Moving through *Weird* Energy (Plus An Identity Crisis)

to another episode of the Village Crazy Lady. Hello everybody, I must apologize for dropping off the planet, mostly Earth specifically. I don't know how everyone else has been feeling recently. I know the energy has been really quite intense, quite confusing, a bit ungreen rounded. I know a lot of people have just really been feeling like they are going through it over the last few months. And I did not

skip that experience. I got to enjoy that completely. Well maybe enjoy isn't the correct word, but I really felt like I was actually mentally struggling. To be honest with you, I have been working my little tush off for the last well forever, but especially over the last year. And the thing about me is that I am a hypocrite and I will give advice I will be telling people.

Spirit is saying you need to slow down. Your body is telling you like you need to rest, you need to you need to receive, you need to give time to yourself. And yet I won't do that. I will go not advice for me, that's for everyone else but me until I get just I land on my ass, and surprisingly not in a physical way this time. It normally doesn't really happen for me physically anymore. I get to a point where I feel so mentally not okay, and I will sit there kind of going I've honestly

have had like an identity crisis. I was like, who am I? What am I doing? I was spiraling into like I'm so unlikable, nobody likes me, I'm failing. What is the point? Like I'm gonna be so honest with you, Like I felt all of those things, even though my logical brain was going, bitch, what where is this coming from?

What is going on? The thought spirals that I was in were just taking me down exactly where I needed to go to be honest, like now that I'm sort of out of it, and also, fucking Scorpio season does that to us, right, it goes Hey, let's get nice, deep and dark here, let's meet some shadow versions of ourself. But it really did. It took me so deep into some wise some insecurity, so many insecurities popped up. I

was just disassociating. I was feeling really really overstimulated, feeling like a bad mum, feeling like a bad person, feeling like a bad psychic medium, friend, family member, all of

the above. And so yeah, it really just took me on a bit of a journey and I just had to go, I can't actually show up right now because the person who needs me the most right in this moment is actually me, And that's a really hard thing to do when you feel like you, uh, responsible for others, which is crazy because like, no one fucking dies and made me god and made me, you know, responsible for every single fucking person on the planet or anything like that.

So what an egotistical thing to think, Mikayla. It's very much giving the older sister energy. But yeah, I just had to go. If I don't give energy to myself right now, and if I don't, if I don't allow myself to really be in this and feel it and use the tools that I have and the tools that I teach and the tools that I share to help

myself through this. Like it really was just such a moment of coming back to me and really nurturing myself and giving myself some grace, forgiveness, compassion, understanding, especially in a time where obviously the temperature of the world right now is really intense. There's really it's I mean, I

don't need to tell you that. There's just obviously a lot going on, and especially as a psychic medium through the election time period, and I've got people messaging me every day, this is what you said, what do you think is going to happen? I'll be going to be okay, I'm really afraid. I'm scared all of the above. And there was just a lot of hate and a lot

of really vulnerable people. My heart was feeling the hurt, especially on behalf of others, and I was just really brought into my human which I've really really learned is the most important thing that we can be doing right now. So today I really just want to chat about all the things within this time that have been coming up. Obviously there's been some big things happening in the world, and I'll continue to tell about that over the next few podcasts, and we've got some great guests. He'll be

coming on and speaking to us. And I've really just been trying to think, how do I really need to be showing up right now, because you know, there's a lot of As I said, there's a lot of noise, there's a lot happening, and it can create some fear. It can create not just fear, but also a reactiveness, and we start to kind of even sort of get on a bit of a pedestal and feel like, you know, like what I say is right, what I feel is right.

This is the way we kind of start to feel like we're a little bit better than everybody else and whatever it is. And it really I think Spirit's just given me so much guidance, Like my guides have just been sharing some beautiful wisdom with me over the last few weeks, and so I want to share that with you. You're okay, but also, let's just take a big deep breath also understanding. Sorry I said to take a big deep breath and then forgot to actually fucking do it.

See this is what I mean, Right, I'll say it to you guys, But I'm trying to learn to actually take my own advice and not be a big, old fucking hypocrite. But yes, here are the things that have really been coming up. Slow down. We keep racing towards a finish line that doesn't actually exist. We feel like there's these these there are these these lines that we have to do, that we have to get to, and like we need to race towards them, and we need

to make sure that we have everything. We're doing all the things, whether it's like career wise, and it's like, well, I need to achieve this, this, this, this, this and this because you know in this sort of certain amount of time, and I know Spirit often says to me there and because you know, my personal is quite obsessed with succeeding and creating and reaching the next goal and all of those sorts of things. So this is a lesson that I know very well. Spirits sort of said

to me. They're like, I don't think you understand sort of like the timeline of things, and that not everything is supposed to be done right now. There is like perfect timing for things. Just because you're thinking about something, or just because you have an idea about something, or just because you want to achieve something doesn't mean that

it needs to be achieved right now. Okay. They're like, if you are constantly measuring your success by the things that you're achieving on this list that you have, this like, you know, list you're trying to tick off, and I'll be successful if I'll be successful when, whether it's career,

whether it's family, whether it's house, whether it's relationship. They're like, it's interesting because humans think that that is sort of the point of life, right is to kind of achieve a whole heap of things, is you know, And it sort of starts in school. We get told like what do you want to be when you grow up? And you know, and aim is to get married and have kids and buy a house, and get a degree and get a you know, really good paying job and do

this that and all the other things. And these are the measurements of success. Here's your here's your list to tick off. They're like, that's not it. It's the moments between all of those things that are the real measurement of success, if that's the word that you want to use, because those things never feel like success because you'll reach one and then you're instantly forgotten about it and you're reaching for the next thing anyway, and you'll continue to

do that until literally the day that you die. And then what will be enough? Like which what will it be? What will enough? And meanwhile you've actually missed out on every single small moment, which when we think back to like memories for example, and if you've listened to this podcast and listen to when Sary came on and she was talking about how one of the biggest points, you know, if we're talking about what is the point of life, one of the biggest points of life is to collect memories.

Because we take those memories, we take them into spirit, we share them with others, and that is how we evolve, right, that is how we you know, learn. And yet those memories are often made in those what I call the in between moments. And yet we don't consider any of that a measurement of success within the world. We don't consider how we're treating others a measurement of success. What

we're doing for our community a measurement of success. How we're being present with ourselves and our families as a measurement of success. We don't consider rest, slowing down, looking after ourselves, looking after others, as a measurement of success. Instead, we like a measurement of success is like how much money we make, what our house looks like, where we live, what we're doing for work, how many followers we have, what are our clothes? Like all of these really quite capitalistic,

materialistic things. And they're not saying don't have those, because that's important as well, you know, especially when it comes from a place of passion and sort of seeing a gap in society that you can a gap in community that you can feel and you have the passion, the drive, the skills and the heart to do that. But they're like, you're missing everything if you aren't cherishing and recognizing those small in between moments as the real purpose for being here.

You know, we often talk about what's my purpose? Why

am I here? And it's like, well, those moments, they're the ones that when you're sitting there lying in your deathbed, you're going to be wishing that you were more present in those moments, more present in the moments of connection and community and just holding your child or going out dancing with friends, or sitting there watching the sunset, or you know, being there for your community and helping others and being involved, you know, so there the moments that

you're going to really be cherishing more than anything else. So that for me was such a big wake up call and something that I really had to like very consciously shift. I went, you know what, my goal is to shift my perspective. My goal is to shift my idea of success. And by doing that, honestly, it has

for me brought so much calm, so much enjoyment. And on the flip side, all of my career successes have been going fine and great and it's like, oh wow, the world doesn't end when I just stop and be present. So just a reminder for everyone, big thing slowing down, and again speaking to the slowing down, they're sort of talking about, oh and sorry, actually collectively they want to speak to this as well, Okay, thank you. Think about obviously,

the temperature of the world. There's a lot of there's a lot of change that wants to happen, and people really really really are wanting change. And one thing that they've been saying to me, especially today, they're like, I feel like you really need to talk about this is recognizing that it's a long game, Okay, recognizing that the change that we want doesn't just happen by talking about It doesn't just happen by going the government sucks, it's

all shit, everything's fucked, the world is fucked, okay. It happens by one recognizing things, by going like the energy of that is not right those there are people that are being hurt here. There are people that are vulnerable, people being hurt here. And I really want to quickly share this channel, this message that downloaded to me a few weeks ago when I was in a real state of like what is the fucking purpose? Like what am

I doing here? And I wrote this verbatim. Okay, so I'm going to read it verbatim and in my glasses on because I'm fucking blind. My guide said being spiritual isn't about being spiritual. It's about being human, you know. And I've spoken about that plenty times before. The whole fucking reason where here is to be human, not to be some fucking spirit god, otherwise why be here? You know? Float back up, and they said being the best human that you can be, which doesn't mean to say be

better than others. It doesn't mean aim to be the best. It means understanding humanity, understanding that at its core, the blessing of being human is to feel love and spread love. It is to learn where love is missing and use

that as a spark to insert it where you missed it. Okay, So what they meant by that was think about kind of using like your own trauma and experiences as your inspiration to understand where people might need the love that you missed, because like a lot of our traumas or our experiences kind of all center around some kind of love,

lack of lack of safety, lack of autonomy, things like that. Okay, so what they're saying is take that, recognize where that is missing within the world, and take your lessons and your knowledge from what you've learned from it, and insert it there because you understand, you understand what that feels like. Okay. It's not to be better then or greater then. Okay, big fucking theme. We're not here to be better, bigger, greater than anybody else. Okay, it's not to ascend beyond it.

It is to be a part of it. You will learn more from each other than you ever will from us. Okay. That was such a big thing. They're like stop, Like, yes, we're here to guide you yes, we're here to help you, but speak to the other fucking humans down there. They said, Our job, honestly is to continue to push you down, as in push us down to earth, not like fucking kick us over and be like take that bitch. They

were like explaining that quite energetically. They're like, it's just constantly going no, no, no, no, be down there, be down there, be down there. Okay, oh yeah, they said, as in push you into earth, into the experience of it. Why aren't you listening to each other, each person needing to be louder than the last. Here the ones who have lost the most, because they by far have the most to give. They have suffered and lost, and their

hurt has turned into knowledge. When the right people experience the wrong thing, they will use it as ammunition for purpose. It becomes the beating drum to their every day. Their depth of experience means that their depth of compassion is deeper than yours. So listen to them when they yell and scream, listen. And when they were explaining the people who have lost the most, the ones who we really need to be listening to, they're talking like the indigenous.

They're like, fucking listen. Listen to the most oppressed people on that planet. Listen to poverty stricken, the people in the third world, world countries, the people experiencing war and jet aside. Listen to those people. Don't listen to those who don't really have that much to lose or have

lost very much, because they are they are evolution. The more that we and especially we are literally Pluto's just come into a into aquarius, then we'll do an episode on that with someone who knows about it way more than I do. But what I do know is that it is fucking revolution time, baby. It is time where

and we're seeing it. We're seeing indigenous women standing up and fucking yelling and screaming and saying listen, and people will police them and tell them that they're saying it wrong, that they're speaking wrong, that they're being and polite there whatever, but they're not being heard any other way. Listen to those people. The people who have lost the most have acquired more knowledge than we have. So what we need

to be doing is listening. Okay, they're like and within that as well, and they're saying again, like we're kind of getting caught up in these wrongs and these rights of the world, okay, and we're kind of, you know, getting swept up in all of that as opposed to listening to the people again who have lost the most, the people who have had sort of like the most,

who have experienced hate from the world more than anybody else. Okay, they're the ones who need our love, attention, compassion, and we can learn the most from so super duper important and I love that they shared that, and just the concept of like, stop trying to be the best fucking person. That's that's not the point. And the other things that they were talking about was speaking into like what's within our control? Okay, what power do I have and what

do I have control over? Okay, because there's a lot that we don't have control over it. In reiki, we one of the pillars that in dr U Sui is reiki, which is what I teach and is the most traditional form he talks about. It's called just for today, do not worry. And I always say to people like, it's more than that, right, because it's not as like if you just tell someone, oh, have you just tried not worrying, it's like, oh my god, wow, I can't believe I

didn't think of that. That solves all of my life's problems. But what reiki does teach is that the only thing you literally have control over ever at any given time is what you are doing right now, right now, in this present moment, what you were doing, not what anybody else is doing. You can't control that. You can't control

any thing that has happened up until this very moment. Okay, So if you find yourself stuck in the worry of the past and the what ifs and that I wish I did, and the struggling to forgive and accept and surrender to past versions of ourselves and maybe things that we've done or things that we've experienced, or things that we wish we hadn't. Whatever that is, it's done. We have no control over it. The only thing we have

control over is us right now in this moment. And that goes for the future as well, when we find ourselves getting caught up in the what's going to happen, what's next? I don't know what to do, I don't know what's you know, all of these things that could happen or might happen, or all of that. Again, they're like the only thing that determines your future. Is what you're doing right now. That's it. That's the only thing that you have control over. So really like coming back

to constantly what do I have control over? I have control over me? What do I have power over? I have power over myself. I have power remembering that power and that's not power over others. Okay, I love I think it was Brene Brown. She said, there's a difference between power of power too and power for. And I always think about that when in any scenario, whether it's considering somebody else's intention, is there intention power of power for or power to? Considering my own intention? Is this

power of power for? Or power too? Okay? So just really thinking about that and in regards to what do I have control over? Okay. And Spirit was telling me this this morning, and this has been a bit of a theme for me as well. Get involved, take action. Okay, don't just say the government sucks. The world is far, everything's going to shit. They're trying to, you know, control

our minds, now this, now that, and everything else. And we're getting caught up in the words and the fear and the and the all of those sorts of things,

which is easily done. I've been there. We've all been there, and there's a way to listen and take things on and go that's really interesting without it turning into a fuel that can become hateful and can actually be the opposite of productive and be the opposite of helpful, and can just turn into more toxic words and become more just like like toxic fluff in the world, you know, without any actual real action. It's actually just adding fuel to sort of a hateful fire, and it's and it's

not doing anything other than harming people. Okay, think about like the impact of your words or the impact of what you're doing and what you're involved in. Is this hurting or harming? And like really think about like the people again constantly bring it back down to not the words, not the language, not what we're being told, not what you're hearing, not the circles that you're in, nothing like that. People,

Are you judging people that you don't even know? Are you trying to tell people how to live and you don't even and you know nothing about them? Okay, again, you're not better then, you don't know better than somebody. You can't tell somebody what to do with their life, and their body and how they should express and who they should be. Like, nobody died and made you fucking Jesus Christ or source fucking energy. Okay, we need to just take a back fucking seed and go who do

I have control over me? Cool? That's great, nobody else. But if you do have a problem with the world or the government or the whatever, else, Like one thing that I've sort of learned and what I'm being told is like, well, get involved. Don't be upset with the government, but then and shit on it and say it's the worst thing in the world, but not be involved. Recognize that this is the very human thing that we're working with. Okay,

me personally, I've signed up to volunteer. It's a volunteer for the Greens Party because I want to be a part of it. I want to be a part of the conversation. I don't want to just be some fucking spiritual person who thinks that I'm above all of it and that I can just descend it all and that if I'm just you know, in high vibe feelings, then like that will do it. No, I want to actually be the change that I want to be involved. I

want to be the change. I want my kids to see that, Like it's important that we use our human bodies to be involved in the very human things, Like these things are important, like don't just say shit, take action, get involved in the humanness. Okay, that is what we are here for. We're not here to be above it and better than it. Okay. And again this is all coming from just a place of like I've been on this journey as well, and these were all things that

I just one like the settling into the humanness. That takes the pressure off as well. Okay, we don't need to be oh like, we don't need to be better than anybody else. That's not what we're here to do. Okay, that's the opposite in fact, Like if anything, we want to get on the same like not even get on the same level, because we are all on the same level.

If you truly think that you have you are above other people, Like you're the one who needs to be doing the most amount of work right now around that. That's sort of the thing that we maybe you need to be looking into. It's not productive, it doesn't help. Like the thing that I'm constantly thinking about is evolution and moving forward and taking on what's new and not going backwards, but yeah, forever like learning, like how are

we evolving? And it's really beautiful. I guess that is something like having the connection to to spirit and having connection to you know, different life forces as well and different galactic beings. They share that and teach that into such a such a beautiful way where they're just like just look at each other, like soul to soul. You know, how did those the people that you're judging, would they be judging you the same amount that you judge them.

Would they be telling you how to live the same way that you're telling them how to live and how to exist? Have you ever had a conversation with them? Have you ever noticed what they do for the world, the kindness they inject, the way that they treat others. Have you ever noticed that? And maybe that's something you should be noticing beyond anything else. Okay. The other thing,

especially coming into Christmas time, is choosing peace for ourself. Okay, And they don't mean just like choosing peace as in like you know, choosing whatever is like calm or I'm not getting involved in things because I need to choose my cheap piece and being my piece, like obviously there's there's a balance to it, and sometimes peace comes in the form of quite dramatic action, you know, peace comes in the form of speaking up and having to be

in a state of confrontation or making a drastic decision or whatever it is. Okay, but really think about, you know, your life, think about how you feel, think about I like to think about the things in my life and what does feel like peace? Does my relationship feel like peace? Does my family feel like peace? The people in my life? Does that person feel like peace to me? Does this work or this job does that feel like peace? You know?

Does it feel And when I say peace, I mean just that feeling, not like the word, the feeling, that feeling of peace, that feeling of feeling safe peace, that feeling of feeling like you can be yourself completely because that's peaceful, right. Having to be dishonest about who you are and feeling like you are having to overthink and over analyze everything that you do and every word that you say and every single way that you show up.

That doesn't feel like peace. Okay, So they're like, really consider that, you know, and if you're feeling like your life is feeling very stressful, and it's feeling like so discombobulated and you're not enjoying it. Really like strip it back. What's not feeling peaceful right now? What do I need to be saying yes two more? What do I need to be saying no to more? What feels more like peace right now? And especially at a time where it feels like there's not a lot of that going on

in the world, So just really considering that. And lastly, I mean, I've got so many more things that I feel like I could talk about for one hundred years.

This is what happens when I disappear. I'm like, I'm back, and anyway, I could write four novels by coming into this season spend I know, I feel like a lot of people have been isolating a bit more as far as just feeling I think because of how everyone's been feeling, and maybe we've just been trying to sort of navigate it, work it out for ourselves, and like you know, it's been quite stressful and full on at the moment, we've

sort of been like isolating ourselves from people. We haven't really been socializing as much in the way of real socialization, not just like being around people, but being around people who we can be really honest with, okay, because I think there's a lot of people who've been feeling bit shitty lately, to be honest, but feeling like they don't want to burden anybody else, or feeling like they don't they don't even know how to really articulate the feeling

as well, so they've just kind of been like isolating, kind of shutting themselves off. And there's a period of that that's important. Sometimes it's good for us to sort of just spend some time in our own energy, really understanding how we feel and why we feel that way. But Spirit's like, okay, it's time to come out of your cave now, little bears, time to come out. Spring

has sprung, the winter has passed. Okay. But they're like, choose who you spend time with wisely, Okay, be around people who you can be really honest with and like not small talk conversation, no, no, how are you really feeling? What have you been going through? Really consciously take time to spend time with people who make you feel good.

And then, lastly, so the analogy that Spirit gave me was, imagine you invite all your friends or family whatever over for dinner, and you're like, yep, can't wait to have

everyone over for this big dinner at my house. And while everyone else is socializing, talking, laughing, having a drink, whatever, catching up, playing board games, having the best time ever, you were stressed off your fucking face, trying to put on a roast, trying to like make the house look amazing, every little detail everything is perfect, making sure every single detail is perfect, and you've got above and beyond, and you're so stressed that you are basically hating it. You're like,

this is so stressful. I'm not having a good time at all. And while you are so busy and consumed making sure everything is perfect and making it bigger than Ben fucking her and putting all that effort in, you've missed out on the connection, the joy, the fun, the love, the all of those things that were right in front of you. Take that energy into especially the rest of this year, where we can get really caught up in

the what are we doing, how we doing it? Making sure everything's perfect, making sure everything is like you know, it can become a bit of an over consumerists, just perfectiony comparisony. That's not a fucking word, But you know what I mean time of year, and that's not just like fucking Christmas Day itself. I'm just talking in general.

We can and in general just getting caught up in just the perfectedness of it all and the stressing so much that we miss the things that are important, as I said, the fun, the connection, the love, the joy, the conversation, the all of those things that are right in front of us, and we are missing it completely because we are so stressed that we end up not enjoying it. So please, please, let's try our best to enjoy what is right in front of us that we

might be missing because we're two in our heads. We're too stressed thinking about everything. We haven't done, everything we need to do, everything that's not perfect, everything that's not right, or anything else, and because of that, we've missed it all. We're missing or the good shit that's right in front

of you. And like circling back to the first thing that I said at the beginning of the episode, when we were talking about missing out on the small moments that are actually the big moments, the memories that make life what it is. It's the entire purpose. So if you're looking for purpose. That's it. That is fucking it.

Thank you so much guys listening to my ted talk and for being patient with me while I took some time off to consider what a padded room might feel like and how that might be quite enjoyable and quiet and what I really felt like I needed at some stages. To be honest, it was quite a time. But also look after each other, check in on your friends, check in on yourself. A reminder that I do group healings every single week. I've been doing them for so long,

I've done them for tens of thousands of people. I love them because they are accessible. You don't have to do anything, be anywhere. You just receive it and then you get sent an email with the humongous reading. It goes for like forty minutes and it's twenty two bucks, or you can get a subscription for fifteen bucks a week. And I did that because I wanted something that is affordable and accessible for anyone and everybody, and especially for people who just want to dip their toes into trying

energy healing and readings and stuff like that. But also I would love to hear what you guys would love more from this podcast what you enjoy, the kind of people that you'd love to hear on here. This is, you know, our podcast. This is for us, for all the crazies, for all the village crazies, for all the maybe we're dipping out toes in being a village crazy,

whatever it is. I also have just put up my some classes, some reiki classes for twenty twenty five if you're interested in doing that and wanting to really explore your own sort of psychic median ship side. We explore all of that in the class as well. And then aside from that, please make sure that you like, subscribe, share this if you feel like this podcast there's something that you need to see here and might be beneficial and helpful for others as well. Sharing it around means

well to me. Leaving a review helps me out a bunch. Following the podcast helps the podcast out the mostest, So if you haven't done that, please do. But aside from that, I hope you guys have a beautiful week. I'm so glad to be back Bushy Tailed, and I'm ready to keep creating some epic fucking podcast And thank you so much. See you lady guys. Bye