I got aw you Bloody Champs, Craig Ethie hap Ti. Tiffo over there at Bloody typ Central just been inhaling another form of chocolate, deluding herself that she's not having chocolate because she's drinking it. She's doing seventy five hard, which she's doing let's say seventy five seventy five soft.
She's doing so seventy five hard. If you haven't heard, I'm not an expert, but it's programmed that people do for seventy five days where they essentially challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zone and lean into some growth and some resilience and some kind of light bulb moments where they kind of design their own program to appoint tiff has been doing that. What is your update before we get underway with our topic, dujeu.
When I recently spoke at an event, I was talking about resilience, and one of the points I made was sometimes it gets to a point in resilience where doing the hard thing is actually not doing the hard thing. So when it comes to seventy five hard in terms of the training, which would normally be my favorite part, the idea was to find a way to stay moving every day, but not train hard because this year has been a bit of a fucking disaster with energy and
recovery and fatigue and all of the things. So really good habits. It got me into a just a nice routine of committing it to a new style of thing and setting a new routine and habit around that. It got me off eating junkie chocolates seventy eight times a day. It's cost me a fortune because now I've gone and bought you know, I bought three kilos of ceremonial grade cackau. I don't know if that's just a fucking another thing that they gibb you on. But that shit's more expensive
than I don't know, it's a lot. It's like one hundred bucks of kilo, bro, but I bought it in bulk.
I bought three, kid, hang on, let me just wheel that term out. Let me think about that ceremonial grade cocw.
Yeah, that sounds like a fucking scam right there, I know, but it is delicious.
Well, then are you not just replacing one kind of chocolate for another? Because co cow is the core ingredient of chocolate, isn't it.
I'm not eating the junk we're reading junk. I'm not eating the old bloody cabri bars every time I get out and pass a supermarket and find a reason to go in just so I.
Can't get worse.
It's actually Wittkers, not cabridges, the little wittkers, because they're porsch and controlled. Like a fifty forty five grand bar, I normally get two, so I may as well just buy a big blockle lint.
Really, because cocw is kind of tasteless and bland. So what's making it so yummy?
Not put a little bit honey in it?
Okay, okay, all right.
The point is, though, Harps, that's the that's the only thing that has any sweet in my Like, I don't think you understand how much of my day was like if you just was to follow my blood sugar.
Trends, there's definitely another, definitely another source of sweetness in your life, and you're talking to it and it's calorie free. Fucking hell. I'm like, I'm like the ultimate sweetener with no guilt, no guilt, no calories. I don't affect your blood sugar. I'm not fucking up your pancris or your insulin levels. You're welcome.
That's true. That's sweet poison.
Hey yeah, probably probably so on the weekend, as you know, you know, Tiff that all our listeners don't know, but half do. I guess I did. I ran a workshop in Melbs. We're recording this Thursday, and one of the things that we spoke about a lot was the idea of I didn't use this term, but this is the term I'm going to use today because it's the same, and the idea is intentional living. And what I mean by that is, well, we spoke a lot about the idea of getting out of the groundhog Danus, which has
been a reoccurring theme on this show. But nonetheless, there are still a lot of us who keep doing things that don't work because we've done them habitually. It's hardwired into our subconscious operating system, our behavioral operating system. You know, so many of us. And this is not self loathing. This is self awareness. We eat shit we know as bad for us. We do things that are done for
our health. We make decisions and then take actions which a form of self limitation or self destruction or toxic behavior. We know that I've done it, Tif's done it. You've
done it, listener. And so the idea, this is the idea of moving towards a life, a reality and existence, an operating system that is more conscious and intentional, that is more strategic, that is more planned, that is more reflective of and consistent with who you actually really want to be and how you really want to be what really matters to me, and does my life reflect the things that I say are very important, like my values, like my beliefs, like my future goals, like the lifestyle,
the healthy lifestyle that I want in all of that. So a couple of things. I'm just going to launch this with tith and then you just jump in. So I asked doctor Google how they define intentional living. So I'm going to read that it's not terrible, and then I'm going to define it much more succinctly and I think more effectively. But that could just be my ego bucket, right, So here's here's doctor Google. I know, actually this is chatters. This is chat GPT. You're welcome, my third best friend
chat GPT. You're welcome. You're in the top ten. I don't want to tell your position because the other people in the top ten.
T is higher than me.
That is, I said you're in the I didn't say you're not in the top two. I'm saying you're in the top ten. Because of my insecure friends want to know where they are.
I am one of those insecure friends.
Intentional living is a lifestyle philosophy where individuals make conscious, deliberate choices that align with their values, goals, and purpose instead of living on also pilot or reacting passively to circumstances. That is basically my version of that is letting you know your life, your situation, your circumstance write the story
for you. Those who practice intentional living focus on taking control of their lives by setting meaningful priorities, creating habits that support their vision, and making decisions that lead to personal growth and fulfillment. That's a bit fluffy, and yeah, it's in the ballpark, though. It's about living with purpose some clarity, yep. Ensuring that everyday actions reflect long term
desires and principles. That's a really good sentence, ensuring that, so what we do today is a reflection of, or an alignment with our long term desires, goals, principles, values, whatever you want to call it. This approach can lead. Sorry, this approach can influence all areas of life, from relationships and career choices to health and spirituality, leading to greatest satisfaction and a sense of meaning. That's kind of predictable, and it's in the ballpark. But here's my very succinc
definition of intentional living. Intentional living is living on purpose and in purpose. I'm just going to say it again for those of you taking notes living on purpose. In other words, you're doing shit on purpose, not unconsciously, and you're living in purpose. That is the purpose that you want for your life. So I'm going to break it down. So for me, living on purpose means that I am conscious, intentional, and strategic about the way I live. My life is
not an unintended, unplanned or unconscious process or outcome. And for me, living in purpose means that the way I live is a reflection of my values, morals, ethics, beliefs
and goals. I'm going to post this somewhere. I might put it up on facy or in the group, or but I just think that that I'm going to say it once more so for me, living on purpose means that I am conscious, intentional, and strategic about the way I live my life is not accidental, unintended, unplanned, or unconscious, and for me, living in purpose means that the way I live is a reflection of my values, morals, ethics, beliefs,
and goals over arching goals. So with that in mind, Tiffany and Cook, I thought, I'm we might make this and you jump in or out as much as you want. I know, I'm going to drive it, but I'd love your contribution questions thoughts. So my not very popular opinion in the time where everyone's triggered by everything and people get offended sixty before that, yeah, I know, I know, and I understand. I understand. It's all okay, and a time where people get, you know, offended because the wind blew.
I'm just going to say what I think. I'm going to say what I think and fuck it and it's not anything horrible. But this is my observation and experience. Sorry, most people are living unintentional, unconscious, and out of alignment lives. That is, to a point, they are unconscious passengers in
their own life. So, which is not to say that we never make the decisions or we never take conscious actions, but at least a portion of the time, nearly everyone I've ever met, including myself, and even myself right now, that my life is not one hundred percent you know, on purpose and in purpose. That would that would be an exercise in ego. If I said that it was, it isn't. I think it's mostly on and in purpose.
But there are times when ego hijacks the fucking situation or insecurity or self doubt or laziness or whatever it is. And of course there's going to be that perpetual humanity to my life, right that's never going away. But what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to turn down the volume on the unconscious and turn up the volume and the focus on the conscious, the intentional, the purposeful
way of existing. So, you know, so many people We've said this a lot, Tiff, but so many people wake up in inverted commas and say, this wasn't this wasn't how I thought it would be, or this wasn't my plan, or this wasn't my intention. And sometimes you know, shit happens beyond our control, of course, uh and with everybody, all of us, utif Metiff and all of our listeners, there will be things that happen in our life, that we didn't want, that we didn't plan, that are sad,
that a tragic, that are catastrophic. We get all of that. We're not denying that, and we're not pretending that life is a fucking Disney movie or a sitcom or a rom com, because it's not. Sometimes life succumt We know that. We know that, but that is part of the human experience. And so in the middle of the shipfest, the mess, the mayhem, the unpleasantness, the unplanned, the uncertain, the unfamiliar, which is everyone's life at some stage, in the middle of all of that, we need to focus on what
we can control. So what I can What am I doing about living in alignment with my values, goals, police, faith, right? What am I doing about the things that are in my control? What is in my control today? What I put in my mouth? What is in my control today? How I talk to people? What is in my control today is whether or not I spend money on shit I don't need or not. What is in my control today not easy, but in my control is my self talk is how I talk to me. I'm a fucking idiot,
No I'm not. I'm not a fucking idiot. I'm flawed, but I'm not a fucking idiot. I could be better, I could do better, but I'm not a fucking idiot because I produce some good outcomes. Am I silly at times? Yes? Am I brilliant at times? Rarely but on occasion? Okay?
Right?
Am I? You know I'm periodically fuck Sometimes I take my own breath away. I'm like, fucking hell, that was genius. I'm like, huck, jump back and kiss myself. You know, it's like, what can I do with my time today? Like? Am I in control of my time? Yes, there's going to be certain requirements and certain on negotiables. I get it, I get it, But that's not all fourteen hundred and forty minutes of your day. So what what can I do? You know, with the time that I have available? And
what about my energy? What am I spending my Am I intentional with my energy? Or am I spending two hours a day fucking transfixed by scrolling on bullshit? That really makes my life worse because it's two hours that I could have invested into consciously creating, designing, refining and improving my situation, my life, my health, my relationships, my career. It's two hours. I can never reclaim it's gone. But what can I do for the rest of today after this podcast? Can I make a phone call? Can I
make a decision? Can I decide what I focus on and pay attention to for the rest of today and tomorrow and this week? Yes? I can. So that is conscious intentional living. And what about even I've been thinking
about this one lately. And this is going to sound a bit weird and deep, but I've been trying to figure out because I grew up, as you know, TIF and as most of our listeners know, like in a very kind of you know god ye kind of construct you know, religious lots of church, so that kind of I guess that intersection of religion and spirituality and God and all that faith based living. And while some of that wasn't good, some of it was. And I believe,
like anything, there are pros and cons to everything. So lately, one of the things I've been thinking about for me not something that I want to stand on a platform and preach or teach because I'm figuring this out for me, but I've been thinking about what is you know I spoke about. I'll come back to what I was going
to say, but I spoke about on the weekend. I spoke about these eight steps that I've spoken to you about, starting with self reflection and self awareness, then self acceptance and self knowledge through to the second last one is self actualization. And the last one on this process of
trying to understand me, understand yourself is self transcendence. And self transcendence is essentially the idea of having a purpose and a focus bigger than you, and where our attention and our love and our energy to go out with no expectation of anything in return, with no hooks, catches agendas, with no strategy, no strategy. And so for me, this is this is part of the dichotomy because I you know, I do this. This is part of my job. I do corporate gigs, that's part of my job. I coach people,
I do workshops part of my job. But I also I think probably about twenty percent, maybe twenty thirty percent of my work in inverted commas, I get paid zero for right which and it's not really work. It's just time and energy that I choose to invest into helping people. And I'm not saying this to sound good, but this is part of my spiritual commitment of having a purpose bigger than me. So, you know, so when I think about am I living intentionally? Like, do I like to
think that I'm a good person? I like to think that, But what the fuck does that even mean? What does that mean? Like, of course my ego wants to think I'm a good person, but beyond the ego and the brand and beyond Craig Harper saying on a podcast to thousands of people, right, am I actually a good person? Like? Not the idea and not that. Oh I guess what else I do?
People?
Oh you know, it's like you know, the humble brag. Well, there's no fucking humility at all. So for me, one of the things I've been thinking about is, you know, what is that? What is having a spiritual journey or a spiritual aspect to who I am? What does that mean for me? And while I don't and I could be going a little bit deep here, but this is very intentional and for me, this is very for me.
It might not be for a lot of you listeners, and that's okay, maybe you're maybe it's interesting to hear
how I think for me or not. But like, I know that the good stuff that I took away from my very extensive life in church was the love stuff, which is which is kindness, which is quality time, which is service, which is to an extent, you know, denying myself, like inconveniencing myself and not because there's, like I said, a round of applause or an accolade and you know, like my whole kind of over the last ten years where we've spoken the last five six years on this show,
but more broadly, I get asked a lot about religion and God and what I think. And it's hard because we're talking about stuff for which we have no absolute proof or evidence. You know, the whole God thing is a faith thing, right. Faith is believing in something you can't prove, because if we had proof or absolute knowledge or data, then the need for faith becomes redundant because
now we've got unequivocal evidence. And so for me, you know, we talk about all the things I mentioned, lifestyle and career and relationships and all of those things, and health. But yeah, for me lately, I've been you know, what is my intention and what is my conscious process around being not just a good person for me so that I'm kicking goals and I'm winning, but so that I am genuinely a good person for others to be around, you know. So I think that like all of these.
So I'll jump out of that now because I was probably boring everyone. But you know, so the list that I've done is this. You might want to write this down, hit the pause button and come back to this. I'll shut up and you can talk after this. TIF. So here's a list of things I wrote. Am I intentional with my Am I intentional with my lifestyle? One? How I live, sleep, exercise, booze, socializing, the way I put it all together? Am I intentional with my lifestyle? Two?
Am I intentional with? Am I conscious about? Am I proactive with my relationships? Or do I just kind of coexist in unhealthy, toxic, somewhat destructive, somewhat pointless relationships because
fuck it, you know. And by the way, I'm not directing anyone or advising anyone to do anything, but I know for me, there are there's even a few relationships, you know, not close intimate ones, that there are relationships or kind of almost like by situation not design, relationships in my life that I either need to end, shut the door, on or I need to change the way that I operate in the context of that relationship so that so that I'm more intentional, because not every relationship
that we have, and it doesn't mean that everything's got to be strategic and amazing and beneficial for you, Like there are a lot of one way relationships that well not well, there's a number of it's not one way, but there's a lot of relationships where I do most of the giving. And I'm okay with that because I think that that's the right thing right. Next one on my list is, am I intentional with my career? With my career? Am I designing my career? Am I? Am
I making decisions and taking actions? Is today me? Is today me making decisions that tomorrow me will be happy with? Is today me making decisions and doing things that tomorrow me and next week me will be happy with and grateful for? My Next my next one is am I intentional with my personal growth journey? Am I genuinely putting myself in situations, environments, and circumstances where I will grow,
Where I am developing skill, understanding awareness. It could be a literal academic environment where you're improving yourself academically, or it could just be in a situation where you're uncomfortable. It could be you enrolling and doing jiu jitsu and going, fuck,
I'm going to go and learn a skill. I'm going to get fitter and stronger, learn how to defend myself, and I'm going to learn how to be more confident and competent doing something that right now, fucking it could be anything that, for you is a form of growth. My next one is I've got five to go. My next one is, am I intentional with my skill development? Am I intentionally developing skills? So for me, that would be am I becoming a better writer? Am I? Am
I becoming a better podcast? Am I becoming? You know? On Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, I did three quite big public facing gigs and you said to me yesterday TIF on the phone and I had to rush off. You know what's changed because I said they all went really well,
and well, maybe unpacked that in a bit. But what I love is, while I still have a long way to go and I will always be a work in progress, I know that as objective as I could be, I could be wrong, But I feel like anyway and I'm the biggest critic of me, but I feel like I've never been better at my job and I'm sixty. And I think that gives people that are younger than sixty, which is you by twenty years, Tiff. I think that
gives people hope. And I think, you know what, at s sixty, at seventy, at fifty, we can get better. We can, but we're not going to accidentally get better. So am I intentionally learning? Am I intentionally developing new skills? Am I intentionally? What's that anterior mid singulate cortex that part of the brain that Schuberman talks about. Am anterior mid singulate amcc am I, am I? What does that mean?
That means there's a part of the brain, folks, that when we do hard things, it literally grows, It develops new neural pathways, and it is literally you training your brain to become stronger like you would train your shoulders to become stronger in the gym. And when you do the hard thing in the gym, your muscles grow. And when you do the hard thing that might be the hard emotional or psychological thing, this part of your brain grows. How fucking exciting is that? Tif? You want to jump in.
No, I was just on that. I was listening to a podcast this morning and they referred to human on that. But the note they made is doing things against you, Wilso, even doing the hard thing in the gym is by choice. So there's a difference as well as doing things by choice that are hard, right, Yes, not necessarily by choice.
I've consciously lately been paying way more attention, like twenty four to seven to the propensity that I have to in the moment take the easy option, like I'm about to take the easy and it could be even like this. Last night, I ate dinner at this desk where I am right now, which that's an indictment on me, because I often I'm a fucking loser. I live by myself, so I'll sit there with a bowl of chicken and rice while working. And anyway, So I had a hot chocolate which I a jarrot joli.
Yeah, thanks very much.
Oh, I'm not giving up chocolate. I'm not a chocolate addict. You are, now, It's okay. So I had anyway, So I had a couple of bowls which were dirty, and I took them down, I put them in the sink. I filled them with water and went, fuck it, I'll wash them in the morning. I got halfway back up the stairs and I'm like, just go and wash them properly. Like I was really tired. I just wanted to get in bed, and this fucking little voice goes, just go
back downstairs, you big baby. Wash the dishes, properly, dry the dishes properly, put them back where they live in the cupboard, and then wipe everything down. And I'm like, I don't want to. I know this is a dumb example, but it's It's just like and the other night I
spoke about this on a previous podcast. I got to the end of the day and I looked at my steps and they were like fuck all, I just wanted to and I just went, I can't do that few steps and I just went outside and I late at night I did, you know, I can't remember how many,
but it was. It wasn't a million, but it was like four or five thousand additional steps on top just because And whenever I do the thing that I don't want to do, but I feel, you know, I have this awareness that I'm actually doing something good for my own resilience and my own kind of development, but there's a jaw. And I mean, we're talking about little silly things,
but these little silly things add up. It's like, every time I walk a flight of stairs here at home, it's contributing to the forty flights a day that I walk, and you go forty flights a day time seven days is two hundred and eighty flights of stairs that I incidentally walk. And I'm always grateful that I have a two story house. I'm like, because it's actually better for my health because I'm doing this thing which is just
a byproduct of living in this environment. And I can't get up here because I can't fly, so I've got to use the fucking stairs, you know. So I'll finish these off. So I'll just recap. Am I intentional with one? My lifestyle, my relationships, career, self improvement, skill development? This one is really important? Am I? Am I intentional with the optimization of my potential? When I ask one hundred people in a room, how many of you think that
you've absolutely maxed your potential? Nobody puts up their hand when I say how many of you? Feel like and this is not self loathing, but in some ways you have or are, and maybe not globally, perhaps an area of your life, but you're wasting potential and every hand goes hut. And so you know, the question is not you know, why do I have these genetics? But rather how do I optimize these genetics? Like how do I get the most out of what I have? How do I get the most out of my fourteen hundred and
forty minutes? How do I get the most out of this brain that I have? So my IQ is, let's wheel in a number. In fact, let's not because I hate those fucking classifications, but your your intelligence, your intellect that you were born with, Your creativity, your default creativity that you were born with, is trainable.
Right.
You can improve your creative skills, you can improve your cognitive skills. You can get more out of the brain that you have, You can get more out of the body that you have, get you can become you know, as a podcaster from episode one of the You Project to whatever number this is, I'm better. I'm better, And I'm not better because I've got more talent or I've
got more potent. I'm better because I use the talent and use the potential and I develop skill and all of us can do that no matter what our starting point is, number whatever, we're up to third last one. Am I intentional with the way that I use my time? Am I intentionally optimizing time management? And I would say none of us are like not, Well, that's not true. I'm sure someone is, you know. And this comes down to good busy and bad busy. You know, the busy
badge of which we speak often. Yep, we're all busy, yep. But are you busy productive and effective? Or are you just busy, ineffective, unproductive, spinning the wheels, fucking stagnating, same place. You've been busy for the last six months, but you look up and you're still in the place that you don't want to be. In fact, you haven't moved because you're busy, but you're not strategic. You're busy, but you're
not productive. You're busy, but you're not effective. So how do we optimize our time and become more effective with like? And that goes back to energy. What is the optimal use of my energy in conjunction with the time that I have available to me? So the energy management and the time management. Energy is not an unlimited resource. Time is not an unlimited resource and every single day. Tip I hate to tell you this, but the most time that you will ever have in your life moving forward
is this moment. As I say these words, You're never going to have any more hours left in your life than you do in this moment. The clock's counting down. And that's the same for all of us. That's not morbid, that's life. And then the last one, which I spoke about already is and I am I intentional with my spiritual journey. I think I'd banged on for a long time. There any thoughts, any additions? Co host?
Yeah, well, do you know what? It's really relevant to how I've been feeling. So it was really nice to sit back and just digest that as you were talking about it, because I just feel like this year, probably prompted by my energetic state, it's brought along, brought along a lot of opportunity to reflect. I was going to ask you how long do you sit and this might be a meeting, but how long do you sit in a place of observation before you decide which trigger to
pull on your hypothesis of being more intentional? Because I don't think I was just gonna say, I find I always talk about that history of me being such a great storyteller, like my reasons, my perception of why I did things when I was younger was a very strong, feel good story. So I know that my reasoning can land in that space before it lands in the space that's maybe going to actually push me in the right direction.
Yeah. Yeah, So I think it depends on how big the light bulb is for me. If it's like a, yeah, I should do that, but that's not like a nine or an eight priority, it's like a it's a three out of ten awareness that I should do that, but at the moment, other things need to have my attention and time. It depends a little bit. I'll give you
an example of something that I became aware of. So one of the things that I do is I have a lot of ideas that I say, like I do do a lot of stuff, you know, like I am actually quite productive, but there are other things that I say that I'm going to do that I don't do or I don't do them in the time. And so this is something that I've had an awareness about and I'm doing. So I spoke to Melissa not yesterday the
day before about a program, a video program. I think, I don't know if I've spoken to you about this, but I'm designing a video program which will be a product and it'll be on the site and all of
that and people can buy it. But it's going to be essentially be one hundred give or take one hundred short videos about ten eight, ten fifteen minutes that people can watch and rewatch take notes, So a combination of teaching, lecturing, inspiration, education, information that people can watch and rewatch take notes, answer questions and so on. So it's, you know, kind of almost school, but with me up the front, which is
fucking mayhem, of course. So my plan was, I said to Melissa, I'm going to spend all of October like planning, planning, what are the areas I'm going to talk about, like the broad topics and then the specific topics under each kind of banner, and then I'm going to get clarity around each of the you know, one hundred or so videos, and then in November I'm going to record on average three or four a day and get them all recorded in November, right, and then the amc C thing the
fucking kicked in, you know, the anterior mid singulate cortex, the you know, the just do it. And I finished talking to Melissa, and then I went, I'm going to I got off the phone, and then I started planning because I was going to do all the planning in October and then the execution pulled the trigger and do all the filming in November. She would edit it as we went and we'd hopefully launch it in December as
a program that people and get involved in. Right, And then I went, why am I It's like, well, two days ago it was the tenth of September, I'm like, what am I going to do for the rest of September? I'm just going to sit on the edge of my seat, swinging my legs, waiting for October to one. October one
to come. So I've already started. So I've got about probably six seven pages, you know, just on a word document, but probably I don't know, two three four thousand words in already just and I'm so glad I started because I've got momentum now and I've got more clarity now, and i know that I'm going to be way ahead of schedule, so I may or may not, but worst case scenario I'm going to start filming in December November, but I think I'll actually start filming in the next
couple of weeks because we also need to figure out how am I going to film it so that you know, it's not going to be Hollywood production, but it's got to be you know, good video, good audio, and it's got to be something that you know, so apart from the content being good, you know all this, all the kind of look, feel, function, vibe, you know all that.
And so I don't know why I was telling you that, but yeah, one of my things is either do it or say you're going to do it, then do it, or don't say you're going to do it, like it, just put it on the shelf and say I may get to that one day, but not now, because I do have a history of saying I would do shit
that I don't do. Although I think I'm probably more productive than the average person because I do follow through a lot, I have done a lot of shit, but yeah, that yeah, And also another thing for me is I've probably been bad at times at prioritizing because like I had a phone call from a big company yesterday. I'll tell you off air, I think I've told you already, But anyway, they want me to consults on this thing which is new and exciting and interesting, and I really
don't have time. And they're like, would you be I go yes, I would would you be interested? I'm like, yep, really I should go no. But anyway, I'll figure it out.
What what's the common thing that when you've but well, I guess even with even with that, it's relevant with what drove you to say yes, what's behind that? But also in these moments where you've sat and made a shift to be more in purpose and on purpose? Has it been a recurring theme that is underlying the drive and the not being on purpose for.
You a little bit? I think, yeah, that's a really good question. I think that, And I'm sorry for the people who have heard this too many times, but because you know, when I was young, I didn't. I wasn't particularly and I'm still not. But it's not like, oh, Craig, you were futs at you, Wow you are a great athlet or are your amazing academic, or you know you had this incredible gift to do that. I didn't have any of that. Probably my best gift was communication, Like
if that's a gift. Like I could always string a few words together, and you know, if I'm being honest, bullshit my way in and out of stuff, right and
often bullship my way into trouble. But I think because I realized young that if I wanted to have an extraordinary life, and I don't mean in comparison to anyone, but you know, to live a good life, to to do to have a life that I loved, To have a career that I loved, to have relationships that were you know, better than average, and by that I mean for the most part healthy, to build a lifestyle and habits, and you know, then had to be really intentional about
that because nothing, you know, nothing, While I didn't have a hard life, there's no sob story, but like I never just landed on my feet. You know how people go they get discovered or something. Well, I was never going to get discovered because there's fucking nothing to discover, you know. And it's like, you know, it's like I would have been waiting for opportunity to knock for fucking sixty years, but that motherfucker's not coming to the door.
So you go, oh, well, I should create opportunities because that's another option. So rather than someone waiting for me, or sorry, waiting for someone to recognize how awesome I am, which is ridiculous, I will make decisions, do work, and I will create opportunities, and I will fail and I will win, and I will fall down and I will get up and I will figure out how to build whatever it is that I want to. I'll figure out how to get in shape. I'll figure out how to
run a company. I'll figure out how to do a podcast. I'll figure out how to write, write a book or five, you know, I'll figure I'll figure out how to do radio with no radio training. I'll figure out how to write for a newspaper with fucking no journalism experience. Like all the shit that I've done, and I'm not bragging here because for everything that I did well, I did twenty unwell, Like twenty wins I had, you know, for
every one win, I had twenty failures. And so but all of the fun things that I have done are a byproduct of all of the unfun things, the unfun things I did along the way to get there. It's like that Jimmy Carr quote. Everyone's jealous of what you've got but nobody's jealous of how you got it right. And I'm not saying people are jealous of me, they're not. But it's like everyone wants to be at the top
of the mountain, but nobody wants to do the fucking climb. Well, the climb is the best bit, like even when it doesn't feel like it, Like, the climb is the growth and the joy and the learning and the revelation and the resilience, all the awesome shit. None of the awesome shit comes at the top of the mountain because the only way you can go when you're at the top of the mountain, baby.
Is down in the mountain.
You've got to keep as sending fuck getting to the top, just keep growing, learning, evolving, because how many people have you worked with and I work with where they achieve what they set out to and they go and now I'm fulfilled? No one, how many people of you and I helped get in shape and they go, right, this is me Now I don't want to change anymore. Oh look, awesome, I'm so happy. I'm so content or my food issues are gone, my body dysmorphia has disappeared. I'm at the
perfect weight, the perfect body composition. I'm happy now it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. So now that's not to say what you should be on at your journey of changing our body. It's just that we when you kind of deconstruct the idea of arriving, you go, actually, we're always on the journey. Always, even if we do get to a destination, we're not fucking stopping, you know. So that's for me, that's the joy.
I'm thinking deep about the purpose thing, and I'm thinking about how how it's tied, how deeply it's tied into our identity, and how deeply our perception of purposes driven by that hard shit that keeps us stuck. And I guess so if I give an example, one of the things that's always been excuse me, in the back of my mind around building my own business and doing all this great stuff was the idea of Okay, like, I
know I'm helping people. I know I'm making I'm giving people resources that are hell right, So that's that's great. But sometimes I go, but I'm not helping. What am I helping for? Nothing? Like, what's a bigger purpose? Where am I really? Where's the big cause? The big, overarching what does Roll with the Punches and Tiffany Hooks stand for? That matters, that's not commercial, and I don't. I always
feel like i'ven't landed on that. And then I think about how busy I make myself and how I self sabotage that never so I look at how hard I work, and how I never feel like I actually get any closer to any of that hard work coming to real fruition. But then I wrote down, before this idea around, I've always had this deep sense of no one is looking after me. I'm the only one, and so I have to look after me because there's no one else. But I create that because I pushed them away because I'm
scared of connection and I don't trust anybody. I don't trust anybody in my personal life or my professional life. So it's the yearning to want to be something and provide something to others. But I'm encasing myself in providing to me and creating this bullshit story or living or being captivated by it that I kind of know is there. I guess that was kind of what drew me too, that question of you of how long do you sit in a space of observation before you figure out how the fuck do I break this?
Well, I mean you do have that big fuck off sign on your forehead, right, you do do that? Right?
Well.
The one reason that like, I'm going to be blunt and honest, and some people might recoil with what I'm about to say, right, this is just true. Fuck it. One of the reasons that you trust me and you're comfortable with me is because I'm not a man that's trying to get in your pants. I'm not a man that wants something from you other than friendship and camaraderie.
Right, And.
I think that that, you know, because you've had understandably you've had shit experiences and you know, and some men have been pricks and but but all of that, all of the stuff that you've been through, right, But you know, we can't go through life trusting no one, you know.
And it's at some stage, like you know this is ironic coming from me, I guess, But you know, it's like there are lots of people that I love and I'm vulnerable with people because I do I open the door to people and I care about people, and it might not be in a romantic or sexual relationship. Or whatever. But I you know, I care about people and trusting. You know, I've I've had and I won't bore you
with it. I've spoken about, but I've had people very close to me who have ripped me off, stolen money from me, fucked me over in business, people that I loved and I was very close to, and you know, and it's okay, it's like that happens that. But at the same time, I think back to your question of what's the thing that I'm doing that I'm just doing
with no commercial or selfish interest. And I think the skill that you have, which is to coach, which is to inspire and educate people, is you know, do that for someone for nothing or like I'm you know, I help quite a few people and I'm not looking for accolades, and you know, you know the stuff that I do where there's it's just stuff that I do because I think that's the right thing to do and that's part of a bigger purpose, you know. But I think also
you need to well, okay, I'll keep going. You need to proactively think about how can I serve, Like, what's a way that I can serve people that where there isn't anything in it for me, but I'm doing something good for one person or two people or the community. I think I told you about this, Oh yeah, I did. Like I was talking about how I miss training groups of people, right because I used to do that for
a very long time. I train heaps people outdoors, and you know, I regularly would have one hundred people in a group. And I recently spoke to I think I told you about the Base Side Council. So I had an idea, and I don't know where this will go, but my idea was, what if I just do something for the community where I just whether it's once or twice a week, whoever wants to come. There's no cost. No, we're not fucking selling anything. At the end, there's no or.
We're going to get them in. We're going to We're going to low ball and offer them. We're going to get them in. Then at the end we're going to upset like there's nothing. There's literally no sales pitch ever. Right. So I rang my friend who until recently was the mayor of the base Id Council, Hannah, and I asked him, anyway, the not very quick version of this is next Monday,
So we're recording This Thursday. I've got a meeting with three people from the council, from three different departments to talk about what we might do. That is me collaborating with the counsel and then with me and I would and if if possible, I'm going to involve you, if you want to be involved, I'm going to involve other people, fitness professionals, health professionals, and nobody's going to make a fucking scent, right, We're just going to do something good.
And I don't know what that's going to look like. I need to spend some time on the weekend planning because they want me to come to him with something of a proposal. But I don't know what the fuck that's going to look like yet. But I just think, look, I imagine if you know, like a friend of mine, Robin, who runs a beautiful, beautiful not for profit called Strength over Cancer right, and I helped her name that, in
fact I came up with the name. But she's done like it's she does all this fucking incredible work with cancer patients, people going through chemo, people on the cancer journey, and there's this whole network of trainers and EPs and fitness people around Australia that donate their time and skill to train people who are going through this really hard.
I fucking love that, right. Imagine if just all of us people who had, you know, like something to offer, Like all right, I'm going to give the world two hours of me a week. Hey, world, here's me two hours every week? Ah what's that? One hundred and four hours a year? Yep? Who's in? How can I help you? How can I serve you? What can I do for you? I don't want a Christmas card, I don't need a fucking bottle of booze for my birthday. I don't need
any backslaps. It's just like, let me help you, because you need help, that's the reason, you know. So for me, I think there are always ways to create connection with people who need some love, some attention, some kindness and also very timely that we are recording this on are You Okay? Day?
You know.
I actually put out a thing on LinkedIn just before, like sharing the love, and I almost didn't put it up because I thought, oh fuck do I put this on LinkedIn? It's not a very LinkedIn kind of vibe. And then I thought, well fuck it. Everyone on LinkedIn. Nearly everyone is a human, so fuck it, here we go. You're all humans. Here's some love. And I know there's nothing you know, there's no strategy or there's no business value in this, but fuck it, here's a cuddle. Here's
a cyber cuddle from Harps. I just think that there might be you know, And as I said to you, I know I'm over talking. I'm aware of that in the moment. As I said to you the other day, at my event in Melbourne, while I love you know, most of the majority of my listeners and the majority of my followers and friends and attendees women female. We had a disproportionate number of blokes. So we normally have ten percent blokes. If that, it was probably thirty, which
is fucking amazing. And the amount of dudes that came up to me and gave me a hug and were just like there was just this genuine love and connection. I'm like, it's so good. Let's get through the bullshit. Let's get through the fucking alpha male bravado bullshit, because we're all a bit fucked, we're all a bit sad, we're all a bit unsure, we're all a bit uncertain,
we're all a bit anxious. Let's cut through the embarrassment and the ego around it, and let's just fucking lean in and let's just love people like let's just do that. And I know that right now, in a world that's full of so much fucking division and fish shaking and anger and bullshit, I get it. But the only person that I can control or want to control, is me. So every day I just get choosed. I get the opportunity to operate in love. So that's what I'm doing.
That's me. I'm a soapbox. I just dropped the mic.
Fuck it, I love it. I love it.
We do what we can. I'm just hey, I'll see you at the gym at three o'clock. It's one forty one. I'm just going to get my leotard off the clothesline and it's a.
Big long neon socks again, they look great, Yep.
I'll wear the leg warmers. I'll get my rebox. I'll get my nine eighty four rebox out of the fucking cobwebs and some spandex, a boobtube, a headband, imagine me and a boo tube in a headband.
Buck.
Yeah, come on, Let's tell you what nobody's concentrating now. Somebody just spat out their breakfast, all right, Thanks Tiff, Thanks everyone, Thanks apps,