Tiffany and Cook, Craig, Anthony Harper.
Oh look at us, look at us, bloody good luck on unit's just on a sad well on one of us better than the other.
One of us.
Looks like they've had a bit of a touch up by Bear the cat who you called a I can't say that word. That's I say a lot of words, but that one.
Mm, well, all cats are sea words because they're cats, So that's a sea word. Yeah, And I did I well, as I I think I said. I don't know if I've said it on the podcast, but I went the other day to get a skin checked, and they you know, it's like just hey, we'll just have a bit of a squizze and look while we're here, well, we'll fucking attack your face with a chainsaw.
You don't know what to remind me of Nicolas Cage, John Revolt his face off. It looks like you've just had that little profit. Is what you're wearing someone else's face?
That wasn't you know when I saw face off it must have been nearly twenty years ago. I thought, gee, that's not a bad idea. If you're a crook and you need to get a new face, but anyway, I don't know if that's possible. Yeah, so it ended up being a little more significant that i'd anticipated. And I know I have the best part of ten stitches in my jaw. And as you said, because you hadn't seen it and you just jump on and you said, I look like I've been assaulted. I feel like I've been assaulted.
And then I had to pay for the privilege.
And that just makes it like I feel like you know, when you see someone with a saw face and then you struggle to move your face because I can feel that. I don't want to move the muscles in my jaw because I can see yours and it feels like it's.
Sympathy pains.
Can you not make me laugh?
Now?
It's all right? When I showed you before we went live, when I when I do that, when I when I try and open my mouth too wide, or eating, you know, other than eating and opening my mouth. So it's all good, it's all good.
What's that before you move on from it?
What is the sensation like of waiting for the biopsy results even you know.
Well, yeah, it's I've done it a few times. It's a little bit nerve wracking, but yeah, you you need to. By the way, everyone, if you don't get your skin checked and you think, oh, will never happen to me, well fucking think again. Think again.
Two people on this show I've had shit cut out of their face, well and a million people.
And like, the thing that I had cut out of my chin looks so innocuous. It looked like nothing. But the thing is, let's say there's something, you know, something the size of a small pe even that they cut. Basically,
I'm showing Tiff this shape. It's it's like an eye, like the shape of an eye, but literally it's about what they cut out was maybe about forty mil or I don't know, thirty, I don't know, but big like so much because they've got to get all the borders right, So they cut it like if you think of your pupil as the spot, and then they cut like this eye shaped thing around and then they go deep as fuck because they've got to get all what they call
the borders. And then they've got to make sure they go deep and get any potentially canterous whatever out and then they stitch that shit up anyway, but the bottom line is, go get your skin checked. I have had quite a few things cut out over the years, but I have not been back for about four years, and I'm meant to go every year. Yes, and i'ld mate. The doctor said to me, well, you haven't been there for a while, so I've got to go back next
week get stitches out. Then I've got to go back the following week for more surgery than following week stitches out, Then the following week more surgery than the following week stitches out. What yeah, yeah, yeah, so I've got two more lots of surgery. I don't know do you call it surgery? I mean they're cutting you and stitching you, so.
I guess surgical removal. So yeah, it is surgery.
Yeah, it's surgery. It's it's kind of under a local of course.
How gross is it though that you can't feel the pain, but you can feel the feeling of that your face getting pulled away is.
Graphically yeah, And you.
Can feel them cutting into your face.
And the sensation of like this. Okay, let's move on.
I know. And so I have had a few concerned folk from so we're recording this Saturday ABO four minutes past to a few a few people from Bendigo because I'm heading up to the thriving metropolis of Bendigo, New York, London, Paris, Munich, Bendigo. I'm heading up there. Well, clearly I love Bendigo because I'm going I'm heading up up there tomorrow tomorrow afternoon,
two to five. So if you hear this in the morning and you're living in the Bendigo region and you want to rock along at two o'clock for a little bit of info, inspo and ed Joe, get the fuck along, just go to the website. But I've had about three emails from people going, oh my god, Oh my god, are you still coming to Bendy Go? Are you okay?
I'll be there. I might be fucking dribbling on my chest, but I might be eating a steak through a straw and fucking handorrhaging down the right side of my chin, but I'll be there.
The good people of Gippsland are on the verge of rioting for you to come down and do something down there too. By the way, you haven't seen that happening online. There's almost a riot in Gippsland to petition you to come your land. Mate.
I do not know what you're talking about. I mean, I'm hearing you, But what what am I missing? What? What do I need to There's probably a terrible time to do it, the.
Tour of your there's people in Gippsland that are wondering why they've been left in the left in the lurch and not included in this.
Well. Yeah, I mean last time I did one in more Well, which just out of more Well in Churchill, in fact, at the university there, which is all fuck, I forget the name of it? Is it Endeavor? Is it? I forget? I think it's I don't know. Can you google it for me because they'll get mad at me. I shouldn't know, but I do go to a lot of places and they had I think it was two hundred and forty seat room that we used and that was booked out and lovely audience, lovely group Churchill.
What am I?
What am I googling?
Churchill University College, University Federation.
That is it?
Sorry? Sorry sorry, only been there once, but yeah, beautiful and beautiful union and beautiful little auditorium that we had access to. So I might head back up there. But it's been a while. It's been a while because of COVID. Obviously we didn't do any big public events at all. Tomorrow is not a particularly big event, but just I think like eighty people or so, just putting my toe
back in the water, just opening the door. And then we've got a Melbourne one I don't know in a month or two, and then we're going to do I'm going to do something, then Brizzy and something, and we're just figuring it out. You know. It's like, it's really I shouldn't be talking about this, but fuck it, I'm going to talk about it. You know, what's interesting is fuck it, I'm just gonna I'm going to talk about it. What's interesting is on facie. In the old days, you
and I may have spoken about this. But in the old days when we would run, say an event at Deacon University in Melbourne, obviously I go, I'm a student at Monash, but we started early days at Deacon. So they have a really nice lecture theater which is, as you've been too many times, six hundred and seventy people and with not too much trouble we would fill it
and so we would advertise on Facebook. Now you would obviously they're not given that room away so you've got a great big auditorium for a whole day, we'll do the new Project conference. So and then you've got to advertise, you've got to get bums on seats, you know, and so there's there's not insignificant costs. But so we would sell tickets for a whole day. I think it would be,
you know, like the retail price. You know how everyone does, oh the retail but if you get it now, it's all that bullshit, right, So I think the actual price was like one forty seven, but you'd never sell them for that, and you'd sell them for ninety seven bucks, which would go discount, and for that they'd get a whole day conference with eight awesome speakers. But then we would do the early bird at like seventy seven bucks. Right, So people are getting these tickets and you know, I
can't be objective because it's my thing. So but as objective as I can be, seventy seven dollars for a whole day program with great speakers from all around Australia that are experts in their field. For me, that's a
bit of a bargain, right, full day program. But what would happen is you would you'd sell the tickets through Facebook, so there's and you can do Facebook advertisements and in the old days now I'm not going to get it exactly right here, but you'd sell a seventy seven dollar ticket and Facebook would take seven to ten bucks, right, and you go, okay, that's not terrible, you know, and then you so then you might end up with say seventy or sixty seven dollars out of the ticket, and
then out of that, you know, whatever is profit. You pay tax on that of course, and then you take out GST of course, and then you've got room, and then you've got you've got to pay all your speakers. So you've got seven times, you know, like it's thousands and thousands, right, and then at the end you go, yeah, we made a few bucks and people had a good day. And so you know what if you sell a seventy seven dollar ticket, now do you know what Facebook take? Give or take?
How much?
About fifty dollars about? I mean it varies. But last time we did it, which is why we went, oh, we need to rethink this. Like you end up doing this great big day and people like look around the room and they go this many people times this much money, you're killing it. Yeah, but it's you know, and I'm
not looking or winting. It's just the reality. So, I mean, everything's evolving, and so even when you're running events now you need to figure out how do we do this in a way which is like you're never going to well, I'm never going to get rich from running events, but that's not my plan. But I just like running events
where hopefully everybody has a good time. We can be respectful of our speakers and pay them what they are worth and also make a few dollars, you know, because she's got a lot of trouble will to run this event. So the landscape has really changed, and that is why, you know, that's partly why even doing like rural stuff I liked, where venues are not so expensive, people are more some of them are more appreciative because they go, wow, thanks for coming to Bendigo or thanks for coming to
more Well or Ballorado wherever it is. Yeah, anyway, so that's it's, you know, nothing stays the same, especially when it comes to like business.
Yeah, that's what frustrates me the very most with social media, and I don't know, probably again despite myself I just don't engage with trying to learn and figure it all out far out your very bruise when you lift your head up. Oh my goodness, have you seen that angle?
Wow?
Not very black.
I don't want to look too much. I feel looking at that, I'm meant to be icing it, but I haven't, but I should. I forget, forget, and then I'm in bed and I'm like, I was meant to ice today. It's a bit swollen and its bit black, I know, and I forget. And I went over before to get a coffee and I forgot that. I literally look like
I've had a fucking car accident or something. And the poor, the poor young lady who would be nineteen years old at the cafe, she was looking at me in horror, and I was thinking, what is she looking at me like that?
Poor?
She goes, I go, could I get her? And she's looking at me and she goes, what are you okay? Like she's like what happened? I went, oh, yeah, my face, I go, No, I'm good, No, I'm good. I go. I know it looks fucking terrifying, but I'm good. So yeah, I know anyway, because.
Because I've got fear of missing out syndrome, and I won't be in Bendio. And I haven't been to your events for a long time because it's been so long. Are they the same? Have they changed?
What's this one?
There's a bit of well, since I've done this kind of public, you know, with more than a few people, it's been it's probably been five years, because twenty nineteen into twenty nineteen, the end of twenty nineteen, we did our last typ conference. Do you a project conference twenty nineteen? Yeah, because remember COVID started late twenty nineteen, early twenty twenty. I feel what we.
Did one since COVID we did one because I'm me at Mark labasket one that we did you did one?
Yeah, we did do no, but not recently like we did do one. Yeah, I think maybe it was early twenty twenty. I'm not sure, but it was a good four anyway, four years ago at least.
Yeah.
So yeah, so I've opened the door again. And what's been good is like in the last four or five years, I've been a whole lot of new stuff and doing my research and you know, opening opening a whole lot of new doors. And so yeah, we're going to revisit some older stuff, but also like the the theme of the you know, the title theme, you know focus is
on understanding. It's called understanding you. And so I think the ongoing you know project for all of us is, among other things, is trying to understand ourselves, like why do I do the things that I do? You know? All this, you know, like why do what? And the you know, my focus? What is it like being around me? What is the Craig experience like for others? Why does that matter? How does TIF think theory of mind? Does it matter that I try to not agree with or
not align with? But does it matter that I understand how TIF thinks? Does it matter that I, you know, all that metacognitive curiosity? Does it matter that I try to understand? And why I think the way that I do? Why do I have the relationship with my body that I do? And you know, specific to you, why do I keep picking shit blokes? You know, like we were joking about the other day, It's like why do I you know, and it could even be for me like why am I commitment phobic? I'm kind of not, but
kind of am you know? What is that about? Yeah? So it's just getting like we're just opening the door on this idea of trying to be more in touch with our beliefs, our ideas, our own mind, trying to understand why do I keep doing things that don't work? You know, what is success for me? What is failure for me? Why am I scared of that thing? What
is that fear about? And do I need to like Because obviously some fears are very valid and they'll keep you safe, and then other fears will actually fuck up your life and derail your potential. And it's knowing which are the ones that I need to step into or lean into. I guess even like the idea of trying to understand your own potential. Like I'm fascinated with I'm not fascinated with talented people. I'm fascinated with what we
can do with the talent that we do have. Like I've said too many times, but you know, one of the reasons I'm fascinated with potential is because I don't think I innately have a huge amount of potential. I probably have an average amount, whatever the fuck that means.
But I think because I've consistently been curious and I've been prepared to roll up my sleeves and get uncomfortable and fall down and fuck up and be embarrassed and do podcasts that didn't work, and then try another one that didn't work, and then eventually try this one and then do six hundred episodes and lose money and then
but keep going. Then eventually you know, all that kind of you know, being the fat kid that ended up not being the fat kid anymore, and that process and that journey, and then being surrounded by you know, often being surrounded by people who I recognize, or at least believe to be more talented than me, more genetically gifted, more inherently intelligent or whatever, but all the while wasting
what they've got. So you know, I mean, it's really about so for me, this workshop or even this idea of understanding you or understanding ourselves is trying to recognize what we're doing that's working and what we're doing that's not, and then I guess, you know, figuring out if we really genuinely want to be the self help spectator or the person that actually gets in and has a crack, you know, and just takes chances and does work and gets uncomfortable and climbs the Mountain.
Is there anything that specifically is there one big thing that you have in this exact space and what you talk about and share. Is there anything that's that's chained a way that you used to believe or perceive something or talk about something that now you have Do you understand differently or have a different stance.
On Yeah, one, I guess a few things. But one thing that sprung to mind when you were asking that was I used to be I used to be a lot more hesitant to be truly vulnerable with an audience, like to be to actually, you know, I think I think it's very common for people to be like almost fraudulently vulnerable, where they're acting vulnerable but they're not really. It's kind of a their kind of role playing vulnerability,
you know. But when I say things that about myself that aren't good, things that like, this is not a greg this is not an asset, this is not this is not a good quality, or this is not a good you know. But I think when you say, you know, when I say that, I'm I still do stuff which is really out of ego. You know. Still now today, I still am insensitive at times. I still want to be the smartest in the room at times, you know,
not all the time. But I recognize these things about me that I don't like, and I work on them. And I don't want self pity and I don't want a round of applause, and I don't need a slap on the back. And if I do need all of those things, well then I'm just creating another problem and another addiction.
Right.
But I think I've learned over the last five years in a really experiential way that you know, the more even I think some of the I think you and I are having more raw and real conversations in the last three six months, and we've been doing a version of this for years now, and I think that like
we get more and more positive feedback. And it's not because oh wow, it's it's so much more polished, or you know, the sound is great, or or as fuck, what a mind blowing topic, or I think it's just you know, to a point anyway, the more that I'm real and raw and vulnerable and honest, and you know, I can acknowledge that I've done some good things and acknowledge that I've done some shit things, and that I'm a work in progress, and then I think that, as
I've said before, that getting closer to that, you know, almost that personal, you know, not the public and not the sorry, not the personal, but maybe the private version of you where you can just I think there's I think it's empowering for others when someone that they perhaps trust or respect talks about their own bullshit, because then we think, ah, Okay, so he ain't really special, which I'm not. He ain't that special, but nonetheless he's doing
some cool things. Maybe I can do some cool things too. Maybe I could build a business or brand, or do a course, or fix my problems or overcome my addiction or have a great relationship or you know, overcome my self limiting beliefs or whatever it is, you know, And for me, that, yeah, that I think that vulnerability is a gift for yourself, and at times I think it's a gift for others, depending on who's listening and where they're at.
I love that, you know.
So yeah, So anyway, that's the that's the new. I'm excited. I'm excited to get in front of a group again. I'm excited to you know. I did a gig the other day for Buxton, a real estate Mornington Peninsula, Buxton real Estate, and I don't know, just I don't know what it is, but I feel like there's been a This sounds weird, but there's been a shift lately. I told you I've never had a standing ovation in my life, and two weeks ago I had two in a week
with two different groups. And I'm not saying that sound good because I'm more surprised than fucking anyone. But what I trust me, I'm like, what the fuck is standing for? I literally was? I literally was. I didn't know why, and then I went, oh, I must have done a good job, but I did, I did a I don't know.
It's like it's almost like the less I prep, you know, I need to know what I'm going to do, but the less I prep and the less I perform right and then yeah, you know what I mean, Like this version of me right now, the more I can bring this version of me to a three hour workshop where it's really it's just more of a group conversation led by me, and of course I'm going to be the guy sharing the bulk of the thoughts and ideas and stories and strategies, but nonetheless really more a facilitator than
a coach up the front barking kind of orders or directives, you know. But the other good thing in the middle of all of that is so much fucking easier, Like it's so much easier just going oh, you know, like ah. And then I did the gig like I said, for Bucks and the other day, and I just got the most beautiful message saying that. You know, I won't say what they said because I'll sound like a wanker, but just the nicest message ever.
Do I think what do you think has contributed? What are the all of the things that might have contributed to that shift? In this overtime, I.
Think I've accepted the fact more than ever that some people are going to really resonate with me and some are not. And it's okay, yeah, and this is going to sound silly, but okay, let me preface what I'm going to say with I want people to like me because I'm human and normal. However, I don't care as much as I used to about whether or not people like me. Yeah, because if my priority is whether or not people like me or being likable, then I can't do the best job because I've got the wrong goal.
If my goal is to be the best person for the group, like, because I know that some of the things that you know, you get more than two people in a room where you're going to fucking ruffle feathers, right, So I know that I will say things that might not with some people in the room be comfortable for them, or what they want to hear might not be well received. But you've just got to accept that, you know, and
and you know. More and more, I just go, look, I know that some people will you know, if the majority don't, then I'm barking up the wrong tree. But more and more, I'm just comfortable with people not liking me, although that's not my intentional goal. But you know, one of my lectures from university first time round a guy who played footy for sin Kilda and Richmond. His name is doctor Paul Callery, and he said to me. We were having a chat and he said, you know, mister Harper.
He goes, if you don't want to offend anyone, then say nothing, do nothing, be nothing, and stand for nothing. And I went, oh, wow, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing, stand for nothing. He goes, that's the only way, and he goes and by the way, you'll still offend people because people look for reasons to get offended. You can have the best motives and tensions and whatever, and there's still somebody, you know. So yeah, so it's been. It's
been an interesting journey of self discovery. And you know, you would hope that when you do a PhD in self awareness that you might get some along the way. You would hope that some of that research might rub off and that you might actually you might actually acknowledge and accept and you know, do something about some of your own bullshit as you try to bring other people's bullshit to their own attention, you know. So yeah, it's been. Yeah, well isn't it.
You know, And it's quite divine when you think about your area of research. Started out wanting to look at motivation and you were you were I was about to saying the most motivated guy, but you were someone who who exercised what looks like motivation your whole life in and have trouble with that, and you've gone into a space that's actually allowed you to grow and develop in a different area.
Yes, like how beautiful?
Yeah, thank you? And I think also, you know, I needed to and I probably didn't know I needed to, you know, I didn't. You know, it's like when you think you're right about stuff. I don't think I was overly arrogant because I always had like shit self esteem and imposter syndrome. But you know when you think you're right, like we all think we're right about certain things, to the point where it's like, oh no, I don't think
I'm right. I fucking know I'm right now. You know, that's almost like the ultimate in I don't know, self belief arrogance. I don't know, maybe it's a blurry line there, but you know, there are things that I used to think that I absolutely, positive, positively, unequivocally I thought that Not only did I believe that, I thought I knew it. I thought, oh no, I know this to be No, this is not a this is not a belief, this is knowledge. But then over time I went on, no,
I didn't know at all. I just thought I knew. It's like I thought I knew, and being able to be honest enough and brave enough, which I'm not always, but to change your mind about things, changing your mind saying I was wrong, not oh yeah, but but but oh no, not fuck all that just I was wrong the end, I was wrong, you were right the end. Or I don't know. I don't know. I wish I knew. I have an opinion, I have an idea, I have some thoughts, but I don't actually know, because people are scared,
because people don't like the unknown. What do you think happens when we die, Craig, I mean that hundreds of times or a version of that, life, death, God, eternity, you know, blah blah, life after death. You know. I spent my life thinking about that. I spent my life in church, being taught, told, trained, programmed, educated, fucking manipulated coerce to believe a certain paradigm, to to intertwine my
mind with a certain theology and philosophy. But when I step back now and I think about my thinking, I open the metacognitive door and I try to remove myself from the programming. The truth is I don't know. That's the truth. That's the uncomfortable truth. I don't know what. I don't know. If there's a god. I wish I could go, oh, I know there is, but I'd be lying. And anyone who says they know, well, I shouldn't say that. But to me it's like, well, if you know, then
show me the evidence, and nobody's got evidence. If we had evidence and we have knowledge, then that would make faith redundant. And religion is all about faith, and it's okay. It's okay that you believe, and it's okay that I believe or don't believe, but it's like it's when it comes to certain things, we don't like not knowing. We don't like being out of control. We don't like the uncertainty,
we don't like the unfamiliarity of ol. I spent my life believing this, and now I'm out here, which is why I absolutely fucking loved that book Unfollow that You'll have you? Where are you with that? Where are you up to?
I've listened to most of it.
I loved that book, and I've spoken about it before. But it's called Unfollow. It's by Megan Phelps Roper. Listen to it on audible if you want to listen to talk about somebody absolutely being heroically brave and challenging the cult that she grew up inwashing, the manipulation, the control. She is so brave, that woman, so brave, so evolved, so enlightened, like she inspired me that woman. She's fucking amazing. And apart from the fact that it's just a cracking story,
like just the story, it's worth it listening. It's worth listening just for the story, but the magical insights in that, Oh my god, about the way that programming, manipulation, control, cognition, metacognition, culture. Family. Is so much great shit in there. It's like, that's like a PhD of the mind. Just that book.
Yeah.
Fuck, if you can listen to that, think about all of the myriad of brilliant messages in there, and the insights and the truth and the wisdom. Oh my god, it's one of the best books I've ever read. And I've read definitely more than a thousand books. It's like a fucking great book. And I don't know her everyone, and I'm not on the payroll.
You probably should be.
I probably should because I reckon. I've turned one hundred people onto it. So that's what I'm doing tomorrow. TIF.
I love that.
If you feel compelled, get in the car and come up.
Go see Harps. See Uncle Harps.
Yeah what about you though, you can do five months.
I'm running a boxing workshop in Port Melbourne on Sunday.
Now, old mate is going to get mad at me, and I apologize to him when I get our fhile. Remember, but you know, I always love opening the door for people, right. I love you, know, like you're wanted. Not that you would have got there anyway, but I think I helped you open the door a little bit, right because I recognize in you all the things you know, drive, courage, knowledge, good communication, and a desire to be you know, doing
the things that you're now doing and more. And so in my own way, I kind of helped you along a little bit. And I love that where I can when I meet somebody and I think, oh wow, and then I open a door for them, and I don't like they take the opportunity just like you did. And then it's all about your work and your effort and your talent. So there was a young guy who used
to think he still follows me. But last time I went to Bendigo was maybe twenty seventeen maybe, and I was kind of over via social media or via messaging, just helping him out. He was sending me. He sent me a thing going, oh, I want to be a stand up comic, and then it done a couple of gigs, a few open mics, and yeah, I mean I love stand up comedy and we you know, we're going back and forth. He sent me like a minute or two of his stand up and then a few photos, and
I was encouraging him and he lived. I don't know. I actually think he lives down here. And I don't know why I have this idea, but last time I went to Bendigo and it was a really big group. Last time it was like three hundred, and I said to him, how would you like to do stand up to three hundred people? And he's like what? And so I gave him an invitation where he could come to Bendigo and I said, you can open for me, And I think I gave him like eight minutes, which is an eternity.
Wow.
When you're like somebody who's not a kind of recognized professional comic, they call them open micers. So you could be an open micer tonight. You could go and they'll go, here's two minutes, get up, do your best. Right. You're an open micer, you're just learning, you're practicing, and generally they're somewhere between shitthouse and not very good. Right but now and then you know you're building skill, you're getting time. So anyway, he came, he came, and he did. I
can't remember. It was somewhere between five and eight minutes in front of three hundred people, and it was a very warm, proud. Yeah he didn't do awesome, but he definitely didn't crash and burn. He did for where he was at on his comedic journey, he did pretty well. And yeah, I just thought of that then while we're talking, I thought, yeah, it's so fun. It's fun to be able to do that for people.
Oh, that'd be amazing. The thing with comedy is the delivery is actually everything, and the delivery is the thing that you are going to be the shittest at when you first start getting in front of audiences you've never been in front of before. Oh my god, I inge on Carl Barron. I think he's my favorite.
Binge on him.
I can watch the same jokes over and over and over and laugh every time, and I think to myself, if he didn't carry on the way he does, they're not funny words, No, it's just dumb mannerisms in his delivery and everything that's right, that's right.
Here, here's a brilliant comic. And if you just if you didn't have his facial expressions, his energy, his physical humor, he's timing his delivery. But if you just looked at the words on twenty pages, you went, here's what he said, and you looked at it, you go, that's the unfunniest shit I've ever seen. But then you put then you wrap it around him, and it's fucking hilarious because he's hilarious.
I love you so much.
But when he talks about his old man, don't be a dickhead, kyl. Yeah, all right, I'm not sure we covered anything today, but that is okay, Tiffany and Cook. I'm going to put some ice on my face.
You go on ice, that bad boy.
Put my head in a sling. Thanks TIV, Thanks ups