Get everyone safe to say, it's been the week of weeks, absolutely hectic on all fronts, and I'm actually down in Tasmania at the moment filming a wellness TV show, Plass. I've spent a little bit of time in hospital, which I'll give you a bit more context around when we all catch up next week. But this week I just wanted to reshare one of my favorite episodes with doctor
Jodie Richardson, all about anxiety and our children. I think it's one of those things that was really top of mind coming out of COVID, but it's something we always need to keep tup of mind. I love this episode, so I thought i'd reshare it with you this week. Enjoy it if you haven't heard it. I'll be back next week in the studio to fill you in on everything that's been going on and have a great week.
So I'm very lucky to be sitting here today with doctor Jodie Richardson, who is a mum of two, a best selling author and I've got her two incredible books sitting here in front of me, a speaker and also hosts her own weekly podcast called Well Hello Anxiety, and we are here Jodie, welcome.
Thank you so much for having me.
I think I would be safe in saying that after the last two years that we have all endured across Australian across the world, the word anxiety is probably coming up a lot more than it used to.
So how has.
Lockdowns and uncertainty and all of this bad news that we've been navigating impact anxiety and what can we do to try and reduce our worries and anxiety?
Unpredictability is such a huge driver of anxiety and uncertainty because our brain registers threat and so the last two years understandably have been really stressful for families, for children, for professionals, it's been a really.
Difficult couple of years because there's so much that.
We don't know, And even going into the start of well start of February in twenty twenty two, they're still unknowns and there's still expectations placed upon us that are more ordinary for us in terms of rapid antigen testing and masks. But kids don't know if their teachers are always going to be there in their class if they get COVID and need to take some time off. Kids don't know if they're going to be exposed to COVID.
We as adults don't know if we're going to be homeschooling our kids again, if they are exposed at school, and that's going to bring another interruption into our lives.
It's just so much that we still don't know.
And lives never genuinely predictable anyway, But the last couple of years have certainly up and I think it's good for people to know that anxiety is a really normal human emotion. We all experience it, but it's when we get stuck that it's a problem.
So I'm so glad you said, first of all, it's normal.
I'm really glad too that you brought up kids, because I think most of our listeners were probably nodding along thinking of their own.
Situation over the last two years.
But you are actually an expert in kids anxiety as well as adults anxiety. So the two books that I've got sitting here in front of me are Anxious Mums, and your best seller, which doesn't surprise me at all, is Anxious Kids. Let's talk about the kids a little bit more, because I'm obviously a doting father of three soon to be four girls and probably at either end of the spectrum, my four year old and my sixteen
year old. From anxiety perspective, I've got one little girl who's heading off to kindergarten and another little girl who's starting her year eleven, which tends to be a very high pressure school year, and she's become quite disconnected over the last two years from that normal flow of prep for those two big years, and socially disconnected from all of our friends and really missing that social aspective thing.
So what should we be looking for as parents when it comes to anxiety with their children.
The number one thing is avoidance.
That when we feel anxious and uncomfortable about something, and when our kids feel anxious and uncertain, that avoidance often becomes very clear.
Very quickly.
I don't want to go, I don't want to separate, I don't want to do it. Getting back into school is going to be really hard. Some kids have really enjoyed being at home and having that predictable routine at home and not having the unpredictability of being in the social setting with kids at school, which can be really challenging for some kids, depending on where they are socially
and how they go at school. But other kids are feeling like getting back into school is something that they know is good for them, but they're just not used to it and it's the start of a new school year and more challenges. What's the workload going to be like in year eleven? How am I going to manage that with all of the other things that I'm doing? Am I going to be able to meet the expectations
that I have on myself? You know, for older kids and for little kids, it's for some of them it's their first proper time in the classroom without lockdown looming having been something they've experienced or something that they've got coming up. So when it comes to anxiety, a huge thing to look out for is that avoidance. And we know avoidance just amplifies anxiety. So it's something to help manage if you can.
So, yeah, So the first part is to identify these things and the second part is to how do you deal with it?
So I come from a family of tough love.
You know, if I went to school and had a crappy day, there would be no way. My mum was definitely more empathy and sensitive, I think, But then my mom passed away when I was fifteen, and that was a bit of a tough nut, but it was I wouldn't have had any option to not go back to school and face these things head on and now as a pair, And I wonder I think that was good for me.
I mean, and maybe you tell me I'm way off track here, but.
I am really grateful that my dad made me go back and face those things head on and not put my head in the sand and not run away from my problems and all these kind of things. I'm being a bit dramatic, but you know that's sort of what is. So what are you suggesting we do then without you? And when it comes to anxiety and this avoidance issue, do you.
I think your dad was on the right track.
Absolutely. I'm glad you said that, because I'm that's how I parent.
And I wonder if that's a conscious decision that I've made or just the apple not very far from the tree.
But I do think there's something even in my subconscious where I think I think I'm a strong person and I can actually I'm quite resilient and I can navigate problems well because my dad made me deal with them at the time, and I've learnt these skills over time, whereas if I just continued to avoid them and run away from them, I'd probably now be a bit of a fish out of water whenever I'm facing these curve balls.
Yeah, and we can work out how we manage that, whether or not it's sometimes we do what's called it a step ladder approach, which is, for a child that has been refusing to go to school, sending them back to school full time is going to be too much for the score of diusals.
Obviously really serious and very.
Difficult, but it's about like dipping your toe in the water, step by step by step and breaking down a big challenge into smaller parts and helping a child experience the first small step and then becoming accustomed to the discomfort that comes with maybe going and staying in the classroom for period one of the day and then coming home or spending some time in the library. So breaking it down but also really validating for kids how they feel.
Because when it's easier for us to say, don't worry about it, or there's nothing to stress about, or it will be okay, but when a child's feeling everything that comes with anxiety, which is all the physical sensations of racing heart, that edginess that we all know. Then being able to validate that for them is really powerful to say I know that this is hard. I'm not trying to say to you that this is not hard, but I also know that you can do it, and we
can work on this together. And so that gives that child that sense of hope and together with a pair working towards this big goal, so eventually, over time they can rise to that challenge and rise to other challenges that will no doubt come before them across their lives as well.
I've just had an a hum because I do both of those things really well with my four year old. I don't do the validation very worth my sixteen year old because I think there's something inside me that perhaps
unfairly says she's old enough. I can be a bit more direct, as in, I'll say to her, Mavie, this is it's life, you know, like sometimetimes you have tough days at school, you like, you know, I don't feel with her, I just kind of go, you know, you're just gonna have to suck this up and kind of face it, because that's that's las sweating and you know, it's if you don't face these things now, you're going to get into the workforce, and you can't just quit your job or not go back to work if someone
at work gives you a hard time, you know, like you feel like your job as a parent is of course they need to love you, but you're trying to prepare them for the big, wide, scary world out there once they leave home or whatever it is. And I'm a bit tough, and I feel like Snare's my wife is a bit the other way, and maybe I overcompensate a little bit.
I think Evy's going to thank you a lot chat one day.
I mean, I always says, I know he might be frustrated at me. Now, I just wanted to one day wake up when she's eighteen or nineteen or twenty three or whenever it is, and say, oh, thanks for being how you were when you were And I now actually get why you were how you were, even though at the time I thought you're a bit tough on me.
So that's actually really nice here.
So a lot of our listeners won't have children, and they will have also been experiencing anxiety, and we are obviously a fitness Wellness podcast, So I'd love to talk to you about the link between exercise and anxiety. I know you are a avid exerciser and a big fan of it, and I'd love to understand from you why you think exercise can be so beneficial and what your tips are around exercise and how it can help with anxiety instrest management.
Oh gosh, exercise is the most unbelievable prescription for anyone with anxiety. And one of the things to note about it is that it's the natural end to the fight or flight response. So when we become anxious, there's a part of our brain that's recognized a threat, and we might not consciously.
Detect that threat.
It could just be too many emails in area, and a fight or flight response is switched on and it's preparing our body to fight the threat or to run away from it. And when we are actually just sitting at our laptops or lying in bed, then we're not putting all of those changes in our body to good use. And so exercise is the natural end to the fight or flight response. So not only does it help to dissipate the cortisol and the adrenaline we release, so many
amazing neurotransmitters. There's endocannabinoids, which really give us a sense of hope and optimism. So when you exercise, you feel good, you feel uplifted. Some people get a real euphoric feeling, a real run is high.
I get that.
I feel amazing when I exercise, and it keeps me coming back for more. Others don't quite get that and say, well, maybe it's not for me. But what we know is it changes the brain. It increases resilience in the brain. Our brain releases it's called brain a derived neurotropic factor BDNF, which is like a miracle grow like a fertilizer for
our brain cells, so strengthening our neurons, strengthening connections. We also have another neurotransmitter released, which is called GABBA, and that is like putting on the brakes for the stress response. So there's all these amazing things going on in our brain. Also, one of the things about exercise is that it mimics
the anxiety response. So when we become anxious, our hearts rate, our breathing changes, we get tense, we perspire, and we feel those feelings and they make us feel tense and worried. We don't like it, and we want to do what we can to not feel like that because we don't like those feelings.
But when we do.
Exercise, we feel tense, our heart rate goes up, our breathing rate goes up, we perspire. And if we can reframe those sensations to be recognized as just merely feelings in the body and not have that story of anxiety around it, then exercise just develops this general resilience to that experience as well and helps us cope better.
It's interesting, isn't it, Because a lot of us think we should be going through life trying to avoid stress, whereas as an exercise scientist, you know that you're actually doing yourself a faibor putting your body under stress, adapting to that stress and growing and evolving and growing and growing and then handling the stress better and handling the
stress better. And stress is good. Yeah, I mean, stress is such a dirty word and a negative word in the way it's used typically in our language, but in fitness terms, stress is good. Does all exercise have those magic powers?
You know?
Would a light walk be as beneficial as a hard run or a hit session or a circuit where you're puffing and panting or is there a level here of the more stress I put myself under with a tougher workout, the better the benefits are.
Going to be.
Yeah, there's certainly an element to that, and as you and I both know, it's about people working their way up towards working really hard. And so I would say if you can get out, because the bonus of even going for a walk is you start to get some of those benefits. But if you're going outside, you're getting all the benefits of being in nature, which is so
calming for our nervous system. If you're doing it with someone else, you've got that opportunity to connect, and it gives you that accountability as well, So you've got those additional benefits. Because when when we look at happiness on the whole in our lives, it's our connections with other people and our relationships number one that bring us the most joy and meaning in our life. And so any exercise is good. And I always like to say to people, start,
start small, and build up. And I used to shy away a little bit from really encouraging people to increase the intensity. And you know, back when I was a PTE, I would ease people in probably a little bit over too long a period, Whereas, if you're safe and you've got the nod from your dock and you're ready to do it, build up under professional guidance like your twenty eight program, and don't be afraid of building up to
lifting heavy weights and to be working hard. I mean, I finish a cross fit and I kid you, not on my back, like just feeling like, oh my gosh, I can't believe my body just did that, and my heart is thumping out of my chest and I can't even speak, but I just feel such a sense of accomplishment. I feel strong, and I feel empowered. And so it's finding the exercise that's the best fit for you, I
think is the best advice, isn't it. And doing it as a group program connecting with other people and being a part of something also brings meaning to your life, and so you're going to be.
More likely to continue with it.
So it's just something I would love everybody to bring into part of their day.
But don't give up. If you've tried one thing and it wasn't.
The right fit for you, You've got to keep going and finding what works.
Oh my god, there's so many things there.
First of all, from an exercise science perspective, I love that you've said that, because I candidly think most people don't quite understand their bodies are capable of, you know, and they never they have gears that they don't even know they exist. Something I do want to talk to you about from a parenting perspective is pressure that parents put on themselves, the guilt that parents have. We've actually got a question from Sonya just about this topic, and she is asking about mum guilt.
Maybe we take a question from Sonya.
I've regained about seven to eight kilos and I'm trying to walk every day. I still try and eat healthy. I'm just lost. I guess how do I regain my focus? How do I, I guess, not feel guilty about putting myself first?
Again, that's a big question. I must have this question all the time.
Yes, Sonya, it's really it's so common for mums in particular to feel guilty, especially if we've got young children and we're starting to do the things that we might have once done before we were before we were parents. And one of the things I like to say to you Sonia and anyone else who experiences this is the idea that it's really natural to feel all feelings, and that if you feeling guilty, it means that you care, means that you care about your child. It means that
you care about what's important for you. And I would say to you, don't wait till you don't feel guilty to do what's really important. I remember when I was a new mum, I thought a good mum using air quotes because you can see this sort of podcast, I thought a good mum spent pretty much every waking minute with their infant. And I was just absolutely ruining myself
and I wasn't back into exercise. And when I really rediscovered my values and recognized that my mental health was not good story for another time, exercise was something that was missing. I found it really hard to go back to the gym and hand over my newborn to a stranger in the gym and do my workout, and I
felt terribly guilty. But what I realized was that the way that I felt after doing the exercise was preparing me and building my resilience and filling my cup to be a better parent, to be more present when I was back with him. And also what I found over the years is me filling my own cup and still being an individual as well as a parent, has role
modeled for my kids in the most extraordinary ways. And whilst I did a crossfeit work out on Monday, our son who's thirteen, went for his run and then he joined me at the CrossFit box and just sort of cheered everyone on and hung out with us. And I can see that my doing the things that have been important to me have really role modeled healthy behaviors and
self care for my kids. And so, Sonia, i'd encourage you to think about when you are taking care of yourself, you're showing your kids also what it is that they can do to look after themselves, because if you give everything away to everyone else, then that's what you're teaching them as well. So all feelings are okay. Acknowledge that you feel guilty, but think about what's important to you
and take steps to do that. Know that in doing that you're actually setting a fine example for your children as well.
I love that role modeling bit. That's something I hadn't thought of before. That's the icing on the cake, isn't it. I can't add anything else to that. I think that's absolutely spot on, and I hope that helped Sonya. We talk about anxiety, and we talk about reducing stress. What it really comes down to is how do we find happiness? You know, that's really what you help people do a bit of a question without notice and quite a general question,
but what are your top three or top five? You can have as many as you like gifts on finding happiness that you can kind of leave our listeners with.
Well, what I would say first and foremost is to know that it's not actually natural to be.
Happy all the time.
Yeah, that's good, and.
That, like you say, we do the things that we do, we do the work we do, we like to look the way we do, we dress the way we do, we do the exercise we do, because we're always looking to feel good. And I think we were raised. I know I certainly was as a gen X, a raised to sort of think that, well, if you're not happy, there must be something wrong because everyone else looks happy.
And you mentioned Instagram before, and we know that we look at the highlights of people's lives and we certainly don't want people to be processing really raw emotions in front of us, either on Instagram, but we do look around and we think other people have got it figured out better than we have, or got their ducks in
a row more than we have. And one of the really powerful things I think with regards to happiness is to know that yes, it's beautiful to feel happy and it's amazing, but it's not natural to feel happy all the time, and that if you don't feel happy, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. One of the things that we know contributes great bit of happiness, as I mentioned earlier, are our connections and so you know, there's a great article called scratch a Happy Adult and find a socially
Connected Child. And what that means is, you know, for our kids to have lots of friends, for us to have friends in different domains of our life as well, and to have rich relationships and put time into those, being mindful when we can, because our brain very naturally go to the past and also to the future, and of course, really we only have this moment, and so much of what we worry about when we have future thinking detracts from what we can experience, and amazing research
shows us that even if we're looking forward to something fun and exciting. We are less happy doing that than we are when we're focused in the present moment. So if I was to number my tips, I would say no, that it's not natural to be happy all the time. Know that everyone around you has the ups and downs in life that you do as well.
It's really normal.
Know that if you can experience whatever you feel when it comes up and have compassion for yourself, feelings have to flow through us. That connections are the number one contributed to our happiness, and exercise has got to be in their mindfulness is really powerful as well.
And living a life with a.
Sense of meaning and purpose, which may be a conversation for another day, but living with your values, knowing what's important and then taking steps in that direction. And I know that your twenty eight is really value their health and their fitness and the mental health and their physiological health, and knowing that if you value that, and that if there's a day where you might have taken action that's against that value, that that's okay because we're all human.
And knowing that that's your value, you pick up where you left off and you revisit that value of health and fitness in the future.
Decisions that you.
Make over the day, and being kind to yourself if you do find that you fall off the wagon, so to speak, so lots of self compassion.
There are so many wonderful tips right there, and we will absolutely get you back on to talk about finding your purpose and following your purpose.
Jodie, thank you so so.
Much, and I can't wait to hear what our listeners have to say about the tips that you've given, and I'm sure they will come back to us with a myriad of questions based on the tips that you've given. Anyone out there that would like to get their hands on one of your books, I'm going to give you a plug. You haven't asked me too, But they're sitting right in front of me and they look absolutely amazing. They are old, anxious mums and funnily enough, anxious kids
and it is doctor Jody Richardson. Check them out if you or your children could benefit from any of these wonderful tips, and we'll see you again soon.
Thanks so much.
Thanks having me, Sam.
If you're listening at home and any of this is resonating with you, I want you to try these tips that Jodi suggested. Don't just listen to Jodi sit there and nod. It's about practically applying these things and feeling the benefits, because I promise you they will help. Next, I'm going to share some of our health of fitness wins and something positive that happened to me recently. The most rewarding part of what I do, always has been, always will be is hearing people's little wins.
And it's not just the.
Things that perhaps jump into your mind straight away. Of course, it's I ran my first five k or even ran my first five hundred meters, or I'd drop the dress size or lost five kilos, or for the first time ever, I was able to say no to my friends at a Friday night and have an.
Alcohol free weekend.
All of this stuff is absolutely incredible and should always be celebrated. But every now and then you get someone come up to you and they share their story and it really touches me. And I was lucky enough last week to meet a lady who has been on my program for a little while, and she came up to me and her story was a little bit different, and she said, Sam, I've been on your program for four months now and for the first time in fifteen years, I have stopped taking my anxiety medication, and.
That was advised by her doctor.
Her doctor had said to her, I think you're in the best place you've been that I've ever seen you for as long as we've been working together, and I want you to try and wean yourself off the medication to the point that you no longer take it, and we're just going to see what happens. Is She's now been doing that for a few weeks, and she says she still feels fantastic now.
I'm not advocating that a little.
Walk on the treadmill and a healthy sandwich is a solution to all mental illness. I would never suggest that. I know there are occasions where medication is the right and the only solution for people. But when someone comes up to me and shares a story like this, and you can see that they've taken control of their physical health and their diet and their sleep and their mindfulness, and it is having such a positive impact, not just on their physical health, but on their mental health and
their life. That's what makes this job so worthwhile. It's really important to celebrate the little winds, because getting in shape can be a long, lonely, slow process. At times, if you celebrate the little winds along the way, and that might be a pat on the back, It might be just a little moment where you reflect back on how fa you've already come and encourag did you keep going? It might be you buy yourself a little gift or reward yourself in some way to keep you going and
make that journey more enjoyable. Really, you're just more likely to get there because you've broken that big win into a whole little little wins and it's just going to help propel you along. And this is why we like it when our Woodlife listeners share their little wins along the journey.
My fitness win for the week would definitely be finally beating my mate Tom in tennis. We play every week. I've played him for the past three months or so, He's beaten me every time. Finally got him seven five six to top that back injury for two years which prevented me from walkee And today was the fast time that I was able to go on a half.
An hour walk and not have to sit down. I will take a break. Today I actually went for a run for the first time in over a year.
Every year, I tell myself, I'm going to put a side time to start going to the gym. Of course, when it gets down to the nitty gritty the kids go back to school, it is nearly impossible to stick to. But this year I have so far gone three and a half weeks consistently going, and I feel like I'm going.
To keep it up. So isn't that interesting.
Some of them are emotional, some of them are psychological, some of them are just physical. But it's powerful to first or reflect and identify those little wins along the journey, and then it's just as.
Powerful to share them.
So if you're listening and you're on your own journey, make sure you don't compare yourself to others, because remember, it's you versus you, and it doesn't matter if someone's out there running a marathon. If your goal is to get around the block, that is your little win, make sure you recognize it, make sure you share it, and of course, if you want to share it with us, there's always a link in the show notes, and we'd love to hear from you.
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