You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks Being Gone.
He's welcome back. This is the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beverage. And by the way, if you've missed any of the previous hours you want to go check him out, go look for the week In Collective where podcasts I suggest iHeartRadio. But this is the Parents Squad. We want your calls one ten eighty in text on nine two nine two. And my guest today is Google Sutherland, who sort of needs no introduction, but he is. How do we bill you?
Was going to get this right? At Google? You're a psychologist with the umbrella.
The umbrella group, Umbrella Wellbeing.
That's the one umbrella wellbeing? And how are you keep on?
I'm exhausted today. I've been manning the White Elephants Stall at the Saint Michael's Church here in Kelbourne, and I've been blogging off things that nobody really need, all for a good cause.
Really, the White Elephants what do they call it, the White Elephant Stall.
I don't know where that name comes from, but it's selling off all those things that you know, nobody else really wants, like you know, an electric knife, and a lower and you know, an old an old chilibin. But you know it's good fun.
But all you sold them, so obviously it's not completely useless because people there's always a buyer, isn't there.
Well, well, people don't know they need these things until they approach our stool, you see, and then that's when you see those things and you go, gosh, I'd really like not only one electric knife, but two electric knives would be the thing for me.
Did you sell to electric knives today?
I sold two electric knives draws at the same person, which was quite unusual.
Actually, the electric knife that's very nineteen nineties, isn't it.
It is.
I think we've got one in the drawer. So I think every New Zealand household has probably got one some hidden away in a drawer somewhere that they haven't usual when.
They're working, they're quite good and ours, basically we just burnt it out and threw it away and just bought a good old fashioned knife.
Away as fun. Isn't an electrical equipment like that? It's always good fun to use if you can get it going.
Yeah.
Actually, if this wasn't the parents Squad, I'd be immediately transitioning to eight hundred and eighty ten eighty what is the most useless appliance you've ever bought or outdated? But we're not going to do that right now. You always text me if you want just for fun. Actually, what we want to talk about today is something that I'm looking It came out of just a conversation I've had with other parents, and my wife and I are anticipating
this as well. Is because it's easy to look at arrenteing when your children are not near that age where it's really an issue, and you look at it, it's body image issues and pear pressure and issues that can lead to serious problems such as anorexia or beliema and things like that, and body issued. When you are a parent with where you're several years away from that becoming that, you always think, oh, we cross that, but you'll need
to come to it. But we're getting to the age with twelve and thirteen year olds where I've had conversations with other parents quick where their child has raised a question about their own body image or they've simply made an observation like oh, you know, I'm my tummy's getting bigger, or I'm getting this, and I suddenly realized I had to chat with my wife about it. How are we going to handle these moments because you want to acknowledge reality that your kids get it growing up, that their
you know, their body shapes will change. And yet I'm I must admit that now it's getting close to that time where I'm going to have to feel questions. I want to be prepared for it that I don't say the wrong thing. Well, of course, it's natural that you're going to get you know, say, for instance, somebody said my tummy's getting a bit bigger or something, and I go, well,
that's natural, honey. I'm terrified that I've just said something I shouldn't say, And I'm just wondering, how do you navigate those things where, you know, in the world of Instagram and everyone's perfect in Facebook, I'm nervous about handling those questions where one of my daughters says that she's not happy with the way she is.
And I think it's such a common thing that parents are rightly worried about. You know, We've got this whole thing at the moment around body image and what we look like and comparing ourselves to other people. In terms of how we look. I think my thoughts is that it's good to sort of dig into those questions. You know, if somebody says, my tummy's but burgle, this is a bit changed Steve. If you can spend some time and say, oh,
you know, what's how do you feel about that? They could be simply making an observation.
Or are they looking for me to say no, it's not. See instantly, I'm like, as soon as you say, well, how do you feel about that, They're like, you mean you agree with me? So I'm petrified of the conversation full stop.
I think I think parents are rightly worried about this area. I would say too that I think very it would be a very rare circumstance where appearance says one thing and it has a massive impact on their children's life for the rest of their life. Okay, So, and I think that's true across almost all areas of I can that I can think of. We will often say occasional throwaway comments or not a throwaway comments, occasional comments, and usually one comment is not going to have a huge effect.
I think it's more the ongoing sort of culture or focus in the family and in the environment that a child lives and will have a much bigger, longer lasting effect. But I definitely think it's worth probing a little bit deeper when when those sorts of questions come up, because you know, as you as you mentioned before, it's it's it's a very well, it's entirely normal that people's bodies change, you know, young people's bodies changes they hit puberty. It's
it's what we expect to happen. And I think don't be afraid of having the conversation. It might be an uncomfortable conversation, but don't be afraid of having it and trying to you know, really, what we're trying to do is introduce some normality to the conversation. Yes, change is normal, and and really trying to get across the idea that you know, it's okay whoever you are, really and it's okay whatever shape you are, and let's perhaps notocus hugely
on that. But I also think that the conversations, the rest of the conversations that happen in the family for
the rest of the time are also crucially important. Do your kids, not you personally, tim but you know, do kids overhear their parents talking about the parents' body image, or I'm looking a bit overweight or I'm feeling a bit weight, or are they being exposed to older siblings or parents who are constantly dieting, And that's possibly going to have much more of a lasting impact on a child's perception of themselves and their body than a single question or a single answer from a parent.
You've just reminded me because last night one of my daughters is I give them a hug good night before I get a bit before they go to sleep, sort of thing. She said to me. She did, Dad, you're looking a lot slimmer right now. And because I was like oh, and I wasn't sure how overjoyed I should sound like, oh hooray, I sort of was like, oh do I, I said, I don't know why that would be. I said, oh, well, I'm you know, I'm trying not to have so much chocolate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting, isn't it. How quickly we sort of even implicitly kind of say, you know, link the fact that somebody's called a slim or we've lost weight to that being a good thing, or that we feel a bit fat to that being a bad thing. And wouldn't it be great if we could just sort of extract those two from each other, so you know your body shape and west doesn't have to reflect. It doesn't have to
be a good thing or a bad thing. It's just a thing, really, and trying to take away the value judgments from that, I think is really really helpful, if that's possible.
I try to reflect on when I was growing up. I mean, look, I'm family and boys, I'm not sure if we're worried about how we I'm sure we did in fact, but I don't. Obviously, my mum and my dad never seem to ever ever talk about you losing weight or anything. I think mum might have done weight watches at one stage. We never gave it a second thought, but we never ever heard them angsting if that's a word about and I think that's probably quite important, isn't it.
If mum's constantly complaining about the way she looks and is constantly on this diet or that diet because she's not happy, then is that something that's going to rub off on kids in a way.
I think that's going to be much more likely than an occasional answer to a question, yes, absolutely. Look, I think things have changed too since perhaps our time. I think when you know, when we're younger, were growing up in teens, especially for boys, there was much less emphasis on body image and looks for boys now and that has changed in the last ten or fifteen so years. There has been a much bigger increase around you know,
body image or young men and for boys as well. Unfortunately, it's always been there for women, and you know, society is always judge women by how they look. But you're right, it's those conversations if somebody in the family doesn't matter if it's male or female, but if somebody and the family is constantly dieting and focusing on weight and how they look, and oh gosh, it's a great thing. You know,
I can celebrate now I've lost weight. That you think about the message that that is sending your kids, especially as they grow up and they hit puberty, when their bodies will definitely change and they will at times be uncomfortable with their bodies. You know that I think just normalizing it and that that change is fine, it's normal, and trying to take away this idea that actually being
slim is really good. And I can hear the counterargument already people will be saying, yeah, but you know, we don't want them to being obese and overweight, and and of course we don't. But you know that we're not talking about going to that extreme either. We're just talking about, Hey, think about the culture and the way that you think
about food and dieting in your family. Just generally, it's probably a good time to stop and think, as kids are coming into teenage years about how do we talk about weight image in our house.
Actually, intuitively, it absolutely makes sense that this is a problem that's going to start affecting boys as well. Just all you needed. The reason I'm moral that sort of rings a bell with me is I was looking at some old retro ads as to what a well muscled man was in the seventies and eighties, and by today's standards, they were pretty dweeby, you know, Yeah, a hint of a six pack that was, you know, you were the new Peter Stuyvesant guy or whatever it was advertising cigarettes.
Yeah, absolutely, I think that has been a huge change, and certainly rates of eating disorders amongst males have increased over the past ten to fifteen years. Remembering too, though, it is worth remembering that the eating disorders are still although they're very severe when you have them, they're still relatively rare. They're not there's not a huge proportion of
the population has an eating disorder. Okay, but we don't want to push nor do you want to say things that are going to push kids towards that.
Okay, well, look, we're going to take your calls on this too. How do you navigate those years when your kids are starting to be more conscious of their own body image and having conversations with them where well, at the very least you don't contribute to the problem, and maybe you help your kids navigate that stuff without them ending up with some sort of body what is it, dysmorphia, all that sort of stuff and eating disorders. Let's take some calls on that because we're keen to know if
you've actually managed to successfully navigate those waters as well. Jeff, get how on a second, let me just click that button again several weeks Jeff, Hello.
Hello button. I raise two boys all on my own. Okay. Now, from the time they started growing up, I didn't give them a chance too much chance to get bored or sit down there and feel sorry for themselves or what I look like or what I don't look like. Now, when as the boys were getting a bit older, I turned around and I got them into organizations. Now, both my boys, I got them into soccer now, and it was they had soccer on a on a Saturday morning,
and I was also coaching soccer in towern as well. Now, So they were up on the Saturday morning and away we went. And when they came home it was shower and get changed and all that. But they had a great day. They seemed to really enjoy it. So in the summertime, even after work, but they were looking at a bit down and out. I'd say to them, come on, let's go. We're down the beach. Let's go for.
Uswim You just you just get them busy and active.
Yeah. I just kept them busy and and I just found that this was working. They were good thinkers. I used to say them if they were rude to somebody, I'd say, hey, knock it off. You don't talk to people like that, okay, or you're not going to get anywhere in life. Now. As the boys got a little bit older and older, my older son joined cubs and my other other son was still played. My younger one
still played soccer now. So when Adam got into the cubs and on all that sort of the keys Cubs and goodness knows what out and going out the next scene, I could see the differ someone how was great And so I've got I just kept the boys busy, you know, like if the lawns needed mind to cut down one of those guys.
Money. So I mean, guess keeping your busy is not busy active in and you know makes sense, doesn't it? Injurity. I'm not sure if Jeff's kids would have grown up with social media. I'm guessing possibly not. That might be the one complicating flying the ointment.
There there is some wisdom I think of what Jeff was saying around, you know, especially at teens. I'm a really big fan of keeping teens, you know, getting them involved and active and activities and groups and organizations where that will take up their time and get them interested in things. I often think for teenagers, what is it, you know, idle hands of the devil's work for all sorts of all sorts of things, but you know, keeping them in bold to make.
The devil's work. That's a biblical But I mean there is something to that with kids. I guess, well, I mean, my girls are very busy and we haven't had those conversations yet. I'm sort of getting ahead of the game. But I guess that's not necessarily the total antidote to it. But certainly kids feeling busy and just being active all the time is always going to be good for just their general sense of well being. Does that help stave off those sort of naval gazing moments of dissatisfaction?
Well, there's less time to do it, perhaps, as Jeff was implying, but recognizing that adolescents of the time, when you do, you do naturally become much more focused on what your peers think and what others think. But being involved with other teens are who are doing pro social, positive things is a really good thing. Did you have.
Any you look back when you were a teenager? Did you have any things that you would dissatisfy with yourself about? Because I can't remember now. I'm sure. I'm sure there are a few things, but.
Yeah, I can. I can remember spending long time looking in the mirror at my skin worrying about acne. Oh that's and I can remember that, and and that's not an unusual thing for an adolescents. A lot of that sort of time looking at yourself in the mirror, comparing yourself. You're trying to imagine what you should you really want to look like, And of course you forget that. You'll you get very very very very familiar with your face and hear and look, and much more familiar than anybody else.
So you notice a tiny here out of place that nobody else really looks at. But that isn't. That isn't. That's a natural sort of thing in adolescence, and there is that focus on ourselves and comparing us to our peer group. So the more that we can do to reduce that, the better, I think.
Gosh, actually, the peer group was probably the problem. When I was growing up, one boy had a bit of problem with acting on us back and people said that we used to get tea springing a back that looked like a pizza. I forgot. People are crawl.
Twitch teenagers have some tear I can recalling people pizza face.
It was just I mean, I'm made it laughing because here we are, as grown ups looking back on how terribly we behaved.
No, it's slightly embarrassing.
Isn't it anyway. We'll be back in just a moment, though. How do you navigate those moments where you where you are worried that your teenagers? I think the question is probably about losing perspective about natural changes in their bodies and all that sort of stuff. How do you navigate that so that they can just get through it in a way that we all got through it hopefully. O eight hundred eighty twenty five past five. We'll be back with Jane and Matthew in just a moment, and welcome back.
This is the Parents Squad. I'm Tim Beverage. My guest is Google Sutherland. He is the CEO of Umbrella Well Being and he's also a psychologist. And we're talking about how do you navigate those difficult moments where your kids start to question the way they are built, made, the way they look, they wait, all that sort of stuff. How do you have those conversations and make them feel okay about themselves? Are actually about making it worse? Because
that's my fear when the time comes. Jane, Hello, oh hi.
Thanks for taking my call. Look, I've been listening to your conversation and getting more and more uptight. I am a mother of a twenty two year old girl who has been suffering from anorexia since the age of fifteen, and I just feel like I want to tell those other parents out there who have children who do have eating disorders. It's not a simple thing of being able to stare them in the right direction through the tough
times around food and around comments. A lot of it is, A lot of it is from other areas in their life.
Now.
My daughter's experience was she was bullied terribly at the age of fifteen at school.
No one listened to her.
And she got in a really bad state. Her control was being able to put her way of getting through this was being able to control what she ate or in her case, didn't eat, and it became it was a big She's still she's twenty two, and she's still really very much in the realms of anorexia. I have given up work and I'm supporting her, but I think what I want to say one comment you made was that it's not just one comment that someone can say
that can change their way. Actually it is. And my daughter can tell you the one thing that actually the one thing that someone said about what she was eating that brought anorexia on and of course she had lots of other things going on her life, as have all the young children these days. And the whole eating disorder side of things is huge, and you comment that it's not big. It is massive, but people don't acknowledge it.
In New Zealand it has got one of the highest rates of anorexia and children as young as six semen eight.
Okay, doggle Yeah, and look, Jane, it's it's really you know, my heart goes out to your supporting somebody. You know your daughter was an eating disorder. It must have been incredibly and it must sounds like it's still incredibly incredibly hard.
And as I think, as you rightly point out, there's lots of factors that contribute to somebody developing and eating disorder, and obviously your daughter it was you know, there was perhaps the straw that broke the camel's back was was was a comment that somebody made to and that's and
that's devastating. But I guess my point was that for parents, perhaps the answering a question isn't isn't in and of itself without those other background factors, is not necessarily going to lead to that, but you know, and not wanting at all to underplay how serious eating disorders are. They're an incredibly serious and and really debilitating and it sometimes sometimes even deadly disorder, and would never want to minimize that.
Yeah, I think I think what I took from were listening to Google is that if you are a loving parent, you're not going to with one comment destroy your child, whereas there will obviously times when there may be one comment, as Google said that there's a straw that breaks the camel's back. Is that a better way of putting it? Do you think?
I think so, and I think it's it's not necessarily. I know your way of approaching this tonight is about the family, and that's really important, but I think perhaps something that needs to be exaggerated more is the amount of stress our kids are under these days. And you may be doing everything right, but there may be something else out there and they need that control, and you know, statistics show it. You know that the eating disorders are there. Now,
I also know that it's genetic. It's been proven that it's genetic, and so you know, there is an element of guilt in myself not that I have an eating disorder. But then after listening to your court or your conversation, I thought I have to ring up because other parents might be listening and feeling the same kinds built and I don't think it needs to all be on that.
Yeah.
I think the other thing is probably in terms of the way we're trying to present this. I think when you're saying, when we're addressing the ways to handle these conversations for parents, it's certainly not meant to imply that if your child does end up having a problem, then
it's the parent's fault. That's certainly not what correct. What we're about, what we're simply doing is how do we as parents navigate the conversation as best we can, even though there may be other factors like peer pressure and all sorts of other things that create a problem. So I think it's worth me trying to just hopefully that makes sense to you that it's not really about saying you must do this otherwise you're the cause of the problem.
Yeah, No, totally, totally I do get that.
Yeah, well, thank you. No, I think that's good. Great that you've called Jane, so we can sort of thrash that out of bit further Thank you so much and all the best for everything you're dealing with.
Thank you so much.
There we go, Thanks Jane. I mean it is it's difficult to have these conversations when you because there always is this implication that this is what parents should do and this is how we should handle it. But we're not saying that if you don't therefore blah blah blah.
I think one thing that struck me with Jane's cause too, was that level of guilt that parents can feel in these situations when somebody has, you know, a child has developed and eating problem. Is that often parents can feel
a tremendous amount of guilt. And as Jane, I think, really since she said, hey, look at it wasn't actually anything to do with us, there was heaps going on in our teens' lives, but you know, we don't want it as parents contribute to an environment that encourages that sort of difficult eating behavior or over emphasis on way or image.
Yeah, it's funny, it's actually I was just reflecting right now on really what I think the value of having ours like this is is that also it gets the chance for parents to just don't know, people who are listening as well to head call us like Jane, and it helps that sense of solidarity with every parent who's listening. You're not alone with all the emotions you're feeling about this stuff.
Absolutely.
Yeah, right, let's take let's go, Let's go to another call Matthew.
Hello, Yeah, Hi there guys. Now, look, I'm just listening to the common station and I'm just I'm incredibly proud of my son. He doesn't have an eating disorder, but he is dyspractic, dyslexic, and on the autistic spectrum, and so in that he he obsesses over a lot of things. But I'm very proud of him and the fact that when he was at intermediate he got incredibly bullied and that didn't lead to it, but what that has done is it's made him very aware of other people's disabilities
and eating disorders. And through his high school years he had quite a few friends that did have eating disorders and he really got on board and helped them. He's into cycling, so he encouraged them to get into cycling and you know, and that sort of thing. So he's
really supported people along the way. So maybe it's it's a bit hard to say that that you know, it's the parents, but it is hopefully some these people with deceaving kids with it they're eating disorders that they get now a friend that will guide them and help them along that doesn't judge them on.
That really important.
And I think the link Jans James call and Matthew's call really is that influence of peers, isn't it and around you know how the people around you your age can have a massive influence as well as parents.
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
Matt And yeah, it's very sad when when when kids don't have peers that help them. And I'm just incredibly proud of my son and he's gone on to do great, great things and his sporting things and now he's in and just going on to the guy who was before, I would say as a parent, yeah, getting kids involved in sport is great, but if they can get them involved in the in the organization side of it. Like when my son was thirty and he decided he wanted
to do downhill mountain biking. When we went along to the local club and I said, Max, clubs don't run themselves. So at thirteen he and I joined onto the committee and he spent twelve years on the committee organizing all the races from thirteen he would set the courses. That's also out there on the night before, which has then gone on and he's now on the mountain White New
Zealand accipt it. Oh yeah, he has made a huge amount of friends through that, And I would just say to any parents, yep, get them involved in sports, but also get involved in organizing it.
Well, that's probably also great for her self. Esteemed to be making that contribution. Thanks Matthew, I really appreciate your cool. I'm just going to quickly read this text, but them, we'll take the break. Survivor of disordered eating here, My most important lesson for parents is to demonstrate body acceptance
for themselves. My mother was of the generation outwardly vocally hated her body, hating her body, so even if she said I was beautiful, slim, whatever, when my body changed, A huge part of my eating disorder roots was my parents' lack of demonstrating on modeling body acceptance in their own bodies. If you can model that for your children, that's huge. Also, create an environment where kids can talk to their parents vulnerably, vulnerabily.
Couldn't have said it better that's such a great text, and I think that that just sort of goes to the heart of what we've been trying to say. I think, isn't it it's around Actually, it's not just what we say to our kids, it's how we behave around them. And I think, particularly going back to your situation, Tim, it's before your kids are an adolescence, when family and parents still have that big influence, is the time that
you really want to get this right. Because once they go into adolescence, years takeover and same age kids, you know, they become the big influence and we lose a lot of our influence over kids. So trying to get that right when they're younger is a great thing.
Right, We're going to take a quick moment. We'll be back in just to Ticlarly. We've got some calls lined up talking about how do you navigate those difficult decisions around your children when their bodies are changing and all that sort of stuff. Eight hundred eighty, ten eighty it's ten minutes to six News Talks. He'd be Y's Welcome back to the Parents Squad. I'mton Beverage. My guest is
Google Google Sutherland. He is the CEO of Umbrella, well being, what's the website addressed for you there?
Google?
The website is Umbrella dot org dot m Z.
Excellent. Right, we're talking about navigating those changes in your teenagers, and you know, hopefully helping them navigate things without developing an undue focus or neuroses about their own body image, et cetera. I'm struggling, so you can see I'm pussy footing around the worm even trying to describe the problem Google that I'm you know that it is. It's a tricky, tricky topic. So let's take some more course. Robin.
Hello, Hi, I wasn't rung erring. But then Roscot, actually, as much as I have a we negative story with this, he's also some quick still positives as well. So I'm fifty four now. In eight years old, I was put on a protein diet shape because I was fat, apparently, and so because compared to my older sister by a couple of years, she was incredibly slight and I wasn't. And that taught me from that age that if I lost weight, I was a good girl, and if I
gain weight, I was a bad girl. And so in a bit of trauma and some pretty big life things. And I have done the anorexa and I still suffer, not so much with the blimia. Lo Like I've worked incredibly hard to get to where I am today, But food that's still my go to, if you get what I mean. And it's really changed, you know that self how I saw myself. But in that there's two sort of real positives. Supposed one of them is sometimes this
issue with your children and weight and things. And this wasn't the case in mind, but some parents and in especially women have been bullied themselves about weight, and so they are so incredibly terrified that their children will be the same that their normal, healthy, chubby little children. But you know that we all go through those stages. They can actually cause eating disorders because they're so panicked about their child gaining weight that they get you know, it's
come from us. And I look after I clean and
garden for people and the family homes. And I saw the most incredible thing a couple of years ago, so mom and dad, six year old little boy, eight year old little girl, and Mama just she talked to me and she just sort of noticed, especially over the Christmas break, and that those sort of high sugar, those foods that you know are our sometimes foods we're really becoming the big thing, you know, and sneaking in And I think she saw her putting sugar and water in a glass
and decided, ah, no, this is getting instead of I suppose berating her. Or they sat down as a family, Mum and dad, the little boy, the little girl, and said, hey, we've noticed over the holidays we're not eating a lot of healthy food, you know, and how about we cut back on that a bit. It's all right for us to have that food, but we've been having it all the time, you know, and so you know, and I know that's sort of slightly different to how we see ourselves.
But I think, you know, sometimes there could be asue with what we're eating that has caused us to, you know, have maybe an unhealthy weight name that can be solved so easily. But on the other side, not even to our children, because our children will hear this. In our general conversation with other human beings, we see someone, oh my gosh, you've lost so much weight. Oh my gosh, that's so good, and you look so good. Gosh, that
makes you look good. Oh gosh, that colors so you know, it's so flattering or my whole world became food and how I saw myself. And you know, I'm very fortunate that I've had an incredibly amazing psychologist and I've got a lot of coping skills. But you yeah, that's a.
Really good thing.
That's really good good advice, Robin, in terms of the way to address those stuff. If you you know, how do we as opposed to, Hey, look you've had too much sugar, No wonder you've packed it.
It's a great it's a great, a really great piece of advice I think, you know from Robin, and you know, just wanting to acknowledge Robin and I think Jane a couple of calls before, who had the daughter with ANX, just the bravery that it takes to bring up the national radio station and your story out there, and and
what great lessons from both of them. I really love that that you know from Robin about saying, hey, let's not let's just talk about healthy eating if we've noticed that our family eating patterns have slipped a bit, because let's face it, parents are the one that are buying
the food in the house. So so but I love the way that She framed that about just having a conversation about let's let's perhaps change how we eat as a family so that we're healthier, rather than anything to do with Wait, all.
Right, we've got time to squeeze in one more call, but Lee, we'll have to be quick. So when I got about a minute, but Lee, Hello, Hi, I'm.
A long time listener. I yeah. I was raised in the family. My mum was overweighted and she was always on a diet. He died. That was going back in the seventies eighties, and my oldest sister I had a poor body of miss was just anxious, sad, but she wasn't. And I grew up probably from about eight I had a very poor body image and would try my mother's diet.
From about the age of nine or ten, I was bodied at school about being or fat, and so from seventeen I developed and needing disorder and bolivia and I never got any help. I was so very shamed about it.
Hi, it's not.
My family is also very ashamed of me too. But also I went on to have two children. My daughter had twelve develop.
Donna Exinger, how did you deal with that?
Then?
The absolute guilt I felt was horrible. I had many family members blaming me, which I already blamed myself. I didn't actually had to put finger at me. It was just something I didn't have to skill myself. She knows how to raise my daughter, help me in that way to have good one hem I done myself.
So did you manage to navigate it in some way or what?
We're very lucky at twelve and a half she was. We went into Tustasia and I wanted to have she was one of the first patients to stay there given weeks to get her to a point where she was eating a healthy way to make.
That sounds.
Measures and the second year fifteen lots of support. But yeah, I just want to emphasize that because are very vulnerable and to be aware of they themselves.
Absolutely, Yeah, Haley, I'm sorry, really sorry. We would have loved to have talked a bit more about we're up against the clock. But yeah, Google, if people want, if people are concerned about their kids well being on this, what's what steps should they take to just get on top of it.
Look, probably the easiest thing is actually going and have a chat to your GP. You know, if you if you can get an appointment. I think that the GP is a great place to start, and they may well be able to if you need to be put in touch with a psychologist or somebody to help with eating problems, that they can be the good first step for that. But they'll at least get the physical side of stuff, and it was a great place to start as seeing a GP.
Yeah, sorry, we had ran out of time a little bit there, Laba Hey and Doogle. Thank you so much, mate, Umbrella dot org dot NZ. If people want to check out your work, that's one.
Thanks Tim, and just you know, wanted to shout out again to those particularly those people that rang in with their own stories of their own families and the bravery that takes and the great lessons that we picked up from them and they're the real experts. So that was great.
Thanks mate, and excellent our Thank you so much, and thank you for the people who called. And we'll be back in a moment. It's nine minutes to see.
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