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Hi. Hey. Bet you thought you'd seen the last of us, huh? Don't be discouraged by the short timestamp - I don't want to spoil the surprise, but we've got a big announcement for y'all...
Mar 19, 2022•5 min
The Worst Thing We Read This Week
A bi-weekly comedy podcast where we discuss the books you hate to love, and love to hate!
Episodes
43. Paper Towns- John Green
Welcome back listeners! John Green’s manic pixie dream girl fantasies continue this week as Quintin tries to track down his childhood best friend Margo, who may or may not be entirely made of paper (gross). Featuring philosophical cops, tips for breaking and entering, and the Fiery Rage of Veet. TW: Brief mentions of suicide. If you like The Worst Thing We Read , help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingw...
Jun 10, 2021•1 hr 6 min
42. Paranormalcy- Kiersten White
Welcome back everyone! This week, Evie is ready to take on the supernatural world with her pink bedazzled taser and her stiletto boots. The only thing she isn’t prepared for is Lend: the slippery paranormal boy who slides his way into Evie’s heart (and her surrogate mother’s skin). Featuring vampire slander, copyright questions, and some very questionable fairy management. (Seriously, everyone should be way more concerned about the fairies.) CW: Death Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Liv...
May 27, 2021•1 hr 11 min
41. Burned- Kristen & P.C. Cast
SEQUEL EPISODE: (5, 11, 17, 23, 29, 35) Better late than never? Welcome back to our longest running series to date, listeners. We’ve got fairies, we’ve got ghost children, we’ve got... really, really terrible accents. Zoey’s spirit is shattered, the Italy gang has a lot of thoughts on Barbies, and Stevie Rae is really getting into birds. CW: Murder, graphic violence Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in excha...
Apr 16, 2021•1 hr 10 min
40. Stalking Jack the Ripper- Kerri Maniscalco
Come along, listeners, as we solve the mystery of Jack the Ripper (and encounter the best ending to a book we’ve found thus far on the podcast)! Girlboss Audrey Rose is not afraid of dead bodies, serial killers, or hot guys who frequently mention drinking blood. Featuring some red flags to look for if you think your boyfriend might be a murderer/vampire/asshole, questionable comebacks, and the ghost of BBC Sherlock. CW: Murder, graphic violence Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matt...
Mar 18, 2021•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 40
39. Crossed- Ally Condie
SEQUEL EPISODE: (33) This book might not answer our biggest questions, like “What even is sorting,” or “Is Cassia a half-robot,” but it’s chock full of… other stuff. Like the reinvention of therapy, and a list of people who might be the Pilot. Spoiler alert: everyone is on that list. Including you. Congratulations, you’re now leading a rebellion against the robot government that tried to eradicate cancer by killing off all the sopranos. Good luck. CW: Death Thank you to anyone who donated to Bla...
Mar 04, 2021•1 hr 10 min
38. The Siren- Kiera Cass
Listeners, if you’ve been with us since the beginning, you know how near and dear the Selection series is to us. But what about the book that started it all? Kahlen is half Little Mermaid, half Criminal Minds bad guy, and all she wants is a break from her terrible, horrible life as a perfect immortal sea goddess. Enter Akinley, a teenage boy who likes baking and arson. Featuring: moral conundrums, bad ways to test if your girlfriend is indestructible, and how to get out of terrible dates. CW: Re...
Feb 18, 2021•1 hr 19 min
37. The Notebook- Nicholas Sparks
The worst book of all worst books has entered the ring, listeners! If you haven’t heard Savanah complaining about The Notebook, you might be new around here. To summarize, we’ve got toxic love tropes, old people sex, and the incredible, incredible hubris of N*cholas Sp*rks. Plus, sexy abstract painting and how to know when it’s time to let go of that guy you dated for two months in middle school. CW: Death Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never t...
Feb 04, 2021•50 min
36. Imagine Me- Tahereh Mafi
SEQUEL EPISODE: (6, 12, 18, 24, 30) Harry Potter who? In this final installment to one of our OG series, Juliette the horcrux and her evil mermaid sister attempt to save the day with The Power of Algorithms. Also included: fun interior design tips, evil bakers, and Warner’s strip tease of love. CW: Murder, violence, gore, body horror, brief references to sexual assault and child abuse Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us you...
Jan 21, 2021•1 hr 6 min
35. Tempted- Kristen & P.C. Cast
SEQUEL EPISODE: (5, 11, 17, 23, 29) Dearest listeners- thank you for your patience. Like 2021, we’re coming out swinging, and we’re so excited to share this year’s lineup with you! This week we return to your favorite sexy vampire school, where Zoey discovers the feng shui of Jesus, high literature Doctor Suess, and the sixth element: guns. Also, birdophilia takes on a new meaning, and we debate appropriate emotional support songs to sing when you’re cleaning up the trail of blood that leads to ...
Jan 07, 2021•1 hr 21 min
34. Attachments- Rainbow Rowell
For all you listeners who survived Friday the 13th: welcome back! Bundle up, grab something warm to drink, and join us for a love story made of mutual stalking and uncomfortable email threads. Also includes: shoulder biting with strangers AND free tickets to the Singles Garden! TW: Stalking, brief references to domestic abuse and eating disorders Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild...
Nov 19, 2020•1 hr 11 min
33. Matched- Ally Condie
Matched has been our most-requested episode to date, dear listeners: ask and you shall receive! Cassia has a mind like a steel trap and a penchant for following the rules. When an unanticipated love triangle disrupts her perfect dystopian life in Communist Utah, who will she choose? Xander, who likes Games, or Kai, who has eyes like everything bagels? TW: None Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in excha...
Oct 29, 2020•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 33
32. The Crown- Kiera Cass
SEQUEL: (Connected eps 2, 7, 14, 26) Welcome, Selection Nation, to the shocking conclusion of a series very near and dear to us. Don’t fear your hearts, listeners. Follow them. Let them inspire you to commit treason. (Just... so much treason.) Who’s ready for risky business in the palace? TW: Brief reference to child abuse Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. ...
Oct 15, 2020•1 hr 12 min
31. Midnight Sun- Stephanie Meyer
SEQUEL(?): (Connected eps 1, 8, 13, 19) A bit of a longer episode this week for our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! Woot woot! As you may know, our pal Steph has graced us with 658 pages of new (?) content, and we didn’t want to leave out anything important. Join us for this fun experiment in character assassination and angsty inner dialogue as Edward Melodramatic Cullen answers questions you never knew you had. TW: Brief reference to sexual assault, violence Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives...
Oct 01, 2020•1 hr 25 min
30. Defy Me- Tahereh Mafi
SEQUEL: (Previous eps 6, 12, 18, 24) Welcome back listeners! Have you been on the edge of your seat agonizing over the fate of Injured Brendan?! No? ...Who’s that, you say? It’s okay, we weren’t sure either. But this is a book of answers, so prepare yourselves for the biggest opening flex EVER, really creepy telepathic mermaids, and a love story that transcends time. (Seriously, please make it stop.) TW: Child abuse, murder, graphic violence Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives M...
Sep 24, 2020•1 hr 8 min
29. Hunted- Kristen & P.C. Cast
SEQUEL EP: (See 5, 11, 17, 23) Welcome listeners, to the horniest season of The Bachelor... no, wait, wrong series. This week in the House of Night: Kaitlyn sings a cursed song, nobody is a lesbian, and yeah maybe Zoey killed a man, but at least we’ve got Project Runway to keep us on the straight and narrow. Featuring surprise poetry and ravens who fuck. (TW: Sexual assault, racism.) Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your...
Sep 03, 2020•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 29
28. Milk and Honey- Rupi Kaur
Poetry. It moves us, it confuses us, and it reminds us that we should always check books for sexually explicit content before gifting them to children. This week we discuss Savanah's longtime nemesis (this book), Kaitlyn's publishing prowess, and a love poem gone wrong. Drama! Intrigue! Pawning your stalker off on your childhood friend! This episode has it all. TW: Brief references to sexual assault. Thank you to anyone who donated to BLM or Pride organizations! It’s never too late t...
Aug 20, 2020•1 hr
27. Ship It- Britta Lundin
Welcome back listeners! Kaitlyn and Savanah take a deep dive into the world of Tumblr, nostalgic CW shows, and their favorite fandoms. All the while, our main character Claire writes fanfiction with the dedication of an escalating serial killer. TW: Referenced homophobia, public outing. Thank you to anyone who donated to BLM or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by...
Aug 13, 2020•2 hr 32 min
26. The Heir- Kiera Cass
SEQUEL: (Previous eps 2, 7, 14) Welcome back Dystopian Bachelor Nation! In a shocking turn of events, Chris Evans will be your host this episode! He’ll be accompanying our most unlikeable protagonist yet (which is saying something) on her journey to find… well, a sense of humanity, hopefully. Featuring angry asparagus, the problem with musicians, and creepy things to say on dating apps. TW: Reference to sexual assault Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! ...
Jul 23, 2020•1 hr 4 min
25. The Kissing Booth- Beth Reekles
From the hellscape that brought you Cursed Child, we present: Sexist High Schoolers Wear Red Lipstick and Steal From Charity. This book pulls out ALL THE TROPES, and is… surprisingly lackluster? See if you can catch Kaitlyn’s epic math fail, because we sure didn’t! And stay tuned for the after-show notes to weigh in on gay urn-ing: no, that’s not a spelling error. TW: Sexism, reference to sexual assault Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too ...
Jul 09, 2020•52 min
24. Restore Me- Tahereh Mafi
SEQUEL: (Previous eps. 6, 12, 18) The nonsensical dystopian government to end all dystopias. Welcome back, y’all! This week family secrets are revealed, Juliette gets The Big Mad, and Warner's in the abyss dissolving in the acid of his own emotion. Why use diplomacy when you’ve got murder skin? TW: Violence, anxiety, depression, references to suicide, references to child abuse Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receip...
Jun 25, 2020•1 hr 9 min
23. Untamed- Kristen & P.C. Cast
SEQUEL: Welcome back listeners! What shenanigans have Gay Damien, Zoey, and her three boyfriends gotten up to now? Spoiler alert- it involves nuns, sexy murders, and Savanah’s fourth least favorite thing: birdophilia. Tune in for some truly wild mythology and some truly creepy monsters. TW: Referenced sexual assault, violent death scenes Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire ...
Jun 11, 2020•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 23
ANNOUNCEMENT
Hey y'all. In light of Pride month and the recent protests, we're doing things a bit differently this week. Donate any amount to an organization supporting racial justice or the LGBTQ+ community for a special bonus episode! The link below will take you to a secure website where your donation will be split between multiple community bail funds, racial justice organizers, and aid for LGBTQ+ individuals of color. Or choose an organization of your own! Just email us your receipt at worstthingweread@...
Jun 05, 2020•3 min
22. Finale- Stephanie Garber
SEQUEL: Hello fellow clowns, we’re finishing off the Caraval series with some wild reveals that will make us question everything we thought we knew. This week, Kaitlyn reveals her knowledge of sexy French words, Savanah shares some really uncomfortable Science, and we discuss the cons of sentient clothing. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worst...
May 28, 2020•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 22
21. After We Fell- Anna Todd
(CUT- 30:51) HEY YOU- yes you, lovely listener. Hello. This episode is a bit different. We still have a lot of fun: James Patterson is a ghost in a skin suit, Savanah really wants to wear a brown suit and sit on a fancy stool, and Kaitlyn tries to take Cursed Child out of the Void. But reading this book led to a Big Discussion AND some important announcements. We do go into some detail about abusive relationships and sexual assault scenes portrayed in the beginning of this book, so if you’d pref...
May 14, 2020•45 min•Ep. 20
BONUS- Cursed Child pt. II
Hello friends, it’s the super special BONUS quarantine episode! The world is on fire, so we could all use some extra Harry Potter . This is the dumping ground for everything we didn’t have time to cover in the main episode, so tune in for Snape/Dumbledore discourse, nostalgic murder, and a lot of suspicious hugging. TW: Death. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingw...
May 07, 2020•50 min•Ep. 19
20. Cursed Child- J.K. Rowling, Jack Thorne, and John Tiffany
Okay, so we’re cheating a bit and this one’s actually a screenplay. If you haven’t read the first seven Harry Potter books, what are you doing with your life?!? (Just kidding, we don’t judge. We do however discuss spoilers from the main series, so be warned.) Also on the table: Albus is Really Bad at making plans, Cedric is a balloon that just wants to fly, and all your favorite characters are one straw away from becoming a Death Eater. Were you wondering about the Trolley Witch? What about Vold...
Apr 30, 2020•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 19
19. Breaking Dawn- Stephenie Meyer
SEQUEL: Well folks, it’s the end of an era. Savanah is now a person who has read the entire Twilight series, and Kaitlyn is a person who can’t remember basic High School Musical lyrics. Join us for the creepy and decidedly un-sexy conclusion to Bella “Danger” Swan and Edward “Melodramatic” Cullen’s love story. If you thought the time-space continuum was twisted before, you ain't seen nothing yet. TW: Violence, death, references to abortion. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help u...
Apr 16, 2020•59 min•Ep. 18
18. Ignite Me- Tahereh Mafi
SEQUEL: Welcome to the third installment of Shatter Me: originally the finale, but it was too lame so now there’s a fourth book on the way. We’ve got some Grey’s Anatomy level soap opera going on. Will Adam and Warner find out that they’re brothers? Was Warner really a Nice Guy all along? Why does Tahereh Mafi hate Adam so much all of a sudden? Maybe the real bird was the psychopath we fell in love with along the way. TW: Child abuse, suicidal thoughts, mental illness, violence. If y...
Apr 02, 2020•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 17
17. Chosen- Kristen & P.C. Cast
SEQUEL: There might be a lack of toilet paper, but luckily we will never run out of bad vampire books to distract us from the pending apocalypse. This week ominous Christmas cards are delivered, Kaitlyn ruins the children’s cartoon Spirit, and Damien gays around gayly with his boyfriend (who is a boy). Also, Kaitlyn really, really, really wants everyone to know that she’s in self-quarantine. TW: Teacher/student relationship, violence, classism, implied homophobia, religious extremism. ...
Mar 19, 2020•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 16