Beyond Belief, "Have Gin Will Travel"

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On a new season of Heaven Bent.

The the witch stereotype, the witch idea is the idea of a powerful woman. And by reclaiming that stereotype, women can reclaim some of that power, some of that knowledge.

I'm Tara Jean Stevens. Join me for Heaven Bent Season 11, The Spirit of Fear. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

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Hello Adventure Kateers, it's me, Annie Savage, your favorite. The rumors are true. 20th anniversary of the Thrilling Adventure Hour. And we're so excited to celebrate it with you. Yes, that's right, we're planning a whole bunch of

been to before, there's one we've never been to as a group. And oh but you can guess where it is, mate. Fish and chips. Cigarettes with a terrible word that we don't use in the States. Did that help? No? Okay, anyway, go

We hope you

You will join us for these very special 20th anniversary shows, starring the work juice players. So find out when and where by going to thrillingadventure.live. That's thrillingadventure dot live. We will be updating our site as shows are announced and tickets go on sale. So check back often because some of these Now, if you want early access, or clink, then you can become a Patreon supporter.

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Ad-free, exclusive video content, and early access to most live shows, go to patreon.com slash thrilling adventure hour and help support the show. We really appreciate it. Once again it's thrillingadventure dot live for our tour dates and

See you adventure cateers in twenty twenty five.

the windows and steal yourself.

The toast of the upper crust. Headliners on the society pages. Oh yes.

Who cares what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Join the toys.

Our story begins.

Good morning, darling.

Is it morning, darling?

I've awoken and unless the moon has gotten ambitious, the sun is all

That's the sun all right. Doing what it does.

Then I stand by what I say it. Good morning.

Well any morning is good no matter what time of day it happens to arrive when you're here to greet it with me. Shall I prepare breakfast?

I've already poured it.

Sadie Love, I had the strangest dream last night. I was back in my old high school making my teachers take tests for which they hadn't studied.

You do so love an anxiety dream, don't you?

Yes, as long as I'm the source of the anxiety. Now just as I'm making a bear perform a play for which he had not attended one rehearsal. An appalling hairless cat of a man barged into the theatre, whereupon he tried to tell me what to do.

In your dream.

No, I told him, go start your own dream if you want to give people orders.

And how the deck over.

Oh he shouted about how this may be my dream, but it was his domain and he had need of me.

And and where was the bear in all?

Well relieved to no longer be the center of attention. Especially as it had misplaced its script.

And what did you do then?

Well, I told the man if he wouldn't leave, he could have the dream bare and all. Then I put on my hat and coat and flew away, but not before performing a couple loop de loops in the air.

And does anyone dream with more aerial panache than you, darling?

Not that I've been made aware of so far.

Now, Frank, if that troublesome man appears again tonight, call me and I'll give him a pro.

Well now Sadie, I fight my own battles when you're unavailable.

In my dream a dear old man asked for our help.

A dear old hairless cat of a man?

Do you suppose it was the same man?

Well you didn't agree to help him, did you?

Well not until he told me the man had

Which was

True love.

Well good thing promises made in a dream aren't binding.

True love, friend.

When shall we expect?

We're going to him. A destination adventure. Isn't it fabulous? The two of us on the open road. He left directions in my memory.

If I were ever able to draw a line, leaving the comfort of home would certainly beware.

True love, friend.

Is why I'd never draw a line sadistic.

Take him in robes as

Win owed to a few, then following a chemistry test. Two are chosen over a light lunch with a heavy pour, the doils recall what

Well that they have

Keep a motor car. What as sleek as Frank's moustache. Bags packed, tanks filled, the doils make their way east, where the shadows grow as long as the island they traverse.

Fucking.

All right.

Surprises when not everybody is at rehearsal.

Oh this is it Oh Frank, I haven't visited a castle in ages.

Oh, I do quite admire these fortress style doors. We should get them for our place. Are they opening on their own accord? On second thought our door is fine as it is.

ΦΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡΡ

Oh, and you must be the hairless cat of a man who trespassed in our dreams last year.

See him up close in the context of a castle rather than a dream, I do believe he's not a man so much as a man.

Vampires are real?

Of course. I've a wooden stake in my purse about it.

Frank Doyle is themed in both necromancy and romancy. Surely you know of the existence of the fathers of the children of the night.

Now you know us by reputation, invitation. Whom do we have the pleasure?

Yes, just who is it that carpets a castle?

I am Ozai's blood whisper, Maestro of the Maestrom, the Vale of the Morning.

Is that whale with an eye? Got it.

Charmed.

Less so.

Oh.

I don't think that's true. Indeed. Less so.

Perhaps you will be more comfortable in the sitting room. This way, would you care for some vine?

Oh we never drink.

I have many other spirits as well.

We'll take those, please.

Obsidia! Our guests would like spirits.

Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi.

Oh

Our guests would like spirits.

Oh hey, you must be the Doyles from the Maestro summoning you in your dreams. I'm Doug.

KETA SPIRITS DOG!

Uh you want to narrow it down a little, Obsidian?

What spirits would your guest?

An abundant And all of its friends.

You guys are fun. I like you.

Silence Doug! Retrieve them their spirits.

Fetch their spirits, dog!

Well, we all don't drink drinks and I'm new and it's not my castle. Give me a hint where I'm going?

Attend me, Doug!

I'm attending you, Obsidia.

The two of them. Fresh to the night's eternal thirst.

And one of them is your true love?

Both of them.

Oh a thousand times, no.

My true love's name was Selina Selador. Her feature is symmetrical. I found her quite beautiful.

Empirically so.

Yes, you understand.

And and what was she like?

So love struck was I that it hardly even mattered.

It should have.

She inspired from me my fight. She died before I could finish it.

Ninguém é perfeito.

My Selena was perfect until she wasn't any longer.

Double meaning. Got it? She died.

And thus, the maestro of the night.

I was really a maestro at this point, but the maelstrom was yet to come. But first, please drink.

Attend these spirits guests.

Yeah, the bar card is stuck over here. The the carpets aren't doing us any favors.

Oh but what fine passengers it carries. Look, Frank, a broad selection of liquor of a quality to which

I saw unto your dreams and catered accordingly.

Then why on earth did you ask us if we wanted wine?

The party following the bear's play was in a vine cell.

I was going to brick him up.

Wild. Wait, really? I'm new. And if we're telling stories, then you oughta know that Osias vampired Obsidia and Obsidia vampired me and now I'm out of the landscaping business for good and we all live here in a uh what do you call it? Uh cryptolobra.

You do not call it that.

Well, i if we're telling stories, these aren't the wildest roommates I've ever had. Mikey and the wombat, out of control. So if we're telling stories, buckle up.

We are not the maestro is...

Oh well he doesn't have to tell stories. No one does, ideally.

As a composer, as a conductor, as a man, I was overtaken. I wrote the piece.

Yeah. convenient Not at all Mine became the hands of hell I wrote the devil's symphony, the madness of the no heart. Autobiographical. The audience was driven mad from it, the orchestra burned from it, and I And from it, I became

Uh not to note you to nor pass death, but that story of true love had hardly any love in it at all.

I see why you brought us here to help you workshop it.

My story is perfectly tall, for it is in orchestra parlance. Prelude.

I'd come in later and get out earlier. Speaking of which, shall we?

As soon as we finish this bar cart.

After all this time, the heart of the no hard prince returns.

Ugh what have you mistaken for love this time, D.

As has as happened seldom, but not never, in an English lifetime, you see into the dreams of your representative in a real estate deal. You see his wife and you fall in love with her.

Vampires and the real estate agents wives.

It relentlessly happened. She bears the face of your true love. It is as if she is played by the same actress, so exactly same same she is. You are helpless, but to fall in deep romantic love with, again, the wife of a lawyer involved in your real estate deal.

And you want our help to talk you out of this love? Because that ought to be.

If someone reminds you of your ex and that makes you want to date them rather than run for the hills, you are not over your ex.

Not ready to date at

Oh

You have work to do upon yourself. Before you inflict yourself upon others.

Even were you to be a long-shadowed, long-fingered, long-headed, high-shrugging, marionette-limbed wasp nest pallor. Smells like old Scotch tape, smooth and somehow also wrinkly. Hairless carpet castle cat wanting to date someone because they remind you of someone else would be the creepiest thing about you. Shoot!

Thank you.

Head and shoulders creepier than your creepy head and shoulders.

Icky, right? Thank you.

We have not been able to tell him that in a way that he has been able to hear. Even with Doz ears.

And thy shall not hear it still, even with these ears. This is not why I need help from the great Frank and say the door.

He promised that it is.

No, the problem is what the woman who reminds me of my beloved does for a living. She works. In insurance.

Ah boring work.

Yes, not exactly the heroes of any story, insurance people.

I command you to stop missing the point!

You you have knowledge of our kind. Do you not see the obvious conflict?

Maybe if you're not vampires you don't know. I didn't know until I was a vampire.

Vampires are wealthy because we are all constantly in the world. in massive insurance fraud.

Did you know that?

How would I know what we know?

We did not know that.

Oh, so when you see your sibl when you vampire someone, you first visit them in their dreams to make arrangements. then they take out the huge life insurance policy and then they die and as far as the insurance company is concerned of mysterious and natural causes.

And then the human beneficiary, the freshly turned vampire and the vampire that vampired them, they split the payout three ways.

And my Helen investigates life insurance claims. If we are discovered, it could ruin everything.

Well, not to worry, I'm sure this story will have a happy ending.

I'm pleased you feel that way.

Oh, not for you.

The children of the night sing their song once more.

Would not buy that elbow.

I like to think they're howling, duh! But no, they're just like a furry doorbell.

Ah she approaches she approaches, but how? I have not yet summoned her to me. We have only met in the nocturnal courtship of her dreams. Uh grant her entrance. Everyone, everyone, pretend at casualness I command it.

My name is Helen. I feel a bit silly just showing up here. Oh my gosh, you're real. And look at you. How how old are you? Exactly.

I am forever aged. I have roamed this land for countless years. I am Thirty.

Wait, really?

Thirty.

Centuries?

I'm thirty years old. Ugh.

You think thirty is old?

I expect you are the youngest one in this room.

When was your symphony? When was Celine Salador?

Two years passed.

What? No way.

I was twenty eighth, prime of my living life.

That is not the expression. Why do you look so much older than thirty? Like so much.

I do spend a lot of time in the summer.

You are not supposed to do that.

Vi, what happens?

W it ages you.

No, uh that's humans.

It's worse for you, trust me.

VADS, GIVE ME A MIR!

I don't see what that's going to do.

Wait, shut up, stop. What do you mean? That's humans. What do you mean it's worse for you? And what do you mean I don't see what that's going to do?

I am the knight. You you know this.

I don't know this. I don't know what that means. Someone who's also nighttime.

We have spoken of it for countless hours.

We have never met.

Yes in person? Not until this moment, but in your dreams we have opened our heart to each other.

Are you serious right now?

Yes, at first you wouldn't hear me. You were angry that I kidnapped your husband and drove him out.

That was you who did that?

But but over time I convinced you to listen to me by killing your best friend.

I threaten to keep killing those close to you unless you open your heart to me.

You killed Lisa?

You remember, surely, when we spoke of it it was in the most vivid dream.

I'm actually one of those people who doesn't remember their dreams.

We talked of that in the dream as well. You promised you would remember though.

I don't

You lied to me.

You killed my best friend.

Helen, I must believe you have not forgotten the most significant part.

Have you forgotten that she doesn't remember?

Try to remember she has forgotten.

The connection between us when you saw what I was willing to do to have you it was

What

Yeah.

Você acreditou? Foi tão difícil.

Stop citing the dreams. Nothing in the dreams counts.

Oh, don't tell me I killed your friend for nothing!

You killing my best friend is just one reason I'm not interested.

I wouldn't say you need more reasons.

You're a way too young for me. Also, I'm married to my husband, who you drove insane. Not to mention your name keeps coming up in my insurance investigation.

Okay.

So that's why you come.

This guy's name comes up so often, I'm surprised he's real. In fact, Osiest Blood Whisper, your unlikely name, came up most recently into an investigation into a your death.

Mine, I'm dub.

Yeah, I know, Doug. And I bet if I don't look very hard, I will find your name too.

No, please don't

You won't find us in your investigation.

Yeah, that's what I was just gonna say. You seem like you're from a different page out of a whole other book.

Oh well we are rather a book of a different cover thing.

I'm gonna go. I have to update some files and then start another file, one that you won't like.

Oh no, don't have said that.

Yeah. You absolutely do not love me, you monster.

I do! I do! You look just like her! What?

Walked right up to a building that was on fire, lit a match, and set the building on even more fire somehow!

Fine, Helen, go. We'll have this out, then I'll visit you next in your dream.

Listen to me and hear it good you stay out of my dreams.

Well you only forget them anyway.

Linse!

You clearly love graves, but you must stop digging your own.

Nonsense! Helen can't bar me from entering her dreams. Dreams are public space.

It's not true.

I to and fro of them as I choose. That is what I want. Also for you to be my girlfriend, because you remind me of my old girlfriend.

Okay. Well you killed my friend and insaned my husband, so I don't think my subconscious will be content with me just writing insurance reports. Anything can happen in a dream.

Ah I just remembered some appointments I had heretofore forgotten. Perhaps I shall not bestow the gift of my wizard upon you anon.

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Okay, well I'm glad we settled that. Um good night, everyone. No, not you three, but uh you two.

Good night, dear. Mind the wolves.

Frank and Sadie Doyle, you helped me not at all, even after I demanded it. You shall not live to dream again. I shall have the crimson countains of your throats. Bear them to me and bring them to me, for you are under my throat.

Oh no thanks.

You resist me in my place of power.

It's not all that much power, is it?

Nor is it much of a place. Carpet.

Allow me, bare your throats for the maestro!

Uh let me retrieve the stake from my purse and then we'll see who bears what for whom.

No! Stop rifling through that person won!

Here it is!

Well hold on a second. Oh man, wh I didn't even mean to do that. I've just never seen a steak before. Can I hold it?

Yes, master.

Start a fire in the fireplace and burn their stick in front of them while I drink them dry.

Well, I'm looking at it. Hang on.

Yes, Master.

Oh man what I'm doing this? This is banana

Release the maestro, Doug! Heed me! Heed me now, Doug!

Say yes, Master.

Yes, Master.

Okay, please stop pointing it at me.

Well I heard this rumor around the old vampire campfire. I wanna know if it's true. Since you vampired me, if you got staked somehow, would I stop being a vampire?

I don't know. Please do not stake me.

Does anyone know?

Um in some cases staking the one who turned you would turn you back into a non vampire or

How do you know which is which?

Well you can't, it varies.

Vampires are not a monologue.

What about if I get staked? Uh stuck? Could she stop being a vampire or die too if I uh myself?

Oh oh do be careful.

Those things are more intuitive than you think.

Oh relax, I'm not gonna just accidentally uh uh

Uh

Oh dear. Oh no.

Oh no!

They really melt that death. Those milked deaths are on your heads, Frank and Sadie Doyle. Yeah you brought this stake into my home. I shall fill my belly with your blood, I shall use your flesh as the parchment on which to compose my gruesome master work, and in Helen will have to return my favour.

Unless, of course, Well, Doug staked himself, and that turned both him and his maker into dust.

It could just be a matter of time before her maker also becomes an allergen.

R remind me again who that was, would you? Oh good, my unless came true.

Darling, it occurs to me that I've had a dream just like this.

What the two of us in the castle and the Hamptons with a dusty car?

The two of us with a full liquor cart over which no one has claim. Help me wield this to the car.

Sadie Love, I don't think it'll make it that far.

It seems that Frank and Sadie have once again

directly impaled.

But that's the way the creature crumbles. Where they once again walk beyond belief in a terrifying tale time.

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