S1 Ep3: Cracking Up and Crashing Down

up thief yeah no I'm trying it's just a little difficult carrying all your stuff please when I was six I had to carry twice that amount of ten flights of stairs every morning before breakfast because your parents were sadists because I was learning how to be a prince And when you're a prince, you have the entire weight of your kingdom on your shoulders, which means you have to be able to carry any burden. Interesting theory. So what else did your princely training consist of? My training?

The usual, riding, archery, proficiency in sword, rapier, and dagger. Oh, sure. Also spears, lances, axes, ropes, and lassos, maces and shields, catapults, battering rams, and hand-to-hand combat, of course. Uh, yeah, of course. And then there were my academic studies. Science, mathematics, history, astronomy, oration, law, ethics, biology, commerce, and a smattering of the classical languages. Like I said, the usual. Wait.

You learned all of that? Of course. What do you think a prince does? Lounge around all day throwing balls and dancing at festivals? Yeah. Now, can you imagine doing 18 years of nothing but that? That would be insane. Exactly. So, what are your parents like? Is your mom obsessed with getting you married? Why would she be obsessed with that?

I'm not even 18. Right? Thank you. I knew I wasn't crazy. My mother's only obsession is the destruction of this forest and the safety and protection of our people. Good. I mean, that's good. What did she say when you told her you were coming here? I mean, she must have been pretty proud of you. She wasn't proud of you. You didn't tell her. Oh, wow.

You are going to be in so much trouble. How much longer do you think it will take us to reach the hollow? Hey, don't be embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed. My mother will understand I did what I had to do. Okay, what about your father? Is he still in the picture? I'm sorry. Did I give you any indication I was interested in discussing the personal and private details of my life with a thief? Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Um...

I'll need to get my bearings when we reach the next clearing, but I think we're about a day away. Let's pick up the pace. So, I take it the forest is on the verge of destroying your kingdom as well? That's why I'm here. And the sooner I get to the Hollow, the sooner I can break the curse. Cool, cool, cool. Quick question. How exactly are you planning to do that? None of your business. Right. No, totally. Except...

Since I'm helping you get to the Hollow, some might argue, not me, of course, but someone else, that it kind of is my business. Do you want me to dangle you from a tree again and leave you for some wild beast to devour? No. No, I do not. Then less talking, more marching. Oh, great. Looks like there's a storm moving in. We better find some shelter. Right.

Shelter. See, that's going to be a little tricky. It looks like there's some sort of rock formation up ahead. Maybe we can wait out the storm. In a cave! Yeah, we should go to that rock formation and wait out the storm in a cave. Is it safe? We're not going to find any surprises waiting for us, are we? Uh, no. No, no. I've slept in there hundreds of times. In fact, I actually call them the Caverns of Safety.

We'd better hurry the storms coming in fast. Yeah, yeah, you go ahead I'll catch up in like two minutes nice try start marching You don't understand. I I have to go to the bathroom fine I'll collect some firewood and meet you over by those rocks in exactly two minutes. But if you run off and steal my gear, I swear- Dangle me from a tree until a wild beast devours me. Yeah, I know. I'm aware of the rules of our relationship.

We don't have a relationship. No, I didn't mean a relationship. You're my servant and my guide. And so far, you've been disappointing as both. Two minutes. We don't have a relationship. Oh, look at me. I'm Prince Amir. I'm really brave and really good at literally everything, but don't try to have a conversation with me. I'm too busy brooding and being super intense about everything, which, okay, is actually kind of attractive, especially with those piercing dark eyes.

Okay, focus, Rupert. Don't have time for... whatever this is. Okay, let's see. If that rock formation up ahead is the same group of caves on this map... What does this say? The hatchery. Oh, like chickens. Well, that's great. Maybe we'll find some eggs. Time's up, thief! Coming!

Good thing I'm an amazing guide and led us to this awesome cave, right? Okay, let me guess. We're doing the whole no-talking thing again? Ah, Amir, my friend. You might have been trained to be a great prince, but you are a lousy travel companion. Tell me about the royal family. What? The royal family of the West.

What are they like? Well, well, well. Look who suddenly wants to have a conversation. Never mind. No, no, no, no. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Okay. So, first, there's the queen. Queen Lavinia. Totally means well, but she's a bit of a control freak. Really likes to get her own way. And the prince? Prince Rupert? Oh. Well, I'm only reporting what I've heard, of course, but he seems like...

A pretty great guy. Really? Oh, yeah. Smart, funny, adventurous, brave, obviously. Witty, fast, tall. Generally considered... Very good looking. I mean, I wouldn't say that. That's just what other people say. Honestly, I think if you met him, you'd really like him. Maybe. Unfortunately, if I ever meet your prince, I'll be the last thing he ever lays eyes on. Uh...

Why? Trust me. He knows why. Trust me. He doesn't. We should get that fire built. This storm isn't passing anytime soon. If we end up spending the... What the heck? Did we just get hit by lightning? Well, technically, the cave was hit. Well, technically. Should we get out of here? Trust me. In a storm like this, we're much safer inside than out. Are you sure about that? Actually, now that you mention it, maybe we should start soon.

Are you all right? No, I can't see anything. There's a torch in my satchel. Where are you? I'm here. Don't panic. What do we do? Hang on. Okay, that's better. Now let's see what... Oh boy. That's not good. No, no it isn't. How are we going to get through all these rocks? It'll take days. We'll starve to death. Actually, we'll probably run out of air before we starve to death. How is that better? Would you stop shouting? That's not going to... Wait a second.

Look at the torch. Oh, great. What now? Are we going to burn to death? No, look at the flame. It's moving, which means a breeze is getting in from somewhere, which means... There must be another exit, but that means going deeper into the cave. So? So? So? So? So you want to go deeper into a completely dark and uncharted cave? I thought this was the cavern of safety. Besides, we don't have a choice in the matter. Now grab whatever gear you can salvage and let's get going.

Please let there only be chickens. Please let there only be chickens. Please let there only be... Are you sure this is the right way? Not really. Wow. Was it part of your princely training to be constantly discouraging? I'm following the flow of air, but I have no idea where it's leading us. What more do you want me to say? Well... You could say, don't worry, Fitz, old friend. I've got this whole situation under control. Wow. Is everyone from the West as ridiculous as you? I don't know.

Is everyone from the East as big a snob as you? How am I a snob? You don't like me because I'm a thief. No, I don't like you because you're obnoxious. Obnoxious? I'll have you know back home, I am beloved. Hey! Up ahead. I see something. Stay here. I'm going to check it out. Wait. No. Amir. It could be one of those killer plant things. Amir! It's all right. What? I said it's all right. Come see. What is it?

Wow. Yeah. Is that... Is that what I think it is? It's a dragon's egg. It's beautiful. It must be a fossil. Dragons have been extinct for centuries. No, it's warm. What? Here, touch it, see? It's warm. You're right. Hey, you're smiling. Why shouldn't I smile? This isn't an amazing discovery. Tell me about it. When I was a kid, I dreamed of owning a dragon. I was going to teach to play fetch and fly me around the kingdom. Me too! I mean...

I was curious about dragons, you know, from a scientific perspective. Of course. Also, I was interested in their military application. Amir, it's okay. Dragons are cool. I must have cried for a week when my mother told me there were no more dragons in the world. Oh. I'm sorry. Don't be. I was a silly child with even sillier daydreams. It was a lesson I had to learn. Yeah, but... The lesson was wrong. Yeah. I guess it was. What was that? Please tell me that isn't the egg. Yeah.

Sorry, no can do. This egg is definitely cracking. What are you waiting for? Get your sword out! You're going to fight it? I thought you wanted a dragon as a pet! I was six and that was before I learned that dragons are bloodthirsty monsters that decimate entire villages. What do we do? Don't make any sudden moves.

Amir, it's coming closer. Stay calm. Amir, it's looking right at us. Okay. I'm going to try to pet it. What? No! Are you crazy? I just want to see what happens. He's obviously not as wild as a... I should have asked. I knew this thing was dangerous. Wait, hold on. Let me try something. What are you doing? I'm looking for food. Do you have any? Try the front pocket of my satchel. Got it. Okay, okay, okay. Here, boy. Here, little dragon. Look what your nice friend Fitz has for you. Yeah.

Oh, there you go. Isn't that good? There. You see? Problem solved. Happy dragon. Yeah, for now. What happens when happy dragon turns back into hungry dragon? We'll just have to keep feeding him. With what? We're trapped in here and you just gave that thing the last of my rations. Oh. Yeah, oh. Do you have any idea of how much danger you've put us in? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? How is this my fault?

You're the one who wanted to explore a dark and mysterious cave. Only because my guide promised me it was safe. I can't know everything. Everything? So far it seems like you don't know anything. In fact, I'm starting to think... What was that? We have to get out of here now. And how are we supposed to do that? This is a dead end. As in literally, we're dead. There was a bridge.

It had to be coming from somewhere. Well, maybe there was a side tunnel you missed? I didn't miss anything. Oh, right. I forgot. You were a mirror of the perfect. You never make mistakes. The only mistake I made was trusting my life to someone as incompetent as you. Can you yell at me later and maybe focus on finding a way for us not to die? What, dragon? What do you want? What's he doing? I don't know. He's just clawing at the wall. Wait, wait a second.

Look, down here, there's a passageway. That must be where the breeze is coming from. It's a way out. It's too small. We'll never fit. The dragon just got out. If he can squeeze himself through, we certainly... Look out! Amir? Amir, where are you? Over. Here. Amir, are you alright? I can't move. What? It's my legs. They're pinned under these rocks. I'm stuck. Don't worry. I'll get you out. Don't waste your time. This...

The whole cavern's coming down. You need to get out while you still can. Don't be ridiculous. I'm not leaving you. There's no way you're going to be able to move these rocks. Would you shut up and stop assuming you know everything about me? You need to go. No! That's not how this relationship works. I know you don't think this is a relationship, but it is. Starting now. And the way this relationship works is we don't leave each other behind. Ever. Now push!

I can't believe it. We did it. Are your legs okay? Can you walk? I think so. Good. Then get in that hole and don't stop crawling till you see Skye.

Just try to eat something. You must keep up your strength. How can I eat when Rupert is in that horrible forest? It's very distressing, but according to the prophecy, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Well, why couldn't it happen later? Like after I was dead. What was that? I haven't the faintest. Maybe it's Rupert. Maybe he's back. Your Majesty, come quick. It's a dragon.

A dragon? Don't be absurd, you fools. That's not a dragon. It's a great big wooden ship. She's right. Look there. There must be at least 50 people cranking those wings. Everyone get back. It's coming down fast. Oh, what a remarkable invention I've never seen anything like it. But where did it come from? Oh, I know exactly where it's from. And I know exactly who's on board. They're lowering a gangplank. Someone's coming down!

People of the West, I am Artusa, Queen of the East. I have ridden across the sky on the wings of science to stand on the soil of your backwards little kingdom. And now that I am here... There is only one thing I want. I want my son! The Two Princes was created and written by Kevin Christopher Snipes and directed by Mimi O'Donnell. with performances by Ariel Stachel, Noah Galvin, Alfredo Narciso, Christine Baranski, Matthew Rhys, and Shereh Agdashloo.

Executive producer Mimi O'Donnell, senior producer Katie Pastore, producer Anna Maria Sofilas, associate producer M.R. Daniel. Edited and mixed by Matthew Boll. Sound design by Daniel Brunel. Score by Greg Laswell and Bobby Lord. The Two Princes is a production of Gimrit Media.