#1644 Me and Food - Harps

it's and I have had a much healthier relationship. I kind of feel like, and this might sound melodramatic, but for me, food was for a very long time my emotional support system. It was something that I medicated with in not a good way. It was something that I distracted myself with, that I numbed out with. Food was something that for me was a source of joy and

dopamine and instant gratification and all of that stuff. Of course, we all need food, of course, and that's one of the challenges when you are kind of somewhere in the ballpark of a food addiction or a food obsession, which I definitely was. People think or you would automatically think, I guess that getting off booze or getting off drugs

would be much harder. And while I'm not saying that getting off booze and certainly some drugs is incredibly hard, but the difference between booze and drugs is we don't have to have booze or drugs those kinds of drugs anyway in our life to survive, whereas we can't give up eating. We need to eat. And so it's really about it's not about giving up food. It's about changing

the nature of the relationship with food. It's about changing for me, it was about changing how I thought and socialized and chose and behaved and operated around food, the way that I the way that I organized my days around food, the way that I obsessed about food and all of that stuff. And that was maybe maybe I've never thought of this till right now, but maybe maybe part of that was because I didn't drink and I

didn't you know, I didn't use drugs. I've never had recreational drugs, and so I didn't do any of those state altering, mind altering, emotional system altering things that you could basically push the button on that, and I could take a drug or take a drink, and within a short period of time, I'd be in something of an altered state and the anxiety would go and the feelings of euphoria would come, and then I'd be in that state for as long as that drug, be that alcohol

or another drug, as long as that drug kind of stayed in my system. And I guess for me, you know, food was like that a little bit, and you know, growing up, it was my drug of choice. And I think also for me, there was a lot of this is just me thinking out loud. I have not planned this, definitely, not this part anyway. But for me, there was a lot of because I ate my way to be the fat es kit at my school, and I ate my way into the you know, the title of Jumbo or

the name of Jumbo. I think for me, there was a lot of guilt, and there was a lot of embarrassment, and there was a lot of shame around my eating and how much I ate and the way I ate, And of course there was a lot of embarrassment and shame around how I looked and my weight. And so you know, for a lot of you this won't be or for some of you this won't be relevant at all, so see tomorrow should you feel compelled to come back tomorrow. But for some of you, what I'm saying will resonate.

And So, while I always found it relatively easy to exercise, and I found it relatively easy to do a lot of a lot of the not so comfortable things that success demanded, it took until I was in my mid thirties, so twenty five years ago. But still, you know, the majority of the first half of my life, definitely, the majority of my first first half of my life was

food was me and food were problematic. And I think because for a very long time, I was because of the guilt, because of the shame, because of all of that stuff. I was publicly doing one thing and privately doing another. And I and I think, you know, like it's probably really only the last five years where I've opened up to the level that I'm currently you know, I would think, I think pretty transparent around all of it.

And it's funny how when you talk me, despite the guilt and the shame and the embarrassment, and despite the fact that I was I was a well known, high profile fitness professional who owned multiple gyms, who was training lots of people, working with the lead athletes, writing for newspapers, and doing and at the same time not doing the thing or the things that I would tell other people to do. In other words, I was living out of alignment.

I was talking to people about health and wellness and decision making and optimal food and optimal excise and sleep. And in the middle of all of that, I was doing things which were completely inconsistent with the message that I was putting into the world. And so it haints me to say, but in that sense, I was a fraud. I didn't want to be a fraud. It was my intention, but I was, I guess, publicly pretending to, you know, be a certain way, but when no one was looking,

I wasn't that. And while I can gladly own that now, or I can comfortably I guess own that now, I'm pretty sure that there are a few people listening to this right now that maybe have been or are in a similar boat, if not all the time, then then periodically. And I just think that, you know, there can be you know, because food is such a multi dimensional kind

of a thing. You know, of course, there's the biological, the physiological, and there's the psychological, the relationship we have with food, and there's all the emotional stuff around food. You know, there's all the habits that we have, the you know, the behavior that the sociological, the way that we eat when we're around other people, what we do in public, what we do in private, and you know, it doesn't even come down to really knowledge, like we

knowledge is an issue. But you know, like for example, the average person who the average person who's overweight or over fats, that is, they're carrying more fat or more body weight than they want to. And one of their you know, if you talk to them, they really don't want to look or feel or weigh or function the

way that they currently do. But on the same day that they might own up to that or tell you that, it could also be the same day that they go and put stuff in their body which is at complete odds with their goal or their health value. And I've been that person too. And so this once again, as I always say, this is not about self loathing. This

is about self awareness, This is about self reflection. This is about owning up and stepping up, you know, to acknowledge that I know that I don't have a great relationship with food. That is a that is a tough thing to put your hand up for. I know that I make decisions around food in relation to food, and I do things with food that are inconsistent with how I say I want to be. I eat too much sugar, or I eat too much processed food, or I eat really high quality food, but I just eat fifty percent

more calories than I need on a given day. I don't listen to my body. I don't honor my body. Remember, your body is a biofeedback system. It's always telling you something and talking to you and informing you because your body is fucking brilliant. But you and me, the owner

operators of said bodies. Sometimes you and I are fucking idiots because we do stuff to our body, not for our body, to our body, which is actually unintelligent and at times toxic and destructive, because because it gives us momentary joy, putting that piece of whatever it is in the body that makes us feel momentarily good, because it pushes the dopamine button. We love dopamine because it's feel good.

And I've been feeling shit and I'm a bit sad or i'm a bit anxious, or I'm a bit flat, or i'm a bit worried, and I know that I can just press that button and I'm going to get this response. So I'll press the button and I'll start tomorrow, because I'm always starting tomorrow. And the amount of people that I've spoken to over the years who want to change their body, who want to change their diet, who recognize and realize that what they're doing is not currently working.

But no matter when I talk to them today, this day, the day that we're talking is never the day. It's always going to be soon, often tomorrow, often Monday, of course, Monday being the global stuff starting day. The day where all lives transform, of course is Monday, not Tuesday. It's a day too late, and Sunday's ridiculous, and Friday, we

don't even fucking start with Friday. It's got to be Monday, or as I've said to many of you before, it's got to be January one, which is the international of course, that is the standout transform you're thinking, habits, behaviors and outcomes day. January one, the day where all lives change forever. And of course I'm being facetious but all this is just self delusion. This is you and me telling our

selves stories. This is rationalizing, justifying, because the thing that we need to do quite often with our body for our health, with our habits, be that whatever exercise or booze or food in this case food, the thing that we need to do, which is own up and step up and reduce all that pleasure giving sugar and salt and excess calories. The thing that we need to do is not fun, quick, easy, or painless. So there's this period of time between where we are now with our

eating habits and our current operating system. There's a period of time and a period of pain and discomfort and inconvenience that we need to go through where we're not pushing the dopamine button and we're just letting our body and our mind to an extent adapt and adjust to this new operating system. And so the question to ask in the middle of all of this is does my

current operating system with food? In other words, the way that I typically inverted commas do food, the type of food that I eat, the amount of food that I eat, the way that I socialize with food, the way that I make decisions around food, the way that the things that I buy to put in my pantry, the things

that I buy to put in my fridge. I was talking to someone recently who was telling me about how they can't give up chocolate, and they just they you know, they try to restrain and refrain, and they want to give up chocolate or at least reduce chocolate. And when I suggested that maybe a good starting point was not to buy it, not to put it in the fridge, not to put it in the cupboard, not to have it in the house, and then the next time at ten thirty at night, when you reach for the chocolate,

there's no fucking chocolate. It's hard to eat something that you don't have, right, And so you can't seriously say I'm going to give up chocolate or I'm serious about giving up chocolate or reducing chocolate. By the way, now I'm at the supermarket buying all the chocolate market and this is I know this sounds kind of almost unnecessarily simple and stupid to talk about, but if there's one thing I've seen smart people behave stupidly around, it's food.

People that I know that are highly intelligent, very educated, very informed people doing stupid shit with food and doing stupid shit to their body by constantly abusing food and ending up over the medium to long term in a body that they don't enjoy being in. And I'm not talking about I'm not fat shaming. I'm just talking about health. I'm talking about wellness, I'm talking about energy levels, I'm

talking about heart disease, I'm talking about diabetes. I'm talking about all of the myriad of consequences or potential consequences that can come from eating a shit diet consistently for a long time. And we know that if we don't know,

we're about to know. We know that people often make significant health decisions like life really like actual life changing decisions when something breaks, as in they have a heart attack, or they get diagnosed with diabetes, or they have some kind of medical clinical drama, or or they get scared or they get scared so something bad happens or they're scared that something bad is going to happen. And so

we call that reactive health management, not proactive. So if you are currently in a body that is not optimal, and again there's no judgment in this, there's no self loathing. There's just honesty. There's just self awareness. You can't go and get a new body. The one you've got is the only one. You can't replace it. You can only do better things with it. And everything that you've done or not done to your body or for your body up until this moment in time, as you listen to this,

none of that can be changed. But what we can do is we can start to behave differently now so that some obviously we can't change past behaviors, but in the present we might be able to change some of the consequences or outcomes of those past behaviors by embracing new thinking and new behaviors That will require a level of awareness and consciousness and courage and decision making and self control and discipline that maybe you haven't embraced to

this point in time. Sometimes the things that we need to do are not the things that we want to do. For me, it's always been about It's always been about for myself and the people that I work with. Let me say, it's mostly been about learning how to love our body with food, and by that I mean treat our body, treat my body, treat your body in a loving way. In relation to how we feed it and nourish it. I am eating food that will make my

body work better. So conscious eating might look something like, I will not eat food I don't need. I will not reward myself or motivate myself with food. Conscious eating might look like I will not use food to escape reality or to numb out. Conscious eating might look like I will not allow situations or circumstances or other people to influence or dictate the way I eat. I will not rationalize or justify unhealthy the eating. I will not lie to myself or others. I did that for a

long time about my eating behaviors. I will walk my talk, and this next one for me was a big one. I will not eat in secret. I used to do so much secret eating because I didn't want people to know what was actually going on, because you know, I had a brand, I had an ego, I had a reputation, and I was craigging the gym owner. And while while people were looking, I was doing one thing. I was

ticking the box. I was meeting their expectations. And then when people were looking the other way, I was doing bullshit to my body. And I'm not proud of this. I don't like actually sharing it with you, but it's true, and so I can beat myself up, which I'm not. I can just say I did some really dumb shit for a really long time to my body. I made poor choices, I embraced bad behaviors, I created bad outcomes, and it's nobody's fault except me. I'm not beating myself up.

I'm just owning it. I continuing on this conscious eating conversation, I will not look for approval or a round of applause or accolades for eating well. One of the things that I find hilarious is grown ups, adult humans posting a picture of a healthy meal that they're eating so that people will tell them how great they are. And if you don't think that that's what most people are doing, you don't really know what's going on. Because we all know what a fucking healthy meal looks like. We don't

need a picture of your lunch or your breakfast. And it's the problem with this is when we constantly need approval or accolades or a cheer squad or a pat on the back for just doing something which is the right thing. Now, we just create a new addiction. Look at me, syndrome. Look at me. Look how good I am. Look how well I'm eeting. Look how lean I'm getting. Look at what I'm doing, Look at my behavior. Look how disciplined I am. It's bullshit. You don't need it.

You maybe wanted, but that's your ego, that's your self doubt, that's your insecurity. Trust me when I tell you that. Firstly, if people do support you, will give you or compliment you cool. You know that's incidental. Great, but don't go searching for that. Don't go seeking validation and approval all the time, because if you can't function without that, then you're always going to revert to that operating system that doesn't work. What you do when no one's looking tells

me who you are. It tells me about whether or not you're actually really on the path, really changing. Here's another one, conscious eating. I will not continue the stop start cycle, on again, off again, good, bad, of healthy and unhealthy eating. I will stop getting on and off the weight loss roller coaster. I will not binge and then eat well. I will not binge and then eat well and then eat fucking nothing and then binge again.

The reason that my first book was all about this this stuff I'm talking about is because I realized that for me to change my body and keep changed, and for me to help other people to change their body fitter, stronger, leaner, lighter, healthier, less pain, love blood pressure, better performance, run faster, jump, hire, lift, heavier, whatever, whatever the physiological transform transformation was, I knew that that was first and foremost about helping people psychologically and emotionally

get to where they needed to get to create the physical change. And it's almost like the physical outcome is really just the byproduct of what's happening in emotionally and psychologically. And so too with food, getting our food right, getting our diet right, getting our nutritional protocol rights, and then getting our physiology right. Off the back of that is so much about emotions and minds, so much about psychology and emotion impacting physiology. When I ate junk, I didn't

accidentally eat junk, I chose it. Well, that's a mind thing. My body's not making decisions. My body's just suffering the consequences or dealing with the consequences of my decisions, be they good or bad. And when I made when I thought better, when I got my mind in the place it needed to and my emotions in the place that I needed them to be, and then I started to self regulate and make better decisions. Then my physiology changed

for the better. But that was just the byproduct of the mind stuff, of the emotion stuff, of the decision making stuff. I will not allow my mind or my emotions to sabotage my physical potential. I will not use food as an escape clause, as an escaping reality door. I will not use food as an emotional crutch. I will love and be grateful for my body, but I will not obsess about it. I will nourish my body with high quality nutrition. I will not stuff it with food.

I will be mindful that my body is where I live, not who I am. I will listen to what my body is telling me, and I will eat accordingly. And I will value my body and it's wisdom more than I value my stuff, because I can get more stuff, but I can't get a new body. So here's the body audit for you. Number one, does it work optimally or close to optimally? Two is it healthy or close

to optimal health? And three if it doesn't really work and it's not healthy, then maybe it's time for you to step out of the emotion as best you can, and to turn up the logic and strategy and the accountability and the process, and consider your body, even if it's for the next month or two, to get some momentum. And your food and your relationship with food, and your protocol, your operating system with food moving forward. Consider that as

a project. Consider that as a key priority for you moving forward, because if you have a toxic and or unhealthy relationship with food, dude, and you don't address that, you don't fix that, you cannot be a person who experiences optimal health. And I know you want your version of optimal health. See you next time.