Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the toast and happy Friday after such a successful toast to we and like. It's giving, we deserve this. We earned it. But it's just so weird to have Toastoween like in the middle of the week and then to have another episode. I'm really feeling like for a number of reasons, Halloween should fall on a Friday. I know that it's like about the date and not the day, but.
A Friday Halloween is pargy on so many levels. I mean, of course, it's a holiday. And like, why would we be doing anything else like working or? And we could just like enjoy Halloween vibes for three days and then call it a day as opposed to like this eight day. Yeah. Weirdness. Well, I had like kind of a terrible Halloween yesterday after Toasterween, which we'll get into, which was so fabulous. I did not get a singular, singular trick-or-treater.
That is really crazy. I had the opposite experience. I actually wasn't home for the trick-or-treaters. We are the sort of house that just leaves a bowl by the door. Help yourselves in a spritz bucket. Oh, of course, in a spritz bucket. Gotta teach the youth. Gotta teach youths. Maybe they'll say, what's this spritz? Do a little, hopefully, 21 plus. Did you get any... Like kids stealing candy on like do you have like a camera or something? I watched my camera footage. Everyone like was super.
Respectful. Respectful. They took a respectful amount. But also like, again, no one like came and pillaged, which was nice. But I mean, in this day and age when everybody has like a camera or a ring camera to be a pillager, like you have to be dumb as hell. Yeah, it's really true. And I was like, you know, being mindful of that myself at other people's homes because we had a good mix of neighbors out and about like excited about Halloween. We had some buckets. We really pounded the pavement.
We went hard. I mean, I got a lot of candy too. The candy that I bought for the kids that never came, so I just ate it all myself. But that works. Yeah, I mean, candy's candy no matter where it comes from, but it's a fun part of adulthood to open the door and see the kids with the smiles on their face. Nothing. That is so crazy.
that also means that one day like your building is not going to be trick-or-treating friendly like for your family I know well I now I saw like so many videos there are a couple of blocks in the city that are like famous for like having basically like Halloween block parties where the people on the block like
pay themselves to like throw big parties it's mostly um streets that are like lined with brownstones and townhouses as opposed to like tall skyscraper buildings and they decorate their porches and the stairs and they literally get into one they put out speakers like i saw all apparently like it was celebrity um filled in the west village like andy co and that crew i saw uh adriana what's her name
Irina Shayk Bradley Cooper going together with Anne Hathaway like everyone was out and about West Village is famous for it there's a couple of blocks on the Upper East Side and I was feeling so much FOMO not that I would have gone but like where are my kids yeah yeah that's That's a bummer. But the good thing about Toasterween is that like it gets you celebrating Halloween. Like you had a busing Halloween. You dressed up and you can kind of call it on Halloween even if nothing else happens.
A thousand percent. And Toast to Bean was such a blast yesterday. Like, we just have to talk about how I love doing a costume that nobody guessed. Like, and because it's kind of a timeless, it's not a very topical costume. It's just an eternal pop culture reference. So nobody thought we were perhaps going to go into that.
archives and i feel like now for toasted wings of the future like no one really can guess because maybe we'll do something well that's what we did with high school musical too like it's always been an option that we could do famous sisters throughout history
And I love that we kept the sibling. We almost didn't do siblings this year because we couldn't really think. And I love that we kept doing siblings. It was so funny. Ben was such a star. Yeah, Ben really makes the episode. He is the cherry on top. He was so funny. He loves to dress up as a girl. Like, and he like.
I was very thankful to him. And like, you know, he cleared his whole morning for us. He was here making TikToks, like helping move cameras around. Like, great, great, great. And so, of course, you want to be grateful to that person. But like, I just know he loved every minute of it that like I really don't even feel like I have to say thank you. Scratch my back, I scratch yours. Like I helped him flex that muscle where once a year he dresses like a woman. Yeah. And he helps me with the content.
It's a beautiful win-win situation. It is a beautiful win-win situation. Now, I know that you watched the Martha documentary last night. Did you finish it? I did. And we have a story about it. So I think I'll make it the fifth story so that we could go into a recap. Because I know it just came out also, so maybe you haven't watched it yet.
Without going into our recap right now, accidentally, I'll just say you should watch it. I'll just say it was the best piece of content I've seen in my life. I literally would lay my life out on the line for Martha Stewart. the entire nation, namely one James Comey. Oh, Martha Stewart, an apology. We all do. And not me, because I wasn't even- I'm going into our recap now. We'll leave it at that.
Yeah, and fuck Jim Comey. And, you know, I had heard that name before. He's kind of like in the political landscape, right? Yeah, he's the director of the FBI, so a little bit in the landscape. And I feel like he was, like, fired or something. And he has his own movie about him. Do you remember that? I think it's called Comey. No. Now all I really know about him is what he did to Martha Stewart. And let me just say he's on my list. I hate. Yeah. Comey movie. Oh, it's not coming up. It's.
Oh, the Comey rule. Yeah, he was played by Jeff, this guy from Dumb and Dumber. No, he looks like Jeff. Daniels. Jeff Daniels. Well, like, seriously, nobody cares about you. That's why nobody knew about your movie. And what you did to Martha Stewart is a disgrace. And I literally hate you. But we won't get into our recap now. But we won't get into our recap. Now, we have a fabulous show. We've got stories. We've got Queenie and Weenie. What do we not have? We do not have Deer Toasters.
I know there's a strong but mighty community, a small but mighty community of Deer Toaster stans. The week just kind of got away from us. Like, yeah, we could shove it in today, but let me rush Queenie and Weenie and the Martha recap. We kind of missed it.
We did miss it. We like we've been kicking the ball down the field the whole week. We couldn't do it Wednesday because the Kurds wouldn't have been able to withstand Thursday. Of course, like it just was toast to wean. And now it's Friday and it didn't happen. So. Better luck next week. Yeah. Maybe we'll see where we're at. Maybe like Deer Toasters just for next week.
If Monday or Tuesday and I could see Tuesday being a dry day because it's election day and no one's stepping out of line except for Erica Girardi to file for divorce. No, I will be behaving on Tuesday. Like I value my life and my job. I could see like the news being quiet. because the big news is taking place. So like maybe we slip in a DT on a quiet election day.
Yeah, and I think we'll all be looking for distractions anyways, so that would be a good option. So I wanted to acknowledge and apologize to the DT. Apologize. To the DT community. Which includes ourselves. We're hurting ourselves. I love, and by the way, we had such good submissions this week, not to be like annoying. Oh, damn. But we kind of disrupted the order of things, and we need to not do that. Speaking of election day, I think I'm going to try and vote today.
Because you don't want to vote on your birthday, like standing in a line. No, my birthday is the next day. But thank you for being super excited. No, I don't want to vote on Election Day because now Election Day, it's like lines galore when you could vote early. And I've been trying to find time to vote all week, but I haven't had a moment. And now it's like getting away from me. So I think today is the day. So I don't have a plan and I think that's like my first mistake, of course.
And that's what the influencers have been saying. I barely even knew where my, I thought my voting place was one place. You know, I've been talking about this big government building. Yeah. But apparently it's the library. So like, this is, you guys, I'm without a plan. And I feel like you're always at your local live. I love my library. I do. You should like take a trip. I think I might break my tripod and like make just like separate like.
content for the redheads you know by the way they take it really seriously in polling places any sort of like filming or videoing no no separate from I wouldn't be filming myself voting like no um I'd be like going into the stacks and making content for the redheads
OK, I'm just saying, like, be careful wheeling that thing in and around your polling place. I feel like that is a felony. It's not a felony because then also you have to be able to record in government buildings. Remember, we learned that at the library this summer. About the librarian who wasn't letting someone record. You cannot record at a polling place. Like, I whipped my phone out. And maybe I was trying to take a picture of Ben because he was being so slow. I...
Literally got yelled at. You cannot even whip out your phone in a polling place. It's like a casino. Are you sure? Positive. Don't you see like videos of people acting out? Filming undercover. Filming undercover. Filming undercover. Okay. Like seriously, keep that tripod in your trunk. I just want to let you know, I have no interest in filming at my polling place. It sounds like you are really interested, actually. No, I'm not. It's a really big building. I'll be in a separate wing, okay?
It sounds like you're literally dying to film. Yeah, because that's the sort of content everybody wants is more election content from influencers. Let's take a look at the week at a glance. You know, it's Friday. Let's just sort of like unwind. What would you say was like the best part of your week? Besides Toasterween, obviously. Is there like something that you want me to say? No, I'm just trying to have a talk with my sister on our podcast. I know, but like it's just like kind of random.
Why? I'm just sort of taking a conclusive approach to this episode. I would have to go through my camera roll and think back on the week. I don't have a grasp of the week in my mind at the moment. Oh, I have something really exciting going on in my personal life. Do you mean personal or professional?
Yeah, a bit. You guys will find out later today. I haven't even told you. I've been so coy. What the hell is going on? Should I tell you? Yeah, tell all of us. I'll tell all of you because I'm finally today, like the work is being done. I'm wallpapering my bathroom.
Oh, my God. You bitches are so dramatic. I can't. Also, Margot and Olivia on their Instagram stories yesterday being like, huge thing happening to us tomorrow. Claudia, just roll with it. Like, huge thing happening tomorrow. People think there's like a big family announcement coming today. And there is. There isn't.
There is. No, but I didn't want to like say my bathroom's being done like earlier in the week because then you have to wait like a few days to see it. I just wanted to do it all at once so that like... It was instant gratification. That's nice. Actually, you know, I actually also didn't even talk about this on the podcast, like a big special project that I was working on. I don't know if you saw because it was in Women's Wear Daily. I did see. Yeah. I became a brand ambassador for this new like.
wellness brand that I actually was familiar with and like joined the I don't want to say the board but there isn't on board but if there was a board I would have a seat on it very Martha Stewart of May and we had like a launch party
What day of the week was that? It's been the longest week. I want to say Wednesday. That's like two days ago. Oh, my God. This party feels like six months ago. It's called Wagwell. It's like pet wellness. You know, I feel like and I'm kind of taking like a Jackie O approach to. Parenthood when it comes to Romeo. With Theo, I was like a little, you know, a little laissez. Like, whatever. I didn't like read a singular label. Like, ingredients, I don't know. You know, I was very, like, trusting.
Trusting. And look where that got me. And blind. And maybe willfully ignorant, I would say. I would say. And look where that got me. And with Romeo, I'm like actually much more particular now about like everything. Kind of like you, like how you swapped out all your cleaning products and you got pregnant. Like literally me.
Romeo's treats, like, now from Wagwell, they're all, like, grain-free. He's on supplements for, like, allergies, like, and joint. I feel like I've gotten a second chance at life. And, like, I'm taking it really seriously. Like, dead ass. I'm so glad to hear that. And I'm glad that you're finding like wellness hacks for your pup so that you don't have to lean on BP. You know, and that's the thing. I feel like with Theo, I definitely like succumbed, succame.
Come to? To Big Pet. Like, I just would go to the pet store and buy stuff. You're like, shoot me up. I'm like, who would make something poor? quality for dogs actually quite a few people so it's true you'll be hearing about like probably seeing billboards of me for this new brand wagwell don't be alarmed like me and romeo just being celebrity endorsers
I love that. I actually now I have a grasp of my week and I can answer your question from before. Isn't it a nice question? It is a nice question, but like I didn't have a grasp of my week. I don't know like how else to say it. She didn't have a grasp of her week. Two highlights of my week. Thank you for asking. First.
driving the Cybertruck and vlogging and the whole experience with my husband we had a great day a great afternoon at Tesla and we got to drive the Cybertruck we just had fun and then it's also on the vlog and the vlog was really like creating the vlog was really fun and that was just and it's so well received the vlog it was like just a fun creative project and you guys know I love vlogging. I'm like Molly Mae with my bird watching camera.
Of course. And then like, you know, ever since the great like chili vlog of like 2022, every time we put out a vlog, we're always like a little like, are they going to hate this? Yeah, I do get nervous. But with this one, I actually wasn't. I was like, even if I got, even if people said that they didn't like it, like it wouldn't bother me because like. I'm so proud. They would be lying. I know that it was great. I was smiling watching it. I was having fun.
Then the second great thing that I didn't even tell everyone, but I did tell everyone that I was going to the dentist, right? Because Bruno. I actually meant to ask you how that went. Right. So I had a toothache when Bruno got 14 teeth extracted. And I was like, well, I can't go now because there's no budget. But it was really hurting.
I was like getting a little worried. And I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I have like not the greatest teeth. Like they're kind of weak. I've had a root canal. I have like so many crowns. A what? A root canal. I've had a root canal.
I've had a root canal, which I barely remembered until I went to the dentist. And I was like, I think I've had a root canal. He's like, yeah, that's that's a root canal on the x-ray. I've had a million crowns, a million cavities. So like when my tooth hurts, like it means there's trouble brewing and it's not good. So I went. And for the first time, it was dentist words. This is, quote, not a four alarm fire. I just have two crowns on two teeth next to each other that are not perfectly aligned.
No big deal. Oh, so they're like rubbing up against each other? No, it just means stuff gets stuck back there and then it just like irritates my gums. And so like I just need to, I do floss back there a lot, but just do more of it. And eventually if I want to perfect it, he could give me a crown that would be.
perfectly next to it and we make the problem go away but not something i have to do right now so i'm just going to think about it but that was a major relief it's so rare to go to any sort of doctor dentist any sort of medical professional and be told like your concern is like
Not real. And there's like not much you have to do. I feel like typically like you want the validation of like a even he was like making me do these jaw exercises to like open and shut my jaw. And he was like, oh, you turn you go to the right a little bit on this like TMJ. And I'm like.
Are you saying I have TMJ? Like, that's so exciting. I do have TMJ. It's so exciting to get a diagnosis sometimes. But in that situation, like your coccidinia. I mean, and I've actually been wanting to talk about this pillow, so let me circle back to that. I'm just saying, in that situation, it was like...
the best possible news that i don't have to get like another root canal or i wasn't sat there for emergency dental surgery like it's just a small thing and like you'll be okay huge win in someone's week it was a huge win it was really like worrying me Now, I have recently been watching our episodes, and might I say, they're just amazing. I love them. I can't recommend them enough. Great. Jolly good show.
Because it's like officially fall, I've entered my sweaters and leggings season. Like that's what my uniform is. And because my coccidinia pillow is black and my pants are usually black.
In a lot of our clips, like I look like I have the fattest fucking ass. That's like, that's also like jiggly and flat. Like it lays flat. And I just feel like every single day I need to put a disclaimer on the show. Like if you are watching this on YouTube, like I am sitting on a black pillow. That's what you're seeing.
My ass is actually so firm and tiny like you don't even see it. Do you know what's so funny? Someone commented asking if I got a BBL because like these are the pillows that you sit on when you get a BBL. Also, by the way, easy hack for you. get a different color pillow. Like mine's gray, so that's different. Yours is so ugly. I would love to find, maybe we could find a white pillow. Maybe we could have them like custom dyed.
I would love if we could get like a matching boucle. Jackie, what if we got boucle tushy pillows? I think that's like what we should get. Invest in. Yeah. Like, listen, let's loosen the purse strings. Let's get custom tushy pillows. Why don't you knit us pillow covers? You know, like. Inspired by Martha. I can really only knit.
like in a straight line, like a scarf. We'll ask Craig. We'll ask Sewing Down South. Oh my God, by the way. Remember when I asked Craig if they do like custom pillows and he said, because I have a bench that needs pillowing and he said like, no, but we could like work. Perhaps I could work. They know the people. Yeah.
Maybe we get custom pillow covers. That's actually a good call. We need sewing down. Let's send them the dimensions of these pillows. We need boucle covers. I feel like they could do that actually so easily. We do. That's so fantastic. And also, why do we have to be confined to these dimensions? Why don't we have just a cushion? The whole chair, yeah. And it only makes sense. We are actually a studio that is styled and designed by Sewing Down South My Pillow.
All of our like throw pillows are sewing down south. Yeah. That's hilarious. Hilarious. I think we should invest in this. Like this is our. Business. We got big business. Bless you. Business is booming. Like, you know, if you were an athlete, of course, you're going to get like the greatest physical trainer.
No, and let me tell you, my coccidinia is getting worse after toast to wean yesterday. Every time I get up off the show, like I move a little slowly. And sometimes if I'm not sitting on the pillow 100% correctly, it's like I might as well not be sitting on it. And I felt a pain. so deep in my anus like I I had never felt anything like I know my coccodynia is actively getting worse and I need to be more proactive about like protecting my tush yeah you do and as always I stand with you
And as always, I don't feel like you've really been there for me during my coccidinia journey. What do you mean? I'm about to get us bespoke pillows. All right. Maybe after the bespoke pillows, I'll feel differently. I don't know. I just don't feel like you've really been there for me.
I feel like I've been there for you as much as you've let me be there for you. But you know yourself, like you push people away. That's what someone would say who hasn't been there for someone, you know? Only someone's super fucking crafty. It's textbook. Textbook what? Your response. Textbook denial. Oh, OK. Well, you know, I think it's textbook craftiness. And I think we can respect that.
I think we can respect the run of show. And the run of show, I think it's kind of demanding that we dive into the fast five, you know? We don't have all day. We actually do. No, I have to vote. I've got to get out the vote. I've got to make a plan. What snack are you going to bring? I brought Ritz crackers. Like, I actually did.
Maybe a piece of sourdough. Honestly, that's a good one. Wrap it in some tinfoil, toast it up with butter. Yummo. Because I already ate my bar for the day, so. Yummo. I can't bring a bar. Why is there it feels like there's a law in this world that you can't eat more than one bar in a day? It's actually such a good call. Right. I think because. Like you can't.
You can't. And like you shouldn't really because they're meant to be like meal replacements, right? And you shouldn't be having three bars for your three meals a day. Unless you're like hiking. Yeah, I will say like when I first got off Ozempic and I was like so panicked about like gaining weight and everybody was like protein, protein. I was having like three protein shakes in two bars a day. Like it was really nutty. That's not good. Yeah. I've been on the other side.
I'm a bar a day. I do not go above that. And I really feel like bars are like for the morning. I think so too. Yeah. Well, I think without further ado. Now without further ado to do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.
And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are supported by State Farm. So we know the toasters agree. Nothing feels better than a personal win. Like when you get your final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment. Your home really feels complete. Perhaps you hit a personal best in a workout. Perhaps you're training forever. 5k.
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holiday cards, and gifts only when you use code TOAST, T-O-A-S-T, at Minted. Today's episode is also brought to you by Saks.com, the premier digital platform for luxury fashion. Actually, I spent... all day on sax.com yesterday looking for a gift for one swirly oh um and you did say you were gonna like send me some ideas like of things that you had wanted for your birthday you didn't no I didn't yet I didn't yet
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guaranteed to bring joy for every hard to shop for person at sax.com this season let's make this holiday season memorable for you and your loved ones thank you turt.com you're welcome our first our first story which is Always going to be the lead story on November 1st. I don't make the rules. Mariah Carey is awake. No. Celebrity Halloween costumes.
so underwhelmed and I just want to say I think as a society we have lost the meaning of the word costume. We've lost the meaning of Halloween. No, costume is something you get dressed into. and go somewhere to a party. You go trick-or-treating. Celebrities and influencers like having these obscenely extravagant.
costumes put together for a photo shoot and like they do nothing else in that costume right they probably took it weeks ago that does not count no it does not count like seriously who is that for like we don't care you're wasting your time your money and your resources like we need to stop we need to abolish it
Agreed. And I think the perfect example is like Kylie, right? She had so many costumes, first of all. Maybe four. Three of them were silly photo shoots like Stop, Barbarella, some Demi Moore movie. Striptease. She like recreated the poster.
You didn't leave. And by the way, she's naked. That's not a costume. That's not a costume. And then last night she got into a real costume and her and Kendall went to a party. Like that is Halloween. That's a costume. The other two was like you just spending money for fun. I just feel like as the audience, like we need to all come together and make our voices heard. And like not one person should like those photos. I want zero likes on those pictures and maybe they'll stop doing it.
It's obscene. Like I seriously don't understand it. No, it's really. It's boring and it's uninteresting to me. Like. It's not, I mean, it's unfortunate that you had to make Kylie the example because, like, you know, I would never want to say a crossword about her. But she is among those who are doing this. Okay, you want me to call out someone else?
Well, then Kim. I mean, to me, the peak of this is like the albino alligator. Kim dressed as an albino alligator for a photo. I didn't realize that that's what that was. Yeah, it said in the caption, albino alligator.
Okay, here's another example. And the Kardashians definitely, I feel like started this trend and now like everybody does it and it's annoying. So I definitely blame them, but it's trickled down. Like I saw, okay, here's a good example. Alex Earl threw like a big Halloween party in LA.
last weekend and I actually thought that was smart I feel like she's kind of taking on like Heidi Klum because Heidi Klum's party I feel is like it's dated and did you see her looking like E.T. last night like it was so stupid I did and what's so crazy about her costume is it could have not even been Heidi in there
Right. And by the way, that's how it's been for the last couple of years. Remember when she was a worm? Do you think the last few years she's been at home? Yes. Just watching everyone think that she's walking the red carpet. And I went last year and it's clearly like a money thing. Like she has so many sponsors. It's like a brand event. So I actually think like, even though Heidi didn't pass the baton, it feels like that was actually a really smart thing Alex Earl did. I liked, I think that.
If she continues to do it, it becomes like an influencer-y type of thing. It could be like, you know, you think of Heidi's Halloween party, the Casamigos Halloween, and Alex Earl. And she had like this very creative costume, whatever. And then she also did like a big photo shoot. where she got this custom box made where her and Braxton were Barbie and Ken. And it was like, they didn't go anywhere in this costume. They just like did a photo shoot. Like, why?
Yeah, but at least I'm being Barbie and Ken. It's not like they had to do like a million like makeup, sit in hair and makeup for six hours. That's why the albino alligator to me is so stupid. Worst offense. She didn't go anywhere. She just took a picture. I can't even imagine how many hours.
we're spent on this no and then when you see what Kylie actually dressed up as like for fun with her sister on Halloween it was so cute that video they made they were like Isabella and Lizzie from the Lizzie McGuire movie purple and green matching like it's a classic millennial it reminds us like they're just girls like us like they made this cute little singing video. Why can't that just be enough? Yeah, I also saw Kendall in...
Hailey Bieber were Simple Life poster. I don't know if they went anywhere, but that is like a fun costume that you can move in and they maybe did something with it. I hope that they did as opposed to just like sit at home and take content. I don't know what the right word is for what celebrities do with all these photos.
shoots it's like so overindulgent and it's so like gluttonous if that's the right word yes but it's also just a good old-fashioned waste of time and money time is the most precious thing we have we have it's so how many jobs does kim kardashian have and she's always us that she doesn't have enough time but you have time for six hour alligator albino just for a photo on your instagram not even like in vogue that's why we need to use our power zero likes
I agree. And like seeing all that, like I was saying, I saw all these pictures of Irina Shayk and Anne Hathaway. Like they were dressed up as like, she was like a Tomb Raider. It was like for their kids. It was so sweet. Like it just was built back to basics. I'm like, that's nice. Yeah. I have a list of.
celebrity Halloween costumes we'll let you know who was like just her photo shoot who went out but I actually think one of my favorite Halloween costumes I don't know if she went anywhere but she looked mobile was Elsa Hosk as Princess Diana
Agreed. I feel like she didn't go anywhere. I feel like she just took a picture, but yeah. She's wrong for that. She, like, I don't know why no one's ever, why has really, maybe someone's done this before, but not in a. No, I feel like when they do Princess Diana, they do like the biker shorts and crew neck look.
Nailed it. She did. She did the revenge dress, like the black off the shoulder dress. She looked great. Yeah, she really did. So then we also have Jennifer Gardner as Jenna Rink. What do you think about that? The self-reference. I don't mind it. And like she did it for a TikTok. At least she like gave us something. It wasn't just like a dumb photo. She like recreated that iconic scene where she's getting ready for I'm going to a party in a limo. Yeah. And like it was really cute.
Yeah, that is really cute. And you know what? I love someone who loves an iconic role of theirs that means so much to a generation. They don't ignore it and act like they hated that role. She knows how much it means to people, and she's always feeding us, not in a way that's annoying and too much. So you know what? I like it. Then Sabrina got dressed up for her show. She did a Playboy Bunny and she did Tinkerbell. And then you're talking about Carpenter, right? Is there another one?
Well, because then she did a lot of costumes because I saw two TikToks. She was Sandy from Grease, which is so her. I think the whole show she kept changing into costumes. And then she, this one didn't look, this looked like what she wore to like hang out with her friends because her friend was Miss Ungermeyer. And she was Lizzie when she's like in that fitting and she wears the big igloo dress. Her friend was Miss Ungermeyer. Yeah, it was hysterical. That is really funny.
Charlie D'Amelio is Black Swan. Adorable. Like that's a real Halloween costume. That's a good reference. Oh, I've seen this a million times. And you know what? I'm finally going to mention it so that she can get the PR that she was hoping for. Lizzo as Ozempic. I actually really did not like that. I'm so glad you brought it up.
Because, you know, she is on this weight loss journey, by the way. She looks great. And she's, like, maintaining that she's not on Ozempic. And everyone obviously accuses her of it. Because if you're losing weight in this day and age, like, it's Ozempic. And you've not lost it before. Before. And she has said, like...
She will take to her grave that she's not on a Zemba. And I actually believe her because I feel like it's happening really slowly. Okay, but do you think, like, she's on Manjaro? That's a thing people do, too. They're like, I'm not on a Zemba. It's a semi-glutide compound. Jackie, literally me. Yeah, like if I took a lie detector test, like I wasn't on Ozepic. I'm on Wigobi. No, I don't think she's lying. Like I really don't. But the thing is, is like.
So you're not a part of the community? Like, you don't get to make jokes. Like, you're not on Ozempic, so get out of here. Yeah. And, you know, I was on Ozempic during last Halloween, and I dressed up as a skeleton because people were saying I looked like a skeleton. I was so scared.
And so like I was in on the joke and like I was getting, I was taking all the heat for being on a setback. So I'm allowed to reap the benefits of a costume. It's like, well, you're not. So like, is my culture a costume to you? I don't think so.
That's really funny. Like it actually bothered me. But I'm like so protective over Ozempic and like when it comes to celebrities and like the media that maybe I'm just like too close to it. And I really feel like in this day and age, like if you're someone who's skinnier than they've ever been.
And you're on Ozempic. And by the way, like there's literally nothing wrong with that. It's amazing. Like I think of a million people and like they would literally, they have to go on a lie detector. Like there's no way for me to not think you're on Ozempic. If you're skinnier than you've ever been, and it's now in 2024, you've lost weight, you're on Ozempic. I don't believe in speculating about who's on Ozempic. That's why I'm not naming names.
Like I just. I'm saying like big picture. Yeah. You're on a subject. Yeah. That's what Josh Peck is always saying is that like he lost this huge amount of weight like before these drugs were an option for him and like he feels robbed. Yeah.
Me too, by the way. Yeah. I would have been on an Olympic my whole life. Jackie, you don't lose 200 pounds. No, no, but I would have been on an Olympic my entire life as maintenance and then I could have just like thought about other stuff for the last 10 years. Yeah, you could have. I could have. Maybe you'd be a billionaire.
Maybe I would be a billionaire, but don't worry. One day when I go on the Olympic, it's over for you bitches. Yeah, you keep saying that, and then you didn't go on it. I never said I'm going on it yet. I know, but you keep saying one day. Like, when? Oh, in years. Like, same time that I...
When I'm done having children. When you get your tummy tuck. It's for my golden years. Got it, got it, got it. I have to have something to look forward to. Look forward to. Breast reduction, tummy tuck, Ozempic. Yeah, and then it's over. When I am 75, it is over. It's so true.
Next up, I actually really like this costume. I'm going to give them some credit where it's due. Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos as Travis and Kelsey at the U.S. Open. Agreed. Recognizable, cute, on trend. I liked it. Well executed. Yep. I don't need, you know, a little video to show me who they are. Right. Oh, and then Olivia Colpo and Christian McCaffrey really like just went classic, classic college Halloween. They were Dorothy and the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz.
So cute. Oh, did you see Kristin Juszczyk, like Slade? Kristen and Kyle Juszczyk were Vinny and Marissa Tomei for My Cousin Vinny. Like, seriously, so good. I was, like, jealous. That's such a good costume. If I could pull off a unitard like that, maybe I would have been that in my life, but I could never. I just saw such a... good costume right before this oh shoot I forget what it was there weren't a lot of really good celebrity costumes
Yeah. Oh, Bethany Frankel was Wonder Woman. So was I. I forgot to tell you guys. That was my family Halloween. We were all superheroes and I was Wonder Woman. Yeah, you had to say brand safe. She looks much better than me. I'll say that. Oh, that's good. Yeah. By the way, she's in her golden years. So it's over for you. And like she's wearing like sexy Wonder Woman. Like I'm like, you know.
in the neighborhood. Right, right. Yeah, trying to be like a modest woman. Yeah, yeah, it's for the children. Of course, of course. Oh, Janelle Monae also did E.T. There's a couple of Jessica Rabbits, so there's some of, you know, that... crossover yeah but overall uninspiring and I do believe this was the first year that Casamigos did not have their big LA Casamigos Halloween party which is where all the celebrities step out in their like best and brightest unless it's this weekend
No, I had heard that it wasn't happening. Hmm. Isn't that interesting? And I guess it would have been last weekend if it were happening. Because, like, who's having a party on November 2nd? It's Christmas. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. Deck the halls, motherfucker. Even though it's 75 degrees in New York today, like it's insane. Yeah, you know what? I think it's warmer, or at least yesterday, it was like warmer in New York than it was here. It was... 81 degrees yesterday. 81.
I had to walk home from the toast in my stupid costume because I was wearing shorts. It was so hot. Oh my God. I never had a chance to change out of my costume yesterday and like till the evening. So I'm like running around like a camp counselor. It's actually not a bad look. No, not at all. It was quite cozy. It was kind of a pardgy Halloween. It was. It was a pardgy toast-a-ween. Especially when I took that wig off. Oh, so itchy.
Um, our next story is something that you've alluded to a number of times now that I haven't taken the bait on, but it's a story. No, it's Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk. Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. I just usually I tell you, don't worry, we're going to talk about it. But I tried something new this time, which was not engaging.
And I was like, oh, she really doesn't care about these three getting together. No, I cared enough to make it a story because I, too, thought it was remarkable for a number of reasons. Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk reunited for Halloween trick-or-treating with their daughter, Leia, who is seven. Anne Hathaway was also...
spotted with them so there's a couple things that we have to break down here the co-parenting trick-or-treating like that's really sweet of them yep irena shake i'm having an irena shake renaissance ever since the victoria's secret fashion show The way that she looked for trick-or-treating with her family was like, seriously, gargipargi on another level to the point of like...
maybe it was too much but like it was also I think like when you just look like that it's hard not to be too much she just put on honestly was probably from Spirit Halloween like it wasn't even crazy I just think when you're that tall beautiful thin gorgeous model that like
You put on your pajamas and it's too much. Meanwhile, I think Anne Hathaway is wearing like elf ears. No, Anne Hathaway was wearing like, it was like a gown to the floor that was like shredded. It was maybe like a mummy. I don't know. It was not obvious what she was.
I think she's probably something from like The Hobbit. So the co-parenting of it all is so interesting. Although, I mean, they've given us no reason to believe that they're not on good terms. I just feel like they're not, you know? Yeah, I mean, divorce is...
not great you know you know these celebrities conscious uncoupling like they make it work yeah when you have so much money it's like it's not that contentious you know yeah i feel like irena like doesn't get that many opportunities to like rub something in his face
And this costume was that. A little rub-a-dub-dub. A little rub-a-dub-dub. Someone's face. Did you see upon the news of Giselle being pregnant being announced, Tom Brady posted like an emo photo like of nature with the song Landslide playing over top? Yeah. What did you make of that? I think Tom Brady's just like the rest of us. Do you think that was how I'm struggling or just like here's a picture of nature in a song that I like? Yeah, I'm like, okay. This always happens where it's like.
things look a certain way but when you like peel it back like I could see how he just took a picture of nature and then like what's a good song about nature land slide yeah yeah yeah and then anything that he posted that day we're gonna break down yeah And I actually, I'm going to say not related. Okay. I don't think Tom Brady takes his feelings to Instagram. I don't even think he would know how to do that.
I agree as a man and a man of a certain age and also a certain like level of fame. Like you don't do that. We're not posting quote cards. But also that's just not like 45 year old grown man behavior. Like. I'm upset. Oh, let me go cry on Instagram. Like it doesn't even cross his mind to do something. I agree. Although it's just was bizarre timing.
Yes, but I think anything that he posted that day, we would have looked at it through the lens. He's depressed. He's depressed because she's pregnant. And he might have found out a week ago. What did he post seven days ago? Right. When do you think he found out? I think he found out a few days before the news was going to be public. Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she would have told him.
Okay, back to, sorry, these three. What is the Anne Hathaway connection to either of them? I think maybe it was what you said. Like they were all on that street. Yeah, I think when you're like wealthy and live in the West Village and you're a celebrity, like you just, that's what I got from like Andy Cohen's books. Like there's like a couple of restaurants you always go to.
just know each other kind of how like you know when you live in the suburbs all the moms know each other yeah like how old is Anne Hathaway's son maybe he's in school right with their kids something like that yeah yeah yeah just like cute celeb tings
Nice to see them having a nice moment. And like I said, I don't know why I feel like they really don't get along. They've never given us any reason to think that. Well, because even when they were together, it looked like they didn't get along. And so now they're not. Seriously, because that one photo shoot at Wimbledon. No, but like there was so much weird stuff, like even with the Lady Gaga.
star is born moment like she was always like on the fringe like yep I think she honestly did her dirty if I was her I would hate him too yeah I think so even when they were together it didn't look like the happiest couple and now that they've like separated and they have a child between them like seriously i fucking hate you yeah it's no holds bar gloves are off like you suck yeah yeah well nice that they made it work for the kid yeah well our next story number three
is some other exciting child news because it's pregnancy news gossip girls alums west westwick's new wife is pregnant amy jackson and not to be like you know one of those but i know but was she pregnant at the wedding Yes. That's nice. Right? Because you wouldn't announce a pregnancy like right when it happens. And they got married like a month ago. And she appeared to have a bump, although she's so small. I think maybe you have a bump like day one.
Oh, and also she has had a child before and you do get a bump quicker with your second or subsequent children than your first. The first takes a minute. Yeah. Interesting. Well, this was a shock. And of course, like I also thought immediately because I'm such a wench. And I just want to say there's literally nothing wrong with being pregnant at your wedding or having a baby before. I feel like such a small town. Yeah, like conservative woman.
Was she pregnant out of wedlock? I just want to say like, there's literally nothing wrong with that. But of course I thought the same. I feel like that song of Taylor, it's like Sarah's and Hannah's in their Sunday. Yes. No, that's literally us. And that's why I had to say like, there's nothing wrong. but also then you just can't drink at your wedding yeah yeah not a huge loss a little bit of a bummer
Yeah, but anyways. Well, I guess it depends what your relationship with alcohol is. But it's like if they never got married in the last few months, like I wouldn't even, like they'd be pregnant and I wouldn't be like, are they married or are they not married? But like it's just because they just got married.
Just the small town Karen comes out. Something about a wedding is like so like traditional and religious that like you do think like, you know. But no, that's fabulous. Happy for them. That's fabulous. I am happy for them. I'm like, like. I'm happy for them, and I know that, like, hearts are breaking everywhere. Because even when he got married, like, a marriage is just a marriage, right? Especially in Hollywood. But a child is binding.
It's binding for life. And I just know that there are actually millions of girls out there who just think that this should be them. And it's not. And I'm sorry. And it's tough to see other people living out your dreams. Do you really think that he has millions of girls out there? Yes. Like people die for him. Also, like if I told you how many Instagram followers he had, like you would be shocked. They die for him because they die for Chuck Bass. Yes. And he really has aged so well. Like.
He has 11 million followers. Like, that's crazy. How many does Chase Crawford have? That's a good question. I think people die for Ed Westwick more than they die for Chase. Yeah, like, Nate was really... Okay, this Chase Crawford, who, by the way, there is a Chase Crawford on Instagram who is verified, who has 264 followers. That's insane. And that's what came up for me. Am I blocked by Chase Crawford? It's C-H-A-C-E.
It is? Yeah, I could feel that that's... Yeah, you're right. Three million, okay? Wow. So I'm telling you, there is like a cult following. And it's not like he went on to do other big things. Like he had pretty much the same acting and career trajectory as Chase Crawford. There's no reason they shouldn't have similar amounts of followers. But he is like a global heartthrob.
Yeah. Wow. And now like with a younger generation watching the show, like they all love Chuck. Interesting. And I would argue that if you go to his Instagram now, like he's more handsome now, I think, than he even was in the show. And I don't know if you could say that for all the guys. Oh, for all. Yeah. You know, he's aging nicely. Yeah. And, you know, it's about to become a daddy. Mazel tov. Mazel tov. That's so nice. Are you ready for our next story? Number four.
Yeah. A Game of Thrones movie is coming.
Enough with these people. Like, seriously, all they do is announce projects that never come to be and the ones that do come to be House of the Dragon stink. The project whose cinematic universe began with the TV series and adaptation of George R.R. Martin's The Song of Ice and Fire book series is in the very... early stages of development of warner brothers according to multiple outlets because the discussions are just beginning no actors writers directors have been attached to the film correct
I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one in which I never asked to be a part of. I saw a video recently that explained all of the Game of Thrones spinoffs. and what happened to them and there were seriously like 12 a lot of them are still like futzing around development a lot of them are not happening like you know kit harrington's one that was really like that was sad yeah yeah what was that like a john snow
It was like following, yeah, Jon Snow's spinoff. Like, actually, they're, at this point, I do feel like they're kind of disgracing the legacy of Girl with No Job. of game of thrones with all this like will they won't they and they really need to stop because it's giving curse yeah yeah well In theory, a Game of Thrones movie, and would it be the same storyline? That's what it seems to be. It would be back to Westeros. It would be a loop.
On the path of King's Road. Oh, they fucking love the King's Road. Like the things that they do. The King's Road. The King's Road. Would be similar to Game of Thrones. Yeah. And I love God. Of course, no. And maybe like directly after. And I would have been down. But now that like there have been so many announcements and so many derailments and X and Y and Z, like it's giving like messy. Yeah.
It is giving messy. Like, stop trying, actually. Like, let sleeping dogs lie. The next prequel series is coming out in late 2025, so in a year. It's called A Night of the Seven Kingdoms. Whatever. Like, for real. Whatever. Yeah, now it's just getting into like medieval porn, you know? Like Game of Thrones was an amazing anomaly, but I don't watch medieval porn. Jackie, it is medieval porn. What are those restaurants called where you like...
Medieval Times. Medieval Times, yeah. It's literally like porn stars at Medieval Times. Yeah. That's how I felt watching Hassan the Dragon. Like, why am I watching, like, these, like... Medieval crusaders. I don't watch shows like this. It was harder to suspend disbelief with House of the Dragon. Like Game of Thrones, they really built this universe. And it was like fantastic and anyone could love it.
But there are a lot of shows like, you know, set in a similar time period. I don't watch them. Right. No, it was different. Dungeons and Dragons. Right. Right. Game of Thrones was different and nothing else they've created since then has been and had that sort of magic.
It's true. And I actually need them to stop drying. Okay. Well, now we can get into our fifth and final story. Is it our fifth and final story that is brought to you by Too Faced Cosmetics and their new Kissing Jelly Lip Oil? It is, Turtle Lou.
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So? So in honor of that, we have decided to play a little fun game with Too Faced. Since Jackie and I are obsessed with the idea of Birthday Buddies, and this is a birthday-themed product, we are going to play a little game. So Jackie, I'm going to ask you a list of celebrity... birthday twins that you have and if you would share a birthday party with them give me a yes or no and your reason why okay okay so if you had to would you share a birthday party with your birthday twin Lamar Odom yes
i think yeah no explanation native no like it would be amazing i could finally ask him what's going on with keeping up with sports maybe right chloe would be there yep yeah i think i think chris would definitely be there because she's so supportive and like then she's at my birthday party I don't know if you know this, but the very famous elder lady, June Squibb, is also your birthday buddy. And I can't believe we're just learning that. So would you share a birthday party with June Squibb?
I would share a birthday party with June Squibb because that would really bring this entire thing full circle. Full circle. You don't know June Squibb? Right. What do you know about June Squibb? And I think it would be really great for you if you could meet June Squibb at my birthday party because you love her so much. right okay and finally if asked would you share a birthday party a joint party with the icon herself sally fields yes i would do that for ben
So that he could ask all of his questions about Mrs. Outfire. That's really huge of you. Yeah. Really, really huge. And, you know, the more the merrier. Of course. Birthday buddies, I love them. I identify with them. They're like a big part of who I am and how I see myself. It's true. And I would love to meet my fellow birthday buddies. So now I have a list of birthday buddies you're going to ask me. Okay. Let's turn the tables a bit, if we will.
Claudia, would you share a birthday party with Jessica Simpson? I mean, it's a dream and it's been a dream of mine since I was a child. Like I think that at one point I maybe even had Jessica Simpson on my birthday cake. We like had like a screen printed cake. So of course that would be full circle. That would be a really fun party too. Yeah. And we would play like.
You know, all of her top hits. It would be huge. Maybe Ashley would be there. Yeah. Yeah. Would you share a birthday party with Sofia Vergara? No, we have like beef a little bit because she knows that like her ex-man is the love of my life and like.
I would obviously have to invite him and that would be like put her in a tough spot. And I really am not interested in having a birthday to share a stage with somebody who's like so much more beautiful and perfect looking than me. So I'm going to I'm going to kick Sofia Vergara out of here. Birthday twin club. I wouldn't. I understand. And I think I would feel the same. Yeah. Would you share a birthday party with Adrienne Grenier? I don't know.
if I knew that Adrian Grenier was my birthday buddy and I absolutely would not um because you know he would make us have it on like the beach and we'd all be cleaning up the ocean or something like and that's a worthy cause and I'll do that like the next day but for my birthday like I want straws like
You just know he would kind of ruin the party with his bad energy. 100%. And you know what? I feel like he wouldn't actually be cleaning up the beach. Like he'd be sitting there. Like watching everything. Delegating. Yeah. Well, that was fun. Treat your lips to an ultra nourishing lip oil slash gloss hybrid that instantly softens your pout with our new shade, the Too Faced new shade of the Kissing Jelly Lip Oil. It is the birthday kiss.
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Flip the tables and do the recap and then do the story because the story is about the documentary. She's unhappy, right? She has a few details that she would have changed. And so let's talk about the thing as a whole first. She's going to be so close to it. So I can say as like an outsider, I thought it was perfect. And I thought, I don't know. if this was the goal of the documentary but i think that
It really puts so much respect on her name for what she built. Like I knew that she had this big media company. I know that Martha Stewart's Weddings is still a thing. And I know at a certain time, like she was the biggest and the best when it came to like food and cooking and home. But I really didn't know how she grew up super poor.
and how she took it from, you know, and how she was just this type of woman who was good at whatever she did. Like, go fuck around and work at Goldman Sachs or whatever the equivalent was and she was crushing it making a quarter of a million dollars a year like she just has and I didn't know this about her like she has this charisma and this talent and this energy and I feel like
It really accomplished two things. One, put a lot of respect on what she built. And I don't know if I knew that she, and now I understand that line, the first self-made female billionaire. Like that's what she did. was insane. Taking a company public that was built exclusively on her. Yeah. Insane. I did not realize that she was the first female self-made billionaire. Also really the first influencer because now there are so many companies that revolve around one person.
person is marketing like their lifestyle whether it's a new york stock exchange type of company or just a big influencer it happens on so many different levels and it's so impressive that it She was the first that it was her idea. That is a new business that had never been done before. And I feel like we missed Martha Stewart's heyday because by the time she went to prison, like we were still not even.
reading socially conscious right like she was huge in the 90s we were just growing up like we weren't her target audience and I'm sad to have missed it I tried to actually buy her book last night the entertaining one yeah the first one it's like not in print anymore But it was really interesting to see how someone, she became like an adjective, Martha Stewart living, Martha Stewart Magazine, Martha Stewart Media, how someone.
actually becomes that like tangibly without having like a leg up in this world and how she really like used her skills that she knew to start a business. And that was like her catering business. Her catering business became a cookbook. Her cookbook, she had ideas flowing over, became a magazine. organic so organic and like really step by step no one sitting like took a look at her one day and said like you could be a media empire it was really her just knowing how much she had to offer
And the documentary was so great because I feel like you really got to know her personality. And she's. funny she doesn't give a fuck and I also love that they highlighted like there were a lot of rumors at the time during the trial but also before that she was kind of a nightmare and a bitch and like there are they had all this old video footage of like her being kind of stern with people and I love that she didn't apologize for that
She was like, yeah, like I was literally running a billion dollar company and like people were being moronic. Like, yeah, sorry, I had to talk to people in a stern way. Like, I kind of like that she didn't apologize for that. And like.
No one would have made a singular comment about like a self-made billionaire man who was like a dick. Yeah, who was very exacting in what he wanted. And someone said that in the documentary, like no one would say this about a man. And the person said like, it's cliche to even say that because anytime a woman does something, we don't say.
this bad man right it's so true it's so true and I just loved getting to know her personality and it's clear like she's she is who she is and she's always been this way like she's known what she wanted from a very young age and I loved the documentary from the first moment but really when she told the story about coming home and telling her dad that she got engaged and he slapped her for marrying a Jew and she didn't give a fuck and she like
literally got married and had kids with this guy i like just queen queen but i did not know what she was gonna say like why did her dad slap her that was chilling chilling also i didn't realize that she was had to spend
So much time close to Judaism in her life. Yeah, no, I mean, her kids are Jewish. Yeah, one kid, right? One kid, yeah, but she has grandkids too. Oh yeah, she was upset that they weren't included in the documentary. No, I thought it would like really painted a really great picture of like how Martha Stewart living came to be. And like, I'm so...
I was so impressed by her like literally she's like up renovating her house painting her walls doing her own garden building her own garden having chickens like really it's giving like you know ballerina farm yeah like i guess to us is a modern day version right but she was also doing like so much content like so much um Teaching. That's a word that she used a lot, like so much educating. And what a great resource that was. And also while also.
I love the Joan Didion piece that they kept quoting. I thought that she really, like really, I guess that's why she's Joan Didion, but really like put perfectly towards like the impact that Martha had. And like, it wasn't about like female hobbies. It was about like female power. Like the fact that she could find so much power.
and like the in domesticity to me I find so interesting I agree I thought that article was great and I love that they remarked on two things one that like yes her traditional sort of like homemaking business was actually like a huge win for feminism and then also I thought it was so interesting how really the biggest peak of her career like when she went public was when she was in like her 40s and her 50s which was so cool to see but also that like
because like socioeconomically and just like what was happening in the culture was that like so many of the young women when Martha was like 50 so many of like the young women who were getting married were raised by mothers who were thrown into the workforce, and never taught them these things, right? So you think about how, and Martha learned it from her mom, because her mom was like a school teacher. And her dad. Made 16 meals a day. Very traditional. And then when she was becoming a mom.
they all worked and that's like the culture changed and so I thought it was so interesting and I love that they just didn't like clown on it as like you know bad for women you're teaching women to make cakes they should be in the workforce like shut up no and she said even women who are in the workforce like they still feel this drawn to the home yeah because that's their that's you know home and that's their domain that's the heart of their family and so you can
work and also still want to have like a warm home where you create things and you cook things for your family yeah and sustain all that so actually I think they said like most of her audience was working women not just people who sit at home and like are looking for things cooking all day yeah and honestly the documentary was so interesting and her company went public and
I felt like it was almost over and I completely had forgotten the whole jail thing. And then the second half of the documentary is really like dedicated to that whole journey. And if you would have asked me, I would have said, yeah, you know, she got a tip. She bought or sold or whatever. And she went to prison for it. And I so did not know how.
Not the case that was. Now, I think when it comes to whether or not Martha actually did it, like, we will never know. She maintains her innocence, and I'm sure they had very little evidence. He said, she said, some loser secretary saying, yeah, I heard him, whatever. but they were not able to bring charges onto Martha Stewart for insider trading. I did not know that. She did not go to jail for insider trading. She went to jail.
for lying to the government because they couldn't get her on insider trading. So they were able to like go through one of her depositions and be like, well, this isn't a hundred percent true. And we're going to take you to trial to prove it. So they were so clearly making an example of her and that guy, Jim's Comey, whatever his.
name was with some loser attorney general like he wanted to make his bones off this and you know what it worked because he ended up like you said being the head of the fbi right so he built his career on the bones of women like martha stewart it was honestly
Now I don't even care if she broke the law because they abused the justice system. What a waste, first of all. Like Martha Stewart, 45 grand. She was a fucking billionaire. She was on the board of Revlon, of the New York Stock Exchange, so many publicly traded companies. Like she needed 40.
five grand please right no that whole part like actually made me sick like gave me a pit in my stomach the fact that they could just like use destroy everything she built yeah and like that she's going to prison for a real prison and they could and and he didn't tip her off the stock guy so how whatever reason she had for making that trade like did not come because she knew that he didn't get his drug approved like right it was sickening and i
I just like I remember Martha Stewart going to jail. We didn't I didn't really like know that the details of it. But I feel like now like Martha Stewart went to jail for insider trading. She did not. Yeah. For lying to the government. And it just like really just. Makes you question like I feel like at the time were people like there was some news coverage that was like this was unfairly harsh. You could see that. But they were eating it up. Yeah. But.
This ice queen who was allegedly rude to work with is also stealing from the government. Like, it was so egregious. Well, no, except from the government, if she's traded, it would be the investors. Yeah.
It was egregious. It was so upsetting. And honestly, I feel like the end of the documentary tried to like be like, and she's back and she's got this new life and actually going to jail, set her free from her perfectionism in a lot of way. I did not feel that optimism. I felt mad. Jackie, me too. I felt big mad.
I'm not over it. And I do remember like the official, you know, the comeback of Martha Stewart. I didn't realize it hinged so much on the roast of Justin Bieber. That's so funny and interesting to me and really brilliant. But I agree. And she is back and I know she's.
you know better than ever but it made me so mad because her company went completely kaput they were what 35 40 a share and then they were under five dollars almost two dollars like it made me so mad because everything everybody had said right like you can't take a company public that's based on
one person because that person's reputation that person could get hit by a car like all of the things they ended up being right right this billion dollar company did go because of her reputation but she didn't do it or even if she did it's not
right how it went down like it was so upset like I was so mad and honestly when she was leaving prison wearing that crocheted poncho that one of her inmates made her like let me tell you queen shit no and then she did her show and they're all wearing ponchos and the dogs are wearing ponchos it's a shame that her show didn't work out that Mark Burnett show and I understood like why it didn't but I think I was just like I don't know how she could have what moves she could have made to write to
right the ship at that point like i think no when she said everything had to fall apart advised to not speak out and that was like a mistake that she regrets but i think even if she did speak out during the trial like it was such a coordinated
from every media, there was nothing she could have done. Like they wanted to destroy her and they successfully did. And I was so angry and I felt so sad for her because when you think about how much it took for her to get to the place, like she knew she was going to take her company public and everybody was like, you're crazy.
She got Kmart to advance her the money to buy her company back. Like everything she did was so fucking impressive. And I loved how the first thing she did when she made it big was go to Kmart. And she's on Letterman and Letterman's being such a dick. Kmart, Martha Stewart shops at Kmart.
just like so understood the American woman being like 70 million people shop in Kmart every single month and just because you're shopping at Kmart doesn't mean you don't deserve nice things like right she was so every woman she wasn't really snobbish even though the whole thing had like a very sort of elevated vibe to it I was
So angry. I'm still angry. I'm sure she is too, by the way. You could tell there are certain things that happened to her in her life, like even her first divorce, that she really...
wasn't over like it was so clear she was so sad about that a billion dollars she said she personally and i also did wish they asked like a couple more questions about her personal finances because she's clearly very wealthy but she became a billionaire and then she said during the course of the trial she lost personally a billion dollars I think that was because of her stake in the company and the company losing so much. So how much money did she have at the end?
oh I don't know when they did that zoom out on the drone at the very end of her property her property is insane yeah so let's get into the fifth story which is she has some notes on the documentary she's not thrilled with a couple things including what you just mentioned so She has criticized the film by RJ Cutler over multiple editing choices that she disagreed with. She said, quote, those last scenes with me looking like a lonely old lady walking hunched over in the garden.
Boy, I told him to get rid of those. And he refused. Let me tell you, she's so funny. She's so funny. She said, I hate those scenes. Hate them. She also took issue with the project's musical score, claiming it didn't reflect her taste. She said to RJ, quote, an essential part. of the film is that you play rap music. Dr. Dre will probably score it or Snoop Dogg or Frederick. I said I want that music and then he gets some lousy classical score in there which has nothing to do with me.
They did play a Snoop Dogg song at the very end because they did a big part of the documentary really giving him credit for a lot of her comeback. And so I thought that was a good nod, but I'm glad they didn't play rap music throughout the whole documentary. It wouldn't have fit.
I agree. And maybe that's like where she is now. Or was she listening to rap music while she was renovating Turkey Hill? I don't know. She wasn't. She was listening to classical symphonies. It's a music fit to me. I didn't notice it. And that's a good thing.
Yeah. Then she also said that the director used very little footage from her personal archive, noting there was not even a mention of her two grandchildren. She also felt the doc placed too much focus on her 2004 obstruction of justice trial, which led to her serving nearly five months.
We needed that much because to understand really what they did to her and how coordinated it was, she should be glad. Like she should feel vindicated. But I think maybe she's at this point in her life where like she can't care about it anymore. Yeah. She said it was not that important. The trial and the actual incarceration was less than two years out of an 83.
year life i considered it a vacation to tell you the truth the trial itself was extremely boring even the judge fell asleep rj didn't even put that in the judge was asleep at the bench i wrote it in my diary every day
No, Martha's so funny. Like the shit that she says that like you obviously think in your head, but you never say out loud. She was like, oh, and that wench from the New York Post was there. She's dead now. I'm glad. She said, thank goodness. She's so funny. Yeah, she is. I mean, at this point, like she doesn't give a fuck.
The worst thing that could possibly have happened to her happened to her. So let's let it rip, huh? I only wish this documentary came out sooner because I think it will usher in a renaissance for Martha Stewart. I think there's going to be more like the way that I looked to buy her cookbook. I think.
thousands of people are going to do i wouldn't be surprised if they reissue it i wouldn't be surprised if she writes more new ones like i think that the big moment that she has so deserved even though she's had big moments i just don't feel like they're as big as what she lost
no agreed and they tried to say that in the documentary like she's back a new generation reclaimed her relevance and she's huge but no not like no and I think she deserves to have all of the things that she once had and she deserves it all back
And I only wish that this has happened sooner. And also like that I knew about like, because honestly, I loved everything that I saw in the documentary. I wish that I hadn't known about what she had done sooner so that I could have maybe gotten some books and learned some things. I want to watch her show. yeah it was an infuriating documentary yeah and the first hour was so inspiring like really like just this badass woman in business who started with fucking nothing like really nothing and
When she was talking about her house in the Hamptons, oh my god, so sick. She's such a queen. And I really forgot. And I was like, I wonder how they're going to wrap this up. And then I forgot about this huge thing that happened to her so late in life. And I... It really made me angry. Like for real. Yeah. And I buy magazines in the grocery store checkout aisle and like they are lacking because Martha Stewart living is not there. That's where she should be. Correct.
So I just, I'm mad at like what I've missed out on in this years of my life. Like I should have had Martha guiding me and I don't, and I didn't have that guidance. When she said that she got put in solitary for 24 hours and no food and water because she accidentally, she didn't know that this person was a guard and touched their necklace being like, cute necklace. I was shook.
It's so crazy. She's very tough. Oh and that piece of shit Google guy. Microsoft. Charles. Yeah. I didn't realize that they had dated for so long. He didn't visit her in jail and then he broke up with her like laying naked in bed. And like sent her a jet to pick her up from jail, which was very generous, but only to break up with her. Yeah, but she could have had her own jet. But also like who?
This just like speaks to like I think Hollywood stuff, like rich people stuff where it's like I'm sleeping with someone and I'm letting you know that I'm engaged to someone else. And that's why I'm breaking up with you. But I'm also engaged. But we.
But you're my girlfriend, by the way, for 15 years, but I'm engaged. It's insane. No, and that's what she said also about Ina Garten when she was on Watched Rapids. I think so many people really abandoned her because the stink of being a convict. And she ran in like...
foity-toity fancy business lifestyle circles, and people didn't want that. And so that was probably another huge hit, even getting out of prison like you're free, but nobody wants to be near you. Yeah. Which ends up being a blessing, by the way. Yeah. And she's like, you know, she has herself like she's so strong. Like, I don't know. I liked how she wouldn't even make herself a victim for one second. Yeah. Even with like her husband cheating on her. Like, that's just like.
a tough person mentality and i think it's really admirable she was so funny like talking about how horrible it was to be cheated on and the guy was like you also had an affair though yes and she's like yeah but he was irish like she's no she was like he never knew and they were like no we spoke to him you know
You know, he was a mensch. Like, yeah, it didn't end right. But he like loved her and he supported her. He let her do whatever she wanted. Yeah, but he had an affair with the girl who worked for her on their property. That's. Yeah, but she had an affair too. That's not Menchie. It was an imperfect marriage. No, I wouldn't say Mench. But I would say, you know, they hurt each other.
Yeah, I just like loved him for like picking her out and loving her like instantly and marrying her and really bringing her up in this world. And she was able to do so much that she never would have been able to do without like sort of the access and the lifestyle that he gave her. Or it might have just taken her longer.
But she got to take a few steps forward. Yeah. And so for that, I like him. Yeah. And he let her like do whatever with Turkey Hill. Literally. I love Turkey Hill. I know. She's such a queen. I love her. I know. I just want to consume more of her, but where can I find it? I know. We need Martha back. I guess she has her show with Snoop now, but it's more like gamesy.
And it's not on anymore. I want the education that she's promised us. Yeah, we need Magnolia Network to pick her up. We do. Just Martha in the kitchen teaching. So. Those were the past five stories that you needed to know. And now it's time for Queenie and Weenie of the Week.
our favorite time of the week where Jackie and I just sort of sit back and take at a glance look at the week and we deliver two awards, Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week. Someone who acted like a queenie and somebody acted like a weenie. It's not that serious. It's just like meant to be.
You know, a fun little game. It's a seven day title. We're having fun. So let's start with Queenie. My Queenie is, of course, Martha Stewart. She's an honorable mention for me, but she's actually not my Queenie. Oh, well, I'll just wrap up the conversation we just had about her because I could like.
It's hard not to let a Friday episode influence Queenie and Weenie. But like after what I saw last night, like she's absolutely the Queenie of my week. I agree. Like she deserves it. And I'm glad you gave it to her because I want to give my Queenie to Chessie Soffer who made.
Toastoween, so funny and so great and was so down to play, down to clown and brought so much joy to so many people. Like I was literally in the tub like hours after Toastoween cracking up, people just tagging me in like their stories, like random moments filming Ben throughout the episode. Chessie is a queenie. And she deserves the title. Yeah. She deserves the world. Now, my weenie is kind of directly in response to your queenie. My weenie is James Comey. Yeah.
You know, I didn't have a weenie of the week. I went through everything. You know, I oriented myself to the week, my photos, and then also reading the descriptions of our episodes. It's usually where the weenie finds me. And there was no weenie this week. Until one Jim's James Coney. My runner up weenie of the week was going to be us for dropping the ball on dear toasters. But compared to what James Coney did to Martha Stewart. That's nothing. Nothing. Also. It's weenie like behavior.
If you're not good enough at your job for like a promotion, then that's just say that. But trying to build a career off the backs of successful women and successfully destroying them for your own personal gain is disgraceful. You are a piece of shit. And Martha Stewart. Is a queen. Yes. And if you really couldn't find some real corruption on Wall Street to charge. Do better. Well then you're not very good at your job. That's what I'm saying. Well then we're not very good lawyers are we?
He's clearly like inept and just took an easy way out. And everyone wanted to take down Martha. She was at the top of her game. She was a powerful woman. She wasn't like nice. So it was easy. You know, the press was down. That doesn't make you good at your job. It makes you a scoundrel and a weasel. Scoundrel and a weenie. So, Martha, we will protect you. She's like on our list of people we will heretofore protect. Yes.
Yes, yes. Actually, I can't believe we have talked about Martha Stewart for literally 45 minutes and I have not shared the fact that I sat next to Martha Stewart at a dinner party and I actually did stand up in front of Martha Stewart. Remember when we sat next to her at dinner and she left Margo's phone case?
Yes, yes, yes. But she was at a restaurant. I forgot about that. She was at a restaurant and we happened to be seated at like the next booth to her. No, no. I was at the same party as her. It was a dinner party and we sat next to each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she was a queen. And then the host of the dinner party was like, Claudia, just stand up. Like, should we have her do a joke? And I seriously wanted to kill him. But I did it. What'd you say? I told like a little bit. I had just released. I was about to release my special. So I did like a little bit for my special. Which one? Which bit? about vaping on the plane. And I had my vape with me. Martha thought it was hilarious. Like she was cracking up when I called the flight attendant to see UNT.
And then like I was also seeing an excerpt. We were just like chatting all day and it was amazing. And I just can't believe I talked about her this entire time without inserting myself. That's how powerful Martha is. It's true. I hadn't even thought like.
Yeah. She liked Margo's phone case. What does Margo's phone case say? Don't fucking touch me. It's a heart and it says don't fucking touch me. And Margo's phone was flipped over on the table because we don't use our phones at dinner. And she picked it up and she loved it.
Yeah, Martha was like, that's funny. Now knowing her, yeah, she got that phone case. Yeah, I don't even know. I know it's so personal to her, so she's going to have her criticisms of it, but I think that if it... takes off in the way that I think it will it just came out yesterday the day before I think it will be another sort of like you know kindling like how the Justin Bieber roast was for it will ignite I think another wave of Martha obsession
1,000% and really like nothing that comes next could ever make right what happened. But we could start with a billion. How about we start with a billion and we'll work, but adjust it for inflation. And for the year she would have spent investing with all her good tips.
Right. That's also what she was saying when she was like hanging, she was like, I started hanging out with billionaires through, I forget what it was. And she was like, and these were, you know, back in the day to be a billionaire, not that being a billionaire now is anything to scoff at, but like because of inflation and things like that, like back in the day, a billionaire?
was a billionaire she was like it was different yeah so let's start paying her back where can i subscribe where can i send the check
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