#1639 Understanding You - Harps (PT1)

start fucking, it's conversational mayhem. And I'm not that great at following a plan or a script. I've been intuitive, bit instinctive. I'm in the moment, you know, I just connect with the audience and then and not that I'm typically a script follower at all, but I did do a fair bit of prep to get through some particular stuff that I wanted to get through, and I didn't get through everything. So I said to the group, I might cover the stuff that I didn't cover or some

of it in a podcast this week. So I just got home and for some reason, I still have some energy, which is awesome, so I thought I might capitalize on that.

idea is not completely original, that's for sure. I've just added and expanded and moven a few stories and examples into the middle of that. But it's something that some of you might find valuable on the journey of trying to understand who you are for yourself and for others, trying to understand who you are, physically, mentally, emotionally, personally, professionally,

what you're about. So I think trying to understand us, trying to understand, you know, for me, trying to understand my mind has been an ongoing thing, trying to understand my biological or genetic potential, trying to understand my own thoughts at times, trying to understand my drivers and my motivators.

And you know, it's for me, and I think for many of you it's kind of an ongoing an ongoing quest is to figure out who we are and how we are, and why we are the way we are, and on top of that, who we want to become and why we want to become that person.

and your own self created reality. There's an idea to lean into, isn't it our own self created reality? The reality that we create an inhabit as separate to the objective reality. That is, there's the thing that's going on, and then there's my story about it. And sometimes I mistake my story for the thing. I mistake my subjective interpretation of the objective event, and I think my subjective reality is everyone's reality, and of course that ain't true,

and of course that is problematic. Continuing on, there's the you that strangers meet, the you that your family and close friends know, or think they know, as the case may be. There's the you that one or two special people get to know, usually just one, and the you that only you know. I call that secret you. And then there's the version of you that you want to become. There's future you, the version of you, the two point zero version of you that you would like to come

become over your self improvement journey. I call these people public you, personal you, private you, secret you, and potential you, the you that you want to become. Are they all you and none of them you? And what's the space between you, the genuine, authentic person and you, the persona that you present to the world. We all have a persona. I have a persona. There might be we might call

that the u Show or the Craig Show. What's the space between you, the you that's just you when no one's looking, and the you that you allow the world to see. What's the chasm there? And what's the benefit of that? Why do we do that? Why is the no one's looking you different? There are a few obvious reasons, but let's put aside, you know, nudity and certain behaviors. But in general terms, the you that only you see and the you that the world sees. What's that gap

and does that service? Is that a good thing or a or a problem? So my observation, my experience, my research, my working with thousands of people over the journey, all of those people wanting to do better, think better, create better, produced better outcomes with thinking, habits, behavior, body, business, brand, career.

My experience tells me that most people derive their sense of self from something external an appearance, a job, an achievement, a number, an outcome, result, reputation, accolades, possessions, stuff we own. Most people inhabit an outside in identity paradigm. That is where we tie our sense of self and self worth and value and identity into something that people can see.

the problem with that, I'm off script again, fucka. But the problem with that is when we get our sense of self and self worth and value and identity from something that is external to our personality, our values, who we are on an emotional, psychological, sociological level, When it's more about a thing that we have or own, When it's more about, you know, in that space of an identifiable something that people can see physically see, that just

opens a door of vulnerability. That's probably unhealthy because if my identity is tied into let's say, my appearance, which is a good example because it was for a long time, for a very long time, well not for a very long time, but long enough, probably a decade or more. I got a real sense of who I was and how I was and my value and self worth from my body from what people could see. And the better that I looked, the better I thought I was ridiculous.

I know, in hindsight looking back, so superficial, so egotistical, so insecure, so many things. I fucking get it. But guess what we do it? We can get our sense of self from our things. But the problem is when I get my sense of self and self worth and value and identity from my things? What happens when my things go? What happens when I'm not pretty or well built? Or what happens when I lose my money? What happens when my followers drop? What happens when my listeners drop?

What happens when whatever it is that gives me that confidence and coons gets ripped away? Then who am I? If you take away that thing? What's left?

So that's the starting point, that's the tipping off point for this notion of trying to explore and understand the self that is you, the capitalist self that is you in the middle of your world, physical you, mental you, emotional, youth, social you, personal, professional, you, creative, you, trying to understand who you are, not just for yourself but also for

those in your world. Now, it's something that I didn't share today which will not resonate with everyone, and I'm going to give you a little heads up.

what to do with it. I didn't know if I was going to post it there's something written on social media, or turn it into something else a whiteboard, and I will reshare it somewhere else. But I'm going to read it to you because once again, in the context of this conversation, I think this really ties in and I think for some people that might push a few buttons.

and all things dopamine. Waiting for opportunities but not creating them, wasting time and talent, so much time and talent, choosing comfort and convenience and gratification in the moment, coming at

great personal cost over the long term. Obsessing about things they can't control, while not taking action, ownership, or responsibility for the things they can, putting garbage in their body while simultaneously proclaiming to value their health, being controlled by beliefs that they didn't choose, and living in echo chambers of ignorance and self righteousness and self pity, getting up every day and doing what didn't work yesterday, despite the

overwhelming evidence of their flawed operating system, and perpetuating their very own self created groundhog day of disappointment and repetition and avoidance and frustration, pointing fingers that everyone except themselves, in the desperate hope that no one will see the reality behind the charade of indignation or the psychological slide of hand carefully crafted to illicit sympathy and pity, and then decades later waking up and saying something like, oh,

this wasn't my plan, when in reality, they didn't have a plan. There was no structure, there was no process, there was no plan, There was just an idea. There was just a wish list of how things might turn out. So I've decided in the moment, I'm going to leave this short installment here because what I have to unpack would make this well over an hour moving forward, and I'm looking at the recording and we're kind of sixteen

minutes or so in. I'm just going to call this part A and call this opening the door on understanding the self that is you and me.

of it is. It just is what it is. You run an event, you pay for a room or a venue. You know, you get a few bums on seats and sometimes it's awesome and sometimes it's not. From a commercial point of view, it just is what it is. But

for me, it's the experience. It truly is the experience of meeting people that you know have sometimes like had a guy come up today whose name escapes me, I apologize, sixty eight year old dude who looked fucking amazing by the way, and came up and Tommy had been listening to me for ten years and felt like he knew me and thanked me for helping him get through certain things.

And another guy whose name I won't I won't say, who battled with depression and suicidal ideation and a whole bunch of things, who just came up and shared part of his story and thanked me. And obviously you know, I don't even know these things, but just to be able to realize it without knowing that I have been a really small, valuable at times piece of somebody's journey with me not even knowing that my intention is that my intention is to be of service and to be

of value and help people. But you know, when it's a one way experience, like it is for the most part, like right now, me sitting in my office on a Sunday talking to a microphone, looking at a screen, you know, with zero feedback. It's sometimes it's not thankless, but it's tough to remember that, you know, I'm talking to thousands

of people like writer like I am right now. So for all of those who kind of support me and send me feedback messages and give me a target these events and come up and tell me that I play a role in their life and I've been in on some level big or small of service to them, I really appreciate. I don't take it for granted, and I am going to say that's what am I going to say.

So you're listening to this on a Monday, some of you tonight, which would be the ninth of the ninth, ninth of September twenty twenty four, I'm kicking off my mentoring program my Mentorship, which is a ten week experience. We've got as I talk, we've got one or two spaces left. It's just for fifteen people. If you're interested in finding out about that, go to my website have

a look. And also, if you're listening to this on the Monday, then tomorrow night, which would make it the tenth of the ninth Tuesday night, I'm running an online workshop called love your body if you want to find out about that.