The Unwritable Rant - podcast cover

The Unwritable Rant

Juliette Mirandawww.theunwritablerant.com
Join author and occasional misanthrope Juliette Miranda for bourbon-soaked personal stories and celebrity interviews. From misadventures working in the music industry, dating disasters and an incautious life with "her guy," Juliette knocks back 30 minutes of relatable, revealing, and comically real stories. She occasionally invites top comedians, actors, and musicians to join her and share their own stories about life and more. Every episode is paired with a short bourbon review, because all good stories should come with a side of booze.
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Episodes

Ep 173 - Monkee waves, funeral zingers, and jabbed by a straw

On this episode, Juliette carries a soft spot, divvies up the blame, is betrayed by undelivered mail, ranks as a dingo, takes an old school approach, hugs a Brady, waves to Monkees, annoys everyone, dismisses a sermon, witnesses the devil’s handshake, makes a buying error, and considers the turtles… all while drinking W.L. Weller Special Reserve bourbon.

Mar 03, 201929 minEp. 173

Ep 171 - Bad decisions, jailbirds, and a Galentine’s Day massacre

Juliette questions a fake holiday, receives a surprising call, helps Texas avoid a wet spot, introduces Vanderbilt and cousin Shelia, considers drug lording, ducks a book attack, rethinks baseball, forgets a crucial tool, swings a chair, and waits for sirens… all while drinking Joseph Magnus Murray Hill Club blended bourbon.

Feb 17, 201925 minEp. 171

Ep 170 - Juicy secrets, rookie mistakes, and soft core spying

Juliette returns to her 21st birthday, takes manipulative advice, maintains a juicy secret, trips over her order, contemplates telltale signs, knows her way backstage, hands out scraps, books solo vacation, admits a beachy love, avoids her friends, envies cool confidence, misses the obvious, parts the curtains, and flails like a circus seal... all while drinking Glenfiddich Winter Storm scotch whisky.

Feb 03, 201929 minEp. 170

Ep 169 - Abstract thinking, a tomb on wheels, and patient zero

Juliette contemplates serial killer storage, returns to college, accepts a bribe from Doc, confronts torsos, encounters a tomb on wheels, fears a living dead situation, understands revenge motivation, trudges through a blizzard, and makes a deathly delivery… all while drinking Resilient straight bourbon whiskey barrel #98.

Jan 27, 201926 minEp. 169

Ep 168 - Interview with Anthony Cumia

Juliette welcomes Anthony Cumia back to the show. Anthony discusses his new book, "Permanently Suspended," the ongoing feud with Opie, Louis CK, freedom of speech, and so much more.

Jan 20, 201926 minEp. 168

Ep 167 - Bad business, sticky surfaces, and a bag full of weevils

Juliette puts on her business head, finds an alternative profession, gets into something awful, admits to shady ethics, questions the muse, completes the deal, caters more than expected, hacks into a sad reality, longs for a lap, capitalizes on cracks, and finishes her cookies… all while drinking Barrell Bourbon Batch 17.

Jan 13, 201928 minEp. 167

Ep 166 - Pen pal predicament, analog hustle, and unwelcome ecstasy

Juliette ponders technology, delights in sending letters, finds more grown-up interests, drowns in uncomfortable declarations, gets called into the office, plays an unwilling character, weeds out weirdos, does an analog hustle, receives an Ego, finds her eyes polluted, and appreciates the genius of her friend Crazytown... all while drinking Willet Family Estate 4-year small batch rye whiskey.

Jan 06, 201928 minEp. 166

Ep 165 - Armageddon paraphernalia, millennium hysteria, and mechanized revenge

Juliette revisits the millennium, hates The Warden, gets circled by a peeing peacock, deflects seething balls, lines a desk with weed, prepares for the worst, alludes to a serial killer, attends a sleeper, considers a time out, fears 10 years of prison, stands accused, and settles the score on the worst ever New Year's Eve... all while drinking Jim Beam Distiller's Masterpiece bourbon.

Dec 30, 201830 minEp. 165

Ep 164 - Green-tinted spirit, stripper scruples, and a half-naked Christmas militia

Juliette is still in the holiday spirit, and admits to questionable beliefs, dabbles in rock stars, calls in The Pro, arrives in a chariot, visits a neon pink utopia, gets a spite lap dance, ignores her own rules, sends out a distress signal, slices up panties, and enjoys good company… all while drinking Peerless barrel proof straight rye whiskey.

Dec 16, 201824 minEp. 164

Ep 163 - Bat slugging, gross misinterpretations, and Mr. Bennet’s bird

Juliette questions the validity of DNA results, finds family tree crazy, visits an atomic wonderland, bartends past bedtime, mistakes Santa Claus, witnesses a massacre to a classic, appreciates the Budweiser clydesdales, experiences Christmas spirit, attempts to grant a wish, relates a perversely happy memory, and disturbs Mr. Bennet’s bird… all while drinking Orphan Barrel Rhetoric 25-year old bourbon.

Dec 09, 201827 minEp. 163

Ep 161 - A five-pound nut sack, crazy mixtures, and a straggler's Thanksgiving

Juliette visits Whiskey acres distillery, stares down a steamy mash pool, reduces into a cardboard box, accepts a Thanksgiving invitation, tests a heating system, evokes The Great Dismal Swamp, scrapes off char, visits a Laurel Canyon cottage, gets dangerously festive, consults pioneers, empties a room, picks out shrapnel, and appreciates recipes and the lack thereof... all while drinking Basil Hayden Dark Rye whiskey.

Nov 18, 201825 minEp. 161

Ep 160 - Nashville bar eviction, borrowed identity, and securing a scooter

Juliette heads to Nashville with her guy to bash a country bar, fear alien subliminal messages, hunt down real country music, heckle a band, take on the sidewalk, assume a new identity, snag complementary cheese, break up a posse, secure a scooter, and keep it classy ... all while drinking Whiskey Acres 5.5 bourbon.

Nov 11, 201834 minEp. 160

Ep 159 - Interview with A.E. Hotchner Revisited

Juliette revisits her conversation with author A.E. Hotchner in celebration of his 101st birthday, literary career, and life. "Hotch" discusses his friendship with Ernest Hemingway, explores Hemingway's most important relationships and work, and even reveals Hemingway's favorite drink. This interview was originally released in October 2015, and remains Juliette's most personal and memorable. A.E. Hotchner is a memoirist, novelist, playwright, and biographer. He has just released a new novel, " T...

Nov 04, 201837 minEp. 159

Ep 158 - Interview with Dave Landau

Juliette is joined by comedian Dave Landau. Dave is co-host on The Anthony Cumia show and discusses his approach to broadcasting, how his start at Second City influenced his comedy, writing and producing movie The King, the importance of satire, and his plans to write a memoir and another film. Find info about Dave’s comedy tour at http://davelandau.com/ . Listen to Dave on The Anthony Cumia show at https://www.compoundmedia.com/ ....

Oct 28, 201827 minEp. 158

Ep 157 - Ghostly interactions, befriending Leatherface, and a real shocker

Juliette visits a haunted New Orleans ballroom, twirls with a ghost, takes on a tour guide, loses her guy to the supernatural, contemplates explanations, fakes interest, dismisses a scare, lingers with clowns, and stumbles into a shocking situation… All while drinking Driftless Glen single barrel straight bourbon whiskey.

Oct 21, 201832 minEp. 157

Ep 156 - Sneaking in, reality transgressions, and a wacky witch of the Midwest

Juliette tells a secret, has a raunchy conversation, plays Rapunzel, welcomes a transgression, feels sophisticated, has an annoying wake-up, falls out a window, gets a tarot card reading, meets Glinda the Wacky Witch of the Midwest, practices magic in the kitchen, backslides onto the band wagon, is guilted into a ceremony, and avoids bonding spirits... all while drinking Woodford Reserve Distiller's Select rye whiskey.

Oct 13, 201833 minEp. 156

Ep 155 - Rebranding Charlie, blood baths, and one epic Halloween party

Juliette honors a tradition, harbors resentment, hires vampires, mitigates molesting, stalls a kingpin, experiences a blood feast, takes on toxic combos, diffuses the situation, goes for the cliché, and avoids a wild attack… all while drinking Pikesville 6-year straight rye whiskey.

Oct 06, 201828 minEp. 155

Ep 154 - Attack tots, classy lessons, and overripe banana parts

Juliette falls into a rotten mood, sneaks in a flask, gets her oompah on, appreciates a fat feast, hates the human voice, misses a tot shot, shares a classy lesson, is asked a favor, gets situated with Satan, channels Mr. Rogers, plays an evil emperor, and lands like a bum… All while drinking Redemption 9-year barrel proof bourbon.

Sep 30, 201828 minEp. 154

Ep 153 - Carnival catastrophe, reckless freedom, and a risky seduction scene

On this episode, Juliette recalls a ramshackle amusement part, knocks out teeth, introduces the legend of Vic, fears a monstrosity, spins out a mistake, issues a cease fire, takes a few chances, reveals shady cheats, channels Lucifer, seduces a guitarist named Sledge, declines an untoward request, and drives like hell. This episode's whiskey pick is Rabbit Role rye whiskey.

Sep 22, 201832 minEp. 153

Ep 152 - Interview with KK Downing

Juliette talks with guitarist and founding member of the band Judas Priest. They discuss his new book, Heavy Duty on Da Capo press, KK's influence on the look and sound of Judas Priest, recording some of the band's most popular songs, and KK reveals why he hasn't joined another band since retiring from Judas Priest. Juliette suggests pairing this conversation with Elijah Craig small batch bourbon.

Sep 15, 201823 minEp. 152

Ep 151 - Interview with Jim Florentine

Interview with Jim Florentine: Juliette speaks with comedian Jim Florentine about his book, Everybody Is Awful (Except You). They discuss tour incidents, voicing character Special Ed on Crank Yankers, hidden camera comedy and Meet the Creeps, social media horrors, how media changes audience perception, and the state of comedy today. Juliette suggests pairing this interview with Wild Turkey 101 whiskey.

Sep 09, 201819 minEp. 151

Ep 150 - Consolation watermelon, a cracked-up weasel, and snappy sex toys

On this episode, Juliette reverse engineers chaos, questions her guy's sanity, supports a relationship thunderdome, contemplates fruit aerodynamics, meets The Hustler, is taken for a kinky loop, looks for a leaflet, chokes on giggles, and kisses a fantasy goodbye... All while drinking Smooth Ambler Big Level wheated bourbon.

Sep 02, 201827 minEp. 150

Ep 149 - Reversing a blow-off, job stalking, and knocking out a girl squad

The three-year anniversary episode! Juliette takes inexcusable actions, considers a buffet of boyfriends, gets blown off, hunts down a job, thinks like a predator, causes a scene, dodges a delivery truck, gets squad envy, introduces Texas to Crazytown, plans a nightmare, ruins dinner, decides to get drunk, allows a right hook and makes an Oregon Trail comparison... All while drinking Redemption wheated bourbon. Special thanks to comedian Reverend Bob Levy and Ronnie Platt, lead singer for the cl...

Aug 26, 201836 minEp. 149

Ep 148 - Lost and found in New Orleans, an aquatic treasure, and generous strangers

On this episode, Juliette and her guy visit New Orleans, get blindsided by panic, hear teeth rattle, receive a mystery box, make questionable shopping decisions, reveal a glittery surprise, preside over cocktails, mourn a loss, pass through doorways, visit with vodou, share a doorstep, meet Mateo, discover Doneska and her swayback horse, and revel in findings... all while drinking barrel strength Bulleit bourbon.

Aug 19, 201827 minEp. 148

Ep 147 - Couple cruising, perverse overreactions, and meditating on mayhem

On this episode, Juliette packs up her misgivings, sails away, meets Mr. and Mrs. Barnacle, scowls behind a pineapple, runs away from conversation, feels breath on her neck, lets the drugs take over, contemplates meditation, enjoys driveway drinking with Texas, bothers a neighbor, defends her cat, and celebrates creative expression… all while drinking Woodford Reserve double oaked bourbon whiskey.

Aug 04, 201831 minEp. 147

Ep 146 - Red carpet legalities, trade show subterfuge, and digging for bones

On this episode, Juliette takes direction poorly, goes two sizes too small, meets Hollywood heroes and hacks, walks a red carpet, follows a legal flunkie, contemplates signing on, revisits her paleo-ornamentum period, digs Mazon Creek, scales shale, comes to a dirty stop, and curates an Indiana Jones moment... all while drinking Rebel Yell ginger whiskey.

Jul 29, 201832 minEp. 146

Ep 145 - Summer of Svengoolie, mangling the floor, and a Blinky bootleg shop

On this episode, Juliette comes off a bender, participates in The Last Drive-In event with Joe Bob Briggs, interns for Svengoolie, chucks chickens, dims her brain bulb, knocks on a coffin, hears voices, mimes her ego, enjoys a group activity, meets Blinky, plays hide and seek, realigns her moral compass, visits a bootleg shop and considers an old-fashioned house burning... all while drinking Jim Beam Black bourbon.

Jul 22, 201830 minEp. 145

Ep 144 - A fearless fire chaser, mixing wormwood and cheese, and a 90-year July Santa

On this episode, Juliette returns to Michigan with her guy to see Mongo and The Dish, demonstrates etiquette, creates a weird herbal ball, saturates an ant hill, funds a fireworks tent, fears a burning hat, visits the Howler Monkey bar again, meets Santa, gets a busy signal, makes a winning call, promises greatness, and changes her playlist... All while drinking Gentleman Jack Daniels whiskey.

Jul 15, 201825 minEp. 144
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