A team.
Welcome to another installment of the Youth Project. Craig Anthony, Harper, Peter, what would it be, Peter, Michael Sage, Peter Anthony. I wonder if it's a vow. What's your middle name?
Bro?
You'd have been guessing for a while. I don't have one.
Oh, well, there you go, Peter Sage. Now Peter Sage and I connected through Tony Man's. Tony jack Mans, who's a friend of mine who's been on the show a little bit talking about his journey, said you've got to get this bloke on. He changed my life. And so if you change someone's life, and somebody's pumping up your tires, that's an Australian expression, mate, pumping up your tires. So he speaks highly of you. So I'm excited to chat with you. Welcome to the You Project, Craig.
Real pleasure to be here. And again, any recommendation from Tony is something I'm happy to contribute to.
Well, we appreciate you. Now without me reading out some I was going to say some boring bio. It's definitely not a boring buyer. But rather than me read something off a computer screen, tell my audience a little bit about you. Some will know you, but a lot won't tell my group a little bit about who you are and what you do. If you don't mind, please certainly.
And there's two sides of this. One is I'll give you a brief overview. The other is to remind you I'm just a guy.
It's a blind Yeah.
I dropped out of school of sixteen. I've got no formal education. I went I got a PhD in results. I started my first company at seventeen. Since then probably had twenties seven to twenty eight companies, many internationals. Some have been multimillion dollar success stories, some have been absolute failures, some have wiped me out at the knees, some should have stayed ideas when I was drunk, and pretty much
everything in between. But through that journey as a born and bred entrepreneur, the parallel journey that I had starting at seventeen was personal growth, human behavior, trying to understand why we do what we do. We'll guess this up in the morning, excited or not. And so that's really what my journey is, A sort of come full circle to teaching that now my main business now for the last two to three years has really been focusing on how to help other people learn from most of my mistakes.
But yeah, just a guy. I've seen a lot, done, a lot, made, a lot, lost a lot, had a lot of fun. Here to help if I can.
The world is your classroom and every day is a lesson. Dude, Same with me, Same with me. What did you you said you some things work, some things didn't work, and you know, failure, lesson growth, whatever we want to call it, but let's let's go with failure for the moment. What did the failures teach you? And I'm sure there was a range of lessons, but what did you learn through fucking up? What did you learn through not getting the outcome that you wanted?
I often help. Failure is my biggest capital per Most people link the word failure because they've had an indoctrination through the school system of thinking if you fail something, then your life is over, You're not good enough. It triggers the fear that we are and all of that deeply shame. And that's not if you know, there is
no real failure in business. There's only a different outcome to what you want it, and so it was important to understand that failure in that regard that the biggest lesson you want to learn is to how to reframe failure because there is no failure, it's just different outcomes. And business is dynamic, it's always moving, things are always changing. There's a thousand things that day outside of your control
that you never can control. So learning how to roll and flow with the bends of the river of life rather than fight the current and swim upstream is probably one of your biggest assets or skills as an entrepreneur. So, yeah, I learned a lot. I also learned that business is about adding value. It's not about trying to get something. You don't get sales. You serve clients. And from that perspective, it shifted a lot in my early days.
Yeah, yeah, I love it. Did you ever get to you know what's that saying? It's something like, you know, make sure you're climbing the right mountain, right, did you ever get to the top of the mountain? And did you ever get to the top of the mountain? Go, oh fucking hell, this is not the one. This is like the view is good, but this isn't what I thought, and this isn't where I need to be.
It took me, thankfully early in my career mid twenties, until I finally realized there was a massive difference between a life chasing success and a life chasing fulfillment. And so many people, as you say, get to the top of success mount and they want to jump off right because they were sold even the entrepreneurial lie. And this is so if it wasn't as tragic, it would be comedic. And that is that I've seen so many people that slave away, sacrificing everything to try to elbow their way
up that mountain. And even if they get their number, and everyone's got a number, but even if they get it, which is the one percent of the one percent that finally cash out, right, They've sacrificed their relationship, They've missed their kids growing up, They've put everything in blood, sweat and tears. They get the top of success mountain, they cash in. What do they actually do with their money?
When I've coached enough of them, I'll tell you The first thing is they do is they pay for their divorce. The second thing is they try to hire a personal trainer at best or a surgeon at worst to try to get their health back. And then they buy their kids loads of crap so they hopefully love them again.
It's the entrepreneurial joke. So understanding how to navigate what you would cause success mountain and turn that into fulfillment mountain is a big psychological shift for a lot of people, and part of it was driven by you say, what I learned from failure? One of the things I learned is that trying to prove to the world that you're good enough in order to avoid the insecurities that you're not,
which I had many of, is a fool's gain. Why because eighty percent of people don't care about your problems and the other twenty percent they're glad you have them.
So fucking true. Why do you say, why do you think that is great? That's great. It's kind of brute, but kind of true. Why do you think that we are and I'm talking about the collective we so maybe not every person listening, but definitely me for a lot of my life. Why are we so desperate to get approval from people who don't love us or you know, oftentimes even care about us. What is that?
It's a rotualization, but it's accurate. And primary reason for that is because as human beings. We have two natural fears. We're born with two fears, the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. Everything else is learned and just through the psychological journey of how we take on the role as parenting as human beings. I'm not saying it's right along and I don't have any other answers because A, I'm not a parent. You know, I have
two Jack Russell Terriers, right, they're my kids. But when it comes to understanding that the journey, it's worth looking at it from this angle, and that is that when a baby's born, it has what we call unconditional love. Why because if it wakes you up at two in the morning, it's in con venient as a parent, but you don't blame the baby because it's what babies do. And without that level of attention, A, you're a bad
parent and be it'll probably die. We call it failure to thrive centrome if it doesn't have the physical touch of nature, because babies are one hundred percent useless when it comes to self sufficiency. It's just part of the game. And the reason for that is they have mirror neurons because they're there to learn from their environment. We don't have that many in built instincts, like things that hatch
out of an egg and never see their parents. So at around eighteen months to two years old, right, babies go through a transition which we collectively call the Terrible twos. Right, well, all of a sudden, now they go from this cute little baby to this foot stomping terror. Right now, Why is that? Parents don't know? Well, it's understanding the psychology. You've just had your entire life of two years being the center of attention. Now you're no longer the center
of attention, but you still want to be. There's a kick back to that, So it's understanding context. But at some point during that journey of two to three to four years old, the parents understand that there is now a feedback mechanism. The baby is now starting to understand levels of communication, which is why the first word most people learn humans is no, right, because it's what they hear the most, because parents are always saying don't do that,
don't do that out of fear and security for the kid. However, if we take out earliest memory four five six years old, the reason that most people have such a fear of failure or are desperately trying to prove to the world that good enough, regardless of whether the world validates it or not. Is because when that the model of parenting that is then overlaid, when there is two way communication is that if you do something I approve of or I think is in your best interest, I reward you
with validation, approval, yeah, love, et cetera. When you do something outside of what I deem to be the correct behavior, the perception of the child not the reality, because the parent still loves the kid, but the perception of the child is that love, approval, validation is withdrawn, so that by the time we get to our earliest memory, we've already got several years of being conditioned that love is earned through correct behavior, and we then spend the rest
of our lives validating that in our own relationships. But more importantly, it instills the primary human fear that every single person has to some degree, and that is the fear we're not enough yeah wow, which, ultimately, if you peel back the onion, one more layer is the fear we won't be loved. So we spend most of our life adapting our behavior consciously or unconsciously forming a personality consciously or unconsciously around trying to get the approval of validation.
If your parents were angry and you had to toe the line, you became a people. Please.
Yeah.
If you parents were chaotic, you had to try to form some level of control. If your parents were distant, you'd create more imagination in your head, and now you're a dreamer. That there's many patterns that are fixed that then project throughout our lives, but ultimately their adaptation mechanisms to avoid the primary fear that were not enough.
One of my favorite quotes from Oscar Wilde is be yourself. Everyone else has already taken just taken right, and that. I love that. That's kind of cute, but it at the same time, like a lot of the messaging, especially for young people, is no, you need to look like this, you need to be drinking this, you need to be driving that, you need to be wearing that. And not just young people, I guess, especially being reinforced, I had to sound like the old guy. But you know, social
media serves. Social media is just a tool. I'm not against social media at all. I use it, You use it, you know, and it can do some really good things, But there's this kind of there's this dichotomy of messages.
On the one hand, we're being told you're enough, you're all you need, you know, be you be authentic, but we're also being told, no, you need to have more of this lesson, that you need to be bigger and leaner and prettier and handsomer and all of these things, you know, and that on a level, I feel like we're trying to resolve internal issues with external solutions Peter.
Correct, and it's never going to happen. Why Because the number one rule of relationships, for example, is nobody can ever love you more than you love yourself. And if you're constantly seeking external validation to cover up internal securities, you're you're running east looking for a sunset. And while you're running east looking for that sunset, then you're being
sold at the problem. The reason you haven't seen the sunset yet is you haven't got the right sneakers, you haven't got the right diet, you haven't hired the right person trainer. You're just not hustling hard enough, and so you buy into all the external solutions hoping that one day, if you just crack the code, that sunset will appear. And it's a fundamental paradigm shift that most people need a break out of, which is why I said, most
people don't care about your problem. The other twenty percent they're glad you have them. Yeah, stop trying to validate yourself through the eyes of others. It's never gonna work. So if you want to resolve some of that, let's get practical. Right, if we create a model of understanding ourselves in the mirror, which most people have no clue how to interpret apart from through the lens of insecurity. Not good enough. Oh yeah, I noticed what's wrong before
I notice what's right. I can't even receive compliments that kind of stuff. Poor self image. You want to see an area people destroy themselves, it's self image. And so let's create a model. Einstein said something powerful. He said, you can't solve a problem at the same level of consciousness that created the problem. Sounds pretty smart. He was a smart guy. What the hell does it mean? Well, if you take the word consciousness, you've kind of got
two camps. You've got the left brainers that are still trying to prove the thesis that the brain creates consciousness and They've never been able to prove that, nor will they because the brain doesn't create consciousness any more than the television creates producers and writes programs. Right, it's you know, it doesn't work that way. On the other side, the right brainers at the extreme other end, are all about,
you know, connect to the divine. Let's hold hands sincome by our and some magical formula will present itself and we all love each other. Doesn't pay the mortgage on Friday. So let's try to look at how we can get value from what Einstein was trying to teach us. So if we take conscious and if you struggle with the word yet, just call it awareness, right, because that's ultimately what you are. You are an awareness. Right. So there
are four levels, and this is a model. It's only a model, and we use models just to try to get some advantage as to how we can be better. Right, it's not the truth, because you know, I actually do know the truth with the capital T, right, And anyone else tells you a different truth is because they're trying to sell you some other crap. So I'll give it you for free. Here's the truth with the capital T. We don't know the damn truth. Right, So let's just
own that. So this is just a model, right, four levels, four levels of consciousness. The first level at the bottom of the tree is what I call the level of to me, also known as victimhood. Why because the mantra of to me goes something like this, Well, I would have the house, the car, the body, of the relationship, the life I want, but everything happens to me. Yeah, now that sucks. And nowhere in the universe does life reward that level of consciousness other than to give you
more crap to complain about. And some people then validate themselves by that story, which is why you try to solve their problem, they'll hang onto it like a trophy.
Right.
Or you manage to solve their problem, they'll go find and another one.
Yeah, right.
If their enemy dies, they'll find somebody else to blame and complain about. Right, it's the level of victimhood. And unfortunately there's a lot of people that get stuck there for one reason or another. But ultimately, if you're maturing emotionally, you know which is a choice. You know, we don't get to choose whether we're mature physically. You and I certainly aware of that, but biologically it's part of the
rule set. Emotionally, spiritually, energetically, it's a choice. So if you choose to want to grow out of victimhood, you move to the second level of consciousness, and that level is what I call buy me. Why because you're sick and tired of being a victim. You know you want the life you want and if it's going to happen, it's going to happen by me. Yeah, I'm not waiting for the life to come save me. No one's coming to do that. People in victim mode secretly hope someone's
coming to save it. Ever, never gonna happen. Right, So the problem in buy me is this, you are now fighting reality. You're swimming upstream against the current and you are you're kind of bending the branch back on the tree of life, and every time you let go, it slaps you in the face. It's exhausting. You can hustle and get stuff done, but that's running up success mountain, getting to the top and saying I don't like the view, or dying of a heart attack halfway. That's the game.
Most most of personal growth. Most people listening to podcasts like this are in one of two camps. Either they're in to me, trying to get to buy me and just need that motivation, that kick up the backside, that reminder that it's not who they are, or they're in low by me, trying to get to a higher level of buy me. Yeah, I earn fifty grand a year, I want one hundred and fifty. I earn a million, I want ten million. I want to ten next this I want to It's the hustle mentality. It's the how
do I get more? How do I achieve more? Do more? Right? Because victimhood looking over my shoulder ain't where I want to go. So I want to move forward, thinking the further I get from that, the better my life will be. Not realizing that you're now getting exhausted, You're burnt out, stressed out, you don't have energy to sleep with your partner at night. You've forgotten what your kid's birthday because you're too busy trying to keep your eyes away with caffeine.
You get the idea. So by me is a necessary stage of development, but it is not where all the fulfillment lies. That comes in step three, third level of consciousness, which is what I call Through me and through me is where you stop fighting the river of life and you start learning how to sail with the bends. You're no longer trying to resist. You're practicing a level of non resistance. You're not passive. It's not from an apathetic level of victimhood into me, but it's not the go
go go achiever level in by me. You're now in a flow state. You're in a creative state, and that has where synchronicity shows up. It's where things just to unfold far more effortlessly. You meet the right people, the right things tend to fall into place. Now, the fourth level at the top of the tree is not something I'm qualified to talk about. We call that asthmi. That's essentially non duality, oneness, where you recognize yourself in everybody else.
It's where the spiritual masters talk from. But again out of my pay grade speciality. My market I've devoted my life to is getting people from buy me to through me. Why Because I know what it's like to work one hundred and thirty three hours a week, drive home from the office at two in the morning every night, and one night fall asleep and hit an intersection at sixty miles an hour. I know that game and wondering what
the hell am I doing? Luckily I was twenty five when that happened, and it woke me up literally physically and emotional, and I started to ask what is this about? But if you want a path again, make it practical.
I don't.
There's too much philosophy around. We need stuff. As Jodaspen says, it's not enough to know these days now, you need to know how. Yes, right? So from my side, how do you get from victimhood to achiever? How do you go from to me to buy me? What do you got to give up? What do you got to replace it with? Pretty simple? First thing you have to give up is blame. Blame doesn't work in any theater of life. What do you got to replace it with? Personal responsibility?
If you give up blame and replace it with personal responsibility, you can quickly move out of victim into the achiever world and it's a far better place to be.
Yeah, but I'm like in a workshop. I'm I'm in a workshop. I'm taking notes like a fucking like a UNI student over here. I forgot, I'm in a podcast. I'm just taking notes.
Every day in school day you said that great.
Yeah, this is great, dude, this is great, bro, keep going. I'm fucking I'm drinking coffee, I'm taking notes. I feel like I'm in a tutorial. I forgot I'm hosting a podcast.
I just want to add value. So hopefully this will be that inspire or give some framework the people to be able to be useful for them. That's that's my intent.
I'm loving it.
Yep, buy me to throw me that's the key area. So what do you got to let go of? And some people aren't going to like hearing this. The first thing you let go of and buy me if you want to progress is the need for control. Some people don't like that. Now bear in mind, I didn't say control. I said the need for control. Most people are so
fearful behind the veil. They're so desperate to prove to the world they're good enough to get their goals to finally, you know, whatever it is, stop paying rent and buy their home or you know, pay for their kids, edut, whatever it may be. They're so desperate for that. They are trying to control things they can't control. Yeah, now they're trying to change reality by wrestling with it, and I've got news for you. I give that up a long time ago because the reality is reality. It keeps winning.
So giving up the need for control, what do you replaced that with? Trust, faith, a sense of knowing, knowing what. Let's come back to Einstein. He said, the most powerful question you could ask a answer in your lifetime is this, Do I live in a friendly or a hostile universe?
Yeah?
Now, if I say I live in a hostile universe, whereas that everything happens to me, or I'm in buy me, I'm in survival. I'm trying to carve my way out and everybody else is. I'm in competition, right, I'm trying to fight everything else. Yeah, that's living in a hostile universe, and it's bloody exhausting. If you choose to live in a friendly universe, where life happens for you, not to you, where things happen for three is that if this happened,
it'll be this or something better. I'm not attached to the outcome. I'm just putting one foot in front of the other with a smile, doing the best I can, leading with my heart, knowing that I'll always be okay at some level, now if you can do that, because what Einstein was actually saying was there is no friendly universe. There is no hostile universe. What he was alluding to was something more powerful, and that is it is a
self reflective universe. See, universe doesn't care what you want, doesn't care what you pray for, doesn't care what's on your vision board. It cares about who are you showing up as? Yeah, and if you can show up in partnership with a friendly universe, the external world is a mirror. It's going to reflect back evidence of your general attitude, not your wishes hoax his eyes that your mind's trying
to cover up your insecurities with. But what are your heart and mind actually aligned with that shows up as you authentically. So that's really one of the secrets to getting into through me is to start learning to trust. And one of the best ways to do that stop focusing so much on your damn self. Start looking about what can I contribute Because the two biggest laws of nature and I didn't make these up. Just look out
of your window, growth and contribution. If we need certainty, security, focused on survival, significance, ego, distraction, pleasure, all of that are needs of the personality, but growth and contribution and needs of the soul. Why do we need to grow so that we can contribute? Why do you get into personal growth if it's so you can get more stuff,
don't expect a lot of help from the universe. If you're getting into personal growth so you can become more of who you are, so you can find your gifts, so you can give it away, expect things to line up.
So why do so many people, in answer to your original question ten minutes ago, why do so many people struggle to be externally validated Because they're trying to get out of to me or they're trying to validate themselves in buy me, and they've not managed to tune into a higher part of who they really are that doesn't need validation. Oh so you're not six foot three in buff Who gives a crap. Whatever hand you got dealt
with is a hand of unique personal spiritual magnificence. When you can look in the mirror and love your uniqueness, accept what you perceive to be flaws, what the media is going to tell you is a flaw. In case you buy their shit, then you can start letting go of being an unpaid filmmxs during some big budget, commercial driven disaster movie and start starring as your own self.
And I'll tell you this right off the front. I've seen it too many times, Craig, that the people who love who they are in the mirror, that are sure that have been given a body structure that wouldn't appear on the front cover of a magazine, but have that spark, that inner ever vescence. They are more attractive to more people than somebody that's just saved up for their cosmetic surgeries, starve themselves to wafness all right, walking around with fake hair,
fake nails, fake lashes, fake tan. Right, So, and then wonder why they can't get an authentic partner. Yeah right, Not because they're bad people, because they were sold a lie that you're not good enough the way you are, And I'm here to tell you are. When you believe that as much as you and I believe in them, they will make that first step out of that I
need to buy this, get that own this. Right. They're not going to give a crap about how many likes they get on anti social media, which is pretty much what it's become. They're going to start living for who they are and asking better questions.
Yeah, yeah, I love it all right. So I don't want to open my door on my shit because everyone knows all my stuff. But I've probably in my life had what I would call but one of a better term, three or four or five epiphanies where it's like fucking a light went on, like it's like a curtain pulled back, and I went, ah, like I'm the problem, or ah, that's how that works, and I could. I won't bore you because it ain't about me. But have you did you as a young person, did you have an epiphany?
Have you had an art I'm sure you've had a bunch, but tell us about one or two where it's like, all of a sudden a light came on and you recognized or realized something that was life changing.
Many moments, but I'll share one.
Yeah.
I was at an avent for fifteen years. I was an experienced trainer with Tony Robbins. So I travel around the world with Tony doing events and helping people and interventions and that kind of stuff. But at one time, I was always trying to make trainer. Before you become a trainer, you're kind of on the leadership team kind of an apprentice. My goal was to try to be a trainer, which by definition means you never will be because you haven't already owned the identity of a trainer. Right. Yeah.
So I want to be an entrepreneur means you never will be right because you're always trying to be something, which means you can never step in. I am an entrepreneur. It means I'm now going to start looking for opportunities.
I want to be an entrepreneur means I need a business to validate myself anyway, So it was a side but I had this epiphany that absolutely shook me to my core because it was when I realized that every time I thought about something in my past, a scenario, a scene, any memory, I always saw myself in the scene. Now that clearly isn't a memory because I wasn't outside of myself capturing that memory. It was a construct. Wow, which meant that even subconsciously, I was always looking through
the lens of how do people see me? Yeah, to the point where I didn't even own my own memories anymore. I made them up.
Wow.
Wow. I was never fully associated. I never remembered something through my own eyes. I always remembered it as a scene with me in it, and that was like, what the hell has my life become trying to chase what I call goop? Goop the good opinion of other people. Wow, And if you spend your life swimming in this sticky, nasty, smelly, potential sucking substance called goop, you are never going to do anything other than play I'm a victim or I've got to try harder to try to get more of
the same fee. Yeah. Yeah, And that was a big ones like whoa what? Why am I so obsessed? Why have I consciously unconsciously created my entire life through What do I think other people think of me? As I said earlier, Yeah, the reality is this. In fact, I'm gonna I'm gonna give you a metaphor here that I think is going to help a lot of people who if they resonate with suffering from goop at some degree. Yes, we all star in a movie I've alluded to that right,
called the Movie of our Life. Now I know, Craig, that you star in the movie of your life. How do I know that? Because you're the only one that's in every single scene of your movie yeah, right, So you're the star. There's no co stars. There are two other types of people in your movie. At best. There may be a supporting cast, sibling, spouse, best friend, partner, whatever. Yep, But the vast majority, ninety nine percent plus of people in your movie are nothing more than film extras in
your movie. Now, that's not being disparaging. There's a clarification there. What do I mean by filmmaker? Pretty easy? People you're no longer thinking about, when they're no longer in your current scene. You're right with me. Yeah. So here's the thing. Because we walk around as the star of our movie, we think everybody else sees us as the star of our movie. Yeah, but of course they don't because they're not starring in our movie. Whose movie are they starring in?
Yeah, they're right, yea.
Our own, which means, by definition, we play one of two roles in everyone else's movie at best. For a handful of people on what you could count on one hand, we are a supporting cast. But the vast majority of people in our movie, Craig, specifically, the ones that most people invest their energy trying to impress, trying to get approval from, trying to be getting a good opinion from are nothing more than you know, film mixtures in our movie, and we are film extuers in their movie. What does
that actually mean? You want to tattoo this on inside of your eyelids. Most people don't care enough about you to bother to give an opinion. Why because they're too busy being worried about what they think you're thinking of them.
Wow.
Wow, everybody's walking around in their own bubble of self importance thinking I wonder what they're thinking of me in my bubble of self importance. When they're not because they're thinking, I wonder what they're thinking of me in my bubble of self importance. And when you burst that bubble, you can step into your power. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm going to tell you something funny. So I love this and I don't disagree with anything you're saying. So my PhD is in goop, like my literal research. My literal research is in a thing called metaperception and meta accuracy. But let me draw the draw the line in the sand. So what you're speaking about, I think, is the not very healthy habit of worrying, worrying about what people think of us, whether or not they like us all that stuff right, and then trying to keep
them happy. And my PhD is in a thing called, like I said, metaperception, which is having an awareness of how you are perceived and processed and experienced by other people, so that like, for example, it's important that I try to understand the reality, the personal reality and thinking and mindset of Peter Sage, so I can have a good chat with you. We call that theory of mind. Is my ability to understand how you think. You and I are in the same conversation right now, but you and
I are not in the same experience. So it's in my interest to try to understand your version of reality right now, not agree, not disagree, not fucking value it, just go ah. And then, even more importantly me as a professional presenter speaker all that bullshit, just like you, it's in my interest to know what the Craig experience
is like my audience. Now, if I think I'm fucking riveting and fascinating and engaging and they think I'm fucking mindlessly boring, and I don't know, I'm in trouble, right, So that's the differentiation. But you are exactly on the money like that. The whole the goop acronym. I love it, But it is so funny. As you're talking about that, I could hear some of my listeners going, hey, that's not what you say, but it is what I say,
because we're talking about different things. But that is a that is a really interesting kind of and it's funny that you have just explained in very relatable, easy to understand terms, something that a lot of people with respect who have spent decades studying the fucking human brain and mind and social psychology and behavioral psychology can't really articulate that. Well, So well done. I love it.
Yeah, thank you, No, I appreciate that. And you know, people say, well, where do you go from that? Because the revelation itself awareness is the first step right to break in those changes. But I say to people, so many people are running around seeking that validation, that external ballet, like a begging ball, hoping to get some love points dropped in it, some validation points dropped in it, some
approval points dropped in it. Right, And of course it's like food, right, once you have some, you're full for a while, but soon after you're going to get hungry. Because it's never a long term solution. It's like motivation. You always need motivation. Inspiration is the nuclear fusion of the human soul. You don't need motivating if you're inspired.
It's two different fuel sources. So how do you how do you get out of that external requirement for constantly needing valet It's because no amount of compliments, no amount of tends on a feedback form from the audience, no amount of pat on the back is going to last long term. If the pattern that you're looking to try to complete is based upon internal insecurities, using external validation to solve it, it's just never gonna happen. Right again,
running east looking for a sunset? So yeah, how do you look at you recognize most people out there in the world are holding that begging ball to some degree. So how do you get out of that trap? Pretty simple? You shift the focus one hundred and eighty degrees. Instead of saying how can I get significance, You're start saying how can I raise the significance of others? Not from a horse trade level of transaction, hoping, Oh, if I give you some feedback, and then I'm fishing for compliments
to get some for myself. That's bullshit. That doesn't work. Universe doesn't hear that. But how can I shift my focus? You look at people like Gandhi, like Mother Teresa, like Nelson Mandela. Yeah, I've got them on the wall behind me. What was their energy when they walked into room. They didn't say look at me, they didn't say please notice me. They looked at people, and they made those other people feel like the star of their own movie. And if you do that, I got news for you. They're gonna
light you up like the star of yours. You don't need to seek validation, you get it by osmosis. Yeah, and I can give you another example. As a speaker in my early days, that's what I needed. I needed validation. Yeah right. I was looking at the feedback forms and thinking, well, you know, you could get nine tens and then one person give you a two with some nasty comments and it put you off for the day.
Right.
And my intention going on stage was how can I get a good score? Because I thought that's how I validated myself and so many people out there. How can I get a good score? How can I get more friends? How can I get more likes on my post? When I show people my feet or my breakfast or some bullshit? Right, how can I you know.
Please don't showish your fucking fate, please.
You know what I mean? Right? Weird? How can I please mum and dad by getting the right career whatever? You pick a fricking man. So instead of doing that, instead of playing the game of how can I get validation, you turn around say how can I validate others? How can I make people? How can I put a smile on somebody? So? How can I make people feel more than rather than less than? Because they cross my path?
And if you switch your focus there and just play the game of raising the significance of others, not to score points, but because it feels good, you will start letting go of your own insecurities. You won't need validation and low and behold. People will actually start treating you as some sort of person that validates your own internal insecurities as no longer being there. Why because you now have something that they want, So rather than going hunting
for significance, you get it by osmosis. So when I made the switch, I got on stage and this was like magic. Instead of caring about what was on the feedback form, my intention was, I don't care if these people know my name. I don't care if they'd like me. I'm here to add value. I'm here to serve. And if that means some of them need to hear something they don't like because it brushes up against their ego, but it's what they need to hear from my perspective
of adding value. And I think it's true in my heart, I would fucking say it. Yeah, all right. And if that means some people give me a one, it's they're on their journey. Yeah right. And I learned a powerful lesson. And there's a speaker I'll share this with you, Craig and any other speaker's listening. It's from a guy called Doug Stephenson who I learned this from twenty years ago when I lived in Canada, in Vancouver, Beautiful Soul. And he told me what I call the rule of fifty.
And he says, people usually have to hear something at epiphany level that has the epiphany potential fifty times before it hits fifty times before it's sink, right, he says, So when I go on stage, he said, everybody is at a certain number. Some are at six, some are at thirty, some are at twenty seven, some are at forty three. My job is to go out and move everybody up one, it says, And some are going to say I don't mean anything. Why because you move them
from six to seven. But some few people in that audience are at forty nine and you get to touch them in that level of epiphany. Not because you're smart, because you're great, or it's got anything to do with you, but because you were blessed enough to ride on the
shoulders of the forty nine people that went before you. Yeah, and when you hold that as an intention, you go out, tell me where goop exists in that Tell me where I need to validate myself off a feedback form for their No, you're doing God's work at a level where your job is to raise everybody by one, and hopefully so some seeds that a generation downstream, somebody else gets to go on stage and touch somebody's life because you move them from six to seven and they're now at
forty nine and they get to hit the fifty.
Yeah, I love that. I want to tell you a quick story and then if you've had a similar experience, So one of my mates probably maybe nearly twenty years ago, Peter was raving about we used to train together, and he was raving about this book called The Power of Now in this bloke called air Cart totally right, and I'm like, fuck, eh Cart, totally fuck the Power Now. And he's like, you've got to read Yeah, You've got to read this book. I'm like, yeah, I got like
I had a shit attitude, by the way. By the way, I went to see Tony Robbins to shit Attitude and I loved him. Right, So I get The Power of Now and I read it. I read about but grudgingly with the worst attitude in the world. I read twenty pages and I'm like, my thoughts are I'm going to say, my thoughts are maybe ten right, my thoughts are confirmed.
This is shit. This is shit. Anyway about oh, probably a decade later, so maybe ten years ago, I just I don't know, I was cleaning up some shit or something and I went, oh, this is that book that Matt gave me that. I'm like, maybe it was fifteen maybe it was five years later, So fifteen years ago, because I feel like I've been a bit more enlightened for longer. But anyway, I read it, and obviously I'm like, oh, this is fucking this is genius. How long has this
been going on? Houses? What do you mean I'm the observer of my thoughts? What do you mean I'm the you know, the conduit to that that is, you know, And I'm like, oh my god. But it's so funny that, you know, when the student's already kind of vibe and I read the exact same thing, and it was like I'd never seen it before. It was like somebody pulled back a curtain on this fucking magical gift. But I'd seen the same thing, and I thought, oh, it's funny
how much that's changed over the years, you know. And obviously nothing had changed except me. But have you ever had an experience like that where where all of a sudden, something that you didn't get you is prof found.
Yeah, one specific book, but I'll give you a metaphor to try to encapsulate it with as well. Yeah. See, I mentioned earlier that biological maturity isn't the choice, it's part of the rule set, but emotional maturity is. And we're all progressing at different levels of emotional maturity. There's a lot of pretty old I can I say, oh, let's say old bodies running around as emotional teenagers. I think we've met some of those and been them at
some point. But imagine that the levels of consciousness are kind of like a mountain. The top of the mountain, you've got your enlightenment. Yah, bottom of the mound, you've got your victimhood. And if you're halfway up the mountain and you turn around to somebody and say, wow, look at the sunset and they're at the bottom of that, or they're in a valley and all they can see is trees, they're going to think you're follow shit. There is no sunset, you idiot. I can't see it because
therefore it doesn't exist in my world. You say no, but you don't get it. There's the sun. Come have a lot. Now, I don't get it. What is this pain body thing? Right? What is this like? You know, being this? What is this sense of rigging? Observe? I am the witness to my own Yeah whatever, I'm busy being busy, right, And only when somebody is at the level of the mountain that they are open enough to
receive the view from where they're at. There's nothing wrong with people in the valley struggling, say, what's all this personal growth bullshit? It's you can only be open to receive the information based upon the level of the mountain you're at. It's it's it's it's obvious. Yeah, and when if you go back to the biblical teachings, if Jesus is teaching something from his level of consciousness, it can only be interpreted from lower levels of consciousness. If he
says turn the other cheek. If you're in victim, you're going to see that as being able to be dominated. If you're in warrior mode or achiever mode, you're going to see that as acquiescing to the enemy and you're going to resist. If you're enlightened, you're going to see that as a strength beyond a strength because you can't be pushed, pauled, controlled, cajoled by external forces. It doesn't affect you. Turn the other cheek. Is that all you got?
It's like, I'm not playing the game, I'm not engaging in the battle with you, right, So yeah, there is that. And it happened to me with one book which has probably been more responsible for changing my life, similar to Power of you know now, impact your Jaws and that is Power Versus Forced by David Hawkins. And I had an amazing friend gentleman called David Becker, not David Beckham, but David Becker.
And who's just who's the author again?
Mite? Sorry, David Hawkins, the late greats Okay, Power Versus Force. I read that book because David gave it to me. David is an amazing, beautiful, enlightened soul. He inspired me to run the marathon they sab twenty years ago. It's just a one of these enlightened and beautiful men. And he said that this book had helped change his life. So I wanted to read it. But twenty odd years ago I was still pretty much buy me mode, and I read it. The first third of the book is
a little heavy. It's kind of chaos theory, quantum mechanics, nonlinear dynamics, kinesilgi bit right. It was like you with pain, body being this witness, consciousness whatever. Right, couldn't get through it too tough. Ten years later, it's actually probably twenty five years ago. So fifteen years ago I picked it up and read it changed my life, made all of the pieces fit into place of understanding other people understanding
why the World's where it's at. It absolutely blew me away of how genius and poetic the model was and how much it closed the loop on so many questions I had. So yeah, power Versus Force and it was part of a trilogy. There was two others, which are if if you're not at certain levels of the mountain, you're just going to want to color it in.
Right, Yeah, a little heavy, but but yeah, Power versus Force is definitely my power of now in your story.
Yeah, I'm loving it. I'm looking at it right now. So power versus Force. Everyone the hidden determinants of human behavior.
David, game change are great questions.
Just order it.
I'm going to Yeah, no, I'm going to get it. I'm going to buy it when we get off this when we get off this call. All right, So a couple of things. What do we got We've got maybe ten minutes if that's you still got ten minutes.
Mate, I'm with you.
When you're a kid, what did you think you were going to be when you were ten, twelve, fourteen?
What did you think you were.
Going to be or did you just did you did not think like that? I don't know what career did you think you were going to have profound experience.
At ten years old, I was in the playground and there was a series on television called The Paras by Frank Hilton that followed for a Oplatoon on their journey from recruits to the Falklands. And I was in the playground and we're talking. We'd watch it, our parents had it on that night whatever, and a couple of us are talking about it. And there's a guy never seen him since I was ten, probably doesn't even know what impact he had, but he mentioned something that changed my life.
He said, Yeah, he said, my life ambition is to wear the red beret. Wow. Now what blew me away out of that statement was I'd never heard the term life ambition. That sounded hot. I was too young to use the word sexy, but that sounded like captivating a life ambition. Something spoke to me, and by the way I talk the same one. At ten years old, I wanted to be a para. I want to be a part of the parachute regiment. So at twelve years old, I lied about my age and joined the Army Cadets.
Should have been thirteen. I progressed rapidly through there to a seventeen years old, being the company Saint Major for the battalion, number one cadet in the UK, attached to a Lord of tenants cadets the Queen, like number one marksmen in the county. Blah blah blah, seven national awards. I was a soldier. It was absolutely crystal clear. My destiny was going to be Parachute Regiment and then Essays Special Forces. That was all I cared about. I got
home from school, I didn't do homework. I put a rucksack on my back full of bricks and I went running. I saw fitness being one of the big problems. Life had other areas. My father was an entrepreneur, He owned his own job, kind of owned business. My mom was always entrepreneurial. I always wanted to be a businessman as well, but soldiering took over. I became the youngest instructor in the history of the British Army Cadet Force at fourteen.
All that stuff. Seventeen years old, I applied join the Army. They offer me any job in the Army I want. I passed the exam. I said, I want to be a parrot. They're like, nah, get a trade it's better for you. The business side of me kicked in, says, okay, I went parrot engineer. I thought it's highest paid job. So two days before I'm due to go in the army, I'm out on with the lads. My last night in
SIV Street, I was also a parrotechnics expert. I took a homemade little pyrotechnic device to lead off in a parking lot at midnight, just to see myself off go bye with the lads. Combustion fusee reacts with the oxygen burst into flames. That kind of thing I'm wearing, ironically, a bomber jacket. The fuse goes off in my pocket in the bar eleven o'clock at night. Smoke's pouring out of my jacket. Next minute, boom, this thing goes off, sets fire, and my jacket blows two glasses off the bar,
flash burned down my face. Bounce has thrown me out. Call the cops, call the bomb squad. Anyway, let's just say my military career didn't get off to a any kind of start. Told me to keep my nose clean for twelve months and reapply. By that time, I wanted to be a businessman. I started my first business at seventeen, became an entrepreneur, never looked back. Wow. Yeah, because here's what I will say. Great, one thing that that track gave me at twelve years old to seventeen, what did
it teach me? Discipline, how to get up in the morning, how to value health and fitness, how to be self motivated, all of the qualities that were lining up to become an entrepreneur for life, as well as how to teach,
which is kind of what I'm doing now. So yeah, I see it as a divine intervention from the universe there to stop me running off killing people for being a political porn on a chess game I don't want to play, to actually trying to add value and serve the world with insights from the path that I've bought.
All Right, my last question is really I love that there's so much stuff. We could do a three hour podcast. Obviously we can't, but we're going to get you back because I have a name in spoken. I don't want to I don't even want to say the things I haven't spoken about because I don't want to bring them up yet. But maybe an other time. But let's finish with you talking to us for a minute or three about happiness. I don't care where you go with this,
but I'm just interested in your take on it. Obviously, everybody nobody wants to be less happy. Nobody wants to be sad, miserable, depressed, or anxious. It's pretty much the universal goal, or one of them. Talk to us about that human condition, if you would.
Happy to I just got back from three days with Dr Jo Despenser and Barcelona, and he actually shared something from stage when he was being interviewed. That's the same question. So he says, what's the secret to being happy? And he looked in the interviewer's eyes and he said, stop
being unhappy. Now that sounds a little simplistic, but I have a slightly different take on that I've been teaching for a long time, and that is, if you really want to be happy, you've got to understand what happiness is. Happiness is a short term emotion, and as human beings were designed to feel a range of emotions. I don't want to be happy at my mother's funeral, right, but I was complete. There's no unfinished conversation. She was out of pain. It was like there was a there was
a different sense. There wasn't unhappy, yes, but it wasn't like you know, tragic, wasn't like victimhood. So there's a difference between understanding happiness, as I said, unfulfillment or joy. Joy is a different state. But if you want to understand happiness, then understand what it is what causes happiness. It's pretty damn simple. Happiness is a byproduct or a consequence of thinking happy thoughts. Case closed. Anger is a
byproduct or consequence of thinking angry thoughts. Case closed. Every thought produces a chemical neuropeptide hormone that impacts the biochemistry and the bloodstream that then is felt as what we call an emotion. But the starting point, the trigger point, is the thought. So, okay, if you don't want to be you know, miserable, you want to be unhappy, Stop thinking miserable thoughts. You want to be depressed, Stop thing depressing thought sounds too simple. You want to be happy,
Start thinking happier thoughts. Now that's the surface answer. How do you make it real? You start understanding what your rules for happiness are. And now we get into some meat and potatoes. Because so many people are walking around with rules around what has to happen in order to make them happy that they can't control. And that is
almost like a combination to an uncrackable safe. If everybody likes me, if the weather's breaking great, If my boss doesn't do this, if this, this, this, this, and this happened, and the moon's in frecking Pluto and mercury is not in retrograde, then I'll be happy, right, and you walking around miserable wondering why life sucks. No. Right, I'll give you an analogy for health, because something you'd relate to. You know, I used to want to hold chain of
health clubs. You've owned health clubs, et cetera. Right, So what are people's rules for health? Somebody can have a rule that says in order to feel healthy and they value health. I'm not saying you don't value happiness. I'm saying you don't value health. Health is one of your top values. So you want to be healthy, but your rules for health say that in order for me to give myself permission to feel healthy, notice the subconscious language frame.
Then I have to have ten percent or less body fat. I have to eat organic food. I have to train four times a week. So what does that mean the gym closes for a refit or a bank holiday. You can only train three times and now you don't feel healthy? Bullshit, You just set yourself up to fail. You have somebody else who values health, But their rules are I feel healthy when I get out of bed in the morning, put two feet on the ground, stretch, drink a glass
of filded water, and smile and be grateful. Now is it all of that inside their control? A bank holiday ain't going to change that, right? A measurement on a fat caliber caliber ain't going to change that. So what are your rules for health determine how you feel healthy? Yes? What your rules for happiness determine how you feel happiness? I feel happy because I get to be alive at a time in human history my ancestors have dreamed about.
If you can't think of twenty things to be grateful for right now, you ain't looking hard enough.
Yeah, yeah, two.
Games in life you want to play? Or finish with this? If I said to your audience, Craig, I've got a check for one hundred thousand dollars, and I will give that to anyone who can make a list of ten things that suck about their life. I've got a lot of people winning that game. But if I say change your rules, I've got one hundred thousand dollars. And in order for you to get that check, you've got to write a list of ten things you are sincerely or can be grateful for in your life. I've got news
for you. Everybody's going to win that game. Why, because they're going to look hard enough.
Yes, yes, right.
The question isn't can I be happy? I'm not happy? Do you want to be happy? The question is what game do you want to play?
Yes?
Because what's wrong is always available. Unhappiness is always available. Turn on the news. We'll give you all the reasons. Right, It's all the same news just keeps happening to different people. Have they figured that out yet? Turn off the damn news and start starring in your own movie rather than being recruited as an unpaid film extra in some big budget disaster bullshit. That's making you feel unhappy. You start with that, and it's going to get easier.
Mate, you killed that. I had to say that, I had to critique you, but fuck you killed that. I loved that. That is so good, so true, so inspiring, so understandable. How do people connect with you, find you, follow you, and get a little bit of Paya Sage in their life?
Sure, Instagram is always a good way. I put a lot of stuff out there to try to help people the real peters Age. You'll see me on there obviously, my website Petersage dot com, a YouTube channel. I'm putting a lot of stuff out of I'm on social come and follow me. I'm spending a lot of my time right now helping coaches, trainers, healers and therapists get more financially profitable because it's such a shame my background's business.
I've made tens of millions of dollars, lost millions of dollars. I know the game in businesses, it's all I am. But when you see coaches, trained therapists that have the skill set to want to serve and heal or contribute, but they haven't got a clue how to turn that into a six figure lifestyle, it saddens my heart. So let me fix the business side for you so you can go out and help humanity. That's where I'm at right now. So if that resonates, come follow my work.
Awesome, mate, we'll say goodbye off here in a moment, but officially for the moment. Thanks for being on the You project. I really appreciate your time.
Craig, a real pleasure. What you're doing is amazing work in the world. My friend. I'm so glad you picked that book back up all those years ago and just ignited that spark as to who you really are. You're a gift to the WORLDFARE appreciate you.