, quite often, Oh it's tough, isn't it. It's a very fucking that's why you and I have
dodged that for a long time. Maybe I don't know if we're smart or dumb.
I reckon relationships are funny because I reckon there's something that we don't realize, the work that's involved with them, and we want them to make us feel good. And unless they just naturally do meet us where we're and make us feel good, we just say they're shit or you know, like they're like everything else, like everything else, everything other area of our life. Usually when we want to make it better, we're ready to do the work
for us. But usually, yeah, it's only people that are quite evolved that go, I need to work on me or me and my relationship, me and my relationship.
Yeah, that is quite quite insightful for the motorbike riding Revent with all the commitment issues.
It hasn't had a relationship for forty two years.
That's all right, No, it's true though, but also both but if there's only one person who has that mindset, then that's not going to work either because both people need to be able to go, well, look, this is not a perfect relationship, which is normal. That's fine, and I'm not perfect, and you're not perfect. But let's individually and collectively work better or work consciously to whatever do
better too, you know. And by the way, is this something that we want to genuinely want to be in for the next however many years, or might we be better to amicably go our separate ways, or you know, like I think staying in My religious friends won't like
me saying this, but fuck it. I think staying in a relationship through some sense of guilt or obligation or and I know there are a myriad of variables around this, of course, and I'm not talking about a banning in kids or of course it's really tough, but if it's just you and the other person and no kids, and then staying in that when it ain't healthy or when it's somewhat toxic. But again, it's easier said than done,
and there are a lot of complications for people. I don't know why we opened that door, but I tell you what door we did open. Last time, had you and I had a chat, Do you remember we spoke about this idea of cults of thought and you said, I want to I want to have a chat about that.
Yeah, we were finishing on something profound. What was the point we got to where I was like, let's talk about that.
Well, I think we were talking about the way that we all see, you know, which we've spoken about many times, but the way that we all see the world through our lens, our filter, all of that. And also, you know very much when when you believe something emphatically, then you absolutely want that to be true because your belief
and your identity and your confidence usually all intertwined. And if that belief, if that belief turns out to be bullshit, then that can be very distressing emotionally and psychologically for people and even spiritually because they believed that was almost the basis for how they did life, and then you find out that thing is is perhaps not what you thought. But so I wrote a little something that I'm going to read right which I'm I'm turning into a video
later today. I've decided to do a couple of little videos. Did you see my little step up video that I did?
Sure did in the oasis.
Yeah, out in the bloody the jungle that is my front yard. It's like, it's funny when you and I'll come back to thought cults in a moment but I don't know. I mean, it hasn't gone viral, but I think on you know, collectively on Facebook and instrum, it's nearly twenty thousand views or something. And I'm like, it's funny, how just doing this little simple exercise where you're lifting yourself up onto a step, a high step in this case.
And then you go, well, this is working all the same muscles that you're doing at the gym when you're doing a squat in a rack or a you know, a leg press or a hack squad or and it's working your ass, it's working you quads, it's working your hamstrings. It's hip flexion, hip extension, deflexion, the extension. It's all the same anatomical movements. It's all the same muscles. And you don't need any equipment. You don't need to go anywhere.
And I had a few people send me emails, God, that's fucking so good, and I'm like, yeah, and that's so simple. Not the video is so good, but just that they go, oh, I don't need to I don't need to go to a gym. Like if you can go to a gym, it's good. But we can build strength, real strength, and real function pretty much with zero equipment.
What was really really interesting about that or good about that video is that you couldn't get a more simple exercise and you could google and like people, it's nothing. No one didn't know how to do. But what's great about it is information is not application, but the information you provided gives people a level of empowerment to be driven to do it because they get this understanding. It is quite scientific behind stepping up and down on a
fucking Yeah. And I find that interesting. Like google any at home workout and you get lunges or step ups. No one's running out doing them. Put a video up that empowers people to give a little bit more understanding and they want to buy into the process.
Yeah, And you think, like if you zoom out and you ask a hundred people, Hey, how many of you would like to have a stronger lower body? Like who's going to go No, who's going to go No? I want to be weak, I want to be wobbly. I want a saggy ass, I want weak, skinny fucking legs. You know who wants that? Nobody wants that. Yeah, Like you go, well, here's here's something that's free. It doesn't require much skill. And by the way, if this what I'm demonstrating is too hard, then make it lower. And
if that's too hard, make it lower again. And then when you get good at that low one, make it a little higher, and then over time graduate to this. And then even with the one that I did, which is quite a high step a little bit above knee height, you can still vary the speed. You can still hold some dumbbells or hold a kettle bell, or or if you don't have any of that, I can you know, carry a bag of groceries. It doesn't matter. Like you could do more reps, you can slow it right down.
You know, there are so many ways to create that kind of training effect and that adaptive response without No, you don't need to be a fucking biomechanist or a physiologist or a gym owner. You don't need a gym membership. But if you do this movement that works this muscle, these muscles, and you do it the right way, and you don't just do it for two days, but you do it all the days like you do it the next one hundred days, you're going to have an ass like a fucking Olympic athlete.
Well, you think about. You know, some people would go, oh, you can't build a lot of muscle with body weight, but then okay, we'll break your ankle and once you get your cast off in six months, have a look at the size of one of your legs just from walking on it.
One hundred percent one hundred percent. I guess, like one of the things. And this wasn't what I intend to talk about. We'll go to thought cults in a moment. But like when you do any movement, it's like when you, for example, if someone does a push up against the bench, you know where they're feed are on the ground, and you go, I'm leaning against the bench, which is weight waist height. Well, now you're doing essentially a version of
a push up or a bench press. Like biomechanically and anatomically, like what's happening when you do a push up is almost identical, just slightly different angle to what you're doing when you do a bench press. Now, if you can go well I can't do push ups? Cool? Well, can you do them against the wall, which is a very modified version. Then can you lower your hands so it's a bit harder? Then can you do it on a kitchen bench? Cool? Now, can you do it on a stool? Now?
Can you maybe do them on the floor from your knees? Now? Can you maybe do them from your feet? But just do a little movement and then eventually you graduate to where you're doing, you know, a highly modified intense version of the same movement, where now you've got one foot up on a chair and the other one in free space, and you're doing a push up and you're taking your chest to the ground and you're holding it for a count of five and then exploding up. So you're still
doing the same movement in a different way. But what you're doing is you're increasing stress on the muscle. In other words, you're progressing the overload so that your body has to adapt. But we can get one simple exercise that everyone understands, like a squat or a step up or a push up, and manipulate that motherfucker. So there's fifty different versions. You could give me an elite athlete.
I could train them in my front yard with no equipment and absolutely exhaust them, and they get up tomorrow and they're sow as fuck because they've done an intense workout and something that's a bit different. Saw in a good way, not a bad way everyone, you know. So, but the thing is that a lot of and this this is true for everything, Like back to your thing about working on a relationship, it's like, it's really, well,
will you just do that work? Because going out into my front yard doing step ups it's not sexy, you know, it's not glamorous. It's not like I'm in the gym using a million bucks worth of equipment with you know, all the music pumping and all the fucking razzle dazzle. I'm just out there in the bamboo on my pat malone, you know, me and the pandas in the bamboo.
Yeah, yeah, And it's all right, all right.
So we spoke about this idea of a thought cult, and so let me read to you what I wrote, which I'm going to turn into maybe into a video today, and then we can just kind of riff off that.
So thought cults are groups of all kinds religious, social, political, corporate, scientific, spiritual, where your membership in inverted commas to that group is dependent on your willingness to agree, to align and to conform to a prevailing philosophy, ideology, theology, and or set of rules, rituals, and behaviors, without question, without dissension, and without hesitation, to leave your critical thinking, your discernment, and your instinct at the door, in other words, kind of
to put your brain in a jar and go, I'm not going to think. I'll let them think and whatever they think, whatever the group thinks. So it's that consensual thing.
Your membership to the thought cult is contingent or dependent on your willingness to live in the echo chamber, to be more like them and less like you, to reject any idea or information that doesn't align with the prevailing doctrine, in other words, the way the group thinks, the way the group operates, what the group believes, and we have
very much. And I've been in these environments. I've been in these thought cults where if you don't believe, if you don't conform, if you if you have an idea or a thought that doesn't fit in, you're you know, you're at the very least criticized or discouraged and potentially punished.
The objective of all thought cults is to disempower and control you, to convince you that you are not enough, and that life outside the thought cult is certain death, not a literal death than a spiritual, social, psychological, and or emotional death. We are social creatures and pack animals and cult leaders prey on this very human inclination for us to want to be part of something, for us
to belong, for us to be part of group. So, if you belong to a group of any kind where you are discouraged, criticized, or even punished for thinking for yourself, for not agreeing, or for not being more like them than you are in a thought cult, and if you're in one, get out, And if you're not in one, don't fucking join. It's true, isn't it? And there are true you think about that in all contexts, even at a fucking dinner. I don't believe you voted for X
y Z. What the fuck's wrong with you? Well? How can you eat meat? You don't you know what your mother? I'm like cool you began, I'm not. I'm not trying to make you eat meat. Please don't try to make me eat fucking tofu. It's okay. We can coexist. I
don't need to be like you. I don't need to agree with you, and you don't need to be like me, And you don't need to agree with me, But I don't need to criticize you for your individual choices, and you don't need to criticize me or try to manipulate or control me into a certain way of thinking, because that's how you think. But that is very much how it works in the world.
Having an understanding that that is operating beneath the surface in everything's in it. And I was talking about it yesterday, and sorry to bring the bike up again, but that idea that when you're writing down the freeway and you ride past another rider the nod because there's this whole little club going on, it's like, oh, you're a writer. And I thought to myself, the same thing doesn't happen
when someone's driving the same car as you. But when I thought about that, I think about the time when I'm pulling up at work in my Toyota CHR and sometimes my client ten is pulling up in her Toyo to CHR. And if I think about that, there is a recognition and almost a level of connection that I kind of feel and go, oh, we like kind of we're the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something really minor and you have to really tune into it. But that's happening all the time with everything we do.
Mmmm, And that's like, that's good awareness. And look, I mean, by the way, there's nothing wrong with belonging to a group, Like we have a group page for the You Project. We've got three and a half thousand members in our cult.
You're a.
But I'm always saying, always, don't believe me because you like me, or believe me if you want, or agree with me if you want. Once you do your own thinking and your own research, and your own trial and error and your own kind of whatever, your own work. Like I'm what I'm going to do is I'm going to get on podcasts and I'm going to talk about how I think shit works. The end. This is how I think humans work. This is how I think bodies work. This is how I think you can train at home
with no equipment. This is you know, this is how I think a podcast could be done in a way to build connection with people. Let's make it organic, let's have a conversation, let's not script it, and we might
even create a plan that we don't fucking follow. Well done us, right, But and I would encourage people to to challenge what I think, but not criticize just like, well, if you want to criticize, you can, But I mean there's people criticize for the sake of criticizing versus all right, well, you think A and I think B. And while I don't agree with you, that's okay. But nothing in me is compelled to try to psychologically or emotionally leverage you to make you think the way that I think you
should think. Like the moment that that shit happens, and that shit happens all the time, alarm bell should be going off. And I mean this happens in families where everybody's got to think the same way and believe the same way, and we've all got to no, no, we all have to get together at Christmas and we all have to do this, and there's going to be a
fucking Chris Kringle and whatever. Right, that's very simple, you know, like whatever, it's cool and like I guess some things we go, look, it's not worth fucking ruffling any feathers I'm in. But then there are other things where you go, oh, I don't know, I don't know, like that's actually going to impact my life in some way, that's going to impact the decisions I make. That's going to impact how I eat, or how I move my body, or how I do relationships, or who I vote for, or the
kind of lifestyle that I create. If I have to, if I have to tick all of these boxes to stay in this group, and some of those boxes I don't want to tick. I want to cross or you can't, Craig, you can't cross that. You need to tick that because that's the price of admission, and that's the price of membership.
So you know, it's like when you when you think that that if you don't belong or when you think that, for example, if you do have your own opinion which doesn't align with the prevailing whatever, then you're going to in inverted commas get in trouble. Well that's a problem. That's a problem. It's like I just spoke to Vin. By the way, Vin said to say, loo to you, I Vin. I've in to Vinn and like he's he's one of my favorite people in the whole fucking world.
I love him. And Hey and I are really different. We're really different. We don't agree on everything. His dad, he's a granddad, he's got three kids. He's like a tradesman, he's an electrician. He's a blokey bloke. He lives in the country. He lives on fucking you know property, well not anymore actually, but you know, the whole kind of and he tongue in cheek. But for a long time he was basic. He used to look at my life and go, that's not a real job. That's not a job, dude.
The thing that you do not a job. And likes he kind of thinks that he doesn't really like. But it's like to him and I get it, and I get it, and I look at the way that he does life, I'm like, I would not I would not enjoy what you do because I'm not passionate about that. I don't want to do that. I don't have I don't have that kind of brain, I don't have those kind of skills. I don't want to be in that kind of environment. And that's not because he's doing anything wrong.
That's because I'm not Vin, and Vin's not me. But we can have disparate or divergent ideas, divergent beliefs, divergent lifestyle, but still have convergence of love and connection and friendship and respect. But where it seems like we're starting to live in a culture where we all have to think the fucking same thing to be friends or to love each other or respect each other.
I wonder what my life would look like if I had this awareness when I was late teens and just you know, leaving school and deciding what was going to be my life life. Because even with all the decisions I've made, and especially in later years, when I feel like I've done things, really i've really done things differently in my way, I haven't. Really. When I look at it, I'm like, I'm still bound by so much conditioning of this is what your options are like, No, your options
are anything in the world. Your options are like, yeah, sell up everything and buy a Cambra van and travel around the ludiest of the country and do podcasts from here and there and work in cafes along, Like that's an option.
Well, I spoke to a guy called Damon Hayhow last week who was on the show, and Damon, did you do that? No? You didn't do that one? No? And Damon's Diamond's a fucking that. That episode's called the Shitsterer because he's a shitsterer, but he's the opposite of a conformist, you know, and he's like, nah, doesn't work, Nah, don't believe it. Nah, you know. And the in Covid he moved to the other side of the world and just he found a place where he could, you know, for him,
live how he wants to live. And now he lives in Georgia, which orders Russia. And it was just so interesting talking to somebody who's just you know, and not just for the sake of being different, but has chosen his own kind of has his own ideology and philosophy, and he just lives that. I don't have his ideology or philosophy in terms of the exact same model as him. But nonetheless we could get together on a show, respect each other. I think he likes me, I like him.
We got on great and it's I find it fucking fascinating to talk to people who don't live like me, think like me necessarily look through the Craig window, which is everyone of course, but you know, and back to that old chestnut, seek first to understand. It doesn't say seek first to agree, seek first to be like, seek first to judge. It says seek first, just to fucking understand.
When you look at what the decisions you've made. Do you think you have for the most part, operated from a place of getting away from what you don't want or being or chasing what you do want.
That's a great question. I couldn't really quantify that, but I would. I don't know, but I think, I mean, I do talk about this concept which you've heard me talk about, of anti goals. So sometimes when I would like, I remember when I would first start doing kind of facilitating goal setting with people back in the day when I really was fucking I don't know, I wouldn't have paid to sit with me, but curiously, some people I would have fucking paid not to sit with me. But anyway,
I was making shit up as I went. But I do remember having, you know, some mild success with people and sitting with people going all right. So, and this was around, you know, when I owned gyms, and of course we would sit and have a consult and talk about all the fundamentals of you know, food and exercise and lifestyle and lifting heavy shits and changing their body and micros and macros and body composition and wait and
all of those variables. And then but more broadly, we'd zoom out to kind of life and happiness and purpose and like building a lifestyle, and like even like doing a job which is good for your health, Like even think about that, Like is your job good for your health?
There's a fucking podcast right there. And I used to say to people like, do you think overall, physically, mentally, emotionally your job is good for your health, bad for your health, or kind of in between, And more than half of the people go, it's from a mental and emotional point of view, it's not good because I don't love it, I don't like it. It's it's you know, all of these kinds of things. So I'd end up having philosophical conversations in answer to your question about what
they wanted. And I would say, so, you know, like what would be ideal for you? What would be your dream job or your dream situation or dream environment or whatever. And obviously, as I would have many times through my journey, they go, I don't know, Like I just know I don't want to be here. I don't have absolute clarity. I'm like, good, well, that's a starting point. Could we do the opposite? Could we figure out what you don't want? Right? And this is the process of like anti GOALSI okay,
do you want to wear a suit? If you asked me this, I would have gone no. If you had have said to me, do you want to work in an office? No? Okay? Good, well that cuts out a fucking million jobs.
Right.
Do you want to work nine to five or a version of that? No? Cool? Do you want to work in the CBD?
No?
Right? Do you want to have Do you want to sit in a fucking cubicle with Fluro's buzzing above your head?
No?
Good? Okay. Do you want to be a tradesman? No? Okay? Do you want to fix engines and shit?
Nah?
Right? So then you kind of get down and you go, well, what do I fucking want? Well, like, I'm kind of creative, I'm kind of curious, I'm kind of you know, so, so I think that kind of for me, I was early days kind of moving away from conformity and moving away from tradition and typical, you know, and not not because I wanted to be different or atypical, but just because what was the norm, what was typical, what was
common held zero appeal to me. Like the idea of just turning up for work, doing a job, having a boss in an environment, playing a particular role or a version of a particular role for the foreseeable fucking future. I'd rather punch myself in the face. I'd rather make half the money and do something that excited me.
I reckon our mind limits our ability to even recognize or think of the go to the what do I want to be? It's really easy to know what to identify what I definitely don't want. But I reckon most people get lost because we go, well, I don't know, but there's this umbrella over our brain's capacity to let you think of all the opportunities that are actually available to you, because there's so many limitations of oh but
I'm not this, I'm not that. And also, and for that reason, there's a lot of things we've never tried. I'd never tried podcasting. I didn't know how much I was going to love it till one day I just tried it. So I think trying different things is really powerful. But yeah, it's a really good point.
Think about this. I want you to think about this for a moment. So I have a mansion. In this analogy, I have a mansion, and there's there's a hundred bedrooms, there's one hundred recreational rooms, there's a gym, there's fucking playgrounds. It's the biggest house in the world. It's amazing this house. Right, And you have been living in one room your whole life. You've been in one room, and in that room, it's
pretty good. In that room. You know, you can do lots of shit, and you can eat, and you can live, and you can look on the internet and you can have limited experiences. Right, But all you have to do is open the fucking door to the room. And there are a thousand other rooms. There are all these rooms. I believe that most people's brain, and most people's thinking, and most people's existence is a version of that. We all have access to this myriad of rooms and spaces
and places and options and lessons. But we stay in a room, in a metaphoric room. We live in our little box. We don't get outside the box, and we think our box is the world.
If you that's so good. That is the best analogy. If you were me, from what you know of me, what door would you open in that mansion?
I just think, I don't like I just think having new and different experiences, like I truly think this hanging out with people who are not like you, hanging out with people who do not think like you, hanging out with people from different cultures and religions and mindsets, not so that you become them, but so you get away from a version of you. Most of us hang out with a version of us. Ergo confirmation bias, Ergo the
echo chamber, Ergo the cult of thought. Back to our starting point, right, But when I mean, he's not there anymore. But there used to be a guy called Muhamm across the road who worked in the cafe, who's a Muslim, And every day I would go get my coffee and I would say to him, teach me something from the Koran, or teach me something. Teach me like some kind of principle from your faith. Right, because I grew up a Christian, I grew up I've given like I've opened the Buddhism
door for a little bit of a squizz. I've opened quite a few doors. But I want to just And it's not because oh, I want to become a Muslim, or I want to become a Buddhist, or I'm looking into atheism, or oh I'm going to dive back into whatever it's like, no, here's a person who has a different culture, different life, a different way of living, different thoughts to I just want to pull back the curtain and see what's in his mind, right, seek first to understand.
And so I think, I think when we have new experiences and do new things, like out of that, not always, but sometimes out of that we go, oh my god, how long has this been here? Like for me doing a PhD? And you know, and I don't say that with any arrogance because I'm not, by the way, everyone in case you didn't get, I'm not very good at it, right, I'm I'm the fucking if they hand it out like ABCD in which they don't in p I'm a C student, right,
I just fucking I just you know, stumble along. But for me, it's like, oh, there's a whole new world of people that are not like the people that I usually hang out with, and they're really cool, Like they're kind of geeks, but they're cool. They're cool geeks, and they're not like me, and I'm not like them, and I'm not better or worse. I'm just not them and they're not better or worse. They're just not me. But I can learn from them. You know, you think about
and you've met Chris and Odko. Chris is my senior supervisor in my PhD. He speaks six languages. He was born in Romania. He grew up in Russia, not Romanian Mongolia, and grew up in Russia and France. He's got two PhDs. He's a professor. His wife, id Co also is a PhD. She's a doctor and doing another PhD. They are so nothing like me, as you well know. I mean, I'm at one end of what it is to be a human scale. They're at the other end. But I fucking love them and they are so good for me because
they're nothing like me. Their humor is not like mine, their personality, the way they communicate their language, the way they think, the way they do life, you know, and it's amazing. It's amazing, Like I don't want to hang out with people like me. I fucking spend too much time with myself anyway. You know. It's like, yeah, and I think that that willingness to stop trying to find people who tell you what you're not you I'm talking in general, stop trying to find people who make you
feel better about yourself. That's just fear and insecurity by people who disagree with you. And then go, what is that about. I'm not talking about people who are you know, violent and fucking outspoken and aggressive. I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about, Oh I believe this and you believe that? Can I just can we have a chat? What is that about? And you know, back to your other question about young you. I was just going to say,
I'll shut up after this. So one of the people in my mentoring group as a young guy called Ozzie, and I think I can say that. And Ozzie wants to be a professional surfer. So Ozzie's family live in wa. He lives in Queensland at seventeen by himself, just trying to get on the world circuit, right, and so he wants to be I mean, he wants to be the world champion. He wants to be the best surfer in
the world. Right. So now he's just a young, very very good talented athlete who's trying to figure out life and food and training and recovery and relationships and how to be like a kid but almost a man, not quite a man, not really a kid. It's a fucking messy time, right, And I was talking to him the other day because he missed one of our sessions. I love him, by the way, He's such a good kid. And he sent me a message, which I'm so proud of a seventeen year old sending me a message saying
can we talk? I'm like, fuck, what's seventeen year old? Does that for a start? Right, I'm like, of course we can chap. So we had a WhatsApp video call for about twenty minutes, and it really occurred to me as I was talking to him that while I can teach him and coach him and support him, and I do, he also needs to go through all the shit himself.
You know, he needs to get his heart broken three times fucking you know, eat some shit like fuck up, fall down, you know, get injured, recover, get disappointed, get devastated, win, lose, step up, step down, fall over.
You know.
It's like, yes, I can teach and coach and support and love, but really and that is good. That is good, but nothing takes the place of experience. Yeah, Like you can take that awareness or that that kind of theoretical understanding. It's like if I said to you, hey, TIF when you ride your bike, whatever you do, don't do this out on the road, Well then you you know, but then you've got to go and apply it to benefit from that. Ye.
So yeah, when you were talking before, you were describing exactly what I hadn't articulated or maybe even recognized. But prior to taking that recent trip to India on retreat, when people said what are you going for or what do you want out of it? My answer was I want to get away from all of the things that currently influence who I am. I want to leave this version of this part of my identity behind. And it just so what you were saying landed one hundred percent.
I was like, that's exactly what I was doing, you know. And when I came back, what's interesting is there was this huge identity shift because I was able to park that. But what was interesting once I remember recently thinking what
what could I what hobby could I do? Maybe I could do something creative or you know, I really enjoyed that a couple of years ago, that short little improv workshop, and I was like, that's not a me thing to do, because the me thing to do was always I spend a million hours in the gym I do my boxing
and my boxer I do fitness. So there was this container around the ideas of what I might do next that was boxing myself in to Oh, well, I guess jiu jitsu would be the thing because that's almost the same, that's what someone like me would do. And it's like, hang on.
Ah, that's so interesting.
Yeah, And that peeled away and now I'm like, oh, like I could do in problem. Maybe I could go and do an art course or maybe like what else could I do with all that time I now have because I'm not doing that side of training?
Do you know similar to this? You know Lisa Stevenson who owns the coach Place, right, you know Lisa? Yeah, so Lisa, Happy birthday, Lisa. Lisa's turning fifty on the weekend. She probably fucking shoot me dead for saying that. Sorry, Lisa, but she's turning fifty on the weekend and she's having a big shin dig up in I think Byron Bay
or something. But so Lisa's been on the show. Everyone but Lisa's Lisa's she would admit, you know, she's a girly girl, right, She's like or a lady lady right, she's you know, fucking hair and makeup and nails and you know, fine dining and wine and you know, beautiful dresses and fashion, and you know, like she loves all that very you know for me, I don't know what you call it, but you know that she loves all that refinery and all that whatever. And then about might
be two years ago. Now she rang me and she goes, guess what. I go what? She goes, I got my motorbike license. And I'm like, yeah, what, I'm like, you what? You what? I'm like, No, you didn't that you're not a motorbike license. Getting person like you don't get your motorbike And what is funny is like I can't remember what precipitated it right now. So she's got a she's got a scooter, but she's got a big which like
relatively a big school. She's got a three hundred cc Vespa, which is like, considering scooters start at fifty cc, it's quite a you know, it's a reasonably powerful scooter, like you can comfortably ride on the freeway at one hundred or one hundred and ten whatever the limit is, right, Yeah, And it's so funny because she and This is more my judgment than anything. You go, oh, she's not that. Oh she fucking loves it and it's so not her.
But she has said so many times one of the best things I've ever done, Like how weird is that, you know, one of the best things I've ever done was I went and got my motorbike license And you know, I sent her a message the other day to say, you know, happy birthday because she's gone away and all that, and yes, she was telling me that her son's got a motorbike, one of her sons, and she's just gone for a big ride with her son down the coast, and I'm like, buck, yeah, you know, I think when
you open that like even even you know, using it's not about motorbikes, but just having a different experience. The amount of people. Remember I've had a motorbike on the road since I was eighteen, so that's forty three years. I've taken more than one hundred people who kind of didn't really want to go, but they were a bit curious. They were like three out of ten curious, seven out of ten terrified, and then they got back there like that's it, that's it. I'm getting a motorbike or that's it.
Take me again? Where can we go? Now? Can you take me on the fast one? Now that's what people say, can you take because I've got a few motorbikes, I take them on the gentle one so we can just tinker. Then they're like, oh, want to go on the fast one. I'm like, you don't, but you know, but it's funny, and the point is just having a new experience can like blow your mind.
But look at how we prime others because of our identification of them. So you're the way you speak to and treat li, so it keeps her in that identity. So you're the motibike guy who she would have conversations with and would be reading body language and even on a tiny level, that would reinforce her belief that I'm not a motorbike person. Yes, yes, we do that and intentionally all the time.
Ah, completely agree, completely agree. And you know a nas n in that famous author that I've quoted a thousand times, we don't see things as they are. We see things as we are.
Yeah, yeah, you know we're.
Always looking through the tiff lens, the Craig lens, Like, well, I don't see reality I don't see reality. I see my version of reality. And one of the myriad of problems in society today is that everyone thinks that their reality is the in inverted commas capital thchg reality. No, dude, it's not the reality. That's just how you see it.
And when you can recognize the distance between your subjective interpretation or your story and the otherwise meaningless event or situation or whatever, when you can see the space between what's happening and your story, then you start to get
an awareness bigger than you. Then you start to get a real kind of self awareness and social awareness and situational awareness where you go, ah, I'm just living in this fucking room in this mansion, and I think the room is the mansion, but it's just the room, you know, And then you go, ah, the mansion. You're like fuck. Then you get in a drone and you go up from the mansion and you realize there are a fucking billion mansions and then you zoom out and you go, oh, fuck,
that's just a billion mansions in one country. Oh my god. So we're literally living in a fucking drop of water in an ocean of possibilities, thinking that our drop of water is the fucking ocean.
And zoom out even further. You just made me visualize in my mind sitting at the top of the Himalayas and going, fuck, I'm here for a heartbeat. Nothing even matters, what the fuck's right, nothing matters. These mountains are going to be here for millions, billions, right, and I'm going to be dead in a moment.
And we all think we're fucking special, but we're just one of eight billion. Yeah, you know, I'm not trying to be but it's like, not that you're not special, but it's like there's another eight billion of here, so not that special, you know, same with me. It doesn't mean that you're not special to someone, doesn't mean you're not precious to someone, But in the context of humanity, you and me are fucking belly button fluff, you know.
Yeah, And realizing that even becoming aware of this stuff, this high level thinking, doesn't excuse you from it. Like even when you become aware of your bias, aware of choosing your beliefs and your thoughts, you still walk out into the street and whatever that current days programming of focuses is what you'll see and how you'll think about it, and probably and you'll still grapple with parts of it that you don't want to be focused on the way
you are. Yeah, or you can go too far the other way, like you're still a product of the unconscious thinking.
Yeah, I mean we me included, you included. We're all biased. We think we're not biased. You know. The idea of thinking that you are completely open minded and objective demonstrates your lack of understanding of how the mind works, because you can't be because if you have any pre existing ideas or beliefs, or values, or experiences or prejudice or bias, which we all do, then you can't be objective. You could be more or less objective about certain things that
you may know more or less about. Like if you said to me, harps, I want to tell you what is the best fucking way to knit a cardigan? I'm like, I'm sure, I'm in so I know fucking nothing. You know. It's like, but if I'm a knitter and I'm all over knitting and wool and fucking needles, I'm sorry, ladies or men. I apologize even then saying ladies like the fuck of course, not only you know, It's like this
is the thing, you know. It's like we have we have so much a programming, like from from now until whenever whoever's listening to this, from when you were born, or from when you could comprehend anything, from when you could process any data on any level, understand on any level until these words that I'm saying now, Between then and now, you've been program trained, conditioned, And that's cool.
So have I. And it's not about undoing that. It's about recognizing that, you know, because you know, the beginning of real awareness, as I've said twenty times on this show, is to recognize our lack of awareness. To become more conscious, we have to acknowledge how unconscious we are. You know. That is the epitome of conscious living. Is to realize that you are, day by day, for better or worse, consciously or not, shaping and designing and inhabiting your own
version of reality. Now, whether or not you're making decisions or you're just responding to the decisions and behaviors of others is the key, because if you are just a passenger on the U bus rather than the driver of the U bus, then your life will definitely not look the way you want it. To look and be the way you want it to be. And this is where it is so easy when your life already has a level of momentum, which every life does. It's like a
river flowing. Like the river keeps flowing, the river doesn't stop like it's flowing, and your life has an energy, has a life force, and it continues whether or not you're consciously acting upon it or not. You know, you get out of bed, everything's still, you know, like the coffee shops still there. People are still doing their shit. My mum and dad are still getting up in the
tro valley doing their thing. You're over there and wherever the fuck you live, doing what you do, and everything keeps I don't know, everything keeps outward, everything keeps happening. Done you take me ten years, you know all that you know, and we kind of step in and out of that inertia, that flow, that energy. But in order for you know, for me to go, well how I would like my life to look and operate in a year from there, well, then I've got to act on
that flow. I've got to inject my energy into what is already there, you know. And this is where we start to live intentionally not unintentionally, where we are just almost a character in our own story. As I've said many times, I feel like we covered some ground.
I love it. Sometimes I think so deeply about this stuff it feels like my brain implodes on itself and I have to just pack up and go. Look, just go go for a walk. This is where are you're even going.
Sometimes we talk and I think do we actually say anything that's going to help anyone? And I think no, And then I think, well did we? But it's like it's really just without bringing out that old chestnut too much, but it's just meta cognition. It's just thinking about how we think. It's thinking about how we think. It's thinking about how others think. It's having self awareness in the moment. You know, if it's been great, and please stop sending me photos of puppies for adoption.
What do you think of this morning? She's a bit curio, isn't she.
Oh she's very cute. She sent me a picture this morning. It's a labrador pit no staffy cross.
You needs a strong handler.
It needs very cute face.
Yeah.
I couldn't see the body though. I couldn't. Oh my god, do you know what I this is probably for off the but fuck it, let's do it on the podcast. Hey, every one, you're welcome. When I get I should even post it in the group. I'll post in the group. I think, Oh, it's such a funny looking dog. I'll send it to you. You will send me back ten laughing faces. It's a cross between a Labrador, so it looks exactly like a lab right lab face, lab coat, and a corgy. So it's like a lab that's fucking
three inches off the ground. You know those cars where they take out the springs and they lower them. It's like the labrador that's been taken into the shop and lowered, and he's instead of his legs being like a foot long, they're like fucking three inches. Oh it's the cutest, weirdest looking thing ever.
When I was little, I had a dog called Rocky and it was I don't know what it was, but maybe across a dashhound cross, beagle cross, maybe Jack Russells. Had this stumpy, big long body and these two stupid little legs that it couldn't hold with a kind of a Jack russelly but round a face. God, he was cool. I taught him to beg too, you know, they've got the long bodies and he looks so funny.
Okay, now I'm going to send I'm going to send this to you on air right now, just because I want you to Oh my god, I want you to have a look in real time. I'm going to send it to Team typ send. This is a terrible thing to do. And if you're ever hosting a podcast, anyone, it's gone to you. Do you ever host ever.
Host exactly the body shape of Rocky?
How cute is that little motherfucker? Look at him?
Oh my god, s cross labrador for sure.
Yeah, that's why. That's what it says, corgy cross labrador, and they call them a corgodor. Oh god, look at his little face and his weirdy little legs. We want to squash his Oh all right, everybody that'll do over and out.