#1523 8 (More) Ideas That Changed My Life - Harps

I get it wrong a lot. I don't get it wrong all the time, but I sometimes I think, you know, people are sick of hearing me bang on, and some people are and I don't blame them. But the numbers for the episode that I did the other day were about twenty thirty percent higher than the average numbers of late I'm like, okay, well, I did have a second part to that, and when I get through the interviews that I've got coming up, I'll do that. So here we are today. So this is part two. This is

installment too. If you don't like the solo stuff, if you don't like the workshop be me coaching you stuff, the kind of personal development stuff, the specific kind of that stuff, feel free to tune out and come back tomorrow. So I will say though, that today is slightly different. I mean, I've added a couple of things in here

that are really Craig specific, and I don't know. I'm sure they will resonate with a percentage of you, but I don't know that a couple of these will resonate with as many people as some of the more generic you know, do better, think better, I'm going to have a crack, get uncomfortable, be or you can be give us a high five that stuff. Right. So, But in the interest of being authentic and real and sharing with you things that eight ideas that literally did change my life.

Not necessarily things that I've tried to weave into coaching others in relation to their life goals, dreams, aspirations, transformation.

new slant on an old thing. But you know when you think that the stoics and the philosophers and the theologians were cranking out essentially self help, call it what you will, but it's personal development, self help philosophy, very very old school psychology, how to live advice, let's call it that thousands of years ago. I think that sometimes people in this self help in the personal growth space

take too much credit for shit they didn't invent. So let me be upfront and say that I'm just sharing things that I believe are just insight, an age old wisdom, and quite often just common sense, that if embraced and used and followed, can don't always but can lead to positive shift on planet US. So the first idea, without further delay, the first idea is just the idea of investing my energy in the things I can control, influence change,

and do something about. I personally spent a lot of time in my early days worrying and wondering and obsessing and ruminating, focusing on wasting physical, mental, and emotional energy on things that will be on my control. And for a lot of you that may be the case, maybe not all the time, maybe some of the time. But I think it's very common part of the human experience to obsess about things that we can't do anything about.

And that's not to say that that's a character flaw, but I think we can all acknowledge that investing time and energy in things that we can't control is not

a great use of our cognitive or emotional resources. And so, for example, I can't change my genetics, So me being jealous of somebody with great genetics, or grumpy my parents for what they did or didn't give me, or obsessing about the morbidly obese child that I was, or thinking if only I had have done this, and if only I had done all Maybe understandable, I guess, but at the same time, complete waste of time, not a good

return on investment. And so the better question would be, rather than how come I got these genetics, how come he or she hardly works out and they look amazing, A better question, or a better investment of energy in reference to this particular issue I'm talking about, would be all right, well, with my genetics, with my resources, with my knowledge, with my time, with what I have available to me, What should I be focusing on today? What's the best use of my energy today considering what I

want to do be create and change. So recognizing what we waste energy on. What was the name of that university? There was a university is in the States. I forget it. I might post it later, but anyway, They did a study a couple of years ago. Paul Taylor and I spoke about this, But ninety one percent of the things that people worry about stress about future things. I'm talking

about future hypothetical problems. Of all of the things that people invest energy in that the bad things that might happen in the future, ninety one percent of those things never happen. Ninety one percent don't happen, and with the nine percent that do, in most cases it's not as bad as anticipated. But also think about the fact that it doesn't matter how much you worry about something before

it happens. All you're doing in the moment. Like if I'm worried about something, so as I record this, it's Tuesday night, by twenty one Tuesday afternoon. If I'm worried about something right now that might happen next Tuesday, it may or may not. But let's say I'm worried about that. What that means is in this moment five point twenty one on Tuesday, the fourteenth of the fifth, twenty twenty four. My energy, my focus, my attention is not now in

the moment with you sharing these thoughts ideas. If I was hypothetically worried, stressed, obsessing about, ruminating on the thing that could happen in a week that may or may not be in my control, definitely what I'm doing right now is wasting my potential right now, I'm wasting my energy. Right now, I'm probably putting myself into a state of anxiety and overthinking and rumination, which doesn't help me. So idea number one is invest your energy and the things

that you can control. Number two is Number two is the idea that, and this is a really my mum used to tell me things will work themselves out. And I love my mum and God bless her little socks. But the idea that, depending on what it is, of course, that things work themselves out. Things that things that in your life are a problem or an issue or a behavior or some kind of some kind of hurdle or barrier in your life, more than likely it's not going to work itself out. When we say that thing will

work itself out. It's almost like we're inferring that it has an awareness, it has a consciousness, and it will figure out a way to resolve itself, and you or I will be the beneficiary of that thing working itself out. Guess what, maybe in some parallel universe that happens all the time, but on planet you and me, it doesn't happen on planet you and me. The problems, the issues. I'm talking about real problems, real issues, and I'm not

talking about obsessing or ruminating. I'm talking about the fact that if there is a problem or an issue, more than likely you and I need to acknowledge it, make a decision about it, think about it, strategize about it,

and then do something about it. The problems that I've had, whether they were health problems, whether they were communication problem, financial problems, business problems, research problems in my study, lifestyle problems, all of the problems that we have, all of the like sitting back on my metaphoric hands and thinking, I'm not going to do anything because things always work themselves out. While that is perhaps a comforting thought, it is a

fucking ridiculous strategy for the most part. If you want things to get better, you are the person that will make them better. If you want problems to be solved, guess what, you're the problem solver. You are the answer to most of your problems. Doesn't mean you can't use other people or other resources. It doesn't mean that there aren't other variables that are out of your control. But the idea that things will work themselves out is a dumb one. The idea that you will work those things

out is a much better idea. Number three is and I love this. This was a real revelation to me, and I think it's a revelation to many people. And this is the ideal, the idea that there's no best in inverted Comma's program. There's no best, single approach or strategy for dealing with the same problem or similar problem or issue across the board. So what will work for me? For example, I want to fix my back pain, improve my flexibility in my range of movement through my hips,

and lose a few pounds, and so do you. Therefore, you and I should do the exact same program program because we have the exact same goal. Well no, no, because you don't have my body, because you're probably not six to you probably don't have the injuries I've had

and the disc issues that I have. You certainly don't have my genetics, certainly don't have my shit range of movement, probably most of you, and so on, and so the idea that there is when we're talking about how to create an outcome, whether or not that's to build a business, to get through an academic process, whether or not that's to lose weight, whether or not that's to have a an effective conversation with a person, whether or not that's

to build a brand online, to resolve conflict, whatever it is, whatever the thing is that we want to achieve, there is no three step plan or no single method that will universally work. And so the question is not what is the best way to get fit, but what is the best way for me to get fit? What is the best program for so on Planet Craig, the best questions for me regarding me is what is the job that will or what is the career path or what are the choices regarding my career and my business and

my income and my future self? What are the best decisions or what is the best path for me? What is the best protocol for me? Craig Harper regarding sleep and food and lifestyle and exercise and strength and flexibility and aerobic fitness. What's the best idea for me in terms of all the best protocol for me in terms of building connection and rapport. What's the best protocol for me in terms of delivering a speech or a workshop

or a seminar. Because the way that I would successfully run a workshop or seminar, some people couldn't do not because I'm better or worse, but because they're not me. And I look at other people who get on stage and do what they do and they're fucking amazing and they kill it. But I couldn't do it because I'm not them, and I don't have their personality. I don't have whatever it is that they have. I don't have that.

So the idea that there is a best way to universally create an outcome or do something, and that best way will work for everybody dumb idea. The better idea is the awakened idea is what is the best way to feel in the blank for me? What is the best way to feel in the blank for you? So number four is the idea that the past and future can only exist in my mind. Think about that the past and future can only exist in my mind. Think about exist being a verb. Exists being a present tense verb.

So the past can't exist because exist happens in the now. It's a present tense doing. It's a verb. The future can't exist in the now. I can think about what we call the past in the now, I can think about or try to conceive, what the future, what we call the future, might look like. But really, last Wednesday, the thing that we call the past was just a previous installment of the present moment. You have never lived lived being a present tense verb. You have never lived

in the past. What we refer to as the past was at that point on your evolutionary timeline. That was just another now moment. That was just another moment in the present. When next Wednesday comes, that won't be the future. When next Wednesday arrives, you will still be in the present,

not this present that I am speaking. Think about this right right now as I record this, it's five to third on Tuesday, the fourteenth of May, and I am speaking this into the in my version of the present and right now at a different point in time, you are listening to it right now as you hear these words in your version of the present, But your version of right now, as you hear these words to me at this moment, as I say them, is my future ah,

the future being just another installment of now. When next Wednesday comes, when next month, when next year comes, you're not going to be in the future. You're going to be present tense. You're going to be in the now. And so I know this can be a bit of a mind fuck. And why do I share it?

probably won't happen in the future. And things that happened in the what we call the past that we can't change now. For those who have experienced trauma in the past, of course, there's empathy, there's love, there's care, of course, and we're not trying to devalue what happened or pretend what happened did not happened. We're not doing that at all. We've all had to varying degrees, bad shit happen. I've had one of my best friends in the world die in front of me, literally in front of me, was

dead for seventeen minutes. Fortunately we got him back. But that moment in time that happened in the present, does that come to that image, that image of my friend on the ground, dead in front of me and me giving him CPR, me working on him, trying to get him undead. Does that visit my mind in the present. Yes, But the only way that I can keep fueling that is if I keep thinking about it and going back

there was it traumatic? Yes, it was, And of course trauma and therapy and recoveries from such events is a much big conversation than this one. And full respect and love and care to everyone who struggles with things from the past, but I think it's a really good idea, just to think, oh, yeah, that stuff doesn't live in the now. The future doesn't live in the now. And

the next one is kind of intersex with that. And I didn't realize how much these overlap because I haven't said all this out loud, But the next one is, so I'll go through it quickly. The idea that I create my own reality, the idea that I create my own reality, that I create my experiences. That you and I might be sitting in a cafe having a coffee and talking, and we are in the same moment in time, at the same cafe, at the same table, in the same conversation, but we are not in the same reality.

You're in your reality, You're self created reality. I'm in my self created reality, and my self created reality and your self created reality is essentially a byproduct of your mind and emotions interpreting an internal inter interpretation of a

fucking pluthora a mountain of inbound external stimuli. You and I are always processing the world around a situation, circumstance, environment, people, events, and we are interpreting, and we are telling ourself stories, and we are creating our own in the moment reality,

which is why brothers and sisters. Right now, there are people listening to this the exact same words from the exact same person, with the exact same intent, and some people are thinking this is bullshit, or I've heard this four or this is boring, or somebody might be saying this is fascinating, this is helpful, this is insightful, and for all of those individual interpretations, for those people, that is real, that is real. Is it boring vrjohnities, Is

it enlightening for Sally? It might be? Is it interesting for someone else?

got three to go. My next idea is the idea

that mediocrity could be a gift. And as the kid who grew up at mediocre Central five mediocre Street, mediocre Central, realizing that perhaps because I wasn't super smart, super gifted, super talented, super anything, realizing that, well, if I want to be exceptional, or perhaps create exceptional outcomes, I need I need to work harder than my more talented friends, than my more gifted friends, than my more creative, more intellectual, more academic friends if I want to succeed or at

least do as well as them, or maybe be a success story in some way, shape or form. And so for me personally, I kind of think, and this is just again, this is just me, right, I kind of think if I was super gifted, if I was super talented, super intelligent, I probably would have been lazy, because I reckon, if I had all of that stuff going for me, I wouldn't have had to work hard to succeed. But

I didn't. I didn't have that. And so for me to get in shape, for me to get fit, for me to get strong, for me to create the body that I wanted to live in, was not easy. It was not fun, It was not quick, it was not painless, it was fucking grind. But in the middle of that determination, and focus and work I had became a better version of me. I built resilience and understanding and awareness, and

so out of the mediocrity came this drive. Out of the mediocrity came this level of motivation, and out of the drive and the motivation came these skills and this ability to adapt and survive and thrive and ask good questions and use more of what I had. So maybe my default talent was a five out of ten, but maybe I used most of it, or maybe I use more of it. Maybe I developed skills and understanding and

awareness beyond my default setting. And so the idea that being gifted is a gift, maybe maybe it's an advantage, but maybe being super gifted, depending on how your life unfolds, can actually be a handicap because for some people, and I would never mention a name, but I know many people who just growing up, I wasn't.

surface of their potential. My second last one, which I've spoken about a bit, so I won't bang on about it, But it's just the idea that I don't need a job, or that I didn't have to necessarily go down the typical route, the typical route of clocking in and clocking out and working nine to five or the equivalent a version of nine to five, or going somewhere and sitting in a cubicle, or sitting in an office, or going and doing meetings, or I didn't need.

was super sexy to me, super fucking appealing. To figure out what I don't want and then to create the thing that I do want to be able to build this convergence of something that would make money and be a career along with something that I fucking loved to do, to coach people, to communicate, to create, to develop, to be a lifelong learner. So the idea that I didn't need that, I guess for me, it was more like

a lightbulb. It was like a fucking epiphany where I went, oh, I don't have to because for a long time, wealth through my childhood and teens, I just thought I have to go and get a job, and then I will have because I grew up in the seventies and eighties and I started working the eighties, and back then, you know, there was fucking twenty jobs in the world. Now there's twenty million jobs, you know, And of course there was

more than twenty, but fucking not that much more. And so you pick one and then you do that and then hopefully you get a good boss and good pay and good conditions. You have your four weeks holiday year, and you get sick pay, and you get this and that and then sixty five and you pull the pin and you go, fuck now play gol, fuck that fuckl the fuck fuck stick that up your as the idea that I didn't need to do that, and then having

the courage. I only say courage because I was fucking terrified having the courage to then go and build that. I'm so glad that I had that realization at an early age. And my last one is deeply personal and weird, and I'm reluctant to say it, but I'm just going to say, for me, the idea that not being married

is okay. Oh my god, that was a relief. I'm like, oh, because for a very long time I felt broken, I felt like embarrassed that I felt not good enough, I felt dysfunctional that oh, everyone's married, I'm not married, and I don't want to go into the wives and all of that. But it wasn't a plan, Like, there was no I never went, you know what, I hate marriage. Everyone's miserable. I'm not doing I never It just kind of worked out that way, and it wasn't a yeah,

it wasn't a strategy. It just kind of worked out that way. And I am the first to say that I'm not against marriage, and I don't think marriage is bad. Of course, my mum and dad had been married for two hundred years. My training partner's been married to the one awesome lady for a long time, best mate. Vin's been married to the best fucking wife in the world, Tanya for a long time. So I'm not anti marriage.

I don't think marriage is bad. I personally think being in a dysfunctional, unhealthy, toxic relationship, be that a friendship, be that a marriage, be that a de facto relationship or whatever, that's bad. And I see that, I see that toxic, unhealthy, dysfunctional kind of thing happening both in marriage and out of marriage. I'm I'm not a fan of that, but I'm definitely not anti marriage. But for me, the idea that I can, I can. I can navigate life as a single person, and I'm not well that.

I was going to say, I'm not weird, but that's debatable, probably a bit weird, But you know, in fact, I can be unmarried and fulfilled and happy and creative and have awesome relationships and friendships, and I can have my psychological, emotional, sociological needs met without necessarily being with the same person for twenty thirty forty fifty years. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't have to do that, So please don't misinterpret what I'm saying I am not saying that marriage

is bad. I'm not saying I'm against marriage at all. I'm saying that for me, the recognition and the awareness that I'm not married and it's okay, it's okay, albeit somewhat frowned upon and questioned and criticized like anauseum, essentially the question being really more than a thousand times in my life I've had someone essentially say what's wrong with you? And it's kind of nasty, right, But for me, the awareness that the idea that being unmarried is not only

is it okay some people it's the right thing. Maybe for some people it's the best thing. Right. There we go, Groovers. Eight more ideas, do with them what you will, or don't love your guts. Thanks for tuning in as always,