Welcome to your weekly Classroom Management Quick Win Challenge . True classroom management is not how we address behavior when it pops up . Instead , it is a compounding effect of many , many micro decisions we make in our teaching practice before the behavior even pops up .
In these Quick Win episodes I'm handing over one actionable , small but mighty tool to help you move the needle every single week to stop crowd controlling and to start calmly classroom managing like a pro . Let's dive into this week's game changing challenge .
Hello , lovely teachers , welcome back to Quick Wins , where I just give you one small thing you can immediately action every single week . That's going to compound and compound over time to incredible change . I have probably mentioned it a few times on this podcast , but in high school things were quite tough for me . I had a lot going on .
I had to grow up quite quickly . I didn't feel very safe or seen or heard , and my behaviors at school definitely told that story . I was disruptive . I was sent out of class a lot . I'd skip class just to go and smoke in the bushes . Our school was in the middle of nowhere and it was surrounded by bushland , so there were plenty of places to run away to .
During school time I'd be told off by my teachers constantly and I did not give a single crap . You know how you try to talk to students about their behavior and they just say I don't care or maybe F off . That was definitely me , and one teacher stuck in my mind as clear as day and this episode is dedicated to her .
But once I was out in the bushes smoking instead of being in art , and my year advisor came out and busted me and she started giving me a hard time and I said , oh , fuck off . And she could have done a number of things when she busted me smoking in the bushes and I said fuck off to her . She could have .
By the way , this is another explicit episode , if you didn't realize , because I think when we're talking about behaviors , I don't want to sense that , I don't want to gloss over that , because we need to be able to know , like I don't know .
It just seems silly if I'm trying to support you through challenging behaviors , but I can't even say what they say or what I said in this situation . But this teacher , she could have just read me the right act . She could have , you know , threatened to call my mom or given me a detention or a scab duty .
Did everyone else have scab duties or was that just an Australian thing where you were told to go and pick up rubbish ? But she just said , claire , what is going on ? And I was taken aback and I remember that moment so clearly because I was tough and I was a bit of a shit . Clearly because I was tough and I was a bit of a shit .
And she was the first teacher to not make that about them and recognize that something was going on with me and it was the mid 2000 . So there was not a lot of social emotional work in this happening in schools at that time , trust me .
But in that moment she chose connection and my walls immediately dropped and my tough exterior that I had worn like a shield for many years , it just melted away and I sat in the dirt sobbing and I sought her out the next day to apologize for swearing at her and she was able to address my behavior when I felt calm , seen and had buy-in .
So , yes , she said what the hell was going on there , like you told me to fuck off and you were in the bushes smoking when you should have been in class .
Like what was happening she was able to talk to me about my behaviors , but she was able to do so in a way that I had complete buy-in to , rather than me just completely shutting off , which I did most of the time .
I was just shut off when people were talking to me about my behaviors Cause I'm like you don't give a crap about me , you don't care what's going on . And I actually listened to her .
I listened to her lecture me about the dangers of smoking and how I shouldn't swear , and blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , because she followed the mantra that I spoke about in that last episode . She made a decision in that moment that brought us closer together rather than driving us further apart .
She made a decision to connect with me over disconnect with me . So today's quick win is this just start with connection . So if you see a behavior happening to say hey , you , okay , what's going on that's unlike you . Is something going on ? Like whoa , that was unexpected . What's happening ? Are you all right ?
If there's a behavior that happens , you know every student is not going to respond the way that I did . Not . Every student is going to drop their walls and immediately have this big breakthrough with the teacher , but it will give you a far better chance every single time of getting buy-in , that you need to make the changes that are needed .
Every single time , I mean every time it is going to be the best option for you to start with connection . So this week , what I'd like you to do is write it in your diary , on a sticky note , on the back of the toilet door , wherever you're going to see it Connection is never the wrong answer .
Behavior is complicated , behavior is nuanced , it's complex , it's all of the things , but that one sentence just makes it so much easier . Connection is never the wrong answer . Start with connection . Are you okay ? Hey , what's going on ? That's unlike you . Is there something going on ? Whoa , that was an unexpected comment that you just made towards me .
What's happening ? You're right , cause that doesn't sound like you . Again , not every student will have that response . However , it's always going to give you the best chance of buying , of connection , of change . Have a wonderful weekend , teachers , and don't forget to take care of yourself , because this work is a hell of a lot harder .
If you don't , I shall speak to you next week .