#1616 How To Get Started - Harps

a coaching session. I guess a lot of us spin our wheels at the starting line, not creating any real traction, wanting in, tending, thinking, planning, having conversations, almost doing a lot of things, but not actually completing too much over the course of a year or a few years sometimes and many people have said to me, I don't know where to start, or I don't know how to get started. I know what I want to do, I don't have absolute clarity about the protocol or the path I should take.

People tell me different things, and all of that is very understandable, and I will say that, of course, as I've said many times before, there's no three or four or five star plan. Different things work for different people. And there have been many times in my life where I have been captain procrastination, or captain avoidance, or captain intention,

but not captain doing. So let's talk about how to get out of the theory and into the action, and how to actually create some momentum so that we can build on that, so that we can over time create a version of an operating system that is how we live and how we move, and how we interact, and how we do work and life and food and physical, mental emotional health and money and all of the bits and pieces and life and God and spirituality and whatever it is that matters to you, whatever it is that

reflects your goals and values. How we can step into a process and keep that going. So many people do so many things that they almost start or start, but

then throw it not long after that they start. So this is going to be primarily about how to get started, but really to create significant momentum so that we might carry on so that it's not just another short term thing that we do, but rather hopefully this is the beginning of creating some real lasting positive shift on planet you in a real behavioral sense and an outcome sense, and probably along with all that, in a psychological, emotional,

and cognitive sense. We know that creating real change in our world, and real lasting change in our world is in many ways a byproduct of what's happening in our mind. So thinking, attitude, motivation, decision making, action taking, and so on. Right, so here we are, here are some ideas on how to get started. So number one is stop waiting for the right time. Some people spend decades waiting for the right time, And whenever I talk to certain people in

my life, it's never the right time for them. It's going to be the right time soon, but whatever day

we talk, it's not that day. And so this doesn't mean that the moment we have a thought, we need to open the door and start something that day, but it does mean that if you've been using that as a reason it's not the right time, if it's never the right time, if it's always going to be soon, but it's never going to be today, then the truth, the uncomfortable truth, is that it's probably not a timing thing.

It's a you thing. So if you're someone who has historically been talking about this mythical, mystical, magical right time that's coming someday soon but never actually arrives, then maybe it's time for you to just take step. And this this goes with number two, which is don't wait until you're ready. Now. I know that seems like contrary advice, or maybe even counter intuitive advice advice. But what I mean by that is, of course we don't want to

start something completely unprepared and derail ourselves. But I think that we use the I need to wait until I'm ready line as as a justification for not doing something that we know we should be doing, because it's it's much easier to say that I'm not ready or things aren't ready, or this is not a great time, or whatever it is. It's much easier to say that than to say I don't want to get uncomfortable. I don't

want to make a hard decision. I don't want to step out of my current operating system, which is very comfortable and for familiar. And so, you know, like when I think about somebody like my friend Joel who's been on the podcast, Joel Sardi, who who broke his neck quite a few years ago now and instantly became a quadriplegic, you know, he didn't have the opportunity to wait to

deal with quadriplegia and all that comes with that. An event happened in his life, obviously a tragic and horrible event, but nonetheless that was his new version of reality. He didn't have the option of saying I'm not going to do quadriplegia today, I'm not going to do a wheelchair I'll just wait for another year. Then I'll do it. I'll deal with it then. And one of the ever present truths for many of us is that that if

we can put things off, we will. But sometimes we put things off for so long that we go from

it being a minor issue to a major catastrophe. And then if we put some things off long enough, it almost becomes irretrievable, unfixable, undoable, and back to Joel when you know, like, for example, with Joel, every day of his life he just has to deal with the mess and the pain and the discomfort and the inconvenience of having to spend three to four hours every morning once he gets out of bed at four or four thirty am, to be able to get ready, to even have breakfast,

to then go and do a day's work. And yes, he works, and he doesn't have the option of waiting. He doesn't have the option of putting it off, but we do. We have the option of telling ourselves and others that's not a good time, I'm not ready yet. And sometimes in this sense, we need to start before we're ready. In that sense, my next tip is to do something small. Anything small that is going to could be big if you want. But doing something small that's

going to lead to something big. So doing something that's going to create a level of momentum. It might be that that you walk out the front gate and you go for a five minute jog, or it might be a one minute job, or it might be a five minute walk. I don't know what something small represents to you.

Or it might be that you that you have a one minute conversation with that person that you've been avoiding, that you see them and you don't avoid them, and you stop and you be the bigger person if this is appropriate, depending on the nature of the issue, but if it's appropriate, you ask them how they are. You be pleasant, Have you do something you haven't done but you maybe thought you needed to do. It takes one minute, you walk on and then you're really glad that that happens.

So do something small. I don't know what the something is. I'm giving you some examples that may or may not be relevant or appropriate for you, but you understand what I'm talking about. You know, for me, when I dived into my PhD research, and I had no idea of how to research properly, or how to do a PhD, or how to read PhD or postdoctoral papers, and how to speak the language or write the language. For me, it was overwhelming, it was terrifying. It was paralyzing mentally

and emotionally. So what I did was I chunked it down into really small installments where I wouldn't say, right, I'm going to sit here and read this paper for thirty minutes. I would sit and read the paper for five minutes. I'd read that academic journal paper for five minutes. And I realized that for me, reading them on the screen just didn't work. So I would print them out. I would read them on a hard copy, and I would highlight them. I would do that for five minutes.

Then I would go away from five to ten minutes, fuck around, come back. Then I would read what I'd highlighted, and I'd go over it and know it. But I was working literally at the start, which doing a PhD in five minute installments is a terrible idea over the long term, but initially, in a short term, it's what

worked for me. The next one that is something that I've banged on about a lot over the time, and that is to be able to just choose to get uncomfortable, like a lot of the stuff that we need to do is not the stuff that we want to do in the moment, choosing some temporary, short term momentary discomfort knowing that it is going to potentially lead to something

bigger and better and positive over the long term. Like skill like consciousness, like awareness, like competence, like resilience, like strength physical mental, emotional strength, being able to choose to do consciously, to do the thing, the hard thing, the uncomfortable thing, the uncertain thing, the unfamiliar thing, choosing to do that even though we don't really in brack In inverted commas, we don't really want to, but knowing that that short term pain might lead to some long term gain.

Sometimes that's just what we need to do. Remember, all of these are just suggestions. This is not a chronological kind of strategy that I want you to follow point by point, but rather just some different ideas and suggestions. You may employ one or two of them, or none of them, or you might take a few of them

for a test drive. My next thought, and this is good for some not all is to get yourself a coach or maybe an exercise partner or a personal trainer, or a dietitian or a therapist or whatever is or whoever is appropriate for you for you. For some people, like for thousands of people that I worked with over the years, having me involved, for example, as their personal

trainer or exercise scientist. Having me involved gave them a level of structure and accountability and organization and momentum that they would not have had on their own. Also, there were a lot more people who didn't use me and who didn't need to use me. But for some people, of course, and it's not about using me or a trainer. It could be a trainer. It could be just one of your mates that you make a commitment with to work out five days a week or to support each

other or encourage each other. It could be a life coach of business coach. It could be a dietitian or a nutritionist. It could be someone who's a therapist. It doesn't really there's no generic kind of one approach fits all, But it's figuring out what tool or what person, or what strategy or what approach might be the most valuable

to you. My next idea is just to make a decision after you finished listening to this, make a decision today, hopefully in the few minutes after you finish listening to this, and make it. Not My advice is not to make it a massive decision or a tiny decision, something somewhere in between, maybe closer to the tiny end, but nonetheless something that will require an element of effort and an element of commitment. And you know, it could be like when I say make one decision, it could be you know,

let's say you live two k's from work. I'm going to walk to work every day for the next twenty days. I'm going to walk to work, and you walk two k's there, and you walk two k's back, And now all of a sudden, five times four is twenty. Now you're walking twenty k's a week that you weren't walking last week. Those two kilometers if you're walking let's say five kilometers, and how that's going to take you twenty four minutes give or take. On the way there and back.

You might listen to a podcast on the way, you might make some phone calls on the way, or you might do neither of those things. You might just enjoy being in space and time with no technological invasion of your brain via the phone or via any kind of app So just make one decision. It might be I'm going to chuck the shit out of my fridge, the crap out. It might be I'm going to go and buy some fruit. It might be I'm going to have that conversation that I should have had. Anything that is

relevant to you. And all of these things that I am talking about are things that hopefully are going to create a modicum of or a level of momentum, like once we have I've given this analogy many times before. But if you stand behind a car, let's say a car that doesn't have the handbrake on it. It's on a flat surface, it's in neutral and you can push. But when the car is standing still and you try and push the car, it is real hard, depending on

the car and depending on you. Of course, a lot of variables there, but let's just assume this is a car that you can move with a lot of effort. So you push the car. But then once the car is moving, now, let's say the cars moving at four or five kilometers an hour across this smooth level surface. Well, the car still weighs the same it's still the same car. It's still the same weight. You're still the same human

with the same strength. But now that the car is moving, now that there is momentum, you can continue to move it and continue to gain ground and make progress with far less effort because you did the initial pushing where you built the momentum, and that metaphor extrapolates or translates into our day to day life. And that car could be anything. That car could be a breakthrough with a habit or a behavior. It could be a decision that

you make around changing a relationship. And it's just first push that you need to master or you need to commit to for the momentum to carry you on your way. My next idea is to commit for fourteen minutes. This is a this is a bit random. Even if you do this for one week or two weeks. Why do I say, commit to fourteen minutes of something, even if this is all you take away from this, commit to

fourteen minutes of something? Why Because there's fourteen hundred and forty minutes in a day, fourteen hundred and forty minutes in a day, and fourteen minutes is less than one percent of your day. It's less than one percent of the total minutes that you have in a day. So that fourteen minutes could be reading, That fourteen minutes could be stretching, That fourteen minutes could be cleaning out that junk room that has been sitting there and gnawing at

your subconscious for two years. That fourteen minutes could be raking leaves, That fourteen minut could be meditating, That fourteen minutes could be playing with your kids. That fourteen minutes could be doing anything that is going to make your life or you in the middle of your life better, whatever better means to you. Think about that fourteen minutes. By the way, it doesn't need to be all at once. You could do two seven minute installments. You could do

two fives and a four, it doesn't matter. But imagine if just for fourteen minutes, what's seven times fourteen ninety eight. I think that's ninety eight minutes a week. That's over an hour and a half a week of you doing something just by saying, you know what, for less than one percent of my day, I'm going to do this thing my next suggestion. I've got four to go is to My next one is to acknowledge what isn't working. It's not about beating yourself up. This's not about self loathing.

This is about self awareness. So, what is the thing that you are doing typically or consistently or perhaps even habitually on planet you that isn't working? What is the thing that you are doing that really from the perspective of changing you for the better being the person that you want to be, the person that you want to become with the habits and behaviors and results and lifestyle and physical, mental, and emotional health that you want to have.

What are you currently doing that doesn't work? Now? I don't need to explain that, because it makes sense. What are you Does watching thirty hours of Netflix a week work based on who and how you want to be moving forward? Doesn't work in terms of does the way that you communicate with that person is it working? Or do you need to perhaps listen more to a less or change your strategy, Or perhaps the way that you and money coexist ain't working. Maybe you need to change

your relationship with money. Maybe you need to change your relationship thinking, habits, behaviors, lifestyle around food or booze, or exercise. Maybe maybe you're career isn't working. And again, these are not things that we need to change in the moment, but when we get to the realization that perhaps, for example, you know, I realized, and I've said this a few times, but I realized in my early twenties that that what I was doing in terms of work, while it was

okay and I didn't hate it, it wasn't optimal for me. Now. I couldn't change it in a day because I didn't have anything else to go to. But what I did once I acknowledged and realized and owned up to, hey, this is not this thing that I'm doing is not exactly what I want to be doing. I don't really want to work for someone. I don't really want to have a boss. I want to work for me. I want to create my own thing. I want more freedom.

I want to be able to be more creative. I want to be able to work the hours I want to work when I want to work. And that doesn't mean that I don't want to work. It just means I want to work and design a model of work that works for me. And I think from probably the moment that I started to really own up to the fact that me being an employee, me working for somebody else, be it an individual or an organization, wasn't what I wanted to spend forty years of my or forty five

years of my adult life doing. From when I had that little kind of awareness, that awakening. Ah, it probably took me three or four years before I'd built my own thing, but I knew. I knew that I was never going to be a lifelong employee. And like I've said many times, for it's not that being an employee is good or bad, It's just that it wasn't what was going to work for me. So you need to think about if you choose, you need to think about what is working for you, what is great? What are

you doing on a planet you that's great? Acknowledge that, of course, give yourself a tick, a metaphoric pad on the back, unless you're very flexible, then get yourself give yourself a literal pad on the back. But also think about in terms of your lifestyle and your relationships and your money, and your health and your day to day behaviors and maybe even your thinking, what are you currently doing That is essentially a form of self sabotage. Three to go. Next one, I'll be quick. Next one is,

remember we're talking about how to get started. Tell someone, tell someone, own up, be brave, tell someone the moment that you tell a person, you know what, I'm going to do the Melbourne Marathon. But that doesn't guarantee you're going to do the Melbourne Marathon, but it makes it much more likely that you're going to that you're going to do the work, do the training, change your body, get fit, and then eventually do it. Just telling one

person moves the needle. And you might even not only just tell someone, but you might even ask that someone to be an unreasonable friend for you. That is the person that's going to poke and prod you and keep you on track and call you on your bullshit. My second last one is kind of off the back of the last one, but an extension of that is creating

an accountability system. Accountability system could be a range of things, keeping a diary, doing regular testing, having like I said a minute ago, the old unreasonable friend, joining a gym and meeting somebody four times a week. That's a form of accountability. Having a coach. The things that we spoke about creating a process, a structure, a framework, anything that you can plug yourself in the middle of to keep you doing what you need to do. We know that

motivation comes and goes. We know that we get pumped up and then we get unpumped. We know that we get excited then unexcited, and so we want to create a system, a process, a structure, a way of doing and being that increases the chances of us staying proactive and productive and effective even when we can't be bothered. And that's where an accountability system is a very valuable tool. And I guess the last one that I want to share is stop waiting for a sign. Some people some

I think sign Do I think signs are real? I'm not sure. I think in a way, yes, I don't know if there is ethereal and mystical and spiritual as we always think they are. Maybe they are. I'm not sure. But what I do know is that we don't need to wait for a sign to turn our life around, to turn our thinking, to turn our habits, behaviors and outcomes around. If I'm saying something today, or I've said something today that resonates for you, maybe that's a sign.

Maybe this is enough. Maybe you can do the fourteen minutes. Maybe you can tell someone, Maybe you can take action. Maybe you can stop waiting for the right time. Maybe you can just lean into the discomfort and not because you've had some kind of epiphany or massive light bulb moment, or because the universe has just presented you an incredible sign, but just because, in your heart of hearts, you know that you just are wasting some of what you have.

You are wasting in a way, time, or you are wasting talent or potential, and you know you know that you're not going to accidentally land on your feet, You're not going to accidentally succeed. You're going to do the work or you're not. But in order to get where we want to go, we've got to get started. So roll up your sleeves,