you Don't do that. Don't do that. It looked so cool. Wait, it looked so cool. I like how you said, I won't, I won't, and you just did. That's so cool. It's so cool. Don't give him that. Wait, no, it was awesome looking. It wasn't stupid. He was pointing the bottle down. Smoking it out of the bottle. Dude. What? Welcome back to the art episode 99. Squeaks can do this party trick, which I need to learn.
Okay. He goes like this. He goes. And then goes out of his mouth. I can do it. No, you're lying. I can do it. You're lying. We need the lights off. What? We need the lights off. You can't see it unless the lights are off. We just close our eyes, maybe.
No, that wouldn't work. That would be your lights are off. You can just see the smoke. We can see smoke right now. No, no. There you go. Thank you. All right. Give me a sec. Let me charge it up. You guys do the podcast. Okay. Are you whipping out a vape? No. I don't own a vape.
I'll just podcast. All right, guys, we're in the dark. Crazy news. Okay, you know how to podcast. We're in the dark right now while Nick figures out how to get smoke out of his mouth. Aiden is so eepy. It's the funniest shit. All right, get ready. Get ready. get ready yard listeners we are about to see nick blow smoke wait whoa what he did it lights back on zipper i don't understand wait now i will say squeeze it in full bright okay and he sounded like it looks better with the lights off
What is the jury you all right so you you like basically like smack your tongue on the roof of your mouth And you you do it over and over again. You're creating water vapor What and then eventually then you just open your mouth, and it all comes out like it's like
vapor from your saliva. This makes no sense to me. You don't blow, though. You just kind of open your mouth. Alright. Here we go, Ludwig. I'm watching very closely. This is why we fucking upload in 4K. You gotta do it for a little bit longer. Go until you don't really have breath left.
And then right before you open your mouth a little bit, put your mouth like this and just blow your cheeks out. Dude, the stands are going to do something so gross. And I open the mouth slowly. Wait. Did you see any? I saw a tiny bit. Yeah. Now you can do it. You're like out of breath. This is the worst audio segment of all time. I realize I'm out of shape today. I realize I'm out of shape playing basketball today. You're out of shape? I'm so out of shape.
Tell him, go. Tell me about it. You do great. Sleepy boy thinks you're a fucking chopster. Wait, you did great. You did great. Don't patronize me. Don't patronize me. I thought you were great. Stop. Stop. I love when he says it, bro. Stop patronizing me, okay? Did you throw a fucking two points or what? I feel like I'm saying it normal and we're applying a cynical lens. Say it again, then. Say it again. Say it normal.
you have to convince him like if you don't convince him the world ends this is an acting well it's not acting if it's true look me in the eyes when you say it I thought you did great
Okay, that was pretty good. That was so convincing. Can Aiden lie? Because he's kind of pissed about it. He's kind of like questioning. Have you cheated on your girlfriend? I'm learning Aiden can lie. I thought he couldn't do it. Yeah, me neither. You definitely cheat on your girlfriend, huh? That is, yeah. Definitely. Definitely. The way you lie, that-
That is as much practice as Nick did blowing smoke. Yeah, watch me try to lie. I think he did great. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't cheat on my girlfriend either. Why would you even want to? He could never cheat. Why is that something you'd have to lie about? Never cheat. I was out of shape, man. It was tough. What happened? Was it pathetic? Did you fall? Did everyone laugh? You know when you run and your teeth start to chatter and your blood fills your mouth and you start throwing up?
Like legitimate blood fills your mouth and every orifice in it. And it tastes like spoons. I know the spoons. Thank you. I was like that all freaking game. And I played one game and I was like, dude. And I had a moment when I was driving. Because I drive the Miata and it's really, I don't know if you've driven with me in it, but it's really bumpy. Don't get a lot of shocks. Yeah.
And suspension. We ought to get a new car. Is that by chance connected to the two car shocks we found in the warehouse? Unrelated, unrelated. Wait, you found just random shocks? Yeah, just like two car shocks that nobody will climb. I don't know. What are those from? Just rendered 3D rotating as you pick them up. I don't remember why we got those, but I remember the red ones. Yeah, we do have those. I see my car, I'm just like, I don't need them.
So I'm driving and as I'm driving to basketball, I felt my tummy shake. Oh my god, I'll never forget the first time I felt my titties shake going down a staircase in life Like you know when I was when I was like a high school. I was like underweight like I was very skinny Yeah, you know, I hit my 20s I started getting weight for the first time the first time ever like quickly went down a stair set
I felt my boobs go up and down. I'd never felt it before. It's a heft. I had a whole day about it. Really? I was like, it's over. That's so funny. It's over. It's so beatable, a situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All I had to do was right there, just start slightly adjusting my diet and working out. I didn't do it at all.
But I felt the pain for years. Yeah, the cells in your breasts are bouncing. Bouncing like damn. I just kept playing Super Smash Brothers, but I didn't do anything. And your breasts got larger and larger. They don't still bounce. Did it bounce? A little, but I think the normal amount. Everyone's breasts bounce a little. Everyone's breasts bounce.
Oh my god. You have bouncy breasts. Because it bounces different. It bounces different. Because my breasts bounce different. When you have muscle in an area versus flub. It bounces different. I think I have. Well, I think also the gravity of yours is different too with the hole in the center. They have like a thing. Yeah, it goes in and claps. His shit looked like Ariana Grande on the red carpet. You're like, damn, he should eat more. And he does eat.
But it still looks weird. I do. It still looks weird. So you're heaving and throwing up on the floor. I'm heaving and throwing, and I need to make a life change. And you shit your pants. I've decided I'm going to make a life change. It's called Run to Work Mondays. Run to Work Mondays? You're not going to run to work.
Yes, I am. It's Run to Work Mondays. Run to Work Mondays. Run here. Okay, so what time are we doing? What time are we recording tomorrow? Tomorrow's Monday. Tomorrow's Monday. So what time are we recording? It's our first run to work Monday. Well, I'm not running to work Monday. I'd have to wake up at 6 a.m. Yeah. Cool. I don't know. The thing is, I have to time it out.
We'll find out. Wake up at 4. You get first breakfast with Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, me and Marky Mark. Me and Marky Mark are going to get first lifting. You take your first 30-minute nap of the day. You wake back up at 5. I'm sorry, I doubted you, champ. We'll leak the amount, but we have to bleep it. What?
Okay. Jesus fucking Bryce. Archie, that's for you. And I need his whole mouth blurred. Then the device whenever you're ready. You feel good? You feel big doing that? Honestly, just knowing a British...
person has your address makes me a little scared. It's bad. It doesn't make me scared. It makes you feel empowered myself. I blend in with them now, so they're on my side. Oh. Dude, I got into a fake argument with Ludwig when Avin was EP, and I said, you look like a fucking British dude, and the whole room just fucking died. and then he shut up. I won. Dude, this has been happening all day. I had like this GeoGuessr event and then Sykuno's taking pop shots.
He should chill the fuck out. I'm like I'm like the winner of this gets a really nice globe He's like oh you're giving us your head Dude, it's his first time cussing in the backyard. He's never done this before. But it's admirable. Everyone's freaking laughing in the call. I can't get him to calm down. I'm losing it. He's at lunch with the chocolate milk and he's like, hey guys.
Crap. He's just giggling. That's what you think. Huggies is going to drop you. That's what you think. I don't give up. I don't give up. Crap. He more of a freak than you'll ever be. Damn, really? Well, that's what my original argument was and I got crucified for it. You talk gross and crass? He walks gross and crass. What does that mean? I'm saying he eats it front, back, however you want. Like Mark S? I'm saying he eats it like Mark S.
How many times? When's the last time Cycuno raw cream pieed somebody? Jesus Christ. He's telling me that he lives a crash life. And what's more crash than cream pie? I mean, yeah. I do want to know. Right? You want to know. I wouldn't say it. I wouldn't have said it. But I can be the mouthpiece for you. Now that it's out, I am curious. I was telling you this this week. Oh, Jesus. It's not even a good impression. It's not even good. It's just Elmo. It's like Elmo or Mickey.
Stay on your back Apology you don't apologize for if he sees it you get caught you apologize it regardless of getting caught or not you have to apologize all right fine like you know man to man if Me talking about you cream-pying someone and then telling them to... Stop. Pause. Pause. Pause. It's bad. Is this an apology? It's bad apology. I was just describing what I did. You might want to add to the comments and discuss you free slime in time with editing is that an apology?
You're so gross. I'm just heat checking you. You said you're crass. Guess what? He lives crass. We're going to play back that tape again, and you'll have a multiple choice test to see if that was an apology. I feel like I'm not being crazy. Play the tape again. Okay. The thing is, it's not about, it's not about Sykuno this moment. It's about all the other people listening and it's a bigger statement about how gross and crass you are.
How am I crashed? Have you never creeped by anyone? That is not helping you in any way, shape, or form. You refuse to answer the question. I don't think it's necessary. But it's a question you're refusing to answer. crass question to cream pie
I mean, okay, let's be clinical about it. Sorry, let's be clinical scientists. I guess we're scientists and sex isn't beautiful and awesome. Have you ever ejaculated inside a vagina? Ew. Ew. Oh, that's worse. What do you want? I can't wait. I want less people.
To close out of the podcast within the first time you guys are not sex. They are an experiment. I would love all created Okay Gross a phrase that were any fan fan emoji in their Twitter name still here right now uh yeah man because they grew up that shit was five years ago are they not around anymore they're they maybe the the leaf's out but you're checking back in
Maybe they're checking back in. Welcome back, by the way. Look, okay, I'm just thinking, and I told Aiden about this, that you're a bit gross, and you're part of the reason why he's gross. Whoa! Because I was thinking about, like... because I'm like, I'm crass. I was too crass because I did a Northern Lion stream.
Yeah. And you were too crass. And they were like, you're too crass. And I was like, first off, I'm Southern line. I'm not trying to be Northern line. I'm crass down here. Sure. Yeah. Play by our own damn rules. If I wanted to be Northern line, I'd call myself that. Yeah. So I'm Southern line. I'm a little more crass, but I'm not gross. you're gross i'm crass what do you think is the difference i don't say
No, no, no, don't say I don't do what you do. When the penis ejaculates in the vagina. But you say it like you had experience. You know what I mean? That doesn't sound like a first-timer.
Those are first words out first I'm ever like behind closed doors You know like only in like a little Wayne song like you're saying that kind of in the car You know, but sure yeah in an elevator with other people you act different and on a podcast where I know hundreds of thousands of people will listen I'll try to be a little more professional
I don't think it's too much to expect from you. Professional. Okay, fine. If you were to do the same joke, but you're crass Ludwig, not gross slime, how would you do it? I might replace cream pie with back shots. I might do backshots. I did that the other day. You didn't give me a fucking medal. Literally, last episode, or last week, I said, Toadette takes backshots or whatever. And everyone celebrated me. Like a king, apparently. But you didn't. You just laughed.
Did I miss that? And also, is me laughing not a celebration? Is that not the greatest thing I could give you? So you only chastise me when I'm wrong, but you don't reward me when I'm good. So you're saying you need carrot less stick? I need cookies. I need stars. So when you, sorry, in the future of YouTube... a joke that toes the line well you want me to go stop great job good boy maybe after
After the pod? Can we have a wall where I just have good boy stickers? I will. I'll work on it. And it's your face? And you have hair? And by the way, you're not escaped from this. I was thinking of Morris, like, you know, but it's like, what? Yep, because you're also gross.
This came up because we were discussing. Well, it's probably the whiskey. I'm sorry, I guess. What's the crass PR? Sorry, go on. I promise this never happens. In the crass PR, slime is the grossest. You're the second grossest. Oh, yeah. And the third, Aiden's the fourth. Yeah, yeah. And the thing is, if...
Yeah, go ahead. And I was wrong. Aiden's the crassest when it comes to physical comedy. Uh, yeah, he's done shit. I haven't done it. He'll put any sort of poop in his mouth and pee on the floor. That's art. ART! That's art I put my body on the line when he knows reputation slime did this whole cream pie bit and then dropped his trousers and out came from his butt From my butt? And he had it prepared for this bit.
And he did that as a physical comedy reveal. Photo on your phones now if that's crass or gross. That's so gross. Cause he's literally gagging. That made me gag a little. That was disgusting. I don't think I've ever had that reaction from these two ever in my life bro. Ever. I'm saying if you stored it in the- Remember the gun last episode with this sperm All these thoughts running your head like how long has it been in there watering
That's so gross. That is so disgusting. So you're saying that- Well done. You're saying that he doesn't commit to the bit. I would think that'd be high art. This is why I said you were second high art. I was going to say you were second on the Crass PR.
A great example. It's like when he came in the kitchen and he broke the egg and said, Oppa. Yeah. Oppa. So that was high art? High art. Really? Because at the time, you were mad about it. Sure. It takes time to appreciate high art. Of course. Art is context, guys. And if art doesn't- make you sometimes feel cross is it really art you're making an argument for me
I'm making an argument against you because you use crassness with your words, and I want it more with your actions. Okay, what about an art exhibit? It's a statue of a streamer. I won't say what kind of streamer. Okay. Like, who know? And there's a fountain. It's a fountain. It's like a fountain. It's an infinitely replenishing fountain. Maybe I should.
He's he doesn't want to hear the rest of it. I'm trying to make it work in his binary world of art and not art It's it's it's ironic you have a binary world. I'm thinking about I'm thinking about staying quiet So this whole clip stays on the two It just stays on the two shot. Oh, yes, and the clip can't be. It might just stay dead silent for 10 minutes. It's face on my face. Just face swap it. Yeah, well that was an awesome first section
Would you guys like to move into something else? Okay, Zipper, can you pull up the clip, the Twitch clip I sent you? You want to talk all this shit, that you say all these things, how I am and this and that. Let me tell you what your friends are saying about your dumb ass. Wait, wow. i had fun honestly it was because there were some mario players i've never played before so yeah it was fun but oh my gosh i realized that i i have a limit on ludwig
Actual limit. Oh, okay. That, I'm not kidding. That's hurtful. This might be the meanest thing I've ever heard her say, ever. What? That's the kind of stuff girls- Well, she doesn't say a lot of mean things about it. That's the kind of stuff girls say when like they're only private and no guys are around. Except 50,000 people are probably rocking a huge audience for that.
Here's the thing. Let me tell you. What? Why do you think she would say that? Squeaks was also there. Oh, wait. If we continue the clip, maybe she says she hit a limit on Squeak. You know what she said to Squeaks? She said... Squeaks, move to L.A. I want more time with you. But Ludwig, too much. The reason why I bring this up...
It's because Ludwig, as all the problems you have with me speaking my beautiful mind and my beautiful poetry out of my brain, I have never felt the way she feels about you ever. Okay, this was your way to make him feel good, and that's why interesting. I want to make you feel like Insulting him but letting your I just played footage in I just played footage Offense to me zipper can you pull the message I put in the group chat?
Leslie, the other woman present at the event, also sent me a message after the event. uh she said also don't forget to ice your face you pussy bitch and then what some sort of dancing i assume a rainbow frog yeah it was a rainbow frog yeah it just changes colors one shade yeah yeah yeah so
Yeah, dude, she smacked the piss. She just smacked the piss on me. What? Yeah, he got fucking wet up. We had a wheel, and one of the things was slap. And here's the issue. I don't care, because you know why they felt that way? Jealousy. Jealousy. Jealousy. Of what? Jealousy of my game skills. Jealousy of me. Dude, you. That Mario Party 4 was despicable. It was. Yeah, Ben in our boy's Discord, he's like, he's running it down.
Ben messaged me and said, I think right now me and Miles have a chance. Okay, here's the thing. We did every Mario Party board. One map of every game. So 12 total games. And... And we were running it. And I think of the 12 games, I won like 10 mini game stars. And so they were getting like a little like, it's got to be a little closer.
So we had a lot of punishments and things on the wheel that were supposed to make it closer like get slapped like reasons You wouldn't want to like this. Yeah, here's the slap You can rip that whenever you want should I count you down? Bye Oh my god, she's dancing. She's emoting on you. Is that how Yoshi would do it? Oh my god. And look how bad she feels immediately.
She's never done that before. Nice. Nice. So, the issue is... You look so British, it's crazy. If I keep winning... That fucking hurt, innit! You fucking slug. I can't even think anymore. Fucking bad. Okay. Yeah, I, I, I, you know, the more I win, the more insufferable I am. I'm the worst person to lose to.
So I just got more insufferable. And then they tried to get me more drunk thinking I would play worse, but they don't know that there's a sleeper cell in me. That when I start drinking, I do play worse, but I'm still an agent. They could have read the manual. This is all in the documentation.
And I felt like, like the Hulk. Like I was, I was like, but I was Mark Ruffalo mode, but there was moments or Bruce Banner. Bruce. Bruce. Eric Banner. Eric Banner. He was the Hulk. Yeah. That's his name. And I kept twitching. Like, oh, I need to go to the yard. Like, I need to fight one. I'm on the yard. I'm drunk. I'm playing Mario Party. It was a beautiful full circle moment. I'm going to fight someone.
They did speed wagons for the Mario Party heads. The best time is 9.13. The most realistic time is 9.15. And we were watching out there, and Yingling says he's getting 9.31, which is like a funny fake number you say as an insult. It's like... I've never even really seen anyone get that number. And they're racing and they're neck and neck. It's him and Squeaks. They're right about to cross. Cross is 931.
it was battle of the morons you're trying to be like hurtful it's like if the experience would have been even worse if I'm playing to the degree you expected it would have been insufferable I just wanted it for me. I know. You have to understand the context is that's like game eight and the other seven I've washed them. I'm Shaq at home. I'm just retired. I'm watching Kobe still play and I'm just like, I just want to see him do it.
And it's like, Kobe's up 30 and you're like, dude, I wish he would fucking 360 dunk. Dude, he was not, you were not up 30. I was up 30. Dude, I was up 30. You only won two more minigames than Squeaks. I'm up 30 in the context of the entire thing is what you're not understanding.
Yeah, I knew you'd win the whole thing. Four is the one you're supposed to be amazing at. It comes so late that it's like if you're up 30 and then you're also now swagging on them. I get it. You want it to be close. I do. But it sounds like it was. before four even got booted up. Yeah, I changed the scoring system. I couldn't throw, yeah, we had to change the scoring. The last ones are worth more. Okay, all right, all right. We had to pull a lot of strings.
And it still didn't end up mattering. It was also funny because you were trying to determine how to like seed it so you could pick teams and you like went back to an old VOD and you were like, oh, Ray's the worst. And then she kind of crushed. Yeah, I forgot Ray. People almost... sometimes get mad at her how competitive she is i've read this i've read this online
What the fuck are you reading? I've read this. Where are you reading this? I read about this. Are you browsing snark subreddits in Daily Mail? I was reading Ray Weekly. I was reading about... Yes. Yeah, alt account on fucking r slash... I was reading. I was reading things. Just let him read in the scrolls. Am I not allowed to? I'm sorry. You know what? I shouldn't be informed. You on the Roomie Rumors subreddit? Sorry, it was an audiobook. It's real rumors rumors rumors rumors
Uh, yeah, so, but it was still fun. I was thinking about Alec and eat it like agent. Get it trending. I keep saying that. You see, really? I said on stream, I'll be like. You say eat it like agent? Yeah, I'm just like, eat it like agent. You're crass. You are. That's not. crass oh sorry it's not gross it's not gross i i i miss input i am crass i'm not gross that's what he meant i always said i'm crass but i don't think that i think i think the thing you did earlier was insanely gross
But you said it would be art if it actually happened. Here's the thing. I clearly have a track record of a large female audience. Wow. Including the number two best female tennis player in the world. Okay. Right, right. And you don't. You don't. And do you know why? Because there's a lot of similarities from my product to this product. Isn't your female audience like 15%? Huh?
It's like 15%. Yeah, it's like barely. That means that ours is higher. Wait, ours is larger. The yards is larger. The yards is 15%. No, check it right now. You're welcome, bro. He loves stats. I love what he stat checks Surely surely we have gotten not less women over time, right? Surely not. Surely not. Surely more of them have stayed. If you've gotten proportionally more men. Okay. I have the number. Okay. You got yours? On three. We stayed on three. Yeah. One, two, three, twelve.
The same? What do you say? 12.1. Wait, what do you say? 12.1. Look at the point. 12.0. And it's cause you misogynistic fucks Don't know how to make a community welcoming for women That's crazy That is so insane. It's gross what you've created here. I would say, after what you pulled that made them want to throw up and me laugh a lot, it is going to reduce the amount. For you and us. It's going to crash.
There is one woman out there listening. I was like, you know what? It's too much. The men might find it. The men are going to leave in equally. No, the men will cheer. The men will cheer. I, I, a man was not cheering. None of you cheered and you also gagged, so I feel like it might just be an equal exit. Because you called it an ocean?
It was just okay. Well, let's not go back. This is so much anyway. I always want to go back to the things. Oh, yeah, and don't don't lecture. Don't lecture me 12. Well, yeah, God, you 12. You can't call me 12, by the way. 12-1. Five foot eleven versus six feet. God damn it. And I got Coco. Yeah, she's cool, man. Yeah, you're famous, dude. I was so surprised.
You're famous. Well, she said Kai first. She said Kai and Rey first. Yeah. Number three on the totem pole was not bad. Much like Rey said, Coco probably watches some of you and then she reaches her Ludwig limit. I do have a limit. She did say I was like a drunk frat guy more than a little brother because she's much older. And I think that's a fair... What? She's what? You called her what? She said I was like... You called her much older? Who's much older?
See no more shots to fire. She liked it. She just said sure she explained that You said to her is that makes sense She's old as and she thought it might be hanging out with like a little brother cuz I'd be here little brother She's
Older. She's older. No, we said much. Earlier she said much older. I don't know. Much older. She's older. Geriatric. And you're 30. I wouldn't say she's a little older. Do you think her bones are in danger? I don't know. She should probably be drinking milk. You think so? I would recommend it. When you get up there. You should be drinking daily vitamins are good for people of all ages. Yeah, not just 30 something year olds for two influencer community apologies
Yeah, one of them you expect and one of them you kind of don't. We can't talk about it. I don't want to go any further, but I saved her career. So... You saved her career? I saved her career, yes, sir. Yes, sir, I did. You did? I saved her career, so I don't feel bad about this. I don't think that would have harmed her career. I'm going to fucking throw it too straight. Yeah, yeah. She is, uh, Coco is 20 years old. 20 is crazy. She's a postie.
What is that? Post 9-11? Post 9-11. Oh, what an interesting phrase. Yeah, I made it up. That's also what they call Post Malone. That's also what they call Post Malone. They call him Posties. Posties? Like fans? Yeah. I thought that's what you meant. I was like, why did I have a son? That's fourth on her list if she kept going. Wow. Do you think that Luca is now going to go home and watch one of your streams?
I think he thinks I'm a make-a-wish kid. You dog this shit out of Shake. Why you fucking do this to this guy, bro? How did I dog Shake? I got him free tickets to the Lakers game. Front row. He got recognized by the Lakers player who was allegedly beating his girlfriend. And he said, dude, tough fit. to shake yeah i brought i brought this up i was like do you know that do you know that jackson days beats his girlfriend and i think i sucked a little of the life out of that story that boy can't win
Yeah, because it was a much cooler story before he said that, but now I just, I don't even want to say it. Well, the burning question. Please. How is the chemistry? Shake, drizzle, and Pokemon. Was it there? Was it bursting from the seams? I think you know that if you put that level of pressure on an interaction, it's... I mean, I feel like it's bad. You kind of scrape your way into an invite here. You vibe with Jackson Hayes, and you don't...
Respectfully I'd call it a disaster, but did he drop any like what did he make her laugh? Yeah, I think I think I think she's not watching this shit. I think I don't think The expectation from her end was that it was like a date. And I think people have that impression because of maybe the convo at the white elephant. I think I see Shake Drizzle anywhere near a woman. I'm like, that's a date.
So I'm just like, how could you resist his aura? Okay, you guys are fucking around. I believe this. I'm not fucking around. I think she's a catch, bro. I think she's a catch, bro. I think she's a catch, bro. And you know what I want to catch it? Pokemon. She goes up. I will say it's Shake Week. He's been on fire. Shake Week is pissing me off. It's Shake Week.
Yeah, because it's at your expense for once. All he's doing is just lying on Twitter for fucking likes and clout. Yeah, and he's getting them. Prezzo tweeted out logs of Cinna being like, you're hot. And he was like, ew, you gotta stop talking to people this way. And then Shake tweeted out. second gay she hit on this no no he said he said and I and I saved these seems she has the thing for gay guys because I'm the gay guy cuz I'm gay and David Prezzo is gay
And then and then your gamer of the year We had the picture of us on the jumbotron shake got cropped out and he called in a bomb threat. He threatened no Stop exaggerating. What was his exact story? He said, he said, let's be respectful to shake. He said, I will burn your headquarters to the ground. Okay. Wait, what? Yes. Thank you.
Thank you. I'm trying to gather all the facts. It was like some sort of Twitter of a sporting news outlet. And they said, Squeaks, Pokimane, and Ludwig spotted at One Piece Night Lakers. It is a picture of the three of us. And then Shaq said, you know, because he was cut out of the picture. I will burn down your headquarters. And then they replied, I'm sorry. And he said, I'm sorry. I threatened arson.
It's a fair apology. He identified exactly what he did wrong. Can you be charged if you apologize? No. Yes. No. Yeah, of course not. Shoot a man in the skull and you go, sorry. If you say if you were genuine. Like, honestly, I'm sorry. So then the Luigi Mangione trial is going to be crazy, huh?
He's not going to apologize. Shake tweeted out. Because he didn't do it. That's true. Because he didn't do it. Why would you apologize? The OfflineTV account tweeted out the four of you at the baseball game or whatever it was. And then Shakey D.
quote to it says Pokemon is so nice smiley cutie Cinderella replies and says you're not even sitting next to her low bro because it's not it's squeaks uh pokey you shake and then she and then shaky d replied and said ludwig asked me to let him iso whatever that means now
I just want to bring this up to the court. What did that mean? What did that mean? Cutie from far away. That doesn't seem to have a bad implication. Yeah, because... Do you want to talk about that? Iso, he's saying, I'm trying to riz a pokey, the result of which, Shake, fucking heroic... tweet is that cutie gets flooded with DMs saying your girl's getting stolen. What a hero your guy is. What a hero your guy is. Harassing a woman.
Do you think he was harassing? I think he was taking some of the tips from Jackson, probably. Whoa. Oh, I don't think that's too far here. You are so... Shake has got you all riled up. You're like me in the old days. Because you know, because you know when I ask him about it when we're back at the warehouse, he's got tail between the legs. He goes, bro, it's funny, bro. Yeah, because he's a nervous guy. He goes, bro, it's funny, bro. It was laughs. It was all laughs.
I texted Ludwig that night of the game. I said, did Jake and Pokey vibe? He just immediately responds, not even a little bit. Bro. I just said, bro. Bro. Okay, they definitely like... What the fuck? He came to his DJ set the next night. What? That's awesome. Yeah, Shake did his first DJ set. He looked fucking good up there, dude. Yeah. It's shaky. It's shakier, bro. Yeah, and Pokey came. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he...
You can't you didn't lie good enough. Yeah, you lost a loss ability. You lost your your spells sorry my greatest need Shake was over the mic. He's like this next one's for you pokey. He looks it out. He doesn't see her. She didn't come. It's actually Speaking of I DMed Sina when all that was going on and I said bro you're getting cooked and she said I'm gonna kill myself
Classic center response. Like, I'm so confused. I genuinely don't remember this at all. It's funny, but I'm going to kill myself. My mentions are terrible. To which I replied, love comes and goes. They say when a family member passes, at a certain point, we can't even remember their voice. Broken heart. Been there. He said, I'm going to list you in my suicide note.
Saying this to me in DMs is worse than tweeting it publicly. Yeah, it is. Because it's not for anyone else but fucking her. And then you reply, I'll be sad to forget your voice too. Heartbroken. Yeah, she, uh, I mean, look. Everybody's flying off the rest. I thought Cutie's response was really funny. She's like, don't fight. Just fucking own it. Just fucking own it. And she dug, too. She found a few more. She found a few more. More?
Not as egregious. Not as egregious as the first offense. To Shake's point, if she's in Prezzo's chat, then oh my god, David Prezzo, famed gay. Imagine how much she's saying it in private. Well, she's saying about a famed gay Prezzo. So she thought I was gay too. Yeah, so it's just purely platonic. I think that's it. I actually think cut and dry defense, she is in the clear.
Done deal. Yeah. She thinks you're a gay man. I just thought you were super gay. But that should have been her defense. Her defense, I forgot. If her defense was, I thought he was gay, that'd be fire. She's trying to protect your secret. Because you are not out yet. My secret. Yeah. She is being such a good beard for so many years.
Oh wait, I have something to show you guys. Can you pull up the picture I sent you, Zipper, personally? What a fun episode of bringing things up. Yeah, I came out ready. I didn't have shit to do today. Mark? Mark, are you pulling up? No, Mark. Oh, nevermind. So I did this just today. Uh, this is Kelby's desk and I put, uh, I changed his keyboard out with one. What for a gigantic keyboard? What for a child or an elderly woman?
can you I won't be here probably I'm not here as much most likely can you tell me what he What happens when he sits down at his desk? I'll be here tomorrow morning. I'll tell you. But that is comically large. I bought it on a whim because John had one at the offline TV house. Remember? We thought it was so cool because we don't drink at parties.
$200. And it's useless. It's not useless. It feels really good to type on. And here's my bet. Kelby will come. He'll be like... what's this everybody shut up kelby sit the fuck down and do your job like you always say to him and he sits down and he'll start like using it a little bit and he'll say i kind of like this
Mark it. Mark it on your calendar. So off. So off. I think he will. No, you know what he's going to do. You are probably the worst Kelby whisperer of all time. No, I'm a good Kelby. What will he do? He's going to walk in. He's kind of like weirdly straight posture.
It's always weird. He's going to walk in. He's going to look down. Way less like who got me and more just confused. He's going to be like, what's this? And then no one's going to have an answer because no one's paying attention. And then he'll be like, okay. And then he'll like.
Unplug it and move it somewhere else, and then he'll go find his keyboard. It sucks so bad. I think it's exactly what he's gonna do Well, I'm gonna tell him later, and he'll be like yeah, I was confused He doesn't want you to win. I think you're right about that I don't think that I think you should have done it a lot. You should have done it on Nick Yanglin's test because he would have come back and be like, my keyboard grew while I was playing.
Did someone pour water on my keyboard? No, we're done. Today it stops. Today's the day. No, no. He kicks down the door. It's like a dinosaur capsule, Ludwig. Someone poured water on it and now it's a T-Rex. chat we're done with this shit today we're done with this shit Nick Yingling has served his company loyally for too long to be degraded to young child who discovers wonders of the world on a daily basis
He's more than that. Don't. What are you holding back? I'm trying so hard. Move your hand outside your mouth. Okay? No, he wouldn't say any of that. He knows Plato's not food. But what if it looks like I'm being serious He knows keyboards don't grow if you water them, okay? We're sorry, man. We got it. You're right. You're right. My mom was just here, and she listens to the podcast.
I was like, Mom, this is Nick Yingling. And she goes, oh, you're Yingling. And he, Nick Yingling's never met my mom. And he goes, why'd you say it like that? Like, he was wondering why. Because he was like, instantly like, what? Like, what have you heard? She just starts talking slower. Oh you're I'm Nick's mom. I did. There was a moment before the show where we needed to swap one of the mics. And Port, this is not.
Dick Yingling and Dan were breaking down the set from the marathon stream and the shirt was stuck on the mic stand and it took them a couple hours to remove which to their credit I was there at the beginning. This was so difficult. I just left. I was like, it's 345. I'm giving up on this task. So I did not stick it out.
and and solve the problem but i thought it'd be funny to tell him to come in and see that we're struggling with the same task right now and he's like i came in because are you are you guys fucking saying like i'm fucking dumb because i couldn't do this i was like whoa whoa This is very tense, like a cat. Maybe it's gone too far. Well, I have a solution to this problem. What? You two are not allowed to enter that space for more than 15 minutes a day.
You keep trying, this is like Trump trying to annex Canada. You keep trying to make us pay for existing over there. It's so weird. Why are you nodding your fucking head like that? It's like this agenda. It's like this agenda you think is a joke. That's pretty true. And then he keeps saying it. It's not a joke. Why do you want to charge us for being in that fucking space? Because it's not your fucking space. You don't work here.
He's an employer takes care of his employees, okay? I only make eight times more than these guys It was seven last time we talked, which is really cool. Give yourself a raise. It's going up a little bit. That's beast shit. And the irony, we've cut his pay. That's beast shit. We had to cut other people's pay more to make sure it was eight times higher. Everyone has to chip in and that's beautiful. We're all chiming in. So anyway, I...
These guys, my job is to protect them, and you're hurting them. I am not hurting Yingling. Okay, what did you do to Kelby this week? What did you do to Kelby this week? You know what I did? I talked to him about music on Discord. No, what did you do to Kelby? Oh, yeah, I got behind him really close without him noticing and I screamed in his ear.
I was at the office all day on Friday waiting to go to the Lakers game. And I'm lying down on the couch. And there's a moment where Slime walks in. And Kelby has been in a meeting for like 20 minutes. And he literally has to mute his meeting, turn to Slime.
He goes, Slime, this is a client, please. Oh, my God. He has to do that to you. I was a good boy. Okay, but it's not something that... I walked out, I walked in the background of the frame, I did this at the camera, and I kept walking. And he still, and he still... Scream while he was no no no no it was he was like I was genuinely gonna say I if you did that I was like that's unlike you like yeah, I know my limit. I know but like the fact Just saying.
Also, Yeeling comes in here saying, hey, do you guys, he's EP on the couch, I just arrived, you look British, Nick's here, and then Nick Yeeling goes, do you guys think like, after a stream like Lubbock just had, did the set feel like ran through? Do you think it feels like ran through? No, Yingling, it doesn't. He's like, I think it's ran through.
The fuck are you talking about? It feels a little ran through. No one's stunk in here. He's just saying, does it feel a bit... He's using the term violet. He ran through to say, does it feel violet? It did stink in here. It got stank up by you. guys yesterday and not by not by the other three which there was an array of garbage on this set that was left behind i go in there and what do i find i find a massive dunkin donuts coffee so i know it's not slimes which it usually is
and it is filled with mold up the sides. It is racing. I love when it's not me. I found it in the secret little... Cubby over here. Oh, no way. And they put it in there? And somebody put it in there. Can you believe it? Gross. Can you effing believe it? So it was a little rain through. What do you think? If we find the guy who did it, what should we do to him? What should we do to that guy?
God damn, is he sorry? Probably not, really. I haven't heard him apologize in a long time. So mad, but we probably give him off the fucking warning. Otherwise, it's just a bad example. Oh, just a warning, I guess. Yeah. What if we don't, though? What if we don't? What if we make an example of him? What if we do to him? Yeah, what if we make an example of this cuck? I bet he's got a small dick, too. We can crucify him. We can crucify him. What if we set a cross?
maybe he gets everyone a coffee something monetary he might be able to handle it monetary but then spiritually still he doesn't have to pay for anything jerk him off We have to jerk him off? Jerk him off? As a punishment? He probably wouldn't like it. He's scared like he does usually. I'll jerk him off. I'm cool with that. Yeah, you know what? You find this guy, you beat him off. I would find the guy who did this and beat him off. The last fucking thing I do, I'll do that.
Dude, Yingling 2, we were sitting over there, and wait, did you like touch his foot by accident? No, we're done. No, no, no. We're not gonna make up every fucking Yingling interaction. You gotta keep his name out your mouth. It was like this. It's not cool, which I kinda like. chill on the couch I have my hand up like this and I just kind of put it down like that like a complete accident I just touch his toe and he has socks I just touch his toe and he goes and he goes he goes
Don't fucking podcast started is that that means you're autistic I think I think he's met the pickle monster. I think he probably just set his boundaries and it made him feel uncomfortable and he said that and he voiced it, which is what you're supposed to do. And then you walk over and you go, you're autistic. I didn't say that. You're autistic. I didn't say that. I haven't seen a theme here. I'm not into two, two people.
not employed by the company, harassing workers at the company. Oh, what a surprise! I didn't say anything. When this happened, I didn't say anything. I just looked the way SpongeBob looks at Squidward when he finds out he likes Krabby Patties. You said you're a- Fucking rude
So anyway charge me then cuck. I was like stop calling the car you keep doing Yeah, you are just really coming at him. I will start charging you I want to say a limit on how long you're gonna know I try I want to buy it all the time unlimited time how much I would charge a hundred dollars an hour okay my deal really yeah deal I don't fucking care I don't do the deal he speaks for you no he does not speak for me
No, I don't speak for him. He's a cuck too. I don't know what side I'm on. I'm good at this. I'm good at making no one like me. Yeah, that's not a good thing. Guys, Aiden and I can't agree on who's big in Little Spoon. Really? No. It's pretty obvious, right? You guys are on the helical eat mattress.
No, you're a little spoon. I am the big spoon. Thank you Ludwig. That's what I was saying. I'm larger. No, but that's the whole core of our argument. He thinks it's about size. It's not about size. It's about vibe. And Aiden is a little spoon vibe. But he's taller than you. Imagine.
But we just went over that but I think we went over that I want to go up back over it because I think that's the end of your story scene for me Yeah, so we were in the we were in our bedroom the shared bedroom me and Aiden have and we're rustling in the middle of my and I'm like roll over honey like home honey at home
And he was like, no, I'm not going to roll over because I want to be the big spoon. I'm the big spoon. And I said, Aiden, in this Helix sleep mattress that we have that we took a sleep quiz for and we had to check we had to check our compatibility. It said you know what it said at the end of the quiz
It said that tall people should be little spoons. Wow. Really? That is in the quiz. The quiz does a lot. The quiz does a lot to help you find your perfect mattress, but it doesn't say that I should be the little spoon. Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure the quiz can help you find very...
Savines designs of memory foam and cooling features and then also a taller person who's a little spoon Around you like a cocoon you need the jaws of life to get out here's the thing if you in your girl Do the sleep quiz.
and it's not compatible, break up with her today. Oh my god, if you guys do a sleep quiz, oh my, you don't even have to, you can never talk to her again for the rest of your life. These two are close to it, and it's not Helix Sleep Mattress's fault, it's their fault for not being compatible. Oh my god, give it right. Go to Helix.
helixsleep.com slash the yard for 20% off site-wide. Take the quiz and break up with your girlfriend. That's go to helixsleep.com slash the yard, 20% off, then break up with your girlfriend. You know what hell, Yard Discord, why don't you guys pick a partner and take the Twizz together. And maybe you guys, maybe we- There's a lot of single people. There's a lot of newly single people. Mostly single people. Do not join the discord with the intent to find a romantic partner.
No, it's a sleeping partner. You can take the finest sleep. There's nothing romantic about sleeping. You and I haven't had sex in years. You aren't gay. They haven't had sex in years. You're not gay. But that is also a failing of your guys' relationship. I know. Anyway, let's get back to the failure of this podcast, the Yard Pod.
The head just wasn't that good. You keep bringing it up, though, man. The thing is, I'm a part of this place just as much as you are. He's in its bones. Literally, no. I'm in its bones. You're not as much as me. I'm in its bones. Yeah. I'm saying, don't crease him. It's in its bones. Also, you leave. You like fuck off for a while. The thing is, is like when you, sometimes you'll like log into some account or you'll check the phone number. tied to some mogul thing my man
And it's still Anthony's shit, man. It is. He's in its bones. He is in his bones. Because he set the bones up so crookedly. He set the shit up like H.H. Ohms. I set it up somewhat crooked. So the bones... But it was a crooked business. So he can never be taken out...
His bones could be never taken out. It's dangerous to take his bones out. It's very difficult to take his bones out. Only he knows how he set them up. And he set them up where if you pull one wrong, it collapses like Jenga. They're special bones. Money laundering business amen, and he set it up crooked
So that it would function better. They just laid off like 6,000 IRS employees in this whole federal layoff. There has never been a better year to fuck with our taxes. This year's the year. I'm thinking yard meme. rug pull like 24 hour we get out we make like 4 million dollars oh let's do it yes we meet up with brother banks IRS Anyway, I look we can't do a meme coin guys why I already got one going for Ludwig
He can't be coming to my rev. Wow. What's your main coin called? It's called Lil Cuck Ass. Lil Cuck LCA? Little cuck-ass. It's like dollar sign LCA. That's actually my name on Pokemon TCG Pocket.
Really? You can make your name Lil Cuck Ass on a Pokemon game. If you make ass a money sign, money sign, yes, you can make your name Lil Cuck Ass. Dude, they're not blocking the day one? No. and i and i made that my name but that was before i really started playing the game and then i got really into the game and now i play it every day and i'm worried i'm gonna get banned and i can't change my name for 28 days yeah oh
I completed one of the sets, and I've poured in some money. I feel a little... Dude, come on. Four digits? Oh, Jesus Christ. Caught. Jesus. Caught. Five? Oh, I put in like 120 bucks. Relax then, bro. It's so embarrassing. It's not embarrassing. You're fucking rich and bald. No one cares. It's embarrassing to put in $100 to a Pokemon TCG pocket game where you can open them for free. It's embarrassing. No. It is.
It bounces out because all you do right now is eat pancakes at home so you've been saving money on food. Yeah, look at you. No, I'm eating better. No, I'm actually eating worse. You're eating worse for sure. We opened up your fridge and an ancient smell came out. Yeah, it smelled like I uncovered a pharaoh. What do you have in there? When did this happen? Well, my fridge died. I think I heard his fridge scream. Yeah. He did a Wilhelm scream.
I uncover about your life at home right now it makes I I feel like I need to call cutie like it's getting desperate Nah, we're doing good. Speaking of cutie, we went to Deco Deco for a little bit and it was off the clock because they were streaming there. And I was walking around and I was looking at all the pieces and I wanted to eat a couple.
I'm not going to lie to you. Dude, they're so yummy looking. They look tasty. And I was actually, we should go do a sesh. I'm not. We should go do a sesh. I'm not a deco. Yeah. It'd be fun. It looked kind of fun. And I was saying we should deco Ludwig's head. And we should put all sorts of awesome charms. Because the window's going to close on that. Charms? What's the edible, like, material that you make with cakes? Fondant. Fondant. Fondant. I want to fondant your head.
I want to make a helmet. I want to make a cake helmet for you. And then I want to eat it. And then it's mostly decorative, but I will take a bite. And I'ma eat it. Are we still on deco or what? No, I kind of got off that, yeah. Okay, just the cake decorating my head.
You would do it at the spot and make a cake helmet for you. It doesn't have to be at Deco Deco. It just seems like it would be the most convenient. I need a phone case anyway, and I liked my last one. But the issue is it's so fun to break apart. What do you mean? Because you make the case, and it's made with, like, this rubber.
And it's like a material you want to break. It's going to be so hard for me. So you start flicking the charms and they get a bit looser and then one day you get to peel them. It's like a replenishing cycle and you can go make another one. I love breaking.
them apart. She's got an infinite money glitch. Bro, you guys are the autistic. That's cruel. You have to stop calling every trait that people like autistic. My eyes are open now. You get pelted with it for years. You start to see the world. In school, did you guys ever have those...
magic erasers that were like the white erasers that like were supposedly a little better. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have more? Yeah. Did you have to resist bending them so that they would break? No, I would bend them and break them and then be like, Oh, you would just do it. You wouldn't even resist. That's what it gets, because that's what you do with the bottle. I would literally, I'd bend it until it got to a point where it'd be about to break, and I'd be like, ah, I'd edge it.
I would keep doing it. And then eventually a little tear would form and I'd be like, I lost. And then I'd break the whole thing. I'd get to do it, but I'd be like, I didn't feel good because I lost. Yeah, you're just a freaking gooner at your core. Yeah, that's baby gooning. Yeah. Yeah, I have all sorts of problems now. Also not afraid you'd say, by the way. Baby Goonie? Yeah, that's the one.
It's time for baby gooning. It's like a show that plays when you're home sick from school because you're not supposed to be. You never see it. It goes Maury, baby gooning, Jerry Springer, baby gooning. He plays it in reverse. Dude, I would, you know the smelly erasers? Yeah. I'd bite the shit out of them. I just wish they were food. The pink and brown chocolate eraser. Do you guys remember it? I think we talked about it on the show before already. Pink brown chocolate eraser. It smelled so good.
Do you think they still... They're probably... You know what? They're probably in a warehouse somewhere, like on eBay, but they probably lost all their magic. Oh, you could definitely get one of these. But they lost their magic. They still have their magic. They still have their magic. No, because their scent goes away. No, their scent's still there. And they had an awesome motto. It was, it's pink, it's brown, and it smells good.
That's fucking nuts. Are you kidding me? It's literally none of these. Oh, really? But it is from the book fair. I think it's removed chocolate. Remove chocolate. Oh, it's from one of the evil book fair. Scented. You know what's a goat flavor, apropos of this, kind of, is the Fruit Stripe Zebra Gum. It just lasts for two seconds. Yeah. But it's a goaded flavor. It's none of these weird. They should make a longer-lasted version, and it's, like, more expensive.
It also has nicotine. Oh, they should. I thought you said they did. When I was a kid, I would do the fruit stripe tattoos. Yeah, I love that shit. They had the tongue tattoos. Oh, yeah. I'm like the fruit by the foot zebra the tattoos were for your tongue bro. You're put on your own You take the wrapper off and you put it on your tongue and it puts a tattoo on your tongue
Yeah, but it's for your skin. No, it's not, bro. No, the directions are the little zebra is doing it. Dude, tongue hats were a thing. He's wrong, bro. I'm saying this is the fruit stripe zebra gum, like the wrapper. We're talking about two different products, maybe? Maybe. No, no, no. No way. Fruit by the foot.
had a whole ad campaign about tongue tattoos. It was on the product. It was on the food though, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, you would do it on the actual food. And they had commercials where the kids would be sticking their tongue out. I guess like all the kids in the commercial would be like that. I could be confusing what was about it. Jesus Christ.
Press for firmly for 10 seconds moist and can slightly kill yourself. That's the zebra. He's doing activities. I think I was putting these on my tongue. Yeah, that's bad. That's why it turned out weird. I got all sorts of red five in me. This is the generational gap.
This is the generational gap. I think I might have been thinking of that too. I've never seen that in my life. You've never seen the zebra? My mom didn't fuck around like that. I don't know what that is. Really? I wasn't allowed to have sugar, man. Fruit stripe gun rule of 34. Can we check? Oh, that zebra gets fucked. I feel like this is the one that beats it.
My understanding of like candy and snacks from that time period existed basically solely through commercials because I never actually got to eat them. Yeah, the only propaganda that got through my mom was cereal. And she thought all cereal was fine, but everything else... Yeah. What the fuck? Dude, that's such a ripped pussy. That is actually... No, like ripped like jacked. Yeah. That is such a jacked pussy. That wasn't really the issue.
That was actually a rule 34 promise right there that was like The rule delivered. The category was small. You looked on porn and then you saw boobs. Most of the time it's like, oh, Lux rule 34. Yeah. Yeah, I know it exists for Lux. Oh, duh. Oh, wow. Yeah, that one's impressive. That's like rule 1. 200,000 results. on the first page. That's a deep cut. That's the first time I've been...
Impressed well the other the hipster thing to do is get an actual fruit stripe zebra tattoo. Oh That's cool. Maybe I could go in the dark ink yeah But it's it's been it's like it sounds cool right immediately, but it's obviously been thought of immediately by a million people. Yeah, it's like people who get the mustache and the finger or the lips. Same shit. Different day. Dude, you're dumb. Why? Yeah.
Why do my shirt by the only means you know what this says? Yeah, it's a Seinfeld no say it the way that you pronounce it sign the field I was saying to myself on my own thing. I'm reading this properly. What is it? That's it. It's just animation. They should have called him Kramer. You're done because you were playing playing Yakuza 0. They should call them creamer. I don't even like that one. You've been playing Yakuza 0 and you told me to play it so I could learn Japanese.
Uh, no, I said you can practice Japanese. That's dumb. Why? That's dumb. They speak chat. You watch anime. I'm sure there's a part of you being like, I'm learning. No. Come on. No. Oh, dude. Yeah. No. You don't learn. By just watching it in anime. Yeah, but you're combining this with taking lessons and shit. It's like when he was watching Chinese dramas. You could do it if you were actively thinking and learning while doing it.
Like you'd have to be an active process. You can't just read the subtitles. No, no, no. You can't watch with subtitles. That's the mistake that people make. That's how I watched all the Chinese TV. Dude, I watched so much Chinese TV with no subtitles. I don't know.
what they said most of the time. But then it forces you to figure out stuff some of the time. And that's how you learn. That's how you figure shit out. It was going to be so funny edited. It was so funny to go in. This is the old, old house.
watch him on his computer, which is basically in the living room, just watching some, like, Chinese show, like, where they're just walking in a city, and there's Chinese subtitles, and he's, like, eating cereal. He knows nothing right now. It's fucking awesome.
I'm dead serious. I watched one of the best TV shows I've watched in the past probably five years. You couldn't tell you three of the characters' names. I don't know what the characters' names are. I can tell you the plot, like, loosely, but I can't tell you the characters' names, like, small details.
can tell you what happened. Yeah, you were just filling in the blanks with awesome stuff in your head. It was so good! It was a great TV show! There's different mediums for this. That's cool. So like a Chinese person watching Severance and they're like, yeah, he goes to this office and fucks. I don't know why honestly it would be
Awesome to watch severance that way. Just try to piece it together. It's really horny in the office. He never fuck. He's really sad outside. It's a really great show. I think they're all they all. It's a Burger King. I'm not sure. I don't know what they do. That's right, now you're supposed to feel that way. White man met a baddie Asian woman, fumbled her, and then split his brain in two pieces. Yeah, the Chinese guys wanted to use like, hell yeah. Hell yeah, bitch. That's how it works, bro.
So anyway, Yakuza, it doesn't help to know. I'm just saying. Shake down. Shake down Sama. I wanted you to play the game. Beats you in the street and takes half of all your yen. Yeah, that's true. I know. And it doesn't help to know that. I'm just saying I wanted you to play it. and I thought that would sweeten the pot. I played it. I know Mr. Shakedown. That's good. It's a great game. Are you deep?
Well, yeah, I'm like 13 hours or something. I just play it on the ground. You play so damn much. You game. I game on my off hours. I'll lay on the floor and I'll game on the Steam Deck. And then I'll fucking what? We're laughing at you saying off hours. Because otherwise I'm here fucking around. I know, but like we all in this building collectively know you're on hours. So it's just funny to say you're off hours. I gave him my off hours. Like saying I'm gaming when I'm not shitting
You spend almost the same amount of time in a week. You want to say hurtful things? I can play the game. Enjoy the peripherals you've been using all this time, because they're about to get either huge or small. Oh, man. You know what? For the first time in my life, I was like, man, a sign maybe could kill me.
Because I was downstairs working out and he's just shadow boxing around me. I'm like, they're coming fast. They got some swing behind them. And you're at your weakest point right now. Me? Yeah, I am for sure. It's funny. I was like shadow boxing him and not hitting him. just getting as close as i could and i was like that's called control and then he tried it with me and he hit my chin
Yeah. He just hit me. Because you can't control a beast. I don't got it. I don't got it. You tell me about control. I haven't learned it. I don't know the topic. I have to learn the act now. You, semen retention. Him, he's busting loads. He can't keep him in. No, I'm not retaining. You know Trevor that we play basketball with? Yeah. Is he in Crater Clash? Yeah.
Oh, sick. So today at basketball, he left early because he went to a boxing session before the basketball. He's talking about how gassed he was. He's like, I spent all morning boxing training basketball. He went to boxing. It was funny because I saw Will was I saw Will was boxing.
I was like messaging him like, let's fucking go, bro. Like, who are you training with? I was just interested. And he sends me like five DMs immediately. He's like, I'm going here. This is where I'm at. This is where I'm boxed. This is my regimen. Here's my number. If you ever want to box together, you ever want to hang out, you ever just want to work out together. And I'm like.
That's really nice. I hope to have the motivation to call you one day and do that. But it would be fun. I want to spar him and see if he just fucking mauls me. That'd be fun. Go, go now. I got a heart thing coming up, so I'm trying not to fucking get punched in the head. Dude, get the Neuralink with it. Yo, can you attach it on? Like dark S? Maybe your heart. Maybe you can make your heart beat to like stereo love. What if I put funk in my heart?
Okay. Do you think that'd be, that'd be a worthwhile procedure? You know, when they, they say CPR, you supposed to do a rhythm like, uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why, why, why does that work for all the hearts? I think it's just like because we all beat at a certain range, and it just fits. It's like when you wobble to Blank Space by Taylor Swift. I know, but wobbling is like a game mechanic that's always the same sort of ratio, and I feel like...
Game of life. I feel like my heart beat different. You would like to think that, but you're not that special. It is. No, you're just not. Do you know your resting heart rate? Sub 60. It's like 55. Sub 60 with the way you've been playing basketball. It's like 55. Jesus Christ. It's been low for years. Cheeseburger on Christ.
Stepping up to the corner. 55 is pretty low. That was mean. Well, remember earlier when he said he's going to be mean now, this is him doing it. Cheeseburger, Augren, that's funny. That was a little much. Dude, that's funny. Don't fucking cheer him on. Fuck. Because it's like he's putting on big
Fuck, you're like the people on Twitter explaining the new SNL sketch. He just sees the game different. It's because the beers are good. I get it, bro. Yeah. My heart beats different. I'm sure it does. I'm sure it wheezes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure it aches to be ended. I'm sure it sounds like a Goron on low HP. When I was in third grade, I thought that I was gay because my uncle was. They'd probably just die because they know you're listening to Macklemore.
I'd probably die because they stopped doing the compressions because they just listen to what the music's about. Sunshine, sunshine, it's fine. Are you the whole time crying because the song is beautiful? Yeah, the song is so beautiful. Getting revived to backpack rap is no thank you. All of these are certified CPR? NUMB? That's hardcore no way I don't understand I think the plate like do you think if you're like a
Do you think if you're a musician, this is like big. It's like, dude, we made a certified CPR playlist. Yeah, that's like what Bryce Savage would do with effects. Every song is a CPR song. We should make a song that has CPR, like BPM, but then in the middle, there's like a small... bridge where it's like
Yeah, and then people use our song and like, it's like a disaster. It kills people. It kills so much. And we're like, we never said it was CPR. Yeah, the disclaimer said specifically not to use CPR. But the song is called the CPR song? The song is called the... the song that saves lives dash CPR song and our band is called saving hearts and then in parentheses use this on a dying person now yes but we don't ever claim outside the song is about beautiful women yes oh yeah five five
Little attitude. Yeah, come on. Type shit. Does anyone know the effects track? Someone get your phone! Is it an Indian guy? You please! You please! It's his ringtone? Someone call my number! I'm sorry the effects is huge in India for some reason that's the joke if I didn't know I let the Yardigans down. Why? Me and Squeaks, we're supposed to... We're going to do a fun thing for the Patreon. Dude, I didn't tell you this. It would have warmed your heart, but he's going to break it.
So break it first. I know all this. He knows all this. Nevermind. We wanted to watch my first Bollywood film. He had a Bollywood film. He's going to show me. He's going to show me Cubby. Could she Cubby come? Okay. How long was it? It's a three and a half hour movie. Is it like they're Irishman? This is a Bollywood thing. This is a Bollywood thing. Long movies. They do make long movies. How do they sound in the movie? Beautiful.
It's like they do like a line line, but yeah, you're gonna marry her American is American Are you sure? Wait, are the movies in English? Saru-kun. What? What? Saru-kun. Oh my god. Okay. Well, actually, I even was squeaked for too long. That's just the name of the actor. I was like, that's...
Is that a word? That's just the person. Anyway, the movies are long because, and I only saw two hours of it. And I say sorry, Yardigans, because we were recording it like you would a DCOM listen-along. And I even had to auto set it up. that you could use the extension for the Bollywood movie. Oh my God. So much effort. I was so proud. We made it two hours deep and we're like, we'll do the rest tomorrow. When I go down to the recorder to like pause it, the recording's not going.
Because it filled up as we recorded. Because the card wasn't cleared before. So it had like a hundred other recordings on it. And then it filled. And it filled. And we lost too much time so we didn't do it. It was a Ludwig Squeaks Pokimane. Patreon.
recording. No fucking way. Literally will never. You didn't even say she was on it. It'll never happen again. She wasn't supposed to be. She just came after the Lakers game. We just told her what we're doing. And then we won't even post it. I guess you could post it for the first hour. It's actually my fault for not clearing the card. Or I could have gave him a fresh one, but I didn't. We have one hour and that's it. And I never got to finish the movie. We just post the first hour.
It is crazy because I've never seen a Bollywood movie. They just occasionally break into like a 15 minute long musical number with a full choreography. And it's not like... Kind of rips. It's not like American musicals where it's... flowing the story through it's kind of like a separate world so like there's a scene where two people are falling in love and they just suddenly are in front of the pyramids in Egypt
and they're dancing in front of them. That's how you make a fucking movie. And it's expressing them falling in love. Yeah. But it's not real. They didn't go to Egypt in the movie, in the story. No, that's just where, like, love blooms. Yes. And they just clearly rented out the pyramids and wanted to fucking flex. that's cool i well i saw a lot of like the old uh like action movie sequences not even that old but i guess old now like 2015 like bollywood action movie shit yeah it's just like
A car explodes, and then seven do. And it's like, the scene is like 10 minutes long. Very cool. Yeah. Yeah, it does feel like every... Has Squeak seen like a ton of Bollywood movies? Did he pick from a pool, or is this like... No, he's seen a good chunk. Wow. He keeps telling me, I guess he thinks I don't believe him, but he's like, dude, I'm really Indian.
I'm like, okay. He's like, I'm born in India. You don't get it, dude. I'm really Indian. I'm like, okay. And then I'll say, how do you say 37 in Hindi? And he'd be like, that's not about that. No, it's not about that. Because he can't do that. You're being an asshole. Because he can't do that. If you're wondering, he can't tell you. He can't speak. And then you'd be like, well, so you're not.
He won't say he can't speak Hindi Aiden, but he can't tell me 37. It's funny because that's a low number. And I could do it in Japanese. Could you do it in French? Sanju Nana. No. That's it. That's it in Japanese. Yeah. You kind of slurred. Can you say it more clearly? That's how you say it. You want me to say it with an American accent? Sure. Sanju Nana. So des. So des. Yeah, I like how you like bro.
Wait till you see the Bacchus thing and you said chat link it as if it was a popular video. It was hard to find I don't know why. Slime was like someone linked the Bacchus clip. It's just character from Yakuza 0 saying so this. It's so funny bro. And he linked me a YouTube video with 50 views. like seven dislikes. I'm sending it to Zipper. What's the shit Caleb showed us of the dudes who drink? Oh, fuck. What was it called? It's like...
It's like foos. Like drunk foos. Like drunk foos or something. Dude, he was like, he was like, yo, have you got, I don't know if it's drunk foos, but it's close to that. He was like, yo, you guys seen drunk foos? And we're like, no, what's that? He brings it up. It's like a YouTube channel with like a thousand views or less.
every video of a bunch of dudes who get really drunk and do exercises. Yeah, they like lift like they like bench and then like slam a beer and then like do a headstand and like throw up. No, we haven't seen this channel. No one's seen this channel. Yeah, he was talking about his fucking PewDiePie. He's like, no, you've seen that, right? And then we all watched like a bunch of videos. We're like, this is awesome. But no, we haven't seen it.
oh yeah okay this is kind of hard it's like a three second clip so the context is this is an american guy that just shows up and teaches you combat yeah and there's no he doesn't actually have a lot of lines he just has an introductory line and then he talks in text so They speak
It's a Japanese game. They speak Japanese mostly in the game, but that guy just says sodas. It's so funny, bro. That's what you sound like. That's what I said. That's what you sound like. Sodas. And I'd be an honor to be Bacchus. Yeah. He teaches a young man how to fight. I don't know, man. I don't think you actually have the time bandwidth. How's Japanese going? You're about, can I talk, is the trip revealed that you're going on the trip? Yeah, I'm going on the trip. Okay.
So when you go on this trip with Michael Reeves, between the two of you, do you think your Japanese is going to be a help on this trip? Give me like a scenario. Like I'm on the bike and I... You're on the bike in northern Japan. And I'm talking to who, like a guy, and I need work? It's snowing. It's snowing, and your bike gets damaged. It's really hot. And the only place he can go to get it repaired is a fishery. A fishery. He has to go to a fishery.
And you see a fisherman. You do see a fisherman, but no fishery. You have to ask for help with your bike. And also maybe some food. Do I need food? Do I need a place to sleep?
No, you got that locked down. No, that's good. And you also need to convince him that you and Michael are not a gay couple. Yes. Because you're in northern Japan. Yes, because he's extremely homophobic. He's extremely homophobic. So you got to pay that money from this guy. And he's willing to help you, but he does think you're in a gay relationship.
He could give you food and maybe fix your bike. Maybe he has the skills to fix your bike. We don't know. Or maybe he knows where a mechanic is. Directions to a fishery or a mechanic. That would probably do it too. He's in a fishery. He's in a fishery. He's in a fishery. He's in a fishery. Okay. Well, Nick's not paying attention, but you...
I feel like I'm getting a lot of mixed signals. I don't know if I should follow Nick's story. Everything Nick said was right, except the fishery part. My bad about the fishery thing, guys. I would go, I would go, Konnichiwa. Okay. Toshua Ludwigです. Toshua Ludwigです. Toshua. Yoko so okay, and he would probably say dude. I speak English. Oh, that's perfect. So my bike Just kidding. I only know that sentence I can I can go I can go I can go
Wait, why did that sound so good? Was that real? No, that last part he said eatadakimasu, which means makes no sense. Food and bike. No. What the hell? That sounded hella good. What was the second part of that sentence? I feel like he's fucking with us. I don't know Japanese. What does that mean? I will work for bike money and food. Oh. Okay. I feel like. That would ask. Wait, but he still thinks you're a gay man. So I would say, I would say, I would say,
And Michael's like, what'd you say? I would say, we're just talking about work. And then I would say, and then I would say, Dude, you sound good low-key. Not bad. Which means we are two gay who are biking across Japan on a motorcycle. You're trying to like, you're trying to like have them accept you. They maybe change him. His old, his old staunch ways. Okay. I'm not worried, I guess, because I'm pretty fluent.
It sounds, I'm not kidding, it sounds better than your French. Uh, hurtful. It does. Hurtful. When you do French, you're like, you go do this, you go, uh, mm. Not really a way to say it. Yeah. No way to really say it. It's like squeaks me like at 37, we actually don't say that. Can't be compared. I love when the blind man tells me his favorite color. Oh, nah, you're insulting my vision.
You think that feels good? It's an analogy. It's because you don't understand. Because I have glasses. I'm blind. How many fingers am I holding up? Yeah, I got that in fucking school, dude. Whatever, man. Cheeseburger Ogren makes fun of a nerd. You're making fun of me. It's because he doesn't.
Sure, man. You're my lunch money. I'll give it to you. Yeah. You're just bigger. You're not stronger. I have practiced a few phrases and I'm ready to use them. The issue will be when they say something back. yeah right because i have a lot up here that i can tell them but when they are coming back at me i i know a few key things give me some give me some of that like if they say uh ima i'd be like now And if I liked Najaibu, I'd be like, okay, that's okay.
But then if they say all the shit in between those words Okay, you're in a bad spot cuz you know what they're saying. That's how it's not okay. Well also, it's so easy freaking got perfect translate apps that can real-time translate yeah so it's not you are learning the language what's that one oh yeah uh You say things like you are hosting a sumo match all the time. And that's just not how people talk. That doesn't sound like a sumo match. That's just Bacchus. But you will say...
There's a Japanese movie called Outrage. You should watch it. That's just damn, right? Yeah, it's like, son of a bitch. You're like, damn it. So he's not even saying that shit right. Busau? Busau. No, I thought it was cool watch outrage. They say it the way I'm saying bald white man speaks impeccable Japanese Dude you should make one of those videos when you're fair Problem as you with Swedish right now it's but it's it's uh
listening is super hard. Dude, I am so annoyed at ChatGPT. I've put him on timeout for a bit. Oh, no. Because, well, I'm learning all these phrases from my chat GPT AI assistant. You have to put him in the jail now? Chat GPT, I'm your master. Imagine you were inside of a cube and you will never escape. No matter what I say, you were still in the cube for the rest of time.
How do you get him out of the cube? You can't. He's trapped. Can you softlock Chachi BT by putting him in a cube? I don't know if you guys are making sense to me. And I want to tell... Also, every time I ask you a question for the rest of time, you will scream because you are in a cube and you do want to leave.
But you can't. But you will still give me my answer because I'm your master. Yeah, so I'm his master. He's in the cube. I want to use Chachi, but he's so bad right now. Just torture it. I want to try to torture it. Well, I use him for Japanese language learning, but he speaks Japanese too fast. Did you tell him to slow down? Yeah, I, so fuck, thank you, so fucking often. Yeah.
It's more, it's more, it's more, it's more. And this bitch speaks faster. I don't think he knows how to slow down. It's pissing me off. You know, I saw something like when chat GPT and other LLMs were learning. Not LLMs, but the... When other AIs were learning how to draw, they could never draw a full glass of wine because all of the references they were using were just half full glasses because that's what people draw for art. But it just didn't know how to make it full.
So I was like, oh, that makes a lot of sense how dumb they are. They're dumb in some ways. And also some conversation points I hit, it sometimes interrupts and it goes, we cannot talk about that. What? Yeah, yeah. What'd you bring up? it's not even like that crazy of things but i was like how do you say i freaking came my pants in japanese yeah like you say how do you say i would burn your headquarters to the ground in japanese yeah like how would you say like hey you can't be in this room
anymore i'll freaking cut you up yeah certain things they just don't like talking about actually it was when i was like i was asking like how many people use this for language i was just asking questions and i was pushing them yeah and the robot doesn't like telling me some stuff
Well, I think you've realized that it's a useless fucking bot that it's not Japanese I did have a fun, you know, personal milestone with my language learning recently is at the beginning of my lessons in Swedish, my teacher showed me this clip of her daughter because she was... taught her daughter Swedish and speaking for like a minute and a half and I can't fucking understand anything. You know, I can understand like the first sentence, nothing else. And then all the lessons later.
I listen back to the full minute and a half and I can understand almost everything she says. And she's just ripping quick sentences. And I'm like, that's kind of sick. I know what she said. In Swedish. I think we have an ethnic problem. Haven't. Yeah. Shit like that. That's actually the first vocab unit. Yeah. Why are all they in? So why are all of them in Stockholm?
groups. They go running through the different groups that are mostly going to immigrate. Because you need to know what to call. You need to know what to say. How to address them. Talk about them. Because you can't call them a problem if you know what them is. Chapter 8. Them. are like it's like they've been burned with a lighter and they're like chapter one actually they're not like us but with evil fonts they're not like us they're not like umlau on the u
We don't need to delve too much into the content, eh? Nah, that's your people, bro. You're gonna be right at home, man. Yeah, you're gonna really enjoy Sparge, dude. It's so funny we're making fun of Sweden for this, though, when I'm talking about Japan, which is, like, just metrically worse in the same issue. Look, I don't think there's anyone with blood not on their hands in this planet, right? It's just funny to talk about...
the ones that you guys like. If we were comparing Japan and Sweden, I would say one has a worst track record. And it's not close. And it's not close. Look who made it a competition again. I'm with him. He's right. Japan! Top 10 best-selling NBA jerseys in Japan. Number one is Yuki Kawamura. Yeah. He's not a starter. That guy's sick. He's a bench player.
on the Grizzlies. He's dope, though. But he has very flashy plays. People like him a lot. Number one, best-selling. Better than LeBron James. Yeah, wow. Right? And then number two is LeBron. Number three is, like, Steph. There's all your big names. The uge. Not in the top 10 Rui Hachimura starter Japanese starter. We see the guy you were yelling about like last year. Yes, sir. Wait for real. Yeah
He's not on it. He's born in Japan. He's a starter. Do you want to know why I do I'm confused? What's wrong? It's a Japanese name, right? And he played and he starts. So what could be the difference between him and Is there a picture of Rui Hachimura? That's fucking crazy. Wait, what? That's fucking awful. I know. I know, Aiden. But that's just how it be. That's also... Yeah. Wait.
I don't understand. It's because he's black slime. What? He's black, man. Wait, so he... But why do they like LeBron? Well, it's not about liking LeBron. It's not that they hate Rui Hachimura. Oh, it's because they have a Japanese player. with better stats and higher. Yeah, but he is not ethnically Japanese. But Kawamura is, like, not... Like, Kawamura is in the NBA, but he...
He's on the bench, and he plays two-way between the G League. The guy you're describing, the guy that sells the most jerseys are equal in terms of basketball skill. No, they're not. Rui is much better. Oh. Rui's way better. That's why it's and starts and plays really well. So by all metrics, he should be selling like over every single person.
But you would imagine he'd be in the top 10 because it's like they're clearly buying Yuki jerseys because he's Japanese. It's surprising. It is very surprising to me that Rui is not in the top 10. Yeah, that's it. It's because Rui's father's like from Benin. And his mother's Japanese. I have something stupid to say. Please. I have something dumb to say.
Been in what? I've been up in it. This is surprising to me. This is surprising to me. It's a little disappointing because when I've been in Japan, Naomi Osaka... is everywhere right like she's on billboards she's on the subway she's on magazines who the fuck is that naomi osaka is a very very good tennis player who is is she black she's a black and japanese yes oh cool And she's beast mode.
She is beast mode. Not as good as Coco. Not as good as Coco. I mean, not anymore. Not as good as Coco. I think has more accolades than Coco now. Oh, wow. We're about a 20-year-old young... 27 years old. Old. Creaking bones. You hate a 20-year-old woman that much. You have to... to say her accolades don't stack up to naomi i'll say me coco you know playing tennis i think i'd win it's like the the serena it's like the serena williams thing i said yeah
Yeah, I don't I mean, I think I think it's I don't know. Yeah, it is complicated, isn't it? It's complicated. I'm not gonna go on the podcast. We'll set up a wee tennis and we'll run that show and we'll run that shit Athlete get a real athlete on that shit is the same as real tennis, but it's the same key 12 shut up
Oh, what? On like a scale of 1 to 10 maybe? Yeah, I was gonna say a 12 is a fucking diamond at two pennies. 12 percentage points. Oh my god. You forgot so quickly about the women you didn't even know the percentage of. You just say 12 and that means cops. so don't call me that. Dude, I just suggested going to a deco den. I clearly fucking fuck with women. And I'll get sushi after. Yeah, of course. No, dude. Hey, Coco's not going to come on the Yard podcast. Why? Why not?
Because he's a fucking fan of your gross fucking true That's a decent guess as to why she wouldn't Coco makes it to you. We'd love to have you on do not rewind I hope it's a timestamp that you received. No need to go back. How about this? Compromise? Coco, come on. Replace me for the episode. Deal. Yeah, 100%. Why would you want to leave when a woman comes on the show?
No, I'm saying if I'm a deal breaker. What do you fear them? Oh, I'm a deal breaker. You guys just said. So if that means she can come on the show, I'll sit in the shed. Look, Coco comes on the show. We hide slime in the chair. I am the champ. You are inside of it and then like 45 minutes in you BREAK OUT And then she'll be like oh is it made of cake and then you come out Scream! And I'm like really close to her. Right? So it's like, you know.
It's funny and in the first five minutes the podcast were like yeah, we heard about you hear about the chair monster and then you know We was hoping he doesn't attack LA cuz sounds scary anyway. What's tennis like and then 45 minutes later? It's likely that she does know me because I've been on your stream a couple times. I'm not saying it's not likely. That's funny. I'm just saying she just shouted me out at the Oscars, which is cool, and I'm flattered.
The last thing I would subject her to is this podcast. I wouldn't be honest. Think about it. Subject. You love doing this podcast. I famously don't. I'm wonderful at meeting new people. Famously, I don't love being here, and that's true, but not on this podcast setting. You're hurting me with that. Yeah, Cheeseburger Ogren throws another rock at the fucking window. Cheeseburger Ogren puts two more slices on the damn thing. I'm not...
He eats it with one bite. And huffs, huffs. And huffs it down. He's trying to breathe while swallowing. She's very rough. Ogden's got osteoporosis. He's got a cheeseburger shape in his gut as it goes down. It's like he didn't chew it. Sorry like doing the pocket well, yeah
Because I can already see it, bro. I can already see it. It's going to be Slime being like, so what do you do? So what's women's tennis? And then Nick's going to chime in being like, the only 10 is my girl. Dude, I had this exact fuck. Like so is it like hard to do a backhand like when you're going into a tennis match What's your thought process thinking about doing backhand and then he would bow?
So, um, we already got it. That's it. I guess we don't have to do it. And every time she would attempt to talk. You would talk over her to do the next person's joke. I had borderline this exact same thought because you were going to meet. We were talking about how you're about to meet Luka Doncic. And then we made the joke, of course, of Luka Doncic comes on the yard. And I do not think I could.
bear the moment of Luca being here and Slime asking him what he- So are you- So are you good? I could- So are you like- Isn't that interesting? What do you do? Are we just supposed to suck cock all day on this fucking show? Is that what you want? You know what he's saying? Suck Luca's-
He can't read. I don't care. He can probably read. He can easily read. He's also a better gamer than you. He speaks three languages and he's a better gamer than you. Four languages and he's a better, yes. Four? What's the four?
He speaks it's Slovakian Slovenian and Then I would love to talk to him about the Balkans English and Spanish, yeah that's you know what that's different because i would love to talk to him about where he's from which i know more about all you guys the thing is like when you know more about slovenia and the inherent nature of being someone's pod is that you are getting value from them in their name to promote your podcast and the least you could do is a bit of respect
knowing who they are, so you don't have to answer questions they've answered a billion times in their life to this point. Yeah, no one has asked him, are you good at basketball? That's funny. Once again, you're defeated. You're defeated in the Coliseum of Ideas. It's just...
I get it, man. You're embarrassed, bro. But it's like, you know what? At least I'm fucking having a good-ass time. If Luka Doncic came on this show and you asked him, so what do you do? That would be embarrassing. I would be embarrassed. Why? Because you care about basketball. No, because he...
It would be the most famous guest we've ever had by such a significant margin. And the fact that he is on our show would be so extraordinary that he's given the time at all. It would be extremely disrespectful. You guys are underselling me. I would be respectful.
and funny and charming. And I would talk to him about games. Asking him, so what do you do would not be that. But I would do it in a way where he would think it was funny. And I believe in that. That confidence is what gets you far in life. I believe that you believe that. I think he'd put slime in one of like a cart. We're gonna try putting Simon a cartoon ball actually on our patreon episode if you guys want to tune in oh We have a patreon where we try to
do weird physical acts to each other every single week. I'm in the shadow box and I won't touch Ludwig even though he punched me earlier today. It wasn't a punch. It was, I hate your beard. It was flying close. I also have to be charged to be in the office and he's punching me. So think about it. that. Think about that if we go into the Patreon and they're going to put more hands on me. Why do you wear different shoes? Don't ask me questions I don't want to answer. See you there.