Rahti: [00:00:00] Being an uplifter means synergy, synchronicity, opportunity, safety, all like that.[00:00:15]
Aransas: I've spent the last 20 years of my life working with women who want to create. change either in their own lives or in the world or often in both. And what ultimately gets in the way for us most [00:00:30] of the time is our mindsets. These beliefs that limit us and these fears that stop us so often we chalk it up to not enough, not enough money, not enough [00:00:45] support, not enough knowledge, not enough credentials.
But there is one powerful force that is literally available to every single human every single day and it's purpose. And you hear [00:01:00] this in uplifters over and over again that despite worrying about what others might think of them, if they're smart enough or ready enough. They find some way to make an impact, to make a difference for [00:01:15] others, and that that shows them how much strength is inside them.
In today's episode, you're going to meet Chef Sherry Jefferson from the Food Bank for New York City. She's prepared [00:01:30] millions of meals for hungry New Yorkers, but it's not just food she's serving them. It's love. Check and compassion. She talks about what it's like to struggle to feed your family [00:01:45] and to somehow try to put a smile on your face, to hold your head high and keep it all together.
But it wasn't until she found real purpose that she found a burst of energy that has She [00:02:00] transformed her second half of life, and now she is in her 60s. She has changed careers. She has found greater purpose, greater impact, and greater joy than she ever dreamed of. I [00:02:15] can't wait for you to hear this story.
May we all choose to create the purpose and the joy in our lives that Chef Sherry has. Hi Chef Sherry, welcome. Hello, and thank you for having me. Oh my gosh. It's absolutely my [00:02:30] pleasure. So tell people about the food bank for those who aren't familiar with it.
Sherri: We have a community kitchen and pantry in West Harlem.
We serve over 500 people a day and that's from the kitchen and we also [00:02:45] have
Aransas: our pantry. We all need food and community, and I suspect you're providing both.
Sherri: Yes. And, you know, and I'm not originally from the community, but I've been here for [00:03:00] going on nine years and it's just one huge extended family that I've become a part of.
Aransas: How incredible. How did you end up at the Food Bank for New York City?
Sherri: I'm a single mother and I had a catering business for about [00:03:15] 10 years and that's how I put my girls through college. But I have to lead by example. So at 50 years of age, I went to culinary school and as my chef instructor told me not to learn to cook, but to elevate and enhance what I already knew.
I came to Food [00:03:30] Bank for my externship and I never left. Was it about Food Bank that made you wanted to stay? We found each other. Sometimes you look for certain things in your life and you can't seem to find it. I just knew I [00:03:45] found where I was supposed to be, and the interim director that was here at the time, he helped me to see where I was supposed to be.
He saw something in me that I didn't know existed, and I am forever grateful. What was it that he [00:04:00] saw? I understood what it was that the clients that we serve needed. And he felt that I was able to give it to them. I didn't know that at the time. We sat in his office, he said, It takes a special [00:04:15] person to let go.
He said, I wouldn't tell you this if it weren't so. I will be here nine years in March. And is such a blessing to come to work every day, but it's not just work. It's gratification. It's [00:04:30] satisfying. I guess it's tiresome. You get tired. I mean, I just turned 60, but when I'm here, Hey, I'm still that young spunky girl.
What is it about being there that energizes you so much? I never stood on a line [00:04:45] for a soup kitchen or pantry, but I know what it is. means to suffer in silence. I know what it is to be depressed. I know what it means to not know where that next meal is coming [00:05:00] from for myself, let alone my daughters. When they walk in, I can tell who's having that dark day because I've been there.
I understand. And if you've never had to deal with that,
Aransas: you wouldn't understand it. Mm hmm. And when you [00:05:15] talk about suffering in silence, what do you mean by that?
Sherri: To be in a dark place, not knowing how you're going to pay your rent, how you're going to make sure that your children are eating properly, but yet you're still walking [00:05:30] with that smile on your face.
You're still trying to hold your head high, but deep down it's a dark, dark place. So when the clients do come in, I feel personally that it's my place to show them. Um, some sort of [00:05:45] love, some sort of compassion through the food that we serve. So when that chef instructor told me, you're not here to learn to cook, you're here to elevate and to enhance what you already knew, well, let's just say I was already the [00:06:00] oldest in my class, but he knew what dishes were mine because they all had my own signature on it.
Aransas: Do you consider yourself a creative person?
Sherri: Yes. I didn't know how creative I was until coming [00:06:15] here. and not realizing how much I took note of my parents when I was growing up. It took a very creative person to feed six children. There's eight of us in the house. There's six children, but my father's the only one working, but we [00:06:30] ate well every day.
It takes a creative person to be here at the community kitchen for the simple fact that we're a nonprofit. So it's not as though I'm placing orders every day as a restaurant would. But I can take whatever [00:06:45] comes into that door, whatever is donated to us, whatever we're blessed and fortunate to receive, I can take that and with some of the skill set from school, you know, being introduced to new things, different herbs and so forth, taking that [00:07:00] elevating a simple dish up two notches.
Aransas: How beautiful and doing it with that extra ingredient of love. Couldn't do it without it.
Sherri: It's very important to me that the clients that we serve understand that they're special, they're important. And we [00:07:15] recognize that. And we're here to give that to them.
Aransas: What you just said about making people feel loved and special is so, so important because we believe what we're told again and again.
Yes. And if we're [00:07:30] told that we don't deserve good, then that's what we're going to believe. But if people show up for us and tell us, just like your teacher told you, Hey, you have capabilities you don't even know of, right? As a chef, as a leader, we've come to [00:07:45] believe that about ourselves. And so much of, of why we created the Uplifters podcast is to remind one another that we all have doubts and fears.
and that we all have the capability to overcome them. And so when your [00:08:00] teacher said expand upon what you're doing, when the person at the food bank said you have a gift, What was it like for you to see that in yourself and to start to believe the messages they were [00:08:15] telling you?
Sherri: I'm still struggling to believe it.
I know what I'm doing, but at the same time, you know, is this really me? But I know that there are times I really feel like I just get out of myself, especially when I'm in the kitchen. I'm just [00:08:30] someone totally different. We have a very, very important job to do, and that is to see to it that each and every individual that comes in that door, if only for a moment, knows that someone cares about them.
Aransas: What a [00:08:45] gift. To give. How do you show up for the hard stuff?
Sherri: I'm not sure and confident about everything, but when it comes to doing for others, that's just a big deal with me. I mean, it starts from [00:09:00] my upbringing. It starts from me with my daughters. I know what it means to sacrifice. Yeah, I think really, really, really big sometimes, but I can do it.
That's about the only time that I know for a fact that I can say that [00:09:15] there's nothing that I can't do. When it comes to doing for others, and especially feeding, I'll find a way. Is it because it's for other people? Yeah. Would you believe I don't even cook for myself? I [00:09:30] would believe it. I really don't. I get fussed at about that a lot.
I mean, I do, but I don't get the same gratification.
Music: Mm hmm.
Sherri: I don't. You can call me right now and say you want x, y, and z and I'll do it at the drop of a [00:09:45] dime because I know that is something that you want. I know it's going to make you happy and it makes me happy to make others happy. So can you imagine being able to do that?
on a daily basis, knowing that what you're doing is making others [00:10:00] happy. Yeah.
Aransas: And is there anything more foundational than doing something that not only brings people happiness, but also a sense of nourishment and sustenance is taking care of their minds, their bodies, their souls all at [00:10:15] once?
Sherri: All at once.
Because we do know that without that nourishment, our minds just don't work right. We're just no good. We're able to, okay, say, grab a quick bite. I mean, I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And to some, [00:10:30] that's a luxury because they're not able to just do that. So that one meal a day means a lot. So that's why it has to be something powerful.
Aransas: Now I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm distracted.[00:10:45]
That's my favorite for some, I don't know, oh, you can do it anytime. So my grandma always did it by mixing the peanut butter and the jelly together.
Sherri: And mine, I can't do jelly, it must be jam [00:11:00] and it must be spread evenly on the bread. Even the
Aransas: simplest thing though. Yeah, the simplest thing. It gets that signature mark on it.
When you were talking about the creativity and the resourcefulness, I was thinking about my grandma because my great [00:11:15] grandparents were migrant farmers and so they moved with the crops and my grandmother grew up that way and you know, you just make a home wherever you go. And each season they made a new home, they started a new school, they made a new life and then [00:11:30] they moved.
And we always said about my great grandma, she could use every part of the chicken but it's squawk. And if they had had recorders back then, she would have used that too. It sounds like my
Sherri: mom. Exactly. That's what I love most about being here at Food Bank, is that, [00:11:45] like I said, it's a non profit, so it's donations coming in.
It's whatever comes in. And My favorite show has always been Chopped, but to actually that, to become my actual life, my job, you know, to be able to just do that and be [00:12:00] creative, that's like very rare. You can find that. What were you doing before you were a chef? I had my, I cater in business for 10 years.
Prior to that though, I was in nursing school. [00:12:15] And back in 97, before anyone knew anything about lupus, my sister was diagnosed with lupus and she passed it. And at the time I was in nursing school, I literally, I watched her and what [00:12:30] it did to her, I walked away. All I had to do was sit for my state board examination.
I didn't want to be bothered. I was done. And when I started working here, I was engaging with the volunteer. And so she started asking me my story, pretty [00:12:45] much the same you just asked me. And I was telling her. And she's like, wow. She says, we never realized our blessings and which directions we're going.
And I didn't know what she was talking about. I'm like, huh? She said, do you realize that you were blessed [00:13:00] to still be doing what you were supposed to be doing in life? I said, what's that? And she said, serving people. And I never thought about it that way. I walked away from one thing that I always wanted to be, [00:13:15] always, always, always, and ended up doing it in a different way.
Aransas: What did you say to yourself about that decision to leave nursing?
Sherri: That's where I ended up down that dark path of depression because it was [00:13:30] very conflicting because there's something that I always wanted to do. I came that far with two young daughters. I came that far. All I had to do is sit for my state board exam and to walk away from it.
Was I crazy? Was something wrong with me? [00:13:45] But yet I could not deal with that environment knowing and what I just saw my sister
Aransas: go through. I love that story and I ask that question because I do think we can beat ourselves up for our choices and feel like, ah, I made this huge [00:14:00] mistake. I wasted this opportunity.
And yet, how often are those moments of choice that don't necessarily go the way that we expect them to, preparing us for an even greater impact? [00:14:15] There is probably no nurse who gets to feed millions of people, who gets to change millions of lives, no matter how long her career is, but you've prepared over a million meals in the course of just a few [00:14:30] years in this career.
It is the scale of impact, but it's also impact that you couldn't have had, had it not been for that other decision. Right. It was almost like a magnifying glass. Boy, to hear you say it, [00:14:45] I feel even better about it. I'm glad. You deserve that, that mirror back. And I think it's probably a mirror for others as they hear your story.
Thank you. That's even more impact. Now, everybody who [00:15:00] hears this can say, Oh, what are the old stories I'm telling myself that are unfair and unkind and what might this be preparing me for? Because if you listen to, we have almost a hundred episodes on this podcast, if you listen to these hundred stories, [00:15:15] what you get is a huge body of evidence that through every struggle, every challenge, we are preparing for greater impact, greater purpose.
Thanks. And this is just such a beautiful example of that, so thank you. [00:15:30] Thank you. You take care of a lot of people's needs and I know it can be really hard to take care of yourself and you said it's, it's hard to find maybe joy. and cooking for yourself, how [00:15:45] do you show up for yourself so that you can sustain your good work?
Sherri: You know, it's crazy. I'm a very simple person. I've learned to appreciate spiritual solitude. It helps me to think. [00:16:00] It helps me to grow. When you ask about creativity, I mean, some of the things that I think about sometimes just by sitting and being quiet, I've learned to cherish that. Whereas, there was a time you'd run from, some would say it's being [00:16:15] alone.
No, it's not being alone. I've come to learn who I am. I've taken care of my daughters. They're doing very well. My oldest has two degrees from NYU. And I'm starting to sit back and smell the roses, so to speak. [00:16:30] Literally. I love flowers. I will go and sit by a body of water. I'll just go sit there for hours before you know it, day turns into night.
I'm just watching. I'm thinking, what can I do next? How can I, not [00:16:45] only for myself, but how can I change some of my thought processes to help me to grow, so that I can expand, so that I can do more, so that I can take something simple and just make it [00:17:00] grow. You know, what can I do for the other person, but I have to learn to like myself and to be with myself.
And for a long time, I couldn't do that.
Aransas: How did you learn that?
Sherri: Sometimes, you know, you got to learn the hard way. I have [00:17:15] two very headstrong daughters like their mother. Hey, you know and they'll get on me. Hey, what did you do? What did you do this weekend? What'd you do today? What you're gonna do? No, you need to get sometimes I do it just because I know they're gonna ask me So [00:17:30] they have always been my little support system as they were younger and as adults they still are
Aransas: My teenage daughters just walked in from school, as you were talking just now, and they are both headstrong, and they are, they [00:17:45] are my greatest accountability.
They don't let me mess around.
Sherri: No, they won't. I don't care what it is. It could be friendships, relationships, jobs,
Aransas: whatever. It's the best though. I want them to challenge me. I want them to make me better. Yes. [00:18:00] One of the things I heard and what you were just saying is that part of how you take care of yourself is not just through solitude, but through continuous growth.
Yes. So what do you believe about learning now at age 60? [00:18:15]
Sherri: That there's always room for growth. You're never too old. I don't know everything. I want to learn new things. That's what keeps you young and vibrant and keeps your mind open. You have to be able to grasp new things. Because when you know everything.
That's a [00:18:30] problem.
Aransas: What dreams do you still have? Chef Sherry?
Sherri: My biggest dream right now to own my own home. Ooh. It's just something that I have to have. I always wanted to be [00:18:45] that place. where everyone always knew that they were welcome. And also, hey, to sit and just to cook my heart out all day. What else is there?
People and food? Straight
Aransas: happiness? I believe that things [00:19:00] come at the time when we are ready to receive them. And that our life experience teaches us what we really want and need. And these years at the food bank have probably taught you an awful [00:19:15] lot about what you really want that house and that space to be.
Sherri: Yeah.
Aransas: So what does the plan look like to make that a reality? We want it to happen,
Sherri: but I'm learning as I've gotten older that it happens [00:19:30] when it's supposed to happen.
Music: Mm hmm.
Sherri: So I may have said two years ago, this is what I want. Maybe two years ago, I probably would have tried to make it happen, but it also might not have been the right time for it to [00:19:45] happen.
Aransas: You certainly wouldn't have known everything you know now.
Sherri: No. And learning to be patient.
Aransas: That's a hard one to learn.
Sherri: It is very hard, especially when you are used to doing, well, I had to do for myself and the [00:20:00] girls. So it was do now and that's that. So I'm learning how to just relax
Aransas: a little bit. That's a hard one to rewire.
It is. When we've been in a state of urgency. For a long time.
Sherri: And I'm reminded of it all the [00:20:15] time. Hey, yeah, yeah, you're right. I have to slow down a little bit.
Aransas: Yeah. I have to tell myself all the time, there is enough time for what most needs to happen.
Sherri: Right.
Aransas: Because otherwise I get all anxious and stressed out about not getting enough done fast enough.
Sherri: Isn't that [00:20:30] anxiety the worst?
Aransas: Yeah. It's so hard. And it drains us of our creativity. Yes. Well, here's to letting it take the time it needs. And at 50, it was a real [00:20:45] act of courage. and trust to take on a new career, to listen to others, to be mentored. And then here you are at 60 doing the same for so many other people.
You [00:21:00] are such a true service driven person. It is where you find your strength in serving others.
Sherri: Yes. And you just defined my mother and father.
Aransas: Well, there you have it. [00:21:15] And I bet there's a lot of that in your girls.
Sherri: Yes, there is.
Aransas: And there will be a lot of that in the children and people that they influence.
Sherri: Well, at least for the oldest, she's a social worker, psychiatric social worker, mind you. [00:21:30] Wow. Boy, you would think you knew me forever. You let people in. Actually, I don't. Well, I feel very lucky. Thank you. That's, yeah, I don't, so you should and I'm not being funny by saying that, but yeah.
Aransas: Thank [00:21:45] you. I'm so glad I got to meet you.
Sherri: Thank you. I think I needed this because I feel very relaxed. I can go in there and start all over again.
Aransas: Thank you for listening to the Uplifters podcast. If you're getting a boost from [00:22:00] these episodes, please share them with the Uplifters in your life. And then. Join us in conversation over at theuplifterspodcast.
com, head over to Spotify, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your [00:22:15] podcast and like, follow and rate our show. It'll really help us connect with more uplifters and it'll ensure you never miss one of these beautiful stories. Mmm.
Music: Big love [00:22:30] painted water, sunshine with rosemary. And I'm dwelling the perplexing, though you find it ing.
Toss a star in half for be around best love for relish [00:22:45] in a new prime land. A tree in springtime dance with ale. Hindsight. Bring the sun to twilight. Lift you up, whoa, Lift [00:23:00] you up, whoa, Lift you up, whoa,
Lift you up. Lift you up, [00:23:15] woah. Lift you up, woah. Lift you up, woah. Lift you up, do do [00:23:30] do. Do do do
Aransas: do. Beautiful! I cried.
Music: It's that little thing you did with your voice. Right? In the pre chorus, right? I was like [00:23:45] Mommy, stop crying. Mommy, stop crying. You're disturbing the peace.