Off To See The Guildmaster - podcast episode cover

Off To See The Guildmaster

Sep 01, 20237 minSeason 1Ep. 4
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Episode description

Captured and nursing a headache, Ralan expects a familiar lecture or whipping. But Karch's smug silence and an unusual boat trip upriver hint at something far different, and Ralan's usual bravado gives way to a chilling fear.

Some secrets are worth dying for. Some are worth killing for.

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Intimidated that you're dozens of episodes behind and afraid to start listening? Don't be. Here's a handy Listener's Guide that let's you know spots where you can start listening further in the story.

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Interested in the development of the complex story and want to know how writer Jake Kerr puts it together every week? Want an ad-free experience? Subscribe to his Patreon. Love world building? Want ongoing updates? Free members get ongoing story updates with interesting reference material about the guild hierarchy, geography, and history. 

Free Patreon members also receive copies of the first two Thieves Guild ebooks. The next book will be released in 2025 and Patreon members will also receive that book (and all subsequent books!) for free, too. Want to go directly to get your free books? Click here.

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If you would like to view a map of Ness, you can find it here.

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Grab some Thieves Guild merch!
https://store.podcastalchemy.studio

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Check out our other drama podcasts!

Artifacts of the Arcane
A historical urban fantasy set at the beginning of World War Two. 
The world has abandoned magic, but magic hasn’t abandoned the world.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/arcane

Thursday
A cyberpunk VR thriller.
No one can be trusted when nothing is real.
https://podcastalchemy.studio/thursday

Jake's Theatre of the Mind
Nebula Award nominee Jake Kerr narrates short stories twice a week. 

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Find out more about writer Jake Kerr: https://www.jakekerr.com
Follow Jake on Bluesky @jakekerr.com

Transcript

The Thieves Guild, by Jake Kerr. Episode 1: In the Shadow of the Wall. A glorious autumnal sunset provided a stark contrast between the stern guard in the light on the stone wall above, and the two boys in the shadows on the ground below. Raylan grinned as he looked up and watched as the guard paused in his rounds.

It was too perfect. He and Rafe were standing next to a pile of tomatoes, and the guard stood still, looking out into the plains, his back an easy target with its white armor and robe shining brightly. With Raylan and Rafe in the shadows, the two of them could easily flee unseen. Of course, he had to convince Rafe to throw the tomato at the guard first. Raylan kicked his friend in the heel and pointed at the guard. "I bet you could hit him from here." Rafe looked up.

"The guard?" "Of course, the guard." Rafe stared at the guard for a moment, but then turned away. "Nah, he's too high, and I can barely see his shoulders behind the battlements." "He's not even moving." Raylan started juggling the tomatoes. He tossed one to Rafe, who caught it with his right hand. "Come on, don't be a coward. He's 30 feet up. Besides, he won't leave his post to chase someone who just threw a tomato at him." Rafe started walking away. "No way, Raylan.

The last time I took one of your challenges, Captain Edgar whipped me so hard I couldn't sit for a week." Grabbing Rafe's arm Raylan added, "I can understand being afraid of Captain Edgar, but a member of the White Guard?" Rafe stopped and turned. He was scowling. Raylan had touched a nerve. "Why do you want me to hit the guard so badly?" There was a suspicious tone in his voice. "Because it's fun!" Rafe still looked unconvinced. "And it's a member of the White Guard.

Have you forgotten last Founder's Day?" Raylan glanced back over his shoulder at the guard, still standing with his back to them, his white robe blowing in a slight breeze. When Raylan returned his gaze to Rafe, his friend was staring at the guard. "I think the least you owe them is staining one of their white robes." Rafe's eyes

widened. He had been beaten by three off-duty White Guards during the previous Founder's Day when he was caught painting the statue of Elias, the founder of the Night Guild, a garish red. Rafe looked at the tomato and then the guard. He was clearly debating payback. Raylan made sure not to remind Rafe that it was Raylan himself who had egged him on to that mischief as well. Rafe looked at the guard, tossed the tomato up in the air, and caught it. "I could hit him." "Of course, you could."

Raylan slapped him on the back. "And look." He pointed along the base of the wall and into some shadows. The pile of smashed tomatoes that had oozed down from where they had been practicing tosses for the Founder's Day parade was already hard to see. "You can run that way. He'll never see you that close to the wall, and it's dark all the way to the highway." Raylan realized he was very close to getting his friend to toss the tomato.

"And I'll run this way." He pointed across the field toward the river in the distance. "He'll see me and I'll draw his attention. You'll be long gone, and by the time anyone gets to the bottom of the wall, I'll be across the river." Rafe looked around and nodded. "Give me another one. I might miss with the first." "Good thinking." Raylan tossed Rafe another tomato. He almost couldn't contain his glee.

He really liked Rafe, but it was just too easy to get Rafe to do his mischief for him, and in the end, that's what it was all about. Doing maximum mischief with minimum risk. "Wait until I hit him, and then you run toward the river." Raylan nodded. He hadn't lied to his friend. There was practically no way they could get into trouble. No one was remotely close to them, and the lengthening shadow of the wall made escape a

foregone conclusion. Rafe pulled his arm back and then paused. He looked at Raylan. "I wish the Guildmaster Knight rode in the cage during the Founder's Day parade. I'd shower him with garbage from beginning to end." Raylan was taken aback by his friend's bitter tone, which hinted at restrained

fury. "Well, with Guildmaster Pietro dead, you never know," Raylan added, referencing the late Guildmaster thief who would ride in the Founder's Day parade while the populous would throw spoiled fruit and garbage at him, symbolically abusing him for the sins of thieves. How he put up with it, Raylan would never understand. Rafe ignored his comment, turned, and launched the tomato with his right hand. There was a thud (tomahto splatting) and Raylan enjoyed the moment.

As Rafe took off running, a large red stain spread over the back of the guard's cape. The guard looked down at his feet and then over the battlements toward where Raylan stood. Raylan could see the guard's face and caught his eye for a moment. He then sprinted for the river. As expected, the guard didn't raise an alarm. Still, Raylan took care to turn down a few alleys between the wall and the river. Near the docks, he stopped and bent over, panting for breath with his hands on his knees.

He glanced around the riverfront as he stood back up. The only activity was the hustle and bustle of the shops preparing for the night, and boats of every size ushering people up and down the river. Raylan smiled and walked downriver to the merchant guild slip. He had gotten away with it. (dramatic music)

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