Men and Their Shame

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Shame is a strange thing to talk about because many people try to deny shame or say we shouldn't feel it. Shame is real and it is a serious issue among men today. We talk about how shame hurts men but also bring out some of the positives of shame that we have forgotten as a society.

The Negative Side of Shame

• Shame is a hidden weight too many men carry
• Secret actions that no one may know about but we still deal with
• Men are designed to be the ones who stand up for others
• Shame causes us to pull ourselves from the fight
• Shame and failure lead many men to quit trying
• Other men just get hard to the shame and stop caring
• We must recognize the negatives that are coming from our shame or they will silently rob us of our real design as men

The Positive Side of Shame

• Our conscience feeling bad can be a good direction for us
• It makes us think twice before engaging in an action
• Imagining the shame more than imagining the thing you want to do is a positive benefit of shame
• We have imaginations and we should use them to think ahead about our actions
• Seeing someone else affected makes us rethink
• Shame can keep us from investigating and finding out more about specific activities
• Thinking through the consequences of shame and letting our own shame keep us from hurtful things is a positive of shame

The Antidote to Bad Shame

• Character and integrity should be the pillars of strength for men
• Dr. Henry Cloud in Integrity: "Character is the ability to meet the demands of reality"
• The more you have a strong core, the more you will make the right choices
• Character is built through the lens of our reality
• The Reality of Our Strengths and Weaknesses
• The Reality of Our Core