#1625 You'll Never Have Today Again - Harps

There's no upsell on sell, there's no bullshit, there's no smoke and mirrors, as I think you know is not my way, the smoke and mirrors, the bullshit. I hate selling stuff. I need to sell some stuff sometimes, but this platform, or this particular page is not It's not

a gateway to that. It's just a virtual for people to get together and support and talk and share, and as I've said before here, but also on the page, for people to start a conversation, to ask a question, to help somebody out, to offer some advice, some love, some kindness, to talk about some of the topics and

ideas and themes that run through these shows. I like the idea of I like the idea of having a virtual space where people can kind of get together in inverted commas without any agenda and without any meanness, without any bad kind of juju or energy or vibe. And if there's any of that, which there almost never is, if there is any of that, I'll take it down. It's not say we can't be honest and we can't be real, of course, but we just don't let anyone

running anyone down. It's not the vibe. It's not the vibe of the tribe. And with that in mind, I want to share with you a couple of things that have come up lately. One one came from a lady yesterday. I just want to read it because it's nice and her name is Melody. Hi Craig and the You Project. I started listening to your podcast a few weeks ago and now I'm addicted, absolutely love it. And you were just great. Thank you. I've been through some serious crap

the last three years. And finally in which she goes you were great, I think she means all of us, So I think the vibe of the trip, all of that. Like to show the guests so I wasn't saying that as a personal thank you. I've been through some serious crap the last three years, and finally I've had the strength to face up to the problem and stop harming myself by doing stupid things to maintain a normal life.

I work full time as a nurse for thirty five is in the NHS in Great Britain, and lost my sister and nearly lost my job and became a nan for the first time and still went through the menopause. Fuck hell, that's a tough gig, I hear, but still managed to run every day, bike at the weekends and walk my dog every day. On the surface, I looked okay, but now I've lost too much weight and I'm not taking care of myself, and I've finally made the first step to stop what I was doing and turn my

life back around. I know it's not down to you or your podcast, but it helped me realize I couldn't go on the way I was to. So here's to you and the great work. Please don't ever stop. Thank you Melody, And we get lots of things like that a lot, and for me, what that means is not that I'm great. What it means is we're on the right track, we're doing something right, and I really appreciate that.

And what I loved I loved Melody's message, but what I loved was that well, as I'm looking at this, almost one hundred people have shared a love heart or a care emoji or and a bunch of people have actually written Melody a message, including myself of course. And I don't know. I just think in this day and age where there is so much bullshit, there is so

much anger, there is so much fucking division. There are so many echo chambers where there is so much pretend kindness and pretend care, and you know, there's real care, there's real kindness, there's real love, but there's a lot of bullshit. Then there's a lot of people who are, you know, doing something which looks like kindness, but it's not really because there's an agenda, because they're giving with one hand but holding out with the other, and so

it's not love or kindness. It's actually a strategy. There's actually an agenda. And I hate all of that shit, which is not to say that I'm perfect or flawless, because I'm flawed and very imperfect, But I like the idea that we're creating something that that you know, people can plug into. Where there are other flawed, broken, sometimes brilliant, sometimes you know, crazy, all the time trying hard, humans

like me, just trying to make a tiny difference. And if that is making a tiny difference in our own lives and also the lives of one or two people around us, then you know, I think we're doing okay. So Melody, thank you so much for that. I also got another one that I want to share, and I can't. I can't say too much because I can't say who this person is for reasons that I can't explain. But nothing sinister greetings, mister Harper. Don't you love that this is from a dude? And by the way, I love

it that it's from a dude. I love it that it's you know, what's funny is so much of my stuff and I don't know if you've got a thought, go into the group and tell me. Why do you think you know? It's like if I write a post and I get feedback, or even if I get you know, two hundred likes or something on that of the two hundred, one hundred and eighty will be from women, and I'm not talking about towards me. I'm talking about to what

I write. I don't know why I'm interested in to hear your or as to hear your thoughts on why perhaps there is such a disproportionate number of females who are who resonate with you know this podcast who resonate Most of my listeners are women who resonate with my posts. I'm not fishing here, I'm not looking for a compliment.

I'm genuinely curious. I have a few thoughts and ideas, and I think it's probably around the fact that generally speaking, maybe women are more vulnerable and more open to be emotional and a bit raw, and to think more about behavior and to be open and honest about what's going on on a deeper level. I'm not sure. Maybe that's part of it. Maybe it's you know not but love to hear your thoughts. And what I was going to say was last week I was in Bendigo and I did I did a gig up there for the public,

which was fun. Shout out to everyone in Bendigos. In fact, this time last week, as I record, is it, Yeah, this time like exactly exactly seven days ago to the hour. It's three twenty two now, and this time last week I was in front of a bunch of people in in Bendigo. And one of the things that happens is whenever there, whenever I do a public event, there's always blokes, reluctant, reticent, sometimes resentful blokes that have been dragged along by women.

That's funny because I said, just before we get underway, who are the blokes here that don't want to be here? But you've been dragged here under sufferance by by a female in your life who thinks you need to listen to me. And a bunch of hands went up, and also a bit of laughter happened, and I apologize to them as that I'm sorry you've been dragged along. Let's

hope it's not too shit. But it is funny. It is funny that that is a regular current occurrence, and that never is not the case, Like it's never the case that there's no men in the room who haven't been dragged along. There's always somewhere between one and twenty men who have been dragged along because somebody thinks that they need to open the door on this. You know, this world of personal development or self improvement or you

know whatever it is. You know human behavior and they need to tune in and fucking listen up and do something. So if you got any thoughts, jump in the Facebook page and let me know. All right back to the so from the dude, greetings, miss tap Of. Firstly, thank you for bringing such well being, such an inspiration, super nice. I followed you for about two years and I'm one of those sad listeners who have heard every episode very nice.

Your insights and the topics covered by you and your guests had a major impact in my life, both personally and professionally. I can't thank you enough for that. I was recently lucky enough to meet you in person at I won't say where, and to meet I don't even want to say this bit because it sounds I sound like saying it anyway, but I read it. To meet the legend in person was generally genuinely a highlight. Thank you for the compliment, not a legend, but thank you

that night. Well, I can't read that bit anyway. You gave me an incentive to commit to a course of action and to reach out to you and let you know how it's gone. Well. The time is up, I'm checking in. I actually don't need a response pass a mic at but as part of my personal accountability, I wanted to send you this message. And he talks about all the stuff that he does, and he talks about the stuff the decisions that he's made. I'm just realizing as I'm reading it. If I read out the specifics,

people might figure who this is. Anyway down towards the end, I feel amazing and to have a new verb and focus to continue to build on my growing strength. Even got a personal best time doing something, achieving a time I thought was impossible at the start of the year. Hopefully I'll get to another event in the future, but in the meantime, I want to thank you for doing what you do. You generally have added knowledge and quality to my life and I appreciate everything you do kind regards.

You know, and we get a bunch of those, and you know on behalf of Melissa and Tiff and myself and you know, all of you who contribute to the totality of the typ experience. If we didn't have you listeners, we wouldn't be doing shows. Still, if we didn't have the audience, we wouldn't have the we wouldn't have the relationship with Nova that we do, we wouldn't have the sponsors that we do, we wouldn't be able to keep

this thing running. And so you know, it's just just a shout of gratitude for me to you, and also just an acknowledgment that you know, we're still growing, we're still going, we still have better and worst episodes. I'm still figuring it out, you know. And in the middle of all of the nones and the unknowns, you know, we are. We're doing some good. And I don't often say things like that about myself, but we're doing some good.

We're getting things wrong, of course, but we're doing some good and we're making a little bit of a difference, and for me, that's really important. All right, And again, thank you for your support. So I want to chat quickly with you today about about this. I wrote this post a while ago and it said something like, you've had lots of Mondays, but you've never had this one. And for those of you who listen to this when

it comes out, it will be a Monday. For those of you who listen down the track, same applies to whatever day it is. That you're listening. And it's one of the interesting things about the psychology of time and the psychology of our experience over time. And this is a weird thing I'm about say, but the relationship that we have with the days that we have, it's like, when you're sixty years old. Let's see, there's let's round

it out, fifty Mondays a year. We know it's fifty two, but sixty times sixty years old me times fifty Mondays a year is three thousand. Well, we know there's an extra sixty times too. So was that three one hundred and twenty or something like that, but three, you know, So I've had three thousand Mondays, give or take. So

when Tomorrow rolls around, it's just another Monday. And it's really easy to have that mindset that it's just another Monday, or it's just another Tuesday, or it's just another day. But for some people tomorrow will be their last Monday. That's not what we want to hear, but that's true

for some people. Tomorrow, or for you, if today is Monday for you, or whatever day it is for as I'm sitting here now on a Sunday, for some people, tomorrow will be the last one they have, or maybe they've got ten more, or maybe they've got three thousand more.

We don't know. But I think that sometimes in the middle of the thousands of days and tens of thousands of days and hundreds of thousands of hours that we have, we lose perspective and we forget how precious a day is, and we fail to understand the potential and the possibilities

of a single day. You know, I think about even on this podcast, if I forget anyone, I apologize, But I'm thinking about so a friend of mine that used to be on regularly, Nima Nima Larvi, the pharmacist, you know, he has in the last year, has passed away and he's he did lots of episodes with me. Danny Frawley, who has been on this show, former AFL star and coach of Richmond, and you know, he's passed away. Simon Hammond marketing guru, branding guru, was on this show at

least once, maybe twice. I'm not sure. Simon's not having any more mondays or any more any days. Neither is Nima or Spud Spud rigas Danny, and neither is the beautiful Johnny Ruffo. How gorgeous was john And how much do I still feel Johnny Ruffo's energy. It's like, I know this is sad. I know this is maybe, I don't know, weird for some of you, but for me, it's like there was just an energy about him, and an energy about all of those people. You know I've had.

You know, one of my best friends when I was in my early twenties, he worked with me. He worked with me all day, every day. His name was Maddie. He was my first personal trainer. He was the first employee in Harper's. He worked with me, and he started working with me when he was nineteen, and we spent the next five years together. And he died when he was twenty four. I think it was twenty four, and

I miss him every single day. I've got a bracelets that stays locked on my wrist, which there's just two screws, there's no clasp, doesn't come off, and that the bracelet has not come off my wrist since he passed away. It's got his initials and my initials. It was made the following week, and so, you know, I think about him. I think about Dicko, Robert Dixon, whose brother Pete has been on this show. And Dicko was one of my best few friends at school and he passed away years ago.

And it's there are so many people that come into your life and that are there for a you know, a reason and sometimes a season and and we don't know. And I don't mean to be melodramatic, but in the shadow of life and death, you know, in the context of a person's life, in the context of somebody being here and then not being here, we realize how precious a day can be. Even though this is just you know, whatever day you're listening to this, you're never going to

have this day again. You'll have another if you're listening to it tomorrow for me, which is Monday. Yeah, you'll have hopefully you'll have a lot more Mondays. But you're never going to have this Monday. And you've never had this Monday. You've never had this moment in time. You've never heard these words right now as I am saying them to you. You've heard similar words. You've heard a lot of similar shit from me. But what I'm saying right now, in this moment. On the twenty fifth of

August twenty twenty four. As I sit here, you've never heard these words delivered by me this way to you. This is a first for you. It's a first for you. But because you're very familiar with me and my ideas and my words, it seems like something you've heard before, but it isn't. And this day feels like many days because you've had many days, but it isn't any other day. It is just this day. And the potential of each day is vast. The possibilities of a single day are vast.

But what gets in the way of our ability to do so something powerful and amazing and transformational on a day is not the capacity or the potential that that day holds in store, but rather our thinking, Oh, it's just another Monday, It's just another day, it's just another moment in time, it's just another conversation. And when our thinking is oh, it's just another we've already succumbed. You think about all of the things that we chase in

our world. You think about how much we love and I'm talking about the collective we, the global we, the group we. You know. You think about what is success. When people talk about success in our culture, they are always talking about things. Success in our culture is stuff. It's what you have and what you earn, and what you own, and what you drive and where you live.

You've heard me say this before. Success is about things. Apparently, success is about your brand and your bank balance and how well you're regarded by others, and your titles and your degrees and your position in the organization. And there's nothing wrong with any of all of that. But are those things really the gift? What a gift is time?

What would you if you knew? Now know this is melodramatic, and yes this is hypothetical, but if you knew that you had one week to live one week, but there was a way of getting another ten years, what would you give for that ten years? I would imagine if there was something that you owned, anything that you owned, any money, any possession, anything that you could swap for that decade of life, you wouldn't even have to think

about it. But because none of us are looking through that lens, or few of us are looking through the lens that time is precious, that today is precious, that one day, twenty four hours, fourteen hundred and forty minutes are precious. And we don't think that way, and I don't a lot as well, so I'm putting me in here. But this awareness of the value, of the preciousness of the gift that is a single day. If you knew you had seven days left, what would you do? Would

you be online bullshitting? Would you be hanging shit on people? Would you be I'm not suggesting you do that on the best or worst of days, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be wasting energy and time on meaningless things. I'm pretty sure most of us, if we had one week to live, we would love to be with people that we love. We would love to be hugged and held and to connect. We would love to have precious moments and precious conversations. We would love that. We would

love that. But guess what, we don't do that. We don't have that urgency because we got we don't We're like, ah, I don't need to do that because I've got all the time. We don't know. We don't know how much time we have. I'm not being melodramatic, but we don't. But even if we do have all the time, why do we have to wait? Like? What are we waiting for? I'm not as you know, of course, I'm not against money. I'm not against building wealth. I'm not against building an

organization a business. I've done it. I think building a brand and all of those things can be an important part of our journey. I'm nothing against any of that. But I have intoected with so many people, and I have been one of these people. So many people who from the outside looking in are winning at life. But when you dig, when you get below the picture, when you get behind the curtain, when you scrape away the persona, when you get down to the emotion and the psychology

and the experience. In the middle of all of that, so many people they're not happy. They're not connected, they're not joyful, they're anxious, they're depressed, they're lonely, they're disconnected. It's just an opportunity for us every day to pull back that curtain, to think about what can I do today to make my life better? As you listen to me, now, think about what is one thing you can do today. It might just be to say something kind to somebody. It might be to ring a person and tell them

you love them. It might be to enroll in a course. It might it doesn't have to be something spiritual and deep. It might be something practical. But the reason that we don't feel like every day is a gift is because we have so many of them, and we close our eyes, then we open them, and then we're fifty and some of us say things, or we're forty, or we're sixty, and some of us say things like, this wasn't my plan.

And when someone annoying like me says, please show me your plan, nearly everyone says, I don't have a plan. I don't I want to see the plan that you speaking of. And there is no plan. There was just an idea of how things would end or be or eventuate or unfold. I don't know why, but I have this. You know, maybe part of it is because my parents are old as fuck, God bless them, and I look at the I look at their lives now, and I look at their reality, and you know, they're doing pretty good.

But there's also days that are not pretty good. There's you know, there's peaks and troughs and and honestly, you know, I go see my mum and dad. As I've said to you before, it's it's a fair hike. It's four hours of driving each time, and They're definitely worth it. And but I see them as much as I can, but I just I just have a different value and a different feeling and a different level of gratitude for every hour that I see them and I be with them.

And it's not that when they're necesarily doing anything spectacular. Sometimes it's just being there, just saying, I'm here on a Saturday with my dad. I'm here on a Saturday, which is when I genuinely go by the way. I'm with my mum on a Saturday, and I'm hanging out with them and I'm doing and not much, but I'm really glad because I don't know how many Saturdays I have with them, and I don't want to wake up one Saturday without them and think I wish I had

have done this. I wish I had have done that. You know, It's I feel like sometimes and this is just my feeling and I'm rambling now or I'm freestyling, so feel free to tune out or feel free to lean in. But I feel like we think that kind of life or the universe or God kind of owes us something, or that things will work out, or that you know, we need to wake you know like, yeah, we need to wait for the right time of the moment or a sign. We're waiting for a sign, you know.

But honestly, if you need a sign, here's a sign. I don't think by the way the universe or God has sent me. I just think maybe it is a sign, or maybe you can make it a sign, like building our best life, creating our best relationships, building our best mental and emotional and physical health states. It's not We don't need a knock at the door. We don't need an invitation. We don't need some cosmic sign. We don't need some ethereal, spiritual, mystical, bloody revelation. We don't need it.

We just need to act. Knowledge that we are wasting time, that we are wasting days, we are wasting opportunities, We are waiting for opportunities to present themselves rather than creating opportunities ourselves. Every day is truly a gift. But sadly most of us don't think like that. Can you walk, then that's a gift. Can you walk to a tap and have hot and cold water, that's a gift. Do you have money to go and buy a coffee? Well, that makes you rich. In some countries and some environments.

Can you open a fridge and there's food, or a pantry and there's food. We live most of you and I, most of us listening to this anyway, Maybe not everyone, but most of us Compared to many people in the world. Most of us live in relative luxury and privilege. And

every day you and I get the opportunity. You and I have the gift of doing better, making decisions, changing the direction of our life, being grateful, choosing our attitude, choosing our words, opening the self awareness doore, opening the other people awareness door, choosing to operate in love, choosing to live a life aligned with our values. And every day we get the opportunity to be grateful for the day that we have