¶ Weekly Updates and Trombone Discussions
Well , hello there and welcome to Nick . What is this ?
This is Riffin with Sebia Nick .
Oh man , you just rift that title , I did .
That was hot off the dome .
I'm not sure that's going to stick , but that's what this is going to be called today . So Nick and I were looking at ways of you know posting more consistently .
We hear you , we're flattered that you want more episodes , and we decided , hey , why don't we just record a shorter form weekly episode , just the two of us , in addition to our long form interviews ?
Yeah , I think we'll see what this develops into . It's going to be kind of whatever we want it to be for content curators .
Oh , my God , just stop . Well , we have a few things we want to talk about today . It's been a pretty busy week for me . How's it been for you ? I would say middling , middling , as far as like how fun it's been .
No , just well , that too . I had four performances at the Met and taught a bunch . Taught a bunch this week actually , and was it ? I think I got back from Pittsburgh a week . I don't know when I got back .
Yeah , we had a fun little visit .
That's right . I was just in the Berg . I stayed with Sebi , Sebi Pop Masterson's . It was beautiful .
You shouldn't compare me to a Masterson . That's like a bad word right now . That guy got in trouble , that 70 show guy .
That's not Masterson , is it ? Yeah , isn't it Danny Masterson ? I thought it was Madison or something like that . I'm going to go with Maddie Madison . How about that Cool ? Do you know who Maddie Madison is ? I don't know who's that . He's a Canadian TV chef . I mean , he's a real chef . He has restaurants in Montreal or Toronto .
Yeah , wow , but he's a bigger than life personality . That's a great , great story . Well , it's not my fault . You don't know who Maddie ?
Madison is . So your trip was awesome . You came and worked with my students at Duquesne and it was great . I taught some lessons in my house while I watched Netflix , so my job was super easy . But , yeah , come back more often , man , it's a short flight . Yeah , my week's been kind of weird too . I've been playing a lot of opera .
We're actually playing Flying Dutchman right now , which is crazy , because I've been in the Pittsburgh Opera since 2011 and this is the first Wagner that we've done , which might be surprising to a lot of people , but those in the opera world know that Wagner is one of the most expensive productions to put on . The sets are more expensive , the orchestra often .
You know longer operas , so you'll have to pay the orchestra more . The singers are more expensive , because it's rare to find the singers that can do that type of singing . So you know it's one of the shorter ones , but it's exciting that we're getting to do it .
So I've been doing that and then mixing it with like patriotic brass band show , sometimes in the same day , which couldn't be more different . One thing I do want to talk to you about , though I have been experimenting with a cut bell . Some people call them , you know screw bells and I know you've been playing on one for a while .
Yeah , you decided to . You know , call them oil and have a bris .
Yeah , I mean , I'm still experimenting and yeah , you know , for a long time I thought it was pretty much for portability and travel , but what I'm learning more now is it really is a sound difference and it's a feel difference and it's definitely taken me time to get used to it and there's definite times where , if you play it the wrong way , it doesn't work .
But if you like , let go and trust it . It's like it's pretty incredible , like the core it keeps .
You know , yeah , like I actually bought mine I think it was during the pandemic yeah , it was during the pandemic and I bought it specifically with the idea of portability , that's like that's what I was going to use it for . And then I got it and I started realizing I think I like this better than my uncut belt , because I didn't cut my original bell .
I bought one that was designed to be cut they . They spin them a little bit differently so that it's like the weight Addition of the ring where it screws in .
It's a better way to do it .
Yeah , you have to like lighten it up in certain areas so that the addition of that weight doesn't screw with the whole like resonance of the bell and I mean .
No doubt they're different , right , but I just I found it like better and I can't quite explain why and I doubt it'd be better like across the board , like like every horn would be better with a screw bell or every horn is better without one .
I think it's kind of case by case and person by person , but like I was definitely negative on the idea of screw bells and then I started trying one , or I bought one and it was like whoa , ok , I'm converted . I mean , what's it do for you ? I feel like it like kind of like brings in the walls of the sound .
Yeah , yeah , yeah it's , it's a feel thing , but it's also a sound thing . Like it does change it somehow , and for me I always found that change to be better . Like it helps me with control a little bit more projection , it doesn't hurt that . It's really portable .
Yeah , I mean that part's freaking amazing . Like the first time taking a flight was just heaven and I've always been a purist with most things . Like I don't want anything on my trombone like extra straps . I really want to feel the vibration and I really want that to be pure and that's why I was kind of against it too .
But it's in a way it's , if you think about it holistically , you're just putting an extra like weighted ring at a certain point in your bell . That just gives you more focus and power and if you blow it the wrong way , I feel like the vibration can kind of get stuck in there .
But if you think about like the sound , like resonating on the outside of the bell , it's , it's kind of magical . I definitely feel like it narrows the sound a little bit , so like it's at the very slightest , like I don't hear myself . I feel like as well as I did with my other bell .
But the feedback I'm getting is just every everyone is universally loving how it's sounding . So universally yeah , universally the entire world has emailed me and told me what they think . Speaking of the entire world , you want to hear the latest trombone and Google news alerts ? Oh , boy , do I .
Okay , so this is going to be a segment on our show , riffing with what we call this , riffing with the bass and fudge master . Yeah , okay , let's check . Let's check , okay . Trumbone shorty , trumbone , shorty , trumbone , shorty , trumbone , shorty , trumbone , champ . All right , that about sums it up .
Wow , man , what an amazing week for news in the trumbone world .
Yeah , I'll keep on this and if you guys find any good news , please send it to us . We'll keep on this Breaking news .
Yeah , so I mean we're going to say this again at the end . But yeah , please send us like any interesting topics you'd like to hear talked about that you find interesting , or like articles that you find , or news stories , whatever that are trombone or music related or just funny whatever . We'll take a peek , give it a good old gander .
Speaking of segments , I think we'll also work . Is GRIPE of the Week . I got a GRIPE . I got a . Gripe , yeah , and just have a chance to just , you know , air your grievances . Literally , I got a ripe gripe .
Oh , I want to hear it Okay . Has this ever happened to you , John Sebastian Vera , where you open your email and you see an offer for a gig and you open it up and it's like whatever the work offer is , and then it says some variation of basically first come for a serve and then you realize that that work offer has been sent to like 20 people .
Yep , nope , I don't even reply to those . Yeah , I don't either , and it's like I understand . If it's like I need someone today , there's an emergency and I don't have time to wait for everybody , that's , that's extenuating circumstances . But like I've gotten offers like that for like a month away and I'm just like like what the hell ?
You know , you can't , you can't just like call one person . It's so disrespectful , you know to everybody .
It's like ringing ringing , ringing a dinner bell and like come and get it .
Exactly , yeah , and it's usually almost exclusively . They're not very good gigs to begin with , right when contractors hire that way . So you know man , can people stop doing that ? Because I feel like there's been an uptake in that lately . Maybe it just feels that way for me , but it's been driving me freaking nuts .
¶ Musicians' Sex Appeal Analysis
I think that is a legitimate first gripe .
Yeah .
That's yeah , I mean that's , it's like a new personal manager and they're like I don't know why people waste all this time emailing people one at a time , just email them all at once , boom .
Settled . Yeah , that's . They're like life hacking , you know . They're like Tim Ferriss four hour work week or whatever it's called .
I'm even kind of annoyed even if it's last minute , though , to get those , because I mean , no matter what , I'm going to respond very quickly . So if they're sending it last minute , it also means they didn't ask you first , which is another thing .
Yeah , that's true .
Unless one of their like members of their group is like , all of a sudden has to run .
But well , that's well , hold on . That's not necessarily true because , like what , if that's their first step of hiring somebody , they didn't even ask an individual .
Like that's kind of assuming , if I understand you correctly , that they asked one or two people and they're like , okay , I'm done wasting time on this , and then they just ask like 15 , 20 people at one . But that could be like the first time . Like the first time they've asked anybody is everybody all at once , and that's even worse . So it's so ridiculous .
But yeah , there's a lot of reasons why it's just so stupid . It's lazy , it's disrespectful , it's like whatever . I mean , I guess , past the issues , we all have issues , but and all the personal managers listen to our podcast .
I'm sure this will fix the problem .
Welcome , welcome to manage and orchestras with Nick and Seb . Why don't we just change our podcast name like this , this segment's name , like 10 times every single episode .
I'm for it . Well , until we settle on what this is called , and we are very welcome to hearing suggestions . So send us an email at trombone retreat at gmailcom with any news , articles or ideas for segments where we're open and we might have the occasional guests pop on here for fun .
It's not gonna be the normal long form interview , but you never know what's gonna happen on the Trombone Weekly . That's what's so that's what .
That's what's so exciting about the Trombone space , you know so unexplored .
We're like astronauts .
You know , well , I just had an idea also that you know we could come up with a bunch of names and put them out there and then have like a vote from our public on which one's the best , and then we can have like a press conference announcing the release of our new name , and we could do it at like FUD rockers in Rockford Illinois or something like that .
Did you just call ?
it FUD rockers , fud rockers , fud rockers .
You get that right Well if you're going , if you're going to the FUDs , you're rucking up . How dare you ? Don't desecrate the sacred name of the Ruck .
Great burgers If you'd FUD rockers if you'd like to sponsor the podcast .
Yeah , we're desperately looking for a beef based sponsorship . Oh yeah , that'd be great .
Forget all these music businesses , let's . We need to get more into food . Hey , I'm here for it . Also , we'd love to have a question and answer segment , and Trombone related whatever related were open to that . So send us questions at tromboneretreatgmailcom .
So this is the aim , for this is going to be weekly , so we found that we're most free on Monday , so we're going to try to record on Mondays , hopefully put it out shortly thereafter , because we're just going to be perfect and I'm not going to need to edit it because we're just seasoned podcasting professionals .
On a closing note , nick , I'd like to share with you an article I've wanted to talk to you about for a while . It's the Mirror UK . The Mirror , the Mirror . I've I've trouble with double R words like R ? U R A L . I can't say it . Not going to try .
Well , it's like on 30 Rock they have the , the , the show that Jenna's on , the movie that Jenna's on called the rural juror , and every word .
Not going to try to say that . So the Mirror wrote an article . You know they have Glenn Miller as the the photo for some reason . Classic . Recently they had a poll where they asked 2000 people to choose the type of musician that they've had the best sex with . Clutch my pearls , and of course these had to be people that have had sex with a musician .
Parents , put your children to bed if you haven't had that talk yet . So obviously I gave it away with the photo of Glenn Miller , but topping the list of the top 10 lovers of all musicians Trumbonist at 16 percent . Let's go Trumbonists , which you and I already know is true , but it's just cool that the world is catching on .
Oh , yeah , you know , just I turned the lights way down low . The lights way down low like my Yamaha side . Oil scented candles Poor .
Oh my God , can you imagine the poison that would be ?
It just felt like petroleum .
Well that that lubricant already looks kind of like something already that we all know .
So , but that's another , that's another episode , so the top that you want to hear the top 10 .
I want to hear the top 10 . Yeah , starting at number 10 with five percent , is the clarinet . I'm personally I'm surprised that even crack the top 10 . Nine were drums drummers .
I guess we're talking I mean in good shape normally you know , very physical instrument you know , physical burn a lot of calories .
They have good pacing , good rhythm . They usually have very nice hair .
I'm thinking like metal drummers .
I guess when I think sexiness , I think less hair . Personally , oh yeah , number eight trumpet bullshit . So I think that I think that's if you , you know , you like , like someone to take charge , be type A and just you know , tell you what to do all the time and put some hips lips and nips into it .
Number seven Piano Pianists you know more introverted , knows how to work by themselves , good with their hands . Checks out , I may or ?
may not be married to a pianist , so go on , that's true .
Number six flute with 10% , little surprising .
I , uh , I have thoughts , but those are going to be internal thoughts for now .
I mean , if you want someone maybe a little more on the high strung area of the spectrum . Lots of energy .
I think it's pronounced as crazy .
Wow , the flute podcasts are not going to be happy with us . Number five , kind of along the same vein , is violin . I think they're thinking more romance , you know .
Yeah , yeah , Like the earliest violin concerto .
Yeah , like serenade you before dinner .
Like that scene in red violin .
That one scene .
Well , the scene where they open the door and they're like he's playing the violin while they're making love .
Oh , yep , yep , yep , yep . The guy that's like imitating . Uh , what's Paganini ? Paganini , yeah , yeah , yeah . Number four , which is a little cliche saxophone .
I mean they do have the greatest horn riff of all time is on a saxophone .
If this was based on , like the 80s , where there was a saxophone solo on every pop song ever , saxophone might be number one . I mean .
Well , here's the other thing , and it's a very important distinction that I'm kind of sensing some shoddy journalism here . To be honest , Saxophone needs to be defined as specifically jazz saxophone , because classical saxophone isn't anywhere on this list .
I think you're , I think that's accurate , and I know someone who's going to be upset at me for saying that I have to say that E-Bear saxophone concerto is as sexy as it gets for me .
I personally like the E-Bear flute sonata so I mean that's why they're both top ten Number three , a bit of a surprise the organ With 14% French horn .
See , that can go either way . French horn players are either like really awesome and cool or super high strong , because they're kind of like they're like half trombone , because they can play real low but then they can play real high , so they're kind of half trumpet personality and you , you've got to run away .
If you talk to a French horn player that says oh , I consider the French horn more of a woodwind instrument , Run away People say that oh yeah , what are you friends with ?
Wow , yeah , I mean French horn a little of the trumpet personality because it's just such a hard instrument and so many solos . They kind of got to be type A a lot of the time , especially if you're playing first or third . But yeah , fourth horn , Top ten lovers yeah , yeah . Fourth horn , that's probably the best lover .
Okay , number two not surprised by this one guitar , oh yeah , the classic guitar at a bonfire .
Oh yeah , and the type of person you know , this person that plays a guitar in a setting like that but makes just strong eye contact with you the whole time .
Mmm . Now , this is one I will say . The category of guitarist doesn't matter , unlike saxophone .
Yeah , any type of guitar classical guitar , you could argue , is the sexiest in a lot of ways .
I would say , like acoustic , james Taylor is probably going to be the sexiest overall to the widest amount of people . James Taylor does it for you , huh .
I like a tall ball drink of water from Long . Island . That's like softly it sounds like easy listening but he's talking about like drug addiction . Yeah , it's like talking about withdrawal from heroin . Yeah , I've seen fire and I've seen rain and then we come to number one with trombone at 16% and you know , do I know why ? I mean , could I put into words ?
I don't know . I mean , how do you describe colors to someone who's colorblind ?
Yeah , there you go .
How do you ?
describe the smell of morning dew to someone who doesn't have their sense of smell . Michael Jordan played back .
Michael Jordan played basketball . Tiger Woods played golf . Tiger Woods played golf . Trombone players loved . I also have the bottom five , which is I think they nailed this Okay . Can I take a guess ? Because ?
I really don't know this . Yeah , let's see how many in the bottom five you can guess .
Yeah , let's see how many in the bottom five you can guess . Yeah , let's see how many in the bottom five you can guess . Um , oboe , oboe is number five , 3% , that is . That is . That is accurate Bassoon ? Surprisingly no , but my guess is probably because most people on the survey don't even know what a bassoon is . Okay , Viola . Surprisingly no .
But again , maybe same thing .
I think there could be an argument for Viola to be in the top 10 instead of violin . I mean number one is Tuba . Yeah yeah nailed it 0.5% .
I didn't even guess . I just told you that it is .
Sorry , Tuba players .
Yeah .
You're working against the odds there .
If enough people knew what a euphonium was , that would be number one for sure .
Yeah , let's just put euphonium and Tuba in the same category . Accordion Number two Very good , I'm surprised you got that one , but you know Argentinian type of stuff that can be a little atherapythola .
Well , that's not accordion , that's bandonion . Oh , that's right , bandonion , bandonion , okay .
Okay , so two more . Okay , One surprising one and one that you probably won't guess . Huh , I would put theremin on here for sure .
Herdy Gertie . Oh God , I said bass . Is that on there ? No , that's surprising too . I feel like bass should be on the top list .
Agreed . Yeah For all the bass players . I'm waiting for marriage , mom , don't worry . Okay . Number four yeah , cello , okay .
All right , poppycock .
You disagree ? Disagree . Yeah , I think Cello is much sexier than violin or flute . Yeah , yeah . And then number three , with only 2% of the top five . Worst is ukulele , but I mean , imagine a big , sexy Hawaiian man playing for you .
Yeah , like is Like somewhere over the rainbow . Yeah , that was a big hunk of love right there .
Yeah , I think he died , didn't he die ? He did die , he did die . Oh man , maybe because he loved too much . Just loved his heart was too big . That wraps it up . I think this is a very accurate article , clearly based in lots of science , so there's nothing that we can disagree . Oh , there's like quotes from people . Yeah , this is terrible .
Oh God .
Good article ,
¶ Trombone Talk's First Episode Summary
oh my God . One trombonist accounts boss , Gary Fletcher , 45 of high white comb bucks , said he wasn't surprised at the results of the study . He added at first I thought it was a bit of a duff instrument , but as I got better I realized it was a magnet for attracting the opposite sex . Uh-huh .
Yeah , this person definitely like lives in their mom's basement .
I mean , as all trombonists know , we have to sneak out the back door at every concert because the throngs of groupies , no autographs , no autographs , the underwear thrown on stage , yeah , yeah . Well , nick , I think that that about sums up our first episode . What do you think ?
I think this was a very fun experience and obviously we'll see how this grows and where it goes . And you know I'm just excited to do the trombon breakdown with Seb and Nick .
You know , is that another title Correct ? Yeah , I'm good , that was very subtle . I think what we've really done , we've scheduled our friendship , which I kind of like you know , no matter what , we're devoting our personal time , which I'm probably devoting more time to talking to you than my family right now .
Well , you know , our friendship is becoming like a Swiss train scheduled , and it's on time .
We're so cocky , we've done one episode and we're just like yep nailing it Exactly . Efficiency , All right . How are we going to wrap up this episode ? Do we need the tagline , or something ?
Remember that fifth position has feelings too . Wow , wow .
Okay , there you have it . Probably not . Probably not going to stick with that one . Yeah , we can come up with new taglines too , and I encourage everyone out there to make it a great day . Bye فون .