Family Constellation Therapy

to another episode of the Village Crazy Lady. This week, I have another Crazy Lady in the building with me. Beautiful Donna Wallace reached out and she said, Hey, I've got a story and I've got something that I'd love to chat on the podcast about. I'm so passionate about what I do. I've got over twenty five experience twenty five years experience, sorry, working with people, and you do

so many amazing things. So you make jewelry that is like specifically sort of like full people's souls, I guess, and I'm excited to hear so much more about that. You work with like family constellations and like really deep healing. I think you said to me that the thing for you is it's like you want to like almost like rip the band aid off and really get the nitty gritty of like what's going on? Does that feel right? Did I now that exactly right?

ever had ever experienced it. That set me on a really interesting trajectory of learning and learning and learning and learning and learning more and discovering more about myself. And I guess really my personal development journey started than when I was a teenager, which is why I've been doing and the healing wrote for so many years. And you know, I tried to quit it so many times along the

way Mickey, Oh really stop. Yes, so many times I was like, this is stuff I don't want to I can swear as much as I want on your own Yeah.

me want to vomit. Yes, so yeah, but all of those things, and also, like you know, earlier on in my in my healing journey, like feeling like I was doing so much work but never getting anywhere, Like I'd have like a little breakthrough, but then the same thing and pop up six months later, and it's like, just wanted to flip the bird to personal development because like that is so shit right when you're doing all the things and not really making a difference, Like it's not

really getting to the source.

I could be happy again. Healing is so you know, I call is the healing journey, But it's so deep and it's so personal, it's so multi faceted because we're multifaceted people, but it's often a hidden inner experience of what we're going through when we're on that emotional rollercoaster.

understanding different parts of you. And it's kind of like doing it not without shame, because like we can't determine that we can do something completely shameless, but kind of like coming at it from a degree of like just trying to peel away the shame from ourselves, like stop shaming ourselves for being ourselves, and just learning to understand all of these like beautiful, intricate parts of us and instead of seeing it as like a bad thing, it's just like a real understanding of it and like a

love for like why we you know, just a love for it all and an understanding and acceptance of it all.

of the stuff that's going on inside of you. And when it happens, then like it's revealing the beauty of who you are, Like our complete whole magnificence is already inside of us. It is remembering who we are, as you say, like if we have to get rid of a blaze of shame or processing trauma that we've experienced, all the different things, but ultimately we're just coming closer and closer to the essence of ourselves. And it is a remembering process.

We have an aura. Our family system also has an energy field, and okay, you know when birds fly in a V formation, there is a biological phenomenon called a morphic field. That morphic field tells the birds how to fly in a V formation. So the energetic field around the birds is telling them what to do. Yes, right in the field of the family system. The energetic field, the morphic field of our family systems inform all of the individuals about how to behave and what to do.

So we are born with this biological need to belong to our family systems because if we don't, we're not going to survive. Right as babies, we have to belong. There is this inherent need, whether you like it or not, to belong to your birth family. And we have like this deep sense and loyalty because we will give They gave us the greatest gift of all, which is the gift of life. So we have this inherent love and loyalty to our parents, even if they've treated us really poorly.

And then we also overlay that with this biological needs belong to our family system. What that means is that you you know, when you're trying to do something in your life, Mickey, and you're like just don't have the willpower, Like I just can't do it. I've tried so much and I just can't like overcome this one thing.

do the work with them. If it means that they're alive and you're not in contact, or you're living on the other side of the world, or for whatever reason it's not safe to be in contact with them, that's not a safe relationship. We still get to do the work. It's awesome. So, yeah, we do its energetic work. And I kind of tell you how much of a difference, Mickey. It makes you be in your body like it's a physical experience of what shifts when we do this work.

Let me tell you a little bit more about it. Okay, Okay, So let's go back to another animal analogy. So you know, with a wolf pack, if every wolf is knows what their role is and they know where to stand in the wolf pack, the wolf pack is really strong and really healthy. All of the individuals can thrive when every individual wolf knows what they're meant to be doing. It's the same in the field of the family system, when every individual is standing in the right place. Yeah, the

constellation part. Yes, like everyone's a star in the field of the family system. Yeah, when everyone is standing in their rightful places and performing their rightful roles, and everyone in the field of the family system is so much stronger, so much happier, so much healthier. Also, love and lifeless energy flows through the field of our family system. And there's a couple of ways where like the hose gets kinked. First of all, it's people are in the wrong positions

and they're performing the wrong roles. Like say, I'm a daughter, but I'm acting like a mother to my mother. Yeah, it's called parentification. Yes, So when we're performing the wrong roles, it kinks the flow of loveless energy. We're sounding in the wrong positions that lifeless energy can't flow. Also, when there's been trauma that's been experienced by any members of our family and it hasn't been processed, it is like

having an octopus over that person's face. All it doesn't matter where they look, all they can see is the octopus is the trauma. So, you know, when I'm sure we've all seen this, like when a parent has experienced some sort of trauma in their life and they just can't be present to their children, like they are just kind of consumed and taken over by the things that they've experienced and haven't been able to resolve yet. So unprocessed trauma sits there like a big boulder in the

field of the family system. It prevents the flow of love and lifeless energy moving through. And so when we heal all that unprocessed trauma and we put everyone into the positions and people performing their rightful roles, you get this beautiful like experience of heaps of support coming into the back of your body and you feel really strong and you feel really light because you've released all the shit that you've been carrying from other people. Yeah, this

is that whole repeating pattern thing. You know. Some people call it like ancestral healing. Or like epigenetics and all of that stuff. But this is a whole nother take on that, which is it is much easier for us to you know, when you're skiing and doing like cross country skiing, and it's so much easier to go in the well worn tracks of other people. It's the same

in the field of our family. It's much easier for us to repeat the same patterns, to do the same sorts of things as what the norm of our family system is. So when you know our when it comes to our generation, mickey, like, we are wanting to create all sorts of amazing things that haven't that hasn't had and historically in our family, like we want to be much happier than anyone else was. We want to do what is really fulfilling and you know perhaps our past

generations didn't have that. We want to experience true love. We want to be you know, conscious parents. We want to I don't know, make a ton of money. Like

whatever the things are that you want to create. It's sort of like you either have the feeling of like being held back, like unseen hands holding you back you can't quite create the things that you want, or with the shift of like doing this kind of work, it feels like you get to create like the most beautiful life with the support of your family and doing it in honor of them.

also you know, like an energetic level as well. So much of our shit now as adults comes from us when we were children and our family, our family, sisters, whether it's mum, well and all of the above, mom, dad, dad, mom, brother, sister, whoever, whoever, grandparents, because you're right, like they are like when we're younger, they are our world. They are everything. We're learning everything about ourselves from them. We're learning everything about relationships from them.

We're learning everything about how we treat people, how we behave, how we respond to situations, how we feel safe. We're creating our safety based on how we feel. And so like I guess, like it makes so much sense now when you think about it and like to consider healing just the energetic relationships without having because a lot of us are going like you know, well, I'm in therapy and I'm talking, and which is also a beautiful important thing as well and can be so so good, like

good and important. But like for me, for example, I'm listening to this and like I've been through a lot of those everything like issues with family, and there's so much that I can't have conversations with certain people or it's unsafe for me or whatever. But to add like the element to be able to heal the family shit without having to fucking sit down and like do it,

Like that's really interesting to me. But it also makes so much sense because it would be so much more freeing for me and be able to like heal so much within myself because of course, like so much of me is relevant to them exactly.

I think that we have agreements with our you know, on that soule level to come in and to come into particular families that give us exactly what we need on the soule level, and it can be challenging as far. Yeah, you know, and sometimes it's the stuff that we experience with our families that are so deeply challenging, Mickey, become our greatest gifts. And I really truly believe that like

our greatest challenges are also our greatest gifts. We just need to figure out how to get them from a challenge to a gift.

understand it. And I think that is a beautiful gift to be able to give people.

like this is really interesting. So for instance, some people have like a burst of love that they experience from their mother and then nothing, and then that experience creates a feast or famine kind of energy, and then that translates into other things like how you experience money in your life, Like maybe then you get like bulk amounts

of money and then there's nothing for ages. And so our relationships with our family can create particular dynamics in our lives like that stop go feast or famine energy or it's like that you only ever get just enough to get by. Yeah, you know there are things like that that come up and that get healed in family

constellation therapy because it's just so intertwined. It's like, you know, we're meant to receive love and lifeless energy from source from the divine and from Earth, and then we're also meant to receive it from our family assistance. And if you're not getting it from if there's not that free flow of love and support coming through from mum and dad and everyone else, like you've kind of got like one lead cut off.

because we know about it, we can help you. We can guide you as much as we can, and we're going to do whatever we can to empower you with that goal or whatever it is. And there's so many moments that I see that the relationship from spirit to us is really similar that very much the same as parent to child.

from source or you know, your spirit guides. And so how we feel about ourselves is really affected by our relationship with our parents and how much love, like are we freely receiving from them, Because when we don't freely receive heaps of love from our parents, unconditional love, it makes us feel like there's something wrong about ourselves. Yeah, and so this self esteem thing really like forbades the

whole rest of our life. But it also makes a big difference in how we can receive how can we receive love, and how can we receive light and how can we receive support from our spirit team. Yes, so it is when we get into this space of opening up love and life wor synergy within you, we're also opening up your ability to receive We're also we're on your self esteem and how you feel about yourself like

it's just so deep. And the cool thing is that, like we do a constellation session family constellation session, and you get these immediate like lightness or strength or feeling uplifted or whatever you get, and then it takes six months for the session to fully integrate. So and we do like layer that with session upon session upon session. You get this beautiful cumulative effect over time where things just kept getting better and better. It's gorgeous. That's so.

always felt so hurt. They just they worked really hard on like being really good parents. And she said the voice in my head was my parent's voice. And she said, you know how people talk about like the self esteem voice the voice that sits there and goes, You're not good enough, you could never do that, or like, you know, you've got to try. You know that voice, the voice that just sits there and cock blocks us from life

and tells us how shit we are at everything. She's like, I realized, I just my voice, the internal voice was so different to my friend. And she goes, because the voice in my head are my parents' voices telling me everything that I'm great at, how I'm capable of doing anything that I want. And there were just so many

things that I went that is so beautiful. The concept that she said, like that voice in her head was actually her parents, and it just made me really think about, you know, how I'm parenting my own child like children, and even when you're talking about receiving before and like how we receive like how we receive love, how we receive from spirit, and like it is really like I even thought about, you know, if you're used to needing to do something to get love, or like if I

want love, I need to be really really successful. Like this was something that even just came up last week and a healing for me. And I just have this like obsession like I'm like, I'm never I'm never there, I'm never successful, I've never reached that goal and I'm and my heeler was just like, well, how did you receive it as a child, Like what did you need

to do? And I'm like, well, I was an overach like if I performed, if I did well, if I did well at school, if I was the best at things, and then I would receive the accolades and I would

receive the well done. And she's like, well, there you go, you know, Like, so there's so many it just it really does make so much sense that so much of us now and it's so interesting how it comes out anyways, and you might sit there like even me, I'm like, I've healed so many things and like but it's almost like the more that you have, the more that you haven't. It's like the more that you know, the more you realize you don't don't know, oh.

you can move into a positive charge as well. That sounds very I think cliche, doesn't it. But you can move through these things so you can get like the benefit and all of the goodness that your family can offer you, and then you can just leave the rest behind.

dying at a young age or like suicide tendencies. And then you can see even with my clients sometimes at particular ages when other family members have died at that age, I have suicide idealization or like there's a feeling, a dynamic of moving towards death, and it's really fascinating. So we also work on like making sure that anyone who's died or died at a young age particularly has a place in the family system that they belong and they're a part of this they're not missing in a family anymore.

And that's really super duper healing for people who like lost a brother or in a car accident at a young age, or you know, have suicided or really beautiful because you know, then when we do that family consolation therapy, it like opens up connection with them as a spirit too, Like it's then we go into that place which is

really super cool. Like I have a couple of people who have like their husbands or spouses have died, and you know, it's a huge obviously has a huge impact on people's lives and they get to still be a part of the family. And when we do that healing, it's just so loving. Everyone feels like everything's right in the world again because they're together even though they're not together, they're together. They're together as much as we can here on earth. Wow, that's really special.

was like, I just have to follow my intuition. Like I'm just going to follow my intuition all the time now. And so I've had eight years of solidly following my intuition. We moved from the western suburbs of Melbourne down to the morning to Peninsula to the beach, and before we moved, I could feel that there was something that wanted to

come through me. Have you ever had that, Mickey, where like, yeah, you're like you know that there's something you meant to be creating, and there's this feeling like kind of like, I don't know, being spiritually pregnant.

visions coming through one after the other. Amazing mate healer and mentor at the time, and she said to me, like, what does your business want to sell? And before I could even think about it this, the word product products came up and I was like, I paused, and I didn't even want to say it out loud, and I just couldn't believe it because I thought I'd found my lot in life doing energy healing work. Like I just thought I was always going to be a service based business.

I'd stied way clear of MLMs and all the different things that people tried to wrote me into to sell their products. I was like, no, no, no, not for me. And then I got this vision of my So I was out in the stars, you know, good old meditation, yeahs, And I see this hand and I saw a color doan stone rings slide onto someone's ring finger, and I saw energy rippling up their arms into like into their body, and then their light just went being and turned on,

and I was like, what the fuck is this? And then I saw like all these like I started making rings, like started with working rings in my business. I saw all these rings being made out of Melbourne and like shipping out to like all across the world. And then I saw that each of these pieces of jewelry created

a grid around Mother Earth. And so now I have like this goal or mission, and I don't even know how I'm going to measure it, but to create the world's largest crystal grid using all of our jewelry and the purpose of the greed is to support the ascension of the planet of Mother Earth. So let me go

back a couple of steps. Now, Yes, I basically it's a full custom process where the first step in the process is well, people can have free energy readings with me actually, and I like read your energy field, tell you what colors are in your field and what it all means. And then I try on gemstones to see what would be the perfect match that really like hing turn your light on, so do that, which I'm I'm happy to give you one too, Mickey if you're like,

oh my god, yes. And then when people decide like oh my god, don't know, I fucking have to have one of these pieces of drawer, which is what happens. People just know whether they're meant to have one or not. Then I take them through a blossom session and it's a deep dive session for you to connect with your soul in a way that you probably never have before.

We feel what does your soul want for you and what does it want to express for you, and you get this visceral experience of who you are as that soulful being and with that feeling, with that vibration, then I go off and oh, and you get a divine download in that session of like is it a ring, is it a pendent? What colors stone? Is it? Like that kind of thing, And then I go off and into it. If we choose dem stones for you, I

bring them back. That's why I call them soulmate stones, because people just like they either stopped talking, get really quiet, or they get a big grin on their face or they cry or like they're like it's doing something to my heart. I'm like, yep, it's just beautiful. And then we go through a process of designing your piece of jewelry. And I have an incredible jeweler who's been making jewelry

for over thirty years. The pieces are designed to be heirloom pieces, so they're handed down from generation to generation. They get the essence of your soul magic and they get all of your love when they're these pieces handed down.

when I wore that piece of jewelry. So even though it's custom made for your soul, it's every piece a specific mission, a specific purpose, and even when it's passed down or passed on, that gets that gift as well

as you your essence. And so also I have made an engagement ring before, which was just wild and like the most beautiful experience, and it was a surprise for her as well as she didn't know and she like absolutely loves her ring like it was how instead of it being like about so the ring acts on her soul and we connected into her soul, but it also represents the love of the relationship, and the ring tells a story about their relationship, from the time that they

met to their happy places along the way and the next chapter of their lives. It's just it was so gorgeous. I cried the whole way through making that so beautiful. I'm ready. I'm waiting for someone else to say, come on down, I want an engage with ring. I'm like, I can't wait. I am ready for the next one. But interestingly, I have a lot of people Miki choose to buy the jewry for themselves.

and it's got this is that Yeah that's different. But yeah, I'm not a sentimental person, but I love like, yes, Okay, I love that so much, and I love that people are getting it for themselves and because that to me, like you know, I think an engagement ring is a beautiful thing and the intention of it and I love you and blah blah blah, but like what's more special than like from me?

that stuff. And it really is such like an AHA moment with all the family thing, and I think it probably will be for so many other people as well, listening going like, oh my god, that would be so effing helpful because I sit there trying to I think with family, like a lot of the time, the thing that we struggle with the most is that people. We can't control other people, and people aren't being who we need them to be because they can't be because we

can't force anyone to to be or do anything. But to be able to bring that power back to ourselves and to be able to sort of heal those relationships and understand those relationships on a real energetic level, I think will be really freeing for a lot of people.

your name, yeah, look me up. I'd love to connect.