In Dr. Steven Hayes’ book A Liberated Mind, How to Pivot Toward What Matters https://amzn.to/34w72BT Dr. Hayes shares some research that shows how quickly you can begin making progress using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The study evaluated how ACT helped people cope with chronic pain, one of the most difficult conditions to treat. After 4 sessions of ACT, the participants in the study had an 87 percent reduction in medical visits and only missed an average of half a day of work versu...
Feb 04, 2020•42 min•Season 1Ep. 181
Dr. Shelly Hoover is a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and friend. She’s a veteran, author, educator, and advocate. It’s what she does. It’s who she is. In 2013, her neurologist told her that she only had two to five years to live. After a year of trying to figure out what was slowly happening to her body, Shelly was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) or Lou Gehrig’s disease. Some call it that Ice Bucket Challenge disease. From shellyhoover.com , “whatever you call i...
Jan 28, 2020•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 180
One of the popular messages shared by both therapists and media alike is that we are supposed to be in complete control of our own emotions before, or even IF we then turn to others and that it is necessary to love yourself first and only THEN will someone else be able to love you. But according to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of the highly successful evidence-based couples therapy model, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), our new knowledge “stands that message on its head.” Dr. Johnson, in her late...
Jan 23, 2020•46 min•Season 1Ep. 179
Have you ever been scared by a friend? Chances are your first, or primary emotion, was fear! That's perfectly normal, after all, you're human. But what emotion follows after the initial fear response? Do you get angry because your friend scared you? Where did that anger come from? Was it because you were actually embarrassed that you dropped your phone, or that you let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush? Those feelings that swoop in immediately after a reaction are typica...
Jan 20, 2020•53 min•Season 1Ep. 178
Physical attraction may be enough to initially bring a couple together but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy and more. Discover how to make physical intimacy the natural byproduct of a strong connection. ...
Jan 16, 2020•56 min•Season 1Ep. 177
In today's episode, Tony tackles the popular article "How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain To Be Anxious And Depressed," from the Daily Health Post https://dailyhealthpost.com/complaining-brain-negativity/ - This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, that includes ...
Jan 13, 2020•48 min•Season 1Ep. 176
Allison Carlson (IG: @allisonbailey1 ) is more than a social media content creator, aka an “influencer,” she is also a wife, a future doula, a woman who has suffered through multiple difficult miscarriages, a survivor of betrayal, anxiety, depression and cutting, mother to a beautiful “rainbow baby” named Given, and yet someone who is also willing to be open and vulnerable in hopes of making a difference. In today’s episode, Allison shares how her challenges have truly shaped who she is today, a...
Jan 07, 2020•1 hr 28 min•Season 1Ep. 175
It’s New Year’s Resolution time! Does setting resolutions, or even talking about resolutions, in general, bring feelings of fear, or excitement? In this episode, I weave acceptance and commitment therapy into 5 evidence-based ways to make your resolutions stick once and for all! Learn how your values must drive your goals, or else you’re just giving yourself more rules to follow, and ultimately break. And what are the stories that your brain is trying to get you to hook to so you don’t have to k...
Dec 30, 2019•47 min•Season 1Ep. 174
Tony talks stages of change using the Transtheoretical, or Stages of Change Model referencing an article by Kendra Cherry https://www.verywellmind.com/the-stages-of-change-2794868 Discover the 6 stages of change and where we typically get stuck on the path of changing troublesome or unwanted behaviors.And Tony mentioned he'll be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod...
Dec 26, 2019•44 min•Season 1Ep. 173
Tony shares his excitement over one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Steven Hayes' new book A Liberated Mind, How to Pivot Toward What Matters https://amzn.to/34w72BT Tony reviews Dr. Hayes 6 key "pivots" of ACT and how even simply an understanding of these pivots can lead to a fairly immediate pivot toward psychological flexibility, which in turn points you toward a more fulfilling life.Tony also references the "Best of" episode of the Marriage Thereoke Podcast which ca...
Dec 18, 2019•51 min•Season 1Ep. 172
Part 3 of 2 of Tony's discussion of his ADHD (ADD inattentive type) diagnosis. In this episode, Tony goes more into some of the diagnostic criteria including a couple of lists of behaviors often associated with ADD-like symptoms (trust me, it's more entertaining than it sounds!). Even if you don't personally suffer from ADHD, there's a good chance someone in your family does. This episode is designed to help bring a little more awareness of what ADHD can look like, and, better yet, how to use th...
Dec 17, 2019•46 min•Season 1Ep. 171
Tony Overbay, LMFT interviews Joshua Shea about their newly released book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4 . The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.Tony and Josh talk about what led to the creation of the book, the process of finding a publisher, and then the...
Dec 11, 2019•1 hr 11 min•Season 1Ep. 170
Wait! Don't skip this episode! I know if you're a podcast listener you've no doubt heard therapist and life coach alike gush about the benefits of mindfulness, about meditation, about being present. Well, what does that actually mean? What's the science behind the practice and how do you push through if you've tried it a time or two and felt like it just didn't work for you? In this episode, Tony will reference an article from HappyBrainScience.com by Scott Crabtree that discusses how to truly r...
Dec 03, 2019•39 min•Season 1Ep. 169
In today's episode, Tony takes a deep dive into the article "How the Narcissistic Trauma Bond Ensnares" by Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC. Christine is a two-time former Virtual Couch podcast guest, and host of the popular, and informative podcast "Understanding Today's Narcissist." In the article, Christine shares the definition of the term trauma bonding, which is loyalty and continued commitment to an abusive person despite the intolerable treatment. In the case of a trauma bonding to a narcissi...
Nov 25, 2019•41 min•Season 1Ep. 168
Learn tangible, positive ways to help you take control of your parenting today! In this solo episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, goes into detail, with personal examples, of how to actually implement the Nurtured Heart Parenting approach with your small, or teenage children. Tony dives into the three stands of the Nurtured Heart Approach: Stand 1, refuse to be drawn into energizing or rewarding negativity, hide your buttons! Make the responses to tantrums, episodes and broken rules boring, predictably ...
Nov 18, 2019•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 167
Rachel Nielson, the host of the popular podcast 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms ( http://3in30podcast.com ) makes a return visit to The Virtual Couch to discuss the challenges of finding the right therapist for you, and/or your kids. Rachel talks about what first led her to therapy, and how a negative experience with her first therapist didn't stop her from continuing to find a therapist who could, and would, help her through some difficult times in her life. Rachel and Tony cover how to find a good ...
Nov 11, 2019•59 min•Season 1Ep. 166
One of the requests that I receive the most is to do an episode on psychopaths vs. sociopaths or narcissists. In this episode, I cover all three, including a fascinating article in The Atlantic, "Life as a Nonviolent Psychopath" https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/life-as-a-nonviolent-psychopath/282271/ where interviewer Judith Ohikuare talks to American neuroscientist Dr. James Fallon. Dr. Fallon is a professor of psychiatry and human behavior and emeritus professor of anatomy an...
Nov 05, 2019•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 165
One of the most unproductive phrases Tony hears in couples counseling is “I’m just playing Devil’s advocate?” Are you? Or are you trying to poke holes in your partner’s reality? Only the “devil” in this scenario truly knows, but regardless, there’s even a productive way to GET TO the playing of the role of “devil’s advocate” and that is by first creating an environment where you are able to hear your partner, truly hear them, and create an environment where they feel safe, heard, like they can t...
Oct 29, 2019•43 min•Season 1Ep. 164
Pastor Chris Jung of Summit Christian Church ( http://mysummit.church ), located in Lincoln, CA, joins Tony to discuss the challenges of discussing mental health-related topics such as anxiety, depression, and suicide in the faith community. The podcast begins with a one-on-one interview with Pastor Chris where he discusses his path toward church service, including his own mental health struggles that came with many of the challenges that he faced in leading both large and small youth and adult ...
Oct 24, 2019•1 hr 51 min•Season 1Ep. 163
Beckie Hennessy, LCSW joins Tony to talk about the Love and Logic parenting method. From the Love and Logic website https://www.loveandlogic.com/a/info/love-and-logic-parenting “Raise happy and well-behaved kids with positive, loving tools. The Love and Logic approach to parenting is built around the science of caring and respectful relationships. An authentic, loving connection between parents and their children forms the foundation of good behavior and healthy decision-making. Sounds easy enou...
Oct 21, 2019•1 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 162
Elisabeth Mortensen, aka Eat, Squat, Mom returns to The Virtual Couch! Elisabeth talks about the four steps that she took to help her love her body, and Tony weaves in principals from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy into the steps. The steps she discusses not only apply to loving your body, or having a better body image, but also to embracing any sort of change in your life. You can read the original blog post here https://eatsquatmom.com/blog/posts/how-gain-love-your-body-and-your-weight And ...
Oct 14, 2019•1 hr 8 min•Season 1Ep. 161
Do you have kids, ever plan on having them, or were you once a kid yourself? Have you ever asked yourself at any time over the last few years, "What up with kids these days?" This episode will answer that question, and so many more! In this special bonus episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, was interview by Tawni Beardall and Erica Peterson, hosts of the popular podcast "Becoming, A Podcast for Teens." The following description of this episode comes directly from their website https://becomingforteens.p...
Oct 10, 2019•59 min•Season 1Ep. 160
Can the language one uses lead to a more successful diagnosis of a mental health condition than in talking with a therapist? What exactly is the “language of depression” and more importantly, what can we learn from it? In today’s episode Tony Overbay, LMFT, reviews an article by Mohammed Al-Mosaiwi, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Reading, in Berkshire, United Kingdom called “People with depression use language differently - here’s how to spot it.” You can find the article here https://th...
Oct 08, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 159
I was asked to present at the Epic Marriage Summit , and my presentation is titled, "Learn More About Your Spouse in 30 Days Than In Your Entire Marriage!" You can watch it free, along with presentations by 32 other marriage experts from October 8th through the 10th by following this link . In this special bonus episode, I interview the Epic Marriage Summit's coordinator, Monica Tanner, host of On the Brighter Side podcast. She talks about what went into creating the Summit, along with who is pr...
Oct 04, 2019•9 min•Season 1Ep. 158
Tony Overbay, LMFT shares the results of a couple of studies that shed some light on why it can be more difficult, not impossible, for some men to develop empathy and what we all can do to be more empathetic. He then shares examples of how to truly listen to your partner, as well as more gaslighting examples, and tells how those can truly be the anti-empathy!Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Add...
Oct 01, 2019•38 min•Season 1Ep. 157
Brannon Patrick is an expert in the field of Betrayal Trauma, and he plays the role of "the Expert" in the popular podcast "The Betrayed, The Addict and The Expert." His podcast follows the recovery journey of Ashlynn and Coby, a couple who have been able to move forward as a result of the pain of betrayal and addiction. Brannon has developed several group systems and programs for addiction recovery. He has specialized training as a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) which has helped hi...
Sep 26, 2019•56 min•Season 1Ep. 156
Kurt Francom, Executive Director of LeadingSaints.org , started the non-profit nine years ago hoping to simply provide a few additional tools to help members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to become better lay-leaders in their church assignments (callings). Now, over the past nine years of existence, Leading Saints has connected Latter-day Saints to leadership principles through podcast episodes, written articles, and virtual conferences reaching individuals around the globe....
Sep 24, 2019•1 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 155
Is laughter actually good for you? What if you feel like there isn't a lot of humor in your life? In this episode Tony covers the topic of humor from the therapist's point of view, by reviewing Laura Johnson, LMFT's article "Humor in Psychotherapy" https://positivepsychologynews.com/news/laura-lc-johnson/200906252693 as well as Helpguide.org's article "Laughter is the best medicine," https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm Tony also reads the scientific...
Sep 17, 2019•44 min•Season 1Ep. 154
Ralphie Jacobs, the positive parenting expert from Simply on Purpose IG @simplyonpurpose and Tony Overbay, LMFT, share their top 5 parenting tips plus, Ralphie sings the Jacobs family song! Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mis...
Sep 13, 2019•58 min•Season 1Ep. 153
Is chronic pain your mentor, or your master? Nicole Alldredge and Aisley Johnson, co-authors of The Mindflight Journal, join Tony Overbay, LMFT on episode 152 of the Virtual Couch Podcast. The Mindflight Journal was created to help you not only track your health, medication, and symptoms, but also take care of your mind through gratitude, growth, and creativity. You can find them on Instagram @mindflightjournal on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mindflightjournal/ or by going directly to ht...
Sep 09, 2019•1 hr 43 min•Season 1Ep. 152
