Breaking bread, building bonds - podcast episode cover

Breaking bread, building bonds

Sep 11, 202319 minSeason 1Ep. 443
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Episode description

A new campaign seeks to get people to visit the homes of people from other religions or castes. Shabnam Hashmi, who is heading the campaign, talks to Alka Dhupkar about the aim of the initiative and people participating in the campaign talk about their experiences.

Transcript

From India's largest newsroom, I'm Arun George and this is the Times of India podcast. Ji meye gali metho do tin salsa ratti pariyo Lok meghar P/E nai bulati thi gali me baat Ji tacheshho. Is talking to Ty Plus's Alka Dukkar about recently having invited her neighbors over for a meal and a chat. That might not sound like much, but the campaign that Rinku Singh is part of is a unique

one. Alka spoke with multiple people in Mumbai who are participating in the campaign that's called Merigar Aketo Dekho, which aims to get people to meet people from other communities. Shabnam Hashmi, who heads the organization that came up with the campaign. Explains the idea behind Merigar Aketo Dekho to Alka. You see the kind of hatred that we have been seeing all around us and we have been toying with various ideas. One is that this is not a new idea.

We had experimented it earlier at a very small level, but the basic idea was to somehow fight the prejudices and the preconceived notions which exist. And it was very clear that when people do not meet each other, then it is very easy to spread hatred or spread stereotypes about them. So we were thinking of how to bring people together. The usual method is that you do this interfaith prayers, which usually do not end up in

anything. The idea of entering a house and looking at how people live, I mean, I found it very interesting and I thought if we are able to send families to meet each other. Then all those things that we get on our WhatsApp, for example, all Muslims having four wives and 25 children, that would vanish the moment somebody enters a house. There was a lot of debate once I discussed it with other people because they wanted a much shorter name and not Meregar Aketo Dekho.

I thought that Aketo Dekho was very important because it says that you know, you have preconceived. Notions about me, who I am, but at least come and see. In today's episode, Shabnam Hashmi is in conversation with Alka Dupkar and me about the campaign that has seen people across the country sign up for it. She explains how the campaign works and why they aren't targeting hardline elements of religions.

She also explains why food is at the heart of the campaign, then hopes to sway the opinions of those participating in it. Alka started by asking about how the campaign works. Once guest family and post family are decided that we are going to meet, what happens there? Exactly? How many people are signed up for this camp? We had formed committees in 28 states, speaking to people and friends and organizations over phones and zoom and to some states.

I also travelled everywhere. It is not happening as we would want this to happen. What happens is very simple once two families meet. There is maybe initial few moments when you feel awkward, but after that there is a chemistry which kicks in and they could be talking about anything. They could be discussing food or culture or clothes or childrens education or domestic violence or even politics. One doesnt know.

And the responses have been fantastic of people who have gone and and met a family for the first time of another caste or another religion or another region. A lot of people have told us that it was very important experience for them and it helped them overcome their preconceived notions and a lot of anxieties also like a couple had come both doctors, senior people.

The wife was very hesitant to come to Jamia because the way Jamia has been projected all over, so she was not sure whether something might happen, not with the family but with the area itself. So after coming there, she was very happy that it helped her overcome all those fears. What is the target proof for this camp? The target group it is, frankly. Everyone except the hardcore because we have limited time. Nobody can change the way I think because I am a hardcore secular person.

So if the RSS or the Jamaat Islami or any other Muslim fundamentalist organization wants to change the way I think. They won't succeed. Similarly, we had decided that we are not going to waste our time on either the Qatar Muslims or the hardcore Hindutva people. So our target group was fanciters, ordinary people who are swayed away by the kind of propaganda that comes on television and on WhatsApp messages. But otherwise they have nothing

against each other. They have always lived together. And after listening to this podcast, 1 needs to participate in this campaign. Then what should they do? We have a website for this campaign called meregaraketodeko.com. People are directly registering their and anybody who wants to participate can register their name. Every 2-3 days we check the list and then depending on which state they belong to, we connect them to the state coordinators to help them find a family where

they can go and meet. Visiting areas where never ever they've been like in Dalit dominated area or Muslim dominated area. Why it is important? For example, in Kach in Gujarat, there is this Rabari community. They mainly work with cows. They are. People who are also called Malhari's, they look after livestock. Malhari's are both Hindus and Muslims. They do business together but they had never been to each other's homes.

So it's part of this campaign. The team in Gujarat worked with them and convinced them to visit each other's home. Similarly in Surendranagar in Gujarat. Number of upper caste people went to Dalit families and had tea together. In Delhi, we had there is a place called Jaitpur Extension. So we had over 20 women from an organization who came there and went to Muslim families for the first time. Probably they had never been to a Muslim area. They had never been to Muslim

households. Stories are coming from from Maharashtra, from Karnataka, from Telangana, from all across India. We have not touched Manipur because of the present situation there. But even in Northeast, in Assam, in Nagaland, in Mizoram, not many but some interactions have happened. The response of people who have been to each others homes or organized it in other ways, it has been very good.

But I feel that it needs to expand a lot more to make any substantial difference in the overall situation. Because on 15th August we have approximately 50,000 people participated. That might look a big number, but if we compare it to India, it's a very small number. So there is a need to expand and find the possibilities of reaching out to more people, more groups. Is this a? Political campaign. Everything that you do is politics.

Everything that you do, there is a politics of keeping quiet and let things happen. And there is a politics of intervening to stop. When you talk about fighting hatred, there is a politics to it because organizations and political parties who are spreading hatred, they are doing politics. So it's not political in the sense of that you are doing it for a political party. No, but for safeguarding the diversity, the cabinet harmony of this country and safeguarding as a result of that the

constitution of this country. There is politics to it. There's politics of peace and harmony and love. We have done some very interesting campaigns earlier also, but this has been one of the few campaigns which has resonated so much with ordinary people because this has direct connection with the ground. This is not abusing anyone or calling names. This is just trying to bring communities together. And once people come together, then it's not only one meeting, then they become friends

forever. And sometimes those relationships continue for years. So it's a very innovative way I think of fighting hatred and fighting prejudices, not only communal hatred but also biases based on caste. We have also said that, you know, visit a family which is not of your religion, caste or sexual orientation, so even. The kind of discrimination that the LGBTQI communities feel, if we are able to expand it further then there would be a difference in peoples perception about each

other. So how long do you plan to continue this campaign? You see we have right now said till 30th of January, which is Gandhis martyrdom day, but we hope that. If it lasts till 30th January, then organically it will grow. People will see the use of such a campaign. Nobody wants to live in tension and with hatred, so I think it will grow on its own. Shanti Iyer's husband is a temple priest and they

participated in the campaign. She explained to Alka why food is a crucial ingredient for stronger ties. Sabse Jada kahani sei pyaar padta ye sabko pyaar pyaar se kana banao tabhi achala gegao kana bhi ghar kao kaambi kisi ko. B de NAO PR. See across society. And yet this campaign challenges that by asking you to visit another person's home.

And most of the people that Alka spoke to talk of consuming food at the other person's house and justice, finding out that it is exactly what I eat or things like that. Could you talk about why you're focused on this aspect? One is that what is projected in the media and what is used to polarize is really not the situation on the ground. If you talk to the bucks, they will say all Hindus are

vegetarians, which is nonsense. You know large number of Hindus are not Dalits are not, tribals are not, despite all the efforts done by the Sangh Parivar. But as part of this, we are telling every family that if you know, if you are a Muslim and a Hindu family is coming to your house, just ask them in advance if they're vegetarians, if you are offering dinner or lunch, if you're offering tea, it's fine, then it doesn't matter.

Lot of Hindu families are going and they are relishing non vegetarian food in in Jamia and in Shahid Bagh and and in many other areas across India. So food is definitely a uniting factor. However hard they try to use it as something which polarizes, it doesn't because ultimately the tastes are same and then people end up. Sharing recipes and talking to each other as they say that if you want to keep somebody happy, keep their stomach filled.

How optimistic are you about a campaign like this? A big challenge in this is that we are mainly working through civil society networks and not everyone is able to understand the depth of this campaign. They are so used to organizing programs in public spaces. The name is that mere gharaki to Dekho, But programs are still happening in public places. Or they are sending their own teams. Like one organization sends six people, they go and visit the homes. That is not the idea.

This requires a lot of hard work because you need to go to an area, convince people to open their homes, then find families to visit their homes. This requires a lot of coordination. This doesn't require any money. But this kind of hard work, not everyone is used to doing this. It is taking a lot of time to explain it to people, how to do

it and why it is important. You also spoke of how with this campaign you don't want to reach out to the hardline elements because you don't believe you can change their minds. But then how does one get through to the hardline elements, given they are as influential as they are? How do we change their minds about these things then?

See, that's a very long process Right now, if we look at the challenge that is in front of us is to ensure that the kind of attacks which are coming on democracy and democratic structures and they're using the tool of polarizing people, there is a large section of fence sitters. Who gets swayed away by all kinds of things which are told to them if we are able to reach out to them as first step?

I think that is very important because if there is a possibility of change it is it will happen because of the fence it does Realizing that you know they are being used to spread this hatred and not think about what's happening in the country. Hardliners are very difficult to change because it is intoxication for. Maybe 20-30 forty years. It's not easy to do that, so maybe later stage one can think of how to do it, but I I really don't have any answers for that

right now. How easy is it to change a person's mind on a subject like this where there is an inherent bias? Your bias is fed almost daily. How do you change that? You see, it's not very difficult also frankly. We started another started in 2003 and we started with doing residential camps on democracy, secularism and in every camp we had about 150 young people. We were able to convince at least 80% of them over seven days using lectures, getting very good academicians, showing

films. We used a lot of films you are able to make. People do understand after the second day you will see their faces change and their eyes start sparkling because they have heard certain things for the first time. But the problem is that our reach is very limited because we can reach 100 people over seven days. They can reach probably 70,000 people through their machinery. So it is not difficult to change

the. Problem is having resources, both financial and physical resources to be able to do that. You spoke about the youth just now and with this campaign the focus is on the sort of family unit. How does one reach them with this message? We are trying to reach out to schools and colleges also. In fact, that's also very interesting. I was invited to a school to speak about this campaign and the students were so lively and they asked all kinds of

questions. But later on the school got back to me and they said if you had said students, they would have come. But since you said families to visit families, there's a lot of resistance. There's a lot more resistance in the middle classes than. In among the poor or the lower middle classes. So again, not a very easy task, but we are trying whatever we can. You see the other thing is that this whole campaign is working on zero resources because Anhat

doesn't have any resources. Never had because in 2014 RFCRA was cancelled even. I don't know if you have seen our campaign song. That campaign song is professionally recorded, professionally sung. But it has been done all pro bono mere khar aketo dekho mohabbat he mohabbat hai, Aman hai tusti. So everything is being done pro bono. And there are a lot of things. If one had money, you could push

it on social media here. It'll reach out to a lot more people than it is reaching out right now. We recently had a guest on the show who said that something like communal hate may not stop economic growth or progress, but what it will do is make it very lopsided. How do you see it playing out? What for you is the worst case scenario? It. Will very deeply affect the economic growth. If somebody thinks that it won't, it's a mistake.

Just 2-3 days of unrest in new in Haryana, all the Gurgaon had come to a stop. So if this kind of constant communal clashes are happening or communal hatred is spreading, it is not possible for any economic growth. People do not invest, businesses do not grow, countries do not grow. If there is unrest only in peaceful conditions, when there is everything calm and people are close to each other, only then economy will grow. Today's episode was produced by Jayaraj Singh and Anuja Singh.

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