#1697 Speaking 'Ron' - Harps & Tiff

It's Melbourne Cup Day, TIF cook over there at typ Central. Hey, what did you do today on Melbourne Cup Day? Oh?

then tonight my coaching group. And it feels like I feel like I'm on a holiday, which is weird, isn't it.

seems really weird. But maybe it's in my mind. Maybe it's not, but my experience, whether or not it's created by me, or it's created by something external to me, but my experience when I go and I sit out there, and just to give you a picture, everyone, So I live in suburbia, but I live on the main road, and I've got bamboo trees that are I would think about ten to fifteen meters tall, like fucking hall and I've got hundreds and hundreds of them, and it basically

forms what doesn't Basically it forms a green kind of border around my house. And when I sit down there at the bottom of those trees, it's like, and I lay back in my chair and I look up, I just see this blue sky enveloped by these green trees, and for me, it feels like a little energetic buffer from the chaos beyond the other side of the green. Because the other side of the green is cars and buses and trucks, fucking motorbikes and cafes and businesses and

concrete and bitumen and mayhem. But in that little sanctuary, it's just I don't know, it's just something whether or not that's a byproduct of my thinking or a byproduct of what the trees actually do for me or to me. Either way, I fucking love it.

walking down the street. I was one hundred meters from home. I just headed off for a walk and I'm wearing headphones and listening to something and I kind of think I hear my name, and then I see a bloke in a van screaming my name or waving at me and calling my name, and so I take my headphones off and he goes, you're a fucking legend like this, So no one knows who he is. So I'm not throwing anyone under the bus anyway. So I go over and and like, there's a guy who follows my stuff.

And he was very complimentary and great dude, and it just it just like you know when you're about to all of a sudden, and I love people and I'm very grateful that people want to connect with me. So there's no you know, resentment in any of this. But you know when you're about to go and do something

and then you're like, man, now, I'm not. Now I'm standing at the window of a van talking to a bloke who then very quickly went from you know, you're a fucking legend to quickly telling me about his life and a few things, which is fine, it's completely fine. But then you know, in the moment, you're like, and now I'm doing this. And then that was yesterday. Then the day before, another guy like, literally, this is just that I don't know well, but I know who he

is and he knows who I am. And I walked out my side gate and he was he was walking towards my house, just coincidentally or past my house, and he went he yelled out, and I went, yeah, and I kind of, you know, I know him, but not great. And then he's he laughed because he was listening to me while I was walking, and then he said, you know, like, can I talk to you? And then I'm like, yep. So we stood on the corner of fucking whatever and whatever for ten minutes and then do you reckon we

could catch up yep. And all of that is good and I love that, but you know, and lots of speaking and lots of coaching, and every time I go to the cafe, which is cool. Lots of people say hello, and not because I'm a big deal. I'm not. But you know, if I'm sitting there by myself every morning, at least one person will just sit opposite me to talk for a minute or two, and ninety percent of the time they want to tell me about something that's going on in their life, and I'm okay with that

as well. Sometimes just say low. My long winded point is because I live by myself, and because you can't get to my front door, like I have a property with gates with locks, so you can't, and there's no intercom, there's no buzzer, so you can't even fucking you know, even you couldn't rock up and just unless you know, you're going to scale some much higher than new fence and look like a fucking criminal. So for me, it's like that, I love Okay. Now I'm here, I'm talking

to you, I'm connecting with you. I'm investing mental and emotional and physical energy in you, and I'm all about you. And it's like I did a session the other day with a lady who have done two sessions with and we're talking about this, and I said, look from seven o'clock to eight o'clock on this particular day, I said, every second of every minute of this hour is about me serving you. That's literally my job for this hour, right,

And that's all good. But you can't do that, yeah, twenty four hours a day, like you have to go like you need your little space, you need your cave, whatever your metaphor, for that happy place or that calm place. You know. I need my cave. I need to be able to get behind the wall. I need to turn the off. I need to not talk. I need to not solve a problem. I need to not answer a question. I need to not think about fucking human behavior or

psychology or my PhD or I need you know. And it's not all the time, but if there's not that swing of the pendulum, you know, we're going to end up being a five out of ten version of ourselves. Well not only ourselves but everyone. I think, so that self awareness around how can I regulate and how can I manage me? And how do I you know, what's what's my I used to call it with my trainers. I used to have this term called your shit threshold, and your shit threshold is essentially how much work can

you do? And specifically to my trainers, it was how many training sessions can you do per day before it turns to shit? So if you can only do three great sessions, then I don't want you to do four, right because everyone's paying the same So if they're not getting the same product, well they shouldn't be paying the same dough and they should be getting the same product. So stop at three. If you can do nine, well great,

do nine, but don't do ten, you know. So I think that you know, burnout's real, exhaustions real, but understanding having that level of self awareness to know how do I best manage me? What do I need? Because it's great to be a servant, and it's great to have a purpose bigger than you, and it's great to be in that kind of transcendent self mindset, so you are of value and service and all that to others. But at the same time, if you're fucked, will you know good to anyone?

how many good podcasts can I do? And how many how many presentations can I do and how many you know, It's like sometimes when I get a gig, which is a whole day, I'm very aware of doing everything that I need leading up to that one day event so that I optimize my chances of being the absolute best version of me from minute one, because being switched on and focused and awesome for ten hours is almost impossible.

Hopefully it's not a gas mask. Yeah, it's I think of the mums that we talk to that are burnt out and they're worrying about everybody else, and it's like you're doing it and you're and it's and you can't function at the best if you don't, if you don't have a little bamboo, bloody oasis, a little metropolis.

a people pleaser. You know, you can be kind and a little bit terrifying, and you know all of that kind of how do I look after me so that you know, and even on a physiological level, you know, how do I optimize my physiology my sleep, my food, my energy, my exercise, my posture, my brain health, my all of that. How do I optimize that? So I can be a good leader. I can be a good teacher, I can be a good podcaster, I can be a

good student. I could be a great parent. So I'm not a prick to be around because I get up every day and I'm four out of ten because I'm not sleeping well and I'm eating shit, and I'm not looking after my body and making bad decisions, and now my physiology is not good, and my psychology and my emotional system can't be optimal when it's living in a body that suboptimal, you know. And that's that, you know, back to that well worn verbal path of mind, that

nothing operates in isolation. It's like mind, body, emotions, one system, not three. And so if you think that your mind doesn't affect your emotions, or your emotions don't affect your mind, or either of those things don't affect your body, you don't understand how the fuck you work. So it's how do I coregulate and co manage all of this stuff

that equals me? You know? All right? So I wanted to among other things, well, we didn't we don't really plan with these, but I did want to talk to you about this idea that I thought would be good to just share with our listeners, because I think it's

a very relevant Is it a skill? I guess it's a skill or ability, could be a trait could be all of that, And that is our ability to understand how others think, and perhaps more importantly, to understand how they communicate and what kind of communication works with them

and for them. And the example that I gave to you before we went live was I said, you know, it's like with my dad, Because my dad is an eighty five year old man who was born in the first year of the Second World War, and he's seen a lot and been through a lot, and he's going through a bit right now and physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, my Dad's not me and I'm not him, and so he sees the world a certain way, and he communicates

a certain way and thinks a certain way. And so because I want to have respect and trust and rapport and good communication and good connection with my dad, I need to speak Ron. I need to learn the Ron language right. And if I speak Ron to Mary my mum, it doesn't work. And if I speak Mary to Ron, it doesn't work. And I know how to make Mum feel good, and I know how to make Dad feel good. I know how to alleviate fear for Dad and reduce fear for Mom. If not alleviate, reduce fear for both

of them. I know how to build connection quickly with both. And it's not the same way, you know, I know what will make Mum laugh or chuckle will annoy Dad. You know, there's certain language, believe it or not. I can be more what's the word unrefined? I guess around Mum. Mum's cool with it. Dad's not cool with it. Dad's more of a prude than Mum, right, which is cool. So there's certain stuff I would tell Mum that she would laugh at or be fine with, but I would

not tell Dad because he would be uncomfortable with that. Right. So all this equals, you know, realizing that you know, the only person that looks through our windows us, the only person that has our absolute, unequivocal, one hundred percent of the time worldviews us. And so if I want to connect with Ron, I need to speak Ron. If I want to connect with you TIV versus Melissa, who also is a probably the most important part of the team. But the way that I would like and nothing even

comes to mind. But let's say I had an issue with you, which I don't. But let's say if I had an issue with you, the way that I would go about talking to you about that issue would be different to the way that I would do it with Melissa,

Because you guys are different. You have different personalities, you have different ways of communicating, you're you know, you and I are more alike than Melissa and I are alike in the sense that you're more of an extrovert than her, albeit not necessarily innately, but you're more extraverted these days because of what you do, and you and I are you know, probably have that cheekiness about us and all

of that stuff that is not really Melissa. So me connecting with her is a matter of me understanding her, as it is with you. And so this this capacity to understand how other people think, which I've shared a lot already, which is called in psychology, it's called theory of mind, and theory of mind essentially speaks to this notion that we have an insight into the reality in the moment, the emotional slash psychological experiential reality of another human.

And the reason that's important is because it is the underpinning of connection. So if you've got if you're talking to someone and you have no idea about them or what they think or how they think, or what their story is or what their experience is in the moment, then at the very best you're guessing. You're guessing, which is okay, because you know, even I'm guessing sometimes when I absolutely when the person in front of me is a clean slate to me, like, I've got no idea

who I'm talking to. But what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to get data as quick as possible so I can figure the person out a little bit, you know. So I feel like that for you in your job, Like you've got your group tonight. I don't know how many have, doesn't matter, But let's say you've got ten. Then you've got ten personalities, You've got ten different people, You've got ten different expectations, ten reasons for being there. You know, ten people that are interpreting you

differently in their own unique way. And then in the middle of that, you've got to talk for two hours or an hour and a half or whatever it is, and with these ten different people who have different reasons for being there and different personalities and different experiences of you. In the middle of that, you've got to think, how the do I create a version of optimal connection with all of them at once? Yeah, because they're all speaking a different language in inverted commerce.

and I wanted to I did. This wasn't a presentation, but the theme of the night was So last night was week nine for my mentoring group, and next week obviously it's the last week, week ten, but the theme of the night was great ideas to build a life on right, and they were just you know, like ask intelligent questions. You know, there's a relationship between the quality of questions, quality of decisions subsequently, quality of action subsequently,

and then the quality of outcomes. Like if the starting point is asking a question, then the better the question, the rest is also better, so to speak right then and so on. But one of the things I wanted to talk about, which I haven't spoken about a lot on here at all, not for any reason in particular,

like I didn't try to avoid it. But I don't know why this will sound a bit weird, but I not even through working on it, but through I guess, through not consciously working on it, but through subconsciously having these moments of awareness and profound gratitude from experiences that I've had, people that I've met, situations that I've been in, And I spoke about going to South Africa and you know,

spending time there years ago. I'm working with babies newborn through to five year olds who were either HIV positive or had full blown AIDS and you know, just that time that I spent there, and there's I could do a whole podcast on what that was like. But among many other insights, one of the insights I realized was, or one of the insights that I had, was that I am profoundly lucky that I was born when I was born, where I was born, to the parents I

was born to, and I deserved none of it. I was just fucking lucky, Like I didn't deserve to be born into relative privilege, which I was. You know, we weren't rich by any means in Australian standards. We were fucking probably at bottom of the middle class, right, but compared to many, many, many people in the world. I was born into wealth, you know. And and I was thinking about, how do I talk about living with an attitude of gratitude without sounding naff or cheesy or cliche,

because it's kind of cliche. But I thought, I'm just going to share with them some of my gratitude practices. And so can I share them with you now?

phone calls are going to stop. I know that there'll be a day where Mary won't pick up the phone and I have no fucking idea how I will cope. But that is not now, and there will come a time when I will probably do anything to have one more phone call, you know. But I can have the phone calls now, and so that whatever it is my higher self, that internal that whatever. I'm just like, I am so lucky that my mum answers the phone. I'm so lucky that I get to spend time with her

and my dad. I would say, Dad, but Dad doesn't fucking answer the phone, right, right, right, But you know, and then there's and there's two other things that I do. Every time I come up the stairs at my house. Every time I see I say under my breath or out loud, thank you every time. And the reason I do it is because I can walk upstairs. I know, I know lots of people who either really struggle to walk upstairs, like our friend John Ye for whom it's

or he can't walk upstairs. And then you know other friends that I have that quadriplegics or paraplegics that will never you know, like Joel, our friend Joel Sardi who's been on the podcast, who you've spoken with at events. I've spoken with Joel, We love you. You know, he

doesn't have the option. And so the thing is that like I can get out of this chair that I'm in when we finish this, I can stand up, Like some people would give Nelli everything they own to be able to just stand up from a chair, and then take three steps and then five steps. Well, I don't even think about it. I just get up, I walk downstairs. I make my dinner. Right And speaking of downstairs, my last gratitude that I use a lot is that I

turn on the tap and I say thank you. Because they don't know the exact number, but in terms of taps. But what I do know is that two point two billion. Get your head around that two point two billion people in the world do not have access to clean water. That's over a quarter of the people on the planet. Let alone have a fucking tap where they can just turn it on and I can. You know, it's like right over my head. It is an air conditioner and

a heater. I can push a button and in a minute there's going to be cool air coming at me. I can push another button, it's going to be heat. I can walk downstairs. There's a fridge full of food, there's a pantry full of food. I can turn on a tap and there's cold water. I've got my choice of fucking showers in this house. You know, I'm privileged. And then, and I know I've kind of digressed, but I was talking to them about just how different is life.

How amazing is the unamazing when you look through that lens, when you go, fucking hell, I can walk, Oh my god, I can walk. I can walk, I can turn on a tap, I can talk to my mum. Fuck, how great are these things? You know? If you said to me a year after my mum's died, you can have six with your mom, or six days with your mom, or you can have your house in Hampton, I'll go, fuck, give me the six days, fuck the house. I'll figure it out. Give me the six days. Right, But I

don't need to make that decision now. But I don't have the gratitude, Like, what is that about? Why do we have to wait till shit goes before we realize how fucking amazing what we already have is mind blowing. We have so much shit to be grateful and thankful for, but we look past all the good things to find that one thing that's not up to standard, and that's what we focus on.

do anything. And I just remember how hard it was for him to do things that for me, you know, something that for him was a fifteen out of ten, hard for me was a zero, and me feeling guilty.

And then I realized guilt didn't serve me, so I switched it to gratitude, and then I just went, you know, and you know you've seen me work with him, and you know how much I love him, and like I have trained him now thousands of times over six years, and my overwhelming feeling towards him is gratitude that I am allowed to work with him, because he has done more for me in terms of gratitude and self awareness and joy and fulfillment and purpose maybe than any other

work I've done in the last six years. You know that the work that I've done, and I will say, of course the crab has done with him, where you know, this person that just needed love and encouragement and support and people to believe in him. Now drives to the gym and walks into the gym. He doesn't walk the best, but he walks, and he walks with his sticks and

he's a bit fucking wonky. But the wonky walk with the sticks is like an Olympic gold medal, all the gold medals compared to where he was and his prognosis, you know. And so for me, it's like, I truly I take nothing for granted. Well that's not true. I probably do that I'm unaware of. But you know, I'm like, I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for Melissa. I'm grateful that I was, you know, lucky, I was born in the country I was born, and I live in a

great area. You know, I'm touch would relatively healthy. You know, there's I always I've said this to Melissa many times. If I complain about my problem, my life punched me in the face because I'm the problem, you know, And you've heard me say that, And so I just think that that and that's that. You know that looking through that gratitude lens is you know, it's it changes our reality. Yeah,

you know. So anyway, that was a very long winded explanation of how I like to use metaphor and story to build connection, you know, but like when you open that door and you talk about your experience, like right now, I would think I could be wrong, but some of our audience would go like that affected them more or impacted them more or made them think more than if I just went Hey, research tells us that being grateful is really actually good for your life and for your

mental and emotional health. You know. But when you goes so, here's part of my story or here's my insight, here's my experience. You know, as long as you're sharing that, you know, the idea or the concept or the strategy or whateverever it is, but it's in a way that resonates with people. Then, Like we were talking a minute

ago about understanding how other people think. So not everyone is like this, but the majority of people connect more with story and humor than they do data, which is why you and I might get on here and talk about just our stories and our journeys and what's going on, and we're not presenting any fucking high level science, but people will stop you or stop me and go fuck. I love that episode, Like it's just it reminded me of this, or it made me feel that, or it

brought these things up for me. And I think that's the when you can almost be a fly on the wall in someone's conversation and it's a real conversation. It's not a choreographed here's my question, what's your answer, here's my next question, what's your next answer? For me? That's which suits me because I'm too lazy to plan shit and script shit, so that suits me full disclosure. But you know, I think that's how people connect.

just for the purpose of connection. And every single one I could have said, you and me are the same, and we're completely different, completely different stories, completely different, but there were parts of each story where I just went you and me we're exactly the same. And it's amazing.

Everyone wants to be safe, everyone wants to be happy, everyone wants to be loved, Everyone wants to be seen and connected and valued, and everyone wants a life that has some kind of purpose and reason, you know, And what all of those things look like all the individual will vary, but the motivation or the driver is the same. It's like, put up your hand if you want to be happy, well, fucking who's not putting up the hand, you know, it's just trying to figure out where that.

Put up your hand. If you if you don't want to be anxious, all the hands, you know, put up your hand. If you want to be treated well and loved and valued and respected, all the hands you know, of course, And then I think it's just figuring out well, what does that mean for me? Where does that live for me? And what am I currently doing that is at odds with those things? I just put my hands

up for or my hand up for, you know. And this, I guess comes back to the chat that I the solo chat that I did three or four weeks ago. I think the episode was called Intentional Living, which is just about, you know, literally designing your life as much as it can be designed. You know, it's like, well, where do you want to work, what do you want to do? What you know? What kind of health state do you want to have? What kind of body do you want to live in? Do you want to do

you want to live in the country? Do you want to live in the city? Do you want to Are you a creative? What does that look like? What are you going to do with your creativity? Do you want to optimize your talent? Do you want to waste your talent? Do you want to? And what is optimizing your talent look like? And what's the data telling you now? Like? What what results are you currently producing that are good and fucking terrible and somewhere in between, and you know

the terrible ones. Do you want to do something about that how will you do it? What's your plan? What's your accountability? What happens when you're not motivated? You know, all those kind of fundamentals of like it's all well and good to listen to you and me, and it's all well and good to go to self help, whatever's read books and you know, but there comes a point. I've been saying this to my group for nine weeks now that doing a mentoring program with me is not

the answer, which sounds of course. The answer is what you do as a result of these sessions. The answer is you. The answer is your work. The answer is your courage, The answer is your choices. The answer is your ability to keep fucking doing what you haven't kept doing up until now, because that like the work is just the work, and listening to a podcast is cool and easy, but the ship we need to do is not always cool or easy.

and doing work around that. Like, I think that there's all the information in the world in podcast yours mine, and people probably far smarter and more evolved than both of us combined.

a podcast. I'm just going to say it. My question was it wasn't a doubt, but my question was I wonder if she can kind of maintain that, because that's that's a big shift. And I would ask that of myself too. If I went away and I came back and I was like, I'd had a bit of a profound or somewhat profound time, which you did, I think, then the challenge is, yeah, is how do I kind of and of course you're going to have peaks and troughs and you're going to be a human, But how

do I kind of maintain this? And then because I'm not sitting on a mountain, I'm not in India, I'm not having those dn ms with those beautiful people. I'm back in the fucking city with the pollution and the traffic and that dickhead in the car next to me who called me a prick because I rode my motorbike between two cars and it I nearly hit his mirror.

or physical. You will probably change in all of those areas, But for me, the spiritual path is, you know, like gratitude is a spiritual practice kindness, having a transcendent experience of life where you've got genuinely a purpose bigger than you and I you know, you know me, I've always been somewhat spiritual, like the spiritual guy who says fucking cunt, right,

you know. But it's like at least people know what they're getting, Like I'm not trying to be the Dalai Lama, and yes I am my number one value in life love, but I am also a cunt sometimes I'm not trying to be. But am I ever addicted? Do I ever get trapped in my own bullshit? Or ego. Yes I do. But at least with me, you will know what you're getting because I am not going to pretend i'm something I'm not. Right.

don't necessarily mean romantic connections. It could be, but just that intimate relationships, those intimate relationships with people, And by intimate I mean close, like I have intimate relationship with my mum. You know, it's just means in this context, I'm talking about close, very familiar, like you would pretty much do anything for those people. So I see that

shifting in you. I see less ego in you right where you don't need people's approval as much as you did because and this is probably psychological growth, but you are more comfortable and confidence than you were right when

I first met you. You were very unsure, very uncertain, which is like that was quite a long time ago now, but there's been a real shift in all of those things, and you know, it's growth, it's growth, and there of course you know, and you know, and I know that there have been moments where you and I have had a fucking three minute well we've never really even clashed, but we've had a few moments where you've gotten bothered about something or I've gotten bothered about something and there

was a brief moment. But there's probably been I don't know, two or three moments in six years, and those moments didn't last very long. But the thing is, you know, we're always going to be working around each other, as in I mean us humans working around each other and always, you know, It's like I did a podcast three or four days ago called I'm wrong, and just that not only the willingness, but the I guess the want to be able to go, oh, I'm wrong, I got that wrong.

I did that wrong. I am the problem with this particular thing. I'm not always the problem, but with this I was the problem. And look, I get what you were saying, and that was my fault. I'm sorry. And I think that you know, when you get past and

I don't mean you, I mean all of us. But when you get past the need to be right and the need to look good, and the need to win an argument and the need to be seen as smart, that one that is very fucking liberating, because that's a heavy emotional and psychological burden to carry, that you've got to be right all the time and you've got to

know all the time. I used to think that. But then also the add on benefit that you don't think will like what you think will happen is once you open this door of vulnerability, you know, people are going to know how fucked in the head you are, and people are just going to vanish in reality. They go, oh my god, thank you. I do that too. I'm a version of you. I'm an overthinker, I'm a self doubter,

I'm a self loath I'm a self saboteur. Not all the time, but sometimes, And oh my god, thank you because the bloke who's hosting the podcast or the girl who's hosting the podcast is essentially me in a different role. And that's you know, that's back to coming full circle to where we started. That's how you build connection as well.

I'm very hard on. Like I might do a gig, that I might do a presentation that other somebody might go, well, fuck, that was amazing. That was a nine out of ten. I'm like, nah, that was a six. Here's five things I could have done better. You know, I have that propensity, and I'm trying to deal with that. But I think, you know, just quickly as we wind up that you know that I think when you use the term spiritual, people get confused or scared or freaked out or weirded out.

And so you know, oh, here's something I've never told you about. Five years ago or four years ago, I sent a message to ten of my friends. I did this as a little project. And ten of my friends who are either you probably remember this, but they're either pastors in churches or their rabbis, or they are you know, the their Buddhists, or their Muslims or the you know, they are people who are you know it, potentially in a role of leadership in some spiritual and or religious capacity.

And I said to them, all of them, can you please write in your words, without doing any research or looking any thing up or repeating anything that you've wrote learned. I don't want you to repeat something that you got trained to say. I want, in your words, in your understanding, to tell me what spirituality is. And every single one of those people said something fucking different, and a lot of them were absolutely miles apart. I'm not saying right wrong,

good bad. I'm like, you know what, spirituality is a slippery construct, and it can be mumbo jumbo's kind of bullshitty, I think, And I think some people like to put on the metaphoric caftan and fucking wear the DreamCatcher and put that in the window and fucking clang their symbols so they look like they're whatever you know to me. To me, the more spiritual people act to me, that's ego.

To me, that's ego, that's look at me. I want you to think I am like this, Well that's not you know, it's to me to me like real like. And again, I'm not advocating anything here. I'm just speaking to my background. But my background is in you know,

in Christianity and church, right, I'm not advocating that. I'm just sharing, but I've read the Bible front the back many times, and because there was a time where I was deeply invested, deeply, deeply, right, But you know, even in and there are you know, there's wisdom in the

Qur'an and the Talmud and the bugger Vita. I think it's called I fucked that up, but you know what I'm saying, And of course the Old Testament New Testament, and there are a plethora of insights and wisdoms even in the writings of the Stoics, right, But there's a lot of commonality, and that says, you know, keep it under wraps. Like if you're out there beating your chest, you know, that's that's not God, that's not human, that's not kindness, that's ego. That's look at me, I need attention.

That's It's like that joke I made. I did a humility workshop on the weekend. Oh how'd you go? Yeah? I was the best. And when I say that, people don't even fucking up. I'm like, that was irony, Right, that's the I did a humility workshop. I crushed it. That's the opposite of yeah, oh okay, you know which kind of it's sad when you've got to explain your

own terrible Joe. But you know, one of my favorite scriptures in the in the New Testament, it is essentially this is the paraphrase version, and it depends which translation you read, But if you read King James, which is the there Tho or New King James, which is a modernized version of that, it says, you know, when you give to the poor, don't let your left hand know what your right hand's doing. And so when you do

a kindness, it always says, do it in secret. Don't tell anyone, like don't you don't need accolades, you don't need approval, you don't need attention. And I believe, and this is just my belief in terms of the spiritual growth and the spiritual benefit, which is the wrong that's the wrong word, but it's just for this. The moment that you talk about it, you lose it, right, Like, if you're doing good stuff, just do the good stuff. Just do the good stuff. You don't need to tell people.

You don't need to whatever. You know, I'm not saying I never mentioned it, but in general terms, because if there is a god or a higher power or a divine or whatever, if there's an intelligence and a love and an energy that's bigger than us. I say, if then, then that's where our reward will come from. That's where that energy that you know, whatever. But even then, but even then, you know, I think it's it's to do that even because we think we're going to get something back. Well,

that's not love either. That's transactional. Yeah, like love is not transactional. Love has no expectations. Love doesn't give wanting something. And if you give wanting something in return, that is not love. That is not kindness, that is not service. That is a negotiation of sorts, you know. And now everybody's asleep, and now everybody's like, I'm never listening to this shit again. But there you go, tip Hey.

I wouldn't even know where to begin, but more than the Christianity, yes, And you just pointed them all out and it was like, Wow, I didn't think a place like this would exist. That's so beautiful.

a cult of thought. Like it's when you you know, I grew up in a Catholic church and then I went to a non denominational fundamental born again Christian Church. Now they're both under the banner of Christianity, but you couldn't have two more different, two more different cultures or

ways of interpreting the Bible. Or it's like, yeah, the same text, but oh my goodness, in you know, like so in fundamental Christianity, for example, the foundation scripture from the New Testament is John three point sixteen, which says, for God so loved the world that he gave, He's only begotten the son that whosoever believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. Right, And that gets gently rammed down your throat all the time, which is cool.

I never heard that scripture in Mass. In Catholic Church, never heard it. And in Catholic Church you are not encouraged to read the Bible. Well we weren't. I never was anyway, that's my experience. You were encouraged to listen to the priest because he knows right and he's God's guy. Right, But then when you go and read the Bible. So

now I'm going in I'm in this other church. Right, it says, well, there's one mediator between God and man, right, or one person, And it doesn't say that's the Catholic priest. It says the actual Bible says there's one mediator between God and man, and that's Jesus Christ. That's in the New Testament. Right, So, like what is funny is and I'm this is not meant to be a religious conversation. This is more about interpretation and psychology and culture and programming.

And it's like wherever you go, they're going to teach you that they're right and the others are wrong. And that's not just in religion. That's in politics, that's in sport, that's in exercise cults, that's in food cults, that's in social cults. That's in amway, that's in you know, multi

level marketing across the oild. Well, you know, pa. But like consciousness is, or the beginning of consciousness is one to recognize your own lack of consciousness, but two to be able to extract yourself from a cult of thought that you've been part of and be okay and comfortable with going yeah, I don't agree anymore, or I don't think that, or I've thought for myself and this is what I think now, rather than just adopting someone else's truth or adopting just because of the situation you're in,

you know. So anyway, maybe we'll do a whole show on cult cults of thought because that's a thing. Yeah, it's so fucking interesting, Like you think when you grow up in a mind, like if you grew up in mom and dad were Buddhists and they were vegans undoubtedly until you were probably eighteen and maybe forever you would

be a Buddhist vegan. Right, you're not going to be a ten year old who's no, I'll go on a mass and eating cow while mom and dad meditating at the Buddha Center and having fucking you know, soy and tofu or whatever it is. Right, so you become a byproduct without choosing. You become a version of them unconsciously.